Here are the videos from the Youth Fight For Jobs/No Education Fees London protest 28th November 2009.

videos by Ryan Lee Bhaskaran

Part 1 

Part 2

Part 3

Thanks for viewing!

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

In the middle of nowhere, floating without a goal in space, lost and on its own, a small survival pod. How long it has been floating there is hard to know. It seems to be in good condition, perhaps scuffed a little as perhaps it was picked up a few times over time, dropped again to hover in space when they realized they perhaps were not able to open it without a code.

This pod can only be opened one of two ways. With a code inputted likely years ago by a scientist who was none too sane or from within if the lithe form were to ever wake. The latter seemed unlikely up until an incident, nearly all the way across this ever growing galaxy, took place. An incident in a breeding factory that is best left behind. On that very day, though it might have been night, eyes of a sharp burgundy snapped open as pain that was not his own came to be felt a little too clearly.

Though the pain was not from his own body he felt it as if he was going through whatever was bringing the feeling to the surface. The one at the source was one he had been made to resemble, a boy who should have been his twin but was not. They looked exactly the same though he was taller, a little broader, stronger. They had not stabilized at the same time. Though he had been smaller and more youthful when he had been put into the pod, years upon years did change a body, even if it was not meant to age.

From that very day on, he lay awake, or at the very least aware, no longer dormant. Perhaps a good thing that he still was hooked to the feeding tubes. Small doses of whatever his body needed to sustain him, a source of so called food that would not run out for a few thousand years yet kept him running. Most of his time was spent resting though he often spoke to the one he was linked to, to the one who had awakened him without ever realizing.

Far away on a planet where technology and nature have merged into a world strange and beautiful, a small boy, barely looking older than ten, is huddled quietly on his bed, humming softly to himself as if it would keep sleep away. Sleep and the terrible nightmare that held him in steady, sharp claws every time he did fall asleep. Sleep was the last thing on his mind though it pulled at him, as did the second, softer voice only he could hear, humming softly in time with his own chosen lullaby.

Even though there were nightmares, the voice was always present since the incident, since they had come back from the factory. It soothed him and usually did manage to keep some of the nightmares away though not all of them. It spoke to him, in his mind and at times he did answer it. Of course he never would be able to tell anyone about the voice, they would believe him crazy and he knew he wasn’t. Never had been. Never would be.

Ten years is a long time to spend alone, awake and listening to mostly one-sided conversations. Anyone would lose their minds when spending that much time alone but it seems as if this one was spared though perhaps he was not. It is difficult to know whether or not he still has all of his mind considering how little he does speak, how little time he spends with the others. He seems to have made the star-room his own. He spends most of his time there. Oft times one can find the one who should have been his twin not far off though they are not that often together.

No one knows about how long he was awake in the pod, how long he has been aware of his surroundings but one and this one will likely never say a thing. Should it be learned, it will be from the mouth of the one who did step out of the pod and no one else. How he is alive after the thing crashed is also a mystery, the hole in the roof of the celebration hall is proof that this was quite the crash.

They are together again, in the star-room, the constellation room by its true name. Sitting together in the pitch black room as they stare at the ceiling, the stars above them, moving slowly as if they were watching a true night sky. Though the good thing with that very room is that one can speak the name of the constellation they wish to see and the room will change, they will travel without moving from their seats until they are where they should be with the constellation desired right above their heads.

The smaller one of the two is pointing at the darkened sky above their heads, explaining perhaps about the history of the stars they were looking at until the taller form called out single star’s name and their sky did so change. When he spoke, his words were quiet but almost calculated as if he did not want to waste his breath of words that did not need to be spoken. His story was quiet and simple enough, a tale of where he was when he woke up and as he explained, their ceiling changed to follow his trail through the stars. Through asteroid belts that should have left dents in the pod but had not.

“It’s amazing… You’ve travelled really far, I can’t believe you were all the way over there. It should have taken you longer than that to get here, I wonder why.” Soft rambling, a question that didn’t need any answers as the boy knew there wouldn’t be any. Though not a boy per say, by now looking fifteen though he was much older, or younger depending on how you looked at things, the young man at times had this innocence about him, a blessing when one took careful consideration of the hell he had gone through but ten years earlier.

In the settling silence, the taller form settled, his eyes fluttering shut as he simply thought and let himself be. His mind’s voice was as quiet as the rest of him. He listened to the sounds of the house, of the world about them for all of a minute before he was on his feet and padding back towards the door. He knew his exit wouldn’t hurt the other as it was the way he usually acted though he still offered a soft apology.

Not so much restless as unable to sit still for long periods of time after too many years in the same position—the pod had been small, movement more than limited—he often found himself needing to walk, needing to do things to keep his mind occupied and with such a thought in mind, he was headed back outside.

A lot of his time, since his arrival, was spent outside, exploring the land that surrounded their house. Somehow he couldn’t bring himself to call it a house, the place was huge, it could house so many more than it currently was but all the rooms he had seen so far were used to the extent they could be used. So many bedrooms he had lost count, working rooms, training rooms. At least two kitchens from what he’d found out. Some common-room showers, an underground type of river with water so warm it bubbled away into something of a hot spring and then some.

There was too much for him to catalogue everything at once. A simple trek all the way around the whole place usually took him some hours but by then his mind had cleared enough that he knew he could settle down to sleep without feeling the need to toss and turn all night. So many nights, alone in his bed, had been spent doing just that, tossing, turning, sighing irritably at his inability to find sleep.

Not helping his issue was the fact that too often, as he finally did manage to drift to sleep, his mind refused to stay into his own dream. It wandered and found the dreams of others. That so called gift had kept him from getting a single restful night of sleep since he had landed into this strange world, this strange family.

Back in the pod, it had hardly been a problem, he was too far from everyone and everything for his mind to find another’s dream so he had kept to his own mind but now they were all so close that he simply could not keep to his head. He would need something to make himself sleep and somehow knew that he would have to ask one of the doctors he had met. Well, he knew the family had three they called doctors, but two, he did realize, were family or so he had been told so it left him with one he could speak to about needing something for his nights.

Perhaps before it was too dark he would seek out this very doctor. He hadn’t met the man yet, at least hadn’t spent enough time in his presence to really recall his name or anything else. It had been a quickly passed-by moment when he had explored and nodded a slight greeting. He knew others were aware of his presence but there were so many he couldn’t be expected to know all of their names within the first week or two of his rather abrupt arrival.

Shaking his head and stifling a light yawn, already finding himself worn and needing to find the still, to this moment, unnamed doctor, he turned back to the trail he had been on but moments before. His latest trek had allowed him to discover a small entryway into something that looked positively like a cave. He hadn’t yet gone in, having no means of lighting the path he had located by the mouth of this new area. He wasn’t stupid enough to wander into a dark place without some light.

He had, after all, been awake during those years where his carbon copy had discovered the joys of just that, discovery. Of digging around old places and finding new things, new clues as to how the world ran, what made it how it was and how it might have been before. He had heard the metal one’s rules of safety times and times again, he knew them by heart and though he had seen no reason to keep to those rules before, now had seemed like a good time.

Perhaps after he spoke to the doctor, he would finally get some well deserved rest and in the morning he would locate a light source to do some exploring of his own.

P.S. Melodia se numeste Canned Heat – Going up the country

YESSSS! I finally reached 1000 VIEWS! THANKS!

Kluge Hans (better known as “Clever Hans”) was a most amazing horse!  He had the ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide by tapping out the answers with his hoof.  He could tell time and name people.  He could spell and solve problems involving musical harmony.

His owner, German mathematician Von Osten, began showing him to the public in 1891, and for years, Clever Hans amazed even the stoutest critics.  The horse could perform his tricks for randomly selected people with or without his master present.  It seemed impossible, but no one could deny the horse’s accuracy.

It wasn’t until 1904 when researcher Oskar Pfungst finally figured out how Clever Hans did it.  By testing the horse with a variety of constraints, he learned that Clever Hans was not so clever if he couldn’t see his questioner.  Also, if the questioner did not know the answer to a question, neither did the horse.

Following a hunch, Pfungst started observing the questioners more than the horse.  Soon, he discovered that Clever Hans was responding to subtle non-verbal cues from the people asking the questions.  They tended to tense their muscles until Clever Hans tapped out the correct answer with his hoof.  When he did, the questioner relaxed, signaling to the horse that it had reached the correct answer.  The horse could detect slight movements of a person’s eyebrows or a change in head position or an approving facial expression.  Clever Hans could even pick out a slight dilation of the questioner’s nostrils.

In the end, Clever Hans was most clever when people expected and wanted him to be clever.  Their anticipation of his correct answer provided him all the non-verbal feedback he needed to reassure their trust in his abilities.

Think about the implications for our human relationships.  If a horse is perceptive enough to read our non-verbals with such accuracy – even non-verbals that we are oblivious to sending – isn’t it possible that other people can pick up on them, too (if not consciously, then subconsciously)?  If you have high expectations for someone, it gets communicated in more than your praise.  If you have low expectations of someone, it leaks into every interaction you have with that person.  What you think about a person often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in your relationship.

When you have negative expectations about someone, you can try to fake your feelings when you are around them, but most people will see through your plastic efforts.  The only real way to make sure that you don’t communicate negative expectations is to change how you feel about that person.  In order to do that, you are going to have to change the story that you tell yourself about them.  You need a positive story to replace the negative one.  This is much easier said than done, but here are some suggestions:

• Assume positive motive. Maybe the person is the way he is or acts the way he does, because there is a good reason for it.  Maybe he means well and is doing the best he knows how to do.
• Consider that there may be extenuating circumstances. There may be factors outside of her control – things like the way the person was raised, the limitations on what they know or are able to do, the situation that they are currently in or other people and their behavior toward her.
• Examine your own accountability. Is there anything that you are doing that is making your interactions with this person worse?
• Get more information. Don’t make up your mind about someone or about the way someone behaves without first making sure that you have enough information to make an opinion.  Legion are the embarrassing stories where someone reacted to a small amount of information and later learned that they were missing the most important parts of the story.
• Lower your expectations. If the person can’t or just won’t change, lower your expectations of him.  You will be happier, because he won’t let you down all the time.
• Tell a bigger story. Maybe your story is too small.  For example, you are distracted by your teenager’s sloppy appearance and can’t help but comment on it each time you see her.  But how important is how neat she looks compared to the health of your relationship with her?  Maybe you could tell a story that says the health of your relationship is bigger and more important than your irritation over her appearance, and you are going to overlook her clothing choices in order to preserve open doors of communication with her.
• Pray for the person. Nothing is more effective at changing your heart toward another person than prayer.  Even if you struggle to be sincere with your prayers, make a commitment to pray for him or her until God gives you His heart for that person.

Change what you think (your story) about those around you, and you will change the relationship.  You might even find that your negative story has been the whole reason for the problems between you.  Change your story; change your world.

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

So, okay, how can I even start this? Stupid thing, to carry this kind of book to write down in it. I’m just going to write it all down as it comes so I can’t expect anything fluent or anything that does make sense.

Yesterday morning, Min gave me a bag of rations she’d managed to snag from the pantry, there was enough to keep myself on my feet for a few days if anything. I’d still be hungry but it would fill in a void. We both went to school and once classes were over I gathered up my ever cowardly courage and confessed to the one guy I’d fallen so thoroughly in love with that I had been willing to give away the whole of my life to be with him.

Good news, he accepted my confession with wide open arms, you wouldn’t have found any happier than I was in that moment. At the very least until he told me he couldn’t leave the city. His mother was ill, dying he even said so he couldn’t leave. He wished me the best of luck and said that maybe one day in the eventual future we might meet again.

That was that. I made it to the town’s edge and by the time the sun was setting, I was out and on my way. I just walked. I kept to a straight line or at least that’s what I told myself. It felt as if the line I was walking along was straight enough. It was well into the late morning that I found a road and on that road, a strange man with a metal box with black wheels made of material I didn’t know.

The man seemed mad, I couldn’t—still can’t—understand a single word he was saying but it seemed as if the metal box was being a problem and he was trying to fix it. I figure he did fix it when it started purring. I know it’s not the proper term for it but it’s the only thing I can compare it to. Well, I could say it was sort of rumbling too, a noise I’d never heard before, in any case.

It took some time before he noticed me but I guess it didn’t matter much, I was much more fascinated by the metal thing than anything else. His name is Enlil, or at least it sounds like that so I figure it’s it. It’s so foreign but it rolls on the tongue in an odd way. He sat in the metal thing and opened the door on the other side. I assume it’s a door, it served the purpose any other doors ever did. I guess he wanted me to step in and I did.

It was a strange thing. The seat was comfortable, perhaps because I knew I wouldn’t want to get up again for a long time to come. I had been walking for hours without really stopping and my legs turned to jelly the moment I did sit. The rumbling from the metal thing wasn’t as bothersome as I thought it would be though, it was almost soothing.

Out of a smaller box in the bigger box came a map. I managed to mostly pinpoint where we were and then the next closest city, or what I assumed was the closest city. I remembered a map back home where the teachers had told us where we were, a nothing in the middle of nowhere. The map had been pretty old but the surroundings had remained mostly the same. We were in the middle of nowhere and the middle of nowhere looked like, well, the middle of nowhere.

We stopped before we got to the city, I’m not sure if it’s because he thought the box wouldn’t make it that far or simply because he was tired. I didn’t know and wouldn’t ask. This stranger didn’t speak my language and I certainly didn’t speak his. I slept through most of the way to wherever it is we were.

There we went into a building that had a lot of rooms and we had one of them. It didn’t look lived in but he settled in main area and pointed me towards the bathroom. It was so very foreign that place, I know I ended up staring at everything in that bathroom for a good fifteen minutes before I figured out how things sort of work and I had a shower. It felt divine! I couldn’t recall ever showering quite this way before. Once I was done, he was the one who showered and I guess I must have fallen asleep because next I knew it was morning and breakfast.

Breakfast, as strange as the rest! I’m so used to simple things. Home made bread, fruits, the usual rice fare but we had things I hadn’t actually eaten before. It looked strange but tasted really good. I would have eaten more if I had been able to but I didn’t want to seem like an ingrate or something. That and I still had food in my bag, some bread, dried fruits and a container of water. That container I had kept preciously. It was the only one I had and I hadn’t known how long I would have had to go before I found a source of water. The sun is harsh around this time of the year.

The tea he handed me was as welcome as the food that had been put in front of me. I could have salivated but I know I didn’t. That would have been worse than my own mother walking in on me naked or something. Not that it happened so I wouldn’t really know but I’m just saying, or writing in this case.

I don’t know who this man is or what he does but he has helped me step away from the life I have always know. I feel indebted somehow and I don’t know what I can do to repay him, if I can even repay him at all at this point. That I cannot understand a single word he says bothers me but I should have expected that, there are foreigners everywhere in the world and languages other than mine will be spoken. I just feel a little out of place. I know I am, it doesn’t help much.

He said something about Seoul and I wish I could have understood. I had heard rumours about Seoul. About it being a big city with lights and things that only ever would be real in fantasies had they been real. If we were to head there, it would have made me happy. For a while I figured that I could just settle somewhere in there, I’m sure I could have found something to do and there they were bond to speak a language I understood.

I really needed to do something about this language thing but I was at a complete and utter loss. I didn’t know if there was anything I could do to make myself be understood and if there was anything to be done for me to understand him. It was a stupid idea to want to communicate but I kept on thinking that there had to be some way. It was on my mind somewhat constantly. Constantly enough that I didn’t notice when he took out a small box. I need to stop calling everything a box and figure out the proper terms, it isn’t easy. This box though, it had a circular end and looked strange but not as strange as the moving one.

I didn’t touch it, didn’t ask to and actually kept away from it. Somehow I figured that it was the last thing he would want me doing. Touching something of his like that. Who wanted their things manipulated by strangers anyway? When we got back to the moving box and started the rolling thing, I felt a little homesickness settle.

It wasn’t enough for me to want to go back. I don’t think anything would have really made me want to go back, I had left too much behind to want to go back anyway. If I ever were to return, I couldn’t imagine that it would be into wide open arms. They would probably think me a foreigner who no longer belonged. I couldn’t really let it get to me so I let it go.

It was about at that time when I took this stupid book out to start up with the whole writing deal but he stopped the box and took his smaller one towards a tree. I’m not sure what he did but right as I was setting the pencil to this paper he dragged me out there, made me sit by the tree and did more of whatever it is he was doing with that smaller box.

Once back in the bigger box, I put the booklet away and I think it was a good idea since twice more we stopped for more of whatever he did with the small thing. He kept on pushing what looked like a small round button near the top. I’m not sure what he did but he seemed pleased enough so I had no say, not that I really wanted a say. It wasn’t hard work. If that was even work.

Then we got there. Seoul. It is so much bigger than I imagined it ever being. It feels as if it would swallow me whole if I were to close my eyes for all of a few moments. We drove until we were so far in I could barely see the edge of the city again. I felt so lost. No that I had much time to really stop to think about it since he stopped the box again and we were heading into another place with a lot of rooms, like the other place but so much bigger. Everything about this city is big!

Then we were in front of two doors. I didn’t know what he was waiting for but when those doors opened I think I balked. Another box! What was this world about, why so many boxes? When we were in and the doors closed I felt myself closed in, as if the box had just swallowed me whole! You wouldn’t know how happy I was when it spit us back out!

Well, I know it didn’t -spit- us out but still.

Then we were in a room so.. I don’t know the term. This room it’s.. Grand. It’s beautiful. It has things I’ve never seen before but I’m more than willing to admit that I’ve seen nothing of this world.

He’s in the shower now, or what I figure is the shower, it’s even bigger than the other place with the rooms. Since he’s in the shower, I finally took the booklet out and that’s what I’m doing now. I can’t believe I wrote all of this down. Most of it reads like I’m talking aloud to someone else, it’s a little disconcerting.

I’ll just try to keep track of things this way. I’ll write to Min soon.

- 하늘

Köszi a több mint 1.000 látogatót ! Mintha csak pár hete írtam volna az első bejegyzésemet…pedig már eltelt 3 kemény hónap, mialatt 53bejegyzést olvashattok(eddig) tőlem Legtöbb látogatóm Nov.21-én volt itt. Szám szerint 67en Aki nem hiszi az kattintson ide …nem hiszel nekem?!?  akkor rohadtul beszoptad De itt a kép ami bizonyítja az állításomat

Ésta vez no os traigo ninguna aplicación ni ninguna notícia, sino un simple post de agradecimiento:

Useful4Mac recibía hoy entre las 11 y las 12 de la mañana su visita número 1000. Una visita que no hubiera sido posible sin el soporte de todos los lectores y de la gente del Foro de Maquecitos, por lo que quiero daros las gracias a todos por éstas semanas que lleva el blog en activo.

Espero poder seguir editando durante mucho más tiempo y que éste blog crezca día a día y pueda ayudar a mejorar nuestras Manzanas diariamente.

Un Saludo y GRACIAS.

Quero agradecer imensamente a todos vocês que acessam esse cantinho em que registro um pouco dos meus esforços nas corridas, treinos, poesias, teatro… Enquanto escrevo esse post tive 999 leitores que embora anônimos me alegram muito por dedicar seu tempo lendo aquilo que escrevo… deixo um pedido ao leitor número 1000 que registre seu comentário neste blog para que todos saibamos quem foi o leitor 1000. É muito fácil, na hora que acessar esse Blog e visualizar o número 1000 nas visualizações deixe um comentário neste post e se quiser pode contar um pouco mais sobre você e o que tem gostado de ler no meu blog para que dessa forma eu possa tornar esse cantinho cada vez melhor…

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

“What if he doesn’t make it?” Words spoken softly by a lithe man standing at the foot of a large bed in which a lone figure rested, still as if there was no breath left to take. His chest did lift and drop ever slowly though it may have had more to do with the thin tube that rounded his head with its two openings branched towards his nose.

The room was quiet short of the regular beep of a heart monitor on the other side of the bed. It was disquieting perhaps when barely a week ago this room had been full of laughter and joy. So sombre the atmosphere that the children didn’t even dare come into their grand-father’s room.

A petite woman standing by the bedside lifted one shoulder in a somewhat hopeless motion. “I don’t know. This is so sudden, I don’t know what it is, no amount of tests is giving us significant information, all we can do is keep him as well as we can and give him everything he might need.”

“Everything he might need? Just what the hell would that be when he hasn’t even woken up once since his collapse? If he won’t tell us what he needs, how are we supposed to know?!” His words were spoken with venom and he closed his eyes against the sight he knew would greet him if he looked. To see the woman look so hurt by his words would only weaken his resolve. He knew she was doing her best but they had not made a single ounce of progress since the older man’s collapse.

Wincing slightly, the woman sighed but walked to the foot of the bed and gently pushed the man towards the door. “You’re exhausted. You’ve barely rested since he collapsed. You need to sleep, it wouldn’t do us any good if you become ill in turn yourself. We do continue to run tests and you know it, we will find out what’s wrong and we will help him get better. This is the only reason I ever became a doctor and you know that as well as I do. I live to help others.”

Grunting softly against his sister’s light push against his back, he sighed but walked towards the door without needing to be told twice. He rolled his shoulders to ease the tension and looked back towards the bed with a sigh. While he wasn’t on such good terms with his father, he wouldn’t wish the man dead. They already had lost their mother, his nephews and nieces—however many of them there was now—deserved at least one grand-parent to spoil them rotten on their side of the family. Even if the man didn’t understand the meaning of ‘spoiling rotten’ too well.

Shaking his head and letting the thought drop for the moment, he walked back inside and to the windows. He pulled the curtains wide open and managed a faint smile as sunlight began to pour in the room. He remembered a time in his childhood when his father would settle on the large swing outside and merely let the sun shine on his face. He had always mentioned about how it made him feel young again. Already feeling a little better himself, now that the room wasn’t bathed in so much darkness, he walked back out of the room and towards his own, temporary as it was.

They all had been on vacation, a visit from the whole family during a time of celebration. Their father’s collapse had been so unexpected. Last he remembered seeing the man, and last his sister had told him about her visit, he had been well, better than well even. The man had been so healthy that he had just returned from a trip around the world—well almost. He had visited different continents and several cities over the course of a few months.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he finally stepped into his bedroom, a guest room like a dozen others in the oversized house, and dropped gracelessly onto his bed. “Of course it almost looks like it’s my fault. I’m the one he was arguing with when he just dropped. Not that they’ll hold it against me, I doubt that but still.”

Softly muttered, his words spoken to no one in particular. The scene from a week ago still fresh on his mind. How could it not be? It was a scene that came to happen every single year at the very same time, give or take a few days depending on the season. His father was a bitter man for the choices his son had made and a simple discussion between father and son always escalated into an argument that everyone in the house could hear. At least, they could hear half of the argument.

“I’ve never once let my voice be any louder than it is during normal conversation but you’re constantly screaming. So what if I’m the oldest, so what if I’m not married because you know I just don’t care for women? Well I’m sorry I can’t give you any grand-kids. Knowing you, you wouldn’t even appreciate them because you’d think my choice for a life partner wouldn’t be fit for our surname.“ He really was too tired if he already was in the process of going over the source of their yearly argument by himself. Rolling over to his side, he willed his eyes to close and his thoughts to drift to darkness with little success.

Perhaps his clothes? Sighing, he got back out of bed again and undressed, folding his clothes away as he did and slipped into a pair of pajama bottoms. It was too warm in the season to be wearing anything else and even wearing the bottoms made it difficult to sleep. Nieces and nephews, however, had a habit of storming into any room they so pleased and since he had a tendency for kicking off the covers, he didn’t care much for bright-eyed children to stare at his bare, inked form.

That too had been reason for strife and yelling between the man and his father. Old fashioned to the point of pain, his father had always associated ink and piercing to drug use, so when his son had come home one day, ears pierced and the tip of a tribal tattoo visible along the side of his neck, there had been quite the argument, even more heated than ever before. Of course he had gotten quite the lecture about drugs and how his sorry hide would be beaten black and blue if any was ever found in the house.

Of course he had moved out of the family home just a week later, barely seventeen, not quite ready to face the world yet but he had made his way and had never once looked back to ask help from the man who had forced him out of that very home.

Lifting one hand to his ears, pierced but without the usual studs, he sighed softly at the memories and closed his eyes once he was settled on his bed once more. He had but once before come to the family reunion with his studs present in the piercing in his ears and the argument that had stemmed from it had grown nearly to the proportions of being world war three. Of course those very studs were not far and he wore them every day, simply taking them off when he had to see his father.

Uncomfortable with the simple weight gone from his ears, he was once more out of his bed and to the small adjoining bathroom where he kept the earrings as well as a pair or two extra in a small box. From the container, he pulled two studs, simple and small and worked on getting those back right where they belonged.

Worn gaze stared at its reflection in the mirror one he was done and a soft frown touched his lips at the rings he noticed under his eyes. While he had let himself lose sleep over his father’s condition, he knew he couldn’t exactly let it take much more out of him. His schedule was tight enough that even if he cancelled most everything on it, he wouldn’t be able to stay much longer than he already had. It was not as if his presence was necessary within the walls of the house as was.

Shrugging, he went right back to his bed and let himself drop to his chest, clutching one of the pillows with a snort. “I’m so tired I’m thinking about everything of importance and nothing that matters. This is foolish and childish and I’ll just pack up and leave in the morning. If anything happens they can always get in touch with me. I’m the last person father wants to see anyway, last he was ill, he asked for every single one of his daughters and left me out altogether, he’s too stubborn and proud to admit that I’m not as much a failure as he imagines me to be.”

Still he could have kept on muttering this way for hours had sleep not called to him the way it did, easing his troubled mind into the darkness that would comfort him to the best of its abilities. Given that nothing else troubled him while he tried to rest. So often it had happened, stray thoughts, moments of lucidity evading from the depth of a darker realm, a deeper sleep.

The man did sleep on from the moment he drifted off, peaceful and blessedly alone as nephews and nieces kept out of his room. Perhaps because it was so far into the house, perhaps because mothers and fathers had told them to keep away from it, knowing the man needed the rest, perhaps even more than anyone else within the walls.

Of course, one has to understand that while father and son do not get along, it perhaps does not mean that one will not care about the other when unsuspecting illness barges into a life that had been no other than brightly lit and free of care until that day. Of course the older man was no longer a child, no longer able to run marathons or to do exactly as he wished with life but there still was enough vigor to the body, to the man himself that illnesses of this sort were enough to draw worry out of every single one of his flesh and blood, even if they are not on good terms.

Within a room with wide open curtains and a still form on a bed, fingers twitch and a sigh escape. Death is not yet ready to claim a life and perhaps not for quite some time yet. Some do go too early but are, at times, sent back, others are simply not allowed to go until the things that trouble them most are smoothed over. Anyone would wish for little more than a smooth ride away, if that time ever was to come.

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

I’ve never been to the doctor’s office. I’ve never been sick once in my life before. At least not that I remember. Momma’s always taken care of me when I was a little urpy though it’s never been more than that. My throat hurts a little today and mom’s just about tearing her hair out about it. She called the doctor and said that she would take me there today. I’m not sure how to act, I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never really been out of the house before. Mom says it’s dangerous out there, that’s why she’s never really let me play out. Zaa’s visited now and again though, he’s really nice. He has a sister, Molly, and we’re supposed to get married soon.

When I went to bed last night, I think I forgot to close my window. The nights have been getting a little cooler but the day had been really warm. That and mom has the heat on really high in my room. So I cheated a little and I opened my window. There was a tiny bit of breeze but it was so soft that it left my curtains well enough alone and mom didn’t really see anything. When I got up in the morning though, my throat was a little achy and mom started fretting like never before. It was sort of amusing in its own odd way, I guess.

Wasn’t quite as amusing when she pulled out about half a dozen scarves that I knew she would wrap around my head. It was still sort of warm out and knowing her, I wouldn’t even be able to see where I was going to be walking once she was done wrapping me up like a present ready to be given away or something. I don’t even know why I think about these things, at times the strangest of thoughts surface.

Mom told me that the doctor would take care of me and that I had to trust him. It’s going to be strange, trusting someone I’ve never met in my life but mom’s never lied to me so I’ll have to do it. She’s really sweet, my mom, if a little overprotective at times. I mean, I’ve seen other kids running around in the park just across the street and they never have been wrapped up quite as I end up being when I do go outside and I see them playing with one another and I don’t know if their parents have them wash their hands three or four times once they’re done to make sure they’re germ free. It’s strange.

I mean, last time I played with Zaa—Zaahir is the son of mom’s… twice or thrice removed cousin—when he finally went home, I had to take a shower and mom scrubbed my back over three times because we’d roughed and tumbled a bit around on the grass outside. I don’t know if she was over-reacting but I have to say that my back was a brand new shade of pink when she was done. It wasn’t the first time it happened and not the last.

Every time, before I start playing the piano, she’ll wipe every key down before I touch them and she’ll even wipe down the bench before I even sit. I know she’s just looking out for me but it feels strange at times, like she’s doing too much. I know my immune system isn’t the best in the world—despite that I’ve been healthy as can be so far in my life until today—but since I’m the only one touching that piano at all to start with, shouldn’t it be okay? Why not just clean it up once a week or something? Well I’ll never really know. Maybe Molly won’t be so pushy about the need to be quite so clean, maybe she will too though. I’ve never met her. We will soon, real soon mom says.

This doctor, mom tells me, he’s known me since I was little. It’s a little odd, or so I tell myself, I mean, if he’s known me since I’ve been little, shouldn’t it be a two way street? Why do I not remember ever meeting him when mom says I’ve gone through once overs at least once a year? I have little choice but to believe her, mom’s really never lied to me, I don’t know why she would to start with, it really wouldn’t make much sense.

I do love mom, she’s been the only constant presence in my life since I’ve been a little boy and she’s the one person I know best. I don’t know who my dad is, I don’t think I ever will. I asked mom about him once and she just told me to go practice my piano. She didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t push the issue. She looked uncomfortable and that was the last thing I really wanted. Mom does everything she can to see to my comfort so in turn, the least I could offer back, is whatever I have that would make her happy right? Sounds about right.

Every Sunday, mom goes to church. She says I can’t go because many people there carry germs and things that could make me sick. When she comes back, we go into the living room and she goes over the sermon with me because it’s important that I know what happened and what the Lord wants us to know. At times the things she say sounds a little strange but I guess that’s because there are some things I just don’t get. I don’t really question her about it. I did once and she got mad. Not angry-evil mad but mad enough to lock me into my room without dinner. I was so hungry that following morning!

Mom’s also the one who teaches me what I need to know for my schooling. Simple subjects I know well enough about, often she goes over the same things times and times again. A lot of things she teaches me I already know. When she goes out of the house for shopping or other things, I just read the books with the school stuff in them. It was a little boring at first but you get used to it. I sort of already know most everything she’s teaching me but she looks so happy when she tells me about those things and explains them to me that I let her. She really wants me to learn.

Though we only really go through math and language skills—reading, writing, speaking—at times I wonder what the kids learn at school. I mean, I see them get on their little yellow bus in the morning and they only ever come back late in the afternoon. My classes with mom never take that long so they have to be learning other stuff, right? At times I want to ask her about it but I don’t know what she’d say. It’s so late in the school year anyway, I wouldn’t be able to catch up anyway. It amuses mom a little but at times she tells me I’m not too smart because I make mistakes on really simple things. It can’t really be helped I guess.

It hurts a little when she says it but what can I say in turn? I just apologize and go back over my mistake to correct it, noting the thing to myself so I’ll remember not to muck up next time. When I make mistakes, she makes sure to go over it in a small half-test the next day to be certain I actually do get it.

But anyway, right? Today’s doctor visit day and mom has scarves laid out as well as my heavy winter coat. We’re just in the middle of autumn, it’s not cold enough for my winter coat! If the ride’s too long—and I know she’ll have the heat on full force in the car—who knows if I’ll be aware of anything at all by the time we get to the clinic? Or wherever we’re going.

One scarf wrapped securely about my throt. That’s layer one right there, above my sweater and my shirt. There goes the coat. Holding it out for me to put on so what other choice do I have but to slip my arms through the sleeves and let her button it up to my throat? She’s never let me zip and button up my coat myself. It used to really amuse me but at this point I only find it odd. As if she didn’t trust me to button myself up properly. Still I can’t really struggle against her wishes. She’s a sweet person. She only looks out for me, that’s all.

With the coat done up, next comes the series of scarves. Once she’s done with that, I can barely see where I’m going and I can already feel myself begin to sweat, not a good thing really. My throat itches and I can barely do anything about it. Working mostly blind, I let her walk me to the car and buckle me in. That’s something else. For the rare times I’ve been in the car, never once have I been able to actually buckle myself down properly. I wonder if she’s afraid I’d hurt my fingers?

So often she’s complimenting me on my fine, gentle pianist’s fingers. It’s a praise that warms me to no end.

As I was afraid of though, she cranks up the heat and the only thing I can really do is close my eyes and try to tough it out. I tell myself I’ll be out of the car soon and that I’ll be in the doctor’s office. That he’ll probably need me to shed a few layers to be able to do whatever it is he needs to do to take care of the itchy throat.

The ride isn’t as long as I thought it would be though I can’t exactly see where it is mom’s leading me. I stumble a little, move where she’s guiding me to and the next thing I know, I’m inside, a few scarves gone and I’m not overheating anymore. I can only imagine that my face is red as a tomato.

I only half hear as the doctor tells my mom not to worry and that he’d call her once he’d looked me over to see what the problem was. The lady in the other room also made calls to cancel all of the man’s appointments. That I wasn’t sure why but who was I to argue? This was the man who would be taking care of me and I had to trust him. My mom had told me that if I didn’t trust him, I certainly wouldn’t be getting better.

I did so want to get better so I would do as he told me. I had little else to do anyway. I just wanted this itchy throat to be gone so I could go back to the piano. It is my one passion, I do so love it.

Nada como um cigarrão e um bolo pra comemorar!!!

Obrigado insanos/psicopatas/loucos/vagabundos/etc pelos acessos…

Muita desgraça promete pra o ano que vem nesse blog podre…

Well I reached my 1000th visitor last Thursday and I have had over 250 visits since then so I feel this post is slightly behind! I have been busy and away on holiday, but I am determined to catch up. I promised in my previous post that I would write about two lovely visitors to my site, so here they are:

Etheriel Musings

Grace of Etheriel Musings is a really lovely woman and was one of the first to comment on my site. Her website is full of all her gorgeous writing. She mostly writes film reviews, but she also writes observations of life around her. Grace is truly talented not just with how she writes, but the way she has actually thought about a movie or situation in life. You don’t have to take my word for it either – Roger Ebert (the famous film critic!) has noticed Grace and has gushed about her writing too . Another fun thing is that Grace is going to be visiting Perth soon, so we hope to catch up Go on, go visit her site!

Megnificent Made

Megan has dropped by my site on more than one occasion to brighten it with her lovely comments. Her website is fairly new as well, but I am looking forward to the crafty posts she has coming up (I got a sneak peek by looking at her flickr photos)! She writes about her adventures in Australia, cool crafty finds, items she designs, aaannnnddd she has some cute felt craft tutorials (I have to get some pink felt to make her strawberries!). She also has a couple of guinea pigs with her partner which is extra cute. If you want some craft ideas, go check her out.

Now I am sure there are many, many other wonderful visitors to this site, but I don’t know who you are unless you leave a comment and say hello . I enjoy visiting the websites of people who visit (unless you are just a spammer of course ), so don’t be shy.

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read. – However, a special note for this post: this text signifies my reaching the 50k word mark, for which I’m most happy though it is longer than the others so far and I still have four more days of writing planned, so go me, WOO!

“Once upon a time, long, long ago, a princess was locked away in a castle by her evil step mother.” A pause in the quiet speech, fingers reaching out to muss the young boy’s hair with a soft chuckle. “A prince from far away had heard of the beautiful princess and how she would only be freed if one could defeat the dragon guarding her. Believing in his strength and love for the princess, the prince saddled his horse and rode off on his way to free the princess.”

Ha-Neul canted his head back briefly, thoughtful and the quiet whine at his side brought his attention back to the present. Still he had to figure out what he was going to tell his brother. He hated making stories on the spot, not that he was trying overly hard. “When he arrived at his destination—the castle with the high tower from which he could see the princess—he charged the sleeping dragon, piercing its heart with his pure sword. The spell the evil step mother had set on the castle broke and the prince freed the princess. They lived happily ever after. The end.”

A soft snicker and he was moving back to his feet, tucking his younger brother in properly. The boy was sulking, his slim arms crossed and trying to come across as mad. He was failing miserably but it was amusing. “Fairy tales are for girls and that wasn’t even a fairy tale, I wanted a story with action!”

“That was a story with plenty of action. It’s late, Yong. Go to sleep.” He was already at the door, fingers on the light switch and sparing the young boy a final glance. He saw himself in the younger boy. Full of energy and wanting action and adventure, knowledge that there was something more out there, knowledge that there was life beyond their little city. He doubted it would develop into anything however.

“But Ha-Neul! There was no action at all! Tell me another story!” Arms crossed still as he opted for pouting instead of sulking and looked like he would start throwing a fit were he not told another story.

One brow quirking, the young man by the door shook his head and flicked the light switch, the whole room falling to darkness. “Go to sleep or I’m telling mother about the cookies you took before dinner when you were specifically told not to. You don’t want me to do that, do you?” A soft sigh from the bed gave him the answer he had been expecting and he turned to leave the room, door partly closed, only allowing for a sliver of light to pour in. Just enough to keep the boy calm. The age where they were old enough to no longer require a nightlight but still need some form of light, even if they didn’t really realize it.

On his way out towards his own room he nearly ran into his sister as she had stepped out of yet another bedroom where three younger girls were settled. “Didn’t give you too much trouble, did he?”

“No trouble at all. Sleep sweet, don’t stay up late. We have an exam tomorrow.” A mild smile before he kissed her cheek and padded to his own bedroom and closed the door but halfway, dropping down to his bed with a distinct lack of grace. He usually had more grace than this, he usually had more of everything but his parents had begun to pressure him about dropping out of college to help in the fields. His father was beginning to grow too old to do the work himself.

Dropping out of school was the last thing he wanted to do, even if the classes he was going through were as useful as classes on how to paint a straight line when you’re trying for a circle. It gave him a breather, it gave him time to simply be himself, to let go of everything else and not worry about the world. Of course his parents didn’t allow him to have much of a breather, his weekends were spent working the fields when he couldn’t come up with the excuse of needing to study and so were his afternoons if there were no classes.

Running a hand through his hair lightly, he stared at his ceiling with a sigh, letting his mind drift elsewhere. He didn’t want to think about his family or anything else. He did want to think about the object of his unrequited love but didn’t. He was too high strung yet too worn to think about the man. A single thought about him would bring up bodily reaction he didn’t care to deal with at the moment. There was not much else for him to focus about so he relaxed.

A faint, exhausted chuckle escaped him as he shook his head. “Fairy tales are for girls, huh? I wonder if what I’m wanting falls into the fairy tale category? It seems fantasy-like enough to start with. To get out of this town? A dream that is so far out of reach it would be foolish to keep on hoping it would happen. Yet it’s still there, taunting me.”

In his doorway a slim figure rests against the door frame of the partly opened door. Her head canted lightly sideways as she watched her brother—older but barely by a few minutes—with a worry to her gaze. He looked so worn the past few days. Things were getting more difficult with their parents and there wasn’t much she could do to help him. Still it was a little amusing to watch him talk to himself that way. “What are you mumbling about?”

Jumping in surprise, eyes wide in the darkness as he sat up and stared at the shadowy shape in his doorway, heart thudding sharply in his chest and breath coming in short pants. “You scared me half to death! If our parents heard any of this they would have my head and you know it as well as I do!”

It had been his fault in a way, speaking his thoughts aloud. He really needed to learn to keep his words unspoken. His brain had enough room left in it to hold a personal conversation or two. So long as he didn’t start answering his own words. They did say that talking to yourself was a good thing, so long as you didn’t start answering your own questions. “Just… I was thinking about all those things I won’t have. They want me to stop going to classes so I can take my place in the fields like the rest of my brothers.”

The tone of his voice spoke volumes about what he thought of the whole thing, even if his words had been ever soft. Min sighed and slipped inside his room, closing the door lightly and settling on the bed beside him. She offered him her hand and managed a half-smile when he merely dropped his forehead to her shoulder. “We’ve always been close, Ha-Neul. You know you can tell me everything and I will never, ever tell our parents. I know how much you want out of this place, into the world out there but we both know it’s foolish. No one ever leaves this place.”

Softly bitter word. An adventurer at heart much like her brother, she had long ago, however, given up on those very dreams. It wasn’t as if they were forced to stay in the city but the road to anywhere beyond the walls of their little world was so long that they both knew they wouldn’t get far before they were out of food and too worn to continue. There were rumours of a young boy long ago having tried to run away, how he had made it but an hour or two away on foot before he’d turned back to get back to the city. Something about being afraid, something about spirits or beasts. The story differed depending on who told the sordid tale.

Neither one of them knew if any part of it was true.

“I can’t stay here, Min. They’re going to drive me insane! I want out in that world that seems so far out of our reach! I want out to a place beyond these walls, I want to know the truth and so be it if I have to die because of it! I don’t- I can’t. I just can’t work the fields, Min. It’s going to be the end of me and I would rather be out there if I were to die than here. I’m sorry.” He mumbled his words softly, pressing his forehead closer to her shoulder as he shuddered briefly. Those words were not easy to speak but they were true enough.

Sighing, she reached a hand up, brushing her fingers lightly through his hair. “What about him?”

There was no need to mention any name, he knew well enough who she spoke of and he closed his eyes even more tightly as if refusing to acknowledge the question for a few, painfully long minutes. “I don’t know. I know how much my heart longs for him. I know that he does seem to like me to an extent but Sun would rather ruin him altogether before she let him be with someone else, let alone another guy. Even if I were to confess and somehow convince him to come with me, do you really think he would? He likes it here!”

“How do you know for sure? Have you actually asked him? Maybe he wants out of this place too you know. I’ve seen him look towards the city limits at times, I sit near him in class, I’ve heard him talk about it, mumbling to himself like you do. I’ve seen him write about it.” A gentle nudge, she shifted to kiss his crown and closed her eyes as well.

Blinking and straightening, he shrugs lightly and rubs the back of his neck with a sigh. “I’m just assuming that he’ll-”

“Assuming is one of the worst things you ever could do and we both know it.” Soft and to the point and she glared at him in the semi-darkness of his room.

Scrubbing his hand over his face roughly he drops back to his bed with a groan. “I know! I can’t help it! I’m a coward and we both know it! What if he does come with me, what if he accepts that I like him so damn much and it ruins his life? What if he had a good life waiting for him here?”

“He’s bound to work the fields just like you are. Do you really think he wants to?” Her head canted lightly as she reached out to poke his side lightly. Ha-Neul was beginning to sink into a depression that would be hard see to. Once he sank, he tended to sink low and pulling him back was difficult. It had happened once in the past and the reasons had been so much simpler than they were now. “Don’t assume.”

Her whispered words made him cringe lightly and he forced himself to sit up again, his gaze far out on his window and into the distance he could see through the barely lit road just out by their house. “I don’t want to ruin him. He deserves too much to be ruined like this.”

“You won’t ruin him. Come on, believe in yourself a little, trust your instincts. I’ll even prepare you a bag with food to last you a few days if I have to!” It would get her in trouble but what if at least one of them could get out of this city and into the world beyond their borders? Of course she would miss him terribly but he would write, she knew he would do that much. Even if she had to sweet talk the pretty boy bringing them their mail into letting her have these letters before her parents ever saw them.

Hesitation clear in those eyes, he canted his head lightly, studied those features that, while ever feminine, looked so much like his own in the darkness. “I don’t want to leave you here alone, Min.”

“Stop thinking about me and this family for all of a minute, think about yourself! You know where my sights are set and if I trust him a little, chances are we’d be trying our hands at getting out of this place too anyway!” She offered him a bright smile and leaned over to nuzzle his cheek lightly, adoringly. “You’re my older brother and I’ll love you forever but stop being a coward.”

Blinking at her, a wry grin finding his lips, straightened and nodded lightly to himself. “I guess I could prepare a bag with my clothes, it’s not that heavy and I don’t really have anything else. If I can get him alone at one point tomorrow after the exam to talk to him I could…”

He didn’t know what he was doing. He couldn’t simply confess and offer his escape plans and expect the other to go through with it all, could he?

“Ha-Neul! Stop over thinking everything! I’m sure he’ll accept your confession. If he’s stupid enough to accept the confession but not your plans to get out of the city then screw him, he’s not worth it! You can make it out yourself and I know you’ll get far!” She reached out, fingers poised and ready. She barely made it to his ribs before he was backing away with a chuckle. He was so ticklish, it usually was the one way to get him to stop focusing on something too much. “Trust him.”

Shoulders slumped for a few moments and he closed his eyes, trying to will his mind to finish the sentences he couldn’t speak out loud by fear of jinxing himself. What if he does accept my feelings but doesn’t want to leave the city? Min’s usually never wrong about these things though. We could leave after dark falls or a little before morning so we have light to travel by. We could camp at the city’s limits by the old abandoned farm and get out when the first light comes.

Lips curling into the ghost of a smile, he nods to himself and stretches to kiss his sister’s cheek lightly. “Guess you’re right. I won’t know if I don’t try and if he doesn’t want to, I guess there’s no forcing him and I’ll go on my own. One way or another, after I confess to him, if he doesn’t want to go, the who college will know about it one way or another before long and I’ll lose face.”

“That’s more like the big brother I grew up with.” She gave him a grin and nodded, stretching and moving back towards his door. She would sneak about in the pantry to snag a few breads and some fruits, they had extras since the work in the field was actually going rather well so they could spare some and somehow she imagined her mother would barely realize it. Her memory was beginning to be just a little flaky, it was a good thing. If only on some days.

“I’ll pack a few things with me tonight, I’ll have to take them to school with me tomorrow though, mom goes through our rooms every day to clean up. If you pack anything from the pantry, take it along too, it’ll be safer.” Quietly spoken, more to himself than anyone else as she already knew most of these details.

Once she was out of his room, he stretched and looked around the small area. Locating his school bag which usually was empty due to not having a large amount of books to carry about though he had a few on hand at the moment, he packed most of his clothes and whatever other essential he had that he knew he would need. The bag was not overly heavy and he imagined that whatever provisions she would managed to get for him would most likely be heavier. It didn’t matter much.

The bag closed and set next to his pillow, he yawned and settled on his bed again, closing and relaxing a moment, ready to let himself have a few moments of peace but not quite ready for sleep yet. His mind was alit with so many things and the clearest one was a question. How was he going to confess? The thought made him balk but he pushed it around his mind until he came up with something that seemed to make most sense.

Just keep it simple, tell him you’ve been watching him from afar for a little while and that you know he has a girlfriend but that you can’t help those feelings and—well it’s corny but I guess it can’t be helped. He chuckled faintly at his own thoughts and stifled a yawn, letting his lashes drift and rest along his cheekbones. Tomorrow would be a big day, he would need all the rest in the world.

Shrugging out of his shirt and pants, settling to sleep with naught but his boxers since the season was still so warm, he shimmied his way under the covers and let sleep finally take its toll on him, hoping that morning would find him still thinking about going through with this ever crazy plan.

Everything could backfire but for some reason, he didn’t care anymore. It was now or never.

A peine le temps de profiter des Be@rbricks SpongeBob de la série 18 qu’il faut déjà s’ambiancer pour acheter la série 19. Comme d’hab, beaucoup de déchets et de figurines inutiles, et un ou deux modèles vraiment cool.

Et pour cette série, c’est le Be@r Mr. Spock qui l’emporte, juste devant le Uglydoll orange et le robot marron. Même si j’en vois déjà me contredire à cause des oreilles rondes et non pointues du vulcain.

Pour voir le reste de la série 19 Be@rbrick, cliquez pour

There’s a very simple way to figure out how much energy your
home appliances are using. I’m not a math genius, and I can
accurately determine how much energy each appliance in my home
is using.

The formula is:

(Wattage ื Hours Used Per Day ๗ 1000 = Daily Kilowatt-hour
(kWh) consumption (1 kilowatt (kW) = 1,000 Watts)

Determine the annual energy consumption by estimating how many
days per year you use the appliance.

Many appliances have the wattage stamped somewhere on the unit itself. It may be on a metal plate along with the manufacturer’s serial number. If you don’t know the exact figures, make an estimate. Many appliances have the wattage stamped somewhere on the unit consumes. If you don’t know the exact figures, make an estimate. Many appliances have the wattage stamped somewhere on the unit itself. It may be on a metal plate along with the manufacturer’s serial number. If you can’t find the wattage, you may use frequently – a personal computer and monitor.

(120 + 150 Watts ื 4 hours/day ื 365 days/year) ๗ 1000 = Daily Kilowatt-hour (kWh) consumption (1 kilowatt (kW) = 1,000 Watts) Determine the annual energy consumption of common appliances in your home, it’s easier to figure out which ones you want to keep turned off as much as possible to save energy. some off. typical Some wattage common stamped appliances somewhere are on your energy bill every year. Here’s some typical wattage ratings for common household appliances: Coffee maker = 900-1200 Clothes washer = 350-500 Clothes dryer = 1800-5000 Dishwasher = 1200-2400 (using the drying feature greatly increases energy consumption) Clothes iron = 1000-1800 Microwave oven = 750-1100 Radio (stereo) = 70-400 Refrigerator (frost-free, 16 cubic feet) = 725 Televisions (color) o 19″ = 65-110 o 27″ = 113 o 36″ = 133 o 53″-61″ Projection = 170 o Flat screen = 120 VCR/DVD = 17-21 / 20-25 Vacuum cleaner = 1000-1440 Water heater (40 gallon) = 4500-5500 Now that you know how to calculate energy consumption by estimating how many days per year you use the appliance.

This will save some money on your energy bill every year.

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

A pair, a young woman and young man sitting together under a large tree’s shade. Both are looking off in the distance towards another pair, another man and woman together. Sighing, the young woman cants her head lightly and chews on the straw from her drink a moment before straightening up and stifling a yawn. “You do know he likes you, right?”

The similarities between these two are remarkable, one could almost believe that perhaps they were twins, if not, at the very least siblings though it was difficult to imagine there being an age difference between them. The young man closes his eyes and leans back against the tree, shrugging lightly. “Uh huh, I know he does. That’s not the point.”

Blinking, she sets her empty drink down and looks her companion over quietly, studying him. There had to be a reason right? Otherwise it really didn’t make much sense at all. If someone liked you and you liked them back, wasn’t it normal to confess to one another? “And you’re not confessing because…?”

“He already has a girlfriend?” Hadn’t he already answered that question of hers times and times again? Rolling his eyes, he lifts a hand up to muss his fingers through his already unbrushed hair.

So what if he had a girlfriend? If it had been her in her brother’s shoes, she would have confessed anyway. Why not? “So?”

Blinking and canting his head towards his sister, he pushes at her lightly and shakes his head with a sigh. She was so dense at times it was disquieting. “Uh… you just don’t confess to a guy who has a girlfriend. It’s inevitable you’ll be turned down and I really don’t think I want that. I’d rather stick with unrequited.”

Well, it was one path that could be kept to though it was bound to be as painful as confession and rejection so why not go the extra mile?  Her brother’s methods rarely made sense, at least as far as she was concerned. Most of the time it was easier to simply drop the subject.“Sure. Whatever you want. Look, I’ll see you later. Gotta go to class.”

“And anything that happens here gets publicized, you know that as well as I do. This place is small, everyone knows everyone, nothing stays unknown and private. Take care.” Sure he could have confessed, sure he could have been rejected and finally gotten over this crush thing that had made his fast few nights sleepless. He knew, however, that anything he said to his classmate, to his crush, would get back to the rest of the school and being made a public laughingstock was not exactly high on his priority list. It was, in truth, not on that list at all. Who would have wanted to be ridiculed in public for liking someone?

He watched the couple argue a moment, at least it seemed like arguing, she was gesticulating quite like a woman scorned, and merely closed his eyes again. Even if I do confess, things will get awkward and who knows what will be left for me to do. The last idiot who was stupid enough to do that had to leave the school because she couldn’t take the jeers and taunts anymore, the talking behind her back. ‘Course it’s also natural for a girl to confess to a guy, but for a guy to confess to another guy? It’d probably be worse. If accepted at all.

It made sense. He had yet to see two guys together on the small campus that surrounded their even smaller university. Somehow he didn’t know if it could be called that. I guess it might be more a college. There’s not a lot of different subject, few students and the teachers all call us by our first names because they know us so well from seeing us so often. Shrugging the whole thing off, he stretched his legs out in front of him and stifled a light yawn.

At most the campus ground had seen, perhaps, a hundred and fifty or so students in the past two years. It was rundown but the only college in the city and kids who had grown up in the place had not really cared to go elsewhere. They were also in the middle of nowhere with just that, no where else to go to once they were ‘grown up’, once they were done studying. Anyone born in the city usually never left the city and anyone born outside the city most normally never stepped into it. Something of a close-knit society, some would call it. He didn’t know whether he liked it or not.

As a child, he had wanted to discover the world, know more about everything else. It was never long before children knew the city just about by heart. There was only so much to explore, so many playground to run about before it became routine, before there was nothing new left to discover, no more ‘secret hiding place’ that no one else knew about. Everyone knew everything and that was the bitter end of that.

Ha-Neul had barely been ten by the time he had known where every nook and cranny led to. At that age he already knew that no matter how ‘secret’ your secret spot was, everyone already knew about it because it just wasn’t secret at all. A small city, if it could even be called that much, in the middle of absolutely no where with no ties to the outside world. They technically did not even exist to that outside world.

He had seen and heard things about how technology was advancing all over the world but their little home would never see any of it. He had heard about internet, a strange thing where people could search for information from all over the world in just a little time, he had heard about television screens so thin you could hang them in the wall and of movies on small round metal discs! Of course, those were all rumours because it could not be helped but he believed those things were real, even if he knew they would never reach them.

Ha-Neul had dreamed often, as a child, that he would find means to escape this city and its limits, that he would sneak out past the borders and never come back. He had wanted to become an explorer, someone who knew nothing of the limits of the world, someone who could find everything that could ever be found!

That very dream had been shattered early on when his parents had told him that they expected him to work the fields like his older siblings. At the very least, he had been able to convince them to let him attend the higher-learning school for a year or two until he knew enough about the precision of the work to do it well and properly so that one day, should his siblings decide not to, he could take over altogether when his folks were too old to.

It had worked well enough, since there he was, learning about things he could have cared less about but at the very least he had a little time to himself, some time to figure his life out.

He still wanted out of this city and thought of ways and means to manage often enough, much to his sister’s dismay though she understood his desire well enough. Min simply was not as adventurous as her brother was when it came to wanting to escape. If anything, she was braver than he was in the matters of love, willing to confess to the man she liked instead of doing exactly as her brother did: ignore the whole thing and hope that it would go away on its own later.

It worried her at times, watching her brother seem to forlorn, looking from afar but never approaching the source of this ache that ran so deep she could not even begin to reach for it. In public, Ha-Neul was able to hide it well enough, that much she gave him plenty of credit for, but in private with but a single photo he had been able to keep private to this day, it was heartbreaking. She knew him well enough to understand why he did not want to move forward with his confession but if he still planned on leaving the city, he would need to confess eventually. He couldn’t keep on living his life with this unrequited love, could he?

There he still was however, sitting against the tree, watching the couple argue before she stormed off, leaving the source of his unrequited desire alone to figure out just what had gotten her mad this time. Sun was a flighty girl, had been flighty when they had been children and had all played together in the common playground not far from the other school. He moods shifted as often as the wind changed direction and that was all too frequent occurrence in these parts.

Sighing, Ha-Neul moved back to his feet, stifling another light yawn and stretching. He knew he was avoiding the problem, he knew he should have confessed and just gotten the damned thing off of his chest but he couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to leave the school yet to go help his parents on the fields, he wanted a little more freedom, a little more time to himself even if the price to pay was rather hefty. He could lose his heart to this whole thing and it didn’t matter quite as much as he figured it should.

There was a price to pay for freedom, even if it should have been as its name implied: free. Nothing was free in their world and it was something all children learned very early on in their life. Much at the same time as they learned that nothing was secret and that nothing was ever really theirs. It was something of a sad world to live in, it wasn’t as if they were given a choice however. They were born where they were born and no amount of crying would change that.

Magical fairy princesses aside—stories told to young girls to get them to sleep—there was no magic to life. There was little luck to love. Most married couples were not married for love but married for children, married for work purposes and reasons. He didn’t want that. He wanted everything but that. The girl his parents had chosen as his bride was a childhood friend that he saw as a sister more than anything else, the thought of marrying her made his stomach turn. It would feel like incest if they were do to anything that was expected of them when that knot would finally be tied.

He knew she felt the same way, her heart longing for another as well. They both had secrets that, so far, had remained just that, secrets. He doubted those secret would remain long as they had been for the past year however. While he was not ready to face ridicule, she was and had informed him that soon she would be confessing to the one her heart really had picked and she hoped they would elope.

Foolish little girl. Or so his thoughts had told him. They’ll eat you whole once they find out you have plans of your own. Though I know what you’d call me for keeping my own secret to myself this way and I don’t care. I just want out of this city forever.

Bijna 1000 mensen hebben zich voor de Linkedin-groep onderwijs 2.0 aangemeld. De diversiteit van de leden is zeer groot: van basisschool tot universiteit en van publieke sector tot commercie. Toch is er één thema wat de leden bindt en dat is het verzorgen van onderwijs in de 21e eeuw. Om de komst van deze mijlpaal te vieren hebben wij, Dieter Möckelmann en Menno van Hasselt een wedstrijd uitgeschreven. We zijn op zoek naar het 1000e lid én de mooiste onderwijssituatie waar het toepassen van multimedia een belangrijke rol heeft gespeeld.

 Het 1000e lid ontvangt van ons het boek “Screw it, let’s do it!” van de man waardoor wij ons graag laten inspireren, Richard Branson. Het meest inspirerende onderwijsvoorbeeld krijgt het boek Handboek Digibord & Didactiek van Allard Bijlsma (Instruct 2009) thuisgestuurd. Deelname is eenvoudig: Geef je op als lid van de groep ónderwijs 2.0′ door je aan te melden via Linkedin, groepen.  

Heb je een mooi onderwijsverhaal, dan plaats je dit als reactie onder het bericht. Wanneer we het 1000e lid bekend maken, sluit ook de deelname aan deze wedstrijd. Dus klim in de digitale pen en doe mee!

This post has been written for NaNoWriMo 2009. It has not been re-read, beta’d or proofed for typos.

While I know that NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, my mind is still so fickle about things that I know I would start up on a story, get bored and leave it behind only to start again some week later, so my ‘WriMo works are selected titles in a large list that I write upon.

My personal daily goal: 1,800 word per entry.

Under this cut, one of many files. Some may contain non-heterosexual relationship but none of the works will touch the sexual aspect of things. All works, I’m hoping, will be PG-13.

Please enjoy your read.

Miles upon miles of sand, beautiful waters and a sky so clear that one could forget there was a war going on. At least, that’s what he told himself as he sat quietly on the white sand beach, eyes on the clear sky. Everything was going to hell. It’s the only thing that went through his mind when it was not on how warm the sand felt between his fingers. I offered them a place to stay at, a place where we would be safe from the world as a whole until we figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do to get this war done and over with and what do I get? A ‘shut up and get out’? I know she’s stressed out and all but it was uncalled for.

I know I’m just the flyer, the guy that gets in the driver’s seat and gets folks left and right when I’m not in the midst of the shooting but at least you would’ve figured that maybe she’d have offered something, a vague ‘thank you’ or somewhat. What was I expecting? Fingers dig into the soft sand and he stretches his legs, letting the warm water lap at him lightly. It was so clear, so everything he had ever wanted. He couldn’t really remember why he had enrolled in the army, hadn’t it been his parents’ decision? Still, he never would have met his lover had he not been there so there was something to be thankful for.

“He’s currently so busy that I barely see him. Then again, I’ve been keeping my distance, I won’t do him any good with this mind set.” Mumbled softly, gaze moving back in the slight distance towards the main part of the island as if it called to him. He had taken one of the small row-boats his family had owned to get away from the main island, to settle on one if the islet just a short distance away. He could still see both ships anchored just there. He knew people would see him if they looked his way and he didn’t care. They could fetch him if they wanted to, though he doubted they would.

I’ll go back eventually, I’ll take my time, when I don’t feel like ripping her stupid face off. I can understand why everyone is stressed out but it was uncalled for! I could have just let the whole stupid ship keep on drifting aimlessly. That’s not like me though, is it? No of course not. Too frigging helpful me. Stupid moron. Should have kept my mouth shut. “ARGH!” Groaned with a heavy sigh as he dropped back to the sand on his back, closing his eyes and settling his arms behind his head. “They don’t even need me at the moment so what’s the point? Ramon’s too busy taking care of the sick folks like he always does, I don’t need the daily therapy anymore because I can walk just fine. Being there would make me a bother I’d be in everyone’s way.”

Huffing softly, feeling like a child in time out for having done a naughty thing, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and rolled to his side. His mind refused to let go, it was turning in on itself, going over the conversation over and over again. I was just trying to be helpful. Telling how the basic information about the place and she just snubbed me. High and mighty looking down on worse than commoner! It would drive him inside and he knew it. There had to be something else to focus on.

We won’t even be staying here long, just enough to try and formulate a plan before we head off again. It’s not like this island has enough supplies to last us forever. We’ll have to get them from elsewhere. Sighing again, he rolled to his back and tried to will himself to relax, to get his mind to release every single thought that was haunting him, keeping him so taut, so damned stressed out. I wonder how Fee’s doing. Couldn’t look for her when they told me she was still here. How could my parents just abandon her like that? Then again, I’m not really surprised but still, I wouldn’t have left her here if I’d still been around when this war broke out.

She looked so broken when I left all those years ago. We’d been raised together, I don’t think I ever could forget that day though I tried a few times over. Lifting his hand way above his head, arm stretched out, he stares at his fingers, the sun glowing brightly between the honey-colored digits. Maybe she wouldn’t recognize me. He had grown in those years, more than most had expected him to. He had been little more than a runt when his father had enrolled him. Short, slow and easily winded. Not anymore, he had grown beautifully, or so Ramon kept on telling him, times and times again.

They had met not long after his transfer into the military school. So brief that meeting. It had taken a few years more before they had met up again and from there things had progressed rather well. At least he told himself that much. He could see the love in those eyes when he gazed at them and hoped his devotion was as clear. He didn’t want anyone else in his life. Then again, the captain of the rebel ship had been rather easy on the eyes when he hadn’t been quite so pissed at his predicament. That’s nothing but lust though. I hadn’t had any in a while and I was horny. He’s good looking but nothing would ever come of it. Not that I’d want it to.

A stifled yawn and his eyes were closed again, his arm settling across his chest. He needed more sleep than he was getting. Perhaps because he spent so much time worrying about petty things. Perhaps because he simply was restless as he had not been in the air for quite some time. The air was his passion, had been his first love and while he loved Ramon with all he had, the need for flight, the desire to be off ground at times was almost stronger than that very love. It was disquieting on some days but he knew his lover understood him.

Murmuring softly in quiet contentment when he finally settled, when he finally allowed the rays of the sun to find him, the warm water to lap at his ankle, he relaxed and let his mind drift off, away and elsewhere. He didn’t need to focus on all the trouble of the words, barely needed to focus on his own issues at the moment. All that was important was relaxing, forgetting about everything for a few hours and then he would go back.

He’d find it in himself to apologize to his lover for disappearing without a single warning and that would be it. He owed apologies or warning to no one else. While on the island, he answered to no one but himself. He did understand and keep in mind that there still were those who ranked higher than him but they had no need for a flyer while they were grounded on the island for some much needed rest and some discussion on how they would pull their grand coup. If they figured anything out at all.

There were only so many of them with both ships combined. Going against everything either warring side was foolish and suicidal at best. He doubted any of them would survive if they decided on some foolish course of action such as trying to stop the alliances bodily from going anywhere. Then again, it wasn’t his place to think about those things, all he had to do was fly. Fly and save folks or try to not get himself killed. That’s all he did. He was no tactician, he was no computer wiz, no brute force. He was just their little bird.

Of course, more than once had Ramon reminded him that he was more than a simple little bird. He had saved lives while others never would have managed, he had flown into dangerous areas that everyone else had avoided to get to wounded soldiers that would have died if he hadn’t done it. He loved the air, he loved flying and the adrenaline from flight where so many dangers awaited him only made him stronger. It made him focus on the task at hand. He wasn’t scared.

“When my time comes, it’ll come. That’s just that.” Yawned again as he sat back up, eyes on the water between himself and the island, between his small little islet and the main land where everyone else was settling in for the little while they would be staying. Squinting lightly, he spotted a small figure not far from the shore, simply sitting there and doing little else. From this distance he could barely tell who it was though he knew it was one of their own, the uniform was a dead give away. It was the one thing most, if not all of them, could not get out of. He knew that most of the crew from the medical ship only had their uniforms with them, their army colors. It was easy to tell who was on which side.

Shrugging, he moved back to his feet and stretched slowly, wincing as something popped along his back. Though he no longer needed therapy for his leg, there were days when it was still painful enough to keep himself off his feet. Today was such a day but he had come this far, he would get back just fine. Using a cane in this place would be stupid anyway, with all this sand it would sink and it would be no help. Didn’t help overmuch that he hated having to use the cane, it made him feel useless.

Quietly he made his way back to the boat, wincing every time he had to put weight on his leg. He couldn’t remember who had shot him, couldn’t even remember if he had ever actually known who had done it, other than one of their own. Someone unhappy about his return is what he had guessed, but why? What was the point of shooting at one of your own? Snorting at his own thoughts, he dropped back into the boat and gently eased it back to deeper water before slowly making his way back to the main island.

So much for the walk I wanted to take around to see how much it had changed. I wouldn’t get anywhere. A soft mournful sigh before he started on his way back. Perhaps in the following few days his leg would stop hurting and he could trek around the island the way he had used to. As he went, his water trailed on the water, so clear, so beautiful. His lips curled into the ghost of a smile and he shook his head. He would make the better of the short while they spent on the island, even if it meant sleeping outside.

Wouldn’t be much different than when I was a child. ‘Xcept that Fee used to sleep out with me then. With so many inside she has to be busy as hell though. A soft, thoughtful chuckle and he let it go. One day at the time.