Hubert made the mistake of leaving his computer on one night. This left it accessible to his cat JR. Hubert awoke the next day to find his hard drive completely filled with kitty porn.

For a meeting that was supposed to be a bust, the climate change talks in Copenhagen are shaping up to be the social event of the season. More than 16,000 people – including U.S. President Barack Obama, Prime Minister Stephen Harper and more than 100 other world leaders – are expected to attend.  The two-week meeting kicks off today.

Conference organizers have been playing down expectations that a binding international agreement to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions could be reached.  But recent announcements by the governments of India and China to limit their nations emissions growth have renewed hope and momentum for a deal would seem to be growing.

In the week prior to the event, India pledged to significantly slow its nation’s emissions growth over the next decade, closely following similar pledges made by the United States and China.  The announcement came on the heels of Prime Minister Manmohan Singh’s visit to Washington, D.C., where President Obama strongly urged him to attend the Copenhagen summit.

The Indian government announced it plans to reduce the ratio of pollution to production by 20 to 25 percent compared with 2005 levels, although it will not accept a legally binding emissions reduction target.

India ranks fifth in world carbon dioxide emissions, accounting for 4.7 percent of the world’s total. The US and China emit roughly 40 percent of the world’s emissions, with Russia and Indonesia completing the top five emitting countries.  Canada ranks 25th.

The new climate treaty will be replacing the Kyoto Protocol which was adopted in Kyoto, Japan, in December 1997 and entered into force on 16 February 2005. The Kyoto Protocol which sets binding targets for the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions has been signed and ratified by 184 parties of the UN Climate Convention.

M-Z

% Mice‘ first alcoholic drink? Mint julep; it’s why they despise peppermint to this day, only decorate their christmas trees with rainbow canes.

% Alt. Why do Mice hate peppermint? Candy canes remind them of their father and his (fucking) horrifying death: Santa Clausing down a chimney, his arms loaded with presents.*

% There are 602,214,141,070,409,084,099,072 Moles per burrow; never go below ground.

% Naked Mole Rats have become endangered ever since ‘digging gangs’ were found prosecutable under RICO statutes.

% (Diggers long have embezzled union dues; 85% of Volcanoers indentured slaves)

% Octopuses can squeeze their entire body inside a soda can. An impressive act of contortion outshone only by the rapid development of the cephalopod soft drink industry.

% Thus explaining their nickname, The South Koreans of the Sea.

% Pearl Oysters do not appreciate how we have besmirched their necklaces, wish we would stop knackering ourselves nacreing all over each others’ faces.

% Though intelligent, Pigs aren’t smart enough to not be delicious.

% So fuck ‘em.

% To account for their incredible reflexes/eponymous linguistic deficiencies, all Pigeon cinema is shot in 75 fps comma dubbed into adorably incompetent English.

% Quail do not actually wear their underwear outside their pants; the belt on the head thing is a half-truth.

% (It’s a cincher– the gamebird has yet to master the awl).

% The Quoll, one of Oceania’s many hilariously poorly adapted animals/barely-living jokes, is actually the past tense of the quail.

% When a quail dies, its body– its animus– (all quails are women) is mailed to Australia.

% Upon touching the down under’s magic soil, it resurrects in the form of a cat so dumb the male will kill or eat the female during sex.

% Idiots!

% Speaking of Australians, the Rabbit was intelligently designed as some of Tralfamadorian fuck you to the former prison colony and its ungainly inhabitants.

% Most Scorpions’ venom is not harmful to humans– at least not as harmful as their cutting barbs and stinging mot justes.

% The mythical ‘mermaid’ is actually the lowly Sea Cow;  their existence a fabrication spun by shamed sailors, who– too long at sea– joined-in on their down-low man-on-manatee jo sessions.

% Is it any coincidence that the legendary sea siren is an anagram for “i’d ream ‘m”?

% Other disgusting things Australians do? They sneak inside the Sea Cucumber’s multi-purpose anushole just to swim around, conceive their young.

% One look at the Tapir’s elongated snout would lead one to believe that they eat ants and termites like the similarly equipped anteater and aardvark; one would be wrong. Their nose is actually a finger by which they eat the dreams of the Chin and Japanese.

% Wong Kar-Wai’s classic film In The Mood For Love is actually an adaptation of a real life story that happened between four Termites and a hole in a tree.

% Other Wong Kar-Wai movies based on insects? Pill Bugs and Chungking Express. Gay Ants and Happy Together.

% The red face of the Uakari is objective proof of the shame of being bald.

% Umbrellabirds are so named because of their victimization at the hands of Chris Brown.

% Unaus aren’t technically adorable, as they are both unable to love, and their stringent atheistic beliefs cause them to turn back all obeisance or worship.

% Sick and tired of race traitors like Alex Trebek, Jim Carrey, Dan Aykroyd, Catherine O’Hara, and Michael J. Fox, the Canadian Porcupine, the Urson, has abandoned the United States for Canada.

% The Urubu is the only bird to– upon first menstruation– use isolation, dietary restriction, and antbites to ritually signify the coming of womanhood. That can’t be right.

% Voles are not to be trusted; though slaves themselves, they think nothing of voling out their fellow subjugatees to Skalrag for their own personal gain.

% During World War II, the Germans cross-bred Wisent with American bison in an increasingly desperate attempt to create a master race.

% The Wolverine’s dark shaggy, hydrophobic fur is a big upgrade from its old skintight, neon yellow and blue pelt.

% Xiphias gladius– that’s the latin name for the Swordfish! Suck it, Pallotta!

% While skilled saxophonists, Yaks are rarely asked to join big bands due to their penchant for zany digressions.

% Yorkshire Terriers invented pudding lame.

% Zebras, tired of always being at the end of things, have lobbied more than two dozen times for legislature that would alternate alphabetical order on a yearly basis.

% Zero chance, jerks.

———————————————————-

——————————————-

—————————–

——————

——–

-

*And that’s how they found out there was no Santa Claus.

Barbrah Kelley: Waiting – Singersroom Media Player.

I view this as an open door of  Ministry; to be posted among the R&B Music section of this site.

Some Animal Facts (in Alphabetical Order)

# Aardvarks have no close relations due to their schizoid personality. They have an order all to themselves and that is how they like it.

# Armadillo “Hoover Hogs” weren’t the only animals eaten out of desperation during the depression– there were also “Roosevelt Remoulades” (Cockroaches with Ketchup), “Churchhill Chimichangas” (Badger Face), and Hitler Berries (Rats Poops).

# Bats are of the order Chiroptera, from the Latin “chirop,” meaning sandal, and “tera,” for cat. Sandal Cat.

Alt. Bats are of the order Chiroptera,from the Latin “chiro,” meaning cinnamon, and “ptera,” for dactyl. Sticky Fingers.

Also Alt. Bats– fuck ‘em.

# Best way to stick it to a Chimp? Thumbwrestling. It is so insecure about its puny thumbs it will shatter your hand like glass.

# Have Some Respect– re: Donkeys: 1. use their Christian names, Jonathan and Jennifer; Mr. & Ms. Ass if you’re nasty, formal.

2. if granted audience with donkey royalty, always use the honorific: Your Donkeyship, Your Anus, or Your Hiney are preferred.

3. “Sir/Madam Butthole” is acceptable when conducting states’ business.

4. staunch anti-miscegenists, never mention any of the following while in court: mules, hinges, zeebrasses, zonkeys, dowse, conkeys, cronks, dabs, domain beings, hunks, Antonio Sabato Jr., underpants, dances, skonks, dittens, conkeys (II), or dodecahedronks.

# Is the Echidna’s cloaca the final step to humano-mammal trans-portal technology? No– but it does taste like fried cake.

# Boeing (BA) expects a big jump in share prices once they clear the last of the Ferret pensions from their books in 2013.

# Dendrobates (poison dart Frogs) practice aposematism, in which outward beauty portends deadly poison. This differs from the practice of afrosemitism, in which outward beauty portends Lenny Kravitz.

# 1688 – Francesco Redi shocks the world when he proves that it’s not meat that spawns Flies, but flies that spawn meat.

# Gibbons‘ syntax judged by zoolinguists to be “more than half, but less than fully illuminating”.

# A Giraffe heart is 6 feet off the ground, allowing a tribe’s tallest man to give them headbutt CPR. Thus was born the Corporal.

# Geese grief is similar to our own: they attend the fallen, wail, pump that shit full of juice, box it, bury it, and split its stuff.

# Hyena poop is bone white as a result of their ghost-rich diet; human singing was invented to ward off these defecated specters.

# The Iguana’s dewlap, or jutesuit, is an unlockable costume you can earn if you “grab the rebound” ten times in a row.

# The Jackalope– neither a playing card, nor a cantaloupe lame.

# The Kangaroo’s three vaginas are or sex, birth, and secrets (in that order).

# Koala means “No water”– a reference to how crucial the marsupials’ patronage was in germinating the masked art.

# Leeches‘ 34 brains are a tribute to their twin loves: Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon and strange porn.

“The Admiral had been thoroughly outplayed on the court– embarrassed in his own arena two nights in a row. He thought things couldn’t get any worse. Then he entered the wrong locker room…” And so on.

We shared a dream that night. A tornado pursued us. The sky was orange and the world was græy. Cars flew over head and parked airplanes from some unknown airport dragged down the street. There were flashes of lightning, blood pink as light filtered through a hand. The trees were a flurry of forces and the tornado itself was dark, desolate, void. Imminent danger filled our souls with adrenaline but our bodies stood entranced by a chilling emptiness, futility. For a fleeting moment we became death and oblivion. We passed and we awoke. We remember everything.

Abacus H.J. Abacab, the Alphabetical Comedian

What’s the deal with Marshmallows? More like Monopolymallows. Forget Bill Gates, bring me the sweet, extruded pith of Alex Doumakes! Doumakes like a tree And Show Me The Money!(!(?)).

What’s the deal with Meridians? Who put them in charge of deciding the days? Was it you?

What’s the deal with Mohawks– I mean, People of the Flint – what are they, Spark lighters?

What are they Acetylene torches?

They’re arc welders, right?

When the Six Nations would go as the Village People for Hallowe’en they’d be the Construction Worker. [Bigger question: Who had to be the cowboy? Biggest Question: And who got to be the Indian?].

People of the Flint– I’m more of a ‘Snake Eyes’ fan myself– or ‘Road Block’, now there’s a Joe you can build a longhouse around.

No, you guys are great. The pragmatism to Christianize and ally with the whites, and the tactical brilliance to choose the Dutch, the Brits, and the French.

Hey, what’s the matter? Calico cloth come late? Ooh… Fresh wounds. Fresh 215 year old wounds.

She knows what I’m talking about. {wink} I got some hard steel– how ’bout we start a fire sometime?

No? Fair enough.

What’s the deal with Mortuaries? Sounds like a pretty scary place to me!

What’s the deal with Moustaches? It’s either clean shave or kempt bush– quit fucking around, Ladies! Feels like I’m kissing Hitler.

What’s the deal with Neither? I mean, it’s one or the other, guy– choose already!

What’s the deal with Neptune? A whole planet built out of cold cow farts? We ditched Pluto and kept this? Feh.

Oh!: No wonder you could be discovered using only math– P+U {snap}

What’s the deal with Neptune? Who does he think he is? Schroedinger’s Political Prisoner? What’s he doing stayiing in Haiti? You think if the cat had the chance it wouldn’t bat away the radioactive substance/ claw the geiger counter to bits? What are you doing, Yvon?

What’s the deal with Neptune? Ditch the man who helped bring down your two worst crooks for the sleaziest sleaze who ever sluz? I’m glad your town got canceled.

What’s the deal with, uh… Noodles? I like ‘em. How about you?¹

What’s the deal with Obfuscation? It’s like, hey! I’m trying to fuscate here– quit obbin’ it up for me!

…Eyyyyyyy!

Octopus: What’s the deal with Octopuses? Shoot ink into my face and then scuttle away? Really? More like Octopussies. More like Scroctopus. Octopus.

What’s the deal with Oregon? You really think you’re gonna trick the USS Massachusetts into engaging your batteries? Really? C’mon. COME ON!

Nah. You’re ok, Oregon. Hey– Good job protecting Pass Christian… NOT!

What’s the deal with Paleontology? I’ll show you some bones if you want. Don’t need a ‘backhoe’ or a ‘team of grad students’. Just grab a spade and meet me in the woods.

What’s the deal with Placenta? Don’t shit where you eat– am I right? Am I? I am.

What’s the deal with Pomegranates? Seeds? SEEDS!? What do you think I am, a bird?

Am I?

?

Perhaps in reference to the void between atoms? Perhaps not…

You should give the tickets to me because I am easily The Goats’s biggest fan as evidenced by this list I made up:

- I always open my bags of cereal, oatmeal canisters, milk cartons, and turkeys-to-stuff with two hands.

- Instead of hyper tension I have dis tension.

- My favorite letter was capital O well before both the ascendancy of Barack Hussein Obama and That Ridiculously, If Confusingly, Hot Older Lady From The Overstock.com Ads

- My favorite facial expression is “the Gape”.

- My favorite Hanna Barbara character is Grape Ape (it sounds similar to gape?)

- My favorite episode of Freaks & Geeks is “The Garage Door”

- My favorite epic poem is The Iliad.

- Every time I go to Blockbuster I always end up renting Dead Alive.

- I refuse to ride in orange convertibles.

- My geographically inexplicable favorite team is the New England Patriots, a love which is explic’d by their unparalleled execution of the Spread offense.

- My home page is still Stile Project.

- I’m pen pages with Matt Miller.

- Rhonda Clarke has a Lifetime Restraining Order against me for the threatening message board posts and mean-spirited YTMNDs I wrote about her. I am not allowed to come within 1000 feet of her home, 500 feet of her childrens’ school, or manipulate or post her image in any viral fashion.

- Every January 14^th– after pouring one out for Louie Carroll/Ray Kroc [you choose]– I set up a mirror in front of my mirror and find my inner light.

- I have a tattoo around my navel. It is of hands.

- I haven’t felt a poop since 2001.

PLEASE GIVE ME THE TICKETS,

Thank you.

John Varvatos has only been debuting clothing lines for about ten years now, and yet he managed to rise right up to the top with the rest of the well-respected clothiers with his masculine, modern, and edgy new looks that really awakened the life back in the Men’s Market.

In other words, John Varvatos is the Jesus of Men’s fashion, and I am definitely that brother’s disciple! Every year his clothes come out with his signature essence but, yet, he continues to always inspire with new ideas and new looks. Where as some designers have become painfully predictable.. *Cough* Coach *Cough*  Varvatos does a wonderful job at creating outfits that have very sharp lines and a tailored look yet seem entirely wearable and comfortable. I mean, how many designers can take jail stripes and give them that downtown bad-ass look?

Now we know he’s got the sex appeal of a man stitched and buttoned, but is he practical for an everyday guy? Definitely ….. Not as much as I’d like. His prices, though I will defend with being ‘reasonable’ considering(!), are seemingly more of a splurge market. With his clothing ranging from $98.00 Tee Shirts to 1,500$ + Leather coats and blazers.. I suggest his store for post-break ups, for your wishlist, a Baby Gift, or any other reason you can find to drop some Benji’s.

Quality pays for itself, after all!

Liked what you saw? Check out www.johnvarvatos.com for more bad ass design and online shopping. Got any designers you think are like Varvatos or deserve some kudos? Comment and let me know!

Somewhere there are people, humanoids, who live inside a giant tree. In the center of the tree there is a chamber. Here the people leave their waste and corpses with religious determination. The tree uses this as a food source. In turn The people of this tree are provided sap and fruit. They have been living in this tree for millenia. It is nearly impossible to convince one of these people to leave their home. If you attempt to harm the tree, they will surely kill you and drop your body into the bowels of their living city.

In homage to The Campaign Magazine A List  I have created ‘The T List’, a Twitter List of the top twitterati.

You can follow it here, I’d also be keen to know who you think I should add (or remove!)?

A rundown of the movies I watched this year! In no particular order.

Bridal Wars

Transformers

Hannah Montana

Management

He’s Just Not That Into You

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Marley & Me

Inkheart

Kimmy Dora (local)

In My Life (local)

500 Days of Summer

Angels and Demons

HEEE I obviously go for the romantic comedy (uhh.. corny), feel good, uncomplicated stuff because going to the movies for me should be a relaxing activity and not brain calisthenics.

“Una paleta de sonidos más amplia, dinámica y progresiva” es lo que nos promete Jesper Kyd para la Banda Sonora de Assassin’s Creed II. Y en Ubisoft estan encantados con él, con A-List y la orquesta de Hollywood que han grabado la música en los Capitol Studios

“La música de Kyd para Assassin´s Creed II transporta al jugador al Renacimiento italiano, ofreciendo una sensación de profundidad real en los momentos más conmovedores, a la vez que suelta adrenalina con las composiciones enfocadas a la acción. Estamos encantados de tener a Kyd con nosotros, haciendo que Assassin´s Creed II sea épico en todos sus niveles“

La Banda Sonora del juego estará disponible para descarga digital el 16 de Noviembre, y si sois de los pocos afortunados de poseer una reserva de la Black Edition sabrán que la B.S.O vendrá incluida.

Fuente: HardGames2

Jonathan Ross has been presented with the 2009 Music Industry Trusts’ Award by George Michael at a charity dinner in London.

The prize, now in its 18th year, is given annually “in recognition of services to music broadcasting”.

Award organisers said Ross had provided exposure for artists since his first chat show The Last Resort in the 1980s.

Messages from Sir Tom Jones, Will Smith, U2 and Cheryl Cole were shown in a video tribute to Ross at the event.

Hollywood star Smith said: “You are important to me and to my life. This is a very prestigious award”.

Chairman of the Award committee David Munns told the audience why Ross had been chosen.

“For over two decades Jonathan Ross has been an important part of the UK music landscape and has provided valuable support to artists in challenging times,” he said.

“His passion for music, enthusiasm for discovering and encouraging musicians and the importance of his two shows for artist development, makes Jonathan Ross a worthy recipient of the 2009 MITs Award,” he added.

Source

It was halloween night. I went to the kitchen for a late supper. Inside the freezer I found a human head. The head would take too long to cook in the oven and had too many metal fillings for me to microwave. I checked the refrigerator. It was empty.

OOOoooOOOooo…

As you’ve been hearing or have already experienced firsthand, Amazon’s giving Indie Authors a real run for the money lately, making it harder and harder for the Indies to sell on their site–virtually no discounts now, no search suggestions anymore, no promotions, no nothing. This makes it more important than ever to create quality products to list on Amazon: Kindle books that are equal to or superior to the mainstream publications, and first rate paperbacks that can hold their own against unfair competition from mainstream publishers that Amazon overtly favors with major discounts, massive email marketing campaigns, site-wide promotions, etc.

It also means that the Indies will have to be more resourceful than ever, too, in driving the sales of their independently-produced titles on sites like Amazon and elsewhere.

With that in mind, if you’re an Indie Author (or publisher) of any genre, who sells on Amazon and other locations, too, we cordially invite you to post your titles FOR FREE on our blog here, *including images and active links to them, if you choose. We ask only that you NOT make your book blurbs too long-winded and that you properly place your title submissions by using the respective tabs up there on the menu bar. Note also that we won’t be pasting any PayPal ‘buy now’ buttons on our blogsite, either. (All this is intended to keep things neat and tidy for those readers just visiting us in order to peruse the Indie A-lists we’re compiling.)

And yes, there is an A-List in progress for Indie Artists as well. So, link up, musicians and filmmakers, but just be aware that the same guidelines apply as above in creating your listings, too.

Finally, a brief message to anyone considering listing titles with us: Don’t submit junk, spam, or porn links, please, because it won’t get approved by the Administrators. This is an Indie honor system and reasonable standards apply. (But that’s what an A-List is all about now, isn’t it?)

Have a great day all…and sell, sell, sell!

*Just click the ‘INDIE Store & More’ tab on the menu bar above for information on how to promote your titles here for free, with images and links to them galore.

O! The Dogs I Know!

Biscuit – tan Boxer; can retrieve slippers with minimal slobber, birthstone: sapphire; devout Scientologist.

Captain My Captain – black Mastiff; too proud to beg, Alanis Morisette wrote a song about him, degenerate gambler; it was that one where she was naked, I think.

Mr. Hollister – Great Pyrenees, white; has not moved in six years, just waiting for something that never comes; owners massage throat to promote swallowing (pre-chewed meal).

Derek – cinnamon Chow; painfully well-hung, its fat member scrapes the ground behind it as it loafingly trots forward; invented the Swatch.

Kathmandu – grey Scottish Deerhound; belonged to Eric Seger, Bob’s brother, born on the day Boston Celtics draft pick Len Bias died of a cocaine-induced heart attack, racist against Italians; ironically, died of a cocaine overdose on the same day Boston Celtics star Reggie Lewis died of a heart attack that probably wasn’t caused by cocaine.

Tiffany – mostly white Whippet painted robin’s egg blue; blood type: extra thick, has to wear two sweaters, double-stuff dogpants to compensate for the low-body temperature resulting; functionally illiterate.

Bend It Like Beckham – yellow-y French Bulldog; will only eat carrots, is color blind, cannot actually play soccer; can be tricked into eating a turnip shaved to carrot shape.

Ping Pong – grey, black & white Keeshond; always has a snot bubble that it does not appropriately maintain (destroy), is learning how to make the tapioca orbs that go in bubble tea; also racist against Italians.¹

One Term President William Howard Taft – an aging yellow Pointer; tried to kill me once by knocking me into the street as traffic whizzed by; could not be more dissimilar to namesake– low body-mass index, is a devout Catholic and staunch Libertarian, has never even BEEN to Ohio, and could not, for the life of her get into Skull & Bones; does, however, have abundant facial hair.

Chateaubriand – black Briard; tender, loinful, not as delicious as some would have you believe; owners are awfully litigious

BONUS DOG: Gandalf the Dog – white Afghan; “Temperament: Aloof and dignified, yet gay;” lol.

My Dream Vending Machine

A1: Oatmeal Cream Pie (large)

A2: Gummi Bears

A3: Apple Fritter

A4: A perfectly ripened Plum

A5: Cadbury Cream Egg

B1: Nerds Rope

B2: Pistachios (pre-shelled, lightly peppered)

B3: A Snake that smells like my Dad’s Hands

B4: The feeling of tightly-packed Sand beneath my Fingernails

B5: Fried Dough

C1: A series of Invisible Trains that stalk the corridors of A Maze that there is No Way Out Of

C2: Candy Buttons

C3: M&Ms (Peanut)

C4: Falling

C5: Falling as a Direct Result of Explicitly Trying Not to Fall

D1: Circus Peanuts

D2: Circus Tickets by which the Clowns find a way into your Home (at night)

D3: Avocado & Chips

D4: The Police Car from Dr. Leong’s Waiting Room

D5: The Credits from Highway to Heaven ad infinitum / Dried Papaya (alternating)

E1: It’s my Junior High mashed-up with my High School, and I can’t remember (for the life of me) Which Period Is What Class nor Where That Class Could (for the life of me) Be

E2: Gym takes place on the Bank of a Particularly Brackish River and the Locker Room is only 6 Feet Tall (Slanting Down) but, spotted with Latch-Broken Chemical Toilet Stalls, stretches for some long forever.

E3: Grape or Banana Laffy Taffy (alternating)

E4: Your mouth forming Words in my Ear that I for-some-reason Can’t Understand; no tears, but in your eyes you are crying

E5: Butter Finger

F1: I am Crying, Begging my parents Not To Get Divorced; they have no idea what I am talking about But Agree To Stay Together Anyways

F2: Crocodile in the House!

F3: Did I Actually Kill Someone In Real Life? I wake up multiple times (in the dream) to find that I have in fact and that this is not a dream and that my life is irrevocably changed as a result of my Action

F4: Delicious Cape Cod Chips

F5: Peeing (on Accident)

G1: Peeing (on Purpose)

G2: You Fucking Somebody Else

G3: General Facelesness

G4: Lion in the House!

G5: Shark Bites / Gushers (alternating)

H1: Wint-o-Green Lifesavers

H2: Wint-o-Green Lifesavers (partially unwrapped)

H3: Wint-o-Green Lifesavers (that smell like my dad’s hands, pocket)

H4: Animal Crackers

H5: The Things We Did And Didn’t Do

H6: Lifesavers Classic 5-Color Roll

H7: The Synaesthetic Conflation of the Feeling of Winding my Childhood Music Box and its  Stuttered Strains of “You Are My Sunshine”/Wint-o-Green Lifesavers (alternating)

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He warned but I didn’t listen. He said, “I am the only one who can tolerate these peppers and I am the only one who knows how to prepare them properly.” Instead of listening to him I followed superstitious advice from superstitious people. Many believed that real reason that the man refused to share his recipe was because the peppers were imbibed with magical powers. The temptation os such a legendary vegetable can be quite great.

Besides, it wasn’t as if I was untrained. I was the reining champion when it came to the mass consumption of spicy goods. Give me anything from anywhere in the world, I thought, I’ll hardly be able to taste it. That’s how I expected things to go in my head. In reality, the peppers were like nothing I had ever consumed to date. Even if I had prepared them properly doubt that there is any sure way to dull their intensity.

After only a few minutes, my mouth was on fire and my belly was filled with black smoke. I needed something to drink. There was nothing available. This was devil pepper country. This was desert. I managed to hitch hike to the nearest mountain lake. By the time we arrived I could barely talk because I felt so dry and charred inside. I ran-stumbled down to the water’s edge and  took a huge drought. I was so thirsty. I just kept on drinking. Soon the lake was drained dry. I wasn’t finished yet. I was still spouting smoke-rings and brimstone like some demonic locomotive. I sprinted for the coast. I can make it I thought. I have to.

I did make it there. I drank deeply, for how long I can’t be sure. All I know is that when I finished I had sucked the whole planet dry.

On the bright side, this was a growing experience for me. I am no longer as cocky or hasty as I once was.

So it’s Thanksgiving/Black Friday as I type this…in Korea it’s just another ordinary work day, but at least it’s a Friday.  For those who celebrate and get time off from work and get to see family or friends, Happy Thanksgiving!  In a year I’m sure that will be me, at least I hope so!!

Here in my corner of the world, I am anticipating a very Koroot Thanksgiving tomorrow evening and a work-related Thanksgiving tomorrow afternoon.  My days here are numbered so I’m trying to not crawl into an abyss and wait for the days to just pass.  Sometimes I feel like doing that, but I know that’s not the wisest approach.

My Thanksgiving meal (on the actual day) was very spicy tofu and rice.  I washed it down with a soy latte.  Yum.

As a child I was told that Thanksgiving is a time to think about what you’re thankful for.  I try to do this daily, but in a conscious effort to do so, here’s my list:

I’m thankful for:

• Being able to experience living in Korea
• My friends from all over the world
• My boyfriend
• My job stability in Korea
• Loving Hut locations in Seoul
• My parents, brother and sister-in-law, and the support of extended family
• My health
• My optimism – even when I feel negative, I know I have it sooooo good.
• My safety – sure we’re all at risk in some ways with random acts of terror, but in general I do not live in fear as so many others do…
• My spirituality
• My wealth – I never worry about where the next meal is going to come from or if I can pay my bills.
• Green tea lattes.
• …and seriously, so much more!!!