A new comittee was elected 15 November.

Co-Convenor – Suzanne O’Garey

Secretary – Cornel Robinson

Treasurer - Jill Sergeant

Ordinary Committee members

Annie Stopford

Jeneby Matthews

Matshepo Molala

Nicole Yade

Our thanks and appreciation to Liz Tinney and Mohamed Dukuly, who stood down from the committee this year.

Download Annual Report 2009

She's my mum, OK!?!

The other day I was  reading an article on Intermix by Canadian ‘Piss’ comedian Sabrina Jalees. (Piss, by her own definition = Pakistani/Swiss). She listed all the pros and cons of being mixed race. The one that struck a chord with me was “Your innocent mother-daughter love is easily mistaken for a ‘creepy sugar momma and her young misguided brown girl’ lesbian fling.” Not that AM and I have ever been mistaken for lesbians of course, but there was that time in Germany last year when the hotel proprietor seemed to think we’d be needing a double bed … ick. AM was only 13 at the time.

Anyway, her comment prompted me to think of the three major ways in which white mum’s relationships with our kids get mis-identified. From birth through primary school people think you’ve adopted them. (Aren’t you good!, they exclaim to you beside the swings).

Then there’s the Cougar phase I just referred to, starting sometime during puberty and lasting, I assume, a very, very long time. 

And finally, I’m guessing that when I’m old and decrepit, people will think he’s a kindly care worker or volunteer at an old people’s home. (Isn’t he good!, they will think to themselves).

I don’t really hold it against people. They’re usually just curious about us. I’m sure it’s good for my patience. This pic at right from when he was little, is for everyone who wonders who we are.

Get used to it.

The next AAN picnic will be

1.00pm – 4.00pm

Saturday 2nd May

at Central Gardens Reserve Merrylands

Cnr Merrylands Rd & Cumberland Highway.
View Map 

Come along and meet new people and families of mixed backgrounds. Bring some food to share, and enjoy good company. The children will enjoy exploring the animal exhibits in the park and there is plenty of room for bike riding or ball games.

If it is raining we will meet at a Cafe close by. Please contact Suzanne on 0417 777 131 for more details. Hope to see you all there!

Don’t forget to come to our African Australian BBQ

Saturday December 6th

2.00 – 5.00pm

Sports Club Hall, Parry Park, Punchbowl Rd, Lakemba

See map

We provide halal meat, marinated African-style, salads and bread. Soft drinks will be on sale. Bring your family, other drinks if you want to, coins for our raffle (fabulous prizes) and your best dance moves.

For more info email admin@australianafricannetwork.org.au or call Jill 0424 853 717 or Suzanne 0417 777 131.

Download the flier and stick it on your fridge so you remember, or email it to your friends.

Our thanks to Canterbury Council for sponsoring this event with a Harmony Day Grant.

Australian African network has just released preliminary results for their online survey of people in mixed relationships in Australia. The data’s a bit skewed, cos mostly white women filled in the survey – but it’s also the first survey of its kind that we know of in Australia. It’s also a bit skewed because it’s focussing on challenges – where’s the question that asks about the positive things in mixed relationships? Well I have to take part of the blame for that oversight, (being on the AAN committee), but our observations have been that there are more challenges in mixed relationships, which is why we asked it. And the survey did provide evidence for this in that around one third of respondents were no longer in mixed relationships – but were still parenting their mixed children from those relationships.

So what did people think were the challenges? Most people named lack of connection to African culture, cultural isues and racism/prejudice from the society.

Well if most of your respondents are white, I guess it’s no surprise that connection to African culture is a problem – but really, it shouldn’t be that way, should it? Women talked about losing contact with African communities after separation and were concerned for their children. This is a complex issue – I’m not going to blame African communities for not being more inclusive – tho perhaps they could be. I think it comes down to the next big ticket item on the challenges list: cultural difference. If it’s a challenge in your relationship, then it’s going to be a challenge when you are in your (ex)partner’s African community. (I don’t mean mixed African events here, I mean just Ghanaian, or just Kenyan).

I know I’m not the only white woman who’s gone to an African community event – say a wedding – and felt awkward and isolated. Just as an African at an all Aussie event can feel out on a limb (although they may also be getting targeted with racism). It can be an experience of culture shock, unless you already have good friends in the community, or speak the language fluently, or are boundlessly confident and extroverted.  It takes time to connect and feel included, and if all your connections are via your partner, you can lose that with separation and it’s hard to rebuild.

But what exactly did those survey respondents mean, when they said “cultural difference” or “cultural issues”? It’s a very broad term and not really that helpful if you’re trying to pin down what resources & support to provide to a comunity. The term can cover a huge range of things, from the jovial celebration of food, music and style that’s promoted by our multicultural policies; to acute and profound disagreement about how to raise your children, or how many people you should be having sex with; to the feeling that the rug’s just been pulled out from under your feet and there’s no floor underneath. You plummet downwards, wondering how you could have got it soooo wrong. Your culturally different partner watches, perplexed. Or perhaps they’re falling down a different crevasse.

Is that why people didn’t go into more detail on the survey? Because they couldn’t put into words that feeling of desolation when you suddenly realise that you each have totally different interpretations/ understandings / judgements about something and are not even in the same book, let alone on the same page? Or was it because to voice the specifics might feel politically incorrect, or because they didn’t want to air their dirty linen in public?

Or was it less fraught than all that? Perhaps people just didn’t think it worth detailing the pettty conflicts over how to wash the dishes (sink or running water? Anglo Aussies can get a bit tense about this: compromise with a rinsing basin), or having to cook separately because you don’t like each other’s food, or which bits of your body you think it’s appropriate to shave.

Whatever. All we can do is speculate about exactly what people mean by cultural difference, but at least the fact that people mentioned it points to it being a challenge – just as AAN suspected. However the survey did bring up other interesting data, like the fact that kids in single parent non-African households have less access to African language, and that mixed families have less extended family support, and that settlement issues like unemployment and financial problems have an impact on mixed families too.

The survey is, as I said at the beginning, skewed. I think of it as imperfect but important. There’s valuable info but mostly from one set of perspectives. If you’re in a position to redress the balance, please fill out the survey.  It’s online unti late December. Just don’t forget to spell out what you mean by cultural difference!

And if you’re really feeling enthusiastic about expressing your point of view, you may also want to be interviewed for a small research project on mixed relationships. Email anniestopford@optus.net.com.au for more details.

In October 2007 AAN started an online survey. We wanted to know more about the challenges and needs of people in mixed relationships in NSW, and also what kinds of activities they’d like AAN to do. It’s a first that we know of in Australia.

75 people filled in the survey and the key issues that they named as important were lack of connection to African culture and community, cultural issues, and racism and prejudice. They were most interested in AAN doing picnics, and seminars on political and cultural issues.

39 of the people who answered the survey were currently in a mixed relationship and 20 used to be, and the remainder either were “just friends” or did not answer the question.  They represented 18 countries and all regions of Africa, and 24 different language groups.

56 women and 18 men filled out the survey. 21 were of African heritage and 52 were non-African. 36 were the parents of mixed children.

For more detail Download the survey results summary (PDF, 5 pages).

We are very pleased with the response, it has provided useful information which will help us as an organisation. Thank you to everyone who took the time to fill it in. 

We will be keeping the survey online until the end of year because we are keen to get the views of more men and more African heritage people, so as to get a fuller picture of what people in mixed relationships want & need. So if you haven’t already, please do the survey, and/or encourage your partners and friends to do so too.

Do the survey online or Download the survey (MS Word) and email or post it back to us.

Bring your family and hang out with us at the next AAN Sausage Sizzle.

Saturday 25 October, 1.00pm – 5.00pm.

Johnson Park, Constitution Rd, Dulwich Hill

We will provide a sausage sizzle but you are welcome to bring other food for the BBQ and/or salads etc. to share.

Johnson Park has enclosed play equipment, a basketball court, and plenty of space for bikes and kicking a ball around.

There’s plenty of parking or it’s a short walk from the 425, 426, 428 & 445 Bus routes (get off near Dulwich Hill shops).

If it’s raining the picnic will be cancelled. Call Suzanne on 0417 777 131 if the weather is uncertain.