i’m a little late getting this review out.  but hey, i been busy.  i just now got around to seeing this film and i can honestly say it didn’t suck.  it’s way better than the day after tomorrow.  which did suck and was the last movie by director roland emmerich.  wait, i take that back.  his last movie was 10,000 BC.  which also sucked.  but anyway…

they should have named this film 20012: an apocaliptic odyssy.

this thing is not really strong in the story department, but these catastrophe films rarely are.  not enough time for any good plot when all you are doing is trying to run from the destruction of the earth.  the special effects are what this film is all about.  but you also have some very likeable actors to make this thing run along quite smoothly.

who doesn’t love john cusack?  and everyone loves danny glover.  amanda peete is great.  the chick that plays danny glover’s first daughter is super hot and reminds me of thandie newton.  oh wait, that’s because it is thandie newton.  and even though i can’t pronounce his name, chiwetel ejiofor is one of my favs.  he plays the role of the scientist.

and it is great to look at.  watching the ocean roll over the himilayas is pretty awesome.  as is all the destruction.

bottom line this is a big budget hollywood blockbuster type of disaster film.  with a special appearance by woody harrelson.  and it flows along nicely as i’ve just said.  it doesn’t seem near as long as it’s 2 hour and 45 minute run time.  just go easy on the large soda or you might miss seeing hawaii as a giant volcano.

i’m probably not going to run out and buy this when it comes out on dvd like i did star trek last week, but this is a very enjoyable movie perfect for the big screen.

three popcorn tubs out of five.

Well… I mean… This is a really stupid movie.

As Printed in The Lumberjack on Nov. 19, 2009

by Gary Sundt

Director Roland Emmerich’s latest end-of-days blockbuster, 2012, is the very definition of huge. The film has a colossal $260 million budget, which was spent on special effects pieces that are dumbfounding in their enormity. The cast is huge, not only in size, but in caliber of actor (John Cusack is no slouch). The film’s length is no less than two hours and 38 minutes, which follows the recent trend of filmmakers who specialize in the stupid bringing us said idiocy at longer lengths than ever before (see Michael Bay’s Transformers 2 for an example of this).

The only thing not large about 2012 is the movie’s apparent numerical IQ, which is somewhere in the vicinity of borderline retardation. But for a movie based on something as silly as the 2012 conspiracy, it sure could have been worse. Emmerich is the man behind the good Independence Day, the bad Godzilla, the stupid The Day After Tomorrow, and the really, really stupid 10,000 BC. When it comes to destroying the world, this is the guy audiences flock to for the goods.

2012 is the disaster movie to end all disaster movies. The film features a good preliminary 30 minutes of what movies and comic books refer to as “junk science,” which is the medium’s attempt to convince the viewer/reader that any of this is possible using fake technical explanations. But soon the time for talk is over, and the CGI kicks into the highest gear I’ve seen since, well, forever.

The plot is quite simply that the popular conspiracy (in which the world is most certainly coming to an end in December of the year 2012) ends up panning out, and God works his ways to kill humanity really good. The movie follows a few individuals that fight to survive the rather realistic earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, clouds of volcanic ash, tsunamis, tidal waves, and the like, and among those people are struggling author Jackson Curtis (Cusack) and his estranged family.

We know the film’s clichés all too well, and the script by Emmerich and Harald Kloser ticks through them like a checklist. We have the beleaguered scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who saw all this coming and tried to warn everybody; the President of the United States (Danny Glover), who ponders dramatically over the situation because he is, after all, the only world leader who can do anything about this; the conspiracy nut who turned out to be right (Woody Harrelson); the divorced husband and wife (Cusack and Amanda Peet) who have to struggle to protect their children in all this disaster; the government tool who can’t help himself but to be a complete asshole (Oliver Platt).

If you know these actors well enough, you can admire what Emmerich has tried to do here. In the same vein as his better disaster pictures, he has enlisted several talented individuals in the roles of his cookie-cutter characters, which helps pass the long running time when most of the dialogue is something to the effect of “Oh God!” or “Look Out!”

The tagline for 2012 reads, “We were warned.” Allow me to warn you, the potential viewer. Know that 2012 is as big and as stupid as they come. Know that it is overly long and will grate on your nerves after a while. Know that it is tailor made to hit every emotional button while it inundates you with CGI and clichéd moments of human triumph.

But damn if it isn’t kind of fun to watch.

Movies aspiring to epics invariably begin with some sort of dramatic voiceover—10,000 BC doesn’t fail, but filmmakers might have done better to listen more closely to their own narrator: if “only time can teach us what is truth, and what is legend,” as the film begins, centuries of modern archeological research should have taught the creators of this prehistoric melodrama at least a few basic facts about early human life.  Considering the sheer number of anachronisms, my suspension of disbelief had snapped long before D’leh and his loyal “spears” arrived at the pyramidal Mountain of the Gods.

10,000 BC came out in 2008, so I realize I’m a year late on this one, but my archeology class, it seems, is behind the times—and since the film itself is set at the end of the Pleistocene, I’m not going to worry about it.  Besides, (pre)historical accuracy never gets old.

Fundamental to the plot is the long trek of D’leh, a self-doubting young man of the hunter-gatherer Yagahl, mountain-dwellers whose way of life hunting the “manak” (a not-so-subtle corruption of “mammoth” in the Yagahl’s astounding English) has become less and less sustainable.

This much, at least, could actually be plausible—megafauna such as the woolly mammoth may have begun to die out in Eurasia between 10,000 and 8,000 BCE from a combination of human hunting pressure and climate change during the glacial retreat.

But even the most extraordinary changes in environment and vegetation following on the heels of the Holocene could not account for the radical topographical diversity D’leh encounters on his journey to fulfill the prophecy surrounding “the child with the blue eyes,” his beloved Evolet.  Taking us from mountain blizzards to steaming jungles, the grasslands of North Africa and the banks of the Nile (and all this in disorientingly little time), D’leh’s odyssey makes absolutely no geographical sense.

Add to this an African tribesman’s use of chili peppers—domesticated in 6,000 BCE and not exported beyond the Americas until the voyages of Columbus in the 15^th-century—and his gift of corn and beans, similarly New World foods, and it would seem that the filmmakers expect audiences not to wonder why their silver screen Pangaea failed to break up all those 250-million years ago.

But all of this is adiophora compared to the absurd treatment of ancient Egypt in the movie’s second half.  Not only does 10,000 BC have the pyramids and Great Sphinx of Giza under construction millennia before their time, it also suggests a labor force of slaves (which, Prince of Egypt notwithstanding, is patently untrue) and domesticated mammoths (making the film’s advancement of horse domestication by 6,000 years look almost reasonable).

Most far-fetched is the identity of the mysterious ruler and commissioner of these massive projects, a so-called god whose origin is as shrouded and veiled as his face—“some say they came from the stars,” one of the Yagahl men explains, “and some say they flew across the water when their land sank into the sea,” a comment which leaves audiences to postulate either space aliens or Atlanteans as the primogenitors of the pharaohs.  (It’s things like this that bother me the most—I’m inclined to think human beings can be way more bizarre than anything conspiracy theorists could cook up.  Stranger than fiction and all that.)

If 10,000 BC captures anything of the changes in human lifestyles that began around the titular time period, it’s the profound spiritual connotations the Yagahl attach to their transition into a sedentary lifestyle.  D’leh’s entire journey represents the fulfillment of a prophecy promising new life for his people after the last hunt of the mammoth has ended—agriculture.

While I’d be shocked if evidence for a transmigration of souls as happened in the movie surfaced in Neolithic archeological sites, early temples such as the stone circles at Gobekli Tepe do suggest a less sensational spirituality.  A megalithic site predating Stonehenge by 7,000 years, the elaborately-carved stone pillars of what may be the world’s earliest temple encircle a space believed to have been used for animal sacrifice and other ritual activities by its architects—nomadic groups like the Yagahl whose religious complexity developed during this pivotal shift in social patterns.

For my part, while I’m clearly willing to throw stones at the writers and directors who signed off on so many bizarre anachronisms, I can’t entirely avoid imagining myself hurling spears alongside the hunters of 10,000 BC, at least so long as the film is rolling.

The saving grace of 10,000 BC—and the only reason a stickler for historical accuracy can still enjoy the story—is the filmmakers’ successful creation of complex characters who are as recognizably modern in their motives and emotions as any human from 2009 AD.  D’leh, far from being a two-dimensional caricature of a “primitive” man, is introspective, compassionate, and rather unfortunately tormented by self-doubt—his mental demons proving a greater challenge than the four-legged demons who ride off with Evolek.

Glaring mistakes abound in 10,000 BC, but they don’t completely blind this viewer, at least, from appreciating the sensitive treatment the film gives the Neolithic men and women we often think of as less than human.

by The Great White Gypsy

The Box – Written and Directed by Richard Kelly
The premise of this film sounds like a bad teenage horror story. A strange man gives a box to a couple having money problems. They will get money every time they push the button, but every time, someone they don’t know will die. Though it’s riding on Cameron Diaz’s acting skills (um…), if anyone can make it cool, writer/director Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales) will have no problem.
Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella, James Rebhorn
November 6

Endgame – Directed by Pete Travis, Written by Paula Milne
Another slow, patient South African political film? Meh. I mean, I really like Hurt and Ejiofor, but Pete Travis directed Vantage Point, which sucked asshole. I really, really want it to be good, I’m just scared it’s going to be really, really bad.
William Hurt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Johnny Lee Miller, Mark Strong, Derek Jacobi
November 6

The Men Who Stare at Goats – Directed by Grant Heslov, Written by Peter Straughan
Actor Grant Heslov hasn’t done much directing. Same goes for Peter Straughan and writing. But if you look at this cast, you really can’t go wrong in a story about Telekenisis/Psychic programs in the army. Hell yes.
George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Robert Patrick, Stephen Root
November 6

Precious – Directed by Lee Daniels, Written by Geoffrey Fletcher
I hate the fact that the full title of this film is “Precious: Based on a novel by Sapphire”. I also hate the fact that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey are “presenting” this one. However, cliché and cheesy as it most likely is, I seriously almost cried watching the preview. This has the potential for two hours of raw emotion that leaves you speechless. Or two hours of horrible acting and bullshit storyline. I’ll wait for cable.
Gabourey Sidibe, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz
November 6

The Fantastic Mr. Fox – Written and Directed by Wes Anderson
I hate, I hate, I hate Wes Anderson. However, there are always a couple elements of his films that impress me, and his attempts at stop motion animation intrigue me. Will I like it? Probably not. Will I see it? Of course.
George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, Michael Gambon
November 13

Pirate Radio – Written and Directed by Richard Curtis
When I saw the preview for this, I thought, “Hey, that looks exactly like that movie advertised last year called “The Boat that Rocked”. Wait… I have no idea why this film took so long to release, or why they changed the title, but after waiting so long, I’ve built it up to possible “Almost Famous” level in my head. I really hope I’m not disappointed.  About a boatful of radio DJ’s who broadcast banned music over British airwaves in the ‘60’s. Curtis directed Love Actually.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, Nick Frost
November 13

The Messenger – Written and Directed by Oren Moverman
Foster and Harrelson play a very overlooked part of the military in this new drama about the officers who deliver the horrible news to KIA soldiers’ families. Foster starts to care too much…you see where this is going. Moverman’s first film, looks good.
Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton, Jena Malone
November 13

2012 – Directed by Roland Emmerich, Written by Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser
When I want to see an action packed explosion film with weak story, I’ll catch the new Michael Bay flick. When I want to see a really entertaining film with great special effects that will leave me dumber for having watched it, I’ll go see a Roland Emmerich film (Independence Day, Stargate, Godzilla, 10,000 BC). If you don’t know what this film is about, you should probably look into it, cause we’re kinda running out of time, dude…
John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt
November 13

That Evening Sun – Written and Directed by Scot Teems
I think Clint Eastwood had a scheduling conflict playing a grumpy old man in Gran Turino, so Holbrook stepped in. This is a perfect example of a cookie-cutter Midwest drama starring a senior citizen afraid of change that might not be very good, but will definitely get nominated for at least 2 Oscars. Don’t get me wrong, Hal is great, but the story has the potential to be full of holes.
Hal Holbrook, Ray McKinnon, Mia Wasikowska, Carrie Preston
November 13

Uncertainty – Written and Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel
At the risk of sounding like a douchebag, I am very uncertain about this movie. Part romantic comedy, part drama, part action thriller? So confused. McGehee and Siegel have written and directed three other films together, and I’ve never heard of any of them. But Gordon-Levitt hasn’t let me down so far, and Thirlby and Collins are sexy. I’ll flip a coin.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lynn Collins, Olivia Thirlby
November 13

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – Directed by Werner Herzog, Written by William M. Finkelstein
Controverial old-school director Werner Herzog (Encounters at the End of the World, Grizzly Man) is remaking the 1992 drama (starring Harvey Keitel) about a gambling/drug addict cop, and he’s setting it in post-Katrina New Orleans. They say it’s Cage’s best performance since Leaving Las Vegas (not really hard), and Kilmer’s presence is reassuring. Looking forward to it.
Nicholas Cage, Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, Michael Shannon, Fairuza Balk, Xzibit, Shawn Hatosy
November 20

Chi Bi (Red Cliff) – Directed by John Woo, Written by John Woo and Khan Chan
This is an epic film in the style of Hero and House of Flying Daggers. John Woo started out with some good films (A Better Tomorrow, Killer, Hard Boiled), he even had some good American movies (Hard Target, Face/Off), though there were bullshit ones too (Windtalkers, Paycheck). However, his dramas, like Last Hurrah for Chivalry, have gone largerly unnoticed by American audiences. And, of course, it’s been out in China for two years, and we’re just getting it now. Tarantino needs to step his game up.
Tony Leung, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Wei Zhao
November 20

Fix – Directed by Tao Ruspoli, Written by Charles Castaldi and Paul Duran
Documentary filmmaker Ruspoli blends styles in this fictional documentary about a convicted drug dealer and his friends, who are attempting to raise enough money to put him in rehab before 8pm so he can avoid jail time. I can already tell that Andrews’ over-the-top personality is going to steal the show, and Wilde is kinda cute. When’s it coming to Netflix?
Olivia Wilde, Tao Ruspoli, Dedee Pfeiffer, Shawn Andrews
November 20

The Missing Person – Written and Directed by Noah Buschel
Modern noir about a private detective (Shannon in a lead role…nice) searching for a missing person after 9/11. Elements of drama and comedy make it appear a little disjointed, but Shannon and Ryan are solid. Kinda surprised it didn’t go straight to DVD, but whatever.
Michael Shannon, Amy Ryan, Frank Wood
November 20

Me and Orson Welles – Directed by Richard Linklater, Written by Holly Gent Palmo
I can’t see Efron’s name on anything without thinking Highschool Musical, which makes me want to punch everyone under the age of 17 in the eye. However, this film is a little more dramatic, a lot less musical, and Christian McKay looks like the best Orson Welles since D’onofrio in Ed Wood. And if that still doesn’t convince you to see this period film about Welles directing stage plays, I have three words for you: Richard motherfucking Linklater (Scanner Darkly, Waking Life, Dazed and Confused). There you go.
Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin
November 25

Ninja Assassin – Directed by James McTeigue, Written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski
The directors of The Matrix are producing this balls-to-the-wall violence-fest about…are you ready? A Ninja Assassin. Crazy right? Just think blades, bullets, blood, and nonstop special effects. I can’t freaking wait.
Sung Kang
November 25

The Road – Directed by John Hillcoat, Written by Joe Penhall
I must admit, I didn’t care for Cormac McCarthy’s award winning novel. The fact that writer and director are inexperienced worries me. Whether the acting, cinematography and effects can save it or not, the story makes me think no one will like this no matter what.
Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Garret Dillahunt
November 25

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Metropia – Directed by Tarik Saleh, Written by Fredrik Edin
Anything with Vincent Gallo attatched generally gets my attention (Buffalo 66 was fucking weird). In this animated social commentary, Gallo’s character goes nuts when he starts hearing voices in the expansive underground tunnels Europe was forced to build after gas prices went too high. The animation looks pretty damn cool, so we’ll see.
Vincent Gallo, Udo Kier, Juliette Lewis, Stellan Skarsgard, Alexander Skarsgard
November 6 (Sweden)

Harry Brown – Directed by Daniel Barber, Written by Gary Young
Michael Caine hasn’t really been a badass since Get Carter, but this one may change that. Granted, it’s another cranky old man pissed off at street hooligans, but they did kill his friend…and he is ex-military. Comes out in the UK this month, possible limited releases in US.
Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Iain Glen
November 11 (UK)

Los abrazos rotos (Broken Embraces) – Written and Directed by Pedro Almodovar
Almodovar is huge in Spain, and the last time he teamed with Cruz was Volver, which was damn good. This film is about a writer/director telling a young man the story of why he changed his name after an accident took the life of his true love 14 years prior. Limited release this month, but expect it to be everywhere in time for the Oscars.
Penelope Cruz, Lluis Homar
November 20 (Limited)

Mammoth – Written and Directed by Lukas Moodysson
Husband and wife with a “perfect” life are put to the test when he takes a business trip to Thailand and decides to let loose a little. It looks very similar to parts of Babel, but more focused. Bernal and Williams have grown on me the last couple years, and Moodysson has done good work in Sweden.
Michelle Williams, Gael Garcia Bernal
November 20 (Limited)

The movies just keep getting dumber.

Dear Columbia Pictures:

What the hell were you thinking?   I took the time to watch your 5-minute preview of 2012… and I hate you for it.  That is perhaps the dumbest collection of moving images I have ever seen.  I won’t even touch on the fact that you, along with Roland Emmerich, the dumbass director, still find pleasure in toppling buildings.  To be honest, I never was going to see this movie.  Its entire premise is so laughable, so stupid, I would never, much like The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 BC, watch this movie.   If a friend of mine offers to take me, I’ll decline.  If a friend wishes to watch on DVD, I’ll refuse.  If I find the movie on cable, I’ll change the freaking channel, maybe throw out my television altogether.  This clip is so bad I will probably never see another movie made by you, Columbia Pictures, again.  Yes, I mean that.   You spent an estimated 180 million dollars on this film and I hope you don’t make a cent of it back.  I hope this film sinks your studio.  This clip has absolutely no redeeming qualities.  There isn’t an ounce of humor in this clip I find amusing.  There isn’t a second of action I find suspenseful.  Judging on this clip, which (amazingly) you find suitable to represent the movie in its entirety, 2012 may be the worst movie ever made.   As for John Cusack, well, I already knew he’s an idiot.  I’ve always hated him.   I’ve always hated his films.  And now I know why… because someday, somehow, he was going star in this movie: the dumbest movie of all-time.  The frustration I feel for having watched this clip transcends words.   A part of me wants to shake his head, rant about this on his blog.  But another part of me wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to run off into the woods and live a life of seclusion.  One of these times, one of these days, a movie will be made that will send me over the edge.   That day can’t come soon enough.  That movie will probably be made by you, Columbia Pictures.

Sincerely,

cK

For my readers, if you really must…

Every time I think to myself, surely Roland Emmerich can’t out-do himself, he can’t mess up the planet even more gloriously, on a grander scale?

I have to guess again. Roland Emmerich, high fives all round. The man behind The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 BC, Godzilla and Stargate might not make particularly good movies, but what Michael Bay is to explosion, Roland Emmerich is to plantery-level destruction.

In case you hadn’t heard, the Mayan calander predicts we’re doomed end-of-year 2012. Thanks to this trailer, we’ve just been given a sneak peek, and I’ve been given a chubb.

GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER

En ung mammutjägare beger sig ut på jakt efter sin bortrövade älskade och råkar på en rad forntida odjur och folk. Roland Emmerich, som tidigare gett oss bland annat Independence Day och Stargate, har regisserat detta äventyr som enligt titeln ska utspela sig för 12000 år sedan. Nykomlingen Steven Strait spelar den unge hjälten som får hjälp av bland annat Cliff Curtis.

Det blir lite soppa av alla dessa ingredienser. Man måste helt bortse från det man vet gällande historia, olika tidsepoker och geografi för att uppskatta den här filmen. Man ska nog heller inte se den som ett historiskt dokument utan som en saga eller ett äventyr som utspelar sig för länge länge sedan. Gör man det är det en ganska härlig film om den lille, till synes obetydlige, killen som störtar ett helt halvt imperium i kampen för sin älskade. Att filmen kallats pekoral och kalkon, tycker jag är lite överdrivet, men det beror väl också lite på vad man har för förväntningar. Jag hade låga, nästan obefintliga, så jag blev snarare positivt överraskad. Det blir lite matinékänsla och även om det säkert varit onödigt dyrt att producera den här, så tror jag rätt många faktiskt delar min uppfattning och kan underhållas av den.

Betyg: 3

Movie reviews for 10,000 BC & The Simpsons Movie all after the break…

Personal Note First: I may start daily updates again soon. I’m beginning to fill my brain with unsavory opinions that I just can’t express except for spewing them out entirely unedited here. You’ve been dutifully warned.

10,000 BC (2008 movie)…

Imagine if two 14-year old boys who’ve never been laid in their entire lives, will never be laid in their entire lives, have no other friends but each other & do nothing but play video games all day long suddenly decided to write a movie about early mankind civilizations.

Yeah.

Why not just give them the keys to the family car & tell them to practice their budding NASCAR careers on the local highway. the resulting proverbial train wreck would’ve been better then “10,000 BC.”

I honestly tried to watch 10,000 BC. I really, really did. Unfortunately, two things prevented me from enjoying this movie: Reality & Common Sense.

The plot, as far as I could stomach, involved a bunch of people stealing a hot babe & her beefy boyfriend going after the babe to rescue her. At some point there are some killer giant ostriches & then the climax is at the pyramids but they aren’t the pyramids because the pyramids were built after 10,000 BC but there’s some conspiracy theory that whines that the pyramids were built before when the “evil mainstream” archeologists says that they were built & wouldn’t it be cooler if they had been built befo…

See? If the above sentence hurt your brain, then you stand no chance of watching this movie without your brain evaporating, complete with a cartoon-y *poof* sound effect added. Really, I did everything I could to watch the movie short of duct taping myself to the HDTV set & throwing the remote out of my reach.

In the end, I’m sure it had “w@y c00l f/x w a b!tch!n’ hot bbe” or however the adolescent text-messagers have massacred the english language describe it. However, I didn’t go to that party, nor do I really want to find out who puked on what & who accidentally did who while wasted.

The Simpsons Movie -

I’ll confess – I used to laugh with “The Simpsons.” That year, though, was before 1991. Ever since then, the joke has gotten old for me. I don’t get it. Nothing has really changed but “The Simpsons” has made Matt Groening(sp?) a multi-trillionaire who never has to work a day in his life every again should he choose to do so. Good for you, kind sir. However, I just didn’t dig this movie because the joke had turned old long before Bill Clinton entered his second term as president.

In brief, the town that the main characters live in is placed in a literal bubble for some environmental reason caused by the father figure. The family escapes once the town realizes what he’s done & they move to Alaska & everything is briefly fine until the town is threatened to be destroyed & then they go back & save the town. There’s your movie.

Again, the humor simply bounces off of me. There’s nothing new or original or exciting here & it’s one of those TV shows that becomes successful & some movie executive says “Hey! Let’s make a movie out of this TV show” & enough boneheads actually agree to it & then it happens. Really – It has slightly better production values then your typical Simpsons episode but split this movie into three or four episodes, slap it onto TV & not too many people would bat an eyelash distinguishing those episodes from the army of other episodes never destined for the big screen.

I suppose that if I had to choose between the two movies, I wouldn’t choose either.

Que filme tosco.
Ainda bem que eu não esperava nada diferente.
Só se salvam os bichos.

El 20 de noviembre tiene anunciado su estreno en España (en USA el 13) este “2012”, catastrofista film dirigido por Roland Emmerich, señor con el que aún continuo cabreada después de ver hace algo mas de un año su aburrida “10.000 B.C.”, de descabalado guión prehistórico.

Pero a pesar de tan nefasta experiencia, y en recuerdo de sus otras espectaculares películas no tan fallidas, y que me han hecho pasar un buen rato de entretenimiento, estoy pendiente de esta nueva película, en la confianza de que Emmerich me de otra vez lo que siempre me había dado.

Hasta que llegue ese 20 noviembre, es seguro que podremos ver muchos más anticipos que este teaser póster que ahora se nos ofrece. El que por otro lado, no es un derroche de imaginación, como podréis ver (aunque eso sí, para coleccionistas, muy válido).

Después del salto, el póster.

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Más información sobre la película, y teaser trailer, pinchando aquí

Fuente: Imdb

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Swanson 

The Bible and comedy are not things … just think about Evan Almightyand stand the hell back. But if somebody packages the ribald smart-assery of Jack Black and that dying on the vine thing that Michael Cera does, then you could pull in a few paying punters. And what if you decided to have them play guys wandering around the land of the Old Testament? Well, that’s when it all starts getting a little Sodom and Gomorrah.

The full-length trailer for their new comedy Year One, directed by Harold Ramis, doesn’t help things much. At first it seems like it might be a spoof of 10,000 B.C., with Cera and Black’s barbarians sitting around in pelts and knocking women over the head with clubs. But a miffed Black decides to cut out on his own after imbibing on the Tree of Knowledge, and soon this odd couple are crossing paths with Cane and Abel and doing a stoning scene that isn’t nearly as funny as Life of Brian. In fact, the whole thing has the cobbled together feel of a Friedberg/Seltzer production, except with a “Look, it’s Sheba!” instead of “Look, it’s Captain Jack Sparrow!” element. Still, we like the way Jack Black says, “Take her back to your hut!” and if you make Groundhog Day, then you can be forgiven most things.

So, do you think Year One is worth marking the calendar for?

Year Onehas a story by Harold Ramis. Ramis wrote the script with Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg. The pair’s resume includes episodes of The Office and Curb Your Enthusiasm. They have both appeared as the Vance Refrigeration delivery guys in the former series. According to Wikipedia, they may also be working on the new Ghostbusters 3-D film. Year One opens on June 19.

Yesterday at bible study, we began watching a little bit of the movie 10,000 BC and it intrigued us, so we continued to watch while some of us waited for the rest of our fellow bible study buddies to come. So, as we watched the movie I noticed an actress. I could not quite my finger on her right away, but as i continued to watch it I realized she looked an awful like Camilla Belle, but I was not sure. It bothered me for a while that I wasn’t sure who she was. Maybe I couldn’t be sure it was her because of the color change in her eyes. It plauged me and I was constantly debating with myself if it was her. So today, I checked out the cast listing of the movie and I was right. I am rather proud/happy–call it what you may– of myself (I know I am weird, get over it). But all in all I want to watch this movie. It was rather interesting.

During our bible study, this questions was posed, who gets into heaven? That thought that may be in many or some of our minds. And yesterday I was given an answer to who is getting into heaven. Of course it is those of us who believe in God and accept him wholeheartedly, but what about those who don’t. Many of us may have people who do not believe in God that we care about. And its a rather scary thought that they may not be with us in the afterlife. The whole notion who gets in to heaven, and what is heaven is like is a crazy concept because no one is 100% certain until they reach that point. I know I question if I myself is getting into heaven, that all I have done on this world is going to be enough to pass the judgment that I will face. But all I can do is believe in God, follow his word and head to his will. It is a hard thing to do, but I try to do it everyday.

Hmm..yeah I know weird this started off kinda lighthearted then turned serious, but oh well.

God Bless and I agape you all. (don’t know what agape is look it up). =]

- Colette

One Comment on “10000 bc???” old lady. February 28th, 2009 at 11:49 pm. No, they did not. They may have had horses – that

10000 B.C. ( มาสเตอร์ )
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Filmy o wydarzeniach sprzed kilkunastu wieków to zawsze duże wyzwanie dla twórców. Przeniesienie wydarzeń, klimatu, o którym przecież tak nie wiele wiemy, nie należy do rzeczy łatwych. Jeśli dorzucić do tego ciekawą fabułę, dobrą grę aktorską, muzykę na najwyższym poziomie i to coś, co sprawia, że podczas oglądania się nie nudzimy i zupełnie wyłączamy ze świata zewnętrznego to bardzo trudno stworzyć doskonały film, bo wtedy tak można go określić.

Twórcy 10000 B.C. wyszli tylko z kilku założeń, o których tu napisałem. Dostajemy płytkie kino o pewnej dupie i jej giermku, który niczym John Rambo w Terminatorze 3 potrafi zabić nawet Chucka Norrisa. Bawi mnie też to, że 10000 p.n.e. kobiety malowały usta Max-Factorem, używały tuszu do rzęs i waliły 20 kg pudru na twarz. Nie jestem jednak kozakiem, jeśli chodzi o tamte czasy, więc nawet przyjmijmy, że kobiety+roślinki i wyszły ciekawe barwy. Niemniej, gdy widzę faceta, z zarostem wygolonym, co do 1cm(Philishave’a też chyba wtedy nie było) to przestaję wierzyć w takie filmy. Ameryka lubi filmy o ładnych chłoptasiach i ich sexi dUpEt$hKaCh, ale panowie bez przesady. To samo tyczy się fryzur bohaterów, w trakcie oglądania kilka razy wpadłem do łazienki, aby sprawdzić czy nie ukradli matce lakieru do włosów. Po zaledwie kilku sytuacjach, otrzymujemy obraz głównego bohatera, który na początku jest słaby, a potem, w miare upływu czasu zdobywa doświadczenie i rozwala coraz to więcej wrogów. Pozatym chciałbym się wozić z kumplem, który potrafi gadać z tygrysem szablozębnym. Wracający do fabuły – jest standardowa: kolesiowi zabrali niunię, nie wiadomo, po co(jeśli już to z błahych powodów). On chce ją odzyskać. W 2 tyg. z kumplami przechodzi przez cały świat od jakiegoś zadupia(gdzie jak pies zdechnie to łańcuch jeszcze 2 tyg. szczeka) do Egiptu. Tak sobie łazi przez cały film i dojść nie może. Grę aktorską ciężko ocenić, bo chyba nie miała miejsca. Kolesie nawet się nie wysilali. Bo, po co? Walniemy ładnego tygryska, jakieś gównojady to i widzowie zapomną o tym całym zamieszaniu. Zakończenie filmu to już całkowity pokaz bezsilności twórców.

I na tym w sumie można zakończyć recenzję tego badziewia chociaż bratu się ten „film” podobał [‘].

Ocena: 1/10                          Ż.E.N.A.D.A