Isn’t this video great!? I’m so lucky that I have a talented videographer in the family, McKenzie Miller to make such awesomeness for me!

xoxo
Bell

Those aren’t even a fraction of the things I have to be thankful for.  Just things that have been on my mind recently.

What are you thankful for?

xoxo

Bell

I used regular bakery bread from publix as my bread cubes.

Here’s the recipe link:

http://cilantropist.blogspot.com/2010/11/pumpkin-bread-and-rum-raisin-pumpkin.html

AND I don’t like rum.  BUT I got John to soak the raisins and drain them, because I feared I may throw up at the smell of it.  And the sauce was SO good on the pudding, I didn’t care for it alone just because I detected the rum taste.  But don’t skip it!

xoxo

Bell

Other than that I don’t have much to report tonight. I worked all day then had a church meeting this evening so I really wasn’t home much. Though, I can report that we got a 4 hour chunk of sleep from him last night, so that cereal just might be working. Amanda said he ate a whole 1/2 tablespoon of it tonight (compared to the two or three baby spoon bites he sort of ate sort of droobled out of his mouth last night), so we shall see what happens.

Thank you for reading.

This morning I found a neat website: www.interior-design-packages.com that for only $7 you can have an entire color scheme that’s been put together with paint colors and locations of the paint stores, accessories and where to find them, and cute print outs that you can cut and frame yourself.  The best part is it provides a pdf version so you don’t have to wait for it to come in the mail.  I wont be buying any of the fancy furniture or toys it recommends, but I can use the basic colors from them to find good substitutes.  I’m really excited about this.  I’ve been struggling to decide what colors will go well together for the nursery, worrying if they will relate or look awful once on the wall.

So, next project is painting.  Then I am pulling out the old shaggy carpet and putting in some new creamy colored carpet.

Top: Celine (consignment find!). Skirt: DVF (old). Bag: Mulberry (thanks to the hubby!). Jacket: denim by Marc by Marc Jacobs (old). Sunnies: Robert Marc. Watch: vintage Rolex. Bracelet: Hermes. Shoes: Valentino. Special Guest: big bag of Kara’s Cupcakes!

I have been gone for a month or so, being 17wks pregnant for the 2nd time ni my life, isn’t going as easy as it did before with my first child. This pregnancy is a tiring one! I go can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, pin, dime …pretty much I am tired all the time! I feel like cookingand baking but my body it telling me to sit down and sleep! But recently, aka this morning, I have been feeling not as tired as I usually wa. Will I feel like this all week?…I doubt it! But I feel like this now, and I feel like korean food. All week, I have been eating Mexican food…at least I can say this baby is making me crave the good stuff!

TODAY, I will be going home and making KIMBAP…I will post the recipe for this Korean treat. I am promising myself and you all this recipe, because it pains me that I havent made a post in over 1 month…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LoL.

So stay tuned for Kimbap…OUR WAY!  We will try to keep it traditional!

Dress: silk rose colored glasses print dress by Tucker (similar here). Bag: Medium Paraty bag by Chloe (similar here). Jacket: denim by Marc by Marc Jacobs (old). Sunnies: Robert Marc. Watch: vintage Rolex. Shoes: Stella McCartney (old). Hat: H&M.

You can read about our choice of hospital –> HERE <–

Onto the important stuff!

Weight/ bump

Here is the change in bump over the last few weeks:

15 weeks

16 weeks

16.5 weeks

After not really putting on any weight, this month saw me stack on 5 KILOS, which I think is about 14 pounds. If I wasn’t pregnant, I would be almost suicidal about this much weight gain. My first gain was about two kilos, then I lost one, and then I gained 5- so it’s a total gain of around 6. Finally I am looking different. Not different enough for strangers to know I  am pregnant (they’ll think I am fat!), but I certainly feel different. I have a big build by nature (a low weight for me when working out 4 times a week or running daily is around 70kg) but my tummy has always, always been flat – my core strong and lithe. So it’s hard at the moment to watch it swelling and thickening  without revealing my actual pregnantness yet.

Skin

My skin is better, though still looking pretty spotty – that wave of zits I got a few weeks ago has just been working its way out – it was really like a rash and looked a bit like boy’s adolescent shaving rash around my chin. Now they’re all healing up and only one or two sore / live spots are left. Fuck off already!

Food

I am still fairly uneasy about eating and not enjoying it much. AW is force feeding me which is necessary most of the time, but not always pleasant, especially if I am already full. Look at my breakfast in bed – a daily occurrence – oats with banana in the bowl, toast and fruit – I am a lucky girl!

Breakfast

17 week appointment

I had to slug some horribly sweet liquid to give me a sugar rush and then one hour later I was tested for Gestational Diabetes along with some other stuff. The results will come in on Friday. If I ‘failed’ the glucose test the this Saturday I will need to go to the clinic for the long haul. I will need to have four blood tests at hourly intervals punctuated at various intervals with intense bursts of sugary stuff. I really hope I don’t need to do that. It sounds awful, and I will have to do it alone because superchef will be working.

The big reveal was a bit of a flop – we had planned to copy the actions of a blog friend of mine here.  We had hoped to ask the Dr to write down the gender and put it in an envelope. We wanted to reveal it later whilst Skyping my parents, but as it turned out, it was a bit difficult not to look for /see the babies’ genitalia. So we already knew the gender result – add to that that mum ‘forgot’ the time and wasn’t back home till 10.30pm our time, and you have a bit of a fail. In this rock’n'roll household we are in bed with the Olympics at about 8! Still – they did Skype us and despite our sleepiness, we did ask them to guess and everyone was pleased that it iiiiiiis…………………. a boy and a girl!

I worked out that this was the most likely outcome however; here are the four possible outcomes:

1. B  G
2. B  B
3. G  B
4. G  G

We are really happy with that – it’s just what we didn’t dare hope for. There is a chance that the girl might be a boy with a very small willy, but only 2-3%chance of that error, so I think we’ll go with the verdict.

17 weeks! On the left is the boy, side on. On the right is the girl – a kind of birds’ eye view with her head in the bottom Right hand corner and her knees drawn up. Both are lying transverse at the moment.

Preparations

Our stash of baby stuff is growing and now includes a second hand buggy. We received it this morning for a bargain price with a box of toys and cloths and even a nappy bag chucked in. Very, very grateful.

The Buggy

The other stuff they chucked in! THANK YOU!

For starters, happy 15 weeks to the beautiful Miss Adelaide Eileen! (And hello Aunt Jessie- we love you, clearly!)

Onto the meat of this puff piece:
I love Christmas. And when I say love, I mean I’m obsessed. I got on a ladder, perching  off the side of the columns in the front of my house at 18 weeks pregnant to put up Christmas lights last year and I cannot wait to pass the sickness along to Addie.

Every year we get a new Hallmark ornament. From childhood my mom made sure we had an ornament that was chosen specifically for us. My brothers have the Star Wars series, my sister the Barbie series, my Dad (when he was alive) got the penguin/snowman on ice every year, and we always got her something to do with gardening. (We also got her matching lipstick and nail polish and a cloth calendar for the year, which we can no longer find.) I have the Puppy Love series, beginning from it’s inception in 1991. I have many others, and I’ve attempted to wrangle every boyfriend and best friend ever into the love of the holidays by purchasing them their very own ornament for the tree, but the most important ones are the ones that my mom chose for me. I know that she loves the ornaments and decorations I made with thumb prints drawn into reindeer or a Santa and elves. But my favorites are each and every one that I placed on the tree with my mom at Christmas and opened on Christmas Eve. The small puppies smiling at me from a basket or wrapped in a scarf, perfectly wrapped in their original boxes, waiting to be taken out and hung.

And now, it’s my turn.  As I walked into the Hallmark store in Garden City, Cranston for the Christmas in July weekend, I was nervous. I wanted to get the right 1st Christmas ornament for her.

I looked at them all. Then I walked away and picked out Dave’s ornament (he gets the guitar one ever year) and checked out the baby ones again. Then I walked away to think.  Then I walked back and I saw it. Somehow I had missed it. lil’ peanut was staring at Addie, whom I fondly refer to as my baby beanut. Yes: Beanut. I don’t know why or how it began, but it did and it’s become one of her million names. And here was this ornament staring me in the face and making me tear up. The poor sales girl who watched me pace and compare for 45 minutes while holding Addie who was drooling all over me, must have thought I was crazy.

I know it’s just and ornament to most people, but to me, it’s the beginning. The first of many memories that I cannot wait to have with my beautiful baby girl. I can’t wait to light our Chanukkah candles and pass on the tradition of silly gifts: socks, headbands, gloves, scarves, a hat- eight silly gifts to pale in the shadow of such a beautiful story about the holiday. And to celebrate Christmas with midnight mass, opening her ornament on the eve of, and waking up way too early to eat a chocolate orange strategically shoved in the toe of a custom L.L.Bean stocking.

So here is her ornament:

If you’re in the area for the holidays, please stop in- we would love to celebrate with you- no matter what holiday you celebrate.

By week 16 I was already rocking a round belly and my belly button was protruding. It made me so happy to see my reflection and I’d rub my belly every time I knew no one was watching.

And of course, my now obviously pregnant belly was attracting the attention of a lot of people around me.

Once I was just waiting for a bus, when a random woman started talking to me.

WOMAN: How far along are you?
ME: 17 weeks
WOMAN: 17 weeks???

(I suppose she had to repeat that just to understand what I was telling her)

WOMAN: Only 17 weeks? WOW!
ME: (confused)
WOMAN: You are so BIG!!!
ME: (still confused, but now starting to dislike this conversation)
WOMAN: Are you having TWINS?
ME: no, just one
WOMAN: WOW

(she keeps staring at my belly as if it’s some kind of an exhibition piece at the museum)

WOMAN: WOW

(OK, lady, have you never seen a pregnant woman before? Enough with the WOWs, you’re really starting to make me feel uncomfortable)

WOMAN: you’re going to have a HUGE baby!
ME: right. I suppose that’s possible

And then the bus arrived, and the moment I got on, I tried to get as far away from this woman as possible.

And I need to start attaching belly photos!  I’ll take a photo today or tomorrow and try to remember to add it in.

WEEK: 17

MONTH: 5

TRIMESTER: 2

GENDER GUESS: I still feel like it’s a girl, and I always think of it coming out being a girl.  But yesterday at my OB appointment the heart rate was 150 beats/minute so that could be a boy.  Although Elsa was always in the lower ranges and still came out a girl!  I just looked at my weekly updates from Elsa and at 17 weeks her, her heart rate was 140 beats/minute!

BABY’S HOMEWORK THIS WEEK:  During the 18th week, the baby will be making many movements, exercising and flexing arms and legs. Blood vessels are visible through skin, and the ears are in their final position. A protective cover of myelin is starting to form around the nerves – and that process continues for the baby’s whole first year! Baby’s bones are starting to harden now from soft cartilage to bone, and one of the first parts to harden are the bones in the inner ear so soon baby will be able to hear my heart beating or stomach growling.

BABY’S SIZE: Baby is about 5 inches long from head to bum, and weighs about 5 ounces!

BABY LOOKS LIKE: 

WEIGHT GAIN: Based on our scale here, I’m going to say I started at 144 pounds pre-pregnancy.  I’m now at 151, sometimes closer to 152.  With Elsa I’d gained 10 pounds at this point so I guess I’m okay with around 7-8 this time based on that!  My belly at belly button is still 37.5 inches, so it hasn’t grown in the last I think 3 weeks.  It’s huge compared to what I was with Elsa at this point!

SYMPTOMS: I’m having a really good pregnancy right now, I can’t complain about really anything!  I do have some symptoms but they aren’t bad right now, or at least I don’t feel like they’re bad at all.  I don’t have to pee a lot during the day but at night I get up usually 3-4 times, and often then have insomnia for a couple hours as well which is never fun.  Sometimes I have leg pains at night too.  I have a lot more energy now though, or maybe I wouldn’t say energy but I’m not exhausted all the time.  My worst time is probably mid-morning, I often get really tired again and soooo badly want to nap!  My gums don’t seem to bleeding that badly right now.  I’m getting a few little zits/pimples over the last week, and they aren’t nice easy-to-pop ones but more under the skin so make a bump, I don’t love those.  My nose still gets a little stuffy sometimes.    I just looked back to 17 weeks with Elsa and I was pretty much the same, not many symptoms and feeling good, just annoying gums bleeding.  So very similar pregnancy!

CURRENT MOOD: Happy!  I love feeling good again and I love that I’m nearing the halfway point!  Of course I know I have over 5 months to go still, but it still seems pretty exciting!  I’m excited and anxious to feel the baby move, I really want to start that part so I physically know it’s there.  Yesterday I had my OB appointment and Dr. Collister said everything looked perfect, my uterus is just where it’s supposed to be, and he found the heartbeat immediately!  That was so relieving cause having gone 5 weeks without hearing the heartbeat and with not yet being certain I feel anything, and also feeling so good, I had a slight worry that the baby wouldn’t be alive anymore.  So I now am excited and totally relaxed now that I know everything is going well!  I now sort of want my belly to start growing a little more.  My belly still isn’t pretty pregnant cause there’s some fat there as well, so I want it to get a little bigger and harder so it looks nicer and so people will know in a second that I’m pregnant when they see me.  They probably can now when I wear tight shirts, but sometimes it just looks like a round stomach but not for sure pregnant, and I feel like it makes my bum look rounder and bigger, too.  So I guess I’m just excited for the next few weeks!  To feel the baby, to have my belly grow a little, and to keep watching the weeks tick by!

CURRENT FAVORITE FOOD OR CRAVING: I really don’t have any right now that I can think of.  Sometimes I really want milk but that’s the only thing I’d say is close to a craving.

DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS: Yesterday with OB.  All is good!  All tests so far are good and I had the triple screen blood draw yesterday so I hope I hear in the next week that the baby is low risk for any of the genetic disorders.  Baby’s heart rate was 150 beats/minute.  I have my next appointment in a month, and two days after that have the big ultrasound!  I need to decide whether I want to go to BabyMoon after that to get good images, or wait until around 32 weeks to go to BabyMoon and get 3D images.

BEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Yesterday, hearing the baby’s heartbeat!  It instantly relieved all my worries and I now feel just pure happiness and excitement, and will enjoy this time of not having too big of a belly and having hardly any symptoms!  

WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO: Feeling the baby move!  Sometimes I think I feel a little flutter but it seems almost like I’m feeling it too low.  I THINK it’s the baby that I’ve felt, but it’s just not strong enough to be sure yet so half the time I try to convince myself that I am feeling it, the other half of the time i completely second guess myself.  So I think I’ve felt it, but I want to be SURE!

WHAT I’M MISSING: Hot dogs and brie.  Last week Elsa and I were downtown and we walked around for awhile after my appointment and all the hot dog stands were set up, one on every frickin’ block, and the smell was wafting towards me and smelled sooooooo  good!!

June 9 2012 we were 17weeks 4 days. Every morning I would get up bright and early, at 5 am and enjoy a coffee and play with our very active little baby inside me.  Baby would kick and roll and I would touch and talk, but this morning was different.  Babe was not active and I wondered… I waited for my husband to wake.  Once he awoke I thought I would listen for babe’s heart.  We couldn’t find it.  We called our midwife and then met her at the clinic.  She couldn’t find the heart either.  We went to the hospital for an ultrasound.  As my husband watched the screen tears streamed from him. Our baby passed away. .. why? what did I do? I shouldn’t have touched baby. I told myself this was not happening. I turned off my emotions – still shocked – this couldn’t be real this is our 9 th baby and we have never had any problems.  I’m 37 he is 35.  What has happened?  Baby was healthy.  My mind kept going through everything even as the doctor was giving us options, as we were sitting in emergency where a nurse set up to rip our baby apart.  How dumb – did she really think I would do such a thing? Finally sent to the 7 th floor where all beautiful babies are born.  We were induced, it was about 2:00 pm. I still couldn’t believe it was happening…never went in to full labor in fact all was so shocking when a burst of blood came out.  Then I had a sudden urge to pee and to my surprise I caught our beautiful baby in my hands over the toilet.  Reality hit. Our tiny baby sleeping in my hands June 9 2012 8:35 pm 5.6 oz 21 cm.  I couldn’t let baby go.  By 2:am baby went to the cold part of the hospital (sorry cannot say it) then we signed papers to release baby to the funeral home for morning.  At 11am we picked up our baby in a beautiful coffin, brought baby home for our children to hold and say good bye. Monday June 11 baby is buried between our two beautiful birch trees, and a beautiful garden has been set on top all our flowers choosen by us all for beauty. To this day I cannot believe this has happened. I have beautiful pictures to share but don’t know how to upload them