I’ve been home from the hospital for about three days now.  In some ways it has been almost as unexpected as the whole ER/hospital extravaganza.  We thought that coming home would be easier, I would be feeling better.  And I can see some improvements: my belly button incision is getting less tender (the surgeon was concerned with this one getting infected because it was particularly red and swollen initially); my shoulder pain is almost completely gone; and my abdominal pain is lessening.

But in other ways, it has been more difficult.  Those first few days were all about triage; we couldn’t think too far ahead and really, we didn’t even have many decisions to make.  But now that I’m home, I have nothing to do but what I do best . . . processing the past and contemplating the future.  You mix all that worrisome thinking with trying to cope with the pain without resorting to painkillers (these depressed the baby’s heart rate and variability while we were at the hospital, so I’m trying to avoid them), and you’ve basically got a recipe for a couple of teary meltdowns every day.

Neal’s personalized therapy is for us to talk about all the blessings we’ve seen over the last few days as well as some of the funny moments.  So here’s a few that I want to remember:

Blessings

• Making it to 32 weeks, as of this Thursday . . . this is a big, important milestone for fetal development, and the point at which the infant survival rate is almost 99%.
• My midwife Jana’s persistence that I should be sent back down to the ER, rather than discharged.  Based on what the surgeon told us, there is a good chance my appendix would have ruptured if not for her intervention.
• A visit from my Aunt Jo Ann, who shared some of her experiences with intense medical situations, including a premature daughter.  It was so timely because I had been having one of those aforementioned meltdowns, just feeling ill-equipped to make it through all this.  She reminded me that in the moments that I most need it, Heavenly Father will reassure me that I can do what needs to be done and care for our daughter no matter what happens.
  
• Not being so itchy . . . Neal keeps reminding me, can you imagine if you were as itchy as you were two months ago with three incisions on your belly?
• Flowers!  They really brighten up my room.  Thanks Audrey, Kaila, and Mom & Dad!

Funnies

• When I was first feeling the pain and unable to sleep, Neal was pretty convinced it was just gas pain from too much pizza.  And he always has ideas to help me feel better.  So picture Neal drilling me in calisthenics at 10pm, in order to alleviate the pain from what turned out to require emergency surgery about 12 hours later.  (This just cracks me up every time I think about it!)  I looked like this, minus the spandex and short-shorts, and with breaks for clutching my side when the pain got too intense:

• When they released me from labor and delivery and sent me to the ER, there was no tech available at the moment to escort us, so they asked Neal if he could just wheel me down.  It sounded easy enough, until we realized that without a special key card you actually have to go outside to get to the ER.  So, it was about 7:30am, 10 degrees, and Neal is pushing me through a parking lot while I’m wearing an open-back hospital gown!
• You know in movies where they are trying to visually show what people see when they are coming to, or coming out of anesthesia.  It’s like a warped, kaleidoscopy-type image.  Well, it was actually just like that!  Seriously, whoever first thought of that special effect knew what they were talking about.
• My feet being so swollen that every time I walked it felt like huge flaps of skin were swaying from side-to-side on top of my feet.  Such a weird sensation!

So last night I had lots of contractions. I didn’t call my doctor because they were so irregular but many of them were painful… most just really uncomfortable. So today I’m watching out for more contractions. Hopefully I won’t be heading to the hospital! I’m almost 32 weeks but that is still really early! :/

We weren’t really packed for the hospital, but now we are!! I got my stuff together, Hubby’s stuff together and this morning I packed Junie & Mags up for their “vacation” at Grandma’s house! I’ve got a few other things to grab from around the house but we’re pretty much ready to go!

I had one contraction this morning right when I woke up but that was over an hour ago and I haven’t had one since. I’ve felt Snowdrop moving a little bit so I’m not too worried about her. However, if I do have any more contractions like last night… then I will be calling the doctor!

Okie dokie. Off to the couch to do some serious resting… and watching of Disney Princess movies. I think we’ll start with “Rella” as the girls like to call her…

Well, in my opinion this is really week 31 but we will humor the doctors anyway.  As I write this I am laying in bed with my lap top listening to soothing music.  In other words, I’m having more contractions.  They’re not very severe, just enough to keep me irritated.  I have my contraction log book right beside me and am timing them.  I had this great idea about writing to pass the time – I can’t concentrate.  Big surprise, huh?  I’ll either get this update done or I won’t, no big deal.  There’s always tomorrow.  Here’s whats going on with us this week!

We were in triage yet again last night, and sent home four hours later – at 3am.  I was having regular contractions but they weren’t huge and my cervix wasn’t changing.  This doctor didn’t do anything really, compared to the previous doctor (I prefer this approach).  They put a fetal monitor on, told us to call the nurse if anything changed, and left Jason and I alone.  When the contractions hit and became stronger that night I lost it.  I was so tired I couldn’t think.  This little girl has her own ideas about what she wants to do.  I never had these problems with my sons.  So, I am back home with orders to rest.  Up until now I was sick of doing nothing so I was back to doing most of what I used to around the house.  Now, though, the tiredness is really hitting me.  I took two naps tonight!  I know, I’m going to be up all night now.  I’m interested in finding new positions to facilitate labor and the dropping of the baby in station so I’ll probably stay busy googling.  We’re still using the doppler a lot to keep tabs on her heart beat (steady).

Sleeping is painful these days.  I can’t get comfortable anymore and it seems to strain my pelvic floor muscles.  We have another ultrasound today so we’ll see how much she weighs in at.  I am going to have a talk with my doctor as well.  I thought by now that they would listen to me and adjust my due date accordingly – I know I’m not due December 31st.  The conception date is exact, so its not possible.  I certainly don’t feel 32 weeks pregnant – I feel 33-34 weeks and am still measuring big.  I know that’s common with gestational diabetes but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.  If there is only one possible conception date, you should use it!

I’d better stop, I’m getting myself frustrated all over again.  A friend of mine told me a really appropriate quote to keep my mood up during the tail end of this pregnancy.  “You can either despair that the rose bush has thorns, or you can rejoice that the thorn bush has roses.“  I’m trying to think roses!  By now the average baby is up to four pounds now so I’m sure she’s near there.  The amniotic fluid should be at its highest and I should be gaining a pound a week (yes, I have a spreadsheet of my weight and belly inches haha).  These are details of an average pregnancy, I won’t know for sure how we’re both doing until tomorrow.  If I don’t add to this entry after the appointment I’ll put the details in the next update.  Other than that, just keep an eye out for new ultrasound pictures.

Update: Doctors appointment went great!  My uterus is measuring 5 inches above my naval and baby Zoey is just over 4lbs!  Right on track!

I decided to play some more with my new flash tonight. 

Seriously check it out on black

Specs
Camera: 50mm, ISO 100, 1/100 sec., f/6.3
Light: 550EX II off camera at 1/64 power (located 1 o’clock from camera’s perspective on the floor)

Ok, 7 weeks until baby girl arrives!  So exciting now.  We went in for an ultrasound yesterday to estimate her size and to make sure she was in the right direction.  I’m thinking that isn’t a problem.  Yup, she has definately dropped and is head down – but this is #3 so that is very common.  Little girl is not so little!  Chubby cheeks in her pic!  OOOH, so cute!  But she is estimated to be around 8.5 lbs in 7 more weeks.   Everything looks great, except her legs… are very long… Hubby was very excited!  At least she will get something from me!  Our son is a clone of dad!  Little missy will at least have my long legs!  I did ask if she had  a baseball bat in there… nope, just long legs!

Getting new and fun fabrics in – I’m a bit slow in listing them in the shop! UGH, need to do that today!  But they are really sweet!  I have Minky in Pink Skulls and the same print on Corduroy from Robert Kaufman!  Love it!  Great for fall!  Here is a pic!

and here is the Corduroy.  I have it in this pink as well as Sable Brown!

Here are a couple of dresses I have created lately. This little knot Dress and Peasant dress is made with Erin McMorris ‘ “Wildwood” collection!  I love it!  But, I love greens!

This is the same design but made with Dena Fishbein fabrics, from her “Snowflower” collection.  This dress I actually listed on Etsy.

Eight weeks till:

Jack is only 32 weeks old and Mommy is already thinking about his first day of school.  Yesterday was the beginning of the school year and as I watched little kids wait outside their homes in the morning for the school bus to pick them up, I couldn’t help, but to think of Jack.  Up until Saturday afternoon I would have thought it impossible to picture Jack grown up enough to be carrying a little book-bag and sack lunch ready for all of the adventures and experiences that going to school brings, but as of Saturday afternoon, Jack has a new haircut.

For the past few weeks, Daddy had been trying to convince Mommy that Little Man’s ever growing hair had reached a point of shaggy that required a haircut.  Mommy has been resisting taking Jack in for a haircut because although his first haircut was a milestone and necessary, a second one seemed unthinkable.  After all, while Jack has long hair he still looks like a little baby, but on Saturday afternoon we went to Supercuts.  Unfortunately, the stylists became a little over zealous thus with her clippers.  She managed to transform our baby into a little boy.

Just that morning Jack began to scoot, which will eventually turn into crawling, and in what will seem like an instant, I’ll turn around and he’ll be walking and talking.  Jack hasn’t had any teeth come in yet, but due to his less than happy demeanor the past couple days I’m sure the first one isn’t too far away and gone will be the little gummy smile that is a trademark of my little baby boy.  A baby boy who should grow up, but who I desperately wish would stay small enough to cradle in my arms.

So, we took our newly made little boy home. On our drive home from Supercuts Mommy had to fight the tears that welled as that familiar mommy feeling of “I’m losing my baby” began to sweep over me.  The most difficult part about being a parent is how quickly time seems to pass.  Children grow and change on a daily basis.  They are almost by definition the embodiment of passing time.  Each precious moment Daddy and I share with Jack quickly fade to nothing more than a memory to cherish no matter how desperately we wish to live in it forever.

From the raspberry noises he makes with his paci to his infectious giggle every time we blow raspberries on his tummy.  The way he moves his hand up and down at the wrist whenever he grasps something in his chubby little hand or how his fingers move as if he’s playing a little trumpet.  These are the small things that time erases and never quite seem the same on film.  These moments fly by and although our darling little boy can’t even crawl yet, I know it will be only a matter of time before I ache for that first day of school even though I’m terrified of it now.

I shed a few tears as I glide my fingers over the small clippings of Jack’s hair I saved from that transformative day.  I mourn the infant whose head these little locks once adorned, but as I gaze at the picture of this round faced little boy, a boy who I love more than air, I smile.  Little Jack will always be our imaginary-trumpet playing baby, no matter how quickly he grows or how short his hair is cut.

Before

After

Yesterday, I had a pretty good doctor’s appointment with Dr. M’s office.  We had to wait 1.5 hours to be seen because the doc I was  assigned to was stuck doing an emergency C-section.  They were going to reschedule me for another day, but husb was pushy and insisted I be seen since I was “high-risk.”  So they managed to squeeze me in.  I told him not to act like that when I’m hospitalized! But I gotta hand it to him, he gets results.

My bp was good, mostly because I told the MA to give me a second to let my heart rate go down.  Belly is measuring on target and my urine was fine. Up 3 pounds in 2 weeks.  Been lazy and hungry! 

Doc wants me to get a US to check my cervical length and see how MeMe is growing.  Fantastic!  I haven’t seen her in 4 weeks! Then we asked about the Cerclage Removal and we found out it will be on L&D  at my hospital since it’s more sterile and I can be monitored for contractions. They will call me with the date that it will be scheduled but I should expect sometime after Sept 14th (36w1d).  Yay! Hopefully I’ll dilate right away and only have like a week or two until labor starts.  Mom thinks and dreamed that I’ll deliver on her birthday, Sept 24th.  Another Libra in the house!

We got some info on local pediatricians and the form to pre-register for the hospital. The new doc trained with Dr. S. way back in the day and she was pretty sharp on addressing any concerns. We’ll see another doc at my 34 wk appointment.

We also just bought MeMe’s stroller and carseat on +arget.com and it should be delivered to our house sometime next week.  After it arrives, then I’ll get the pack-n-play that she’ll be sleeping in.  It matches the travel system and has music/vibrations to help soothe her. It has a changing station built in, napper, and bassinet along with the playyard on the bottom.  We thought it was pretty cool when we first saw it, but now it’s no longer in the stores and we have to buy it online.  You would think that if it was being discontinued, it should be on sale! It’s a freakin’ clearance item.  Oh well. I just want it here by stitch cutting time.

I’ve been working on the Outdooring Party.  I find it more exciting to figure out.  Everyday I try to discuss it my mom or husb and I think they’re tired of me already! Can’t really plan for the baby anymore since a lot of it is learning on the spot.  So at least now that I have plenty of time, I can start the prep for the party.  I know when MeMe comes and I’ll be focusing on her that the thought of planning and organizing a party will be the last thing on my mind.  Mom and I planned the food and invite list just last night. We’ll have lots of ladies helping on the day of the party.

MeMe is now a Super-preemie! Yay! 32 weeks of baking, so amazed to make it this long. This date was highlighted and circled months ago. I have had my cerclage in for exactly half my pregnancy. 16 weeks since the surgery and 4 weeks until the stitches can be cut. Husb is getting really excited, especially about the stitch removal (then he can finally get some nooky). We see Dr M on Tues and plan to get more details on that process. He’s been my cheerleader on days when I feel crappy and reminds me that she’s coming very soon so hang in there!

Symptoms: extreme hunger, gas, nausea, fatigue, super belly!

It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve done a bump report, but according to my archives it’s only been two weeks. It also seems like I get bigger and bigger every hour, you know you are in the third trimester when you become far more uncomfortable than seems reasonable, getting cramps and pains in places that I only know exsist because this is my second pregnancy.

According to babycenter.com, BB weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long – that’s only about one pound different than two weeks ago and I know I haven’t gained an awful lot of weight either, but according to babycenter.com I may gain about a pound a week from here on out and roughly half of that goes right to the baby. She’ll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she prepares up for life outside the womb.

I got a look at myself in a full length mirror shortly before leaving Massachusetts and was pretty much floored by how big I’m getting. We don’t own a full length mirror and for the most part, looking down at it, my stomach has looked about the same. It was only in things like trying to lean over to pick up something and noticing that getting up was getting harder, that I guessed I was getting bigger, but after looking in the mirror I’m pretty sure I am doing awesome for being this huge – and I bet I’m like even more huge now, two weeks later. My back and everything else hurts and even my maternity shirts are starting to get a bit short in length, but that’s okay. In less than two months this will all be over and I’ll be recovering from my c-section, cradling our new baby and all will be well enough. Now in the meantime I need to pick a doctor and get things rolling towards that delivery. Our new health insurance will start June 1st, I’ve got my medical records and with any luck this will all go well. Either way, it looks like I’m going to have a baby.

Counting down to baby here.  I am almost 32 weeks.  I definitely have a mover and shaker in here.  He wriggles all day long.  Kind of fun to watch the belly wave back and forth.  Thought I would share my funny psychedelic belly shot. 

Tuesday marked 32 weeks! Hooray!

On Monday we had a doctor’s appointment and the very good news is that there were no further cervical changes. Little Cap’s heart was sounding good, however my tummy measured the same (29cm) as it did at our previous check. We have an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday the 13th to see the size of our Little Cap. Hopefully he’s done his growing work and it just doesn’t show from the outside, he certainly feels bigger!

The other good news is that the doctor relaxed the bed rest regime and said I can be upright for 2-3 hours each day. Wow! Since the doctor’s visit involved a fair amount of walking and sitting up I stayed down for the rest of the day on Monday. But on Tuesday I tried out my new lifestyle.

My first order of business was to return the kitchen to my level of cleanliness. And boy oh boy did it feel good to wipe down those counters! At first I set the kitchen timer for 30 minutes and got to work (very gingerly, of course). Five minutes in and my back got pretty achy. Fifteen minutes in and… I was back on the couch. Ouch. Apparently if you grow a great big baby filled tummy while lying down your back muscles have some catching up to do. I did give it another go and wound up spending two hours up in little spurts of 15 or 30 minutes.

This morning (Wednesday) brought a bit of a scare and more Braxton-Hicks contractions than usual so I have stayed down for all but seven minutes and the usual bathroom visits. I might just try a little bit of the vertical life before bedtime, we’ll see…

Today my pal, Lexi, biked down from the Northside and paid a glorious visit to Bed Rest Central. Despite not having an in-person visit for two years we picked right back up where we left off and it was wonderful.

Even more good news today is that “my” tree outside the window has come into full bloom! The blossoms inspired the theme of our “32″.

Tomorrow’s upright hours have already been scheduled as we are off to childbirth class in the evening. We’ll keep you posted.

~Elizabeth

I feel like I woke up at 32 weeks as wide as a house, or at least a doorway. I’m feeling pressure in places I never have before. My feet feel very distant, and I can barely bend over (thank goodness for a husband who can tie my shoes for me). I still have an innie, because my bellybutton is cavernous, but it’s closer to the surface than ever. Sleeping is getting uncomfortable, walking is getting uncomfortable, sitting for too long is uncomfortable – and all I can think is, 8 more weeks of this?! Yikes.

Finding comfort in nesting, but getting terrified by reading the book It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong (mom blogger at Dooce, who has a 5 year old and is only a week or 2 ahead of me in her second pregnancy). There’s a long, tired road ahead, and I’ll just try to enjoy my baby while he’s still in there and not screaming.

The women’s ministry at my church threw me a a baby shower yesterday (hosted and planned by my lovely friend Julie) and it was great. I felt extremely blessed to have the church family that I have. I’m glad that Sam will (Lord willing) grow up at Crossroads!

This website is fascinating. I spent some time there this morning at 4am when I couldn’t sleep (…again) and some more time there today, trying to figure out what Sam is doing in there. It definitely provides some insight. I think he is head down, with his back laying against the right side of my uterus, but that was this morning at 4am. I felt around later today and I think he may have shifted to a different position — head down still, but with his back along the back of my uterus. I keep feeling kicks and punches on both sides of my womb. Trying to sit with better posture and do more pelvic tilts. I do a bunch of pelvic tilts a day anyway (probably in the hundreds, but I’ve never really added them up) because it does make my back feel better. But I have horrible posture and being a little front-heavy has only made that worse. And the couch is comfy, whereas the floor is not so much. But I’d like to avoid back labor, so on the floor I sit.

I have an appointment tomorrow and Barb will help me determine how he is positioned. I am curious to find out if my guesses are right or way off.

So.  I’m 32 weeks pregnant and yes, this is our first baby.  Yes, the baby is a miracle, and a blessing, and all sorts of wonderful, and we can’t wait, but since about a week ago when baby started doing summersaults and karate kicks there has been a new layer added.  I like to call this layer the CRAZY.  There is a BABY in my bellie and it’s moving around all alien-esque.  Why haven’t any of my so-called friends told me about the crazy?  What else aren’t they telling me?

The majority of my pregnancy has not been about sharing too much. This is my first pregnancy so obviously everything was new to me. I felt a strong need to stay inside a bit more. I allowed my yoga podcast to take a bit of a back seat as my body, my heart, my mind slowly morphed into motherhood preparation

I think God did some great thinking having us HAVE to allow the baby to grow for 9 MONTHS!!! It’s the beginning of patience I tell you. I cannot tell you how many times I just wanted her out! Not out of discomfort or pregnancy aches and pains, but simply because I just wanted to hold her already!!! Big lesson for me, big lesson.

I’ve gotten to a point where my pregnancy is a bigger part of my body. I had been blessed by having a pretty seamless pregnancy. She grew slowly. I haven’t really gained that much weight. There have been changes, but as they happen so very slowly, I was able to align with the shifts and make choices that would support my weight gain. It’s now, at the 8th month that I ‘feel’ absolutely PREGNANT I have to move slower, mind my steps, move around a lot more as being in one position for too long does not feel good, and I am getting all sort of achies and shifties all throughout my hips and belly. I particularly dislike getting in and out of cars. Oh lordy if the cars are short cars…Tough I tell you.

So, I share with you now, my prenatal yoga practice. I speak with you as if you were with me, telling you the why of what I do. It all happens organically. I did not plan on a specific practice. I just followed my own instincts, focusing on my baby girl and what feels good in my body. I am not in any way saying that all pregnant women should feel good doing what I do, or that THIS is the way to practice. I’m sharing to have you be with me and perhaps share some of my insights with you that I have learned I would love to start a conversation, both with pregnant yoginis, wanna be pregnant yoginis, or just plain ‘ol yoginis that want to deepen their understanding of their female body (possibly even having gone through this already)

Please comment!

I had to compress the video A LOT, as it’s a 1 hour video, please bear with the lack of resolution But, if you would like to receive this class in High Definition DVD, I would be happy to mail it out to you for a small donation of $5 + $1 shipping

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