NewNowNext is right, it looks like Carrie & her pals are touring in the road company of ‘Mamma Mia!’ If only this were a spoiler.

Screw you, Cookie. All I wanted was an after noodle treat, and you ruined it by looking like bits and trying to teach me about dong?! Thanks…FOR NOTHING!

I feel slack.  Not like a slacker, mind you, just slack.  Like the tension just broke and I’m all loose and, well, slack.  I like the sensation, but I know that what’s coming in the realm of tension is going to exceed my normal limits.

See, my in-laws are coming for Christmas.  Under the best circumstances, I only like about half of them, but circumstances are not usually the best.  Usually, as will occur starting on the 24th of this month, they will descend en masse (not that the masse is so large, but they don’t trickle is all I’m saying) having already spent too much time in the car together.

Matt’s aunt and mother fight a lot.  A lot.  And then they stop speaking to each other for months and/or years at a time.  You might not realize how awesome this makes family gatherings, so let me just say, it’s just fantastic.

Matt’s dad is pretty quiet most of the time – to the point that conversation is somewhat difficult.  This, too, makes gatherings a blast.  I hear that conversations that begin and end in 30 seconds or less are de rigueur this holiday season.  I’m only sorry I can’t put a 30-second conversation in all of your Christmas stockings as a little bonus.

Matt’s brother and brother’s girlfriend are cool people, but even they will be cranky and unpleasant by the time they arrive.  This will be justified as having spent 5 hours in a car with people who are fighting and/or silent is bound to get to even the most fun-loving person.

I don’t have to put all of them up (so sad) because we don’t have the room, but they’re all going to be at our house most of the time.  This is my real Christmas present from Santa.  Apparently I’ve been naughty.

I wish I liked them better.  I really do.  I also deal with them much better in smaller groupings.  Somehow togetherness is not their strong suit.  It exacerbates lifetimes-old rivalries and brings decades-old arguments back to the present.

They don’t arrive for 21 days and the bickering has already commenced.  There’s the question of who will be staying with us and which of the party will be staying at a hotel and what so-and-so has on his/her Christmas list. 

Then there’s the matter of food.  One person doesn’t like fish, another doesn’t eat beef, three really “don’t care for” lamb.  One would really prefer to have turkey and one is a pescetarian.  Sweet Jesus and ice cream.  So after much email negotiation, I’ve settled on  a bone-in pork loin for the bulk of the party and a largeish piece of salmon for the pain in my ass pescetarian.

I can feel the pull on the end of the line already.

Wednesday December 2, 2009 12:55 pm

finally figured out how to activate the damn voicemail on my phone.  that’s the problem here, everything takes three times as long.  feeling a lot more secure in the teaching, though i really wish i had the internet more regularly, so i could prepare things for class.   and, y’know, because i haven’t seen the daily show in almost two months.

crazy!  just think of it.

actually, not that crazy.  i am teaching little kids today, at 4 pm.  i had a bit of a shock yesterday when i was forcibly reminded that Ania had in fact told me that what they consider teenagers at the school is age 12-16.  eek.  forgot that.  so, i thought i would be teaching 15 and up, and instead i had a class of two boy clowns and 4 polite girls who, unfortunately, did not get enough attention, because the boys were talking all the time.  i need to brush up on my classroom management.  there is one co-teacher here who sat me down and went through all the classes, told me what to expect, how to manage, what to do.  the other has told me nothing, and i didn’t know, until i was told by one of the boys, that she spends the last half hour of every class playing a game.

ugh.

little kids today.  only 5 of them, so it shouldn’t be that bad.  when trisha was teaching us how to teach young learners, her experience was of korea, where there are 35 kids per class.  jesus.  i think that 10 is the biggest class of any age that i have here.

still haven’t turned in any hours, which makes me a little nervous.

i’m going to try to sit down and WRITE tonight.  only have one class tomorrow, and only one on friday, which would be the business class from last friday.  that will be a whole week here.

so much to tell, like the broken cobblestones, and Basia, and how the Czechs and the Poles don’t seem to like each other much, and how I have to try to find the bar where the native speakers hang out.  there are something like four other schools around here, and i haven’t found one other english teacher yet.  it’s not like torun, where they are falling out of the woodwork.

oh, yeah, the highlight of the small kids class yesterday was when we were talking about how things make you feel.  one of the joker-boys told me that he feels scared of the circus because the beers have to dance.  i said “beers? ”  and he said yes, beers.  “bears,” i replied, and he said “beers.”  “piwo?” and he smiled and said “yes!  the bears drink beers and then they dance!”

they do indeed.

1:08pm

To zabrzmi strasznie, ale na pierwszy koncert rock’n'rollowy poszedłem piętnaście lat temu. Z dzisiejszej perspektywy to był prawdziwy cud, bo wcześniej w odtwarzaczu magnetofonowym królowały kupione na bazarze, podrobione kasety New Kids On The Block. Więc nie wiadomo, co by się stało, gdyby nie King i Pani z Dołu. T.Love dwa lata wcześniej wydali “Pocisk Miłości”, który był takim zachłyśnięciem się wolnością. “King” był bardziej gorzki, jakby w ciągu roku, dwóch okazało się, że powodów do radości nie ma w tym kraju za wiele.

Więc na ten swój pierwszy koncert poszedłem w czasach “Kinga”, ale pamiętam tylko piosenki z “Pocisku Miłości”. No ale przede wszystkim – jak na to teraz patrzę – to były kompletnie inne czasy. Godziną rozpoczęcia nikt się nie przejmował. Ludzie stali godzinami w mroku przed klubem ACK, pod tą kościelną skarpą. Były jakieś absurdalne rewizje robione przez ochroniarzy w dresach ze streczu. Muniek miał skórzane spodnie i za dużą flanelową koszulę w czerwono-czarną kratę (potem nosili to wszyscy grunge’owcy w Polsce). Z sufitu kapał pot, a na sali było ze trzy razy więcej ludzi, niż to przewidują najbardziej liberalne przepisy BHP na świecie. Dzieciaki były zuniformizowane: glany, ale jeszcze nie Martensy, flanelowe koszule, a pod spodem czarne koszulki z nazwami ulubionych zachodnich zespołów. Miałem wtedy niecałe czternaście lat, ale średnia wieku na sali nie była dużo większa.

Piszę o tym dlatego, że parę dni temu poszedłem znowu na koncert T.Love, prawie dokładnie w tym samym miejscu. Jedyne, co się nie zmieniło, to te dzieciaki. Po raz pierwszy od wielu lat zobaczyłem w Białymstoku te glany i te koszulki z zespołami w takich ilościach. Są podobne do tych sprzed lat, z tą różnicą, że mają więcej pieniędzy i luzu. Uniformizacja była o wiele mniejsza, mniej też wyczuwało się ciśnienia na “robienie wrażenia”.

A sam zespół widziałem w międzyczasie kilkanaście razy. W tym obecnym składzie tylko Pęczak zastąpił Benedka. Chłopcy się zestarzeli, a “powołanie” zastąpił “zawód”. Ta sama songlista w każdym mieście, wszystko zaplanowane co do minuty. Nawet bisy były takie, jak wszędzie. Fabryka Miłości Nastolatków. A na widowni dużo ludzi po czterdziestce, rodzice ze swoimi dziećmi. A najsmutniejsze, że kulminacyjnymi kawałkami kończącymi gig nie są już, jak zwykle “Warszawa” i “King”, ale “Irisz” i “Stokrotka”.

… a za to już można się obrazić.

Whenever I wear mascara, my eyelashes hit my sun glasses. It drives me up a freaking wall. I would go nuts if I had to wear glasses all the time.  I have seriously considered cutting my eyelashes before to stop them from touching. *shudder*

Add this to my list of neurosis.

We are proud to announce that ACK Media (Amar Chitra Katha) will collaborate with Pescados in the production of Qilania.

They will use their proved expertise to bring to the net this unique virtual world for childs called Qilania.

Appart from being the leading company in India regarding entertainment and education for young people, they have published already a MMORPG called The Legend of Katha and a special website for children, called TinkleOnline.

We are sure we will make a very strong team

Oh hi, where have I been? Since the whole sky-darkening-earlier thing and the upcoming holidays doesn’t feel mentally punishy enough, I’ve gone and begun this whole NaNoWriMo thing.  Again!  (Third time is a charm, yes?) Oh and did I mention I neglected to make this decision until this the third day in? So I’m already behind and a slave to the word count.  I’ve upped my caffeine intake so much my eyes are vibrating and I’m already eating in a less healthy way (if that is possible).  So I will not be here for awhile, unless I’m procrastinating or whatever.  Send e-mails of encouragement.  Or money orders and cigarettes.   It’s so dark outside.  I’m contemplating ordering this stabby hat. I’m so excited!  I’m so scared! I miss me already.

Avete acquistato l’aggiornamento di Windows 7 e volete installarlo sul pc o il notebook da zero senza problemi? Ecco di seguito una piccola guida all’installazione.

Effettuare il boot dal disco di aggiornamento di Windows 7;
Avviare la procedura guidata per l’installazione del sistema;
Quando richiesto, NON inserire il numero di serie;
Togliere il segno di spunta dalla voce Attiva automaticamente Windows non appena è disponibile una connessione a Internet;
Completare normalmente la procedura d’installazione ed avviare Windows 7;
Assicurarsi che non ci siano aggiornamenti pendenti da installare dopo il riavvio del sistema (se ci sono, riavviare il PC ed installarli);
Fare click sul pulsante Start;
Digitare regedit nella barra di ricerca veloce e premere il tasto Invio;
Rispondere in maniera affermativa all’avviso del controllo account utente;
Recarsi nella cartella HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Setup\OOBE;
Fare doppio click sulla chiave MediaBootInstall ed impostare il suo valore su 0;
Avviare il prompt dei comandi con privilegi da amministratore;
Digitare il comando slmgr -rearm e premere il tasto Invio per resettare lo stato dell’attivazione di Windows;
Riavviare il PC;
Attivare normalmente Windows 7 (tramite l’utility accessibile dal menu Start e/o dal Pannello di controllo).

Okay, so I know you’re supposed to get dizzy and emotional in camel.  The dizzy happens often – the emotional component is infrequent.  For the last few days, though, I’ve gotten so dizzy that I come close to losing consciousness.  Actually, I collapsed backwards yesterday in second set and hit my head pretty hard.

It panics me as it’s happening.  And when I come out I’m so disoriented I can barely move for a few seconds.  I’ve been paying attention to my breathing.  It’s good, even, and calm.  And then, suddenly, the dark edges collapse in and I can’t see the back wall anymore.  I can’t see anything.  I can’t feel my arms or head and I know if I stay in the pose, I’ll actually pass out. 

I have low blood pressure.  I’ve been a fainter all my life.  I know when it’s about to happen.  I’ve been very close to losing consciousness several times in the last few days.  It’s really only in camel, though.  Every other pose is fine.

I’ve never had trouble with camel before.  Possibly I’m hitting some kind of wall that I need to break through.  Maybe I’m blocking something emotional that’s fucking with me.  I don’t know.  All I know is that it’s kind of irritating.

I know I have to be patient and take my practice as it is every day.  I’m aware that continuing to do the work will finally get me where I need to be, but sweet Jesus and ice cream, man!  It’s always a bastard when these things pop up so suddenly.

Note to self:  work on your patience and letting go of expectation. 

Jeebus! No time for panic!

My agency just called me*:
 
Medicals – done
Birth Certficate – done
Passport – done

All the above docs have already been translated and received in the Nairobi office. I did not expect this to happen before mid-November!
 
All that is left is the travel visa. This will likely be done within 6-8 weeks. I’m starting to get really optimistic about spending Christmas with my daughter

*it seems my most pitiful posts keep triggering these phone calls!

So much to do! So much to freak out about!

• Why is it that all my well-thought-out plans suddenly seem like a load of nonsense?
• What if my travel date is over Christmas? Will we have to skip the UK detour so I can spend the 25th with my daughter?
• Can I really afford to take 6 months off – money-wise and job stability-wise?
• Will I really be able to take Biset to England for a month next spring?
• Do I really have to compromise now in order to achieve my 3-year plan?
• Do I need to change my 3-yr plan to a 5-yr plan?
• Can I get the basement reno done before we leave?
• How the heck am I supposed to get all my niggling chores/tasks done before travel? I know damn well there will be none of that going on when Biset is home.
• How am I supposed to be well-rested before we travel when I can’t sleep more than 2 or 3 hours every night?

Thank God I am off next week so I can chill and start tackling stuff. I know I’ll feel much better when I can start making some real progress towards being prepared for travel.

Note: those were all rhetorical questions; no need to give me the answers unless you have them

…preferably printed out and laminated on 3×5 flash cards

…in bullet-form

…and with graphics

…and with a side order of Valium

P.S. Thank you for the wonderful comments on the previous post. I can’t read them without crying every time.

Okay, so I admit that I am at least 90% responsible for the irritation I encountered today while looking for a dress to wear to a holiday cocktail party.  My first mistake was going shopping while having my period.  This is something that is colossally stupid for many reasons, but foremost are excessive irritability and water retention.  My second mistake was going into chain stores.  I hate them all (except Loehmann’s) under good circumstances, so I should have stayed away.  Having acknowledged all of this, I was still entirely annoyed and disappointed by every store I walked into. 

I should have just kept going past Banana Republic whose entire job it is, these day, to be a let down.  I remember when Banana Republic was cool.  Then they were acquired by Gap and now they are to Gap what Lexus is to Toyota. 

As a general rule, I don’t shop at any of the Gap stores.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the clothes, I just really hate when someone says to me, “I have that same top,” or “I almost bought that.”  I should also note that I don’t always care what I look like, but when I do care, I care a lot.

So, there I was perusing the tiny, shiny dresses and the halter tops that even the skinniest women look hefty in when one of the saleswomen skulked up behind me and scared the everloving shit out of me.  “Aren’t those great?”  Uh, no.  But I just smiled.

“Is there something I can help you find?”  She was very enthusiastic.  I like enthusiasm – in others.  So I told her, “I’m looking for something to wear to a holiday cocktail party.  Fancyish, but not too formal.”

She lit up like a firecracker.  She told me she thought she had “the perrrfect thing!”  Thing?  That implies one.  One would have been sufficient if it had, indeed, been perrrfect.  However, she led me to a rack of frilly, low-cut tops and started whipping an assortment of things (plural) off and handing them to me.  Then she went to the dresses and pulled out some itty-bitty numbers.  “Do you prefer pants or skirts?”  I told her skirts – since pants almost always require alteration on someone as short as I am.  She took me to a dressing room and hung all of my prospective outfits up and then left me alone so she could gather skirts. 

I was already skeptical.  I’m not huge, but I’m not skinny and I’m also not 22.  Everything looked like it was made for some anorexic teenager.  I started with the first dress.  I could already tell it was going to be inappropriately short.  I went on, though.

When my “associate” returned with the skirts, I actually laughed out loud.  They didn’t even look like they’d cover my ass all the way.  “Do you have anything longer?”  “Uh.  I think so.  But it would be more businessy.” 

I realize Sex and the City is partly to blame for this trend, but when did fancy become synonymous with looking like a tart?  I mean, really.

I realized then that I was in the wrong store, and most likely, the wrong decade to find what I’m looking for.  I’m going to try to find a nice vintage store to find a nice vintage dress that covers my tits and my ass simultaneously.