Rookie: Hamish

According to fremantlefc.com.au Hamish Shepheard is a “versatile tall forward who has the ability to go back if needed and this was highlighted throughout the NAB AFL U18 Championships. Mobile for his size, reads the game well and has clean hands.”

He is tall. He can run (apparently to order). He has clean hands. Excellent. Good selection criteria there Freo. We’re sure to win a premiership now. Whilst the ’scouts’ were admiring Hamish’s manicure, no one noticed he is clearly descendent of rat, if not actually some kind of were-rat. But maybe I’m being overly critical (again) comrade. Perhaps choosing young weedy rookies with rat powers might come in handy if the AFL keeps changing the rules. I can see NAB pre-season of the future (say 2020), where the home side can choose non conventional surfaces for the game. Freo of course will choose the rat infested docks of the Fremantle harbour. Having a giant rat-man on the team will seem like an uncanny advantage. But back in 2008 the selectors knew what they were doing… geniuses!

Hooray!

Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!

I think we have to admit that some of the left’s criticisms of Bush are valid. Not all of them, and not the craziest ones. Bush did not steal the 2000 election in Florida, and did not steal the 2004 election in Ohio. Bush did not blow up the World Trade Center. Bush did not lie about Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Bush did not blow up the levees to drown black people after hurricane Katrina.

With all the derangement the left has spewed over the past six years, it was only too easy to dismiss valid criticisms, buried like ponies in the manure of left-wing rhetoric. But as his administration prepares to ride out of town, now it can be said, sometimes the left was right about Bush.

What brings this to the fore is Bush’s refusal to pardon or commute the sentences of Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, two Border Patrol agents railroaded to prison after shooting a well-connected drug smuggler in the buttocks. Under Bush’s policy of letting the United States be Mexico’s bitch, an overzealous prosecutor gave immunity to the drug smuggler and lied to Congress about the prosecution,  hid information about the drug smuggler from the jury and secured a Draconian sentence for the two Border Patrol agents.

This case encapsulates much of the valid criticisms of the Bush Administration made by the left: Arrogance, Elitism, and Cronyism.

Arrogance:  Both Democrat and Republican members of Congress and thousands of concerned citizens have petitioned Bush to reconsider the harsh sentences meted out to Ramos and Compean, but Bush refuses to listen to them.

Elitism: Ramos and Compean are members of the working class, as far as Bush is concerned, they are inferiors. He would go to bat for a member of his class, say Scooter Libby, and ensure that he never spend a day behind bars. But not for peasants.

Cronyism: As noted, Bush went to bat for Scooter Libby and gave him an immediate, unquestioning commutation. Part of the reason Bush refuses to do so for Ramos and Compean is that they were prosecuted by his good buddy Johnny Sutton, and Bush would rather see two good (if lower class) men rot in prision than embarrass a member of his clique.

It also validates at least one criticism from the right: Bush doesn’t give a damn about border security.

So now, let’s consider which of the right’s critcisms about Obama will be validated. Again, we can dismiss the crazy ones. Obama is not a Muslim. From what I’ve seen, Obama doesn’t really worship anything other than Obama, a religion he shares with the majority of the mainstream media.

But, the right will no doubt be vindicated in its more reasonable criticisms of Obama: he has corrupt associations, he is a lightweight, he is a big-government statist social-democrat.

Corruption: We have not yet reached inauguration day, and we are up to two scandals (Blagojevich and Richardson) and  a brouhaha (Rick Warren). The brouhaha does not matter so much, the corruption does. Obama was brought up through the Chicago Democratic Machine; it’s simply not credible that he was the only virgin in that whorehouse. As he prepares to dispense trillions in “stimulus,” more corruption will emerge. It is simply unavoidable when that amount of money is at stake.

Lightweight: Obama has clearly demonstrated that he is out of his depth without a teleprompter. His facile responses in three-question press conferences would never be tolerated in a Republican, but would be seen as the mark of someone evading the press because trying to answer tough questions would embarrass him. That Jedi calm that Time magazine gushes about may well prove to be more Forrest Gump than Obi Wan Kenobi.

Statism: Obama’s “cure” for the economic recession is to be a massive expansion of public debt to pay for a thousand “Big Dig” scale infrastructure projects. Considering the recent history of both the “Big Dig” and the Capitol Visitors Center, it is likely, even inevitable, that these projects will cost multiples of their projected budget and be plagued by shoddy workmanship and corrupted award processes.  If they are accompanied by massive new environmental regulations, as indicated by Obama’s aggressive choices for EPA management, the result will be not only a prolonged and deepened recession but massive public resentment over new restrictions and regulations.

Time will tell, but the lesson that should be taken from the Bush experience (but probably won’t be) is that one should consider to the criticisms of one’s opponents.

The Party's Over, Enjoy the Hangover

Hope and Change turn out to be no match for the Status Quo. Obama is not only stuffing his cabinet with warmed over Clintonistas, he’s also backing off from his plans to 180 many of the Bush policies the Democrats attacked so viciously in the election cycle…. thus tacitly admitting that Bush was right all along!

Immediate pull-out of Iraq? No, Bush was right, we have to stay there until it’s stable.

Close Gitmo? Maybe not, Bush was right about that, too. Those guys are just too dangerous.

Repeal FISA and the Patriot Act? No, Bush might have been right about those, too.

Repeal the Bush Tax Cuts? Not so fast, Bush was probably right about that as well.

Who should run the Treasury Department? How about a carbon copy of Bush’s Treasury Secretary.

It’s little comfort to those of us who felt Bush was a lousy president that the new lousy president is co-opting his policies. Still, it should drive the left a little batty to be able to say, “I guess Bush was right about that” every time Chairman Zero leaves a Bush policy in place.

Lindsey Graham and John McCain prepare to return to the enemy camp.

Graham said that McCain and Obama are philosophically alike on budget reform, Social Security changes, earmark reform and immigration.

“If the administration wants to move forward with immigration again, I stand ready to do that,” Graham said.

Bipartisanship: A process by which Republicans collaborate with liberal Democrats to push the country toward socialism.

It comes as no surprise that John McCain would immediately run to Obama’s side. Obama and McCain are of one mind on tax cuts (hate them), global warming (believe it and are willing to sacrifice industrial civlization on the altar of Gaia), and Amnesty for illegal immigrants (Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!).  McCain is also a bitter, vengeful prick who would relish sticking a knife into the conservatives he blames for depriving him of the presidency.

The Jackboot on Your Neck Will Have a Bipartisan Footprint

Via Wooster

When genius street artist Banksy gets his hands on animatronics and a shop in NY, NY. This is what happens. I like Banksy. He said this apparently:

Think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a fucking sharp knife to it.

—Banksy

Nuggets

Fish Fingers

Sausages (careful ladies, this one is quasi erotic)

Rabbit (now I’m aroused!)

Is this the bit where I give it stars or something?

Ok it’s quite good, how about: 42 stars? Happy? Reviewers make your life that much easier. Anyway I hope Banksy doesn’t stop the random, street based, “box-breaking”, sabotage art, winding up the slave capitalist paradigm. That shit rocks. Look here for more: http://www.flickr.com/groups/banksy/pool

~ Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead! (and lucky that bunny’s cage is too small for a Russian)

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox.
The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
-Oscar Wilde

The geeks love user generated content because they feel like they really “own” the website they’re posting their content to… sharing the wealth of their massive heads I suppose. The web-man, he loves it because the nerds bring their friends to bask in their published triumphs etc. Today I discovered that my local park in the Maribyrnong Council also loves “user generated content”. The user is, in this case, my dog and the content is her doggy doo-doos (so Zappa – are you feelin’ it?). I didn’t realise this until getting a dog but for those playing at home without a K9, local councils provide little bags for you to pick up after your dog. Although it’s pretty gross at first, you get used to it and there’s an unspoken “pick it up!” ethic policed by disapproving frowns, stares and in rare instances a “pardon me, um, your dog…(awkward pause)”. It’s a pretty good system all-in-all that stops the park becoming a mine field for the 3 other types of park users I’ve noticed without dogs who don’t come packaged with our nifty dog poo “search and avoid” radar. That is: the sluggish early morning solo jogger, the gang of path hogging old Greek ladies and the odd mum – pram pusher.

So the bags help make everything go smoothly and there is a United Nations-type peace prevailing between the groups. That is of course until we run out of bags and go for a few days before the Maribyrnong Council refills them. This is when a shitty kind of anarchy descends.

For example today, the park and I were totally bagless. My dog looked at me after finishing her job as if to say “aren’t you going to pick that up?” and all I could do is shrug and say (to myself) “not without a bag mate!”. Maybe the council is just like the Web Guy, wanting the dogs to feel like they own the park with their user generated content? Ah… Maribyrnong Council – you’re so cheap and nasty. Maybe you better do a stocktake of all that user generated content being created out there in your parks while you sit back eating your 12 sandwiches. Oh and emptying the bins of said content would be greatly appreciated too! You’re just so fortunate; you’re just so…

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!

Now, I’ve long been a follower of the works of St Jude -the patron saint of drunks and lost causes (above left, hanging with the big J man), but I’ve recently (for one reason or another) stumbled upon the teachings of St Kevin – the patron saint for resisting temptation (above right).

St Kevin was an Irish monk who shunned the company of women, preferring the company of a cow, a blackbird and a very helpful otter . His disdain for the company of ladies was so strong that he is famed for having pushed an amorous woman into a patch of nettles (or in some references, off a cliff ). Other texts have Kevin fleeing the offending nubile by stripping off and leaping into the nettle patch himself (and throwing some nettles at the maiden for good measure). There are also some reports that when St K visited a New York strip club, he suffered from a hideous bought of amnesia.

St Kevin lived until he was 120.

I’m going to guess that they were 120 very long years.

Victoria remains free of horse flu after tests revealed yesterday that sick show horse, Harry’s Boy, in the state’s south-west was actually trying to pass off his cold as a flu.

There have been leaked reports from the Randwick stables in NSW to Lucky Boris Yeltsin is Dead!, that some horses allegedly diagnosed with the Equestrian Flu are in fact faking it as part of a unionist conspiracy, organised by the Equestrian Workers Union (EWU) to bring the Racing Industry and the Howard Government to its knees. The still slightly-nasal Harry’s Boy launched a scathing attack at a Hamilton Race Track press conference this morning.

“Fair crack of the bloody whip! This industrial action is well over due! The horse/human relationship has become untenable since the Work Choices legislation was introduced by the Howard Government.” Mr Boy said. “Look, whether it’s shaving a second off your best track time or trampling over your quota of uni students, the pressure to perform for a horse is immense. We don’t think it’s right that on top of that stress, we now can be sent to a pet food factory without any fair warning or reason the moment our human employer wants. What’s worse, we’re expected to work on the Melbourne Cup public holiday – and the pay is peanuts. It’s just screwy and it makes me want to kick the living bejezzus out Howard and his side-kick Captain Smirk.” Brayed Boy.

Pixie’s Prince, the NSW EWU boss and thoroughbred, rejects Harry Boy’s claims and has repeatedly denied accusations that Sydney horses are chucking a sickie or are part of some plot by the EWU or Federal Labor leader Kevin Rudd.

Neigh – Neigh!

Which means you’re so

Lucky Boris Yeltsin Is Dead!