Women are always cautious of the guys they see in clubs and can always tell who’s out to have fun and whose there for the pull. By making sure women know you are out to have a good time, you can not only reduce the chances of rejection, but also increase your attraction by women who you haven’t even approached yet! I am going to improve your chances of success with a little tip known as pre-selection.

Now pre-selection in English is the term used when girls become attracted to a guy who is seen spending time with other girls. The girl can see that the other girls are comfortable around him and because of this, in her mind a competitive trigger goes off, she wants to spend time with him too. This slight bit of envy is enough for the girl to try and make an approach herself, or do something to get the guy to notice her. If he doesn’t notice but is doing his rounds meeting women, his chances for success will be high.

The pre-selection tool gives you a ‘higher status’ almost as though you’re a celebrity. The hotter the women you spend time with, the more attracted other girls will be as their competitive side takes over and soon enough they will be fighting for your attention. Keeping your attention equally among your female friends is the best approach, whether you are trying to attract them or not, your newly acquired celebrity status will pass throughout a club like wildfire. Women will see you and want to know more.

Creating pre-selection is incredibly easy and will increase your attraction greatly. No girl in a club wants to be hit on by a lonely Larry (sorry if your called Larry) they want an alpha male whose surrounded by hot girls. Not only are the girls jealous…so are other guys! In their mind they think your banging them all!

If you have female friends then make sure your partying with them. Get yourself seen and eventually start making your moves on other women in the club. This can include ‘social proofing’ and the use of a pivot’ (these explained in later articles). If in case you don’t have any female friends, which sadly for me was how I started out, then go to a club with mates and get yourself talking to all the hot girls about! Being seen chatting to girls all over the club will raise your status and do the same thing. So if you enter the club with your guy mates, then you could be leaving with a hot girl or two!

Pre-selection as you will find happens every time you talk to a girl. Everyone around you becomes curious what you were both talking about and usually want to get involved too. The more women you talk to, the more your confidence goes up and when your confidence goes up, the more women you talk to! A perfect cycle that will attract more women to you!

When we go out and meet beautiful women, we always find ourselves in the same situation guys. Hoping that we stay in the girl’s good books, we agree with everything they say and ‘suck up’ to them. While trying to find some common ground, we instead get rejected, ever wondered why?

Guys! I’m going to fill you in on a little secret…women hate guys who agree with EVERYTHING they say!!! So I’m going to introduce to you the concept of breaking rapport. Creating rapport is all about building comfort with another person while breaking rapport does somewhat the opposite. Breaking rapport is all about showing you’re different to others guys by giving your personal opinion and your perspective on things towards someone else. It creates a somewhat discomfort in the interaction and gives the opportunity for the girl to be challenged on her beliefs and have a conversation that’s different to every other guy she meets in a club. This can be done in a few ways.

Voicing your own opinion – When talking to a woman, having your own opinion on matters shows mature and dominant characteristics. What you find when you disagree with the girl, is that you begin challenging her and getting her to qualify to you. You become different to many guys who generally agree with her and she WILL want to have a conversation with you, proving to you why she likes the things she does. Breaking rapport and getting her to qualify will not only increase the length of your conversations, but build attraction towards you and will begin to invest in you.

Playful Teasing – Out of the three different ways to break rapport, this is the most interesting and definitely my favourite! This is all about winding the girl up and playfully teasing her. Challenging her interests in a way that will not offend her and will in fact make her enjoy her time with you more because you’re making it interesting! Every woman out there wants a guy who can tease her and it puts her in a good mood. If you can master this, you will be unstoppable at building attraction!

Creating Discomfort – Forcefully creating awkwardness during a conversation causes a discomfort. If you create the thought in the woman’s mind that there is a chance that she can lose you, the girl will want to invest and fix the problem. This can depend though on how well you built comfort with her. Whether you chose to walk away and see her later on in the club, or during the conversation you decide you don’t like something she says and go quiet, the girl will try to change this state and fix the problem. Instead of chasing the girl, it becomes the girl chasing you.

Learning how to perform each of these breaking rapport techniques does take practice. But overtime you will understand what is acceptable and unacceptable to say in conversations (social intelligence) and build up enough attraction to eventually go for a kiss (Kiss-close) or sex (Full-close).

There we have it guys! If you can learn to voice your own opinion on life without agreeing with everything the girl has to say, you will find that these beautiful women out there will be attracted to the person that YOU are, and will be falling head over heels to hear what you have to say next.

P.S

Breaking rapport is the catalyst that will drive her attraction towards you. It reduces the chances of you falling into the friend zone and increases the chances of her investing herself in you. All you need to seal the deal is to get her to fully qualify and reward with Kino…but that’s for another article…

Have you guys ever experienced a gorgeous girl turning you down just because you asked for her number? Even after you have had a great conversation with her? The answer is more than likely yes! And here is the secret…you don’t ask for her number, you tell her! But before you guys turn into number closing robbers, forcing her to give you her number at will…Let me explain how and why.

Beautiful woman are asked to give out there numbers more times than you could ever imagine. A lot of the time they do. To them, handing out their number is a minor thing. They have the choice to just ignore the call or text and hope the guy takes the hint to not contact them again. This becomes the generic situation for most guys who haven’t kept the girl’s interest when it comes to closing.

When getting a woman’s number, instead of using the generic question, ‘Can I have your number?’ you need to ask it in a more dominant and attractive way. Let’s put it like this… When you ask for her number, you’re like a child asking for permission to get her number. This is NOT attractive! And puts the girl off.

The right way to get a girl’s number is to tell her to put her number in your phone for one of the following justifiable reasons:

• The Networking Close – Although it may not seem relevant, helping a girl out with a situation, where you have said you know someone who can help her out, is a great way to raise your social value. Helping people out always gives great rewards! Especially from women who are grateful!
• The Party Close – Inviting a girl and her friends to a party you’re having or going to is a great way to see each other again. Social events are great for meeting up again as everyone’s out to enjoy themselves! This makes the second interaction more laid back and if things go wrong or you’re both in need of a break from each other, you both have your groups of friends to go back to.
• The Place of Interest Close – If you and the girl discover you both have something in common, then suggest you both should go there i.e: art museum, shopping centre etc. (this close could lead to an instant date if the place isn’t far from your current location).
• Direct close – If you’ve built the attraction and even gone into the conversation direct, then there’s no reason why you can’t tell the girl you liked chatting to her and it would be great to see her again.

Closing in any of these ways will make you stand out from all the other guys who have asked for her number. And standing out from the others guarantees a real number and a very likely chance she will want to see you again. So there we go! As long as you give a justified reason for seeing the woman again, she will be more than happy to give you her number!

SLWK

stay tuned for a FCF of Adam…

On the 16th September, Chelcee with return to her city after supporting artists such as Olly Murs, Tinie Tempah and all things in between. Don’t miss out on what’s set to be a corker of a show. We love Chelcee and everytime we’ve seen her perform she has always delivered.

For those still unenlightened as to what pick up artistry may be, it is the art of picking up women. I suppose the same phrase can refer to the art of picking up men too, but I’m not overly interested in that specific art form, so I’m not quite sure. People like Adam Lyons and Richard Gambler are capable of picking up any woman with a statistical success rate somewhere around 80%. And by picking up, I mean the kind of interaction between male and female that is the basis for our, and pretty much every other, race’s survival. What I don’t mean is physically lifting them up off the ground, although the success rate for that would be approximately the same, I guess.

“They must have grown up in a model bureau or on a pirate ship brimming with comely women-pirates or something,” you say. Nope, I answer. A few years ago they were as good with women as the homeless guy under your local bridge. Now, they have slept with hot women numbering into triple digits. “What, how is that possible?” you ask flabbergastedly. They simply practiced. An extreme variant of practice called immersion. It’s kind of self explanatory, but I’ll help. You immerse yourself in the thing you want to be good at. You think about it, read about it, watch movies about it, not to mention do it for a substantial amount of time every day, every week, until you get good. And then you continue, if you want to. And that is what I intend to do. 

Do you remember the part where I said “Tomorrow” ? I lied. You should replace it with “in a couple of years.” Tomorrow sounds a little more sensational, though. I’m sorry, it will never happen again. Now that we have gotten this little commotion behind us, you can proceed with the reading.

What you just read in italic is going to be the first entry of my future blog, which, in case you didn’t know already, is about me moving to LA and learning pick up artistry, becoming a pick up artist and eventually doing proper pick up artistry. That may sound a little monotonous to read about, but I assure you that it will not be. What it will be, on the other hand, is immensely, laughter inducingly, earth-shatteringly awesome. Also it will help you on your way to be able to woo any kind of woman you want, which includes improving your conversational skills, people skills, body language, make you more awesome and generally boost your quality of life into the extremes!

“Then what is this blog for?” you may ask. I will tell you. This blog exist so that I’ll be learning to write better and attract a humongous pile of loyal readers, so that when I do start my proper future PUA blog, it will be so stupefyingly magnificent that I will amass alot of wealth and power and fame! Oh, and also so I can help people with laughter deficiency and/or female contact deprivation. But the latter comes later.

This blog is less about moving to LA to become a pick up artist and more about waiting to move to LA to become a pick up artist. This (the waiting part, and why I wait) is something I will write more about in the next entry of this astounding blog of mine. So, until next time: Take care, spread the wisdom you have witnessed here this glorious day, and remember to convey the URL from whence it came!

By the way, did I happen to mention something about pick up or some kind of artist? Sorry about that, I’ll try to keep it to a minimum, because this blog is about what comes before that part in my life. Also known as now. Or these days.

*Of course you’ll never be able to talk intelligibly with otters or fly using only your own limbs**, but that’s not what I meant.

**Unless genetic engineering gets really advanced, that is………….

When in school, Adam was made fun of by his pals that he would never get a girl friend. But after that he worked difficult on how to become additional attractive to ladies and also on how to understand the psychology of attracting others. The first 11 years of his efforts eluded success and he could not comprehend the psychology of girls as no relationships had been effective. The book by Neil Strauss, The Game changed his view and soon he became number 1 in attraction strategies.

Adam strongly states that every man needs to deal with the anxiousness when the particular person approaches one thing in the most careful way. He can by no means succeed if he can not get over this. When some are happy with a small circle of pals, other people can’t be pleased with a simple life and Adam’s approaches play a good role in changing their life to a dynamic one.

Adam Lyons is presently the head coach of PUA Training.

The reason could actually be your upbringing – no one ever told you how to talk to the opposite sex.

Dating coach Adam Lyons has just the solution for you. CBS 2’s Steve Bartelstein sat down with him for some tips that can help you improve your game.
To learn more, click here for AttractionExplained.com

First of all, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who is not hardcore into this shit. There’s some heavy theory, and it’s basically nonstop. It’s like raiding in WoW. Don’t do it until you max out on your level.

I also feel as though I should set the stage for people that aren’t really that much into The Community.

It seems as though there is a fundamental clash of philosophies in The Community. There are the ones that believe in indirect game and then there is direct game.

Indirect game – “Hey guys I need a quick opinion on something. <Ask open ended question about relationships>. Wow, you would think that.” <Keep playfully teasing your target>

Direct game – “Wow you look cute. What’s your name?”

I tend to steer towards indirect because I feel kinda weird doing direct, though I usually find myself doing direct game between 5-10 shots (in which case I pass out). I think my pledge bros still have a lot of footage of my “direct gaming”. I just know it’s hidden in someone’s harddrive, just waiting to come out if I ever happen to run for Congress or something.

I also learned of what I refer to as “Super Direct Game”. They go for a technique called “Insta-Fuck” to close the deal in 10 minutes. The Guru allegedly can point out which girls are there to fuck. You approach them with “you are so beautiful”. Not sure what I think about this.

I found that the recurring motif that the PUA Gurus emphasized was something I heard when I was 5 while reading Alice in Wonderland.

————-

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go?” was his response. “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”

————

For sure. You gotta have your goals in mind before you start this quest. It also applies to life in general. Where will you be in one year? 3 years? 5 years? Have every detail planned out so you know if you’re moving and going in the right direction. If you don’t plan to go anywhere, you’ll end up nowhere.

They also said that you need to take one step at a time. It’s like my broker says: “It takes little steps every day, not giant leaps every year.” Everything in life is a test. Are you gonna go to the gym today, or drink a diet coke and call that “exercise”?*
* I know, Diet Coke increases metabolism due to the caffeine so technically you’d lose weight, but you get the point.

Now, one of the people I really wanted to see was Hypnotica, and he is just as great live as he was in Style’s workshop. He is a master at inner game, which of course is preferable to outer game (more on that later).

He brought up a good point. You need to surround yourself with 5-10 girls a day. Even if platonic, it helps. I have so many friends that just want a girlfriend, but don’t hang out with girls at all. They never really learn how to deal with them. It’s a completely unrealistic expectation, but I can’t exactly bring it up to them, or their virgin defensiveness* kicks in. I got kicked out of someone’s house before for telling him what was wrong with his Game (on a side note, a lot of his classmates refer to him as an “Asian Michael Cera”.)
*You know, when someone’s 20 something, still horny, and defensive when someone brings it up.

Your goal should be to improve yourself. If your goal is to get chicks, you’re missing the point. Validation can’t come from outside.

I was also surprised to see Tyler Durden, which I think is much less of a creeper than Style made him out to be in The Game. I do, however, understand that the antagonism was necessary for the narrative of the book.

Anyway, Tyler gave us exercises to work in groups to keep talking, no matter what. It is critical to building value when you don’t know the other person. I realized very quickly that I was actually very good at this, and the other people in my group sucked. A lot. But then I guess I’m a salesperson so this makes sense.

Adam Lyons won #1 PUA in the world again. I wanted to drop by and say hi for 20 seconds or something, but found myself too scared to approach the #1 guy in the world when he was surrounded by other gurus. Goddamn it.

——————————

Inner and Outer Game

——————————-

Outer Game – Knowing what to do and say. Like knowing the posture to have, tonality to have, and what to say. Choosing to talk about relationships and mysterious things, asking open ended questions, avoiding depressing and creepy topics, palm reading, and psych routines are outer game. There’s a lot of canned material, but it’s a great stepping stone for people starting off. Unless you’re with a really hot girl, she probably hasn’t really heard the majority of routines before (and if she has, she won’t point it out and call you out on it unless she’s a total bitch).

Inner Game – Having the inner confidence to attract people. You know, deep inside, that you’re a badass. You are totally separated from the outcome, because it doesn’t matter to you whether this girl talks to you or not. You can just go talk to another hot girl instead. Your value comes from within yourself, and you don’t need hot girls to talk to you to remind you that you are number one.
Side note: A lot of people that think they have inner game…don’t. It takes a fair amount of EQ and social awareness to notice this though. For those of you that know my sphere of friends, Jakiro is an example of someone who thinks he has inner game.

Now, obviously, inner game > outer game. Who would want canned material showing a superficial (and artificial) confidence if you can have the real confidence? It’s like getting a Band-Aid versus surgery to fix a problem.

Because for most people, inner game can’t come to you without learning outer game first.

If you play WoW and have a level 80 Paladin (or whatever the fuck is max level these days, I stopped when max was 60), chances are you’re not too popular with the ladies. How do you feel inner confidence when you have nothing to back it up?

So you learn outer game. You learn some routines to get them interested (I personally like palm reading and psychology tests). Then they begin to pay attention to you. They begin to hang onto your every word, because you become valuable and authoritative to them. Your confidence goes up. You can talk to a woman for about 2 hours based on Outer Game (maybe more, maybe less. I can do about 2 hours).

Then you have women paying attention to you. Then you slowly, slowly but surely, learn inner game. When you start to get surrounded by females, you learn to stop caring so much.

It’s like playing blackjack. You learn the basic chart before you learn to count cards.

An interesting thing is, you can still tell who has inner game and who has outer game. Even if you read every book on pick-up and every forum post and you’re making a completely new routine, you can still tell he’s not inwardly confident if you’re good.

Tucker Max taught us to look at the eyes. The whole body can lie, but the eyes do not. I think it was a line in Scarface too. Unless you’re CIA status, chances are your eyes give away your true intent. I don’t know how many times I looked like I knew what I was doing, but had quivering eyes underneath it all.

I think I’m pretty decent at outer game, but the next step is …. FUCKING DIFFICULT. And the final step is always the most difficult. And it’s the place where the most people give up. And that is a fucking shame.

Make sure I don’t give up.

Let me know if you have anything to contribute to this conversation. I’m sure I’m wrong about some stuff, and I’m sure I’ve left some stuff out.

—————————-

“If I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won’t,
you think you’re cooler than me”

-Mike Posner, “Cooler Than Me”

———————————————————–

This chorus pretty much summarizes the whole thing.

I was talking to this older woman. She wasn’t really that attractive but I was just talking to talk with someone just to be social and practice mirroring body language etc. The campus is dead this time of year. I see out of the corner of my eye these two really hot girls walking by and I keep talking to the woman. Eventually I realize I need to get away from this older woman and see if I can approach these girls even though they were already out of view, but I knew where they were going. I introduced myself, was polite and said I have to go and left, and walked into this building.

At this point I’ve given up on seeing the two girls again because I figured they went to class or went to their car. I leave out of the far entrance of this one building furthest away from where they would be and I noticed them walking on the past quite a bit ahead of me but parallel to where I was walking. They ended up converging on the path I was walking but were ahead of me. I was thinking of something to open with, and then I saw she had a really tiny purse, so the “tiny purse” opener was born.

I also followed what a friend told me and walked slightly faster than them and then WAITED until I was slightly in front of them and they had already seen me before approaching. I turned my head and said:

me: Hey.. I just have to tell you.. You’ve got the tiniest purse I have ever seen! That thing is so small!
her: Oh I know, it’s so hard to fit stuff in there sometimes! It’s a Coach, I got it at… (can’t remember)
me: A Coach? Don’t you know that’s like the ghetto of hand bags? Everyone wants a Louie Vuitton. *her friend laughs*
her: Yea, I know I’m not ‘with it’.
me: Well it’s just that I heard last week that Coach is the least desired brand because it’s the easiest to counterfeit.
her: Oh yeah! I read an article about that the other day..
me: Really?

At this point a buddy of mine who teaches here passed by me saying “Hey dude!” but he was sporting some facial hair reminiscent of something from World of Warcraft so I didn’t quite recognize him, however when I looked over I did recognize it was him. So we’re starting to walk down these stairs at the side of a building. It’s daytime.

me: So did you guys register for classes or did you take classes?
them: Actually we’re all signed up. This will be our first semester in the Fall.
me: Are you guys right out of high school?
them: Yes.
me: How old are you guys?
purse girl: 18.
other girl: 17.
me: (to other girl) Ooh, you’re off limits.. *points to purse girl* but you’re not! What are you studying anyway?
purse girl: Nursing.
me: Wow. Almost every girl I meet here is studying Nursing.
her: *laughs* yep.

Here’s where I mess up. For some reason I get a bit scared because we’re walking into a remote and secluded part of the campus where there’s only parking lots and I don’t know if they’re going to their car or what, and I don’t wanna be the guy following them to their car, even though I wasn’t following them. We were talking and everything was cool.

me: So are you guys walking to your car to go home?
purse girl: No, we were just taking a look around campus to check it out before class starts.
me: Ah that’s cool. Well, I hate to cut this short but I haven’t seen my buddy there in ages and I’m gonna go and talk to him and see what he’s up to, but we should keep in touch. What’s the best way of keeping in touch with you?
her: E-mail. I check that every day.

So I give her my phone to put her e-mail address on. While she’s typing it, I tell her friend “You know you’ve got really pretty eyes. It’s too bad you’re 17.” and she said “I’ll be 18 in October!” to which I said “That’s cool.” which was a lame response really.

Anyway so I e-mailed her and she hasn’t replied yet. I honestly shouldn’t have bailed on the set. I didn’t have to get back to work for quite a while, but I’m guessing as usual I hadn’t built enough comfort to warrant her wanting to talk to me again.

I actually opened this other girl yesterday who I managed to get a solid Facebook close from after just barely talking because I thought she was really cute and I had to get back to work, but the thing is. I asked for her Facebook, which is really what I want to get away from doing because I felt “I hadn’t talked to her long enough to have much chances of getting a #” rather than because I wanted her Facebook. If I could have her number, I would get that, not Facebook. I never talk to the girls I Facebook close anyway. Trying to correct that situation. She actually did add me, but she’s got a boyfriend.

And today I actually got opened by a girl. I forced the IOI but instead of getting an IOI back I got a verbal greeting! I suppose that’s the ultimate form of IOI lol. I had to run errands during my lunch so I didn’t really do much but introduce myself and leave, her name was Patty. I wasn’t really upset about it, because I mean wtf why should I be upset if I walk away from a girl? That’s a scarcity mentality. Plus, there’s a good chance I’ll see her walking around once during the first few weeks of class, and if not, there’s going to be TONS of hotties in her place. TONS. I can’t wait. It will be the first start of a major semester after I discovered the community. Should be lots of fun!

ps: I learned about the Coach thing from watching one of AFC Adam’s bootcamp lectures. I texted my ex-gf and asked her about it, because she’s a designer handbag aficionado (she has like 15 designer purses) and she said it was true. That Coach is the most counterfeited and that’s why girls who really know purses avoid Coach. Louie Vuitton is the second most easily counterfeited. Adam just said that it’s ghetto he didn’t say why. By the way, my ex wouldn’t stop texting me about it. So now you know! Don’t know what to talk about? See if she has a designer purse.

In the article he talked about how all the old pickup lines have been so overused that they’re shameful to even allow out of your mouth. Instead, he recommends the “functional line”, which is typically a useful question. If it gets you into a conversation great. If not, you just pass on with no embarassment.

Guess what he uses as a great example…

“Where’s the nearest Starbucks?”

First and foremost this is an art. Let me make it really clear that in no way shape or form should you be insulting girls. Although at the same time there is going to be one out of five hundred that insulting will work for. Mystery says and I fully agree that correct response for a NEG is laughter.

Teasing: Cocky Funny Negging

I am really going to classify every type of teasing, cocky funny, False Disqualification, Breaking rapport, and neg into the same category. They are all forms of breaking rapport.

Examples

You and I would never get along

You are bad news

Where is your off button?

Total troublemaker

The concept of Breaking Rapport (BR) and when to use it

You ever wonder why sometimes when you BR it works wonderfully and other times it blows you completely out of set. Before you can ever break rapport with a girl she must already be seeking rapport with you. If she is indifferent to you then breaking rapport with her will do nothing. Love and hate you can work with while indifference is the killer.

For me there are only 3 specific times when you want to BR.

1. You must break rapport in every set in some way to establish attraction. Notice this could be as simple as taking a step backward or as intense as going ‘You are such a bitch ’ (I want to stress that you must have the calibration down and no matter what you are doing you are only doing it right if she laughs afterward)

2. The second time is if she Breaks rapport with you. This could be in a form of a shit test or in the form of non compliance. Here you have two options. Ignore the bad behavior or you can ‘punish’ the behavior by breaking rapport with her. NOTICE when you break rapport in this situation you are countering her bad behavior and you MUST follow up your Break in Rapport with a chance for her to redeem herself.

Example:

Her: Any negative behavior.

PUA: Aww isn’t that cute your such a troublemaker I bet you keep all the losers at bay with that. (Give her a chance to redeem herself after you tease her)

3. Finally there are those girls who live and die to tease. Most girls only need a little tiny bit but then there are the other ones, the ones that eat and breathe teasing. You will get into battles with them and it is required to constantly break rapport with them. My primary FB who I have been seeing for a year now constantly battles with me even to this day. I love it because I naturally like the aggressive teasing. Some girls do it and some don’t. Go after the type that fits your personality. Basically I am saying that sometimes Breaking Rapport hardcore never ends and other times you only want to do it sparingly.

There exists many social SUBCOMMUNICATIONS that convey social value.

-breaking rapport
-neutral to rapport
-trying to gain rapport

This goes on in social interactions all day long. Notice that the “coolest” people in the club venue are trying to break rapport with everyone. (They even
wear sunglasses in a dark club, to convey that they are too cool and don’t want to make eye contact with anyone).

They roll in with their Cadillac SUV, hot chicks in tow, and don’t talk to anyone in the whole club except maybe the people similar to them. YET, if they were to approach YOU or YOUR GROUP in the club, you’d chat THEM, despite that they’d blow you off.

You’d chat them because they have high social value in that specific venue. People are DRAWN to interact with people of value, even if they’re not attracted. If Bill Gates wanted to chat, would I? Yes. Even if it was about nothing that helped me whatsoever, I’d just do it for some reason.

What Style is talking about here (which is a related to stuff I’ve discussed extensively on the Mystery Lounge), is that value re-adjustments may be necessary PRIOR to gaming.

Gaming = emotionally arousing (pumping her through states in a way that keeps her happy, aka C&F, and many other ways)

A girl can still CUT OFF who she allows to emotionally arouse her.

VALUE / ATTRACTION are DISTINCT.

Value is a FILTER to see if the girl will ALLOW you to attract her.

Think to the REVERSE.

Girls are aroused EMOTIONALLY (they purchase romance novels that are descriptive).

Guys are aroused mostly VISUALLY and PHYSICALLY (they purchase porno and lapances).

A fat girl approaches me, and starts touching me. She is arousing me because she is touching my legs with her hands. She is breathing on me. I’m feeling myself getting hard.

Immediately I push her away from me, and CUT OFF what she is doing. Do I do this because I am INCAPABLE of deriving some pleasure from fucking her?

No.

Men fucked fat chicks for years, back when they were socially desirable (IOW: HAD VALUE). There’s no biological reason for me not fucking her. It’s just social.

Similarly, girls emotionally cut off men from gaming them. They won’t even acknowledge that you exist, or if they do, what you’re saying is just cute or entertaining.

Again, they are of high social value, and thus exhibit this by breaking rapport with people (both through verbal communications “why are you asking me this.. go away”, and non-verbal subcommunications like turning away from you, not matching your facial expressions or excitement levels, not being responsive to your presence, etc)

Value is established by:
-OUTER APPEARANCE (genetics, grooming, and clothing subcommunications)
-SOCIAL PROOF (both your entourage, the level to which the surrounding women are appearing to be unlocked to you (which is made obvious by things they subcommunicate as you are in the area, and girls pickup on this), and the level to which people treat you (ie: are they breaking rapport with you, being neutral to it, or trying to gain it)
-ATTITUDE (bodylanguages and tonalities that you convey, by the words that you say and the way that you say it, and by the people who you interact with in a particular order and the way you interact with them)
So with girls, you can open with a NEUTRAL OPINION OPENER, and this is NOT ENOUGH.

Hence Style’s “Neg First” post.

This was derived from “JAP Busting I & II”

You must break rapport, perhaps several times, prior to gaming. Girls will not ALLOW themselves to become emotionally heated (aka; for their buying temperature to increase) for someone who does not pass through their filter of VALUE.

So what does that amount to in practical terms? Here’s an example:
TD: Hey guys, I need a female opinion.. Do girls think that the rockstar David Bowie is hot?
HBS: I dunno..
TD: Hey, you’re cool.. You guys are smart.. You’re from Long Island, I can tell..
HBS: Hey, we’re not from there..
TD: Yeah OK.. ummm BYE (turns back)
HBS: WTF?
TD: hahaa.. OK remain calm.. My friends little sister gets this poster of David Bowie on her wall. That is an OLD MAN.. Do you guys like OLD MEN?!?!
HBS: Why are you asking us this?
TD: (looks at wingman like they are RETARDED and mumbles)…. I’m talking. (turns back HARD, engages other set)
HBS: What a jerk blah blah..
TD: (turns around) hahhhaa, are you guys still talking about me?? haahhaa. (turns back)
HBS: No, we’re just saying blah blah
TD: (now commencing NORMAL game) You guys are so cute.. You know, I’m going to adopt you guys, you guys will be my new little sisters..
This is a VALUE ADUSTMENT. Neg first. (I’d also game a high value set differently, but that’s another story.. I’d use the same stuff, but at a different rate, direct it at different people, and also alot less of it)

You do the SAME with UG THEORY. Try to gain rapport with them first.

Value calibrations imply rapidly ascertaining what their perceived social value is, and matching it.

Girls are typically only inclined to allow themselves to be gamed with someone of simliar value.

There are exceptions however.

TRUST
ATTRACTION
VALUE

These three things are SUBCOMMUNICATED at all times.

Some girls want guys with high value ONLY (NYC JAPs are like this, ChickJunkie’s 10$ Opener is good for girls like this, although an NYC JAP would probably pull out her attack whistle if you tried it on them)

Some girls value TRUST, which is subcommunicated through many things. Like when you see guys who are out with their girlfriends, and NEVER turn to face them. The girls always have to do the initiating. Some guys telegraph this, and it telegraphs trust. This is why simlar to girls who just want high value guys (like NYC Jewish American Princesses), some girls want to fuck gay guys and convert them. Queers subcommunicate feelings of trust so strong that some girls fall in love with them instantly. Weird – ask 10 girls and 2 or 3 will answer you this.

Some girls value ATTRACTION. These girls want the construction worker or badboy or the prejudicial racist stereotype of black guys.

There are also piles of PROFILES for this that you can spot, and piles of subcommunications that you can learn (think “AMOG TACTICS” post – what do the out-alpha tactics subcommunicate, beyond their surface verbal level?)

AN EXAMPLE OF VALUE:

Sickboy007 and I want entrance into an exclusive club. We don’t only want entrance, but we want it free and we want to be bumped to the front of the line.

We do this all the time – I sit back and pretend to be a celeb. I say nothing, acknowledge nobody, and act aloof. Sickboy007 is my manager.

Sickboy007: Hey, we’re heading up to VIP.
BOUNCER: Are you on the guest list?
Sickboy007: You guys treat us really good here. Actually, we’re going to need to bring in our friends tommorow, and we need it Saturday as well.
BOUNCER: Are you guys celebrities? Who are you guys?
Sickboy007: (pauses)
BOUNCER: Hello?
Sickboy007: Yeah, umm we’ll definetely need that Saturday. I like you guys, you guys treat us good.
BOUNCER: OK bring in you and your friend. Talk to the manager about Saturday and Sunday, I don’t do that stuff.

TD & Sickboy007 skip the line, free cover, admitted to VIP.

Look at the subcommunications. He didn’t answer the bouncer’s quesitons directly. He barely looked the guy in the eyes. He didn’t shift his body towards him. He didn’t show any nervousness or regard for the bouncer’s physical presence. He didn’t even answer the quesitons with anything COHERENT.

The bouncer is TRAINED to pick up on this behaviour, and admit high value guests.

I’m not sure if this makes sense, but this is the behaviour we use in the pickup of high value girls.

Tyler Durden

“You don’t want customers…you want RAVING FANS!!!” Anthony Robbins

One of our students at City University had been trying to change jobs for a few years. After learning some basic rapport skills such as mirroring and matching, and using these at interviews, he was at last successful in landing a brilliant position in The City. In practising her rapport skills in interview situations, another student has become a television presenter.

Anthony Robbins is a master of rapport’s matching and mirroring skills. These skills have become so natural he does not even need to think about ‘doing’ them. They are automatic. And I believe he used these exact skills in his two-hour audience with Princess Diana on his recent visit to England!

“Personal Success” readers are also taking advantage of NLP tips and exercises and learning new and powerful communication skills, and are changing their lives for the better as a result.

What about you? Are you ready to try something new and make those changes now?

MIRRORING

In last month’s issue, Rapport – The Magic Ingediant – Part 1, we introduced mirroring. Mirroring is physically ‘copying’ the behaviour of another person, as if reflecting their movements back to them. This is done with respect and subtlety. At an unconscious level the person with whom you are communicating in this way feels acknowledged and appreciates your interest in them. You are pacing that person’s experience, and although they may be unaware of your mirroring, it will still have a profound effect.

Mirroring done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Otherwise, mirroring becomes mimicry and has negative consequences. So as you learn the following additional rapport skills, remember the powerful effect you create must be based on honourable values and principles.

MATCHING

One basic difference between mirroring and matching is timing. While mirroring is simultaneous with the other person’s movements, matching can sometimes have a ‘time delay’ factor to it. For example, if someone is gesturing while talking and making a point, you can be still and attending. When it is your turn to speak, you can make your comments and your point using the same, or similar gestures.

There are other types of matching:
CROSS-OVER MATCHING is choosing to match one of your behaviours to a corresponding, but different movement of another.

For example, if a person is blinking rapidly, you may cross-over match by discreetly tapping your finger at the same rate as they are blinking; or pace the rhythm of someone’s speaking with slight nods of your head or your breathing.

MISMATCHING is also a useful skill to master. Have you ever had someone go on and on and on when having a conversation with them…when you wonder if they will ever stop talking?

You can break eye contact, turn your body at an angle to them, breathe faster or slower in contrast to their breathing…in short, do anything to break rapport by mismatching. You will be surprised how quickly and easily the conversation will draw to a close.
You will find you hear and observe other people in more detail as you learn these basic rapport skills. Paying attention to others in this way is a process of building trust, and the more elegantly you mirror, match and cross-over match, the more your customers will turn into “raving fans.”

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

When speaking to family members or business colleagues, find a specific behaviour or movement to focus on and match or cross-over match. You might select one behaviour per day to practice until you can build a whole repertoire of rapport skills.

You might:
Use your hand movement to pace another persons breathing.
Move your foot to pace another person’s head movements.
Tilt your shoulders slightly as the other person tilts their head.
Lift a finger as the other person lifts an eye-brow.

And feel free to create your own cross-over matching techniques! Also remember to practice mismatching, but be sure to end the interaction in a state of rapport.

COMPULSIVE MATCHING AND MIRRORING

Some people feel they just have to match and mirror.

A young woman who matched and mirrored constantly was sitting across from a colleague who was tired of being mimicked. The colleague slid down in his chair, and of course she did the same. Then the colleague slid down even farther. She did the same. Finally, one slide too many, and the woman literally fell on the floor! Her colleague, conscious of his mirroring, remained in his chair.

RAPPORT

Notice the difference these rapport skills will have in your life. Whether the context is flirting, interviewing, selling, or being granted an audience with a princess, you can make the choice to improve your communication skills using NLP. Next month we introduce you to “I See, Hear and Feel What You Mean: Representational Systems.”

Penny Tompkins and James Lawley
can be contacted through:

The Developing Company
E-mail: metaphor@cleanlanguage.co.uk

Adam is a former school geek who was voted by his classmates as “least likely to get a girlfriend” when he was 15 has been officially ranked the Number 1 pick up artist in America!

Adam Lyons was given the award at the official World Pick Up Summit in Hollywood, California at the end of last year. The summit is held every year and brings together the world’s best dating coaches and pick up artists from across the globe. Adam even beat Mystery, the formerly ranked number one pick up artist, whose exploits were chronicled in the 2005 New York Times bestseller The Game.

At the peak of Adam’s playboy lifestyle he was a renowned club promoter bringing 80-100 girls to clubs each week and having 14 simultaneous relationships with models, actresses and other beautiful women. Adam married his girlfriend, a strong Christian who goes to church every week, in August 2009 after deciding his lifestyle was no longer making him happy. Honestly, not sure what to make any sense out of his decision.

According to the Web site, last year’s summit theme was “TRANSITIONING TO SEX!,” and everyone was really excited about it because of its close proximity to shopping

Just wanted to give you a quick update and tell you about how i got on at the weekend. I try and do 3 nights of game a week and one solid day game session. I love day game just as much as night game. What i love about day game is the fact that women are not expecting to be approached for that purpose on the street, this factor also makes it easier to get results in day game. When a women goes out at night she is expecting to get approached.

I meet up with different guys all the time who also have an interest in day game. This weekend  I met up with a guy called peter. He is a mature guy in his 50′s who has also attended an Adam boot camp. He is a cool laid back guy with pretty good game. I have been out with him in the past so I knew before we met how good he was. We where out for about four hours and by the end of it I had sore feet, lol. In future I am gunna wear trainers in day game sessions. We weren’t approaching as much as I would usually like to but,  hey. Out of my closes i want to talk about two of them.

If you have read the game or listen to lot of puas you will be under the impression that you should never go direct. Wrong. I had never gone direct before until i saw a wicked video afc Adam done on direct game. When i do day game i always mix it up with going direct and indirect. Going indirect is a safer way to get the the close but if you do direct correctly you can also close this way too.  You have to check Adams video out on youtube it is awesome. I use direct mainly if i have just received an IOI (indication of interest) . Here is what happened.

We where walking down bond street and i saw a cute blond. hb7 or maybe 8. She was looking in the window of a underwear shop.  I turned, smiled and approached.

Me:” Hey I am sorry to bother you but i was just passing and you caught my eye. I must be quick as I’m meeting a friend for coffee. You have a really stylish look and i would be kicking myself if I didn’t  come over and say hi.”

She blushes a little and smiles.

Me: “hi, my name is Darren”

hb7: smiles all over. “my name is Karen”

Smiles from us both and we shake hands

Me: “I must shoot as my friend will be waiting.”  I pull my phone out and pass it to her and say. “Whats the best way to keep in contact”

She smiles, takes my phone and types her number in. We talked a little about her jeans, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and we parted. I told her i would txt her early this week.

When going direct I use pretty much the same opener. The things I concentrate on are big smiles, solid body language, and clear words. I try to start every set with a little gentle touch to the arm. You all really should try going direct it is so much fun. It really gets the heart going  at the beginning.

The next number close i want to talk about is an opener i always use on girls who work in shops. It always gets results. The opener always starts with asking their advice,the thing is it is there job to help you. Then you have to transition away from the advise you are initially talking about and start building comfort.  At the end of the conversation  I all ways come back to the initial question to get the close. I am going to tell you another one of my closes from Saturday. She had dark hair and worked on the perfume stall in boots.  She caught my eye as i walked in, she was a hb 8. On my way out I approached.

Me: “Hey, I wonder if you can help me. Its my sister next week and I’m struggling.”

She looked at me and smiled

Hb8: “what perfume dose she use at the moment.”

Me: “I dunno I’m to proud to ask. What would you want your brother to get you?”

Hb8: “I am an only child. Try and make it personal it would just be nice that you chose her perfume”

Me: “More presents for you at Christmas from mum and dad then. Wahoo. I love Christmas it  went to quick this year.”

From there we where chatting  about all sorts. I always try and transition as quick as possible. She was serving people and asking me to wait there and kept coming back to me. I all ways finish with.

me: “hey we ain’t getting no where with this may be you could give me a hand with this. There would be a coffee in it for you.”

She took my Phone smiled and gave me her number.  I text her today saying you never guess what after all that struggling she has gone out and got it her self and wants me to pay her back, I still o you coffee though hows next Saturday. She replied and we are gunna meet one lunch time this week.

All in all it wasn’t a bad day. I had fun and got some closes so I am happy. I should of approached more though. I like to try and learn from everything I do so every negative there is a positive. Speak soon.

As Adam Lyons points out in his article Are environmentalists mental?, “doom-mongering predictions about the end of the world are nothing new.” Funnily enough, “nothing new” is also a rather appropriate description of the ‘crazed environmentalist’ straw man (mortal enemy of progress, innovation, and central heating) that he does such an impressive job of knocking down in his 800 rather ill-substantiated words.

What Adam seems to be saying, in his sardonic way, is that although by some staggering coincidence, environmentalists are right in their diagnosis of the climate change problem, we still shouldn’t listen to them because, well, they’re insane aren’t they? Case closed. (Incidentally, it’s a sad day for humanity when caring about something enough to shout about it from time to time qualifies one to be labelled insane?)

Adam’s conclusion, you might think, is rather tenuous, and certainly in need of some strong examples to support it. But alas, his argument floats free on the winds of his bitter imagination, with not a single fact tethering it to the ground of reality.

Since he doesn’t see fit to elaborate on his point that environmentalists are “dictating policy” (an assertion that stands in stark contrast to the government’s undying devotion to its airport expansion and road-widening programmes), it’s hard to know exactly which environmentalists, and what policy he is talking about. I would also be interested to know who he thinks is blaming “innovation” for climate change. Even one example of this would have been a start, but seemingly that was just too much to ask.

That said, Adam is (kind of) right about one thing. We certainly shouldn’t let somebody have to power to solve a problem just “because they shout the loudest about it, or because they care the most.” However, if we play a quick game of ‘spot the hidden assumption’ with this argument, we see him sneaking in two rather dubious ideas. The first is that caring about an issue and having the competence to solve it are mutually exclusive qualities. The second is that environmentalists do nothing but shout and moralise all day.

Quite how he reached these conclusions isn’t clear, although I’d hazard a guess that lazy prejudice had a bit to do with it. If environmentalists (oh, the joy of slapping reductive labels on large and internally homogenous groups for rhetorical effect) are given more influence in this debate, it will be because our solutions (and we have plenty) make sense, not because those in power suddenly decide that they like people who shout.

In an attempt to practice what I preach, I’m going bring in an example of my own, just to illustrate how far Adam’s rhetoric strays from any actual state of affairs that I’m familiar with. Ladies and Gentlemen, Exhibit A: Guardian columnist George Monbiot, surely the most radical environmentalist that commands anything approaching mainstream recognition in this country. Find me someone with any modicum of influence who isn’t significantly to the right of Monbiot and I’ll be very impressed. If Adam is to be believed, we should find him proposing solutions devoid of any practical, technical or innovative dimension. A return to a pre-industrial economy, perhaps. Or maybe the compulsory wearing of hair shirts on Tuesdays. But funnily enough, the last time I checked, Monbiot was proposing a European renewable energy ‘super grid’, drawing power from offshore wind turbines, huge solar arrays in the Sahara and Mediterranean, and geothermal sources in Iceland and transmitting the electricity through high voltage DC cables. That, as the old adage goes, is what happens when a beautiful theory meets a brutal gang of facts.

Make no mistake, the environmental movement does attract its share of “doomsayers”, but in my experience they have neither influence nor majority on their side. To claim, implicitly or otherwise, that these people are a) representative of environmentalists at large and b) holding any significant sway in this debate is disingenuous at best. Such straw-mannery isn’t a productive way to have “sensible arguments about science” or anything else for that matter.

I’m glad Adam agrees that climate change is a big problem. I also know that we won’t solve it by marching and moralising alone (although to pretend that there is no ethical dimension to this issue is to deny that our choices have the potential to damage the lives and livelihoods of others.) What confuses me is why he thinks that publishing lazy, facile diatribes based on absurd stereotypes, against people whose existence he can’t even be bothered to prove, constitutes a more constructive approach. Apparently Adam Lyons’ passion for innovation hasn’t yet compelled him to do any of his own.

However, in the name of cooperation and good-will, I’m going to propose that instead of spending the rest of term trading witty ripostes in the Badger, we start a more productive debate on the various climate change mitigation proposals currently on the table. This issue is far too important for partisan sniping to get in the way. So let’s hear it Adam (and anyone else who wants to get involved.) This generation is probably the last that can take any meaningful action to stop climate change. What the hell are we going to do about it?