A man suffering an apparent heart attack died in a Philadelphia emergency room after waiting nearly 80 minutes for help _ and a trio of homeless drug addicts nearby stole his watch instead of seeking aid.

On the news last night, they did a human interest story regarding a lowcountry football coach who needs emergency gastric bypass surgery or he will face untimely death. It’s a tragic story of a man whose had family members killed among other catastrophic events and in turn, he has internalized his pain, becoming an emotional eater. Topping out currently at 650 pounds at only 32 years old, this man has been admitted to the hospital three times in the last year due to complications brought on by his morbid obesity.

He doesn’t smoke or drink, but recognizes that he has put every last bite of food into his mouth; his drug of choice being food, and lots of it. Without the surgery, just like those faced with other addictions, his organs will have worked too hard for too long and his body is sure to give out sooner rather than later. His players are brokenhearted, saying that they couldn’t be who they are today without the coaching and encouragement from their coach. People in his community have started a fundraising driven to help raise the $40,000 for the surgery and post-operation treatment to save their beloved coach’s life. In the end, gastric bypass surgery is considered a cosmetic procedure and is not covered by his insurance. The rallying of the community in which he lives is truly inspirational and should give him the support to make it through what can be a very traumatic time, but this story has me asking a lot of questions as well.

Should we finance someone’s irresponsibility? In times like these, a lot of us can’t even pay our car notes or go to the doctor ourselves. Almost 10% of Americans are unemployed and downsizing happens everyday to undeserving, tenured, hard-working people. Now we are being asked to give the little money we can earn to pay for a surgery that is necessary to someone’s lack of self-control?

Terrible events happen in everyone’s lives. People are abused, robbed, laid off, cheated on, divorced and dealt a bad hand somewhere everyday – and this is not to downplay or invalidate those experiences. But at some point, for oneself and for the ones they love, the addict has to take accountability for their own actions and attitudes and take the proactive steps to change their lives. Of course, cosmetic, weight-loss surgery isn’t covered by the average person’s insurance. But EAP counseling is, usually for free. Support groups can be found all over the internet and through local family services departments. With a co-pay, you can even visit the local Urgent Care to be treated for the depression and anxiety so often associated with overeating.

I haven’t seen a news story yet to finance the lung or liver transplant of a life-long smoker or an alcoholic. There is no money coming out of my pocket to supply methadone to local cocaine addicts. Is overeating the same as drinking too much? Often times, they are done for similar reasons and result in health problems and self-value issues affecting more than just the person choosing to eat or drink. In this case, I feel overeaters want to be considered “addicts” just as others saddled with addictions and if offered similar resources for healing, the casual civilian shouldn’t finance their recovery either. I don’t get paid for working out, driving sober or refraining from hard drug use.

In fact, people who choose to make these decisions actually cost me MORE when I do get sick, in inflated doctor’s costs and insurance rates. Is that fair?

Does this really help? At the end of the day, Coach will come out of this surgery with a drastically minimized stomach and intestine, but not the perseverance and lessons of working hard through diet and exercise to keep the weight off.  It has been proven time and time again that no magic pill, no vibrating belt and no surgery is the end-all to weight gain. Conscious, long-term lifestyle decisions regarding diet and exercise are the only way to lose weight and keep it off.

What’s at the bottom of this? The issue here lies within the person to be self-aware enough to notice the signs before they spiral too far out of control. I have known several people, family and friends, who have let their weight take over their lives; as a coping mechanism, in resentment towards a loved one or due to a lack of self-worth. It has broken my heart hearing their stories of rejection and pain, and has hurt even worse when they have closed themselves off due to this. This is why I have offered to be a gym buddy, I have encouraged emailing back and forth each day with tips and motivation and I have supported friends to ask the hard questions as to why food has been their comfort for too long.

Certainly with so much love and support in his community being shown now, this coach could have found someone to listen to his story and help him before he reached 650 pounds….right? Where were these people at 400 pounds? 500?

On one hand, there is so much pressure to perform professionally, be accessible emotionally, to give selflessly, to love boundlessly, to worship faithfully…with very little reward anymore. It can wear on the human psyche when friends are laid off regardless of tenure, when the divorce rate is at 50% and even supermodels are getting cheated on. Pot-headed, gun-toting professional athletes get paid millions of dollars to play a kid’s game every weekend and I’m busting my ass to keep my electricity on with a Magna Cum Laude college degree? If these notions are left to perpetuate, how does anyone stay motivated?

On the other hand, there is a mounting group of people who feel entitled to the American dream without having to work at it. There are people who ignore immigration laws to live here without the proper due diligence of simply filling out paperwork. There are people who cheat the system by purposefully not marrying their baby-daddies to get more welfare money to support their crack habits.  And in an increasingly more serious way (out of sheer prevalence), there are millions of people who expect their well-being and living to be handed to them, offering up excuses as to why they can’t pull on their own bootstraps when it comes to their livelihood, health and emotional stability.

In the middle are the majority of us; working hard for our living and somewhat healthily coping with your day-to-day hardships. The American dream is just that – a dream. We’re doing what we can with the reality we’re given. Everyone is allowed some time for self-pity, for a good cry and a pass through the Wendy’s drive-thru for a large Frosty on an especially tough day. It is healthy to mourn and be frustrated and angry at the hand one has been dealt because life can feel truly unfair. Sometimes there is a legitimate reason that one cannot rise above their current situation right away. While there is a responsibility for friends and family to offer support in hard times, the responsibility lies in oneself to objectively acknowledge that nothing is forever.

Through unemployment, the loss of a loved one, and even obesity, steps can be made to lift yourself above the wreckage. It is necessary that you find lessons in your mistakes and reverently memorialize the past instead of replaying all of your failures and living in the past like Miss Havisham, in dust-covered, rotting misery of “what could have been”. You’re still here! Life is short and you are the only person who wakes up as you everyday; the only person who can mold your brain and how you see your station in life – and it can be a lonely place if you are the friend who is letting yourself down by not taking care of yourself professionally, spiritually and emotionally…and physically.

Letting those unfair events, tragic surprises, stresses and excuses pile up and you can lose yourself under the pile of rubble…and sickness in some cases.

Where have you fallen short in being a good friend to yourself? Are you not as healthy as you could be? Are you taking the steps to be the person/employee/significant other that you want to be? If you aren’t, as dramatic as it sounds, it could result in death.  Ask the coach who reached 650 pounds after trauma, depression, anxiety and excuses left him quite literally paralyzed in more ways than one.

I have to admit that I’m a typical bag addict…well, first of all, how can we define a bag addict? I have no formal explanation for this term but just my own experience to share:

1. when I see a beautiful leather bag lying in front of me, my mouth turns dry and my heartbeat is doubled

2. even though I’m too well aware that I will be completely broke (or already broke) if I buy another one, there is still a message in my head: COME AND TAKE ME HOME!!

3. even though I know so well that if I ever touch this bag, I will completely go insane and can’t resist but buy it…with a satisfied smile on my face

4. whenever I see a nice bag, no matter how hard I try, 90% of chance I will buy it (or even worse, more than 1… sigh…)

If anyone thinks that I’m still not a bag addict, please tell me and make me feel better of myself

However, the more I shop, the more I realize that I don’t know about bags at all. Why? Because sometimes, I can’t even tell whether it’s leather or just PU/PVC…I’m simply blinded by the brands/trends/celebrities/models/adverts etc etc…

If I can’t control myself not to be a bag addict, at least I need to be a smart one.

Please join my group to share…for no other reason but to be a smart and proud bag addict!!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=213293019923&ref=nf

Okay last night was a lot of fun watching all of the twilight addicts go crazy at the premiere. I waited like 7 or 8 hours in like and then fell asleep in the movie..whoops.

I guess i’ll go see it again when I’m actually awake and see if I actually like it.

A teachers’ leader says girls are becoming addicted to social networking sites…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: science. For a different topic see crowd level. The blog is also related to: finance.

No mysterious ingredient. The Cadbury’s secret is out. Chocolate is drug-like in its effect. Sugar’s chemical structure is more than ironically similar to Cocaine’s chemical structure. Artificial taste explodes in the mouth with crunchy, smooth, sweet flavors, supplying intense pleasure, creating dozens of different neuro-chemical reactions in different parts of the brain. Every texture and nuance of taste contrived to stimulate your 9,000 taste buds into sending pleasure signals to the brain. The intensified pleasure effect is addictive. We don’t care about the additives or empty calories. Chocolate junkies, for example, crave a fix, driven by the desire for that chocolate pleasure. Pleasure for which we will pay any price, even our health.

Chocolate bars are loaded with salt, sugar, caffeine and fat, up to 300 calories per bar. Like a body demanding heroin for its balance, the body will crave sugar, salt and fat. Take candy from a sugar junkie, and look out! Quitting causes withdrawals. Remove sugar, processed fat or salt from your diet, and you will crave them. You will go through the discomfort of facing withdrawal similar to the withdrawal from drugs. Ever do the master cleanse? If you want to experience a truth bigger than you could ever see, do the master cleanse for 6 days, and you will never look at things the same again. Not even yourself or your own personality.

Strawberries and bananas don’t cause cravings. You never feel guilty about eating too many cantaloupes. You never hear little voices in the back of your head saying eat, eat, eat cantaloupe. No, because natural foods balance the body and physical cravings are caused by biochemical imbalance. Natural, raw foods do not effect the brain like cooked, or artificial foods do. Street drugs, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, salt, saturated fat, refined starch and refined sugars cause cravings because they imbalance the body’s chemistry  — they even change the psychophysiological development of the brain. The exact same thing that all drugs do.

Addictive substances cause the body to become dependent on an unnatural substance for homeostatic balance. Removing it will cause withdrawals. During withdrawal, the addict suffers through the painful readjustment as the body cries out for the missing substance. In a desperate attempt to maintain homeostasis, (chemical balance) the body demands the very substance that caused the imbalance.

The body’s homeostatic balance is affected by diet. Consumption of massive amounts of sugar, salt, caffeine or fried foods drastically affects homeostatic balance. Natural hunger becomes distorted as the body craves for the substances necessary for balance. The body reacts as it would to any addiction. Powerful cravings override the body’s natural needs.

Cooked food weakens your immune system.  Many believe that cooking is needed for food to get rid of bacteria and make it more digestible.  True, there are a few vegetables that are more difficult for some to digest raw, such as those in the cruciferous family (broccoli), but most foods do not become more digestible once cooked.

In 1930, Dr Paul Kouchakoff observed that after eating a meal, a person`s white blood cells (leukocytes) would increase (famous discovery).  An increase in white blood cell count usually indicates a stress reaction by the body.  Eating a raw meal does not have this same effect on the body.  He also observed that most foods that have been altered produce this immune suppressing effect.  Your immune system is basically finishing your digestion process for you, which is a function that it is not meant to do.

You can minimize this effect quite easily.  If you have anything cooked on your plate, you should have fresh, raw vegetables to go with it.  As well, chewing your food thoroughly will lessen the immune response of the cooked food.

The best practice is to eliminate as much processed, altered, and cooked food from your diet as you can.  That includes milk, as it is pasteurized and homogenized.  That also means removing sugar and white flour from your diet.

Getting used to eating most meals with a big salad, or some cut vegetables will save your immune system a lot of harm.  After years of only ingesting cooked foods for every meal – you can imagine the toll this has unknowingly put on your immune system.  If you at least include raw vegetables with your cooked meals, you are giving your immune system a break.  It has other effects, like keeping you healthy!!  Cooking also can take away the antioxidants, and reduce the amount of bioavailable vitamins.  So you are doubling your benefits when you eat raw.

Food allergies can also cause an addiction-like dependence due to homeostatic disturbance. Your favorite foods are usually the ones to which you are addicted. You usually feel better immediately after eating the food that you are addicted to, but shortly afterward the allergic reaction produces a feeling of irritability. It causes flatulence, nausea, depression or headaches. Milk, wheat and eggs are the most common allergic foods. Each contains large protein molecules with strong glue-like bonds. If the appropriate enzyme necessary for digestion is not available, these protein molecules enter the blood undigested. The immune system attacks these fragments as if they were invaders. Homeostasis has been imbalanced, and if these foods are continually eaten, the body will need them for homeostatic balance, causing an allergen-based food addiction.

The brain has 100 billion neurons and 100 trillion connectors for memory alone. Each brain cell is dependent on homeostatic balance to function properly. High doses of sugar, salt, fat and caffeine can cause imbalances in the brain’s normal chemistry. Eating natural foods allows the brain’s chemistry to function normally. Natural foods assist homeostasis, supplying vitamins, minerals, soft fibers, cell salts and enzymes to assist the body in maintaining balance. In a balanced state, hunger is in relation to the body’s need for nutrition.

Eating processed food creates cravings for more processed foods. Eat fried foods, and you crave more. Eat cooked food, and you crave it. Eat sugar-filled food, and you will crave it. The Hostess Munchies are nothing more than disguised cravings for salt and fat. They promise satisfaction, but artificial pleasure never satisfies. It is a pleasure that takes by first giving. It steals valuable nutrition from your diet by feeding your body empty calories.

Addiction in the Brain
Scientists are discovering that psychological addiction has a common factor. All mood-altering drugs elevate levels of the neurotransmitter in the brain, called dopamine. Tobacco, cocaine, heroin and caffeine elevate dopamine levels and cause a feeling of euphoria. Dopamine may be the master molecule of addiction.

Neurotransmitters, such as dopamine, control how the brain works and what we feel. When you feel pleasure from eating or falling in love, receiving a compliment, it is dopamine that causes the feeling. Every experience that humans find enjoyable may be linked to dopamine whether that be listening to music, savoring chocolate, sex or shooting heroin.

Fifty neurotransmitters have been discovered to date. A good half dozen are associated with addiction by causing a feeling of euphoria. Serotonin is another interesting neurotransmitter. It has a sedating effect. This neurotransmitter can be affected by rhythm, such as stroking the hair, slow deep breathing or a rocking motion. It is possible that the desire for the serotonin effect enforces repetitive habits such as nail biting, playing with hair or nose picking. There is a repetition and a rhythm to these habits. It may be an unhealthy attempt at trying to gain comfort from the serotonin effect. Starches have been known to have a calming effect on the brain due to increased levels of serotonin. We are using junk-food, starch, drugs, and bad habits to adjust our feelings through stimulating our neurotransmitters.

The pleasure effect of neurotransmitters is designed by Nature to form healthy, natural dependencies. A wholesome pleasure that motivates us to find good tasting food, comfortable shelter and loving relationships. Dopamine and serotonin reinforce healthy actions and behaviors.

Dopamine has a powerful ability to form triggers. During pleasure, neurological pathways are being formed that will trigger a physical and emotional reaction to repeat that pleasure. We know it as an urge. We feel impelled. Our minds can become fixed on pleasure until we think of nothing else.

Intense pleasure forms the most powerful triggers. For this reason, sex, drugs and food create the most powerful urges. A syringe, rolling papers, an X-rated video, McDonalds, anything that is associated with the pleasure, becomes a trigger for these powerful urges. Compelled by an urge, we feel pulled toward pleasure like steel to a magnet. The emotions overdrive and our body quivers with adrenaline. An addict may shake and sweat with the anticipation of pleasure. A tennis player may also experience the same reaction before a championship. The body and mind are being prepared for action.

Urges are powerful at motivating us towards good or evil. We can feel the urge to pray, the urge to be kind, the urge to create or build, or we can feel the urge to destroy. Yet, even the most powerful urge cannot negate our responsibility. We can never blame an urge for the action we have formed, built and accepted. We have given it power from the thoughts that we allowed to form.

Stolen Rewards
Drugs hijack the natural reward system of humans. Smoking a joint feels like the relaxation similar to two hours in the gym. Heroin gives a pleasure similar to “runners high,” the euphoric state experienced during long distance running. But, like all mood-altering drugs, the pleasure is stolen. It has not been gained honestly through effort, achievement or challenge.

Processed food hijacks the taste buds, stealing pleasure without giving nutrition. In nature, foods that taste good are good for us. Sweetness is an indicator of calories. Saltiness is an indicator of mineral content. A bittersweet taste, like lemon, is a sign of cleansing acids and vitamins. We like food with fats and oils because they supply calories and essential fatty acids. Natural oils and fats are high in calories and fat-soluble vitamins. Healthy food has a wholesome taste, a pleasure intended to reinforce healthy behavior.

I have no fucking idea, really, and perhaps it doesn’t matter save that it’s at ground zero and the playing field is as level as whichever way someone tips the gyroscope.

a friend was up to 1 in the morning helping staff cleanse his room because a new guy came in and despite the sanitation protocol, managed to bring in bed bugs.  then he was up at his usual 5am only to get to work and find there was none that day.  he was fricking tired but they lock the hall doors when breakfast is on so he couldn’t have a nap.

i was an idiot and lent my van to some jerk on the premise of earning $100 as he was moving stuff for a friend.   the 6pm deadline went by and i hunkered down around 11 not feeling worried about the van..intuition told me it was ok.   the keys were handed to me the next morning and i was pissed off and had every reason to be.  so the jerk says to me, ‘we will talk about this when we finish our cigarettes’.  i said , ‘wait, you think you’re calling the shots on when we talk?  wHAT kind of fucking asshole are you anyways, thinking you can actually  boss me around, you patriarchal son of a bitch?’.  he starts swearing and i’m not even going to give him a second of my time because who wants to waste even a second on an extreme jerk?  he was trying to plead what a hard time he had as he got ripped off by the people he moved and blah blah blah blah blah, thinking i’m actually supposed to feel sorry for him.

but he’s a pretty boy and smooth talker and i know he’s lying , just cuz he is…things don’t add up, time lines etc…..so i just say, ’shut up and keep the fuck away from me’ and turn and talk to friends.  the guys are all wound up and hating the jerk and they all want a piece of him.  i’m fine with things, i was dumb to have lent my van, lesson learned, case dropped.

one of the workers comes up to me and starts lecturing me and telling me to go easy on the guy.  i tell the worker i’ve let things go and moved on.  the worker says, ‘ok, i advise you to let things go’.   patriarchal asshole syndrome is rampant.

jerk goes and tells the front desk that so and so broke into the lockers downstairs but it was really jerk that did it so a buddy cuffed him a good one and buddy  becomes a hero that day.  the other boys are being patient and waiting to drop the jerk good.  i can’t wait. jerk had taken my van and went downtown eastside to PROVE to everyone that he’s actually a ‘bad guy’ cause he talks all the time like he’s taken uber life skill courses and paid his penance and thinks he’s everyone’s councillor and friend only no one thinks that of jerk.  jerk now just sits quietly in the corner which is what he should have done in the very beginning instead of making a dirty splash and forming alliances.  he’s done himself in.

i escaped from alcatraz today and am at a coffee joint with internet and am sipping a hot chocolate.

Recovery Universe is going on it’s 5 year of serving online recovery to suffering alcoholics and addicts worldwide.

The idea for Recovery Universe was born in a treatment facility in Atlanta, Georgia. I spent 110 days there and got really close with a few people there that I wanted to keep in touch with after treatment. I was a application developer and did not know too much web programming at the time but I made the commitment to setting up a video chat room that my friends and I could use to keep in touch after we all got home. Ironically this never ended up happening but something even more exciting transpired. In February of 2004 Recovery Universe launched still with the intention of only being for a few friends. By the late summer of 2004 RU had over 500 members and the forums and chat rooms were growing fast.

In 2005 RU underwent its 1st real transformation since the inception. This is the version that adapted the popular logo that has been used since. The colors of the site have always reamained the same (blue and tan) but the site has undergone 4 major overhauls. 

By 2006 the site was running strong and I was getting emails daily thanking me for providing a safe and clean place for people to share their experience, strength, and hope online. This reinforced in me the reasons I started the site to begin with and made me more active than ever in the site itself. 

By 2008 things had been up and down. Good times and bad times and I had all but stepped out of using it as a tool for myself and more just hid behind the scenes and worked on improving the site. 2008 was a rough year for me and I had stepped away completely as I got a new job and supported my wife while she began going to alanon. I needed the time to work on myself and get things right in my life. The computer was just simply taking too much of my time. 

2009 is now here and my life has seemed to settle somewhat. I am getting a good balance going in my life and have returned to RU with newly aquired web programming skills and a strong desire to use Recovery Universe as an outlet for my programming hobby. What you see now is a compilation of 5 years of hard work and dedication to Recovery Universe. It is a safe clean enviroment for people to share. The people I have met and memories I have from this website are priceless. I hope to be alot more involved in the site in the future and will do my best to make sure that the doors of Recovery Universe stay open for the newcomer.

So please enjoy yourself and come share your experience, strength, and hope with us…

Yours in Recovery,

 J.J.D.

VISIT and JOIN Recovery Universe

Amid a number of other efforts in the healthcare world to combat the abuse of drugs, the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has launched new teaching tools for medical students and residents. The intent here is to make up for deficits in the current curriculum for medical students surrounding the diagnosis and treatment of substance abuse. Right now, the subject of drug abuse is not taught to all medical students, and the amount of time dedicated to the matter varies widely across schools.

The tools that NIDA has released include lectures, case studies, faculty workshop, and a web tool for assisting in teaching drug abuse curricula. Also, similar material may be incorporated into continuing medical education courses in the future. NIDA hopes that doctors will be able to screen patients for drug abuse in the same manner patients are screened for other diseases today. It’s important that doctors are able to spot and diagnose drug abuse related issues, especially when dealing with prescribing opioid drugs. Making it a part of their education is the best way to ensure that future generations of doctors have the training necessary to detect and treat patients that are abusing drugs.

Read more about this in the NIDA press release and in the Wall St. Journal.

China’s internet boot camps should not use physical punishment to treat web addicts, the ministry of health says…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: china travel. The blog is also related to: china east.

I began to feel that I was living in a strange world, one in which to place a truce before one’s nose can neither be said out loud nor anyway knowledge. It therefore seemed to partake of the atmosphere of Do. Everyday I saw addicts and user prescription drugs from the clinics that were set up to help them, we sold them to third parties or who continue to take heroin, and every other illicit drug they can get hold of, in spite of in an addiction to those prescription drugs: addicts who, despite their so-called treatment continue to commit crimes, addicts who are only contemptuous of all attempts to help them, and who lied to and manipulated their suppose helpers in a shameless and unmistakable fashion, addicts who had, without it. Any assistance whatsoever and without difficulties of your there have it completely, addicts use a stored next word obviously never surely dishonest, and above all, observe close up and stability of withdrawal symptoms from opiates. Yet none of my observations seem to count for anything. It was almost impolite, and increasingly impolitic to mention them to my colleagues who dealt with drug addict, although they must have observed the same thing themselves even more often. I felt increasingly not like a doctor whose clinical experience might be valuable, the starting Porter reflection and debate, but like a heretical who had better keep his beliefs themselves for fear of drawing the institutional rafts of orthodoxy down on himself and making himself the object of an inquisition area. I had not been fortunate enough to work with three eminent and highly competent physicians in the hospital who observe precisely what I observed, in a draw the same conclusion, I think I might have broken down, for every political protagonists knows, there is nothing more to shut the of the human psyche than to be forced to doubt the veracity of one’s own elementary observations demonstrate, simply because they conflict with the prevailing in assailable orthodoxy. In such circumstances, one is forced to choose between considering oneself polluted, war world is mad: one is either saying in an insane world, or insane in a sane world. Neither alternative is entirely satisfactory.

I decided to give form to my growing distant from orthodoxy that have become the doctrine not this of the medical profession, but of the government. And insofar as it had opinion on that matter, the population itself. How unwise doubtful propositions, no manifest the truth become so widely almost universally, accepted, especially in an age to pride itself on skepticism and unwillingness to take everything on drugs? Why were the most elementary truths disregarded entirely, and no conclusion, whatever drawn from them?

A grant, of course, that opiate addiction is by no means the largest rivers problem faced by society, but it at some point spread will cause and cease, and it will never cease hold more than a traction of the population. It might even receive somewhat. But if our society cannot even think clearly, honestly, and courageously, without deception or self deception, about a minor social problem, what hope is there that it will come from large problems. Clearly, honestly, courageously push Mark opiate addiction seeks to expose the willing. Full misconceptions, the lies in evasions, the past 200 years with regard to opiate addiction,. This, then, is a case study: it is warning of what happens when untruth prevails is also my personal exorcism of catharsis, after living for so many years in an atmosphere of laws half-truths and unmentionable facts about something that was essentially as plain as a hand for my face. The history discovered truth is important, but the history of perpetuation of errors shows as attractive in its own way

To addicts came in the prisons starving and miserable, and went out healthy and happy. Within a few months, however, many of them were back for the former condition, not a few of them begged the courts, brought once before them, to imprison them rather than let them go free. A strange world indeed, in which incarceration is preferable to freedom!

When, soon after the arrival in prison, I asked the addicts, whether they intended to give up taken heroin, some of them would apply all have to have gotten a choice. I would then ask them why this was, to which they replied, because I’ve just had a baby monitor for what may see it unless I do. In fact, this really lead to prolonged abstinence, largely because the girlfriend in question soon found another boyfriend who objected to her continued contact with the father of her child. Most of the addicts emerge from a social world in which relationship between errands, between parents and the children, between children and their stepparents, between siblings and half siblings, between boyfriend and girlfriend, between friends, between neighbors, were unstable and often violent, were were not any of the parties was a drug addict.

Nevertheless, the answer given by the addicts that the birth of their baby meant that they would have to give up taking opiates was a strange one of the truly thought that they were ill and in need of treatment. They clearly believe that a purpose in life was a sufficient condition to enable themselves abstain. This is not how the money is feared. No one would say, unless I’m having the bony neck pains every time I breathe deeply, because I have to just had a baby. The addict himself, sometimes not always by any means, for a reason that I shall explain later acknowledged that their condition was a spiritual one, using the term spirituality in a loose sense, rather than a medical one.

As soon as cover that medical services set up to assist addicts took a technocratic attitude towards them and their problem. They focus on the psychological aspects of the opiate addiction, since these words, susceptible, at least in theory, to medical intervention, which in practice meant description of a drug rather like the one the addicts were addicted to. And there was a strenuous, almost outrage, rejection in the idea that addiction was, at bottom, a moral problem, or even that it raise any more questions at all. The addict was abusing purely and simply as an ill person in this meant that taken heroin was something that just happened people, rather than something that they did. In the process of turning the addict to blame the station, therefore, the doctors and nurses, psychologists, counselors, social workers also turned an addict is something less than eight fully responsible person, and to someone not in charge of his own behavior, a creature of automation effectively without choices, intentions, or even weaknesses. So uncertain of their own Bella lets words, these functionalities of care that they avoided all mention of the moral and spiritual aspects of addiction, since even to mention them as the psalm was a wristband perceived as a condemnatory and therefore Mel violent intent. And this whole little subculture, which nonetheless actors prevalent attitudes outside itself. Only those who approve of, or at least do not express disapproval of, other people’s behavior can consider themselves or be considered by others to be generous minded.

This is a space I created for recovering (or those trying) addicts to come to let out their feelings about addiction (this includes alcohol), discrimination within the medical community for being an addict, the stress on families living with the disease of addiction and their treatment of their family member addicts, as well as just a place to vent about the hell of addiction and what it does to one’s life,  a place to share stories of addiction, as well as for family and friends suffering as well from an addicted loved one.

And no, you cannot buy drugs online here;)

I relate. I really do. In my Safari browser, I type in “gm” and then it finishes it for me: gmail.com. It’s like it is reading my mind.

Sometimes when I am not doing much on the computer, I click on the Gmail bookmark or start typing it in without realizing it, even if I am already on my email page.

I think getting email is more exciting to me than Facebook messages. I like that I can be logged into chat, organize my messages, keep all my emails from different accounts in one place, and easily pull up a Google doc for work. When Gmail Themes came about, it probably worsened my email addiction after selecting the fox/oriental theme, cause then I had to keep logging in at different times of the day to see what the fox was up to.

Wait, why am I talking about Gmail? Oh, yeah, I forgot why I started talking about it in the first place. So a little while ago, I noticed Gmail “Labs”. I finally checked it out a little today (go into your Gmail account, click “Settings” in the upper right corner, and click on the “Labs” tab).

Gmail Labs is a testing grounds right within your email account to test out really cool features! Some are great utility-wise, other just plain fun.

Aaanyways, which brings me to this feature I enabled: Snake! Enable this lab feature, and whenever you’re on the main page in your account, just type “&”, and a game of Snake pops up on the screen!

Yeah, you know you'll wanna play this.

So, there, all you Gmail addicts. Here is just another useless time-killing bit of fun for you the next time you are hangin’ around in your Gmail.

So today I went ahead and got Ubertwitter so I could get/send Tweets on my phone.  I do like Twitter don’t get me wrong but something about it is quite stalker-ish. You can just follow anyone and the number of people following stalking celebrities  is quite a worrying indicator.

Anyway today Twitter went down for about a minute…

There was mass panic. Then mass relief. Anyway more importantly I Discovered something quite interesting scary today.  I found with Ubertwitter I could actually pinpoint people’s location to a  ridiculous degree. I could also scour the area for anyone else on Twitter. So I guess I was the stalker? But I’ll claim I was just curious…

Coming from Croydon (well, Thornton Heath) I didn’t really expect to find anyone else on Twitter. Boy was I wrong.There are loads of people. At about a 5mile radius I can sort of see different groups emerging.

Mixtape Crew

These guys are shamelessly promoting something. In most cases it is a mixtape or the fact that they’re putting beats out there. The things is some of these guys are really good at doing this! I’m not talking about making music because there’s so many I couldn’t possibly listen to all of it. I’m talking about their use of Twitter. This dude today managed to cram in 6 trends into one post.  Really impressive and some decent marketing skills! If you don’t know what a trend on twitter is check this out.

Also this is hilarious

Addicts

Some people are on Twitter first thing in the morning, updating every 5minutes and then eventually get to bed. That can’t be that healthy but then again if you are sitting around doing nothing all day I guess Twitter is tempting…Today I saw a tweet that said “Argh Iphones broken, had to find a computer, might have to talk to real people eek!”  Not the best advert for Twitter’s “social” credentials.

Affiliate Marketing

These guys are everywhere, have thousands of followers and tell me that I can make a hundred dollars a second by using Twitter! Might actually look into this a bit more before I cast judgement but for some reason think I’m probably right to be a little sceptical…

People like me…

I signed up to Twitter to share interesting stuff I find because I think sometimes maybe I find something worth sharing. I try to follow other people that have tweeted something I’m interested in and not celebrities telling me what they ate for breakfast. Theres nothing wrong with that, it’s just not me. Think I may have to start following Steven Fry though. He is a legend. Oh and Rainner Wilson (sp). But as someone I know said today, “as much as I like new media, there is just no substitute for being out there!”

So True.

P.S

Before I go have to mention the best use of Twitter I’ve seen yet – comes from Richie Hawtin. He’s got an app called Twitter DJ that updates his twitter as he DJ’s so at the end of the night you can find THAT TUUUUUUUUNE!!! Any DJ can get it and really should.

I just missed your sound.

Your scent noe evades me—

it lingers no more.

Your clothes not in my drawers.

Closet Empty.

Hangers Dangle.

Glass shattered where our photo once was….

My skin quivers like an addict.

I need a fix.

I need a touch.

I need a warm embrace.

I need….

…. lingering are your footsteps on the carpet.

Deluted are the concrete things in this place we share—-

–or shared or at least I thought we did…

Clear are the abstract things that we missed once before..

LOVE.

HOPE.

DREAMS.

H A P P I N E S S ….

suitcases by the door.

Not as much as I thought.

Though wishing it were I walking instead of this garbage.

My eyes take in YOUR SMILE.

My lips anticipate your LAST KISS.

My nose inhales the cologne I will NO LONGER SMELL.

… and My hands feel the FINAL TOUCH they will ever feel from you..

Forever to leave me in my solitude.

Out you walk.

The door slams.  (I’m awake)

There you lay head on my shoulder sleeping peacefully.

goodnight love….

It is because an addict has a little more trouble doing things that slow him down

to the extent that he cannot cope with the inadequacies that bequeath him.

He proceeds and thrusts himself to reach that plateau of success he had seen so

much of referred commonly as, “The Other Half.”

His actions are of desperate impulse as he fails to measure the consequences

of the end result.

With inner knowledge of emptiness and monetary gains as his immediate gratification,

it is his mirage and ultimate goal along with the mysteries of the drug world that consumes

him in jumbled thoughts.

A world he felt compelled to test. And without foreseeing the tragic ending, flunks the course

in norms and values.

A social reject he already was, the loss of respect is inevitable.

The respect he tried so hard to gain consumes him to the point of inner hostility.

Hatred, lashed out towards people of respectability.

For release of his inner hatred and hostility, he lavishes the drug

for the purpose of self indulgence.

Thoughts of relief from the pains of loneliness, in the company of other addicts,

each in his or her own world of despair.

His death is termed and “Overdose.”

In that an addict may feel alone in a private hell hole he created.

When he dies, it is not from the drug itself, but of sheer loneliness.

written by Joan Farley Nyobe

Adam Goldsteins documentary/ tv show for MTV premieres tonight. The show follows Adam as he enters young drug attics lives and attempt to help them beat their addiction.

The show has been on for about 45 minutes and I think I’ve cried more than 3 times. This young woman is 23 years old and had been a hard core heroine addict for 2 years. Adam, along with her family has staged an intervention to make her face her problem and want to change. It is bitter sweet to see him whole heartedly trying to help her get over her addiction. As it is known, drug addicts are never cured of their diseases. Once you stop using, it is a daily struggle against the temptations to begin using again.

As many people know, Adam died of an accidental overdose a few months ago, and this show should be a wake up call to many other addicts and recovering addicts. The struggle was always apparent to Adam, and even though he lost his battle, the show is here to help others.

Goldstein’s family said they pondered long and hard about whether to allow the series to air, but ultimately decided releasing the videos would do the most good.

“It is our hope through airing this show that people will get to see the side of Adam that we knew and loved, not just the celebrity DJ, but the honest and caring person who gave so much of himself to help others,” the family said in a satement earlier this month. “The decision to air the show has been difficult, but we do this with the profound belief that it will inspire others to seek help.”

(What to change)

What are the specific practical changes to New Zealand’s Drug laws I am advocating? Some of them are speculative, some would need to be capable of change and amendment as circumstances dictate, all of them need urgent consideration.

So on to the specifics:

Make all drugs legal to possess and use: ~ tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, AZP, opium/heroin, LSD, cocaine, amphetamines, all of them. Yes some are more problematic than others, but the principle cannot be compromised, they are either all legal or they are not. In any event, like I have said previously, the problem is not the object, it is the behaviour of people. The legality or not of any drug does nothing to change that.

The better ones will drive out the bad ones: ~ most people don’t use drugs (alcohol accepted) and of those that do, most would use the soft drugs from choice, from there into the more hardcore drugs it is a descending scale of use. If all drugs are freely and commercially available and in standardised, quality controlled doses, the vast majority of users will gravitate towards the “better” drugs. Meaning the ones that are less likely to mess you up. Why would you use a weird drug unless you were specifically into it for the weirdness. Yes there will be those types of users, there are already anyway, and yes there would be a fair amount of experimentation in the first instance, but over time drug use actually revolves around fashion, availability and price. You can’t do anything about fashion with legislation, so that’s by the by.  Availability I am advocating as freely available, so there is no supply constraint to push people onto different drugs. And price can be controlled in a legal market, so that the easiest and cheapest choice is the most benign and controllable option. That way you can manipulate the environment and human nature to scale the use of drugs in the direction you desire.

Make it legal to manufacture and sell: ~ Just like Tobacco and Alcohol currently, make the manufacture and sale of all drugs legal, but with the sorts of appropriate regulation that exist for the currently legal drugs. Only persons of good character can be involved commercially and it may only be sold through approved establishments. Another option is to require a license, something like a driving license in order to purchase certain classes of drugs. That way you automatically end up with a register of users and should know who your potential problems are likely to be. The manufacture and sale of drugs can be taxed and the proceeds of that channelled into drug abuse programs. On the other side of the coin, anyone involved in the manufacture and sale of drugs who is not authorised to do so can still be sanctioned severely under the law. That would be particularly necessary in respect of cross border commerce. We would not want to be the cause for any other country to complain about our enterprises violating other countries laws. Commercialisation of drugs within NZ would have to be a strictly domestic scenario, with the laws to back that up. That could well be difficult to enforce, true, but it is significantly easier due to our country being an island a long way from anywhere else.

Regulate the people commercially involved: ~  We already have many industries that require careful vetting and licensing to be commercial operators or professional practitioners. Regulating the commercialisation of the drug trade is no great stretch. A criminal conviction would be one obvious disqualification. But if we already have regulations for brothels, pharmaceuticals, alcohol and firearms, then recreational drugs pose no regulatory or management problems. As long as there is a buck in it, people will be interested in being in the business. This way you get to choose the people that are going to be involved.

Tax it quite heavily: ~ because drugs are currently illegal, the cost of drugs at present incorporates a risk premium, and a steep one at that. Making drugs legal would automatically make them a lot cheaper which offers the opportunity to tax them pretty heavily. That generates a revenue stream to pay for the problems that drugs are going to cause. What’s more it is a significantly self-balancing equation. The more drugs are consumed, the bigger the likelihood of problems, but also the more revenue there is to deal with that. And it isn’t costing the rest of the economy.

Monitor and regulate stringently: ~ Like I have said, the problems are not going to go away, but they can be ameliorated if you have systems and institutions in place to respond. The first step is to know what your problems are. To that end, if you have a dedicated tax revenue stream, you have the resources available then to able to establish the means to monitor and regulate both stringently and effectively, particularly if there is an open environment instead of a clandestine one.

Drive out the criminal gangs: ~ deal to them with force if necessary and with other options – legitimate opportunities – if possible. Ultimately the lack of money and the regulations regarding the legitimate drug businesses should force gangs out of drugs. Expect however that they will resist this and that they will try to adapt their business. In one respect this is an easy problem. Gangs are inherently a criminal conspiracy if they are involved in illegal business. Outlaw them and confiscate all their property if they remain involved in criminal activity. Alternatively, give them some legitimate options to do something else if possible. But under no circumstances leave open the possibility of remaining involved in illegal drugs trafficking. There should also be a significant number of other beneficial consequences too, burglaries by youths under the direction of the gangs to pay for their drugs should also cease. In the end the proof of correct policy choices should ultimately be the removal of the rational for the gangs existence and they will die from the lack of money to sustain them

Accept that certain social use is tolerable and acceptable: ~ This is going to be a hard one for many to accept because they have never known anything other than the current system. But it is going to be necessary to accept legal and open drug using, the messages are going to have to change. If we can cope with alcohol, then we can cope with the other drugs too. We simply need to implement the right rules and then get used to the change. That will take a bit of getting used to and some trial and error along the way. Such is life, we will adapt.

Build systems to deal with problematic drug use: ~ Set up a wide scale treatment programme for drug abuse, it needs to be a healthcare initiative in its own right. Intervene quickly and early where there are issues we don’t want perpetuating. Driving while using should attract instant intervention. We currently have drink-driving prohibitions, so the principle is well established, any other drugs should be no different. However, we fail to deal effectively with this problem, driving while under the influence of any intoxicant should be seen as one of the early warning signs that we use to intervene decisively. Fines maybe, group therapy and probation definitely. They should go straight onto a register and be required to complete all sorts of courses, hassled until at the very least they draw a link between their drug use habits and their problems, even if those are externally imposed. Ideally though we want early intervention that is flexible, responsive and adaptive, coupled with education that is truthful, realistic and ongoing. Speaking of education, it also needs to start in the classroom, there are a number of good programs and initiatives already, but it needs to be completely truthful too. Messages that simply say “just say No” are wasted on their target audience. Yes those are fine for most kids, but they weren’t the problem in the first place. Give the sector in danger all the information they want and need. Better that they are safe users than that they are ignorant ones. Very much like sex education really.

Serious drug abusers: ~ The approach used around the country for dealing with this problem will need to be region specific. The approach on the West Coast is not going to be what works in a metropolitan centre. There are already quite a few drug abuse programs and many of them work really well, albeit that is always going to be a relative thing. However, the one thing I will add to this debate is that Auckland in particular as the biggest urban centre could look at the concept of a leper colony on one of the gulf islands. This would be easy enough, they could be sectioned under a mental health rule. There is no reason why it could not be perfectly humane, but it can also be quite prescriptive. The trick is to define exactly what would constitute acceptable restrictions. Let me just throw some possibilities on the table for debate. Round up all the homeless street addicts and transport them away from “decent” people. That’s not as bad as it might sound, leaving people who are not coping out on the streets to try to cope when they are patently incompetent is no sort of caring at all. That’s just neglect masquerading as respect for individual liberty. This idea puts people who are of a type all together, where they can be monitored, restrained if necessary and where they provide direct object lessons to one another as well. When they have demonstrated that they are no longer abusers, then they can be free to leave. The inmates can even run the asylum, many of them are very likely to want to be involved in programs to assist recovery and help fellow addicts. Who better than other users to determine when one of them is bullshitting. They are physically separated from the rest of society, but there is no reason that family and friends cannot visit freely, it would be no harder than visiting Waiheke for instance. There is no reason they could not visit the mainland either under appropriate circumstances. Finally, I would suggest that they be free to indulge in whatever drug they want to, to whatever extent they want to. If they want to drink themselves to death, then quite frankly, who are we to say no, so long as they are doing it in a way that doesn’t harms the rest of us. Sitting on an island with not much else to do but drink yourself to death, may not sound very conducive to recovery, but is it really that much different from their current situation. If they need to do some degree of work supporting their community in exchange for credit at the drug store, I don’t find that unreasonable and could well lead to something like a work habit and they would still be on something like a sickness benefit anyway. They would perforce have to be in the company of other addicts, but frankly I suspect many would prefer like company actually. It may seem an alarming concept, but is it really any worse than their current situations? If they do find it an appalling place to be, then that is surely a great motivation to work to change their situation. Yes, some of them may prefer to live in amongst the rest of the society, but do we want them amongst us? That is at least as legitimate an opinion. So, could or should we do it? Well… it is an idea to debate or contemplate anyway.

.

The good thing is that in-fact most people either don’t use drugs at all, use only very occasionally and sparingly, or use within acceptable boundaries. The ones that don’t are the minority and with proper policies that numbers could be managed down to an even smaller total. There is such a thing as acceptable drug use, so lets not get into a moral panic over something we don’t need to.

The bad things are that the problem users will never go away, we are going to have to learn to live with that and deal with that as best we can. It is critical too that we separate drugs from crime, that is just a disaster from any way you look at it.  Also, much of the problem is created by wasted and broken lives that are the result of wider social issues that have nothing to do with drugs per-se, we need to rebuild our society so that we aren’t creating people who need to be numbed and medicated just to cope with what currently passes as their life. Abuse of drugs says as much about the state of our society as it does about our human propensity to get stoned.

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A little additional reading for those that are interested.

TIME online

Giving heroin to addicts ~ by Gaelle Faure

Why doctors are giving heroin to heroin addicts.

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1926160,00.html?iid=moreontime

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I have no idea but I would suggest you start attending Al-Anon meetings asap.

I would also suggest you call a professional counselor & therapist & ask for help & advice for yourself.

If you had heard all the family member leads like I have over the years & all the efforts their family members made to try & get them to stop drinking to no avail you would get it that no one on this earth has any power over alcoholics or drug addicts or what they choose to say, think or do which includes drinking excessively whether you like it or not.

I go fishing or dancing when someone in my family is using or drinking & have some fun enjoying what I have left of my life.

Their drinking or using is no longer my problem & none of my business.

Disclaimer: Take what you like & leave the rest.