The “L” Word: Defining Love

Regardless of whether or not a person’s goal is to find “love” while dating, the subject often comes up. That is, people who aren’t “looking” for it often find it, while those on an earnest quest might not. It may elude some, because their expectations are so high that it would be impossible to match them. Throughout the history of mankind, our culture has painted love as mysterious, complex, difficult, and sometimes, entirely un-definable. Nonetheless, love is the subject of countless poems, stories, novels, movies, songs and other art and literary works. Ironically, despite the enormous amount of material available about love, allot of it is contradictory.For some, the concept of defining love is a near impossible endeavor. Perhaps this is due to the anxiety that once defined, love may not have the same impact than it does without definition. Therefore, the whole advent of love would be less exhilarating. Perhaps the mere fact that it is so indefinable makes it more elusive, thus, more mysterious, and therefore, more enticing. It could very well be that all of the complications surrounding love actually come from imagined situations and beliefs that we create ourselves, thus adding more power to an otherwise simple emotion. Basically, the whole concept of love has become such a convoluted conundrum, that everyone seems to have his or her own take on what it really is. When you think about, it’s quite odd that it takes so many different forms and means so many different things to people – many of whom desire to have it in some of the very same ways, ultimately.

Which leads one to question: if someone is looking for love, would they even recognize it if they found it? How does one differentiate between love and infatuation, true love and mere attraction? Or between love and sexual desire; love and friendship; sex and intimacy? And finally, between a really satisfactory relationship and one that is only pleasurable? How can one define love in a way that is clear, logical, and meaningful? Most relationships, whether they involve love, infatuation, friendship, dating, marriage, family, community, or career, usually involve three key elements:

1 – Emotions, or feelings we have toward people

2 – Ethics, or how we are motivated to behave toward people

3 – Contentedness, or how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other

Those three elements generally determine the quality of relationships. How they interrelate, usually determines the level at which they are successful. Where “love” is concerned, and attraction is normally initially considered the most important key, usually being the catalyst. Ironically, however, attraction rarely suffices to signify a relationship, regardless of how strong or enduring the attraction may be.

If love’s emotional components could be distilled down to core components, they might include:

1 – Acceptance
Often compared to “unconditional love,” acceptance means allowing someone to be exactly as they are, with no desire to change them. In contrast, when love is conditional, the moment anything is changed, “love” – or, in some cases, the illusion thereof, evaporates.

2 – Admiration
Beyond acceptance, appreciation is respecting who someone is through aspects such as personality, positivity, insights, humor and companionship. Usually, “in love” means a person’s level of appreciation is beyond an average level, exceeding that of a casual acquaintance.

3 – Generosity
Usually, a feeling of love is accompanied by the desire to be generous in terms of lending oneself to the betterment to another individual, in some fashion. This is based upon the assumption that we want those we care about to be physically, mentally and emotionally happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled.

If we are inspired to feel the above core elements toward someone, there is a strong possibility that we care deeply for, even “love” that individual. How love is expressed depends entirely upon each individual. And not everyone always expresses love. While love is a feeling, the expression of it is a separate action. Often, there is a practical reason we may not always express love for each and every person we love. It’s usually a situation of time. Therefore, if the expression of love is a core ingredient to love, we must be discerning about whom we choose to love. There simply isn’t enough time to love everyone. The distinction between the feeling of love and the expression of it demonstrates how one can “love” endless numbers of people. Love is most often expressed when attention, time, and focus is given to someone. Attention is defined as “the giving of one’s mind to something, i.e. mental concentration, notice, thoughtful of others.” The many ways in which attention can be given to others include our senses, such as listening – being completely present in the moment; using our eyes to see, giving another our undivided attention; touching, hugging, hand holding, caressing, or sexual expression. It may also be in the form of thought that produces a gesture, such as giving a gift. How love is expressed depends upon the type of relationship one is in. Regardless of whether one is looking for love, trying to find it or determine if they are actually “in love,” it would be interesting to see what would happen in the world if everyone let go of all of the predisposed ideas surrounding love and relationships long enough to experience just some of the components of love “in the moment.” If that were possible, it may also be probable to define love, for what may turn out to be, a lifetime.

i adore this band! and i watched this videj…. ooooh! it’s exellent!

Monday was computer day, so of course there’s no real projects or anything to show.  We’re doing powerpoint..which is a no brainer.

I also got rolled spicy tuna for dinner (yeah it doesn’t look pretty there).  It’s actually fresh! and good! versus the Safeway sushi from Davis.

I also have this Watermelon Arizona that is taking me hours to finish. (I started at 10, it’s now almost 2)

I got out of the house a bit late, and so while I was leaving I saw this big square  placed at an angle ontop o my mail box. It didn’t even fit it!  I was curious so I looked, and it was a package for me!  It took me a second to realize what it was, because I wasn’t really expecting any packages…

It was my vinyl I ordered from the band You Love Her Coz She’s Dead!  I placed an order for their new release, as well as back order on their older vinyl.   So, because it was both pre-order + back order I knew I had to wait… but I’m happy they didnt’ forget about me!

I was in a rush so I brought it with me to school.  I noticed the package said 1xvinyl sticker, so I thought maybe it was just one of the albums… but when I got to open it, it was actually all of them tucked in neatly to keep from breaking over seas! plus a few bonuses

I’m # 379 of 500 for their Me Versus You Limited Vinyl

Signed! The awesome perks of buying straight from the artist

Also, their was this CD-R in the package… and it was blank, so I thought maybe they accidentally placed it in there?… while listening to their singles on the record player, I was thinking how it sucks my vinyl converter isn’t that great… and though it would be cool if the CD-R had the tracks… so I decided to check the disc, because I was curious.

Low and behold they did include them on CD-R for me. How considerate! I think they’re even more wonderful now♥

All the tracks are awesome.  I have a devoted love for chiptunes, and they use a lot of electronic-8bit samples which drew them to me in the first place.  I also must say I love you again to Kitsune Maison or introducing me to this awesome duo♥.

Video for “Dead End” from their debut EP Inner City Angst. This is the second track on Side A.

I recommend all their songs, but Superheroes is the first song I heard that got me into them, plus it reminds me of Kev and I.

ADORE him.

Bow down and worship him at his throne.

Cast your cares upon him for he cares for you.

Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart.

EVERLASTING arms protect us.

FEAR him.

GLORIFY him.

Honor him.

INCLINE your ears toward him.

JUSTIFIED before our Lord.

KEEP his commandments.

LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart mind and soul.

MAKE a joyful noise unto the Lord.

NOW is the time for salvation.

OPEN your mouth wide and he will fill it.

PRAISE him with your whole heart.

QUITENESS will be your strength.

REST in his presence.

SING unto the LORD a new song.

TRUST in Him at ALL times.

UNDER the shadow of his wings we will hide.

VICTORY is ours when we pray.

WORSHIP him.

X

YIELD to him.

ZEAL of the Lord.

It has often been said that Newcastle has some of the world’s best beaches. I wouldn’t know about that – I haven’t visited all of them.

What I do know is that having travelled around a lot of Australia, Newcastle is certainly up there with the best that Australia has to offer.

It is hard, in my view, to define just what makes the best beach. I imagine that someone who surfs would have certain criteria that differs from someone like me, who likes the natural beauty of a place more than anything else when it comes to liking a beach.

I think the beaches around the West Australia town of Esperance are simply stunning and I currently rate these as the best beaches in Australia that I have seen. There may well be better beaches, but in my opinion, those of Esperance are better than Newcastle’s beaches. But that opinion includes criteria such as seclusion, natural beauty, etc. For recreational use, access, etc, Newcastle has some brilliant beaches that the locals adore. They are certainly good for a walk along when it isn’t too hot and they aren’t too crowded.

A pastor who wears jeans, a black T-shirt and laceless Converse All-Stars.

A priest who taps away feverishly on a BlackBerry.

A reverend who podcasts his sermons.

A minister who asked parishioners to rate his performance using an online survey.

This is church?

It is in our modern era of gadgets, gizmos and Google, and it could explain how some mainline Christian denominations in Greater Victoria are bucking recent trends and actually attracting more people.

It’s not easy. According to University of Lethbridge sociologist Reginald Bibby, the number of Canadians who claimed they had no religion jumped from less than one per cent in 1961 to 16 per cent by 2001.

Using census data, Bibby found formal membership in United, Anglican and Presbyterian groups dropped by 25 per cent over the same period, even though the Canadian population increased by about 70 per cent. Meanwhile, the proportion of people identifying with the other four world faiths — Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism and Buddhism — increased from about one to five per cent, largely as a result of immigration.

Since then, some churches have been have been fighting to regain the hearts — and souls — of would-be parishioners.

One of those is Glad Tidings Pentecostal Church on Quadra Street, where rods of rebar are welded together to make a postmodern crucifix. On stage, a skinny kid with a mop of blond hair adjusts his amp, while nearby, young women in scarves move tables and hang curtains.

They are preparing for evening worship.

“I think people would be pleasantly surprised if they visited us and saw what’s happening here,” says Andy Moore, the 35-year-old Arizona-born associate pastor who leads a growing congregation within Glad Tidings called Adore.

Glad Tidings has three separate congregations that appeal to different demographics and draw a combined total of about 1,200 people per week.

There’s a Sunday morning service that tends to be more traditional, followed by a service geared to families.

Adore, the upstart congregation Moore leads, is aimed at thirtysomething urbanites and meets Sunday evenings. But its high-octane services are also appealing to many senior citizens. So many, in fact, that organizers have begun providing earplugs to some of them.

The aim of Adore, Moore explains, is to put the teaching of the Bible into today’s world. “The Bible is incredibly relevant,” he says. “It can’t be read entirely as an ancient book, but as a book that speaks still today.”

Part of Adore’s success, Moore says, is using technology as a way of connecting with people. The congregation has a website, a blog and a Facebook group and podcasts each sermon. “We don’t Twitter yet, but we’ve been talking about it,” he says with a laugh.

Other churches are growing too. St. Joseph the Worker Parish in Saanich is undergoing a $1.5-million renovation to create more space for the roughly 1,000 people that attend the three weekly services.

Father William Hann, who was ordained in 2004 after years of teaching in the Catholic and public school systems, says being welcoming, hospitable and kid-friendly is the key to the church’s growth.

He also cites its proximity to a school, its youth ministry and its adult faith programs. “It’s not just coming to church,” he says. “It’s growing in your faith.”

It’s also about speaking in the present.

“We’re bringing the gospel to the issues that confront us,” Hann says.

And there’s a role for technology, too. Hann says he responds to more than two dozen e-mails a day and his BlackBerry keeps him organized and accessible, especially in a time of crisis.

Meanwhile, the parish’s youth minister, Bradley Cameron, relies on Facebook, an e-mail listserve and text messaging to stay in contact with parish youth.

The 19-year-old says his church also uses modern media and scenarios set in the present to underscore its teachings.

“The message doesn’t change, but the way we reach people can and must,” he says.

Technology, says Rev. Harold Munn of the Church of St. John the Divine, allows his Anglican church to communicate with people using whatever tools are available.

The church’s website is an easy way for both current and would-be parishioners to connect with the church, listen to a podcast and hear for themselves whether it’s the place for them.

But Munn says the website also points to the character of the place. “The fact that we have a web presence indicates to some people that this is a church interested in connecting with the contemporary world as opposed to a church that just wants to keep things the way they were a hundred years ago,” he says.

Munn says St. John’s uses technology to highlight its interest in social-justice causes and express a style of Christianity for modern times.

A few blocks away, at First Metropolitan United Church on Balmoral Road, lead minister Rev. Allan Saunders says the church has turned to online registration for an upcoming conference.

The church also uses the website Survey Monkey as a quick and easy way to engage its 350 regular members on certain issues, including staff performance.

But Saunders points to something Martin Luther King, Jr. said at the height of the Cold War: “The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”

Adds Saunders, “His point was we have technology, but we don’t have the wisdom about what to do with technology, and I think we face that same issue.”

mpearson@tc.canwest.com

http://www.timescolonist.com/technology/Victoria+churches+pack+pews/2199210/story.html

Society has come a long way…

Here’s a hastily taken shot of me and my rock star of the day 龍應台.

The talk was very much focused on her experience researching on materials and collating stories for 《大江大海》. She’s a skilled story teller and admirable thinker, and I’m happy I got to listen to her in person.

One day I’ll have courage to pick up 《目送》. When I’m not so cry babyish anymore when I think about my parents.

Then again I’m hoping I will, in spite of.

+

I had some fond childhood memories of 82 Genting Lane. When we were in primary school we attended Chinese speech and drama class at the News Center every Sunday for 1-2 years, and it being Sunday meant we were free to roam the grounds. (A few times we annoying kids got reprimanded by (I supposed) journalists when we accidentally hid-and-sought into their offices.)

Today was the first time I revisited the place after close to two decades. The place had shrunk, in the way your primary school and other childhood settings do when you first revisit in decades. Other places like the toilet and the view of the carpark outside sprung up familiarly from my tucked away memories, but it was mish-mashed with reality and I was caught in an unclear span of time and space.

The torturous long walk out to MacPherson Road in my memory was, in fact, a short 5-minute one. And today I took a photo of the building I was happy to see every Sunday. It was just opposite no. 82 and it meant, “媽，我們到了！”

It just gotta be five … and only this five -

I’m keeping my faith, always

Today Muse published on their Myspace page their new video! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

Love them! … And this song is the one I’m in love with from the new album!

Can’t wait till November 21 to go to see them in concert in Bologna, Italy!!!

Ps: Matt is a Genius!

It’s really cute! I like it so much! It inspired me to do one!

My first Girl friends MV!

A music video about Mari’s emotions about her love for Akko.
Because she knows that she can’t be with Akko, she tried to move on and forget about her love for Akko by hooking up with Harada-kun. (The wounded song says it all about her needing.)

She thought she can be happy, but in the end, she can’t, her love for Akko is too great to move on.

Hope you like it, and please rate and comment!

Forgetting the feeling you have for someone is one of the things that shouldn’t be easy, after a long time of loving, here you are now trying to forget but still loving in silence.

i love him so much and much more

totally, truly … the love of my life ♥

What does this salon/spa specialize in?
Hair Color
Hair Cuts
Weaves
Healthy Hair

What is the average price for a standard service (e.g. chemical treatment/wash and blow dry)?
$140-$160

After your visit, how would you rate the salon on:
Timeliness
3 neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
Cleanliness
5 completely satisfied
Professionalism
5 completely satisfied
Service Satisfaction
4 somewhat satisfied
Overall Satisfaction
4 somewhat satisfied

Would you recommend this salon?
Yes

Additional comments
I’ve had situations where I was dissatisfied with my chemical process and my Stylist was eager to accommodate doing the service again. Also generally interested in how my hair reacted.

Muchos de nosotros crecimos en un ambiente donde “iglesia” era solo una palabra de domingo. Durante toda la semana solo se hablaba de la escuela, prácticas de deportes, de los problemas, de las deudas y cuando llegaba el domingo todos buscábamos los mejores atuendos para ir a la iglesia. El trauma más grande era qué me pongo de ropa, si los vecinos siempre van con ropa nueva o qué doy de ofrenda si solo tengo monedas y no llegan ni a un dólar. Salíamos de la iglesia y seguíamos el mismo patrón arriba mencionado, ¡tipo robot! Nos hicimos adolescentes en este ambiente y cuando tuvimos la oportunidad de tomar nuestras propias decisiones cada cual decidió buscar algo más divertido que tener que sentarse un domingo en la mañana en un sitio donde lo que se escuchaba era el “bla-bla-bla” de una persona limitándonos a realizar cosas y donde la lista de los “NO” no tenía fin.  ¿Te identificas? Así crecimos muchos, con una imagen distorcionada de lo que es una iglesia.

Hoy día todavía hay gente con esa imagen distorcionada. Donde la mente los lleva a recordar lo que les enseñaron y todavía piensan que para entrar a una iglesia deben ser santos, perfectos o simplemente ni se preocupan por visitar una iglesia porque así no fueron criados. Si este es tu caso, tenemos una noticia para ti: ¡El tipo de persona que te haga creer que necesitas ciertos requisitos para entrar a una iglesia, todavía existe! Lo bueno es que para distinguir quiénes son, Dios nos dió una guía llamada Biblia, donde menciona cada una de las carácterísticas que tiene ese tipo de persona. Una iglesia no es un edificio, sino un grupo de personas que la componen.  Las personas que visitan una iglesia no necesitan ser perfectas, solamente necesitan tener el deseo de ser perfeccionados.  Dios no mira qué llevas puesto, pues el mira tú corazón.  Así sucesivamente esta guía nos menciona cada detalle para que no seamos engañados por nadie.

Está en ti vivir de experiencias pasadas o renovar tu mente. Está en ti creer en quien dice mentiras o experimentar la verdad. Está en ti vivir para Dios o vivir para el mundo. Está en ti creer que todo lo malo pasa porque Dios es malo o porque el hombre no obedece a Dios. Está en ti continuar siendo esclavo o decidir ser libre.   Está en ti llenar tu corazón con cosas que lo destruyen o con las que lo fortifican. Está en ti criar a unos hijos adoradores de Dios o adoradores del mundo. Está en ti rendirte y dar todas tus cargas a quien por nosotros espera o continuar cargando lo que no puedes.  Si por décadas hemos visto al mundo deteriorarse por no tener a Dios presente  ¿no crees que es tiempo de tratar algo sobrenatural? Dios espera por cada uno de nosotros porque fuimos creados por Él.  Busca Su verdad y no la del hombre.  En fin…. ¡es tu decisión!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Many of us grew up in an environment where “Church” was just a Sunday word.  During the entire week the topics were school issues, sports practice drills, family situations, debts, and when Sunday arrived everyone was searching for the best attires to go to Church. The hard thing was what to wear because the neighbors always had new cloths or what would I give as offering if I only had coins that doesn’t complete a dollar. When we were out of Church we went to our homes following the same pattern mentioned above, just like robots! We became adolescents in that environment and when we had the opportunity to take our own decisions each one of us searched for something more fun to do than to sit in a place a Sunday morning where you only heard a “blah-blah-blah” of a person limiting us to do things and where a list of “DO NOT” was endless.  Do you identify with this? Many of us were rise with that distorted image of what a Church is.

Nowadays, there’s lot of people with that same distorted image.  Their mind takes them to remember what they were taught and still think that to visit a Church they must be saints, perfects or they don’t even care to go because they weren’t raised in that environment.  If this is your case, we have something to tell you:  The kind of person that makes you believe that’s what a Church is like, still exists!  The good news is that to identify those, God gave us a guide named Bible, where He mentions each one of the characteristics that kind people possess.  A Church is not a building, it is the people who compose it.  People doesn’t need to be perfect to go to a Church, they only need to have the desire to be perfected.  God will never judge you for what you are wearing, He sees your heart.  This guide shows every single detail so we don’t be fooled by nobody.

Is in you to decide to have your mind full of past experiences or to renew your mind.  Is in you to believe to who says lies or to experiment the truth by yoursef.  Is in you to live for the World or to live for God.  Is in you to believe that every bad situation happens because God is not good enough or to believe that every bad situations happens because men doesn’t obey God’s Word.  Is in you to continue to be a slave or to decide to be free. Is in you to fill your heart with things that destroy it or to fill it with things that fortify it.  Is in you to raise your children as World followers or to raise them Christ followers. Is in you to give up and put in the Almighty God’s hands your problems and situations or to continue carrying what you can’t.  If for centuries we’ve seen how the World deteriorates because of God’s absence in men… don’t you think is time to try the supernatural?  God is waiting for each one of us because He created us.  Find His truth and not men’s.  After all…. is your decision!

Love is more than a word

one says to the other.

Love goes away,

when nobody dares.

Love is more than just a dream

looking for the beauty of the other.

Love gives space for everything

also the night whose fortune flees.

Love is more than just a yes,

you once promised.

Love just exists.

It gives but doesn’t demand.

Love is more than just a game,

that’s played to be won.

Love us always to much

for the one who starts to love.

Love is more than just a song,

sang to the one you adore.

Love contains pain,

also if it succeeds today …

Within Temptation

Thus I feel your eyes upon me -
Caressing me gently with the warmth of intent.
Yet even as you press the grape of my own desires inhibitions
I already drink from the beauty
- Of your cup.

© Charles Coakley Simpson 2009