Estimates over the last three decades predict that “90 percent of alcoholics are likely to experience at least one relapse over the four-year period following treatment.” That dire statistic underscores the importance of relapse prevention, which Alcoholics Anonymous links to working Step Four:

[With] the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave…. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

Years ago, that was definitely true for me. Since then, however, medical options have dramatically changed. For early phases of alcoholism treatment, Healing the Addicted Brain now recommends new anti-addiction medicines. Here’s a summary of those ideas:

Vivitrol encourages the addict to cut back on alcohol intake, thereby reducing or eliminating ongoing brain damage, while Campral helps accelerate repairs to brain systems. With less poison coming in and repairs occurring at a faster rate, the brain is better able to accept new, healthy thinking patterns and master sober life skills…. Vivitrol and Campral are the new hope millions of alcoholics have been waiting for.

Harold C. Urschel III, M.D., also explains that once-a-month injections of Vivitrol nearly eliminate relapses, and that Campral tablets, taken daily over the span of about a year, help “repair damaged systems in the limbic region. This reduces cravings and makes it easier for the brain to concentrate on cortex-based talking therapy.”

Anti-addiction medications were not possible for me through 2001 when I most needed such help. If you are seriously suffering, ask your doctor about new medicines for recovery. Relapses can kill. At the same time, though, I encourage you to realize that ours is not an either/or choice as alcoholics—new medicines and the steps of AA heal. So if you can muster the faith to do so, turn your attentions to the powerful Fifth Step and seal the healing deal. Extend the same trust to steps that you do to medicines, because both are gifts from God for our recovery.

Copyright © 2009 by Randall E. Greene

I take pride in the fact that I’m unique.  I’m not unique though.  There are people just like me everywhere.    That doesn’t bother me though.  If I’m not unique then there is still a chance of me meeting a woman that understands me and accepts me for who I am.  I just wish that would happen soon because I’m tired of putting up with this loneliness.  Will I ever find the perfect woman for me?  I already met one, but I blew that opportunity.

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore.

Dream.

Discover. -Mark  Twain

So, I was reading this boring Catholic newspaper that we get every week. I got really pissed off because the archbishops are trying to defend marriage. The definition of marriage is the union of a man and a woman. On the front cover they can’t even say same-sex marriage in that article, because they probably think it’s some kind of taboo!

Sunday, November 29th, is supposed to be a day of prayer for the vocation and sacrament of marriage. That is horrible… the church is using prayer against something. That is so sacreligious. Pray against gay marriage? Well I hope we don’t have to when I go to mass to sing on Sunday! On November 29th (tomorrow), I am going to pray for the gay community, that the Catholic church will stop rejecting them and that they may be able to have their marriage. It’s all about love not gender! I think Jesus would accept everyone for who they are. These are our short lived years on Earth, so we need to make them last. Life is just a moment, so we should try to spend it accepting and respecting others so we will still be happy after our time on Earth is complete.

So I bet you are all thinking I’m gay now. Well I’m not. I’m just like, the anti-homophobia Nazi. Back to the main topic now. These silly bishops think that people are focused on satisfaction and not the Gospel. WTF!!! It’s love, you can’t mess with that. I am so angry. I feel like sometimes we just need to take out the things we don’t like about our religion and use what works for us.

So… War, poverty, and what is the church so focused on rebelling against? Gay marriage.

It’s about love, not gender.

“God can remove whatever …has blocked you off from him. If you have …made a decision and an inventory …you have made a good beginning.”

Kluge Hans (better known as “Clever Hans”) was a most amazing horse!  He had the ability to add, subtract, multiply and divide by tapping out the answers with his hoof.  He could tell time and name people.  He could spell and solve problems involving musical harmony.

His owner, German mathematician Von Osten, began showing him to the public in 1891, and for years, Clever Hans amazed even the stoutest critics.  The horse could perform his tricks for randomly selected people with or without his master present.  It seemed impossible, but no one could deny the horse’s accuracy.

It wasn’t until 1904 when researcher Oskar Pfungst finally figured out how Clever Hans did it.  By testing the horse with a variety of constraints, he learned that Clever Hans was not so clever if he couldn’t see his questioner.  Also, if the questioner did not know the answer to a question, neither did the horse.

Following a hunch, Pfungst started observing the questioners more than the horse.  Soon, he discovered that Clever Hans was responding to subtle non-verbal cues from the people asking the questions.  They tended to tense their muscles until Clever Hans tapped out the correct answer with his hoof.  When he did, the questioner relaxed, signaling to the horse that it had reached the correct answer.  The horse could detect slight movements of a person’s eyebrows or a change in head position or an approving facial expression.  Clever Hans could even pick out a slight dilation of the questioner’s nostrils.

In the end, Clever Hans was most clever when people expected and wanted him to be clever.  Their anticipation of his correct answer provided him all the non-verbal feedback he needed to reassure their trust in his abilities.

Think about the implications for our human relationships.  If a horse is perceptive enough to read our non-verbals with such accuracy – even non-verbals that we are oblivious to sending – isn’t it possible that other people can pick up on them, too (if not consciously, then subconsciously)?  If you have high expectations for someone, it gets communicated in more than your praise.  If you have low expectations of someone, it leaks into every interaction you have with that person.  What you think about a person often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in your relationship.

When you have negative expectations about someone, you can try to fake your feelings when you are around them, but most people will see through your plastic efforts.  The only real way to make sure that you don’t communicate negative expectations is to change how you feel about that person.  In order to do that, you are going to have to change the story that you tell yourself about them.  You need a positive story to replace the negative one.  This is much easier said than done, but here are some suggestions:

• Assume positive motive. Maybe the person is the way he is or acts the way he does, because there is a good reason for it.  Maybe he means well and is doing the best he knows how to do.
• Consider that there may be extenuating circumstances. There may be factors outside of her control – things like the way the person was raised, the limitations on what they know or are able to do, the situation that they are currently in or other people and their behavior toward her.
• Examine your own accountability. Is there anything that you are doing that is making your interactions with this person worse?
• Get more information. Don’t make up your mind about someone or about the way someone behaves without first making sure that you have enough information to make an opinion.  Legion are the embarrassing stories where someone reacted to a small amount of information and later learned that they were missing the most important parts of the story.
• Lower your expectations. If the person can’t or just won’t change, lower your expectations of him.  You will be happier, because he won’t let you down all the time.
• Tell a bigger story. Maybe your story is too small.  For example, you are distracted by your teenager’s sloppy appearance and can’t help but comment on it each time you see her.  But how important is how neat she looks compared to the health of your relationship with her?  Maybe you could tell a story that says the health of your relationship is bigger and more important than your irritation over her appearance, and you are going to overlook her clothing choices in order to preserve open doors of communication with her.
• Pray for the person. Nothing is more effective at changing your heart toward another person than prayer.  Even if you struggle to be sincere with your prayers, make a commitment to pray for him or her until God gives you His heart for that person.

Change what you think (your story) about those around you, and you will change the relationship.  You might even find that your negative story has been the whole reason for the problems between you.  Change your story; change your world.

So much of the time, articles about LGBTQ youth and suicide seem to imply that it is just inevitable.  Thanks to Sam Jones at Out and About Newspaper for discussing ways to lower this risk amongst our young people: Good role models.

From Out and About Newspaper:

Each year, suicide claims more lives of Tennesseans than homicide, and the GLBT community is at high risk.

Scott Ridgway, executive director of the Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network, said the key to lowering that risk may lie in providing positive role models and a sense of belonging to people who are rejected for identifying as LGBT or questioning.

As the holiday season approaches, phone calls to suicide hotlines reach their peak.

“Suicide crisis line calls increase in the holiday season, and we see the numbers of suicides increase in the spring,” Ridgway said.

GLBT youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, according to the Massachusetts 2006 Youth Risk Survey. Ridway said that survey represents a nationwide trend.

Another study, done by the 2007 San Francisco State University Chavez Center Institute, shows that GLBT and questioning youth who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

Read the rest of the article here

I’ve been quiet because the last couple weeks have been rough.  Without going into too much detail, there was an incident at school where G inappropriately touched a female classmate.  Not it a sexual way, more in a typical-for-G poking way, but still not good.  The other parents are understandably upset.  The school psychologist spoke extensively to G and DH and I went back to basics with regard to discussing private areas and personal space and *think* we have it handled so there won’t be a repeat occurence.

DH apologized to the other parents, although they were not exactly receptive to our apology.  We live in a very small town so we’ll see them often which makes this situation more difficult.  And for the last 10 days I’ve been having a hard time getting past my feelings of shame and mortification.  I’m not proud of this, but I spent a fair amount of time wallowing in self-pity and feeling depressed.

Then the other night, I had the absolute worst dream.  I dreamt DH and G were in a car crash and died.  It was one of those incredibly realistic dreams where I woke up with tears in my eyes and a feeling of overwhelming panic.  I had to check that everyone was safe in their beds and even after that it still took quite some time for me to fall asleep. 

Essentially, my psyche kicked my ass and told me to get over myself.  Since having that awful dream I’ve found it much easier to feel positive and keep my eye on our family blessings instead of obsessing on our family challenges.  You can be sure I spent time yesterday being thankful for my family, especially my wonderful G.

“We are not illegitimate children,”  They protested.  “The only Father we have is God himself.”

Jesus said to them,  “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God an now am here.”  John 8:41b, 42.

 Jesus set out to wake them from their stupor and found some pretty grouchy people, unwilling to wake from the dream they had of themselves.  They had witnessed the miracles, the teaching of God’s love and character, yet they wouldn’t submit to the price they needed to pay to continue in the light.  Here they are claiming God as their own Father without any real awareness of what it meant to be His son or daughter.  If being physical descendants of Abraham didn’t make them his children spiritually, then calling themselves the children of God wouldn’t make it so either.  Something was missing.

“Why is my language not clear to you?  Because you are unable to hear what I say.”

They clung to their interpretations of God’s Word so hard nothing could make them hear the truth.  It’s like they had stuck their fingers in their ears and began singing,  “La, la, la, la, I can’t hear you” as loud as they could to shut out His words.  To hear meant they would have to obey.  Jesus reveals the root problem of their spiritual deafness:

“You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire.  He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

Ouch!  Ever hear of diplomacy, Jesus?  What are you trying to do, drive them to kill you?

Every time I read these passages it seems to me He’s actually pushing them to crucify Him.  His arguments push all their buttons without cushioning the blows.  Yet what other choice does He have?  He spent nearly three years being subtle, careful to demonstrate the power of God and rightly dividing the Scriptures so everyone who heard would see the light, and it got Him nowhere with these people.  They wouldn’t listen when He told them the hard truth of God then, to back off now would be foolish.

By calling the devil their “father” Jesus reveals their motives for not wanting to hear what He has to say.  They preferred their fantasy constructs to real truth.  The story of God held little interest to them, for what they wanted was the story in which they triumphed over every obstacle to gain personal glory and power.  Knowing truth made no difference if they weren’t going to be able to be the heroes of their own stories.  What they rejected from Christ’s teachings was the one little morsal of truth on which the rest of salvation hinged:  it wasn’t their heroic efforts or mighty deeds which impressed God but the humble realization they were powerless to do anything for themselves in this regard without Him.  Total dependence on Jesus is the only way possible for us to find salvation or freedom from death.

“Can any of  you prove me guilty of sin?”

These people who had believed in Him knew His character, work and words were above reproach…it’s why they followed in the first place.  What turned them off is their misunderstanding of the spiritual nature of ingesting the Son of God.  They couldn’t get past Jesus’ demand that they eat His flesh and drink His blood, nor did they grasp the spiritual nature of that command.  Their minds were so focused/consumed by the lies of spiritual grandeur they blinded themselves to their need for reconstruction.  Nothing will wake a person up to their condition if they continue to take the drug of pride.  It washes away the ability to see ourselves as lost to truth without intervention.

Not one of these men could prove Jesus guilty of sin.  Blasphemy was a convenient excuse to shut Him up.

Why were they so quick to pick up stones at the end of His speech to them?  They wanted to silence His voice so badly they would have used any excuse to kill Him.

In our walk with God do we shut out truths we find unpalitable?  Do we shut ourselves off from light because it hurts our eyes to look?  Are we willing to break the mirror of truth because it shows we are not the fairest in the land making a lie out of the fantasy we’ve built up about our own value?

Our value comes from the fact God loves us, sent His Son to save us; it has absolutely nothing to do with how cool we are.  The reality of those who find Christ and those who reject Him couldn’t be more different than total light and total darkness.  When we walk into the light through the power of Jesus, we see ourselves for who we really are without any airbrush tricks to soften the blow.  At this point we have two choices:  hide our eyes by running back to our dank, dark little caves or falling into the arms of the one who brings us out of such misery.  Make no mistake the end of all rejection of Christ results in misery. 

On the other hand taking our eyes off ourselves brings joy unlimited, if our focus is, of course, Jesus.  We can find no contentment with our spiritual eyes turned inward; no peace when we are worried about our own; no joy or love of life unless we turn our eyes to Jesus.  He is our peace.  He is our joy.

Welcome to this week’s edition of Michael Oliver’s TWIST / TRUTH about selling.

_______

Here is something that I confess makes my hair stand on end! It’s part of an email I got and refers to something I hear frequently.

“When I call people it’s not for the purpose of selling but to get to know them, create a relationship and then call them back again the following week.”

Let’s be clear about this. It’s NOT about having a nice chat, creating a relationship and calling them back next week.

It IS about establishing in the first call whether they are serious about changing their present situation and whether they are prepared to do something about it. That’s all!

If they are, you introduce your solution and how it can help them get what they want.

If they are not… you don’t! You bow out graciously. You let them know that when they are ready, you’re ready. Then clear your mind and move on and talk with others who are NOT satisfied with where they are and ARE prepared to do something about it.

I don’t care what kind of products, business opportunity, compensation plan etc., you have. If they are not serious about taking some kind of action, then nothing is going to change and there is no point in wasting both your time pursuing something that is an illusion.

Let’s talk about the “Relationship”.

In Natural Selling it’s not about creating a relationship for the purpose of making a sale. The relationship is created as a natural consequence of how you think and how you talk with people. The relationship is cemented regardless of the outcome. It comes with the territory of understanding and applying Natural Selling.

The way you do this is to allow them to talk about the difference between what they have and what they want and why they want it. Help them get clear about their present situation. The Natural Selling dialogue itself is designed to do this. It will even go so far as actually taking their interest and desire up a notch or two.

The main point though is to get to their level of seriousness.

Here are some key points;

1. You’re looking for someone who is looking to move away from and/or move toward something and has enough desire to do it.
2. You’re looking for someone who is prepared to help themselves. Ask yourself, is it possible to help anyone who is not prepared to help themselves? No. It’s impossible.
3. You’re looking for someone who is prepared to take responsibility for their actions in the past, in the present and in the future.

Think abundantly. Think leadership. If you were the CEO of a company (which you are by the way) would you hire just anyone off the street and trust your business and life on random chances? Of course you wouldn’t.

So think like and act like the CEO of an enlightened company whose primary purpose is to look for and help those who are prepared to help themselves.

And if you’d like a blueprint for making calls that will find and help those kind of people, then take a look at my “Calling Leads” audio program. The 4 CDs in this program reveal exactly how to make every call you make a productive exercise in business building and relationship building with the right people.

Have a peaceful and prosperous week…

If you’d like to leave a comment about this article please click here

Best Selling Author of “How to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!“ – Selling from the Soul. Ancient Wisdoms. Modern Practice.

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like we are where we should be. And I am at a loss for words.

So many new feelings swirl around my brain that I’m enjoying a little writing hiatus to just sit back and feel each one as they come and go. Uninterrupted and under-analyzed. And in some weird way I’ve let go.

Last night after making our first Thanksgiving meal in the new house our family snuggled by the fire to play games. My eyes became sleepy with pure satisfaction so I did something I would never do – I took a grateful look around the room, blessed each person and fell asleep. I am talking out cold.

Everything was as it should be. And it still is.

We alcoholics can also work Step Four from a non-self-help, let-God-change-our-brain perspective—which means that while we do the personal work (taking action in specific ways that AA literature suggests) we also ask God to work on us. And we trust that he does so.

That has been my Step Four experience. I let go, allowing God to transform me into a new person by his methods of changing the way I think (a practical, layman’s translation of Romans 12:2). That initial process spanned a two-year period in my life; a more mature process continues to this very day. Specifically, I worked steps one through four during my first months in AA, stayed sober, but got drunk on St. Patrick’s Day 1999. Again I tried the process, this time remaining sober for five months while working the fourth step, and again I drank—this time the night before I departed for Louisville and my first-ever experience with rehabs.

During both attempts, I withdrew from my first AA sponsor, Jack. I feared placing the process within God’s protection and care, so I worked alone on the steps. Both times I did Step Four as if working a crossword puzzle—alone, objective, detached, putting pen to paper—and each time I drank again. The popular self-help, change-our-lives approach only led me to relapses.

The third time, however, I worked steps one through four as part of a committed, fifteen-man step-study group. I shared with my AA sponsor, Jim, everything that I wrote or thought in the steps. My times with Jim were strictly confidential, one-on-one encounters. Nothing in AA literature endorses doing painful, spiritual work publicly in any type of group therapy, at AA meetings or in rehab.

The earnestness of my third attempt paralleled the intense work that I did, years earlier, with a first-rate analyst in Lexington. The only differences—at last in 2001, I remained abstinent, and I prayerfully asked God to work on me while I did my part. God did, and over time I realized that it worked. Grace sobers.

Now, before we turn to AA’s Fifth Step, let’s consider relapses….

Copyright © 2009 by Randall E. Greene

We let God “demonstrate, through us, what he can do. We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what he would have us be.”

are you happy little gal?

after you have found that perfectly nourished plum

stashed away in the drawer

unwanted, uncared for

& misunderstood

will you handle it with care?

when you run your snowy white fingers

through its delicate pulp

each time you reminisce

the brief moments of togetherness?

will you cherish it forever?

after taking it all into your lips

and taste the hidden sweetness

that ease your years of pain

and emptiness?

in a world where no one cares

in quiet resplendance

the perfectly nourished prune

lay thinking..

little did he know

that the moment she found it

she cleansed it with her heart

and warmed it under the sun

she then planted it in the choicest plot

away from the weeds

hoping that in years to come

her tears of happiness & joy

will nourish that soil

and a perfect tree shall blossomed

so that this perfect little gal

can live & play happily

under the shade

of this plum tree..

What do you do when the person you’ve invested your time in… completely changes their mind about everything they’ve told you before?

A sibling of mine, decided to become involved with a guy… that she knew when he was a dancer at the club she managed 20 years ago.  There was no contact real contact between the two within those 20 years.  In any case, they began dating and seemed blissfully happy despite the fact that he had just recently gotten out of a relationship with a woman he was engagement to for a couple of years. My sister was on the “I want a baby” kick. I’m sure all women go through it, but she decided that she wanted this guy to possibly be the father. Of course, he told her that he’d consider… led her on a merry chase. Soon, she began working for him at his ‘company,’ which appeared to me to be nothing more than a software based Amway. My sister went all over DC, MD, and VA trying to drum up business because she worked predominately on commission.

Suddenly, they aren’t working out so well because he’s ’suddenly’ decided he doesn’t want to have kids at all… they broke up. A couple of months after the break up he tells her that she went to a place that said “No soliciting” and the party was threatening to sue. So she quit the job with him because… well she was trained by HIM to ignore those signs.

Well guess what… it’s about 2 years later… and this guy is back. He’s telling her about how he wants to be the one for her… and “yes, okay, kids.” I find myself wondering how he’s telling her anything different from what he’s told her before? And really could love make a person that blind that they can’t see when their being taken? What really makes a woman ‘forget’ everything this person has done before… and go back?

Over these past few years I know what it has been like to be on the top of your faith and I know what it is like to almost lose it. I know the arguments for both accepting and rejecting faith in Christ. I know how true Christianity and false Christianity look like and have experienced both sides of the proverbial coin.

And one major problem has allowed me to examine why I truly believe in Christ: hypocrisy.  This one major problem that has spread throughout the body of Christ is why I have wondered why I believe in Christ in the first place. This one major problem has made me wonder is it worth fellowshipping with those who call themselves Christians. And this one major problem has almost destroyed my faith, my ministry, and my life.

Jerks—I can’t stand them. If anyone is honest with himself or herself they would probably say the same thing. I mean, who says that they love jerks? I mean anyone with half a brain would probably say, “I can’t stand jerks.” I mean that’s just me, but who knows these days. But it seems like the epidemic of “jerk-itis” is on the flippin’ rise. I see girls that are in love with macho jerks; I see people in government that are elitist jerks; I see corporate executives that are greedy and are ravenous jerks; I see jerks, jerks, and more jerks.

But the one place I have seen more jerks in my life than any other place unfortunately is not in the clubs, Washington, D.C. , or on Wall Street—nope, the place I have seen my fair share of jerks is in the church. Now it is one thing for some atheist to write this statement; but this is coming from someone who is a passionate believer in Christ, who loves Christ and His church, and was a former “jerk.”

You see, when I first became a Christian I was brought up more with the mentality of being a legalist jerk than being a compassionate servant. For me it was all about being right and wrong and it was about who could be the most holy and dress in the best suit. It was about politics and about CCM (hating it, then liking it, then having to hear it is the “devil’s music,” then finally liking it). It was about going to that “Christian college,” and abstinence and about dating is bad and courtship is good. In the end it was about me, myself, and I. I didn’t even grasp the picture of what authentic Christianity looked like until recently in life. All I was seeing previously was hypocrisy, fundamentalism, legalism, and everything that the Lord hates but the things that permeate the Church.

Jerks are everywhere man and they come in all shapes and sizes. They are nonbelievers but they are believers as well. I am not saying that the things above like CCM, abstinence, and courtship are bad things. But having the attitude that because I like or practice those things makes me better than you is “jerkish.” What we need to do to eradicate the “jerk-itis” syndrome that is going around the church today is replace everything “we hate” with the royal law as James puts it: to love God and to love others. If we would become a band of believers that were known more for who we love than for what we hate—the world wouldn’t have to see us as bold-face bigots or hatemongers; we could be seen as revolutionaries, as compassionate servants of the kingdom desiring life change in every individual life.

I have been there and done that when it comes to being a “jerk,” and now I abandon it for something authentic—a true servant of Christ. Laying aside any fundamentalism, or legalism, or judgmentalism, or homophobia, or hypocrisy, or anything that would hinder me from opening up the truth of the gospel with others—I serve God with all my heart and love God and love others.

Here’s a “short test” to see if you pass or fail the “jerk test”:

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10)

So if you praise God yet curse men, you pass the “jerk test” with flying colors, and if you don’t, well then you fail. If we were honest with ourselves, I would say we all have passed and have been there, done that. Let’s resolve never to commit the act that James has spoken of, but let us always do the following:

“If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right.” (James 2:8)

[this is from a series of articles entitled: “Why I Hate…”]

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

BLACK FRIDAY HERE I COME!!!!

It’s seems like a million days since farewell. A million days since moments together stopped to be. A million days since our destinies diverged. I stand back and watch our time together pass soundlessly into the past. Into that place where facts are colored by my fears and fantasies, reality shaped by my love and hate, and time, measured by my passion or indifference.

A million memories, moments of the past, seem to gather dust in the attic inside my head. Away from the din of the dreary everyday life, away from prying eyes, away from the tribulations of my day-to-day existence, life lies fragmented and frozen in silent testimony to my time here.

Every gasp, every sigh, every voiceless prayer and unshed tear of my life lives here for eternity. In the solitude of my soul, I climb the three scores and a year old rickety staircase to my attic often now. The tired wood rattles and creeks under my feet as in protest to my frequent visits.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in broad daylight, sometimes with the leisurely coutenance of a seasoned tourist, sometimes with the fervent passion of a faithful pilgrim, sometimes for seconds, sometimes for hours, I visit you often in my attic.

I see the vibrant smile, I see the twinkle in your eye, I see the beautiful feet. I see a tear drop braving gravity’s pull. I hear the laughter – unrestrained and full. I see the arms that once held me. Among the unfilled promises of the days gone by I see the moments that made surrender possible.

Amidst the unborn children of my dreams I see everything that gave birth to moments so beautiful. Long after I have bid you my final goodbye, the attic will still be alive with their suppressed giggles and suggestive smiles. In the silence of the night, if you listen closely, I am sure you will hear them laughing.

]]> http://alcoholismandgrace.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/seeding-clouds-of-anger-fear/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 23:42:10 +0000 Randall E. Greene http://alcoholismandgrace.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/seeding-clouds-of-anger-fear/

Step Four (among the twelve steps in Alcoholics Anonymous) states that we “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Details about this stage of recovery appear in:

• Alcoholics Anonymous, which describes Step Four on pages 59, 63-71.
• Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, which describes Step Four on pages 42-54.

And why should alcoholics of our type bother with this step? Because it helps us face the need to change our thoughts and behaviors. Even if we work Step Four from popular self-help, change-our-lives perspectives (instead of from spiritual slants), making an inventory works effectively. The experience is like an end-of-the-year accounting of goods, which is one way that the Big Book describes Step Four. Actually working the step parallels psychological techniques that help us combat alcoholic thought distortions, triggers and cravings—as do the very practical exercises found in chapters two and three of Healing the Addicted Brain by Harold C. Urschel III, M.D., or in other good books that approach alcoholism in holistic ways.

Specifically, Step Four begins with our resentments (our so-called ”grudge lists” against people, places, ideas, etc.), and the step uses these lists to reveal our failures, sins, liabilities (apply whatever label that works best for you). Second, the process leads us into breakthroughs about how, when and where we were responsible for thoughts, feelings or actions that led to our resentments. Indeed, Step Four exposes how we alcoholics typically blame other people, other influences—even alcohol itself—for our problems.

In addition, Step Four helps us understand how anger, fear and misdirected instincts—even soul sickness—can intensify our alcoholism. Said differently, Step Four has spiritual value, as described by The Life Recovery Bible: “This will teach us humility as we uncover our sins and faults. It will also help us develop a grateful attitude toward God as we discover the many gifts he has given us.”

Copyright © 2009 by Randall E. Greene

I think it is around Thanksgiving time in the States now, am I right?

Sweden doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

Is it because we don’t have anything to be thankful for? Of course we do.

Is it because we can’t remember what to be thankful for? Probably.

Sweden is said to be the most secular country in the world. To quote an online Biblical Ministry Organisation:

Years ago, I had a relationship with an Italian guy. He was a practising Catholic living in the most holy Catholic center of the world, Rome. I, myself, loved to randomly stroll into the city’s churches and marvel over their beauty and peaceful atmosphere, but I did not feel the presence of a greater force, more there than anywhere else. It wasn’t until I came with Paolo to Sunday mass that I fully understood the influence on people those walls had.

People joined hands, cheek kissed and looked each other in the eyes as they proclaimed their belief. I did just like the others, but I felt completely out of place. As if someone was talking to me in a strange and different language, I nodded and smiled, but didn’t quite comprehend the significance of the words.

I still don’t.

But as I grow older I understand the difference between organized religion and belief. And I realize, I believe in a lot of things.

The power of true gratefulness is one of them.

So before I go to sleep every night, as I usually lie on my acupressure mat,

I whisper thank you’s…

For the comfort and safety that life provides for me

For all the moments that have played out during the day

For the emotions I am able – and choose to feel

For the smiles and for the tears

For the insights and knowledge I gain by experience

For the possibilities that lay like invisible stepping stones around me

For everything’s perfect proceeding

For the unconditional love that is faultlessly rooted in me

And I give thanks to you for being a part of it!

Natapos ang palabas.

Pakiramdam ko natapos na rin ang buhay ko. Pero kahit mahirap pinilit kong ituloy.Kahit mag-isa. Kailangan eh. Kinailangan kong ituloy para sa lahat ng taong mahal ko.

Yun ang mali ko,itinuloy ko lang pero di ko tinanggap na nagbago na ang lahat. At kailangan ko na ring magbago.

Ngaun kailangan kong bitawan yung buhay na nakasanayan ko para mahawakan ko ang buhay na naghihitay para sa akin. Kailangan ko nang pakawalan lahat nang nagpapabigat sa paa ko para humakbang ulit, lahat ng takot ko nung akala ko mag-isa lang ako.

Tapos na ang palabas. Isang palabas na ginampanan na kahit hindi nagtagal ay nagpakita ng daan para makilala ang mga bagong tauhan.Mga bagong karakter na makakaekesena na magbibigay ng panibagong kulay sa kwento para ituloy ang lahat. Para buksan ang bagong yugto, ang bagong kwento, ang bagong ako. Bagong buhay, bagong pag-asa na makita ko ang tamang plot, tamang tema, tamang dahilan na maging masaya ulit. Na maniwala ulit. Na isang araw maghihilom lahat ng sugat at mawawala lahat ng peklat.

Nasusubok ang katatagan ng isang tao sa panahon ng pagkalugmok at kawalan ng oportunidad na bumangon. Ngunit sa pagkakaroon ng mga pangarap at matinding kagustuhan na matupad ang mga ito, nabibigyan ng pag-asa kahit ang damdaming minsang binalot na ng pangamba.-Bangka(MMK)

Potaeness! Bakit gumaganon ako?!

Makapagsampay na nga.

*cut na direk*