Today we had a super good day. It was the last swimming lesson for the session. There was a kiddie slide…which Nicholas just loved and they spent the time floating around the pool in a raft. Then we went to the Golden Arches…playland and chicken and apples – always a hit with Nicholas. Then we went for a drive nap. Then we went to the Sudbury International Adoption Group Xmas party. I remembered the camera, but it was out of batteries! The party was a hit. It’s fantastic to see all the kids playing together. Nicholas had a good time running with the big kids. By next year he should be having even more fun. The group liked seeing Minah. She was quiet, but did some crawling. Nicholas was scared of Santa when he came for a visit. We finished off the day by watching a Dukes of Hazard episode and eating Mac and Cheese. Yummy! All in all, a very domestic day!

Cute socks...from Korea. Never get to see them because of shoes.

Super cool Mickey shirt from Korea.

The cupboards. Again, and again...

view from the other side

Nicholas' new room! Better than pink!

Candy cane. Didn't get eaten, but looks fun!

Minah's first dress

Figured I would give people an update in the household. We’ve been lucky enough to pass on a 24 hour bug to each others. At least 3 out of the 4 of us have had some form of it in the past 6 days. This started with my youngest daughter, moved on to my wife and then I have some form of it today. The holidays are already challenging enough with the girls and birth family memories- but being sick on top of it takes this to a whole new level.

I tried to do what I could while I was feeling well. That included some laundry and a trip to the store to buy antiseptic supplies, ice pops for my wife and some ginger ale for its medicinal properties. I haven’t had a real full night’s sleep all week. It’s hard when everyone is running to either bathroom and you sleep in the living room (so you can stay away from your wife’s germs) and it’s like a bunch of pit stops at a raceway.

Since we live so close to the mall, we got the chance to experience all the traffic first hand for Black Friday. Both my daughters thought it would be cool to get to the mall when it opened at 6am. By 7:30, their money was gone and they wanted a ride home. Both of them couldn’t handle the large crowds. The younger one wouldn’t listen to the older one while she was going from store to store to buy her Christmas gifts. Can you tell shopping is such a fun experience around our household?

At least I know when things are in crisis mode, my oldest daughter remembers what she was taught from babysitting class to make people feel calmer and safer. My wife was having an asthma attack earlier today and she knew how to get her to puff her inhaler when she physically couldn’t. I guess earlier this summer when my wife fainted at the beach she knew what to do to revive her as well. I’m not so sure my youngest will know what to do other than to freeze and possibly scream.

I’m going to attempt to eat some chicken for supper tonight. Everything I’ve had in the past 5 hours has quickly exited my system almost as quickly as it went in. I guess I’m lucky that I haven’t felt the cramps as badly as my wife and oldest daughter had, but at this point I’m very tired of the house being sick. It brings the mood down of the house, everyone is irritable and you can’t get as much done as you would like.

So everyone have a wonderful weekend. I truly am grateful for all of the commentary through all of the social media websites regarding my blog. I’m hoping that it gives you some food for thought and also some practical items to possibly put into action. Think if you are having a tough day that there’s always someone else who may need your ray of sunshine to brighten their world. It can be as simple as asking, “What’s going on?” and then sitting back to listen. We all need to feel love, appreciated and heard.

Well since Thanksgiving was this week and the point of the holiday is to think about the blessings the Lord has given you, I thought a post on the subject was in order. Normally I spend the holiday with my dad’s side of the family. It is a day full of lots of food and stuffing our faces until we feel sick. But Thursday was rather different. It might have been a little unconventional but it was one of the best Thanksgivings that I’ve ever had. It’s not that I don’t love Thanksgiving with my family. They are amazing and I always have a blast. It’s just that for the first time instead of “Me, me, me,” being the center of conversation, it was Jesus. We talked about God’s goodness and perfect leadership in our life. We even shared some of our favorite Bible verses. It was uplifting and wholesome conversation. I am not downing my extended family at all. Most of them just need Jesus.

The funny thing is who I spent the day with. They feel like family, like my brothers and sisters. It’s probably because in Christ they are! It was a Northern Irish girl (my amazing room mate) who was having her first Thanksgiving, two Louisianians who before they came here never knew each other and have become great friends of mine, and a sweetheart from Seattle(my other awesome room mate). I was just amazed by God’s leadership and His grace and goodness that He has placed such great and awesome brothers and sisters in my life.

As I think about this, I remember the family He has placed me in here, the Loux’s. I am SO BLESSED!!!! If you had told me a year and a half ago that I would be in Kansas City, Missouri working with 2 and 3 year olds, I wouldn’t have believed you. He is so good! I can’t say it enough! He has brought so much healing and freedom from those 3 little ones. They teach me something everyday. They are having a bigger impact on my life than I am having on theirs for sure. They have forced things out of my heart that I didn’t even know were there. The whole family, not just the toddlers, are changing me SO much! Isabelle is such a strong leader and a huge help to everyone. Taylor is so compassionate and kind and can bring calm in frantic situations. Nick is an amazing photographer, has a sweet and precious spirit, and is so good with his younger siblings. John and Tracie have both brought so much healing to those 3 toddlers lives, but also to mine. I am just SO thankful for the entire family!

They bless me everyday I am there. I never feel like I am going to work, but just feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing for my family, loving them. They have a saying around here that they remind us of often, “Lovers outwork workers every time.” In other words, if you love God and see all the stuff you do as unto Him and loving Him, it won’t seem like work anymore. Whereas an employee will do as little as possible to get the most out of it. I want to be a lover of God not a worker or employee.

So what am I thankful for? I’m thankful for family. I’m thankful for a car that runs (and a passenger door that works thanks to my dad! Thanks Daddy!). I’m thankful that I have a place to stay and food to eat. God takes care of His children and I’m thankful for that too. I’m thankful for the perfect leadership of the Lord in my life. I am thankful that God only let’s me see one step in front of me rather than seeing the whole path. He is a Good Shepherd. He knows that if I saw the whole path I would give up. But He asks me to take leaps of faith sometimes, too. I am not always thankful for these things in the moment, but I know them to always be true whether I am “feeling” it or not. God is faithful. Period. Bottom line. End of story.

Above all, I am thankful that Jesus offered Himself as a sacrifice for my sins when I didn’t deserve it. He knew it would be painful and full of agony and rejection, but He chose to carry the weight of the world’s sins on His shoulders that day. Can you imagine. Yet I’m sure in the back of His mind, God the Father was thinking, “Oh but I know the end of the story! It’s unto a wedding! It’s all unto giving My Son a Bride.”

But He would accept nothing less than a pure and spotless Bride. That was impossible without Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for giving it all for me. Even when I don’t see myself as worth it, You say I am.

That’s what I’m thankful for, that and so much more.

I am going to make a point to be thankful for these things everyday in every season, good and bad. I will make the choice to praise God in the fire and in the water. Because He’s worth it.

Much Love,

Lauren

P.S. These pictures are the birthday photos that Nick to for me! Couldn’t have asked for a better gift!

Adoption and Obedience

The first sign of adoption is obedience. A son obeys his father. ‘I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and said unto them, Drink ye wine. But they said, We will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine.’ Jer 35:5. So, when God says drink not in sin’s enchanted cup, an adopted child says, my heavenly Father has commanded me, and I dare not drink. A gracious soul not only believes God’s promise, but obeys his command. True child-like obedience must be regular, which implies five things:

1. It must be done by a right rule

Obedience must have the word for its rule. Lydius lapis [This is the touchstone]. ‘To the law and to the testimony.’ Isa 8:20. If our obedience be not according to the word, it is offering up strange fire; it is will worship; and God will say, Who has required this at your hand? The apostle condemns worshipping of angels, which had a show of humility. Col 2:18. The Jews might say that they were loath to be so bold as to go to God in their own persons; they would be more humble, and prostrate themselves before the angels, desiring them to be their mediators to God. Here was a show of humility in their angel worship; but it was abominable, because they had no word of God to warrant it; it was not obedience, but idolatry. Child-like obedience is that which is consonant to our Father’s revealed will.

2. It must be done from a right principle, from the noble principle of faith

‘The obedience of faith.’ Ro 16:26. Quicquid decorum est ex fide proficiscitur [All acceptable works proceed from faith]. Augustine. A crab-tree may bear fruit fair to the eye, but it is sour because it does not come from a good root. A moral person may give God outward obedience, which to the eyes of others may seem glorious; but his obedience is sour because it comes not from the sweet and pleasant root of faith. A child of God gives him the obedience of faith, and that meliorates and sweetens his services, and makes them come off with a better relish. ‘By faith Abel offered a better sacrifice than Cain.’ Heb 11:4.

3. It must be done to a right end

Finis specificat actionem [The end determines the value of the deed]; the end of obedience is glorifying God. That which has spoiled many glorious services, is, that the end has been wrong. ‘When thou doest shine alms, do not sound a trumpet, as the hypocrites do, that they may have glory of men.’ Mt 6:2. Good works should shine, but not blaze. ‘If I give my body to be burnt, and have not charity, it profits me nothing.’ 1Co 13:3. The same I must say of a sincere aim; if I obey never so much, and have not a sincere aim, it profits me nothing. True obedience looks at God in all things. ‘That Christ may be magnified.’ Php 1:20. Though a child of God shoots short, yet he takes a right aim.

4. True child-like obedience must be uniform

A child of God makes conscience of one command as well as another. Quicquid propter Deum fit aequaliter fit [All things done for God are done with equal zeal]. All God’s commands have the same stamp of divine authority upon them; and if I obey one precept because my heavenly Father commands me, by the same rule I must obey all. As the blood runs through all the veins of the body, and the sun in the firmament runs through all the signs of the zodiac; so true child-like obedience runs through the first and second table. ‘When I have respect unto all thy commandments.’ Ps 119:6. To obey God in some things of religion and not in others, shows an unsound heart; like Esau, who obeyed his father in bringing him venison, but not in a greater matter, as the choice of his wife. Child-like obedience moves towards every command of God, as the needle points that way which the loadstone draws. If God call to duties which are cross to flesh and blood, if we are children, we shall still obey our Father.

(A Body of Divinity)

To what does God adopt us?

1. He adopts us to a state of excellence

It were much for God to take a clod of dust, and make it a star; it is more for him to take a piece of clay and sin, and adopt it for his heir.

2. God adopts us to a state of liberty

Adoption is a state of freedom; a slave being adopted is made a free man. ‘Thou art no more a servant but a son.’ Ga 4:7. How is an adopted son free? Not to do what he lists; but he is free from the dominion of sin, the tyranny of Satan, and the curse of the law. He is free in the manner of worship. He has God’s free Spirit, which makes him free and cheerful in the service of God; he is ‘joyful in the house of prayer.’ Isa 56:7.

3. God adopts us to a state of dignity

He makes us heirs of promise, he installs us into honour. ‘Since thou west precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable.’ Isa 43:4. The adopted are God’s treasure; Ex 19:5; his jewels; Mal 3:17; his first-born; Heb 12:23. They have angels for their life-guards. Heb 1:14. They are of the blood royal of heaven. 1 Jo 3:9. The Scripture has set forth their spiritual heraldry; they have their escutcheon or coat-armour; sometimes the lion for courage; Pr 28:1; sometimes the dove for meekness; So 2:14; sometimes the eagle for flight; Isa 40:31: Thus you see their coat of arms displayed.

4. What is honour without inheritance? God adopts all his sons to an inheritance

‘It is your father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.’ Lu 12:32. It is no disparagement to be the sons of God. To reproach the saints, is as if Shimei had reproached David when he was going to be made king. Adoption ends in coronation. The kingdom God gives his adopted sons and heirs excels all earthly monarchies:-

(a) In riches. ‘The gates are of pearl, and the streets of pure gold, as it were transparent glass.’ Re 21:21.

(b) In tranquillity. It is peaceable, and the white lily of peace is the best flower in a prince’s crown. Pax una triumphis innumeris melior [One peace is better than innumerable triumphs]. No divisions at home, or invasions abroad; no more the noise of the drum or cannon; but the voice of harpers harping is the hieroglyphic of peace. Re 14:2.

(c) In stability. Other kingdoms are corruptible; though they have heads of gold they have feet of clay; but the kingdom into which the saints are adopted runs parallel with eternity, it is a kingdom that cannot be shaken. Heb 12:28. The heirs of heaven reign for ever and ever. Rev 22:5.’

(A Body of Divinity)

1 Jn 3:1  How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

The wonder of God’s love in adopting us will appear the more if we consider these six things:

1. That God should adopt us when he had a Son of his own

Men adopt because they want children, and desire to have some to bear their name; but that God should adopt us when he had a Son of his own, the Lord Jesus, is a wonder of love. Christ is called ‘God’s dear Son.’ #Col 1:13. A Son more worthy than the angels. ‘Being made so much better than the angels.’ #Heb 1:4. Now, since God had a Son of his own, and such a Son how wonderful God’s love in adopting us! We needed a Father, but he did not need sons.

2. Consider what we were before God adopted us

We were very deformed; and a man will scarce adopt him for his heir that is crooked and ill-favoured, but rather him that has some beauty. Mordecai adopted Esther, because she was fair. When we were in our blood God adopted us. ‘When I saw thee polluted in thy blood, it was the time of love.’ #Eze 16:6,8. God did not adopt us when we were bespangled with the jewels of holiness, and had the angels, glory upon us; but when we were black as Ethiopians, diseased as lepers, was the time of his love.

3. That God should be at so great expense in adopting us

When men adopt, they have only some deed sealed, and the thing is effected; but when God adopts, it puts him to a far greater expense; it sets his wisdom to work to find out a way to adopt us. It was no easy thing to make heirs of wrath, heirs of the promise. When God had found out a way to adopt, it was no easy way. Our adoption was purchased at a dear rate; for when God was about to make us sons and heirs, he could not seal the deed but by the blood of his own Son. Here is the wonder of God’s love in adopting us, that he should be at all this expense to accomplish it.

4. That God should adopt his enemies

If a man adopts another for his heir, he will not adopt his mortal enemy; but that God should adopt us, when we were not only strangers, but enemies, is the wonder of his love. For God to have pardoned his enemies had been much; but to adopt them for his heirs, sets the angels in heaven wondering.

5. That God should take great numbers out of the devil’s family, and adopt them into the family of heaven

Christ is said to bring many sons to glory. #Heb 2:10. Men adopt usually but one heir, but God is resolved to increase his family, he brings many sons to glory. God’s adopting millions is the wonder of love. Had but one been adopted, all of us might have despaired; but he brings many sons to glory, which opens a door of hope to us.

6. That God should confer so great honour upon us, in adopting us

David thought it no small honour that he should be a king’s son-in-law. #1Sa 18:18. But what honour to be the sons of the high God! The more honour God has put upon us in adopting us, the more he has magnified his love towards us. What honour that God has made us so near in alliance to him, sons of God the Father, members of God the Son, temples of God the Holy Ghost! that he has made us as the angels, #Mt 22:30; nay, in some sense, superior to the angels! All this proclaims the wonder of God’s love in adopting us.’

(A Body of Divinity)

Adoption gives us the privilege of son, regeneration the nature of sons. (Stephen Charnock)

Adoption is the highest privilege that the gospel offers. (Packer)

Since God has a Son of his own, and such a Son, how wonderful God’s love in adopting us!  We needed a Father, but he did not need sons. (Thomas Watson)

Last weekend we visited family and took a day trip to Baltimore’s Port Discovery.  What an awesome place for kids of any age.  We spent several hours there and didn’t see it all, but they have great spaces for babies, young kids, big kids, and most adults will love it too.

Bing-Bing really enjoyed Egypt

Here she is hanging on to all her “tickets” while climbing/falling off a rock in Egypt.

She loved driving the VW…

… and pumping gas.

This is Kidsworks - it’s a 3-story urban “treehouse” – a climbing extravaganza.

These pictures don’t really do it justice.  It has entrances on all three levels and it’s very open and easy to climb.  It’s also big enough for adults.

However, between this and our trip to Philly’s subway stations, I learned some things about myself that do not make me happy.  I have turned into my mother and my grandmother before her.  Let me explain.  When I was a child, I loved to climb and I was good.  I remember climbing a huge tree in my aunt and uncle’s backyard and my poor granny was a wreck seeing me up so high.  My mom defended my right to climb, as she had been a climber too.  However, when I was about 10, we went to New York City for a few days and my mother was a nervous wreck when we were in the subway stations.  Seems I had a penchant for standing near the edge of the track to see what was going on.  My mother was terrified.  What she didn’t know was that my balance was tremendous and I knew exactly what I was doing.  What she probably did know was I had the judgment of a 10-year-old and didn’t understand I could be knocked into the tracks by a passerby, that trains don’t stop, and all that third rail business. 

So, fast-forward to now and meet me… my mom, my granny.  It seems my vestibular system has deteriorated and worse, it’s connected to this crazy mom-worry thing that happens.  When we were in subway stations on Gotcha Day, I was literally dizzy watching BB.  She didn’t even need to be near the edge.  Once, she was safely strapped in her stroller, 3 feet from the edge and simply leaning toward the tracks for a better look (who wouldn’t?) and I was dizzy.  Sheesh.  Then in Kidsworks I was fine until we were up one story.  Her foot went through the ropes and she was stuck.  I was helping her out and all I could think of was the ropes giving way (and also, “oh, they inspect this thing all the time; there are adults are in here!”).  But I couldn’t get her splat below out of my head.  Then we were in an open area and she was jumping.  The dizziness swept over me.  I was fine when other kids jumped.  It was only her.  I had to look away.  I knew she was fine.  It was awful.  Finally, I left her with her aunt, uncle, and cousins and took a slide outta there so she could be with sane people who wouldn’t get queasy just watching her be a kid and I could stop the dizziness.

Playing in the water room

And another day all-together, but I love this picture at a park as she reaches up to me.

Finally, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  We had a wonderful day.  It’s a very meaningful holiday for us, as two years ago we were in Chongqing for a lovely, but unusual Thanksgiving dinner.

This year, we vowed not to wait until the last minute to go to Zoo Lights, so we met up with some friends tonight for a member’s preview. Joe was in a foul mood after he woke up from his nap. Maybe that was because we whisked him off to the park for a quick (and failed) photo shoot attempt before our zoo trip. (He would have preferred to hang out at home where Christmas decorating was in full swing.)

Grumpy Joe at City Park just before sundown.

We tried to bribe Joe with this annoying, seizure-inducing strobe wand thingy. You know, because we're such awesome parents...Buying your kid something to calm him down during a meltdown. That's good parenting, right? He won't end up being a spoiled, annoying, brat. No, not at all. Ugh!

He had a lot of fun with it, figured out the light settings within seconds, and "swept" the better part of the zoo.

But he did get a real kick out of shoving it up Daddy's nose.

Joe did not want to go to the "North Pole" to see Santa and he made no bones about it.

But he and Zack checked out Santa's Toy Shoppe anyhow. The big guy was busy hanging with kids who thought he was cool, so it was "safe."

This is what the boys thought of me taking so many pictures!

We all took the obligatory train ride, even if the adults mostly sat by themselves. Hi Albert!

Trains make LT really happy! But, of course, I couldn't get a photo of all of the boys smiling at once (while the surrounding adults didn't look like dorks).

Like father, like son. All night long, Joe hauled around this hot cocoa cup and seemed to really enjoy it once it was nearly ice cold.

But there's a reason why hot cocoa probably isn't the best idea for a 2-year-old...in the original cocoa cup.

This is what the poor kid was sitting in. Ew!

We had to take a food break for Joe after the train ride and split away from the group. Joe decided that we couldn't leave until he visited the lizard (statue). But he had a hard time understanding why we couldn't pick it up.

By the time we left, Joe was in a pretty good mood.

Dan, on the other hand...

Almost to the end . . . .  Keep reading . . . . .  This journal entry isn’t dated, but probably is a day or so before Zach was born.

We have started talking about names for the babies.  Even though we have no idea if they will be boys or girls, we have envisioned adopting a boy and being pregnant with a girl.  We’ll see in a few months.

Funny that we are picking two names at the same time.  At present we like Sophie Annette for a girl and Zack Anthony or Quincy Aaron for a boy.  We have others that we like, too, but these are our favorites.

Certainly we are doing better this time than when we went to the hospital with a list of 12 or so names for Elliot!  Ha!

Funny that we sorta knew we were adopting a boy and were pregnant with a girl.  And we kept pretty close to the chosen names.  We ended up with Chloe Annette and Zachary Aaron.

A name is a very important thing, isn’t it?

Besides making sure the name sounds nice and trying to ensure we are not setting our child up for some terrible nickname, Paul and I also took care to choose names with meanings that we could claim for our children.

Elliot Alan.  Elliot means “My God is the Lord.”  Wow.  That is a strong name.  And we gave him the middle name of Alan because that’s Paul’s middle name.  Alan means rock or little rock or handsome.  I like all of those for Elliot.  I certainly think he’s handsome.  And I pray that he is always a strong rock, standing firm in his faith and in his character.

Zachary Aaron.  Zachary means The Lord Remembers.  Yes, it’s a perfect name.  The Lord certainly remembered Zachary — in his birthmother’s womb . . . in the NICU after he was born . . . three weeks later when we picked him up and brought him home . . .  and still today the Lord remembers Zachary!  We decided to stick with middle names starting with A.  Aaron means mountain and enlightened.  Wow.  I like those, too.  The two words make me think of wisdom and confidence — two things I pray for Zach.

Chloe Annette.  Chloe means blooming and verdant and growing.  Oooo.  I like that.  We have watched that little girl slowly blooming right before our eyes!  And the growing and verdant (green) part makes me think of alive and fresh, which she totally is!  Neat!  Annette means grace and favor and full of grace.  Wow!  That makes me want to holler!  She is so full of the favor and grace of God!  It is just all over her.  I can’t even express what a perfect name that is for her. . . .  Now, I must admit if you were to see her walking down the hallway, you would not say she is very graceful!!  Ha!  No, it’s not that kind of grace.  But it’s a more beautiful kind of grace that radiates off of her and touches and blesses everyone she knows.  Graceful, indeed!

Well, now that I’m all touched and emotional and covered with chills reminding myself of the meanings of my kids’ names, I would love to hear about your kids’ names.  Why did you name them what you named them?  What do they mean?  What does it mean to you?

The first part of my essay “バンコクからきた私の娘 (My Daughter from Bangkok)” has been published in a Japanese magazine called “Iwato.” It’s published by my friend Taro’s mom who owns a Theatre Iwato in downtown Tokyo. This seasonal publication by the theater does not limit the content for theater related articles only and instead has an interesting choice of authors from a Rakugo master to an organic chef, and I am honored to be invited in the new issue.

My title is inspired by the book “ペルーからきた私の娘 (My Daughter from Peru)” by Kazuko Fujimoto. She wrote her adoption story when she and her husband David Goodman went to Peru to adopt a baby girl in the 70’s. This child must be around my age (I’m 35 years old), and I wonder how it was to adopt from Peru as a Japanese-American couple back in the days when international marriage and adoption were not known in Japan. Taro’s wife Hina told me about Ms. Fujimoto during my waiting time, and I found this book through her website. I was inspired by her objective yet thoughtful writing about her days in Peru.

My first essay does not have the same literary grace as Ms. Fujimoto’s, but I tried my best. It starts with my small trip to our adoption agency to pick up our daughter’s dossier and ends with the sleepless flight to Bangkok. I had not written in Japanese for a long time, and Taro’s mom had to hire a special editor to correct my grammar. Oye. =(  Nevertheless, I would like to thank Taro’s mom who provided me with a window of opportunity to introduce international adoption to Japan. Most adoption related books available in Japan are outdated, and I wanted a fresh insight through the eyes of my generation.

Since Japan is NOT a Hague-convention country and does not have a history of international adoption, adoption in general has somewhat negative image. In the country where 99% of the citizens are the same race, adopting from abroad is out of question. So I want as many people to know the truth about adoption: why so many people in the West choose international adoption; why we decided to adopt; and facts about adoption. I also wanted to correct the false image from tabloid magazines, because I get negative remarks from people with less knowledge about adoption like “oh, you must be rich, because adoption COSTS and only celebs are adopting these days.” On the contrary! Peter and I are middle-class citizens who live in a rental apartment (we don’t even own a house!) at the outskirts of a city. We drive a second-hand Peugeot (love it tho!) and save money to travel in economy class. I want the Japanese to know that here in Europe, most people who adopt are ordinary citizens, not millionaire. And they do adopt with great responsibility, love and moral consciousness. They don’t adopt just because they need someone to inherit their family business or simply want to become parents to upgrade their social status in their social circle.

The beautiful title font is designed by Taro’s dad, Koga Hirano, a renown typography designer. And yes, Japanese is written from right to left and top to bottom.

L always likes to take a look at printed matter.

I wonder if she will ever learn to read Japanese. Nonetheless I want to keep one copy in her memory box and read the story to her as she grows up.

Next week is the deadline for the 2nd essay and I wrote about 1) arriving in Bangkok, 2) fighting jet-lag, and 3) meeting our social worker Ms. C. Now I am waiting for my dad’s correction on my first draft. He is my best and harshest critique and editor.

Droopy, jeune lapin à adopter dont je vous ai précédemment parlé, est à la maison depuis hier midi: mon collègue de travail ne pouvait pas le garder chez lui plus longtemps. Je l’héberge donc à la maison en attendant de lui trouver une nouvelle famille. Voici quelques nouvelles photos de lui, prises hier soir: il est adorable!

J’ai coupé ses griffes hier soir et j’ai fait un petit contrôle superficiel: oreilles parfaites, arrière-train plus blanc que blanc, yeux et nez magnifiques, abdomen très souple, incisives splendides. Il mange bien (notamment plein de foin) et fait des crottes de compétition Bref, c’est un petit loulou qui semble en parfaite santé. Je lui ai donné du rongeur digest pour prévenir tout risque de perturbation du transit en raison des émotions liées au transport et au changement de maison. Il n’a bien entendu aucun contact avec mes lapins et je me désinfecte les mains systématiquement avant et après l’avoir touché. J’ai organisé une quarantaine dans une petite cage avec alèse pour le week-end, et si tout se passe bien, je l’installerai dans une grande cage dans la cuisine (où se trouve déjà, en hauteur, la cage de Allegri, ma calopsitte) dès dimanche après-midi. Je commencerai alors la transition vers les granulés complets et les légumes. Je vais également le vermifuger en même temps que mes lapin ce week-end.

Il a une sacrée bouille, vous ne trouvez pas? Il semble assez détendu (même s’il n’aime pas trop l’appareil photo) et se laisse très bien manipuler et porter.

I was on the road again tonight. I am on the road a lot. I don’t mind it. Being that I am as laboriously introspective as I am, it gives me time to let my thoughts unravel at will. I get excited at the ideas I have, the ideas pull on me like a thread, from one place to another.

So much has been going on. I finished a huge creative project that I have devoted three years to. That is crazy, I lose my place so easily, you know it became all about process. I forgot that it had an end, that the end would feel so satisfying.

I forget that I have actually DONE stuff, because I am always involved in some project that seems impossible to do.

So Thanksgiving came and went. I was sad for a bit that I couldn’t see my mother on Thanksgiving, and it is hard to acknowledge that as far as I know the main reason I couldn’t see her was ME.

I had a great Thanksgiving though.

Things I am thankful for:

My family, that my connections with the ones I get to see and know feels so magical. Adoptive and Biological.

My friends, natch.

That I can draw.
In one of my darkest hours, I was in an art therapy class with a bunch of other nutters and a young man threw his charcoal at me. He was jealous of my facility, in that moment for the first time I realized that while I was suffering, and he was suffering, I at least had an expression an outlet.

Everyone felt sorry for me at the time, as he stormed out, but I realized looking at his crabbed attempts, that I was given a release, and he was not unlike a teapot with no vent.

I am grateful I can write and speak. That I can get people behind my ideas because I understand words without even meaning to.

I am grateful to the girl who gave me a big stink in grade 4, who attacked me because my friends and I liked to sit at the lunch table at the top of the hill, and she hated me for that. It taught me how to be hated and still triumph.

I am grateful for the horror I felt, still feel at ostracizing one of my clique in grade 4, because it taught me never to do that again. When Tomtom was teased in Grade 1, that experience taught me to say, “Don’t ever forget this feeling, and don’t let yourself be on the other end of it, because you are an amazing person and teasing hurts.” By the time he had become Macdaddy in about Grade 5, he was a kind and compassionate Macdaddy. I am glad I didn’t buy into the whole ‘those kids are just horrible’ thing, because we are all kids, and we are all horrible.

I am grateful that he is so loving, smart and funny. I am grateful that I raised him.

I am grateful that he told me his reasons for choosing his girlfriend is she was smart, had goals, and wasn’t some ditzy “lets get a bottle and go party girl” despite him teasing me about feminism through a large part of his high school years.

I am grateful that on the adoptee fried chickenry some people listed the forum as something to be grateful for. That when Lillie first appeared before my eyes claiming that she just wished she could change her DNA into her adoptive DNA, I had the wherewithal to not see it as an attack, but to understand it. That Dory reached out to me when I left chosen babies after being chided for saying fuck. That Stewie thought I was saying “illegal” things and liked it, that Addie is so freaking funny and taught me a whole new definition for Godzilla. Of course to Marsha for being so giving and willing to be in the background.

To Kim and to Kippa who have been on the other side of the equation but proved themselves redoubtable. Who have stood by me, in the face of calumny (that word is dedicated to you Kippa).

To the woman whose name I don’t remember who I met at a party after one of the worst nights of my life and leaned over to me and said after just a brief meeting, “You are incredibly lovely, and I am just saying this because I don’t think people tell each other
this kind of thing enough” which inspired me to remember to tell other people.

I am grateful for the times when I don’t lose my place. The times when I am sitting across from someone who in my mind has so much power than I do, and yet I find myself saying in response to their “It’s impossibles”

“I know I am not bigger, or richer, that is why I am going to be smarter” and believing it. I find myself confidently leaning forward. Dude, I have been told, I could not, would not, cannot my whole life, yet here I am.

Still asking for birth certificate access, and I will keep asking until I hear a YES, YES, YES. I have taken my share of nos, I know you just have to keep asking, eventually, attrition rules.

I am grateful for my analytical abilities and my faith, my friends, my dog, my cat, my life.

As I drive into town, I hear this song, and think this is the first song I ever identified with. It was before I even met my mom, which was a lifetime ago. I remember listening to this song over and over, and it still feels as present as ever.

So yes, I am grateful for the Simon and the Garfunkel. Yes, I was no more than a girl when I left my home and my family. The comfort of others in the same situation:

Check out these new articles on Barefoot & Pregnant!

Maternity Photography-Capturing the Magic of Pregnancy: “Years ago, no woman in her right mind would have considered baring her pregnant belly for the world to see.  Times have changed!”

How to Locate a Child for Adoption: “Now a days, most adoptive parents locate a baby for adoption by meeting and being selected by a birth mother, usually while she is in the latter stage of pregnancy. All waiting adoptive parents aim to find a birth mother they like and trust.”

Eight Baby-friendly Thanksgiving Dishes: “Make baby’s first Thanksgiving one his or her taste buds will never forget. Here’s a baby-friendly spin on eight traditional holiday foods, many of which are probably already on your grocery list.” 

PIXIE NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Someone dumped Pixie in a park and drove away. Fortunately a caring family picked her up and took care of her until she came into rescue. Rescue immediately took her to the vet as she was not spayed, micro-chipped or up to date on shots. The sad news is that Pixie has cancer of her mammary glands and needed immediate surgery.  This grotesque tumor has been growing for sometime and was ignored by her owner. If caught early she could have lived a long life, however now we are not so sure. Pixie NEVER would have had this aggressive cancer is she had been spayed. Dr. Joan Talbot of Tropicana Animal Hospital performed surgery on Pixie Wednesday to remove the growth and send to lab for diagnosis. Pixie is a tiny little girl and the incision to remove the tumor is huge, so there is fear that it may come open. Now Pixie is resting in her foster home under the careful & loving supervision of Darlene Kearley and family.

Pixie is resting in her foster home under the careful & loving supervision of Darlene Kearley and family.This is where Pixie needs your help…her operation and continuing care is expensive and we ask that if you are able to please make a donation to Pixie’s medical bills. You can do this by sending a check to:

LVHDDCR c/o Leilani Ehlers
5840 W. Craig Rd Suite 120-287
Las Vegas NV 89130

Or you can also make a donation through paypal using the button under Pixie’s pictures on our site.  Please let us know that your donation is for Pixie.  We all know that money is tight especially this time of year, but please let us show Pixie that where her owner walked away to let her die, we will walk in and help her to live. Thank you from Pixie

Help Pixie live

www.lvhddachshundclub.com/Rescue/CurrentDogs/Pixie.htm

Little incidents regarding adoption happen to us now and then.

I was chatting with a woman who is SH’s best buddy’s sister, discussing our kids generally. She suddenly asked me, “But are you sure you don’t treat them differently?” I was a bit caught off guard. I tend to give people a big benefit of the doubt. Some ask q’s out of malicious intent, but the majority of people are genuinely curious, and possibly sharing my experience may help them understand adoptive families, and an increased awareness is a very good thing for persons who were adopted to be treated less differently, and not as a specimen of interest. I answered her generally with my usual speech abt how we all treat our kids differently…because each one is really different. And about my same ground rules for both, but with different attention given as per their age, gender, different capabilities, needs, skills, blah, blah. But I think I should’ve just first asked her whether she treats her kids differently! And then talked about my family. Because otherwise I’m allowing her to put my parenting under her microscope…she should allow me to nit-pick at her parenting too, right?!

Another friend who is getting closer and dearer also had a nonplussed look on her face during the following interaction. I had told her Dhruv’s birthdate and she exclaimed that so many people were born between 14th and 18th Oct. Then we joked about how we should track back nine months…maybe that particular time of the year was a very fertile period or a very romantic one for so many women to be conceiving! Then she said, yeah, around Jan end, right. And I was like, “Jan, is it?” And she looked at me very strangely…she must’ve been wondering about how I could forget when I conceived or found out I was pregnant! I guess I’ll let her know sometime how my family is built…I wouldn’t mind at all…but the look on her face was priceless!

Adoption has always been part of our home. Ever since our oldest (now 12) was about 2 years old, we started praying for his “brothers and sisters” at night (even tho he didn’t have any yet).  You know now that I’ve always wanted a little ‘chocolate’ baby.  So when our second boy was about 2, we started thinking about adoption and praying about it – we were really open with our kids and knew it was important to include them in any thoughts or potential decisions we would make.  So since then (that is 8 years ago now) we have prayed every night that if it’s God’s will for us to adopt, that He keep our little chocolate baby safe in His arms until he or she is ready to come home with us. 

Now, my sister-in-law is Filipino so our niece and nephew are part Filipino – we call them our little cinnamon babies.  I hope not to offend anyone with my chocolate and cinnamon names – they are just loving names we use in this house. 

Now, to our cute moment…our little Songbird (she is 5) LOVES stories. Ever since she was tiny, I lay with her and tell her stories and she tells me stories. About a year ago we came up with a little mouse family that most of our stories are about now. I always ask her questions like, “Oh, and then little Charlie went swimming, what do you think mice swim on?”  She’ll say something like, “An orange peel.”  The other day we were telling a Mr. H story (the husband of the mouse family has the same name as my husband, Mr. Handsome) and I asked her “what happened next?”  She replied “Oh and as the children were passing the alley, they heard a terrible shriek and there was Patches, their arch-enemy.  He was tormenting a poor little cinnamon mouse.” 

“Oh dear.” I replied, gasping in horror.

“Yes, so the children tricked that bad old cat and rescued the poor cinnamon mouse. It turns out that her parents died on the long journey from England.  They took her home and adopted her.  Now Mr. H has his very own cinnamon baby. The end.” 

It was so cute.  I love those Mommy Moments!

We live in a different economic climate these days. Some states in the USA are reporting double digit unemployment numbers. Even if you do have a job, many of us this year have seen health insurance costs passed on to us, raises suspended or frozen, and others having to take some unpaid furlough time or risk being laid off. It’s very easy to be swayed into thinking there’s no hope for your future and that we will be stuck in these recession times for years.

I went through the same feeling during my college years of the early 1990’s. I worried about finding the right career after obtaining my degree. I realized quickly that if you really are sincere about who you are as a person and get to know others through your lifetime (plus make a regular habit of keeping in contact with them), your chances of survival are much higher.

Luckily for me, I continued through my college career developing my own deejay business with my best friend and partner. We pooled all of our extra income back into the business, updating our look, our equipment and continually striving to offer the biggest production at the best prices. When I finished college I started on a path of teaching- obtaining an emergency private school job in my town thanks to the headmaster of the school following my career. I made an impression not just working in his cafeteria for four years, but also through my work in the community and my academic accolades.

When I moved into my current work at a hospital, my father-in-law gave me the heads up about an opening on the overnights. I spent years debating whether I wanted to work at this particular place of employment- but knew that now would be the right time to do this because of our child care needs. When it comes to adoption, I didn’t want my daughters to spend a long time getting to know us or form attachments. Being that they were older children, we knew the road would be harder and bumpier- so I felt it would be easy for one of us to be at home with the kids when they got home from school. I’ve never regretted the decision- I love my work, I love my wife, I love my daughters and I think they are growing up to be wonderful young ladies as a result of the security and consistent parenting models they receive.

You can always do something to move you in the direction of your goals. If you don’t have the dream job you desire, find someone who’s working in that field and ask them for advice about the skills and people they need to know to get into that field. I’m going to take some advice from Jack Canfield that he posed in the January 2010 issue of Success magazine. He believes this year everyone should take one new activity they’ve never done before and spend 30 consecutive days doing that activity. Some of his ideas include: 30 minutes per day of aerobic exercise, reading 30 minutes a day in the personal development/ self-help field, call one of your children on the phone, drink 10 glasses of water per day, and so forth. Imagine how much stronger you would be in mind, in body, in spirit, if you added 12 new life skills to your personal balance sheet?

Now is the time to take matters into your own hands. There are universal principles that apply in any time period to make things better for your life. Study people who made their success in tough time periods of life: especially the great depression of the 1930’s and 1940’s. It’s so easy to put the blame on the government, on your parents, on where you live, or any other external circumstance. Take the time to look within yourself and I bet if you spend more time working on yourself, the ideas and goals you need to accomplish to get further ahead will be staring at the mirror in front of you.

Greenwillow Books, 2009     ISBN: 0060502479

Using the plot device of an anger management group for troubled teens, Crutcher presents three novellas that explore the reasons why each member has been referred to the group.

There are a couple of familiar characters from Crutcher’s other novels or stories: Angus Bethune, the fat teen with two sets of gay parents from “Athletic Shorts: Six Short Stories,” finds friendship and the surprising possibility of love with Sarah Byrnes, the burned girl from the novel “Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes,” as they take a road trip to Reno to find the mother who abandoned her to her violent father shortly after he purposefully burned her hands and face on a wood stove.

In another novella, Crutcher explores the spiraling damage of a hate crime badly handled by a school principal and superintendent. Matt Miller, a straight-laced Christian teen finds himself speaking out on behalf of Marcus James, the only black, and only out gay teen in their rural high school.

Then there is Montana West, the adoptive daughter of the school board president, a rigid and controlling man. With the help of a teacher, Montana decides to challenge the school’s decision not to run her article on medical marijuana in the school paper. Meanwhile, at home, her father has decided to return a little girl to the foster care system, and Montana faces him down on that issue as well.

These novellas are absorbing, engaging reading, and make a good choice for reading aloud, or recommending to reluctant readers. They would serve very well for classroom or book group discussion, and are likely to lead readers to Crutcher’s other books, as well as to other books about teens facing extremely difficult obstacles.

The device of the angry management group is almost extraneous; it either should have been better fleshed out and incorporated into the book, or left out altogether. However, this is a minor detraction from an excellent book that should be in every teen collection.

Le chanteur vient d’entamer un procédure d’adoption afin de devenir officiellement le père de Leni, la fille ainée de sa femme Heidi Klum.

 Le père de Leni est un patron de formule 1 italien nommé Flavio Briatore. Celui-ci  a rompu avec le mannequin allemand alors qu’elle était enceinte et  a ensuite abandonné ses droits parentaux. Heidi a ensuite rencontré Seal  qui était déjà à ses côté à la naissance de Leni. La petite fille qui a aujourd’hui 5 ans n’a grandi qu’avec le chanteur, c’est lui qui l’a vu naître et éduqué. Seal la considère comme sa fille et aurait déjà commencé les procédures pour devenir son tuteur légal avant Noël ! Le père biologique de la fillette aurait donné son accord.

Seal a confié : “Leni est mon premier enfant, comme les autres, je l’ai sentie bouger dans le ventre de sa mère, et j’étais là à sa naissance“.

Après Leni, Heidi et Seal ont eu trois enfants : Henry 4 ans, Johan 3 ans et Lou, née le 9 octobre dernier.

Et comme le dit Gunter, le père de la jolie blonde : “Ils ont toujours formé une famille heureuse dans la vie, il faut maintenant qu’ils en forment une sur le papier“.

Sources : actustar.com, le 27 Novembre 2009 et people.premiere.fr, le 26 Novembre 2009.

By Mike Smith

Below is a report on how singer and actress Madonna is about to adopt ANOTHER baby kaffir. As if one was not enough.

She is meeting some resistance to this by people who think that these so called “orphaned” kids should be cared for by their own people and extended families. The baby Porch Monkey she “adopted” the last time was not an orphan at all, the dad of little David Banda is still very alive and so is the extended Banda family. This Dad, Yohane, Banda…sold his own child to Madonna. This was no adoption, it was blatant HUMAN TRAFICKING. Why is this woman allowed to get away with it?

Why she adopts these kids, nobody knows, because she doesn’t care for them. She has a whole long list of Caretakers she drives like slaves 24/7 to do all her work.

These are the same type of Leftwing trash who criticizes Apartheid for separating people, when in fact Apartheid was the grouping together of specific people in their own countries and their own cultures. Under Apartheid the White people of South Africa gave each Black tribe its own Country to live in amongst their own people. Apartheid rather united people than divide them. Apartheid never separated children from their parents and communities.

Even our soldiers on the Namibian Angola border did a lot for these Black communities. The schools and hospitals we built for Blacks up there still stands today. Our Instructors who held the rank of lieutenant were often school teachers and taught these Blacks in these schools. The SADF served these Black communities very well in their own areas.

What did the Communist do? They took their Black SWAPO terrorists to East Germany to be trained and then return to Angola, leaving their Black Children behind in East Germany.

After the fall of the Berlin wall, these kids were allowed to return to Namibia, but they were torn between two worlds, could only speak German and their own African country felt strange to them.

The only people who separate children from their parents and communities are Leftwing Communist trash.

Madonna urged to rethink adoption

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7969416.stm

Vadge’s Nanny Quits That Bitch

http://www.dlisted.com/node/31267

East Germany’s Namibian Adventure

http://www.dw-world.de/dw/article/0,,1400820,00.html

Source: ZA Sucks