Reading the news each day, we sadly see people who have no concern whatsoever for the children of this world. Children are always being hurt by some stranger or close family friends, but the worst of some is when a parent of that child does something.

I am tired of reading the news and hearing about mothers who are throwing their children into trash cans, especially when most states have safe haven laws. The only great thing is, most of these children are discovered by someone and are able to be rescued and given a chance to have a good life. The mothers deserve to be in jail for the rest of their life, because the fact to thrown their newborn baby into a trash cans shows that they have no regard whatsoever for human life.

Now we also have the women or men who do keep their children and become horrible parents. They scream, hurt, molest, sell, and etc their children. In a lot of these cases, especially dealing with the selling, we are seeing women who are doing it to get money for some horrible habit they they have in their life. Some parents do the things they do because there is just something wrong in their head that makes then have no soul. For one can not have a soul and do the things they do. We take a look at some recent events in the news, where young girls have been locked away for years, raped and children were conceived through the rape. Something is clearly wrong with our society that these things can happen for so long and people take a blind eye to everything.

There are also the women who kill their kids and I say women because sadly…most of the killers are women. Most famously known person is Andrea Yates. She drowned her 5 kids in the bathtub and then called police. She was found guilty, but got a retrial and was then pronounce insane….which is sad. There was proof she chased the last child around the house to kill him…how is that insane? She knew what she was doing and a jury let her get away with murder. There was also the case of the woman who put her kids in their car seats and let her car sink to the bottom of a lake. She killed her kids because her lover broke up with her, because he did not want to be a step-dad. She made headlines for not only doing this,but giving the artist an average description of a black man. She was known for her lack of emotion for her children in interviews.

Now there are men who commit these crimes. In Baltimore a man threw his children off the key bridge. If I am correct, I am not even sure if all the bodies have been found. He has been found guilty I believe and I think part of his reasoning for doing this was he had lost custody. I am not trying to imply that men are not as guilty as women, they are. My point is that when it deals with things happening to children, we do see a pattern that women commit these crimes more then women. True most molestation cases are done by men and not by women…no matter the gender of the children at times.

Children are suppose to be the future, they are innocent victims in this world. Laws have to be different and people need more help. I can not say that I understand why people do these things, because when we take away those who are hig or drunk…we are left with those who do these things because they like to do them. People need more help in this world, because if more and more people were not so sick, there would be a more children in this world.

Remember, to look at the world With Your Own Eyes Wide Open

Documents the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints (FLDS), a polygamist religious sect on the Utah/Arizona border headed by Warren Jeffs.

Via DocChannel

This evening I had the horrible task of documenting all the stuff that we’ve found out and seen on the Social Media networking sites, for what I can only refer to as an “Abuse Report”, for the school. I phoned earlier this afternoon to ask if any progress had been made, and sadly, the answer is No.

I also had to record all the nasty incidents that have taken place during the last 4-5 weeks. There has been a spitting of something into my daughter’s hair today – how disgusting is that? Another spate of abuse and language you wouldn’t want to read over on Facebook – still, at least I have a clear, full colour printout of that one.

I did report the spitting incident to the Form Tutor when we talked this afternoon and he assured me that he’s mentioning it to his Line Manager in an email. She may be able to call me on Wednesday… how reassuring (not!)

It’s still a very stressful time for us and I know that it won’t be over quickly. I have emailed Anti-bullying Cornwall though, and attached a copy of all the documents and the report for their reference too. I am covering all my bases this time – and taking no prisoners.

My eventual aim is to help make the school a safe place for everyone – make it Bully-Proof…

Dominic Carter, cable news personality and political talking head extraordinaire, has been convicted in the attempted assault of his wife, Marilyn Carter.

The move comes as a shock to fans of the longtime New York television staple, who has become the indelible voice of truth and reason as it pertains to local and state politics.

The decision stems from an incident that occurred nearly one year ago, after 52-year-old Marilyn told local authorities of her husband’s abusive ways, claiming that he hit her. Photos of Mrs. Carter, that highlighted a swollen lip, bruised legs, arms, and a cut ear, convinced court officials that she was indeed telling the truth. Strangely enough, she later recanted the entire ordeal after taking the witness stand.

Carter was officially charged with third-degree assault after it was maintained that Marilyn had not sustained “impairment of physical condition or substantial pain.”

The star of “Inside City Hall” is facing a maximum of three months in prison, a lightly sobering sentence that lawyers say he plans to appeal.

 

Ontario stands firm on street racing law Toronto Star  A judge overturned the stunt-driving conviction of Jane Raham, 62, of Oakville who accelerated past a truck to get out of its blind spot. A second Ontario judge has ruled that the province’s stunt driving legislation is unconstitutional, but provincial police say they will continue to lay charges under the so-called street racing law.A street-racing charge automatically leads to a conviction, which can carry a minimum fine of $2,000, an immediate driver suspension and vehicle impoundment, as well as a maximum jail sentence of six months.Justice Peter West, a provincial court judge in Newmarket, found that an accused driver’s Charter rights are “clearly infringed” by the potential jail time because the law doesn’t permit the person to put forward a defence. More than 15,000 drivers have been charged under the stunt driving laws since they were introduced in 2007, Ont. street-racing law constitutional, says AG CTV.ca

Judge tosses stunt-driving charge as unconstitutional National Post

EVEN COPS DO NOT THINK SPEEDING IS A SERIOUS CRIME…

Feb. 10 2009 4:35:51 PM  The Canadian Press  TORONTO — It appears no one is exempt from Ontario’s street racing law — including the police. A provincial police officer in an unmarked vehicle was stopped on Highway 403 on Jan. 31 for driving 65 km/h over the limit. Det.-Const. Heidi Fischer was charged after an investigation determined she was “not within the lawful execution of her duties at the time.” Because she was charged with exceeding the speed limit by more than 50 km/h, her driver’s licence was suspended for seven days — and her police vehicle was also impounded for a week..

ALL THESE HARSHER POLICE DEMANDS ARE MAKING CANADA  A  POLICE STATE

http://picasaweb.google.com/anonconformer/Thenonconformer# OR http://www.mininova.org/tor/3176107

And do see  also the other posts here about bad cops, alcohol and speeding.. 

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/09/10/the-unfortunate-facts-of-life/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/06/15/bullies-free-speech/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/drink-alcohol-and-die/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/alcohol/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/03/19/third-police-vehicle-impounded-under-hypocrtical-speeding-legislation/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/02/08/drunk-driving-arrests-jump/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/a-blatant-tax-on-the-motorist-speed-cameras/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/09/16/call-it-what-you-want-but-it-is-not-about-safety/

http://thenonconformer.multiply.com/journal/item/1/No_cop_is_above_the_law

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/12/26/paradoxically-despite-all-the-dangers-warnings/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/09/19/pretentious-incompetent-in-real-life/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/09/10/speeding-is-not-the-major-cause-of-car-accidents-still/

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Mothers have evolved throughout the millennia to play with their infants.

Having the ability to engage in healthy play has evolved through the millennia to build healthy body-nervous system-brain-mind selves in our species.  Play happens when the world is a friendly place to be.  Play TELLS us that the world is a friendly place to be.

When the environment surrounding mother and infant-child is benevolent, healthy play is most usually present.  This benevolence in the environment is then built into the growing-developing offspring.

When the environment surrounding mother and infant-child is hostile, toxic, lacking in essential survival qualities and therefore is malevolent, a mother’s ability to engage in healthy play with her offspring is interfered with.

Thus, the absence of healthy playfulness between mother and offspring signal the developing infant-child on every physiological level that trauma exists in its world.  The offspring will then be forced to change and adapt to the best of its physiological abilities to prepare itself for a lifetime within a malevolent world.

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Healthy playfulness between a mother and her offspring only happens to the degree that the environment is safe and secure enough to allow this play to happen.

If a mother grew and developed in her own early childhood in a world that signaled her body-nervous system-brain-mind self that the world was malevolent, she is most likely carrying unresolved trauma within herself that then signals to her offspring that the world is malevolent.  Her offspring will then have to change according to the trauma-present-in-the-world message just as its mother did.

Both mother and infant-child will then suffer from a lack of safety and security perceived as permanent and real by their physiological development.  When trauma is present, healthy play is interfered with because our evolution has designed our species so that degree, quality, kinds of, presence of healthy play and playful attitudes directly indicate the degree of either benevolence or malevolence in the world.

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I am not talking about play as we might think about it in today’s world.  This kind of play has nothing to do with toys or ’stuff’.  Healthy play that signals to offspring the condition of the world is about direct face-to-face interaction between mother and infant-child.  The presence of a world safe and secure enough to allow for this kind of play between early caregivers and offspring has operated throughout our evolution.

It was only when the world because safe and secure enough, adequate and benevolent enough for this level of play to grow and thrive that humans ever achieved powers of speech at all (only about 140,000 years ago).  The physiological systems within our body and brain had to have already evolved sophisticated organizational and orientational abilities to have ever allowed our powers of speech to manifest in the first place because speech uses all those preexisting abilities.

Any time trauma happens it always disrupts ongoing coherent life.  If trauma cannot be resolved, consequences happen.  Dissociation represents one of the fundamental consequences of a being’s inability to resolve trauma.  Dissociation continues to affect a mother because its very existence means that something malevolent occurred that was not able to be resolved.

A dissociating mother thus communicates her state of unresolved trauma to her offspring primarily through an interruption in her ability to engage in healthy play and playful attitudes with her offspring.  The key to healthy playfulness between a mother and her offspring is that it is APPROPRIATE.

Appropriate, and therefore healthy play and playfulness between a mother and her offspring, the kind of play that then signals the offspring to grow an entire body geared for life in a benevolent world, happens when the mother’s entire focus is on fostering the well-being of her infant-child.

Mother’s have evolutionarily evolved to respond appropriately to their offspring so that their play-filled responses do not overwhelm, over stimulate or under stimulate them.  When a mother has experienced enough trauma during her own development that incoherency in the form of dissociation has been built into her entire body, she is not likely to be able to operate from this optimal, benign, benevolent-world-condition state within herself.  She will then communicate her own preexisting, unresolved trauma states directly to her offspring.

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Terror, pain and trauma interrupt play and the ability to play.  This lack of play and the ability to play then acts as a direct signal that communicates malevolence in the world.  When healthy play and playfulness exist, they happen in a safe and secure world, not in the midst of trauma.

A mother who does not carry unresolved trauma into her interactions with her offspring will be able to focus on the well-being of her offspring and demonstrate the benevolence of the world to her developing infant-child through her healthy, appropriate play and playfulness with it.

These interactions operate from birth to form first the right, limbic, emotional, social brain.  As the infant-child continues to grow, the foundation of play or its absence, built within its body-nervous system-brain-mind-self will further influence the development of its later-forming left brain, the connection between the two hemispheres of its brain, and the development of its higher-processing cortical abilities.

A non-dissociating mother is able to have appropriate hopes, dreams, wishes and desires for the well-being of her offspring.  She will automatically be able to orient herself and organize her interactions with her offspring.  Her goal, destination, direction and purpose regarding her offspring will be benevolent.  This benevolence will be communicated through safety and security that manifests itself in healthy play and playfulness toward her offspring.

A dissociating mother will experience breaks in her ongoing interactions with her offspring that will vary in degree according to the changes that had to happen to her during her own development in a malevolent early environment.

In my case, my mother’s dissociation toward me was extreme, fundamental and complete.  In her psychosis she believed that I was evil, that I tried to kill her while I was being born, that I was not human, and that I was sent to be a curse on her life.  Her psychotic dissociation in-formed every interaction she ever had with me from the time I was born.

My mother’s unresolved trauma, manifesting itself in her dissociation, prevented her from ever being able to respond to me with anything like appropriate, healthy play or playfulness.  She was not able to consider my well-being because she could never understand that I was a separate entity from her.  I was merely and continually the recipient of her slit-off projection of her intolerable perception of her own badness.

She not only could not have playful interactions with me that I needed to build a non-trauma centered body-nervous system-brain-mind-self, but her psychosis was so severe that she prevented ME from ever being able to play at all.

++++

The absolute disturbance in the necessary operation of play in my childhood directly ties into my own dissociation.  The trauma I experienced in the malevolent environment of my childhood could not possibly be integrated into a coherent self.  However, as a mother to my own children I was able to know they were separate beings from me, and I was able to focus as much as I possibly could on them and on the development of their well-being.

In other words, I was able to organize and orient a ‘mothering self’ within me that existed to foster the development of my children.  Because I could do this, I could offer to them enough play and playfulness that it communicated to them a relative lack of trauma in the world and enough of a sense of safety and security in the world that I did not pass my unresolved trauma onto them.

They did not have perfect childhoods because the unresolved trauma and the changes that had to happen to me so that I could survive my childhood affected every other aspect of my being-in-the-world, and therefore DID affect them.  But these problems were MINE and I was able to keep them myself.  I did not force them INTO my children the way my mother forced her unresolved trauma INTO growing and developing me.

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As we return in our thoughts to consider our infancy and childhood through the lens of playfulness and play or its absence, we can become much more clear about how our caregivers’ unresolved trauma — or the absence of it — operated to directly communicate to our growing and developing body on all its levels what the condition of the world was like.

If appropriate and healthy play and playfulness was there for us, it is during those experiences that we were developing in an ‘ordinary’ way.  If it was absent, some degree of trauma was present, and we were forced at those times in our development to try to adapt to that malevolency.

Who we are today and how we are in our bodies in the world is directly connected to play and playfulness because it is only in times of safety and security that play exists at all.

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On Sunday afternoon in  a Fayetteville, North Carolina church, Manna Church, the world,family and friends said goodbye to Shaniya Davis. Shaniya had captured the heart of the world, after it was discovered that her own mother had sold her into bondage as a sex slave,to Mario McNeill, who brutally raped and murdered the little child.

More than 2000 people were inside the church to support Bradley Lockhart, Shaniyas dad, and the man who made the decision to send Shaniya back to her mother,after having raised the child for the full 5 years of her life,which directly led to her death.

“Don’t let God’s words and don’t let his actions get you down,” Lockhart told the packed congregation. “He did this for a reason.”

Shaniya Davis funeral was open to the public and was standing room only.Lockhart urged the 1,500 crowded into Manna Church and another 500 watching the service from an adjacent building to help the community’s needy, according to press reports.

As mourners filled the church, a photo display of Shaniya Davis was streamed on the overhead projector. Never before released photos of Shaniya were displayed. These photos showed Shaniya with her father, Bradley Lockhart and her siblings.

Lockhart said, “Shaniya, Daddy love you honey. And I know you’re gonna’ be waiting for me … I’ll see you when I get there.”

White doves were released at her graveside as the little child Shaniya was laid to her eternal resting place.

Click on the link below to view a comprehensive sideshow of pictures covering the Shaniya Davis funeral…

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/10/01/crimesider/entry5356401.shtml

What the hell is up with food service companies making grandiose philosophical claims?

Wendy’s latest jingle is some lackadaisical folk twit asserting that “you know when it’s real” — glad to hear it, Mr. Russell, now impress me with your airtight analysis! Oh, you’re not? Oh, you’re just going to pitch a burger using sixth and seventh generation xerox clones of The Office characters? Yeah? Shit.

But it’s probably not worth adding that “you know when it’s real” reflects the biggest package of recidivist dubious in the entire philosophy of knowledge, when Church’s follows up by claiming to know “what good is.” Never mind the hemlock, the deans of “proper” philosophy can’t even figure out whether “to be” applies. It’s a good thing our chicken vendors are working overtime to make up for it.

The latest ad I compulsively mute is one for AT&T U-Verse, depicting a family so determined to watch their respective shows that they’re willing to hold one another at remote-control-point to ensure nobody records over them — a cutesy pastiche of shooter movies with abysmal, godawful acting (even by ad standards) that everyone involved should be ashamed of.

The Wall Street Journal, the well respected financial newpaper has revealed today that early data suggest “suicide rates up”. Sadly, SpiritHappy cannot brag that we have told you so all year along…this is a sad truth that will not surprise our readers

We have been shouting this all year long that suicide rates are up and we have helped people in 8 different countries worldwide take back the control over depression and suicidal thoughts.

Do not wait for government officials..Bush..Obama..or anyone in the media to finally get around to addressing  your mental health. You must take back the control of your own depression, self harm cutting and suicidal thoughts

HERE IS THE WALL ST JOURNAL QUOTE: Available data, still incomplete, suggest that this recession, like past ones, coincided with an uptick in suicides. The data from 19 states find an increase in suicides in the recessionary year of 2008 from 2007. Those states historically account for about half of annual suicides in the U.S. Calls to suicide hotlines are rising. And suicides in the workplace and the military — a small sliver all of self-inflicted deaths — were up in 2008

Please do not wait for others to” get around to you” suicide rates are up because people are hurting NOW

Our 2 best selling reports have done much to help people worldwide in only 1 year! 8 countries in only 1 year

The Suicide and Depression stopper “Why you don’t want to live” see here http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/7553469-why-you-don-t-want-to-live

and Self harm stopper “The Red Report” http://www.tradebit.com/filedetail.php/5620600-the-red-report-cure-teen-and-adult

These are full reports with scientific backed data that will help you heal

The popularity of our reports are in the fact that you heal alone and in private, you practice the techniques in private and you take back the control of you

Love Source and Others

If you’re in a relationship with a passive aggressive, whether it be a spouse, partner, your mother, etc. being fore-warned is being fore-armed. If you want to spend this or any holiday pleasantly, without upset, here are some steps you must take and some things you must first understand.

The first thing when spending the holidays with a passive aggressive is to always have a “plan B”. Your whole life more likely than not, is made up of small sabotages. Why do we allow ourselves to think because it’s a special day that things will be different? If you think this even for a second, you are already setting yourself up to be disappointed and upset.

The second tip: Never leave anything really important up to the passive aggressive. If it means you have to do everything yourself in order to preserve the day, then that’s the way it will have to be. Whatever you do leave up to them, see tip 1 above. If you’re going to a passive aggressive’s house for dinner, say your mother or sister, etc. and there is a part of the meal that’s very important to you, tell them you’ll bring it. I have a friend allergic to peanuts and every time she goes to dinner she can’t eat dessert, even though the whole family knows of her allergies. Now she takes a dessert herself so that she can be indulging after dinner with everyone else. There are some things all the fake apologies in the world just won’t fix.

Tip 3: If your passive aggressive is always late, waits until the last minute to get dressed, drags their feet you have two choices instead of getting upset. 1) tell them you have to leave a half hour earlier than you really do, or 2) if you have 2 cars be prepared to leave when you’re ready to leave and let them meet you there. If you’re having people to your house, once again tell the passive aggressive guests will be arriving about a half hour earlier than when you really expect them 2) don’t count on your passive aggressive to do anything helpful to get ready for them, unless he/she really likes having guests over and entertaining.

If you’re dating a passive aggressive, expect them to be late if they show up at all. I had a husband once that stayed in the bar and bragged about how I had a big Thanksgiving dinner at home waiting for him. By the time he wondered home we had all eaten and I had everything cleaned up and put away. I didn’t make excuses for why he wasn’t there. It was the way it was. Our trying to excuse their behavior is part of how they keep getting away with it.

Now for one of the hardest tips of all. If you have a passive aggressive spouse or partner, etc. that you are spending the holidays with and they are the type that makes rude comments or snide remarks in front of other people, you are not going to retrain them today. If you haven’t stopped this behavior already, you’re too late to not have it continue in front of family and friends for the holidays. The most important thing you can do is not react to whatever is said. Now you know why I said it’s the hardest.

You can 1)snipe back in humor which may shut them up. It’s worked quite well for me in the past, but then you can’t be surprised if they spend the rest of the time sulking like a small child. 2) If you just ignore it and go past it, odds are he/she will either prove what an ass they are by steadily getting worse on the comments, or they will get bored and go on to something else. If what they are doing/saying doesn’t get to you, they aren’t getting the reaction they want which is for you to “lose it”, odds are they will stop.

If you’ve spent more than one holiday with this person or these people (in case it’s your whole family) and they are passive aggressive, you know what to expect. This year do something different. Expect it to be the same as it has been. It is insane to think that by some miracle these people are going to change, but we can change how we react to them.

The room is recreated with exquisite attention to detail: a scribbled price list for sexual services on a whiteboard. A large bowl with condoms spilling onto the end table. Half-used lipstick scattered among twisted thongs, high heels and toilet paper. A sickly perfume-type smell that clings to the torn wallpaper. A grimy stained bed designed to shudder under the weight of invisible, moving bodies. Men’s voices that alternately issue commands and groans.

The room is part of an immersive art exhibit, “Journey,” that depicts the experience of being a sex trafficking victim. The installation, made of seven shipping containers, was opened on Monday on Washington Place near Washington Square Park and will be open through Sunday. Visitors under 17 must be accompanied by an adult.

The exhibit is a collaboration of a dozen artists and was done under the aegis of the Helen Bamber Foundation, a British group that works with survivors of torture and abuse. Developed with a budget of 70,000 British pounds, “Journey” was originally shown in Trafalgar Square in London in September 2007, and now travels internationally.

The exhibit is a brainchild of Emma Thompson, the Oscar-winning British actress, who introduced the installation at a press conference with Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on Tuesday morning.

Ms. Thompson, who is chairwoman of the foundation, said she became aware of the issue of human trafficking when she was introduced to a woman who had essentially been a slave at a massage parlor that Ms. Thompson walked by every day on the way to the London subway “I was mentally, completely excoriated by it,” Ms. Thompson said. The inspiration for the project came from the woman’s request that people be able to understand, “just for five minutes, what it’s like.”

London and New York are hubs for human trafficking, though the victims’ countries of origin vary. London has many from Eastern Europe and Africa, and New York sees more from Latin America and Asia.

At the news conference, the mayor also announced a $2 million multilingual public advertising campaign to raise awareness of human trafficking. The campaign, which is to start in March, has the slogan “It’s happening here” and will include advertisements on buses, bus shelters and other media, said Norma Abbene, deputy counsel to the mayor, who is overseeing the campaign.

New York, Florida and California are all centers for human trafficking, according to Carol Robles-Roman, deputy mayor for legal affairs — New York, in large part, because it is a transportation hub with three airports, two of them international. The problem spills outside city boundaries. Long Island has also been identified as a region where trafficking is rampant.

The ads, which are designed by New York University students, will try to alert people to the existence of covert slavery. “When you walk, it’s in plain sight, but you don’t see it,” Ms. Abbene said. The campaign will use the languages that dominate in specific neighborhoods. At minimum, the languages will include Arabic, Chinese, Haitian creole, Korean, Russian and Spanish. Funds will come from outside sources, rather than from the city budget, Ms. Abbene said.

The advertisements dovetailed with the arrival of “Journey.” Each of the exhibit’s seven shipping containers are named for a different stage of human trafficking: “Hope,” “Journey,” “Uniform,” “Bedroom,” “Customer,” “Stigma” and “Resurrection.”

Contributing artists include Anish Kapoor, a winner of the Turner Prize; Sandy Powell, an Oscar-winning costume designer; MODE2, a British artist; Simon Stephens, a playwright; and James Oster, a photographer.

Mr. Oster went to six brothels in three British cities and hired prostitutes to take pictures of him, which were assembled for the “Customer” exhibit. It is unusual to have so many artists working on a mutual goal, he said. “There is so much ego in art,” said Mr. Oster, who flew in from London for the opening. “To remove the ego, to have a common objective, is brilliant.”

The exhibit is open at the following times: Tuesday through Friday, from noon to 8 p.m.; Saturday, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Sunday, Nov. 15, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

source: http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/10/art-show-shines-light-on-sex-traffickings-victims/

Just something I wrote about how “alienation” is used as an excuse not to listen to kids

“Alienation”

You say my mom alienates me

And pay no mind to me

When I’m telling you that what I say is true

My father did hurt me last night

But you don’t care at all

You shrug it off as my mom’s fault

And tell me I have to be good

My father beat my sister last night

I could hear her screams

I cried because I could not help her

And could not block the screams

When I told you this, you told me to be good

And said that I could only see my mom if I did not tell a soul

I am still haunted by my sister’s screams

But you just shrug it off

As something, that my mom told me

And pay no mind to me

A teen boy is punching a girl while on a school bus.

My first question is:

• What the fuck is the bus driver not pulling over?
• Why the hell no one is getting help?
• Out of all these kids, Why fight the girl?
• Why did it take so long for another girl to even break up the fight?

But the killing part is that right at the :22 mark the other girl just walks up and says “Chill out Terrell, stop..fa real..before you get in trouble” and then walks back to her seat. The boy stops. If that is all it took then she should of jumped in like :22 seconds ago.
WTF?!?!?

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Has there ever been a time since the moment I was born when I wasn’t lost?  I don’t think so.  (Maybe I didn’t even find my way to my right mother!)

I just found a piece of paper lying face down on the floor by my computer chair.  I was looking for something to write a telephone number down on so I could order some yarn so I can warp my loom.  I tore the bottom off of this paper and used it.  This is what was on the top half:

January 14, 1988

The years go by.

I want a dream

a vision

something I can live by

Art Therapy

living in Albuquerque

Yet if I’m empty inside — then what?

It’s so easy to forget what I’m doing and why.

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This must have fallen out of something in my pile of journals.  The cats love to tumble around and must have knocked it loose.  I feel disheartened reading this, realizing this was written just after I made the decision to apply for art therapy graduate school.

Whenever I have stopped to think back at that stage of my life, I have always ‘remembered’ that I knew what I was doing then, or certainly that I didn’t know what I know now about how lost I’ve been all of my life.  I didn’t know I felt lost — even then — even after making such a big decision for my life and my future.  Or so I thought….

This paper shows otherwise.  It makes me MAD and SAD to see this lostness I still feel now WAS with me back then — yet why would I think it would not have been?  Has any decision I’ve ever made in my life ever moved me off of my dead center spot of being lost?

What have I been thinking these past 21 years?  That I have only been lost some of the time?  That I have ever had a reprieve?  True, I had hope then that led me to move with my children from northern Minnesota to New Mexico by fall 1988 and complete graduate school (1990) to become a nationally registered art therapist.  But what good did that effort do me?

I guess I better scoot back from my keyboard.  My tears might short circuit it.  Then where would I be?  It surprises me how quickly the tears came once I began to write this.  It’s a good thing I have a soon-to-be delicious organic chocolate cake (mix from our local food co-op) baking itself in my oven; I hear the egg timer ticking.

Healthy, right? And it has a matching organic chocolate frosting mix to go with it!

Tick, tick, tick.  There go the years of my life.  I would not be this lost if I had not had my mother for a mother.  I wouldn’t even be this lost if she had at least let me PLAY — at all — in my childhood.  What a strange realization.  What a true one.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was going to make the following easier to read, but just don’t have it in me right now.  There’s a lot of information here — even just for scan reading.  I know it is about my dissociated mother, who was a professional at making me her dissociated daughter!  It’s about everyone’s mother who was borderline or otherwise dissociated, including depressed.

Maternal dissociation is directly connected to a mother’s inability to play with her infant, a critical participatory activity between mother and infant that builds the right limbic emotional social brain and conditions the infant’s nervous system.

My mother was so sick that her inability to be playful with me she ended up so abusing me that she interrupted my play-brain-growth by preventing my play and by distorting my attempts to be a child throughout my entire childhood.

When a mother dissociates (especially in rage) while in interaction with her young infant the infant’s developing brain-mind essentially ‘falls through its own cracks’.  Dissociation is, I firmly believe, directly communicated from the mother’s brain and nervous system to the infant as it grows and develops its own brain and nervous system.  The long term consequence of this harmful degree of dissociation is being lost in one’s own life.

++++

You will need to know this before you take a look at the link below:

Dissociation in mothers affects how the nervous system in her infant develops.

The ANS, or autonomic nervous system has two branches, or arms.

One arm is the sympathetic branch, or the GO part of our ANS.

The other arm is the parasympathetic branch, or the STOP part of our ANS.  I remember which is which by thinking ‘pair a brakes’ for ‘para’ — STOP.

Dissociation in the mother is communicated to the infant and destabilizes the ‘ordinary’ development of the infant’s ANS.  The information below relates to maternal dissociation:

+SCHORE ON BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM DEVELOPMENT

________________________________
From: niladri_shekhar_das_in <niladri_shekhar_das_in@yahoo.co.in>
To: saveindianfamily@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Fri, November 13, 2009 1:02:00 PM
Subject: [SaveIndianFamily] Re: List of articles exchanged during marraige – Format

 
The Judgement dated 21st August, 2007 PRADEEP NANDRAJOG, J. states:

Now-a-days, exorbitant claims are made about the amount spent
on marriage and other ceremonies and on dowry and gifts. In some cases claim is made of spending crores of rupees on dowry without disclosing the source of income and how funds flowed. I consider time has come that courts should insist upon disclosing source of such funds and verification of income from tax returns and police should insist upon the compliance of the Rules under Dowry
Prohibition Act and should not entertain any complaint, if the rules have not been complied with. Rule 2 of the Dowry Prohibition (Maintenance of List of Presents to the Bride and Bridegroom) Rules, 1985 reads as under:

2. RULES IN ACCORDANCE WITH WHICH LISTS OF PRESENTS ARE TO BE MAINTAINED.-
(1) The list of presents which are given at the time of the marriage to the bride shall be maintained by the bride.

(2) The list of presents which are given at the time of the marriage to the bridegroom shall be maintained by the bridegroom.

(3) Every list of presents referred to in Sub-rule (2)-
(a) shall be prepared at the time of the marriage or as soon as possible after the marriage;

(b) shall be in writing;

(c) shall contain:

(i) a brief description of each present;

(ii) the approximate value of the present;

(iii) the name of the person who has given the present; and

(iv) where the person giving the present is related to the bride or
bridegroom, a description of such relationship.

(d) shall be signed by both the brides and the bridegroom.

And the full judgement

============ ========= ========= ========= =
IN THE HIGH COURT OF DELHI AT NEW DELHI

Bail Application No.1711/2007

Smt.Surjit Kaur Chopra …….. Petitioner

VERSUS
$ State and Anr. …….
Respondents

Bail Application No.1716/2007

Sh.Harbhajan Singh Chopra …….. Petitioner

VERSUS
$ State and Anr. ……. Respondents

Present: Mr.K.T.S. Tulsi, Senior Advocate with
Mr.Karan Singh, Mr.Santosh Chaurihar,
Mr.Miraj Kain and Mr.Ravinder Singh,
Advs. for the petitioner.
Mr.Anil Soni for the State.

Mr.K.K.Manan, Mr.Tarun Goomber,
Mr.Rishikesh Choudhary and
Mr.Gaurav Goswami for respondent No.2.

21.08.2007
DATE OF DECISION: 21.08.2007

CORAM:

Hon’ble Mr.Justice Pradeep Nandrajog

1. Whether reporters of local papers may be allowed
to see the judgment? Y

2. To be referred to the Reporter or not? Y

3. Whether judgment should be reported in Digest? Y

: PRADEEP NANDRAJOG, J.

FIR No.6/2007 dated 3.1.2007
under Section 498-A/406 IPC
PS Hazrat Nizamuddin.

1. Vide Bail Application No.1711/2007, Smt.Surjit Kaur Chopra seeks
anticipatory bail. Vide Bail Application No.1716/2007, Sh.Harbhajan Singh
Chopra seeks anticipatory bail. The 2 applicants are the mother-in-law and
father-in-law respectively of the complainant, Arti.
2. At the outset, I must refer my displeasure at the manner in
which Bail Application No.1711/2007 has been drafted by learned counsel for the
petitioner.
3. The same is a verbatim copy of Bail Application No.1716/2007.
4. Use of computers does not mean that learned members of the Bar
would not apply their mind. Human beings cannot become computers and start
operating themselves by clicking a mouse.
5. Little realizing that in Bail Application No.1716/2007 reference
to the applicant was made as father of the husband of the complainant i.e. as
father-in-law of the complainant, even Smt.Surjit Kaur Chopra has been referred
to as father of the husband of the complainant i.e. father-in-law of the
complainant.
6. In the instant case, the misdescription may be trivial. But in
large number of cases I notice that the misdescription is not trivial, more so,
when disputes relate to complaints under Section 138 of the Negotiable
Instruments Act 1881. In said cases description of the accused with reference
to the role assigned becomes relevant. Precious judicial time is wasted in
identifying who is being referred to and in what context reference is being made
pertaining to persons accused of offence and who have filed quashing petitions
challenging the summoning order.
7. It is hoped and expected that learned members of the Bar would
justify them being referred to as ‘learned counsel’. Their being learned must
be reflected in their pleadings.
8. Referring to the facts, why else would a father-in-law and
mother-in-law be seeking bail? Of course, when their daughter-in- law has filed
a complaint resulting in registration of FIR under Section 498-A/406/34 IPC.
This has happened in the instant case.
9. Since issue of anticipatory bail has to be decided, reference to
the FIR becomes necessary.

10. Touching upon the salient features of the FIR, complainant
Arti, stated that she met Jitender Singh Chopra, son of the applicants in London
in July 2004 through common friends. She states that the two met a number of
times and around 3rd week of September 2004 decided to get married in Dubai on
30.9.2004 She stated that she and Jitender Singh Chopra came to Delhi and got
engaged. That at the time of engagement presents worth Rs.15 lakhs were gifted
by her parents to the in-laws and relatives of Jitender. That her in-laws gave
her jewellery worth Rs.40 lakhs. That at the asking of her prospective mother-
in-law, for relatives who were not present at the engagement, her mother sent
additional gifts worth Rs.5 lakhs. That marriage between the complainant and
Jitender was solemnized at Dubai on 27.10.2004 as per Hindu rites and customs.
At the time of marriage her mother, relatives and friends gave gifts worth Rs.70
lakhs. Her in-laws gifted her jewellery worth Rs.90 lakhs. Next day her
mother-in-law took away the jewellery for safe keeping. She and her husband
came to Delhi on 3.11.2004 and stayed at the farm house of the in-laws. The
couple celebrated their first Deepawali. On said function her relatives gave
gifts worth Rs.40 lakhs to her husband. That her mother and her relatives gave
her ancestral jewellery worth Rs.1.75 lakhs at said function. That her in-laws
gave her expensive gifts and jewellery worth Rs.80 lakhs. That when they were
at Delhi her brother-in-law tried to force himself upon her. That she was
disgraced by the family of her in-laws who stated that they expected that she
would bring a Mercedes car in her dowry. That when the couple left for their
honeymoon her husband compelled her to drink excessively as also to indulge in
vulgar sexual acts. That since it was her second marriage she did not speak to
anyone. That on 18.1.2005 she and her husband went back to Dubai. For said trip
her husband demanded Rs.25 lakhs from her mother. Her mother arranged Rs.5
lakhs and gave the same to her husband. That her husband demanded more money.
Her mother paid Rs.15 lakhs. That she came back to Delhi on 29.12.2005 and in
spite of requests to hand over her jewellery, none was being returned to her.
That her father-in-law wanted her parents to transfer ownership rights of 2
floors of their house in name of her husband. That her mother-in-law had
retained her jewellery.
11. According to the petitioners the marriage at Dubai was financed
by the petitioners. Entire stay of the family of the bride was paid for by the
petitioners. That after the wedding, the newly wed came to Delhi to celebrate
their first Deepawali and went back to Dubai in February 2005. They took on
rent a villa and resided separately from the petitioners. That the couple
separated due to temperamental differences. That their son sought divorce in
London due to irreconcilable differences. That the FIR was a counter blast to
the divorce petition filed by their son.
12. Before dealing with the rival submissions on the issue whether
petitioners should be granted anticipatory bail or not, it has to be noted that
petitioners as also their second son i.e. the brother-in-law of the complainant
sought anticipatory bail before the learned Additional Sessions Judge. Attempts
were made to compromise the matter and in full and final satisfaction of all
claims of the complainant not only the FIR be withdrawn but the couple could
agree for an amicable settlement. Order dated 29.3.2007 passed by the learned
Additional Sessions Judge records that a settlement was arrived at pursuant
whereto complainant would be paid Rs.4 crores in cash and a flat at DLF Gurgaon
worth Rs.60 lacs would be transferred in her name. Thereafter, the talks broke
down inasmuch as offer was reduced to Rs.2 crores.
13. Petitioners when charged with attempting to wriggle out of an
agreed settlement explained that their younger son was briefing the counsel and
he was receiving instructions from the husband of the complainant for the reason
any payment under the settlement had to be financed by the husband of the
complainant. That unfortunately, their son i.e. husband of the complainant
could not firm up his mind and for said reason settlement failed.

14. Shri K.T.S. Tulsi, learned senior counsel for the applicants
urged that proceedings for grant of anticipatory bail cannot be converted into a
recovery proceedings. Learned senior counsel urged that the anxiety of the
Court to try and effect a settlement between the warring couple may be a
laudable act but is alien to the exercise of jurisdiction while deciding an
application seeking grant of anticipatory bail. Learned senior counsel urged
that the well known parameters viz. gravity of the offence, seriousness of the
allegations constituting the offence, possibility of the accused absconding or
threatening witnesses of the prosecution, inherent probabilities, for and
against the accused are some of the factors which have to be considered by the
Court while deciding an application for grant of anticipatory bail.
15. Expanding the argument, learned senior counsel submitted that
documents annexed as Annexure-C to the petitions conclusively establish that the
petitioners paid the entire bill at Dubai when marriage took place. Drawing
attention to Annexure-D, learned senior counsel urged that the same evidences
that the newly married couple set up separate residence in Dubai. As regards
the petitioners, learned senior counsel urged that they were residents of Delhi.
Their son was settled abroad. Except for participating in the joyous occasion
of the marriage of their son and showering their blessings and gifts upon the
newly wed as also to finance the marriage, the two had no role to play in the
matrimonial life of the couple. Learned senior counsel further urged that
allegations in the FIR are alien to the social norms of the society from which
complainant, her family and the petitioners come from. Learned senior counsel
explained that main items are gifted to the couple at the time of their
marriage. Thereafter, as and when festive occasions occur, small gifts are
exchanged. Learned senior counsel urged that it was unbelievable that at the
time of Deepawali celebrations after the couple got married, complainant’ s
family members would gift to their daughter and her in-laws, gifts worth Rs.1.75
crores. Learned senior counsel further submitted that the allegations of dowry
demand are against the husband i.e. the son of the petitioners. Allegations of
mental and physical cruelty are against the husband save and except a vague
allegation that on one occasion father-in-law threw a plate at the complainant
and abused her as a bitch. Learned senior counsel stated that the two
allegations pertaining to dowry demand against the father-in-law viz that he
expected his daughter-in- law to bring a Mercedes car and a demand for ownership
rights of 2 floors in her parent’s house at Sunder Nagar are false. Learned
senior counsel submitted that the gravement of the allegation against the
mother-in-law is that she retained the jewellery of the complainant.
16. Learned senior counsel urged that in view of the fact that the
complainant and her husband had set up their matrimonial house at Dubai, a
residence separate from that of the petitioners, considering the social
background of the family of the complainant as also the petitioners it was
unbelievable that the complainant would have handed over her jewellery to her
mother-in-law.
17. Fulcrum of opposition by learned counsel for the complainant
centered around the orders passed by the learned Additional Sessions Judge
regarding a settlement between the parties from which petitioners back tracked.
Learned counsel submitted that the said settlement evidenced the acknowledgment
by the petitioners that the complainant had to be recompensed. Learned counsel
submitted that the jewellery articles of the complainant have yet to be
recovered. Counsel submitted that the complainants have started dissipating
their assets. Thus, counsel urged that no case is made out to grant
anticipatory bail to the petitioners.
18. It is not in dispute that the instant marriage was the second
marriage of both parties. Thus, both would be presumed to be aware of not only
their matrimonial obligations but even the matrimonial laws. Judicial
authorities are replete with a caution by the Courts that the unfortunate

tendency to rope in all family members of the in-laws is a growing trend which
has two side effects. Firstly, innocent persons suffer the trauma of a criminal
prosecution and secondly, even the accused get acquitted for the reason, false
implication of innocent persons is followed by presentation of fabricated
evidence before the Court. So inextricably interwoven is truth with lies that
truth cannot be segregated from lies resulting in benefit of doubt being given
even to the accused persons.
19. More often than not, pertaining to dowry, Courts are faced with
a dilemma inasmuch as tax avoidance is the norm in India. Huge volume of black
money in circulation finds expression in ostentatious marriages. But when
called upon to prove that the family had enough assets to justify the stated
gifts gifted at the time of marriage, family members of the girl side have no
answers. They cannot establish the means to justify their capacity to shower
gifts worth crores.
20. In the instant case, before the in-laws of the complainant can
be called upon to account for the gifts given by the parents of the girl, the
parents of the girl would have to establish their means and their capacity to
gift items worth Rs.3 crores to their daughter and her in-laws.
21. As noted above, gravement of the allegations are directed
principally against the husband. No doubt, there is reference against the
petitioners pertaining to dowry demand and retention of jewellery, but, as noted
above, allegations of dowry demand are against the father-in-law and not against
the mother-in-law. Vice versa, allegations pertaining to retention of the
jewellery of the complainant is against the mother-in-law and not the father-in-
law. Thus, if at all, father-in-law may be answerable to a charge under Section
498-A IPC. If at all, mother-in-law may be answerable for a charge under
Section 406 IPC.
22. Qua the mother-in-law a circumstance which stands out is that
her son and her daughter-in- law had a separate residence at Dubai. The couple
was married at Dubai. Whatever may be the jewellery gifted to the complainant
at the time of marriage, there is no material on record that when she along with
her husband came to India they made a declaration to the Customs Authority that
personal jewellery worth crores was being brought by her i.e. the complainant to
India. Greater probability would be that either jewellery of the value alleged
to be gifted to her by the complainant was not gifted to her, or if gifted, the
same was in her custody at Dubai.
23. Pertaining to the father-in-law I find that the allegations are
general. It is not stated in the complaint that because father-in-law desired
that the complainant should bring a Mercedes car he i.e. the father-in-law took
vengeance against the complainant. What is stated in the FIR is that the
father-in-law commented that he expected that the complainant would bring as
part of dowry a Mercedes car.
24. Prima facie, it is one thing to have a desire and express the
same. It is altogether another thing to raise a demand as per the desire.
25. Allegation of mental cruelty against the father-in-law pertains
to an alleged incident when according to the complainant she served cold food to
her father-in-law. Prima facie, said allegation of cruelty does not relate to a
dowry demand.
26. The only other allegation pertaining to transfer of 2 floors in
the house of the complainant’ s parents at Sunder Nagar is without any
particulars i.e. the day or the month when said demand was raised.
27. In the report published as 2006 (6) SCC 736 Indian Oil
Corporation vs. NEPC India Ltd. in para 13 the Hon’ble Supreme Court lamented as
under:-
?13. While on this issue, it is necessary to take notice of a
growing tendency in business circles to convert purely civil disputes into
criminal cases. This is obviously on account of a prevalent impression that

civil law remedies are time consuming and do not adequately protect the
interests o lenders/creditors. Such a tendency is seen in several family
disputes also, leading to irretrievable breakdown of marriages/families. There
is also an impression that if a person could somehow be entangled in a criminal
prosecution, there is a likelihood of imminent settlement. Any effort to settle
civil disputes and claims, which do not involve any criminal offence, by
applying pressure through criminal prosecution should be deprecated and
discouraged. ?
28. In para 19 of the report published as (2005) 6 SCC 281 Sushil
Kumar Sharma vs. Union of India, the Supreme Court observed as under:-
?19. The object of the provision is prevention of the dowry menace.
But as has been rightly contended by the petitioner many instances have come to
light where the complaints are not bona fide and have been filed with oblique
motive. In such cases acquittal of the accused does not in all cases wipe out
the ignominy suffered during and prior to the trial. Sometimes adverse media
coverage adds to the misery. The question, therefore, is what remedial measures
can be taken to prevent abuse of the well-intentional provision. Merely because
the provision is constitutional and intra vires, does not give a licence to
unscrupulous persons to wreak personal vendetta or unleash harassment. It may,
therefore, become necessary for the legislature to find out ways how the makers
of frivolous complaints or allegations can be appropriately dealt with. Till
then the courts have to take care of the situation within the existing
framework. As noted above the object is to strike a the roots of dowry menace.
But by misuse of the provision a nw legal terrorism can be unleashed. The
provision is intended to be used as a shield and not as an assassin’s weapon.
If the cry of ?wolf? is made too often as a prank, assistance and protection may
not be available when the actual ?wolf? appears. There is no question of the
investigating agency and courts casually dealing with the allegations. They
cannot follow any straitjacket formula in the matters relating to dowry
tortures, deaths and cruelty. It cannot be lost sight of that the ultimate
objective of every legal system is to arrive at the truth, punish the guilty and
protect the innocent. There is no scope for any preconceived notion or view.
It is strenuously argued by the petitioner that the investigating agencies and
the courts start with the presumptions that the investigating agencies and the
courts start with the presumptions that the accused persons are guilty and that
the complainant is speaking the truth. This is too wide and generalized a
statement. Certain statutory presumptions are drawn which again are rebuttable.
It is to be noted that the role of the investigating agencies and the courts is
that of a watchdog and not of a bloodhound. It should be their effort to see
that an innocent person is not made to suffer on account of unfounded, baseless
and malicious allegations. It is equally undisputable that in many cases no
direct evidence is available and the courts have to act on circumstantial
evidence. While dealing with such cases, the law laid down relating to
circumstantial evidence has to be kept in view.?

29. In the decision dated 23.2.2007 in Crl.M.C. No.7262/2006 Neera
Singh vs. State and Ors. a learned Single Judge of this Court had pains to note
as under:-
?4. Now-a-days, exorbitant claims are made about the amount spent
on marriage and other ceremonies and on dowry and gifts. In some cases claim is
made of spending crores of rupees on dowry without disclosing the source of
income and how funds flowed. I consider time has come that courts should insist
upon disclosing source of such funds and verification of income from tax returns
and police should insist upon the compliance of the Rules under Dowry
Prohibition Act and should not entertain any complaint, if the rules have not
been complied with. Rule 2 of the Dowry Prohibition (Maintenance of List of
Presents to the Bride and Bridegroom) Rules, 1985 reads as under:

2. RULES IN ACCORDANCE WITH WHICH LISTS OF PRESENTS ARE TO BE MAINTAINED.-
(1) The list of presents which are given at the time of the marriage to the
bride shall be maintained by the bride.

(2) The list of presents which are given at the time of the marriage to
the bridegroom shall be maintained by the bridegroom.

(3) Every list of presents referred to in Sub-rule (2)-
(a) shall be prepared at the time of the marriage or as soon as possible
after the marriage;

(b) shall be in writing;

(c) shall contain:

(i) a brief description of each present;

(ii) the approximate value of the present;

(iii) the name of the person who has given the present; and

(iv) where the person giving the present is related to the bride or
bridegroom, a description of such relationship.

(d) shall be signed by both the brides and the bridegroom.

5. The Metropolitan Magistrate should take cognizance of the
offence under the Act in respect of the offence of giving dowry whenever
allegations are made that dowry was given as a consideration of marriage, after
demand. Courts should also insist upon compliance with the rules framed under
the Act and if rules are not complied with, an adverse inference should be
drawn. If huge cash amounts are alleged to be given at the time of marriage
which are not accounted anywhere, such cash transactions should be brought to
the notice of the Income Tax Department by the Court so that source of income is
verified and the person is brought to law. It is only because the Courts are
not insisting upon compliance with the relevant provisions of law while
entertaining such complaints and action is taken merely on the statements of the
complainant, without any verification that a large number of false complaints
are pouring in.?
30. Admittedly, neither complainant nor her family members have
complied with Rule 2 of the Dowry Prohibition (Maintenance of List of Presents
to the Bride and Bridegroom) Rules 1985.
31. Since allegations in the complaint are to the effect that
jewellery and gifts worth crores were given by the parents and relatives of the
complainant, instant case would require a prior investigation by the
investigating officer before petitioners are made to account for the gifts,
whether at all the family of the complainant had the means to shower gifts of
such magnitude.
32. I note that the husband of the complainant is paying to her a
monthly maintenance of Rs.1 lakh.
33. Learned counsel for the State did not urge that the petitioners
are not cooperating with the IO.
34. The special circumstances of the case may be summarized:-
(a) Marriage is a love marriage and took place at Dubai. There is prima
facie evidence that marriage expenses were borne by the in-laws of the
complainant.

(b) The young couple took up separate residence at Dubai and stayed their
after the marriage till they came to India to celebrate their first Deepawali
festival. The complainant stayed with her in-laws for about 10 days. The
couple departed for their honeymoon.
(c) Allegations in the FIR are primarily directed against the husband.
Prima facie it appears to be a case of temperamental difference between the
husband and the wife.
(d) There are no allegations of dowry demand against the mother-in-law.
Allegation against her is of retaining the jewellery gifted by her parents as
stated by the complainant to be in the value of over Rs.2 crores. There is no
evidence that jewellery of such magnitude was gifted.
(e) Allegations of dowry demand against the father-in-law only relate to
transfer of ownership rights of 2 floors in a property at Sunder Nagar in the
name of the husband of the complainant. The allegation is of a general nature.
The time, date and month of demand has not been specified.
(f) The couple separated at Dubai. The petitioners did not have a joint
residence with the complainant and thus could not be in possession of her
jewellery.
35. Case is thus made to admit petitioners to anticipatory bail.
While so directing, I am conscious of the failed compromise talks before the
learned Additional Sessions Judge but I cannot ignore the fact that proceedings
for bail cannot be converted into recovery proceedings. I find prima facie
justification of the petitioners that their younger son was briefing the counsel
and was informing the counsel what was being consented to by the son of the
petitioners. If the son of the petitioners back tracks from his commitment,
petitioners cannot be faulted with.
36. I additionally note that the complainant is being paid a
monthly maintenance of Rs.1 lakh by her husband.
37. Petition stands disposed of directing that on the petitioners
surrendering their passport to the Investigating Officer and cooperating at the
inquiry to be conducted by the Investigating Officer, in the event of the
petitioners being arrested by the IO, the petitioners would be released on bail
by the IO on the petitioners furnishing a personal bond of Rs.1,00,000/ – each
with one surety each in the like amount to the satisfaction of the IO in the
above captioned FIR.
38. Needless to state, the petitioners would join the investigation
as and when required by the IO.
39. Copy of the order be supplied dasti to learned counsel for the
petitioners.

21st August, 2007 PRADEEP NANDRAJOG, J.
dk

— In saveindianfamily@ yahoogroups. com, “Arnab” <arnab221@.. .> wrote:
>
> Ranjana Kumari in her interviews always mentions that please exchange the list of articles that were exchanged during the marraige . What sort of list is it exactly and is this a legal document like an affidavit signed by the girl and her family ?
>
> The same also must be given by the girl and her family . Right ?
>
> This will definitely resolve the streedhan type issues where article lists are bloated all the time.
>
> I know that 498A can still be misused , but does someone has or has any recommendations what this sort of list must contain or what must be the format of this document ? I need to pass this info to a friend who is getting marraied to protect himself from later issues if any on streedhan .
>

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Băsescu râde ca prostu. Că i-a mers. Deocamdată. Cine râde la urmă…

Sursa imaginii preluate:

http://ghimpele.ro/

Aşa cum era de aşteptat, Alegerile Prezidenţiale au demarat prin… turism electoral şi dis de dimineaţă au început şi-au continuat mai apoi să tot curgă râuri de sesizări de suspiciuni de fraudă electorală… Un * spectacol * marca Băsescu, un circ, orchestrat de mahării  PD-L, o mascaradă. Ocazie cu care, numitul Blaga Vasile şi-a mai dat încă o dată examenul de * competenţe *. Nimic neaşteptat, atitudinea, conduita, manifestările comportamentale ale Mafiei Portocalii erau previzibile.

Băsescu a pus moţ grămezii de kkt pe care s-a cocoţat cu * mândrie *. Nu numai că prefraudarea alegerilor e limpede pentru majoritatea românilor, ci,  a permis maşinăriei pedelachee atât de multe derapaje, că-n curând, foarte curând, motorul i se va îneca, de-atâtea turaţii de hăhăială la adresa poporului pe care-l consideră jucăria sa.

Urmârindu-i zminteala de discurs de după anunţarea rezultatelor exit-poll, când măscăriciul naţional Tr.B a adoptat un comportament infantil, cu toată sinceritatea, în momentul în care a început să turuie procentele vis a vis de Inutilul şi tâmpenia numită Referendum, mi-am spus că nici să-l scuip nu merită ! Da, nici măcar să-l scuip. Cum naiba să ieşi în faţa camerelor şi să te lauzi cu asemenea mizerie, căci mizerie a fost, nu altceva.

Şi-am să spun ca de obicei lucrurilor pe nume! * Implicarea * Guvernului Ilegal ce s-a ocupat de organizarea acestor alegeri e… nu e. Cea mai mare parte din populaţia ţărişoarei habar n-a avut ce-a votat, pentru că nimeni NU a fost interesat ca românii să fie informaţi ci, dezinformaţi, manipulaţi. Nicio grijă, Mafia PD-L s-a gândit grijulie şi la aceia care sunt informaţi cât de cât. Exemplu concret :

Cei care au refuzat Buletinele pentru Referendum, în mod normal şi legal ar fi trebuit să asiste la bararea spaţiului destinat semnăturii pe tabelul pentru consemnarea participării sau refuzului de-a participa la referendum. Ei bine, dacă ai avut suficient curaj să ceri să se bareze acel spaţiu, citez:

*…preşedintele biroului electoral al secţiei de votare trebuie să bareze, în prezenţa alegătorului, cu o linie orizontală, cealaltă rubrică de semnătură rămasă neutilizată. *

În loc să se întâmple astfel, ţi se aruncă sec * am barat, doamnă *… Ei bine, ca să fiu mai exactă, chiar mie mi s-a întâmplat, la Secţia de Votare nr.47 din Reşiţa, Twin Peakse-ul cărăşean arhirecunoscut în d-ale * cinstei *.  Ce credeţi ? Zic brusc: * Ia să văd * şi trag brusc tabelul spre mine… Stupoare ! Ce barare… Nici vorbă. Mi-au BIFAT Nr. Crt. cu o cruciuliţă!!!! Spaţiul destinat semnăturii, GOL ! Hopaaaa… * Ce-i asta? * întreb. Tipul, candid: * păi nu vedeţi bine? am barat * şi-mi bagă dejtu-n crucea aia… Evident, în acel moment sânjele sârb…. îmi păstrez totuşi calmul la suprafaţă, căci, am deja experienţă în Voievodatul Cărăşean şi ştiu, mori cu dreptatea-n mână, cu dovezile sub căpătâi, ei fac legea, după bunul plac. M-am temperat, că riscam să-mi cheme  vreo salvare, vreo dubiţă, nu de alta, dar e cohorta care de-abia aşteaptă. Îi spun tipului, că ierea tinerel săracu, da-n jur de 30 de ani, deci… : * mă , eu nu glumesc cu asta, fă bine şi barează cum spune legea, linie orizontală-n spaţiul destinat semnăturii *… el, nimic, râde. Eu aştept , şed şi cujet cu Buletinul pentru alegerea Preşedintelui în mână şi nu mă-ndrept spre cabina de vot. La un moment dat, dat fiind penibilitatea * momentului *, un nene mai în vârstă ce stătea alăturat tipului şi care nu scosese un sunet, doar mă privise insistent, se adresează tipului * are dreptate, barează aici * şi-i arată unde… ehhh, tipul zâmbind * dar aşa ştiam, aşa ni s-a spus *. Bingo !

În fine, intră Sibilla în Cabina de Votare, zbang ştampila pe unul din * candidaţi *, evident categoric NU Băsescu, recuperez buletinul şi salut. Ies. În urma mea se aud râsete. Al dracu ghinion ce am io, singură, singurică-n secţia de votare la acea oră 13 şi 20 de minuţele. Nu-i bai, îmi zic, se poate verifica dacă ceea ce afirm cu responsabilitate e adevărat au ba. Doar nu s-au pus să şteargă cruciuliţele cu pricina după plecarea mea, rămân urme compromiţătoare, nu ?

Recapitulăm, să sesizez telefonic nu aveam motiv, căci am rezolvat, fiind atentă, insistentă şi deloc temătoare. Dar, mă tot întreb ca Omul zdravăn la mansardă şi de bună credinţă : ca mine mai fură destui, cum prezenţa la referendum în Caraş-Severin s-a raportat a fi fost de 45,97%, Nu doar eu am refuzat acele Buletine de Vot, ceilalţi, s-au ales cu…. cruciuliţele, ce reprezintă repet, Bifarea Nr. Crt. nicidecum bararea spaţiului destinat semnăturii ??!!! În acest caz, oare nu planează suspiciunea ca oareşce număr de buletine de Vot pentru Referendum să fi fost mai apoi folosite, că dacă spaţiile destinate semnăturii au rămas albe… ? Şi de ce : * aşa ni s-a spus * ??? Aha, o fi existând şi web cam…. n-aşe ?

Mai departe, de ce anume şi de la cine citire, pentru transportul persoanelor din satele arondate ce au votat în Secţiile Speciale amenajate în anume Comune cu * renume * prin Caraş-Severin, s-au folosit microbuzele destinate transportului şcolarilor ??? De ex. unul din microbuzele cu pricina a mai fost folosit, vai sărace-i cauciucuri şi pentru transportul pedelacheilor spre Timişoara, la mitingul lui nea Băse. Să nu mai aud pe nima-n lume că PD-L are bani, ăştia sunt MILOGI, penibilii ! Interesant că pe nimeni nu interesează cine plăteşte factura uzurii, a carburantului, dacă e normal şi legală folosirea microbuzelor şcolare în astfel de scopuri,că vorba aia, ce-o ave şcoala cu politica şi sula primarului comunei cu paradigma mămicuţei ei de … corectitudine ( ??!! ) Localitatea, Fârliug. În aceeiaşi localitate, comună şi-n satele arondate, alimente de la UE, se distribuiau de zor şi cu mare avânt * de la partidu lu nea primaru Borduz  *citire, numa cum buba se * nimeri * da exact în * ajunul alegerilor * şi nu numai, lumea zice că de către un nea Drăgoescu Ionel, mâna dreaptă a primarului… Nu acuzăm,. întrebăm, gândesc că nu ia nima-n lume foc, doar sunt informaţii de interes public! Poate că or avea vreo explicaţie…

Până eu centralizez nişte date ( la ce secţii au fost * desemnaţi * rude, fraţi, chestii, care ce pregătire are , etc. ), vă invit să mai citiţi despre oareşce Fenomene Paranormale, evident, acelaşi Twin Peakse cărăşean, pe care tovarăşul Blaga îl lăuda acu două zile ca judeţ fără risc de fraudă… El o zis, nu io, citai din presă şi TV, există arhiva, la o adică…

Hocus-pocus cu buletinele de vot

Ocupat la BEJ :

* Cu toate că postul nostru de radio a dorit să ofere ascultătorilor de-a lungul acestei nopţi informaţii proapete din Caraş-Severin, privind numărătoarea voturilor pentru alegerea preşedintelui României, acest lucru a fost îngreunat din cauză că Biroul Electoral Judeţean a avut indisponibile cele două telefoane puse la dispoziţie de către organizatorii alegerilor, acestea sunând într-una ocupat.Abia după ora 3 BEJ ne-a furnizat primele informaţii. *

Daniel Botgros

http://www.radio-resita.ro/ocupat-la-bej

Corina Creţu:

* Actualul sef al statului este izolat si, dupa cum arata acest prim tur, este limitat la nivelul electoratului captiv lui si PD-L. Rezultatele de azi confirma tendinda ilustrata si de actuala majoritate parlamentara. Sper ca peste doua saptamani se va produce mobilizarea necesara schimbarii actualului curs distructiv imprimat societatii romanesti de presedintele Basescu. Si mai sper ca referendumul sa fie invalidat, pentru ca nu este decat o diversiune electorala, cu un posibil efect destabilizator intr-o tara deja pe cale de a se scufunda in haos. *

Fraţilor, rămâne cum am stabilit ! Jos Dictatorul Băsescu Traian ! Jos Mafia PD-L !

Doamne Ajută !

Sibilla

P.S. Evident că înaintăm suspiciunile de mai sus, spre verificare. Nu acuzăm, însă ,e mai mult decât…. * interesant *… Revenim şi cu altele.

Verbal Abuse of the Elderly

Verbal abuse may seem to be one of the lesser forms of elder abuse but it can be just as serious and just as harmful as physical abuse.

Verbal abuse can begin in an insignificant way and can escalate and lead to more serious abusive situations.  This type of abuse is generally from people known to the elderly person involved.  This can include family members, spouses, and caregivers.

The person being abused often has mixed feelings about the person abusing them.  Because it is often a family member, there are feelings of fear, worrying that the person abusing them may no longer support and assist them.  The person who is the object of abuse often feels guilty or somehow at fault for being treated the way they are treated.  They feel that they deserve it for some reason.  They resist reporting this situation because of fear, because of lack of self worth, because of the connection to the abuser.  They also worry that somehow they will bring trouble to their abuser by reporting the abuse.

Verbal abuse is generally intimidating to the victim.  Verbal abuse is very isolating and can often cause lower self esteem and feelings of depression.  Examples of verbal abuse are insults, swearing, ridiculing, yelling, humiliating and threats.

Chronic verbal aggression ranks as the second most prevalent form of abuse.  Most often people who are abusive to others have seen it as children, grown up surrounded by it, and are affected by this for their entire life, continuing the cycle by being abusive to those around them, parents, spouses, and others.

Repeated verbal abuse has a devastating effect on the victim.  The victim feels hopeless, blames themselves for the abuse they are given, and feel useless and worthless.  The victim will often be withdrawn, very quiet, nervous or uncomfortable around the person who is abusing them.

These are obvious signs of trouble and should be recognized as such.  Abuse in any form should not be tolerated.

Be aware of those you care for.  Be aware of signs of verbal abuse.

“Precious” by Lee Daniels, based on the novel “Push” by Sapphire

So, I do what I love doing on my birthday: go out to watch a movie. This time I chose a depressing film about a girl with a hard lot in life and only one choice… doing everything the hard way. But it does get better, somehow.

Precious (Gabourey Sidibe) is a fat kid (about 16) who is pregnant with her second child, the father is her own father who abused and raped her since she was three years old. Her mother knows, of course, but instead of helping her daughter she uses her own dominance over the beaten girl and abuses her in her own ways – for taking her man away from her.

The principal of her school finally enrolls Precious in a program of young women who are all somewhat behind in learning but who still want to graduate. In this wild assortment of broken girls she finds friends. But it is mainly her teacher – Ms Rain – who makes a difference in her life. But it is not all glossy and nice from that moment on. Precious has yet a long way to go… but I won’t tell you what else awaits her because I want you to watch it for yourself.

Why did I watch such a depressing film on my birthday? Well, I wanted to  see it and I would have had to wait another two hours for the Sandra Bullock-film to start (I just remembered the dialogue from “Scream 2″ at the beginnning when she wants to see the Sandra Bullock-flick and her boyfriend wants to see the horror movie that gets both of them killed… strange). Well, I have also heard the movie was supposed to be good and so I went and watched it. I liked it, too, but it is heavy food (I translated this from German “harte Kost,” but it’s probably not quite fitting in English, sorry).

Precious teacher, by the way, is a lesbian and since the movie plays in 1987 this has a slightly different connotation than if the movie would be set 20 years later. She is played by Paula Patton and played very well, so look out for her in the future. She gives her character just the right amount of edges so as not to appear unbelievable.

There are some people you might recognize (or not recognize); the mother is played by comedian and actress Mo’Nique, Lenny Kravitz (whom I did not recognize as Nurse Joe), and Mariah Carey as Precious’s social worker, Mrs Weiss (and not half bad, but not really Oscar-worthy either).

So, try to catch this while you can. It will be worth your while.

Domestic Violence PSA “Hit the Bitch” Stirs Controversy

Filed under: Activism, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Hate Crimes, Intimate Partner Assault, Violence against women — justice4mothers @ 7:26 pm

I don’t know what to even say to this one….from The Huffington Post:

‘Hit The Bitch’ Anti-Violence PSA Stirs Controversy

Huffington Post |  Nicholas Sabloff

First Posted: 11-18-09 12:52 PM   |   Updated: 11-18-09 02:31 PM

The intentions behind it may have been noble, but a Danish public service announcement about violence against women called “Hit The Bitch” has people asking just what those behind it were thinking.

Made by a Danish advocacy group as a web campaign (www.hitthebitch.dk), the site allows you to use your computer’s mouse to move a gigantic hand so that it repeatedly strikes a female model in the face. The site then rates each hit on a scale beginning at “100% pussy” and ending at “100% gangsta.” As you hit the woman her face begins to show bruises, and once enough blows are struck and the user reaches “100% gangsta,” the woman falls down and the phrase “100% IDIOT!” appears on the screen. It then shows her sobbing and grabbing her neck in agony on the floor. The spot’s message about violence is then presented in Danish while mournful music plays in the background.

The response from the handful of sites that have written about the PSA has been one of discomfort. The PSA “takes things to a a disturbing level,” writes Nick McMaster at Newser. Meanwhile, Tana Ganeva of Alternet has accused the PSA of having gone “very, very wrong”:

Seriously though, this seems like the end result of some people sitting around a table trying to figure out how to make domestic violence edgy and attention-grabbing. Are we really so inured to the standard imagery of wide-eyed kids cowering in the background, or the bruised faces of women?

Ganeva isn’t totally dismissive of the PSA, however, and concludes her article by suggesting that since domestic violence is rarely discussed in the mainstream media, the makers of the spot may be on to something in their approach: “even though it’s pretty fucking tone deaf and horrifying, are they on the right track by trying to be aggressively controversial?”

The confusion that the PSA causes for the user — is this raising awareness to the severity of the problem, or is it unintentionally trivializing the issue — was captured by Tim Nudd at Adweek: “Perhaps you’re supposed to feel guilty, like a real-life abuser might, for continuing to hit the woman just to see what happens next? Who knows. Maybe something’s getting lost in translation from the Danish,” Nudd writes.

Perhaps the best way to decide is to visit the site and experience it for yourself, should you feel it’s not too unpleasant to do so.

And please let us know how you feel about the PSA.

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