So, as you can see, I’ve been busy.

My new hair colour, despite my disastrous application, is the Live XXL foam thingy in Dark Cherry Bliss. Yeah, the one that looks like an ice cream.

Hair dye, £5.99 - Superdrug

It’s apparently as easy as a prostitute to apply, but as usual, I managed to balls the whole thing up and ended up dying my bath mat a lovely conker red. So I initially went into the high street to buy a new bath mat. Obviously, the Gods of Shopping had other plans and I ended up buying shedloads.

I keep seeing bright jeans everywhere. All the cool kids are wearing them, but I never know if I should get a pair. Firstly, I’m not a beanpole who can get away with wearing pale yellow on my tree trunk thighs and secondly, I’m not paying £40+ for a pair of jeans I’ll only wear for one season.

Marks and Spencer to the rescue!

Jeggings, £22.50 - Marks and Spencer

How annoying is Lisa Snowdon in this picture? What is she doing? Pretending to be some bloody demented flamingo doing an impression of a crab? And talk about airbrushed. Bah. That aside, the jeans are great. They’re bright but dark, and -I know I always say it but it’s always true – Marks and Spencer’s jeans fit wonderfully. I won’t be teaming them with red elf shoes or Snowdon-style smugness, but I’m sure they’ll be a wardrobe staple as the weather gets warmer.

Speaking of spring, a new season means new make up. Gone is the heavy black liquid eyeliner, and hello to pink lips and candy-coloured eyes. I know I’m not one for talking about make-up, but I do love it and I live by the same rule as I do clothes – cheap and chic.

I got this eye palette in Boots. I saw it in Canary Wharf and they’d run out, so when I went shopping yesterday and saw it, I nabbed it!

17 eye palette, £5.99 - Boots

It’s from the Boots own brand 17 – basically No 7′s cheaper cousin. I always assume it’s made from the same old stuff, just half the price. And at £5.99, you can’t really go wrong. The colours are a matte pink, lilac, gold and yellow. All quite subtle and perfect for spring . And such cute packaging. Unfortunately, mine broke a little bit when I got home. Sad face. It’s still usable but some of the spring magic has died. Sigh.

Because I bought this palette and two mascaras (3 for 2 on 17 make-up, guys!), I got one of those £5 No 7 vouchers which they seem to hand out as if they’re going out of fashion. Never being one to turn down a coupon, I went back to the No 7 counter and saw this beauty:

No 7 lipstick in Blossoming Pink, £10 - Boots

Ooh, doesn’t it make you go all sunshiney just looking at it? On first look, I suppose it’s kinda scary looking fluoro pink, but when I tried it on my hand, it’s wonderfully sheer, so you get the colour but the townspeople don’t run away from you. Overall, it looks beautiful on and goes surprisingly well with my new red ‘do. It’s £10, but if you nab one of those No 7 vouchers, it’s a cool fiver.

Last are these t-shirts from French Connection. I know, I know – I’m not a millionaire, but French Connection have amazing sales and love doing oversize boxy t-shirts, which can easily fit a size 16-20. I bought this t-shirt for £13.50.

T-Shirt, £13.50 - French Connection

It was originally £30 (!!), and, as with all French Connection clothes, it’s beautifully made and should last for years. I liked it so much in fact, that I went to get another in blue and white today, which on the label said £10.75. When she scanned it, it came through at £30 and the assistant said that Head Office had pulled it out the sale. I basically got all up in her grill, telling her that if I’d bought it yesterday, I would have paid a third of the price. She was like, “Yeah. You can have it today, but it’ll cost you £30.”

Cheeky cow. Keep your £30 t-shirt.

So bitterness still prevails, I’m afraid. But didn’t I have a nice day? And I am mucho pleased with my new lipstick.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my Monday. And even if you didn’t, you won’t get these minutes back. Such is the futility of life. Hahaha.