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Are you single? Are you married? Are you…?

abdurrosyid — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 09:21:37 +0000

In a western-style youngster-party, some guys and girls were enjoying their glasses of wine and bottles of whisky. They didn’t drink too much because they were warned by their parents not to get ‘wasted’. It’s just what they were used to doing on weekend: guys picked up their female friends – not always their girlfriends – and then those couples gathered and were ready for a party.

During the party, a guy approached an attractive girl. He hadn’t know her yet. But they were luckily being in the same place that night. After saying hello and having some introductory conversation, the guy asked: “Anyways, are you single?”

“Guess what?” replied the girl while she was smiling and slightly raising her shoulder.

I don’t want to continue telling you this imaginary story. But let me say that the guy certainly hoped that the girl was still single, and he would be disappointed to hear that she was not single. But don’t you know that ‘not single’ in their definition is not always ‘married’? Instead, they defined ‘not single’ as having special relationship to another person, that is not always marriage. Certainly, ‘not single’ can mean ‘married’, but they also would say that a girl is not single although she is unmarried, as long as she has a boyfriend. And, if a girl has just broke up with her boyfriend, she will be called ‘newly single’.

———————————–

In a muslim wedding party, many people gathered. They were invited to come to the party. Ahmad was standing among the crowd. He glanced around the party-room to see who were there. Suddenly he was surprised by the presence of a young man in the corner of the room. He could recognize him. He’s Ali, his old friend. He approached him and said salam to him. After some conversation, Ahmad asked Ali: “Are you still single?”

“No. Not anymore,” replied Ali.

I’m stopping telling you the story here. Now let me ask you what Ali’s answer means. I believe you will say that Ali was married, not single anymore.

————————————

In muslim society, the way of life, as well as the culture, is somehow different from that of the western or non muslim society. Islam forbids any muslim to have special relationship to the the opposite sex other than marriage – that is called dating. Islam forbids it because it can lead someone to commit adultery (zina) – one of the major sins. As a result, the term ‘not single’ in muslim society mostly means ‘married’, because being ‘not single’ and at the same time ‘unmarried’ will be interpreted as ‘bad behavior’.

For western or non muslim people, relationship status (a term used by Facebook) can be single, in relationship (that means having a boyfriend or a girlfriend), engaged, married, or divorced. Whereas for (good) muslims, all of the status are possible except ‘in relationship’ because ‘in relationship’ means dating that is forbidden.

Hey, this is not an extremist’s point of view. Dating forbidden is dating that leads someone to commit adultery. It includes khalwat (being with the opposite-sex without a mahram as the third person accompanying), touching, carressing, kissing, and ….. (you get it, guys). All those stuffs undoubtedly will lead someone to commit adultery.

———————————–

Unfortunately, now you can find dating not only in western or non muslim countries. You also can find it in muslim countries. In our country, Indonesia – that is the greatest muslim population around the world, it’s not hard to see couples of unmarried youngsters hanging out together on weekends. They are even not afraid or ashamed to kiss each other in public places – or probably do some stuff more than just kissing. Naudzubillah min dzalik!

———————————-

At last, I want to ask you something. If someone ask you whether you are single or not, what will you be eager to answer if you were allowed to lie? Do you want to answer that you are still single although you are married, or that you are already married although you are still unmarried, or you will answer honestly? Why am I asking you this question? I don’t know. I’m only curious. If you want to answer the question, just do it. But if you don’t want, I won’t force you. Take it easy, guys.

See the Texts

jimcouryadulterer — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:26:48 +0000

http://bayimg.com/image/kafflaach.jpg

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Infidelity: Danger Signs and Myths.

drgailsaltz — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:20:47 +0000

Here is a little information about infidelity.

Danger signs.

No one wants to believe a partner is cheating; unfortunately this sometimes means that you stick your head in the sand and ignore all the signs. The message becomes “go ahead and I won’t look”. So there may be continual cheating, and anger will slowly build until it erupts and makes repair even more difficult.

If you ignored the signs you are bound to feel more humiliated once you look back and realize they were there all along.

1. Acts distant
2. Works late hours
3. Wants less sex, or when has sex has new moves
4. Mentions some new person a lot
5. Is angry, or overly nice
6. Sudden interest in appearance
7. Has some new behaviors
8. You find yourself thinking a lot about how he would never cheat (this means it’s on your subconscious mind and you are being consciously defensive).

Cheating Myths:

Once a cheater, always a cheater

There is such a thing as the serial cheater, someone who, for his or her own psychological problems (who can’t tolerate being truly intimate) needs to keep moving from partner to partner. But this is more the exception than the rule. Most either cheat for long periods of time, or one-night stands, but not repetitively.

Cheating means your marriage is bad.

It can, but cheating often comes from some psychological conflict that is unresolved on the part of the cheater, i.e., a woman whose father rejected her may chronically cheat with older men to get approval of her father. An individual problem can cause cheating even when the marriage itself was in decent shape. Once the person has worked on the issue the marriage may be OK.

She was after him, so its not his fault.

Don’t blame someone else. The cheater is ultimately responsible for his or her own actions.

In order to get over it, you need to know every detail of the affair.

You need to know the “who”, “what”, “where” and “did you love her?” of the affair in order to have a packaged story that you can digest. But knowing how many times they did it, and which position, and which motel room is just going to feed the flame and make it more difficult to move on and forgive.

I can’t forgive if I can’t forget.

You won’t forget and frankly you shouldn’t forget because pretending it never happened could encourage it to happen again. But you can CHOOSE to forgive and need to make that a conscious decision if you want to save the marriage.

Rock Climbing

Jeremiah Ivins — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:11:43 +0000

Marriage is a risk. A risk like rock climbing. As one climbs the other belays. The one who is climbing must trust the one who is belaying, especially, when lead climbing. If one can’t trust the one who is belaying him/her then he/she would be safer just free climbing without protection because the risk of climbing with one who can’t be trusted or doesn’t care is much greater than climbing alone.

Climbing with someone who doesn’t care and/or can’t be trusted breeds fear because you have to focus not only on the rock but have to worry about the person you are climbing with. It creates frustration because falling and the ground are usually always the end result.

My marriage was such a lession in this principle. She said she wanted to go on this climb with me. She said she had the desire and ability to climb the route laid before us. She promised to have me when I would fall, or help guide me to handholds and footholds I couldn’t see. She said she would be there to encourage me at each move, especially at the cruxes, where a climber is either broken or made stronger.

I promised the same to her and kept those promises.

Most of the time the marriage was like climbing alone with a rope attached to one who wanted me to fail. Her control as belayer was not a desire to see the marriage grow and succeed, but to control for control alone.

I don’t know how many time I would make a move to reach a spot further up the climb, only to feel a violent tug on my harness, that would either prevent me from moving forward or would pull me off the rock.

Even though she told me to lead a decide the route her excuses were always the same- “I don’t want to go that way” or “You can’t make that move” or “That move is too risky”. She would then berate me for falling, telling me to get it together or it was my fault.

This was the cycle for most of the marriage. I always blamed myself and put the burden of responsiblilty on me. I thought it was me. It became frusterating failing at moves I know we could make.

Only now that she is gone do I realize the freedom of climbing alone, like before I met her. I don’t have to worry about being pulled off the rock. I am making moves with confidence that I couldn’t make being attached to her because she would keep pulling on the rope. Her brother once told her she was, “Hard on her men.” I now understand.

Her enjoyment was never in the climb itself or in her partner. Her satisfaction was in the control she got from pulling on the rope and seeing her partner fall.

I feel sorry for her because she has never experienced the joy of the climb itself – the satisfaction of making each move (especially at the cruxes of life), the growth of each risk that is taken, the encouragment of the climbing partner, and the exhileration of reaching the top.

Free climbing is good because it has reestablished the focus and confidence I had lost in a marriage that could only succeed my staying on the medicore ground of selfishness and apathy.

NSFW November: Lindsay Wagner, Miss November 2007

E. — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:14:03 +0000

Do not confuse Miss November 2007, Lindsay Wagner, with the 1970’s-era Bionic Woman star and mattress spokesmodel of the same name. This one hails from Nebraska and was a ring girl for the Omaha Fight Club (she’s not in it, so it’s okay for her to talk about it, I guess).

Photographed by Stephen Wayda

I think this may be the first Miss November we’ve seen with a total and complete lack of hair, you know, Down There. Gosh. Pubic alopecia in one so young (barely legal at the time of this shoot) is a tragic thing to see. Breaks the heart. Maybe next time you get a haircut, you could sweep it up and send her a little merkin? Just to keep her warm. Hardwood floors get cold in the winter, y’all.

This Lindsay can’t bend steel, but she’s got a straight right that will have you seeing stars. “We have an Omaha Fight Club,” she says, “and I’m a ring girl when my brothers compete. I don’t fight, but I train in self-defense and practice with a lot of guys.” (“Nebraksa Knockout,” Playboy, November 2007)

“I thought I’d never make Playboy in a million years,” Lindsay says. “I’m confident in the way I look, but you know how girls sometimes have the feeling they’re not good enough to accomplish something?”

I think a shade of that concern shows, but only a shade. I don’t know what these girls think that Playboy is, that they get so nervous. Unless it’s the money that freaks them out — I mean it is a big shot at some pretty good cash if you don’t blow it. I guess that could be spooky. Still, it’s not like a firing squad: it’s just a camera.

The only shot that I think in this spread has any merit, composition-wise, is the centerfold up top. It’s pretty hackneyed at this point to have the girl in men’s clothing like she has just come from raiding your closet, but it’s still cute. And she manages to make it look fresh. The best thing about all these pictures is that she has a nice smile and good eye contact. She doesn’t look frozen or fearful or dramatic. Just friendly and fun-loving. That’s appropriate for her age and how she’s been styled and sold in the interview. Good stuff all around, just not, like “great,” which is totally outside of her control. Her end of the quality is solid. And that is me being really strong and not crazy, because the truth is, she looks to me like my dear friendoh the Cappy’s ex, who you need to know is a no-good slack-cunted slagwhore cumdumpster, and I am battling to keep the strong association I have with her appearance out of my opinion of this nice girl, here, and be fair and not let my head get hot and melt my brain. (I get really, really protective of my friends, to the point that if I find someone has injured them in some way I can turn on that person on a dime *snap* and try to set them on fire with my thoughts.)

You can hit Ms. Wagner up on the myspace (current mood: “sad ” — that is no good at all, maybe you could send her a glittery graphic or something, okay?), but I cannot, as she breaks my Movie Dating Rule: she was born after the release of Mannequin (1987). She can throw me a wink in a couple years, when I’ve once more lowered my standards! I’m thinking next stop, The Sandlot (1993).

Ugh, thanks Playboy cover, for reminding me that, besides being a cheating fuckface in his sporting life, Barry Bonds is also a cheating fuckface off the diamond. He even bought That Woman a house in Scottsdale so he could boff her during spring training while his wife was home with their daughter. Meanwhile, he drug his first wife through a humiliating series of court battles to keep her from getting his earnings, which she wanted to continue to sock away in savings for the education of their two sons. Gar, what a dishonorable goddamned waste of a human being all around he is. Such potential, so many opportunities handed to him, and such terrible choices he has made. Terrible choices. That is so weak. Ugh! Now I’m in a bad mood.

Shamed English deputy fired and divorced admitting he had sex with a "spy"

wocview — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:59:27 +0000

Boris Johnson’s former deputy has admitted he fell for a beautiful spy when he was on an official visit to the Beijing Olympics.

Ian Clement met the a girl at an official party at last year’s opening ceremony.

They had sex in his Beijing hotel room – but Clement believes he was drugged and came round to discover his room had been ransacked.

The former deputy mayor of London told the Sunday Mirror it was a classic honey-trap. ‘I fell for the oldest trick in the book,’ he said today.

‘Before I went out I had to be briefed by MI6. They told me about honey-traps and warned me that the secret services often use women to entice men to bed to get information. I didn’t think for one minute that I would fall for it.’

The 44-year-old – who had a partner back in the UK at the time – was on a Government trip to build potential contracts with investors for the London 2012 Games and was accompanying Tessa Jowell.

Clement, who hid the whole affair from his boss Boris Johnson, was sitting just a few rows from then US President George Bush when the girl approached him. She gave him her card but when he got back to his hotel room that night she was waiting for him in the reception.

[Ian Clement admitted he fell for the honey-trap]

After a couple of glasses of wine he invited the woman to his room. ‘The next thing I knew I was waking up and she was dressed and leaving the hotel room. My wallet was open. She had plainly gone through it but I knew she wasn’t a simple thief because nothing was missing.’

He added: ‘I think we had sex but in truth I can’t remember. She must have drugged my drink.’

Clement was heavily involved in London’s Olympic bid and said the woman must have been hunting for plans and details of who he was meeting. He admitted he did not dare to tell bosses in London what had happened but insisted no one had been put at risk.

Clement was earning £127,000-a-year as London’s deputy mayor before he lost his job in June this year in a scandal over his expenses. He admitted five counts of fraud and was given a 12-week jail sentence suspended for 18 months.

He was also ordered to do community service and was spotted earlier this month painting toilets in Kent.

bron: www.dailymail.co.uk

The Words of Jim Coury

Sent 11/4/2009 11:28 EST

“Every day a smile for you “

11/4/2009 11:41a.m. EST

“u make my days so much brighter. It is a gorgeous day today. I think
I spelled that wrong. I love u honey. Can’t wait to see u.”

11/4/2009

“Hi babe – I’m trying to b good and wait till ur out of work but I cant.
I want u t know that I can’t get u out of my mind. My heart is
bursting. I want to make u happy. Our life together will b truth and
love.”

11/4/2009 4:44EST

“you just made my day! I am counting the days.”

Tiger: It's Getting Worse

blksista — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:35:37 +0000

Get this: I wish that I could tell the cops three times that I don’t want to talk to them when there’s been a major incident in my life. That’s what having big money–or living in Florida–gets you. Tiger Woods = buckshot shooter Dick Cheney.

I think him getting out of the house was a good idea. And that he didn’t put his hands on her. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a quiet resolution to whatever was eating at them at 2:00 a.m.

I’m not even going to say anything else except provide links. When Monday breaks, it’s gonna be hell. Everyone is now saying Tiger Woods has something to hide. Most probably the state of his face. If he looks like he’s been hit with ~~the ugly stick or~~ that golf club by his wife, Elin may go to the slammer for spousal abuse, and their marriage hits an unprecedented nadir. Fess up, stupid. Let the cops in and explain. If Elin has to be booked, then she has to. It’s way out there in the open now. TMZ has been running with the ball all weekend long. Fess up! Whoever is advising you is giving you bad, bad counsel. Speaking via your web page? Sheesh!

Steve Elling of CBS Sports says it’s way past time for the hangout route.

Tiger still stonewalling the cops.

Tiger to friend: “I have to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special” to placate Elin’s anger. When asked what that was, Woods’ replied, “A house on a finger.” Refer to Kobe Bryant’s rape case in Colorado and what he used to mollify his wife’s anger. A rock the size of the island of Hawaii, and could probably buy a slice of it as a down payment.

Party girl and serial adultress Rachel Uchitel runs to attorney Gloria Allred–of all people–for help. Oh, hell. You’ve got to be kidding me on this.

Some brothers in Maryland who run East Coast Bias suggests some plausible, and not so plausible explanations Tiger and his handlers could try out for size.

It’s gonna be one of those manic Mondays.

What Did God Mean by the 7th Commandment?

Carl Gobelman — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:15:24 +0000

The Ten Commandments

Question: What did God mean when he said, “You shall not commit adultery?”

Answer: Before we answer the question “what did God mean when he said, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’” we need to come to a definition of what adultery is. The dictionary defines adultery as: “Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.” The Bible would concur with this definition. In Leviticus 18:22, God told Moses, “And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbor’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her,” and in Deuteronomy 22:22, we find a similar definition: “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman.” It is clear from these definitions that this sexual union is consensual. What is not explicitly clear is whether or not both partners in this illicit sexual union are married. The biblical definitions prohibit a man from taking another man’s wife, but do not indicate whether or not the man is also married. Be that as it may, I think it is safe to say that if a person who is married willingly seeks a sexual encounter with another person, whether or not that person too is married, both people are guilty of committing adultery.

Now that we know what adultery is, let’s look at why God instituted this commandment. There are two reasons why God put forth this command. The first has to do with God’s original intention regarding marriage. If we look all the way back to the original creation account, we see that God establishes the institution of marriage as being between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; reiterated by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and parallel passages). God created marriage to be the building block of his creation and of society. Even after the fall (Genesis 3), marriage is still a sacred union and the foundation for society. In marriage, the full expression of the image of God (imago Dei) is made manifest as the man and the woman compliment and complete each other. The Bible also teaches us that marriage is the vehicle through which God designed the procreation of the human race and the preservation of godly offspring (cf. Genesis 1:28; 9:1; Malachi 2:15). With such a premium placed on marriage, it’s no wonder that God would seek to protect this union from defilement (cf. Hebrews 13:4), and thus the prohibition against adultery; which is the violation of the sacred marriage union.

The second reason for the commandment is found in Leviticus 18:1-5, which says:

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel and say to them, I am the Lord your God. You shall not do as they do in the land of Egypt, where you lived, and you shall not do as they do in the land of Canaan, to which I am bringing you. You shall not walk in their statutes. You shall follow my rules and keep my statutes and walk in them. I am the Lord your God. You shall therefore keep my statutes and my rules; if a person does them, he shall live by them: I am the Lord.”

As God’s chosen people, the Israelites were to reflect God’s character in the Promised Land. God commanded his people to be holy for he is holy (Leviticus 11:44), and part of holy living is sexual purity. God did not want his people emulating the behavior of the Egyptians, from whom he delivered them, nor did God want his people copying the behavior of the people into whose land he was bringing them. The implication was that adultery (and other sexual sins) were commonplace in the lands where the Israelites had been and were going to.

So now we know what adultery is and why God instituted this command. Finally, we need to learn what God meant by the command itself. As with all of the Ten Commandments, there are things we need to avoid doing (the negative part of the command) and things we need to be doing (the positive part of the command). The negative part of the command would seem relatively self-explanatory: Do not commit adultery. However, there is more to this command than the simple avoidance of extra-marital relationships. One can make the argument that wrapped up in this prohibition are all sorts of sexual sin (e.g., incest, fornication, homosexuality, etc.), and that argument can be made on the basis of chapters like Leviticus 18. More importantly, are things that would lead or tempt one to consider adultery, such as the unnecessary withholding of conjugal rights (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Jesus, in his Sermon on the Mount, made further clarification for this command (cf. Matthew 5:27-30) by including all kinds of lustful thoughts. The fantasizing of having sexual relations with someone is the same, in God’s eyes, as actually committing adultery. Therefore, we must avoid all things that would create within us lustful thoughts (e.g., suggestive songs, sensuous movies, pornography, etc.). We should also avoid immodest clothing or anything that might cause a brother or sister in the Lord to stumble in this area (cf. 1 Timothy 2:9; 1 Peter 3:3).

The positive part of the command would essentially entail doing the opposite of what the command prohibits: Chastity in body, mind, words and action. Keeping watch over what we take in with our eyes and the other senses. An attitude of temperance and self-control (i.e., moderation). Being discerning over the company we keep. Dressing modestly. Finally, fulfilling our marriage vows in regards to sexual relations and cohabitation. Regarding sexual sin, the Apostle Paul said it best when he said, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). When it comes to sexual sin, the best course of action is to flee! In other words, don’t think you can control yourself in a sexually charged atmosphere because sooner or later, your resolve will weaken; best to just avoid such situations altogether.

Adultery is the complete corruption of God’s good creation of marriage. Through the sin of adultery, Satan tempts us to seek sexual fulfillment in any and all avenues except the one avenue that God has ordained — within the bounds of monogamous, heterosexual marriage. Adultery rips at the fabric of society because it tears apart marriages and families, which are the building blocks of society. God’s law in general, and the 7th commandment in particular, is held up as the standard for Christian behavior.

The New York Legislature and the Lawyer of Love

bubikon54 — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:41:01 +0000

“Then I realized adultery’s wrong. So I told a tabloid.” Nicole Forrester, ecdysiast, friend of Josh Duhamel, husband of Fergie
“A lot of people ask me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I’m about $100,000 short.” Mickey Rooney
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” George Carlin

Ron Woods’ wife just divorced him for adultery? No way. And poor Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s wife claims he is engaging in “shamelessly trashy” behavior encouraging attractive showgirls to run for Parliament. Of course, that wasn’t an issue when he first met his wife by seeing her topless in a play called “The Magnificent Cuckold” in Milan. No Siree.
And another thing. These geniuses at the State Capitol think that they are doing something really important by amending Section 812 of the Family Court Act to apply to more and more persons, animals and criminal statutes. It wasn’t bad enough that §842 of the Family Court Act was amended to include “companion animals” as protected by Orders of Protection. That prompted the Powers that Be at the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence and OCA (Office of Confused Adults) to feverishly work on amending the forms for a Family Offense Petition to include the names of all animals in the home, guppies included, even if there is no such allegation of abuse. “Sorry, ma’am, but we cannot get you before the judge until you remember the name of your fifth Goldfish.” Then last year they expanded the list of potential respondents to include those in an “intimate relationship” even if not sexual in nature, but not a “casual relationship nor ordinary fraternization”, whatever that means. At least one court has held that you can use this statute to get an Order of Protection in 2008 even if the “intimate relationship” ended in 2006 since the statute does not have any time limits. Another has held that a wife having sex with a man other than her husband cannot claim she had an “intimate relationship” for an Order of Protection because “the State maintains an abiding interest in the sanctity of the marital relationship.” Since when?
Now we have new claims that can form the basis of a Family Offense, each defined in the Penal Law: Forcible Touching, Sexual Misconduct, Sexual Abuse in the Second and Third Degree. These crimes are usually more easily proven within the context of Harassment or Disorderly Conduct, which already exist in the law. Of course, my favorite part of this whole exercise in futility is Section 130.20(3) of the Penal Law (Sexual Misconduct) which prohibits a person from engaging sexual conduct with a dead human body. I’m just trying to figure out how that constitutes a Family Offense against a person related by affinity, consanguinity or an “intimate relationship”. Let me know if you figure it out. Oh, yeah, this law also now requires Attorneys for Children, nee Law Guardians, to undergo training in domestic violence, which MUST include the dynamics of domestic violence on child support. Of course, there is no statistical evidence that such training exists, works or is effective, but what the hell. Where do I sign up?
Mark you calendars. January 31, 2010. That’s the day when the CSSA $80,000 cap becomes $130,000 much to the relief of calculator salesmen and custodial parents. Using the nifty title of “The Child Support Modernization Act”, the “cap” of $80,000 has been increased to $130,000 and increasing that amount every two years thereafter by some Cost of Living Adjustment. As we all know, the cap is not really a cap at all. Just ask David Bean, who successfully convinced the Third Department that 17% of his $1,000,000 yearly imputed income was excessive so they lowered his “cap” to $500,000, pounding him for over $7,000 in monthly child support for one child plus maintenance and educational costs. Or how about David Quinn who had to pay over $8,000 a month for two children (plus maintenance) calculated as 25% of the combined income up to $80,000 and 8% of his entire income above that. Problem was, his income was $1.1 million. Even sportscaster Jim Nantz had to only pay $1,000 per month child support in Connecticut, even though he got dinged for $864,000 in yearly lifetime maintenance. The CSSA just requires a court to enumerate the reasons for utilizing the child support percentages in excess of the cap, which is really the combined parental income up to $130,000. And by the way, the court can go below the cap if it is found to be “unjust and inappropriate”. But absent some creativity by Support Magistrates, get ready to readjust your calculators for the new, improved $130,000 cap for at least the next few years. One wonders if anyone is going to skate on the $80,000 cap on January 30, 2010. Not likely.
Finally, a word about my favorite Illinois matrimonial lawyer: Corri Fetman, the Lawyer of Love. This buxom 42 year old has taken out a series of billboard ads with her body and that of her personal trainer in full salacious view with the words, “Life’s short. Get a divorce.” followed by her office phone number and website address. This was followed by a similar ad that proclaimed, “Take control. Get a divorce.” Sounds good to me. If you go to her website, you will find the following: “Corri Fetman bares all for Playboy. Corri Fetman will appear in the February 2008 issue of Playboy magazine and playboy.com on January 11, 2008.” Of course this was before she sued Playboy for the sexual harassment by one if its executives and they sued her for utilizing their copyrighted phrase “Lawyer of Love”. Stay tuned. And by the way, thanks for asking, but no you won’t see my pectorals on any billboards on I-90 or I-787 anytime soon.
Feliz Navidad, y’all.
Technically “companion animal” is defined in §350 Agriculture and Markets Law as any dog or cat, and shall also mean any other domesticated animal normally maintained in or near the household of the owner or person who cares for such other domesticated animal. “Pet” or “companion animal” shall not include a “farm animal” as defined in this section. Near the household?
KD v. SH, Bronx Family Court October 27, 2009, unreported as of yet.
Jessica D. v. Jeremy H., 24 Misc. 3rd 6634 (Fam. Ct. Madison Co., 2009)
Bean v. Bean, 53 A.D.3rd 718 (3rd Dept., 2008)
Quinn v. Quinn, 61 A.D.3rd 1067 (3rd Dept., 2009)
Fgalawfirm.com

Kobe Special

adamco — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:17:18 +0000

This keeps getting better and better. Here’s a quote from TMZ:

During the phone conversation on Friday, Tiger told his friend, “I have to run to Zales to get a ‘Kobe Special.’” The person on the other end of the phone asked Tiger what a “Kobe Special” was. The reply — “A house on a finger.”

[Looks like I've found a Hanukah present to petition for]

Trying to pull away from the affair

anothermistress — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 15:13:17 +0000

What I should have done, in hindsight, was start this blog a few months ago after reading other existing similar ones. But I didn’t for the simple reason that I didn’t want my affair to end. Fool that I was, I thought he would choose me. Now, I’m just on the verge on feeling my life rip into pieces, a process I could have started when the first big problems arose and I’d be, by now, if not healed then in the process of. If I’m honest, I still dont want this to be the end, but I absolutely cannot bear the heartache it causes me any longer. So here I am – taking those first steps…

I have been/still am (kinda) involved with a married man since last Christmas. Eleven months (most of them exciting, intoxicating and, at times, painful) down the line I think it’s coming to an end. Once and for all. I have been here before, but fell right back into his clutch again, far too willingly, on the previous occasions. Despite the fact that my heart aches for this man, this roller-coaster needs to stop and I need to get off.

I received one of his ‘I Can’t Do This Anymore’ emails this morning. This one feels different. The wording is very similar to those of the past, but I think the feeling in me is different. Instead of opening it and feeling my heart drop to the floor, wanting desperately to convince him round, I opened it and with pounding chest thought That’s it. I have responded, always do, but this time I kept it as brief as possible, telling him that I was shocked (I know, should have seen it, but I genuinely was), and I finished the email by wishing him well. The first task now will be to not log in eagerly tomorrow morning hoping he’ll have changed his mind – this one I think I’ll fail at. What I really want not to do is reply, to jump straight on that button and hash out a desperate, needy message begging him to change is mind, or to keep this open as ‘friends’. I want to be able to read the message and think ‘Ok’, then simply logout. Possibly dillusional, but I hope not.

So now I wait. Something I’m very familiar with. But, I don’t want to be the Other Woman any longer; this wait is for the end.

Jim aka JimBo aka James A. Coury

jimcouryadulterer — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:34:13 +0000

James Coury
844 Cornwall Ave.
Cheshire, CT 06410

Warning: Some of the writings of James A. Coury are lewd. By reading, You agree to hold harmless the site creator.

Adultery

unremarkablelife — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:00:19 +0000

It’s true. Aside from my one visit to a prostitute, I also cheated on my then fiancee. It was unintended and unrepeated. A works party was taking place and the drinks were flowing freely. I’d always had a kind of flirty relationship with one girl in the office, but I never took it seriously. You know the kind of thing I mean – we’d go shopping together and be gossipy and such. Some people probably thought I was gay.

Anyway, she’d had a lot to drink. Way too much. I was sat chatting to someone on my left when she came up and started dancing around me, giggling a lot. Then she moved herself so that thighs were straddling my knee. My hand was on my thigh. As I talked and I felt her slide herself along my leg, I realised to my shock that she wasn’t wearing knickers.

I could feel the wet heat on the back of my hand. I carried on talking, try to affect on air of cool that I didn’t feel. My cock was twisted in the material of my jeans and was pulsing with blood.

I pushed a knuckle into her cunt as I casually chatted. Feeling her juices and her muscles contracting as she worked her hips.

Later that night, I committed adultery with her. I fucked her in the gents’ toilets. Her sat on my lap, my trousers around my ankle, rocking backwards and forwards. Her eyes and mine were inches apart. I can feel my cock twitching even now when I think about it.

It was all my fault

anotherfalsestart — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:53:39 +0000

It was all my fault that I didn’t know you were married. I should have asked. It was all my fault th

Stressed and broke

anotherfalsestart — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:48:47 +0000

For three weeks I slept at my friend’s house. My job would not work with me on my hours and my husba

Tiger Woods is Creeping--That's the Reason for the Car Crash

blksista — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:01:09 +0000

That’s what TMZ.com is saying, that this whole thing is strictly domestic. Husband and wife argued about a third wheel–rumored to be Rachel Uchitel. Those lacerations on his face and head? All from Mrs. Woods–and her little golf club. Well, someone else in the family knows how to swing one…as The First Church of Tiger Woods as well as TMZ.com can also testify.

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol — that should happen this afternoon. But we’re told Tiger had a conversation Friday — with a non-law enforcement type — detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We’re told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We’re told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV — but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

We’re told Woods became “distracted,” thought the vehicle was stopped, and looked to see what had happened. At that point the SUV hit the fire hydrant and then hit a tree.

We’re also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the time.

Well, how have the mighty fallen. Here I was thinking that him focusing on his wife’s pregnancies was slowing up his game. It’s not that; it’s bouncing several blonde babes who nearly resemble each other at the same time that’s been screwing up his “A game.”

This is something even his cheating Creole daddy wouldn’t have been able to fix while alive.

What an idiot. Is that all it comes down to? Nooky on demand? He’s got everything, so what does he want now? The ruin of his career? Joining these other sad souls on the covers of People and National Enquirer full of money and power and unhappiness? It’ll fall away, Tiger. Everything will fall away if you don’t recognize this opportunity for what it is. Stop. Fcking. Around. Divorce Elin, remarry someone else or stay single. Or try something else to do other than golf.

Other white golfers have tended to keep their creeping under wraps or on page 14 of the sports page, couched in cryptic language. Or they’ve stuck with the same woman through creeping, children, moving around, and financial reverses. But not you, Tiger. There were already strong rumors before this happened that you were creeping. See, you’re a rock star. When people heard about the accident, it was like a thunderclap heard around the world. Nobody, except perhaps Obama, will get this kind of attention and concern. Even if you are losing on the course, you still have that rock star mantle. It’s a blessing, but now, it’s a curse. People won’t come to see you or buy your endorsed products if you keep on this way. Lorne Rubenstein of Canada’s The Globe and Mail says we’re all waiting for some answers.

Woods has the support of many sponsors, who pay him untold millions. They want to be associated with the 33-year-old winner of 14 major championships not only because he is a brilliant golfer – perhaps the best in history – but because of his image. They along with golf fans will want to know exactly what happened early yesterday morning in the darkness of the exclusive Isleworth community when Woods pulled away from his mansion.

The sponsors that will want to know – or one would think they would, and need to – include, among others, Nike, Upper Deck, Accenture, TAG Heuer, EA Sports, Golf Digest, Netjet, Gatorade, and Gillette. Meanwhile, Kim Montes, a spokesman for the Florida Highway Patrol told The Associated Press that police plan to ask Woods “everything.” First reports said nothing about that having happened, the explanation being that Woods was being treated for his injuries.

One thing is certain: PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem and the sponsors of every tournament in which Woods plays, must have nearly collapsed with worry when the accident was reported. He moves the dial like no other golfer, ever.

Woods was one of only two golfers ranked in the top 50 in the world who played in that recent Australian Masters, and some 25,000 spectators followed him every round. The Hong Kong Open on the same week had 12 players ranked in the top 50. Telecasts of the tournament showed very few people at the tournament.

My advice: Man up. Admit that you are having marital problems, then go into counseling with your wife. Decide whether to keep her and the children, or let her go with enough money to live the rest of her life in peace, and share custody. It doesn’t work to have a family and to continue being a playa when you’re on tour. In between, be with your little boy and little girl. That’s your living legacy. Find or reject religion or find comfort in family or friends who’ll tell you the truth, not what you want to hear. Get back to the basic reason why you love golf and what it does for you, and then spread that love around to your wife, children and other family members. Open up your life, Tiger. And above all, step on, but on a different path. Let this episode fade away for your sake. Don’t turn this into a donnybrook that every major gossip media outlet will rush to talk about to your detriment, and have folks shaking their heads. It’s up to you.

Cyberpath Techniques Compared - You Be The Judge

jimcouryadulterer — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 09:51:45 +0000

The cyberpath works to instill new behavior and attitudes in the victim.
The online predator trains to you behave in ways that he wants you to behave. He gradually makes you feel differently about yourself, and make you feel that everything you do, say or think – revolves around the cyberpath.

“Hi babe I’m trying to b good and wait till ur out of work but I cant. I want u to know that I can’t get u out of my mind. My heart is bursting. I want to make u happy. Our life together will b truth and love.”

“Remember what I told u, you have another home in Hamden. My wife NEVER goes there. When u get home I want u to have ur own key”

“I am counting down the days.”

“R U prepared to meet the challenges that lie ahead. It’s gonna get rough for u and me. I’m ready. Ur safety is first.”

“DONNA YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU HAVE MADE ME!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! Tell all your friends and loved ones”

“You are my girl and I am falling in LOVE with you.”

“You r the LOVE I’ve been missing for years.“

“Donna, have u ever felt like this before, having never met, never made love, just two people expressing their emotions. This has never happened to one before.”

“Hi Honey, I’m happy because you love me even though we never met, I’m sad because I’m sitting here by myself. I wish U were here. I am very concerned for U”

Erotic Hypnosis & Hypno-Seduction – The state of arousal is created to overcome resistance or, even better, to lead the victim of the seduction process to apparently take control of the situation, by performing the physical action ultimately desired by the seducer or the seductress.

“I can’t wait to shower with u so I can lather u up. Now use ur imagination.”

“We will make awesome love. We will talk and laugh. We will be HAPPY. I luve u.”

Seduction – Covert-aggressive personalities are adept at charming, praising, flattering or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and surrender their trust and loyalty.

The usual Cyberpath story line goes: “No one has ever really loved me, and certainly not my wife. She nags… doesn’t appreciate me… hates sex… too religious/ not religious enough… beats me/ beats kids/ kids beat me, etc…” (See: Beckstead, gridney aka Yidwithlid)

Women take this hook too often. …they will be able to make him “finally feel loved… listened to… appreciated.” His need is not “once and for all to be loved” as much as it is to get laid, be amused, play games and be distracted.

Liking, Ingratiation

Getting the prospect into a good frame of mind

“You make my day so much brighter. It is a gorgeous day today.. I Love u honey, can’t wait to see u.”

“Do u like candy. I luv candy. Chocolate is my favorite.”

Moral Appeal

This tactic entails finding moral common ground, and then using the moral commitments of a person to obtain compliance.

“Donna, it’s not just about looks. When u find someone that gives u hope, laughter, life and happiness. That to me is true love. Did I ever tell u I love ur name, Donna.”

“Donna I know I’m not wasting my time. I have never seen u but I already know ur gorgeous. U know I’m not in this just for the looks/sex. I’m here for the LOVE”

Negative Altercasting

Only a bad person would do Y.

“My wife just came home bombed. What a disgrace. Normally we would argue and call each other names, but not tonight. My kids and I just laughed at her. It’s really sad”

Positive Esteem of Others

Other people will think more highly of you if you X

“I asked one of my co-workers if it is possible to fall in LOVE with someone u never met? My guys said they have never seen me smile this much.”

“I think my kids R happy for me. This is all new to them. They don’t understand how 2 people say they luv each other when they have never met. That what makes it”

“You are one in a million. I luv u even more. Have u said anything to ur daughter yet.”

Positive Self-feeling

You’ll feel better if you X.

“Imagine when we are together. And yes, I’ll still respect you in the morning. Ur man, Jim”

“You don’t have any idea how hard it’s going to be having to wait to see you. U know when I see U what I’m going to say. Tell ur Mom, tell ur friends. U are special.”

A Cyberpath may be highly verbal about his relationships. He may share personal information in such a way that women mistake his sharing for emotional intimacy… He knows well enough that women are empathic to tales of empty and sad relationships…

A Sizzling Love Story

Vikram Karve — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 09:22:50 +0000

LOVE LUST DECEIT ELECTRICITY
Short Fiction

A Sizzling Love Story

VIKRAM KARVE

There is a saying: “ If you decide to murder your husband you must never act in concert with your lover ”.

That’s why I did not tell Raj.

Or involve him in any way.

Not even the smallest hint.

I made my plans alone and with perfect care.

An “accident” so coolly and meticulously designed.

Precisely at 12:50 in the afternoon, the ghastly accident would occur.

And then my phone would ring – to convey the “bad” news.

And suddenly I would be a widow.

Free.

Liberated from shackles.

Released from bondage.

Then all I had to do was to keep cool, maintain a solemn façade, and patiently wait for Raj to return after completing his project in Singapore.
Then after the customary condolence period was over, Raj would propose to marry me – an act of chivalry, of sympathy, or even “self-sacrifice”.

First I would demur, then “reluctantly” succumb to the pressure from my friends and relatives, and accept – just for my children’s sake.

There would be nods of approval all around.

And soon Raj and I would be Husband and Wife.

The phone rang.

I panicked.

There is no fear like the fear of being found out.

I looked at the wall-clock. It was only 10.30 am.

Had something gone wrong?

I felt a tremor of trepidation.

The phone kept on ringing – it just wouldn’t stop ringing.

I picked up the receiver, and held it to my ears with bated breath.

The moment I heard Anjali’s voice I felt relieved.

“Why didn’t you come to the health club?” Anjali asked.

I’m not well,” I lied.

“Anything serious? Should I come over?” she asked.

“No!” I tried to control the anxiety in my voice. “It’s a just a slight headache. I’ll take a tablet and sleep it off,” I said cautiously.

“I hope Manish and you are coming over in the evening,” Anjali asked.

“Of course,” I said and put down the phone.

I smiled to myself.

That was one party Manish was going to miss. Probably they would cancel it and would be right here offering their condolences and sympathy.

I would have to be careful indeed.

And to hell with the health club and the painful weight loss program. I didn’t need it any more.

Raj accepts me as I am – nice and plump and on the “healthier” side, as he calls me lovingly.

Not like Manish who is always finding fault with me.

I know I can always depend on Raj.

He really loves me from the bottom of his heart.

I looked at my husband Manish’s framed photograph on the mantelpiece.

Soon it would be garlanded.

My marriage to Manish had been a miserable mistake, but soon it would be over and I would be free to live the life I always wanted.

I wish I didn’t have to kill Manish, but there was no way out – Manish would never give me a divorce, and if he came to know about me and Raj, he would destroy both of us, ruin our lives; for he was a rich and powerful man.

Also, I prefer to be a pitied widow rather than a stigmatized divorcee.

The plan was simple.

I had programmed a Robot to do the job.

The huge giant welding robot in Manish’s factory.

At exactly 12:45, when the lunch-break started, Manish would enter his pen drive into the robot control computer to carry out a maintenance troubleshooting check.

And then he would start inspecting various parts of the robot – the manipulator, end effectors and grippers – to cross-check their programmed movements.

It was a routine exercise, and I knew Manish had become quite complacent as the robot had never developed any faults so far.

But today it would be different.

Because I had surreptitiously reprogrammed the software last night.

This is what was going to happen.

At precisely 12:50 all safety interlocks would be bypassed, and suddenly the robot would activate and the welding electrode would arc 600 Amperes of electric current into Manish’s brain.

It would be a ghastly sight – his brain welded out and his body handing like a pendulum, lifeless. Death would be instantaneous.

Manish had been a fool to tell me everything and dig his own grave. A real dope – he deserved it!

It was a foolproof plan and no one would suspect since the program would erase itself immediately. I had ensured that. It would be an accident, an unfortunate accident.

Condolences, compensation, insurance – soon I would be a rich widow, with one and all showering me with sympathy and compassion.

And then I would wait for Raj to come back from Singapore.

And then, after a few days I knew he would propose to me, and I would ‘reluctantly’ accept and we would live happily ever after.

I looked at the wall clock. It was almost 11 O’clock.

Suddenly I began to have second thoughts. Maybe I should give Manish a last chance.

All I had to do was pick up the phone and ask Manish to rush home.

Feign a sudden illness or something.

But no! I tried to steel my nerves. I had crossed the Rubicon, and there was no going back. The tension of waiting was unbearable, but I must not lose my head.

I tried to divert my thoughts to Raj.

The first time I suspected that Raj loved me was when he didn’t attend my wedding. Then he disappeared abroad for higher studies and I almost forgot him. And one fine day, after almost fifteen years, Raj suddenly reappeared to take up a job in my husband’s factory.

And when I learnt that Raj had still not married I realized how deeply in love with me he was.

At that point of time I was so disillusioned with my marriage that my daily life was rather like sitting in a cinema and watching a film in which I was not interested.

Raj and I began spending more and more time together, and somewhere down the line emotions got entangled and physical intimacy followed.

Did Manish suspect?

I do not know.

Was that the reason he had sent Raj to Singapore?

I don’t think so.

We had kept our affair absolutely clandestine.

I looked again at the clock.

11.45 am.

One hour to go.

I began to have a feeling of dread and uneasiness, a sort of restlessness and apprehension – a queer sensation, a nameless type of fear.

So I poured myself a stiff drink of gin.

As I sipped the alcohol, my nerves calmed down.

Today was the last time I was going to have a drink, I promised myself.

Once I married Raj I would never drink – there would be no need to.

In my mind’s eye I could almost visualize my husband Manish sitting in the vacant chair opposite getting steadily drunk every evening.

Manish was an odd creature with effeminate mannerisms that became more pronounced when he was drunk.

He was always picking at an absurd little moustache, as though amazed at himself for having produced anything so virile.

How I hated the mere sight of him.

The very thought of my husband made me gulp down my drink.

I poured myself one more drink and gulped it quickly to steady my nerves. Then I had one more drink; and one more, when my cell-phone rang.

I shook out of my stupor and picked up my mobile phone. It was an unknown number. I rejected the call.

The cell phone rang again; same number. I looked at the number. 65….. – it was from Singapore.

Was it Raj? From Singapore? My heart skipped a beat. I answered urgently.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hi Urvashi, how are you?” it was Raj’s voice.

“Where are you speaking from? Is this your new number?” I asked.

“No. This is Rajashree’s cell-phone,” Raj said.

“Rajashree?”

“Yes, Rajashree, she wants to talk to you,” Raj said.

“Hi Urvashi,” a female voice said, “Raj has told me so much about you.”

It was strange.

Who was this Rajashree?

I knew nothing about her!

So I said, “But Raj has told me nothing about you!”

“I know,” Rajashree said, “it all happened so suddenly. Even I can’t believe it could happen so fast – Love at first sight, whirlwind romance, swift wedding.”

“Wedding?” I stammered, shocked beyond belief.

“Yes. We, Raj and I, got married yesterday and we are on our way to our honeymoon, on a cruise liner.”

“You bitch! Give the phone to Raj,” I shouted, losing control, the ground slipping beneath me.

“Hey, chill out. What’s wrong with you?” Rajashree said calmly, paused for a moment, and spoke, “Raj has gone to the embarkation booth. Hey, he’s waving to me. I’ve got to go now. Bye. We’ll see you when we come there.” And suddenly she disconnected.

I stared at my cell-phone, never so frightened, never so alone.

I felt as if I had been pole-axed.

I looked at the wall-clock.

12.55.

Oh, My God!

The deadline of 12.50 had gone.

It was too late.

My blood froze.

The telephone rang.

I picked it up, my hands trembling.

“There’s been an accident, madam,” said the voice. It was the company doctor. “We are rushing Manish Sahib to the hospital. I am sending someone to pick you up.”

“Hospital? Tell me the truth,” I shouted hysterically into the phone, “Tell me, is he dead?”
“No. He’ll survive.”

Manish did survive.

I wish he hadn’t.

For his sake. And for mine.

For till this day he is still in coma.

And I know I will have to live with a ‘vegetable’ husband all my life.

It was a small miscalculation.

600 Amperes wasn’t enough.

But then the Robot is a machine.

My real miscalculation was about Raj.

LOVE LUST DECEIT ELECTRICITY

Short Fiction

A Sizzling Love Story

VIKRAM KARVE

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
vikramkarve@sify.com

http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com

Love never fails...

Jenn — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:45:45 +0000

As I’m sitting here typing this blog, I’m thinking of the men and women out there silently suffering now. Can it be more evident when I sit here typing this to you and he’s in the other room playing Assassins Creed II and drinking beer, that we’re living two separate lives?

Perhaps you’re living a life of an unequally yoked spouse? Or is your marriage that of an absent spouse, merely the person sharing a bed? I know of men that have been victims to the same abuse from women, men are not immune from adulterating wives, both genders suffer. Love is fleeting on both ends, but in this case, I’m speaking from my heart and my experiences, so bear with me…

As we all meet and greet members in our church, I wonder behind how many smiles is there a soul crying out? A heart whispering, “please help me?” Is the hug you gave in passing to a friend the only one she’s had in weeks? The uplifting words you share, are those the only ones she knows? Tell me there isn’t a soul in your small group going through the same loneliness, rejection or even blatant abuse as possibly you?

Most of us know 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”.

Love never fails…as you read that maybe you believe as I did, that love did indeed fail you!

My first marriage was one destined to fail, I married young and without any knowledge of what it was like in the “real world”. I loved my husband, but the rush of it was to escape my adopted parents (aunt and uncle). Though I was already a legal adult, I was still a child seeking to do the right thing, I was very much trapped there.

Growing up in their home, my sister and I endured many hardships. I can remember every time seventh period came around I was literally sick to my stomach, “what would happen today, it’s friday, two days to go”. When my peers were talking about their plans for the summer I was already hoping the next school year would come quickly! I was the older sister, I loved my sister dearly and wanted to protect her, I tried to please them however I could, including going downstairs so my uncle could molest me.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard the song by Amy Grant, Ask Me, Heart in motion CD,

I see her as a little girl hiding in her room
She takes another bath and she sprays her momma’s perfume
To try to wipe away the scent he left behind
But it haunts her mind.

You see she’s his little rag, nothing more than just a waif
And he’s mopping up his need, she is tired and afraid
Maybe she’ll find a way through these awful years to disappear…

I was in sixth grade when I heard this song and realized I was that same girl. I have always been a bit of a fire cracker and called him out on it, with manipulation on his part and my aunt’s physical, verbal and emotional abuse I would always apologize and come back to him. I was almost sixteen before I ever admitted to a friend what was going on and even then after CPS and the courts got involved I recanted the truth in order “to save the family”. I shake my head today at my childhood and most of my life!

I was a Christian, I knew Jesus and I knew He was keeping me through all this. But I definitely had a lot of growing up to do and I was very naive. I expected the man I married to be a born again Christian, well, when my ex-husband got saved, we took off for Vegas! I believed that since we were both “saved” we would live a “happily ever after life”.

The beginning was a beautiful story of hope and perseverance but things did not last that way for long. You see a few weeks into our marriage I received cashiers checks from my aunt and uncle, some of my parents life insurance policy and law suits from the car accident. We had a nice home, new cars and it was all paid for with plenty invested for the future of our family. Yet, this was all too much for him, before I knew it, there were men in our master bathroom (I was sleeping in my bedroom) and they were all getting high.

This is when his true colors came out and the “saved” man I knew was long gone! My husband was an alcoholic, druggie and if you got in his way abusive. He never admitted to any affairs but he always disappeared to the most happening clubs, (we still lived in Vegas) and there was plenty for him to do! I wasn’t twenty-one, so I couldn’t go out looking for him, he’d disappear friday nights and appear at his work by monday morning, then he just quit working all together. I remember freaking out in the beginning, calling all the hospitals, the jails praying he would answer my calls, that he was alright!

I can remember taking a huge stand against this lifestyle but I had no strength, no support, I was so young and confused. I kept praying, “Lord, change him” and how I read 1 Corinthians 13 over and over and maybe I just wasn’t loving him enough, I’d wonder. In time I finally succumbed to the darkness all around me and I found myself dabbling in the same things as he.

It was one day that a camcorder was pulled out at a party and I saw it the following day, sober, I saw myself! Lost, depressed, I saw death…behind the laughter and idiocy, I knew the truth, and I gave him the chance to follow me or stay. I left him several times and many ”changes” before I finally filed divorce. I can remember laying on my bed holding the finalized divorce papers tears rolling down still in shock, heartache and devastation. What had happened to us, how had we gotten here? I even asked him, what I had done wrong, “you were too nice” he said.

Well, at this point I was serving in the Air Force and had to keep going, really in the military you don’t get the option to stay home and mope around, there’s a mission, so get up and do it! I had believed strongly in sexual purity, and even though I felt unclean from the sexual abuse as a child, I knew I was a virgin and had saved myself for my husband. What had he done with it? Well, even though he denied all the affairs, he had his girlfriend living in our home while we were married and I’d always find or hear of what was really going on. With him everything was a secret and a lie, if he didn’t respect me and I had waited for him, why would anyone else? With that, I threw my convictions aside and hoped someone would care, I didn’t expect love at this point, why would I, afterall hadn’t everyone in my life taken what they wanted anyway?

I jumped into a couple of relationships vowing never to marry again, never to set my heart at the altar to be broken again! What is the saying, “never say never?”

We were living in sexual sin, I needed a room-mate to help me with rent, his lease was up and he moved in, made sense financially, I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t pay much attention to that. Well, before you knew it, I was pregnant, followed directly by a miscarriage. Before all this baby stuff we had already broken up once, he liked drinking and I was not choosing that willingly for my life. But he was so charming, so slick, after the miscarriage, a dozen roses and a will you marry me? Really? After the miscarriage, I definitely thought, this was a great opportunity for him to leave, but here he was wanting to marry me? Needless to say, we got married and my beautiful son was on his way before I knew what had happened!

He promised when Noah came along things would change, he’d quit drinking and smoking, this was his last “hoorah”. I can remember one night when he was drunk and I was out of patience, standing over his side of the bed and pregnant, he backhanded a beer bottle and it smacked my stomach, how I prayed Noah would be fine. Well, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, Noah’s two years old now. I’d like to tell you things are different that he kept his promise, he quit drinking and smoking, that we are a perfect little family. That would again be, the fairytale ending I so desperately would love to tell you, but the truth is he is the same.

After a tour in Iraq I was sure, after seeing life and death, having his life threatened, that he would come back to G-d! No, actually he came home more angry and abusive. Very forceful and controlling of everything. We’ve had many altercations where he’s grabbed me, or pinned me down, cornered me so that I can’t get away, and I will admit I’ve even fought back, which he uses still against me. It’s just like childhood again, except I’m an adult, I have free will to leave, and here I am remaining, hoping G-d will grab him up!

You see when I was pregnant with Noah we attended a service and the pastor asked, “are you ready to walk”. Yes I was, I was sick of all the anger, hate, and trash I was holding in and allowing to eat me up. I was tired of carrying it all on my own and I wanted better for my child. I wanted a Christian home with loving parents, I wanted him to have everything I had dreamed of. I looked at my husband and said, “are you ready?” and the answer was “no”.

Three years later we’re still here at the same place, or rather, I’m walking, well, no I’m running forward, to our Lord, I’m teaching my Noah about all the great gifts our Lord has for Him, His love and mercy! I’m wondering when my husband will be ready, will he ever walk with us? I can tell you so many times I’ve been ready to leave, to take Noah and start our lives new, a healthy and happy home, and I share this with my husband and do you know his answer, “I know”. “I know”, does that mean you don’t care, that you want us to leave? What does that mean? I walked him through the sinner’s prayer almost a week ago, in hope, prayer and supplication that there would be a radical change, that I would see Jesus in him, and yet, no change.

So, as I pray, I keep saying, Lord, what should I do? Do you still hold me to this loveless marriage? In another marriage of alcohol, abuse and adultery? Lord, are things going to change here, or is it time for Noah and I to leave? I feel a great responsibility to remove Noah from this situation, look at my childhood, can you understand why? Yet I still feel that G-d can save this marriage, G-d can do a work in him!

For now, I just keep giving it back to Him, keep praying, keep fasting, keep offering my husband back to Him, asking to see His way, asking to know what to do. I have hope in Jesus and complete trust, whatever it is, I know my Lord has carried me through the clutches of hell and brought me through and back to Him. I know man’s love may be failing, may be for a season, but I now know that I seek His love and not that of a man.

Matthew 5:3-11

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.”

You see my friends, the Lord sees our hearts, He knows our pains, give Him your burdens, allow Him to carry you through, one day at a time and you’ll be amazed where He’ll take you. May you be found blameless before our Lord, seeking His ways and in Him may you find His blessings!

Why Fi-delity? - SK Sermon Preview for 11/29/09

jgordonduncan — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:03:03 +0000

Faithfulness is a virtue not easily attained or experienced in this world. For example, according to a poll by the Associated Press, 90% of Americans think infidelity within a marriage is wrong yet so many spouses have affairs. Because of the inherent secrecy of an affair, no one knows what percentage of spouses are unfaithful. Some stats say 22% of men and 14% of women have cheated, but undoubtedly, those numbers are higher.

Interestingly enough, so much of Old Testament language speaks to adultery. However, in the biblical picture, God is the faithful spouse and Israel or the children of God are the unfaithful spouse. In God’s economy, any sin committed by the people of God is the equivalent of adultery. For example, Jeremiah 3.20 says

“Surely, as a treacherous wife leaves her husband, so have you been treacherous to me, O house of Israel, declares the Lord.’”

In addition, the entire book of Hosea plays out this imagery of faithfulness and unfaithfulness. In chapter 2 God says that Israel has played the harlot with pagan nations, worshiping other gods. He describes their actions in this way

For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.’

Basically, the people of God said, “Show me a good time, give me something to drink, and we’ll gladly leave our God.”

Later in that section, God calls His sinning, unfaithful people a bunch of names that are a challenge for me to read in a room full of children. Yet there is hope as in Hosea 2:14 He says

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. 15 And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

God promises to go and woo back His adulterous people. He will restore them to all that they had before and they will return just as they did in the days when God rescued them from slavery in Egypt. Now that is faithfulness. God’s people abandon faithfulness and adulterously worship other gods, and the one true God goes and woos them back restoring them to full fellowship and love as if nothing ever happened.

Don’t we all wish for a love that faithful? Well, this week in the book of Romans, Paul is going to make the case for God’s faithfulness not only to the physical Israel of the Old Testament but also to the Israel of the New Testament, His church. So with that in mind, let’s ask this Big Picture Question at Sovereign King this week:

Big Picture Question: How is God more faithful than any idea of faithfulness that you have ever conceived?

If you would like to join us for worship, we gather each Sunday at 10:30am, and you can find directions to our space at http://www.sovereignkingpca.net/1.2.html

LADLAD party list and Comelec: Some scriptural reflections on the real meaning of discrimination

Quirino M. Sugon Jr — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:59:56 +0000

I. Comelec, CHR, and LADLAD

A group of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders (LGBT), led by Danton Remoto, an English professor in Ateneo de Manila University, asked the Commission on Elections to approve as a Party List their group named LADLAD, a Filipino word which means “public display of homosexuality”. The Comelec, led by the presiding commissioner Nicodemo C. Ferrer, dismissed the petition on moral grounds:

Petitioner should be denied accreditation not only for advocating immoral doctrines but likewise for not being truthful when it is said that “it or any of its party list representatives have not violated or failed to comply with laws rules and regulations relating to the elections.”

Furthermore, should this Commission grant the petition, we will be exposing our youth to an environment that does not conform to the teachings of our faith. Lehman Strauss, a famous bible preacher and writer in the U.S.A., said in one article that “older practicing homosexuals are a threat to the youth.” As an agency of the government, ours too is the State’s avowed duty in Sec. 13, Article II of the Constitution to protect our youth from moral and spiritual degradation.

We are not condemning the LGBT, but we cannot compromise the greater number of our people, especially the youth.

(Scrbd article. Note page 6 is missing. This page contains I think the Oct. 2, 2008 detailed comment of the Comelec).

The LADLAD complained that this is gender discrimination. And the Commission on Human Rights supports their claim:

CHR said however that the poll body’s decision “smacks of prejudice and discrimination.” “There is or can be no basis in law to deny the registration of the party, directly or indirectly, on the grounds of homosexuality, much less on homosexuality equated to immorality. To make assertions based on their homosexuality is patently discriminatory,” she said. “Homosexuality is not a counterculture. It is part of the diversity of Philippine culture. Homosexuals are part of the Filipino family and unavoidably must be part of our politics,” CHR chair Leila De Lima was quoted in the statement as saying. “There is no governmental policy which characterizes homosexuality as illegal nor immoral,” De Lima said. (ABS-CBN)

II. Discrimination in Scriptures: Clean and Unclean, Holy and Profane, Good and Evil

Discrimination has been defined as something bad, so that we have now invented phrases like racial discrimination, gender discrimination, and age discrimination. These things should not happen, modern society says. We must not discriminate.

But let us consider the etymology of discriminate and discrimination:

Discriminate.1620s, from L. discriminare “to divide,” from discrimen, derived n. from discernere (see discern). The adverse (usually racial) sense is first recorded 1866, Amer.Eng. Positive sense remains in discriminating (adj.) “possessing discernment” (1792).

Discrimination. 1640s, “the making of distinctions,” from L. discriminationem, noun of action from discriminare (see discriminate). Especially in a prejudicial way, based on race, 1866, Amer.Eng. Meaning “discernment” is from 1814.

To discriminate is to divide, to make distinctions, to discern. If you read the book of Genesis, you will see that God is discriminating: God placed order in chaos by separating light from darkness, day and night, heaven and sea, sea and land, animals and fishes, plants and birds, male and female. Creation can never be accomplished without discrimination. And God said that it is good.

If you read the book of Exodus and Leviticus, you will see that God gave a precise rules for determining whether something is clean or unclean. Thus Israelites have all these rules regarding water potability (don’t drink a cup of water if an insect falls on it), food (carnivores and and non-fishes cannot be eaten), leprosy (suspected lepers are quarantined), etc.

Why all these rules for clean and unclean? Moses said to Aaron:

You must be able to distinguish between what is sacred and what is profane, between what is clean and what is unclean; you must teach the Israelites all the laws that the LORD has given them through Moses. (Lv 10:10-11)

Thus, the laws to distinguish clean and clean are laid out as a pedagogical tool to help the Israelites to know what is sacred and profane. If you are a teacher, you will first teach students the arithmetic rules like 2 apples + 3 apples = 5 apples before you teach them the algebraic rules of 2x + 3x = 5x. You first start with something concrete, then you go to something abstract. Since God is a good teacher, he first teaches Israelites clean and unclean things and actions, then He teaches them why Israel is a holy nation and not like the other nations, why the priest is holier than the levites, why the Bread of the Presence and the Ark of the Covenant are holy, etc. Material to Spiritual. This is the divine pedagogy.

After teaching the distinction between clean and unclean, holy and profane, Moses commanded Aaron to teach all the laws that God has given them through Moses. This is the third step: moral. What is good? What is evil? These questions are answered by the Ten Commandments.

The sixth and ninth commandments are “Though shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” On these two laws we can group all the sexual sins and among them are on homosexuality:

You shall not have carnal relations with your neighbor’s wife, defiling yourself with her. You shall not offer any of your offspring to be immolated to Molech, thus profaning the name of your God. I am the LORD. You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination. You shall not have carnal relations with an animal, defiling yourself with it; nor shall a woman set herself in front of an animal to mate with it; such things are abhorrent. (Lv 18:20-23)

Notice that adultery, abortion, homosexuality, and bestiality are enumerated together. Adultery and abortion are the ones that will result if the Reproductive Health Bill pushes through; homosexuality if LADLAD becomes a Party List; and bestiality will not be far behind.

And God said:

Do not defile yourselves by any of these things by which the nations whom I am driving out of your way have defiled themselves. Because their land has become defiled, I am punishing it for its wickedness, by making it vomit out its inhabitants. You, however, whether natives or resident aliens, must keep my statutes and decrees forbidding all such abominations by which the previous inhabitants defiled the land; otherwise the land will vomit you out also for having defiled it, just as it vomited out the nations before you. Everyone who does any of these abominations shall be cut off from among his people. Heed my charge, then, not to defile yourselves by observing the abominable customs that have been observed before you. I, the LORD, am your God. (Lv 18:24-30)

If Filipinos do not wish to vomited out of the land called the Philippines, God says that we must never do these abominations. God is faithful to his promises. Let us reject the Reproductive Health Bill and not allow LADLAD as a Party List.

So is the Comelec discriminating towards lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders (LGBT) in LADLAD? Yes, Comelec is indeed discriminating, because God Himself is discriminating. We must purge the evil in our midst.

A New Man

Derek Guyer — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:02:02 +0000

Over the last several months, Lisa and I have been serving a local couple who have deeply been hurting. A local church sent them to us, and we’ve been fighting for them like crazy. The husband’s affair was ripping the family apart, but through the love of Christ, the wife held on. She loved him even when she wasn’t herself loved by him. She extended the love of her Father to her husband in amazing form and is winning the battle.

Her husband, Rob, is fighting. After a year of obsessing over the other woman, he’s realizing the depravity of his life without Christ. He’s been a slave to his master, the devil, for so long, but the chains are coming off. I heard freedom and peace in his voice for the first time ever last night. I felt like I was talking to a new man.

For all of you who believe your situation can’t be overcome, you are wrong. According to the apostle Paul and my brother-in-Christ, Rob, “We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.” Rob is overcoming. Rob is an overcomer.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Ezekiel 36:26 NIV

Divorce

anotherfalsestart — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:46:51 +0000

Our relationship has come to an end. I’m glad the pain will be over soon, I’m not keeping you as a f

This blog is rated R for real

sabinspirations — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:01:47 +0000

(I wrote this last week but scheduled it to post today. It’s a response to Oprah’s show on Pornography)

Earlier this week I watched the Oprah Winfrey show and was greatly saddened that she decided to do a show on pornography. Sadly she featured a very famous porn star on her show! Even sadder is that many knew who this woman was, me included even though I have never looked at pornography (on purpose). I know that Oprah’s show is supposed to be informative and I guess there is some merit in knowing about this side of life, but more than that what really grieved me was the claim that pornography had gone “mainstream”. The emphasis of the show is that because of the easy access on the internet women are indulging in porn more than ever before. This show was clearly glamourized.

The interesting thing is that I had just watched another show and the emphasis was on the dangers of the sex industry. And that show reminded me of this ex-porn star who has a ministry to those in that industry and helps them to get out of it.

The truth of the matter is, it is what goes on behind the scenes that is what people need to focus on. While people are caught up in a world of fantasy while watching this stuff, the “actors and actresses” are being torn apart spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically.

This blog is a clarion call to any person who professes Christ and is addicted to porn (male or female) to let go of the addiction. And even if you’re not a Christian it’s important to know the TRUTH about pornography and porn stars.

Watching pornography is a sin. It destroy marriages and families. It’s not for educational purposes (a Christian once told me that). It’s on-screen fornication and or adultery and it’s detrimental to your spirit and your relationship with God.

I’ve enclosed a link to Shelley Lubbens website. She ministers to those in that industry. Warning though. It gives some slightly graphic descriptions of what goes on in that industry. But after you read it, you may throw out your tapes and block that junk from your computer.

Job 31:1:

1 “I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look with lust at a young woman.

www.shelleylubben.com

This second link is to help people maintain integrity on the computer.

http://www.covenanteyes.com/

This third link is a sermon called Lust Lessons

http://sermon.net/prevailingwordm/sermonid/16658