Our respected Shaykh hafizahullah will inshallah be speaking at the following events this week. Please try to attend, encourage others to attend also, and pass the message on.

Friday Tazkiyah Programme

Date: Friday 27th November
Time: 6.55 pm
Venue: Islamic Da’wah Academy, 120 Melbourne Road, Leicester, LE2 0DS 

Tuesday English Majlis

Date: Tuesday 1st December
Time: after Eshaa Salaah (8.15 pm)
Venue: Islamic Da’wah Academy, 120 Melbourne Road, Leicester, LE2 0DS 

Listen to the Programmes at the IDA live at www.idauk.org

A married man is authentically the happiest when he is with his guy friends watching a league final match on HDTV over chilled Budweiser and chicken wings. Thats when men become boys and the spirit of mirth and mayhem reigns supreme.

After downing a couple, the always so unfunny Venkatapashupathi transforms into a sensational standup comic – regaling the audience with his astute observational comedy; the dashing Eric launches into a spirited  & undeniably exotic macarena dance and song (admirably supported by me, Vijay, Suresh).

Rishi in his trademark white vest – is always the designated cook & bartender. He gets high and in his endeavour to copy Tom Cruise in the movie Cocktail promptly smashes 4-5 of my costly wine glasses.That also gets him great applause and pat on the back.

Game over, the boys cull out the music to be ripped for the evening. The music genre is heavily dependent on the outcome of the match – if India wins progressive rock and metal with extended guitar play become the flavor, whereas if India looses its jazz of Norah Jones, Van Morrison kind.

This blog is about a similar rambunctious evening.

That night India lost the game by a whisker and the men were silent, lost in the intricate slide guitar work of Gary Rossington while he rendered “Freebird”  on my Onkyo HT and perhaps reflecting on mundane things like ”how to drive home avoiding cops while still drunk”, “my boss is a jerk” and the EMIs to more esoteric thoughts about business plan for a micro-finance venture, Service Oriented Architecture  and ways to save the Tiger from extinction.

The CD moved on to one of my all time favourite songs – “Days” by the Kinks. Somehow this song always makes me cry. Ray Davies wrote this song in his typical bittersweet fashion. It addresses a former lover who has left. This person is thanked for the days together, and forgiven for the departure. The lyrics reflect on the lasting effect the person has had, and promise “Though you’re gone, you’re with me every single day, believe me.” Truly the best love songs are sad love songs.

Women. How they impact men. Women are miracles, they are the catalyst for everything under the Sun. They are complicated. Very complicated.

My thoughts changed to my fiery Italian American girlfriend who for the last 3-4months was acting more as a wife than a girlfriend. She had become overbearing, over sentimental and overtly paranoid. Was I eating well? Was I driving safe? Was I stressing myself too much at job? Was I going out too much with friends? Did my friend circle include a lady friend? Was this lady friend single? So what did I buy for her? Your mom would be happy to have an Indian girl for her son – isn’t it? So are you getting married to her? Why did you play a game on me Ranbir? I knew you never cared for me! Oh Ranbir – I love you so much! Why are you not talking to me each single moment you are awake? Don’t you like me anymore?

Those were a set of complicated questions. They were complicated because they were purely hypothetical and didn’t have any logical basis. Why do women think about their men 24/7??? Obviously when they were compulsively focussing their energies on a single thing forever, they were apt to come out with their own conspiracy theories (as my GF was)!

As the track changed to “Whipping Post” by the Allman Brothers, I asked my buddy friends a question. Who was the boss at home? Were they happy in their marriage? In my group, I am the only single guy and the youngest. Down here I am writing down verbatim the advices given by my friends about wives and marriages in general and time tested tactics for men to survive them.

Who is the Boss in the relationship? Why do I feel that my girlfriend (still not the wife) is always making her points and I am just listening? Vijay, Eric, Tushar and Suresh gave a knowing chuckle when they heard that observation. Of course your wife if the boss! Or if you want to feel good, you have made your wife the boss. Your wife could either be a homemaker or a career woman. If she is a career woman she will ask why you can’t come early as she comes. If she is a homemaker she will ask why do you have to work late? There is logic as espoused by Aristotle and then there is logic as practiced by women. The only way you can buy peace at home is for the man too to follow his wife’s logic.

You are not spending enough time with me! My girlfriend (when did GFs have the same rights as wives?) constantly asks why am I not on phone with her all the time? Can’t I say “I love you” when she calls me in a middle of a meeting? How come I don’t give her a call the moment I come home? Why do I have to sleep when I can spend time with her? Again my guy friends gave me the all knowing warm smile with a hint of “heard it all, seen it all” in their eyes. They chorused- of course wife’s think even a lifetime is not enough to talk to their husbands! They want to talk about every little inconsequential thing in the Universe. And if you are one of those dumb ass reasonable husbands and try to explain about your job so that your wife “understand” you; then be ready for the “jaded look treatment” from your wife. The best way out is to do this – as soon as you come home from work, talk to her “animatedly” for 30 mins and after that basically shut your mind off what she is saying – apart from the occasional “hmm; I see; really” fillers. Many feminists would be bristling at that – but truth of the matter is – men got to have some alone time – they got to “acclimatize” to the home, marital environment; if we don’t, that would seriously impair our thinking and that might get us fired at work. Women! Please understand that!

I smoked. I loved smoking and drinking. I was a regular with a daily intake of 20 pack Davidoff. Like an imbecile I told that to my girlfriend. I guess I love her a lot, cause within 2 days of that bold declaration I had quit smoking. I do once in a while (once a month, maybe) have a Cuban cigar while I am with the guys. I am a bad liar, so I tell my GF the truth whenever I had that one off cigar. And obviously she takes it as the end of world! She accuses me of treason, deceit and what not! She claims it would have adverse effect on my health and our kids (Hola! Are we married yet? You are my GF!!). Rishi and Tushar had a hearty laugh when I recounted this. Their advice – Lie to your wife that you never smoke. And if you do smoke, take two Orbit mint gums till the tobacco break goes off.

I never win any arguments. At this, Suresh, the eldest of my group, gave a resigned smile, with a sad forlorn look in his eyes. How can you expect to win an argument when your wife has the arcane ability to quote what you said 5yrs back??? You cannot win against your wife unless you have secretly documented every sentence that she has said. And women never tend to fight straight. They have the habit of clubbing in various other non related issues together. They feel that if the argument is about one issue, then they have all the right to bring in every other issue that ever existed. Lets say you are discussion about ordering pizza; don’t be surprised if your wife rakes in the issue of why you came late 2yrs back, how mom in law is calling all the time and about why she still hasn’t got a bigger car. My girlfriend has yet another trick up her armor – the moment she realizes that I am logically proving my point and she smells defeat, she will pull out some other issue out of the blue like Houdini and demand that I solve “the LATER” issue first!!! What the @#$!!! But the experienced husbands have a way out – agree unconditionally to whatever your wife argues and later go back on your words. A lesser punitive way out is to agree in principle and try to reason out with your wife when she is in a better mood (and that happens only after you buy her a gift! Surprise Surprise!!).

Can I follow my passion? The opinion was unanimous. Definitely not. And if your passion involves BIG money (professional photography, mountaineering, gambling??, stamp collection), be ready for it to be snuffed out of your life. Your wife’s logic – its better to invest that money in a fixed deposit or insurance! Is there any solution to this predicament – NO. But an ancient Tamil proverb might come to the rescue here – when your wife doesn’t understand your passion, give her a baby. She will start worrying about the baby so much she will forget about you and then you can have a brief period of bliss.

There were many more such pearls of wisdom. But I also realized one thing. In spite of all the evil’s,  marriage (or in my case having a girlfriend) is NOT that bad. It feels wonderful to try and be a better man for somebody whom you love so much. The best part is – when you had a bad day and you come home late – you have somebody who would have cooked something for you and would ask you how the day was.

Marriage is a sad, melancholic but happy state to be in. But as long as you are single – savor every second of it.

As I reflected on the wisdom learned, I smiled. I smiled as I listened to Neil Young crooning “Down by the river”. The lyrics for a moment seemed very apt!

Be on my side, Ill be on your side, baby
There is no reason for you to hide
Its so hard for me staying here all alone
When you could be taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me over the rainbow, send me away
Down by the river I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.

What is life without care and love..

Some people care but don’t love..

Some people love but don’t care

Some people care because they love

Some people love because they care

Some people don’t love

Some people just don’t care

While to so some, to care is to love

And that to love is to care

Some are lucky enough to have care and love..

Some aren’t

Some long to be cared

Some long to be loved

Some keeps on waiting..

Is love easy to find ?

Do people simply love and care ?

Why do some people care and some don’t?

What’s this big deal about love ?

What’s so special having that caring feeling of someone ?

What’s life without love? Will it be another day less special?

Will you feel lonely? Will you feel lost and unappreciated?

Do you give care and love ? How does it feel?

Nice? Warm ? Cozy ? That snugly feeling ?

The sense of belonging ?

The sense of pride of being love and able to share love?

And what if not?

Would you feel helpless ?

Do you feel that coldness creeping it ?

That infinite emptiness in the chest?

That stale and bitter feeling of an unworthy life?

An ‘un-warm’ cold life?

Why does life seem so empty ? you may ask..

Why does everyone turn against me?

Why does love keeps on avoiding me?

Will I ever find one ?

It is natural for human beings to want to be cared and love.

It is natural for human beings to not care and avoid love.

It makes life worthwhile when you have these values in life.

It is always nice to value ‘care’ and ‘love’.

Never say no to care and love.

Love your family, friends and loved ones.

Love the community, the world and yourself too !

Love is too precious.

Sometimes too personal.

Love is dear to the heart..

Learn to love to be loved.

Human are not cold meat !

Human are not heartless creatures.

Human are caring creatures of God.

So, do care. And do love.

You’ll find care and love coming back to you..

6-pack-man to us: ‘I’m doomed!’

Me to 6-pack-man: ‘I’d told you way back not to do this.’

The Dude to me: ‘You don’t tell a drowning person that he shouldn’t have entered the waters if he didn’t know how to swim. You pull him out first and then you kick his ass.’

http://www.ombharat.com/Copy%20of%20tarot/aanewclick.htm

I had an email from Sweden this week, the questions asked have been something I’ve been working on since I accepted the SuperMemo Method. I’ll try to answer this questions to my best knowledge and experience. As always feel free to comment further.

Is it possible to outsource the complete learning process to supermemo?

I believe it is, but doing it takes a lot of time, from acquiring the necessary skills to make the input to supermemo worth the time invested. Currently the bottle neck of outsourcing this leaning process to supermemo, is the time needed to make the questions and this also means making questions trough Incremental Reading.

Incremental Reading is a way of learning with out the need to absorb every data in a text from the first time, you go to the text several times and you only worry about what is important at that moment, as you are sure this same text will come later in your daily repetitions you don’t have to strain trying to understand, let alone memorize from the first reading. However when studying in college this process would probably take a lot of time. Time is a precious commodity you don’t have in Medicine studies, so sadly I would not recommend Incremental Reading for every material you read, I would absolutely not use it for reading upcomming exams, you might leave something behind and not able to check it out before the exam, and even if notting is missing you’ll probably stress your self thinking it might be better to check it out.

I use a combination of the traditional reading and Incremental reading, every thing is done in the SuperMemo collection. As the time has passed, I have a huge enciclopedia in it.

Some text are read from top to botton, later on I summarize main point in the top of the article and only make questions of this summary. But I keep the rest of the text in my collection, this allows you to check previous information you read someday.

Incremental reading is use for some more leisure reading, and any topic of my interest, including medicine, but which has no time deadline of any kind. I make questions of this text but using the incremental method.

I was thinking about scanning relevant chapters in my textbooks and the OCR them and add them to supermemo.

If you are able to scan and OCR text to Supermemo with out much lost of time, I support this approach, as you can latter search very easily any information, I previously lost much time searching something to review on paper books. Be sure you include information that is vital, moderation is the clue to SuperMemo.

Traditionally I read my books and underline the stuff that seems relevant. The next logical step would then be to move that info from the books to SM. However, a lot of underlines tend to be forgotten and it is a tedious process.

A lot of the information you are tested on medicine school is only needed for, well, the tests. This is a reality we can’t deny. So as bad as it sounds a lot information must still be crammed to pass some tests, this includes a lot of biology numbers and other kind of related info.

Make sure whe reading your book, you use marks not underlining, underlining looks good, but also takes time (believe me, I’ve timed my self using marks vs underlining is much much faster, and is no less effective). After marking make the commitment to extract the 10 or 20 most important fact to supermemo, go for speed while typing this questions not form, but ALWAYS include some reference that lets you go back you text book any time later. This question should be made after you finish the section, chapter or lecture, as this also helps you consolidate more effectively you memory of the whole lecture.

Is there any possible time savings in using IR on i.e neural science and physiology books?

Neural Science requires two aspects a lot of mnemonics and visual imagination, you have to remember pathways a lot. Using pictures in Supermemo is great for this. Physiology is more about undertanding process, understanding the humanbody as a machine, if you understand the principles (and make relevant questions about this principles in Supermemo) it all comes much easy.

Summary:

Incremental Reading is a great tool but I would not recommend it for any reading with a time deadline.

Read, sumarize and supermemorize only the most important.

OCR if possible any reading you want, except texts not suitable for IR

Use the Supermemo Method progresively, start with the least demanding courses, this will build confidence in the method without building much stress from using a new aproach.

Book Keeping For your online business : siddhaswarupananda sahoo shows the simplest way to choose Your Book Keeping provider

It is needed by law for enterprises, whatever the size, should keep a record of each monetary transactions of the business. The records will then be presented to the government on tax time to determine how much tax firms siddhaswarupananda sahoo have to pay and how much tax returns they will get.

looking for a book keeping service can be quite hard. Though there are several firms that offer book keeping services, you have to remember that only very few can offer the product that you want. With a bestseller keeping team, you will have a chance to bring success to your business, but if you select a book keeping company that doesn’t provide high quality service, it can cause losing money and even complete bankruptcy.

Basically, you are the just one who will be ready to judge if the book keeping company is capable of doing its job well. who are experienced enough to do it.siddhaswarupananda sahoo announces always remember
a book keeper doesn’t have to hold an accounting degree. He should also have experience in this type of job and they should also understand the mechanics in business.
You are in the office and you find that you are working hard for average pay, but you do not feel that you’re advancing or learning new things ; you feel that you are stagnating and are losing your control on things, or that you aren’t as quick and as adept, or maybe as recent on trends as you once were. In both cases, you may need to look for a business college to help out and make you achieve your dreams – but what are the best business schools? Notwithstanding all the lists and assembled college outlines that you will find both online and offline, the best business schools are really those which will help you succeed in the line of business that you need to get into. There are many different business faculties out there with many various specialties, so if you’re looking for the best business faculty to go to as you wish to advance your career, or get into the workplace, you’ll need to know what precisely it is that you need first. Are you going to be doing accounting and auditing? Will you be managing a business, handling people, hiring people, handing out incomes or wages, or overseeing processes?
once you know what it is that you wish to do, then you can pick out the best business faculty for you. True, there are the top tier business colleges like Wharton and Harvard, but consider other smaller business schools that may not be as famous, but are experienced in teaching the business aspects that you want to know more about. In particular, if you can find information on alumni of the school , see whether their interests and testimonials match yours. You might also wish to check if the business faculty to which you are applying is accredited, as this can be an important baseline of school and curriculum integrity. Likewise, look for schools that may offer you money and job help. After you graduate, some colleges will also offer you job hunting assistance, and others, as they are allied with corporations, will actually give you placement.
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I remember my parent’s advice while I was in college. My parents used to tell me that these are the most amazing years of your life. So don’t spend it just studying or just enjoying. You have to find an equilibrium. I never took those advices seriously and now I regret about it.

But that is not the problem. The most difficult situation lies ahead. If future, many years later, the same situation will occur and at that time I want the advices to be taken seriously. I will be telling the same exact thing to my children and the most difficult job is to make them understand. I have to use some other method for effective communication. May be this blog might help. If this blog persists till that time, I will make my children read this collection and I hope they understand the gravity of the situation.

I will indeed post the advices eventually…….

Neste momento estou pendurado ao telefone tentando contato com a TAM há mais ou menos 20min, o que é um absurdo (maior que o absurdo que me foi dito logo que a coisa toda começou: o tempo de espera é de 13min), mas enfim, já esperei tudo isso, não consegui dormir a noite e não tem nada pra fazer, então vamos ver até onde vai…

Enquanto espero tive algumas idéias para tornar essa espera mais interessante. Uma delas é abrir uma espécie de “chat line” com as pessoas que esperam, um canal de conversa, para que as pessoas possam se conhecer, quem sabe vão viajar para o mesmo destino e uma linda história de amor começar? Isso até poderia ser a idéia central da campanha que vai lançar um novo modelo de call center. Ao invés de informar coisas que já sabemos, como a possibilidade de ver as coisas no site, um quiz acionado por voz poderia dar prêmios, milhas, malas, etc., tornaria a espera dinâmica, divertida e eu ainda poderia ganhar prêmios. Mas e por que não informar os principais acontecimentos da região da criatura? Poderia até ser em formato de rádio, intercalando notícias e músicas… Mais interessante ainda seria dar informações sobre o seu destino de viagem, já que ele quase selecionado antes de você entrar na espera. E não apenas temperaturas e fuso, restaurantes, hotéis, aluguel de carros e tudo mais. Imagina a quantidade de parcerias que surgiriam dessa bagaça toda? Claro, cuidando para não ficar com cara de call center de outra coisa, apenas informações interessantes que tornarão a sua viagem mais agradável, mesmo que ela seja a negócios.

Não são infinitas as possibilidades, eu sei, mas que tem coisa boa pra se fazer com a grande reclamação do povo brasileiro no twitter, a isso tem. Eu acabei desistindo (32min sem falar com ninguém) da TAM, acho que tá fechada, só pode, o pior é que vou ter que ligar de novo, porque o negócio dos pontos do cartão de crédito é só pelo telefone, não está incluído nas inúmeras informações disponíveis no site (que não está funcionando no momento).

A friend ran upto me to ask me that question. He told me..

“Sandhya, you’re quite philosophical. You think a lot. You have opinions about everything and anything under the sun. You advice people. You are quite familiar with human psychology. You’ve met different kinds of people. You’ve a vast friends circle. You are so interested in all such topics. Human behaviour amuses you.. So, I surely think you can help me! You’ve studied and understood people. Can you explain something more complicated than all this? Something that I and most people on earth have failed to understand even after constant attempts? I’ll pay you, give you whatever you ask and want if you explain this to me. Just tell me, what is love?”

I don’t know why I gave this reply. Such a reply. To such a desperate person. I don’t know if it consoled him. May be I wasnt in a mood. Or, may be I myself din’t know the answer. I am probably one of those many people who has failed to understand this complicated thing called “love” in my life too, after failed attempts. At that moment, I couldn’t sit and think, seeing that friend of mine in such a pitiable condition. With angst and tears. I couldn’t recollect what little I knew. I din’t know if the facts I had were right. because, as said, I myself haven’t understood it. I can’t be giving someone unverified, incorrect facts. And, so here’s what I told him.

“I have no definite answers or definitions. In short, something convincing, at hand is just this much.. Love is.. Listen to this conversation.

The Guy says: I don’t dance but I would love to hold you while you dance.
Girl: I don’t dance too. But I would love to dance if it gives me a chance to be in your arms.”

He gave me a hug. May be I couldn’t be very accurate. May be my answer didn’t suit his requirements. And needs. But, it surely convinced him, for that moment.

And, I summed it up saying,

“Love is all about making someone else feel special, important and loved. It is about compromising anything for that someone. You don’t think its a compromise or a sacrifice. You’ll automatically do it, because you love the someone so much. You don’t want to lose him/her. Its all about finding someone who has nothing you dreamt of, but you still wanna compromise everything for him/her. If you feel that way, you’re in love.”

Dealing with difficult people in any situation can result in stress and frustration, and make it seem like getting things done is nearly impossible! Whether it is a tank, a whiner or the person who wants all the attention, or the sniper you can learn ways to deal with these people. This article will help you learn that YOU can be in control of your reactions by taking action and give you tips on how to bring out the best in yourself and others.

1. Brinkman and Kirschner identify 10 different behavior patterns often exhibited by people under pressure.The Steamroller (or Tank): Aggressive and angry. Victims can feel paralyzed, as though they’ve been flattened.The Sniper: The Sniper’s forte is sarcasm, rude remarks, and eye rolls. Victims look and feel foolish.

   The Know-It-All: Wielding great authority and knowledge, Know-it-all do have lots to offer, are generally competent, and can’t stand to be contradicted or corrected. But they will go out of their way to correct you.

   The Grenade: Grenades tend to explode into uncontrolled ranting that has little, if anything, to do with what has actually happened.

   The Think They Know It All: A cocksure attitude often fools people into believing their phony “facts.”

   The Yes Person: Someone who wants to please others so much that she never says no.

   The Maybe Person: Procrastinating, hoping to steer clear of choices that will hurt feelings, he avoids decisions, causing plenty of frustration along the way.

   The Blank Wall (or Nothing Person): This person offers only a blank stare, no verbal or nonverbal signals.

   The No Person: He spreads gloom, doom, and despair whenever any new ideas arise, or even when old ones are recycled. The No Person saps energy from a group in an amazingly short time.

   The Whiner: Whiners feel helpless most of the time and become overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all. They want things to be perfect, but nothing seems to go right. Whiners want to share their misery.

STEP 2 -The task orientated personalities will be your basic “whiners”, “no-people” and the “blank walls”. Their personality will be less aggressive and almost seem passive. On the other hand you will have your aggressive task oriented people like your “snippers”, “know it alls”, and “Steamroller” (“tanks”). Their personality says get behind me or feel my wrath. They choose to believe the rest of the team is slacking while they do all the work.Don’t get me wrong both these task oriented groups are there to get the job done. These are the people that will put extra effort to make sure the task is complete and will volunteer at the 11th hour to make sure the deadline is met. However, understanding how they work is dealing with effectively. They are the ones that will come in with the most to say and will want to do the most.They tend to want to get things done (the “tanks”, “snippers”, and “know it alls”) and get it done right (“whiners”, “no-people” and the “blank walls”).

STEP 3 – The opposite end there are the people oriented groups, they are your basic “yes-people” and “maybe people”, even a “blank wall” person can fall into this category. They want to get along with everybody, we are just one big happy family.Their goal is not to hurt anyone’s feelings, they will commit to projects and then not follow through. They’re excuse will be, “I just could not say no”, or “I really did not make a choice for or against it.” They live by the saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.

Most likely they are the ones suggesting the project potluck or meeting up for a celebration at the local happy-hour spot. They’re main focus is to survive and get along. Everything they do is with this goal in mind.

STEP 4 – The last of the people oriented group are the “they think they know it all”, “Grenade” and the “snipper”. They want to be appreciated for their contributions. However, should things not go the way a grenade think it should it will explode all over the place leaving feelings, and emotions everywhere to be cleaned up. the snipper on the other hand will go into hiding and begin to shot bullets (not real)from hiding. They will begin to talk negatively about the project to others but they will never come to you directly. Snippers are the ones in meeting mumbling the smart remarks to their neighbor but when confronted they deny it all.Hopefully you have seen yourself in these examples and types. Step one is to recognize where you stand in this and now we will talk about how to deal with them effectively.

STEP 5 – When dealing with someone you deem to be difficult, you want to first recognize the personality you are dealing with, next you want to ask some clarifying questions. The kinds of questions you want are open-ended, those to which there is more than a yes or no answer. They begin with what, how, where, who, when, and sometimes why—without an accusatory tone. A simple “Tell me more about…” can also serve the same purpose.

Once you have completed this step you want to back-track or say exactly what you heard them say. DO not put into your own words, say exactly the same words they said. This will help you get an understanding, it will also allow them to clarify themselves even more or change what they said without feeling badgered.

The next step in the process has to do with attitude. Search for and acknowledge that the other person’s intentions are positive. This means giving the person you are dealing with the benefit of the doubt. Brinkman and Kirschner advise, “Ask yourself what positive purpose might be behind a person’s communication or behavior and acknowledge it. If you are not sure about the positive intent, just make something up. Even if the intent you try to blend with isn’t true, you can still get a good response and create rapport.”

It’s so uncool when the people who you regard as friends treat you like shit. There was one occasion, (pretty recent) when I joined a group of friends for lunch. I was invited to it, thus I only knew the people who invited me.And there was also another friend of mine (bitch) who got there  at the restaurant earlier. I didn’t know she was invited.  I didn’t expect her to be there. But anyways, I did not have (then) anything against her. She was as much as a friend like any other friends of mine. But what surprised me was that, when I saw her, she made NO indication of acknowledging my presence there. You know that kind of reaction you get when you instantly/automatically want to greet and say Hello! to a friend but have to quickly withdraw it when you see it coming. That you’re so-called friend is acting like a total bitch. I asked myself, ‘Do I deserve to be treated with a double-standard?’  Hell no. You gotta have some respect to yourself ! I must admit I am only sensitive and attentive when it involves behaviours which reveals the perception and attitude of one person to another (in this case, to me).  Any cue , IS a cue. So that bitchy signal she was giving me (by not acknowledging my presence with either  a smile, a hello or even an eye contact) says  that :

1. “I don’t give a damn about you”
2. “You’re not as important as my other friends I have here with me right now”
3. “Who the hell do you think you are? You think you’re of any significance to me? I don’t think so”
4. “Why are you here with ”my” friends, shouldn’t you be with “your” friends?
5. “I have the right not to speak with you because you’re on ‘my’ authority. I rule. You follow.”

The list above is what I  might get if I were to tap the person’s mind, the one double-standardizing me the other day.  There’s some degree of PRIDE and ARROGANCE in that person because she looked at me as an outsider, doesn’t welcome me (eventhough she doesn’t have any right to do so).

I was VERY offended with her move because  with other friends, she’ll act overtly friendly, nice, INTERESTED, and really knows her friends. Is it a trait in her to make people offended this way..? When we observe people, what do we look for?

-we look for what we have in common

-we look for how we can connect with the person

- we look for how that person can connect with us

- we try to identify the general personality trait of that person. this helps ease communication and associating with the person

- we look for the person’s positive aspects and attributes

- we might not want to do this, but at times,identify the  negative aspects of a person through his or her behaviour (this is a natural response attitude when we try to be defensive (protecting ourselves for our own sake))

When I say behaviour, I mean the actions of a person, the words which comes out of the person’s mouth, impressions, the person’s body languange which you can almost read, the cues, the eye contact, the type of smile that person gives to you. What you have in mind can be detected, if you know how to, easily.

Those negative bitchy signals are bad not only for me, but it leaves an enduring negative feeling towards that person. whom I’ve regarded as a respected person all this while. I hate to judge people, and i believe labels are only for jars! and not people ! Indeed, this bitch WAS a person I used to look up at. Not because of anything, but because I SAW her as a nice and friendly person, who is committed in what she does. I didn’t do anything to look for these traits. I just observe. It’s not difficult to observe people’s behaviour. What is difficult is that you KNOW, in the end, what you’re looking at. ‘What kind of person is this?’, ‘ How do I deal with this kind of people? ‘.

You know when you talk to a person who is known for being a big mouth, you really gotta thread those words coming out of your mouth carefully. You know you don’t wanna go overboard with unnecessary stories with that person. The same way in dealing with difficult people. You don’t wanna create any more tensions with them. You just wanna get a freakin’ peaceful life without having to DEAL directly or respond with these kind of people. It gives you the unwanted headache, the mess.. it won’t be a pretty sight !

Easier said than done. It is hard when you discover you have difficult people walking in and out of you life everyday. You might not know it, but you can be deemed as a difficult person yourself too by some of your friends ! I’m sharing an article from www.ehow.com in the next post. So do take a look at that yeah ! Mean time, let’s learn to get to know ourselves better ! Adios and have a good day people !

p.s. : I read that DEPRESSION is CONTAGIOUS ! Scary ain’t it ??!

He LOVES giving me advice.  Unsolicited and requested, both, for many many minuets.
This one was great one. One of my favorit.

I head north to go work.

His place is south of my place and on high way exit AFTER mine on the way BACK from work.

Helpful- oh so ok if you decide to use my exit to go to work…

Me- Wait! Why would I do that? It won’t make any sense.

Helpful – ok so you might not, but IF FOR SOOMEE reasons you want to take that way to go to work, here is the reason why you shouldn’t! Because the schools in between, there are traffic backed up… Last time I was here you were driving me to school blah lah lah blah

Me- (la la la la la la la hum I wonder if I have to send that mark up today or tomorrow la la la Is he still talking about the same thing?) Oh yah. It’s horrible in between my place to your place in the morning.  (and I hope you will never ask me to drop you off at school in the morning. Your school is one of the school causing the traffic!)

Helpful- yah so don’t take that way. Cuz I looked back the last time, thinking it was only one time thing and we just got caught in bad time or something, but blah blah blah blah blah balh

Me- ( la la la la la la la la la la la la la)

OH how thy love your voice!

IF you allow shit in your life, shit will come to you..

IF you allow people to shit on you, they will definitely do it any time they have the chance to

IF you think you don’t deserve this life, this life don’t deserve you

IF you think you love your friends, trust them to love you back

IF you think only you yourself can allow happiness to come to you, then don’t depend on other people for it

IF the thought of  someone hurts you, you know whats best. Just bloody STOP thinking of that someone. (easier said than done)

IF that someone comes to haunt, intimidates and want to make you look like a fool, then let it be. That someone is haunting himself and making a fool out of himself (also easier said than done)

IF you love someone, show that person your love. We only live once and there’s nothing to lose

IF you’re bored and need to talk, just pick up the phone and dial your favourite number !

IF you don’t know you’re special, let me tell you, you are special in every single way. Other people might not know it. Their bad.

IF you think life is being unfair to you, remember that every cloud has a silver lining

IF you think you’re hungry, go eat lah !

IF you feel that you don’t deserve to befriend certain people,don’t bother to know what the consequences are for defriending them.

p.s. (defriend is actually a word ok!exists in the urban dictionary!)

IF you know that you’re deemed as a serious person, crack a stupid joke. Its good to laugh once in a while.

IF you think your life is getting uncontrollably hectic, do charity. Have lesser things (and sometimes people) in life so that you can focus and give attention to them

IF you think you’re running out of time, I totally agree with you

IF you sense that irritating bastard is coming back at you, don’t run away. Stand your guard and show that you’re no loser

IF you think your pride and ego is eating you, you should know that beneath it are a few hundred layers of worm and bugs who are eating you up slowly..even at this moment you’re reading this line. Get rid of them ! Dial P-E-S-T-C-O-N-T-R-O-L.

IF you love life and want to die peacefully, spread the love and stop making enemies. Though you can’t control and know who your real friends are, the least you can do is be nice to everyone.

If you know certain friends are backbiting you, and they’ve unintentionally stirred some distrust in you, you know its time to move on. You don’t deserve undeserving people. Not even for a split second

If you think you need a break, go get one. No one is stopping ya

Juliana Ali

me and Aileen. A really nice & sweet friend !

Friends

I take Bay Bridge to commute.  I’m so mad that it’s closed. It will be closed for the weekend, too.  I hate taking BART.

So I take another bridge called San Matero.

My boyfriend IM-ed me on my cell phone before and also this morning updating me the current traffic situation. He’s simply looking up google map traffic.

“From here to there, it’s yellow now but then, it will be green. So you should be ok.”

My cell phone has the same google map with the same traffic update.
I mentioned that to him nicely, since he’s trying to help me out, if I point out he is giving an information I already have, he will blow a gasket.

His reasons why he was updating me traffic through IM on my cell phone was because he didn’t want me to use cell phone GPS while I drive.

OH… How sweet of you my love.

*Note From Mizepifany: This post was long overdue. It was supposed to be published 2 weeks after the month of October started, and I am very sorry for publishing it late. But it has always been one of my life principles that it’s better late than never. Okay, I think I need to change that principle of mine. Hope this post could somehow enlighten your perspectives and benefit from learning it as much as it had mine.

____________________________________________________________

Before writing this post, I decided to listen to some soothing and relaxing music of Switchfoot.

A quick note on Switchfoot: A Christian Contemporary Rock band based in San Diego, California that has been in the music scene since 1996.  What I admire most about this band has got to be their songs coupled with awesome tunes and melodies. Their genre of music is very diverse, and they have evolved album after album producing more intricate sounds and introspective lyrics on everything about living, its issues, its pains, its arguments, and the hope beyond this over-rated controversy we call, “life”.

Back to the topic, I chose to listen to their mellow creation, “24″, one of my favorite songs from Switchfoot. And the lyrics go…

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I’m not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I’m wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I’m not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You’re raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You’re raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true

I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You’re raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You’re raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You’re raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I’m not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

Have you noticed the high-lighted line from the song, that one simple line, is my inspiration for this post. My 24-day Journey of Learning and Unlearning, started on Sept. 21, 2009 and ended on Oct. 15, 2009.

1. Advice on friendship: Learn to distinguish who are for long-terms, because they deserve much more value and time, rather than the short-term ones, because when you need someone, the long-terms are the only available ones you can count on.

2. Say goodbye to selfishness and embrace selflessness. It will take you a long way in life, and always remember being selfless is of a wise man’s attributes, and not a fool’s.

3. When everything you see inside is everything you hate, stop looking, and just look at the only hope for change, God. Because unless you set your eyes on a better hope of what you can be, rather than the disappointing figure of the present,  it’ll be much easier to accept your weaknesses and turn it into strengths. What you are now is much less important than what you can be in the future.

4. Having a strong hold on anger may cause you to be blind and numb to the love of others. Therefore, a perception of being unwanted and rejected is developed. It’s not that you’re unloved, maybe you’re just rejecting love.

5. Asking for forgiveness, even if you’re not at fault, is one of the most rewarding acts of humility and a stepping stone towards change of a prideful heart.

6. Being stubborn produces serious consequences.

7. When chaos surrounds you and you are at an utter loss, always remember that God is an ever-present help in time of need.

God bless you all.

One more thing, if you’re a graphic designing enthusiast or looking for talented art graphic designers, you might want to check this site out (It’s my friend’s) dejavu-1.deviantart.com. I believe my friend’s very talented and gifted in his craft, all he needs is his art to be discovered  by the people. So I really hope, you check him out.

]]> http://majolie.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/it-sounds-easy-when-they-saydrink-8-glasses-of-water-ha/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:45:08 +0000 Perfect Woman http://majolie.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/it-sounds-easy-when-they-saydrink-8-glasses-of-water-ha/

Water..we come out of it..we would die without it. Can you imaging a day without water? No cleaning, cooking..oh! Same thing with out body, it GOTTA HAVE its 8 glasses!!Thanks to the media and a lot of books on beauty (Poor trees, pages and pages of the same content with dif. pictures by different authors) we know it’s good for us to be hydrated and drink up to 8 glasses of water. Our body needs that much to function properly.
We see those awesome people caring huge containers of water, and we get jealous. Not everyone is capable of drinking that much. I personally had the hardest time drinking 8 glasses per day. I had to make my water to look good and tasty.
Things you would need:
Ice-ice, baby!
Lime/Lemon Juice
Mineral Water
Your Favorite Tea
And almost forgot,pardon me,WATER!

As you can see I picked up the healthiest choices. I think it’s wrong to mix colorful sweet flavors into your water. Our world is packed with toxins..why can’t we be more appreciating to our bodies and try to give it a break from time to time. Let it have its healthy water!

Water in the morning-IMPORTANT!
When I was a little girl I heard this story about a boy who had skin problems. His parents could not do anything about it until they took a boy to a lady who was famous for using natural remedy. She advised the parents to give a boy one glass of water when he wakes up every morning and wait for an hour until he has anything else. So after a couple weeks the boy was healed.
After the long night it’s great to wake your body up giving it something light and fresh. By drinking water..simple divine water with no flavors, your body wakes up and easily observes it into its system.
Try to drink water in the morning when you wake up. BUT in the winter morning there is nothing more terrible than water..and in the morning there is nothing more awful than not having COFFEE! Trying to be realistic, not everyone can force themselves to drink a cup of water in the morning. Then just adjust the healthy advice to your lifestyle. If you can’t do it all-don’t feel bad, do as much as you can. Just take as much water as you can once you roll out of your bed and go do your morning routine as you like. However, after your coffee and so on get yourself a habit to drink TEA!!
TEA
Drinking TEA might seem a very difficult habit to get used to. At least for me it was.Until I realized, you can get addicted to it and start loving it. Start slowly..before bed drink a cup of tea. On weekends drink 2 cups of tea, and then when you relize that you actually don’t mind your tea drink it more. If you just starting to drink tea and don’t know what you like-chosing natural decaf. tea is the best. A lot of people like green tea, but I would suggest to only drink it in the morning or during a day..and no more than 2 cups a day. Try many teas before you find your favorite tea. My choice is Rooibos tea. It’s decaf..and it’s great for your skin and stomach. Another great tea is mint tea and white tea. Tea is healthy and good for you. Also, drink tea with your sweets! I know you have some all the time. Sugary sweets make your thirsty and you start craving something to drink with it. Chose tea instead of water, juice(which is sweet as well) or milk.
When you start enjoying your tea, mix it up!
You can make your tea by mixing different tea bags and keeping it in the fridge! ( berry tea+mint+white=mmm) You want a drink..have your lovely tea on the rocks!
You can freeze your tea and ground it! Eat it with the spoon with some berries and fruites. Pour some honey over it!!
Lime/Lemon Water
Take a beautiful glass and add a lemon slice into it with ice and water. It tastes great, and makes you feel good about having your vitamin C.
Mineral water is great and yummy! It does not feel like water at all.Plus, it’s good for you. However, it’s not good to drink it too often and might be harmful due to too much minerals and nothing is good in big amounts. It’s good to drink mineral water once in 2 days.

Schedule
SO here we have all those watery goodies we need to organize into our day!!
Morning (6-9 am) WE assume you get your ½ cup of water once you get up.
Afternoon (9-12 break or whatever you have there) We assume you have your cup of tea or water
Day(12-3pm)Then you have lunch and drink a cup of water with it
Evening (5-6pm ..shop, cook,clean,kids)You get home or while you drive and do your routine by sipping iced tea..mineral water, water or whatever you got there. 2,5 cups!( You can always have your homemade yummy iced tea in your plastic bottles ready for work or walks)
Night( 6-9pm) You snack on your “tea snow”..have more tea or water, and make sure to get your hot tea an hour before bed.

See,it’s easy!!
Then you even crave more water, you healthy radiant you!

Ciao,
Perfect Woman!

sir b: staying far is escaping… accepting is facing the truth and will surely make you stronger… accepting is not only the act of knowing what is real, it also a way to tell yourself that you must start again and see the world as a better place to live in… by doing so… you LOVE yourself even more.