Andre Agassi claims he actually hates tennis.. go figure… something he is so good at he cant stand!

Nice article about Rafa Nadal. Roger Federer gets a lot of kudos for his good sportsmanship and helping the image of tennis (and rightly so) but Rafa is right up there with him in my book. Interesting to read his comments about Agassi.

Though I don’t think Rafa will win the ATP World Tour Finals I do think that if he is able to manage his knee problem and cut down his playing schedule in 2010 (he played himself literally to a stand still in the first five months of 2009) he’ll be right back up there challenging for grand slam titles and the number one ranking.

I admire the man for his on court acheivements – winning a career grand slam and all – but why oh why release such a damaging autobiography which does little for his character or for the sport itself. If he hated the sport so much then why not walk away? Guess the money was too good, right? As for the drugs I couldn’t care less that he took meth but the admission that he lied when caught out – and even worse the authorities bought the excuse – does nothing for him or for tennis. Other guys got caught out and copped the mandatory three month suspension on the chin.

Will this have any effect on his Hall of Fame credentials? Unlikely, but there were plenty of commentators at the time of Martina Hingis’s positive cocaine test suggesting the drug result would count her out.

Juro que, en el momento, era más dificil de ver

El otro día entraba en casa de mis sobrinos. Siempre me las doy de tío molón, “¡Hala que coche más bonito llevas ahí!!”, le digo al mayor. “Un coche”, dice divertido volviéndose a su hermano, “pero si es el Omnitrix de Ben 10″. No me suele pasar que me pillen tan descolocado, y eso me hizo pensar en lo complicado que es saber envejecer bien.

Puede que Roger, el grande, viese con claridad meridiana que se le escapaba la posibilidad de alcanzar a Sampras. O puede que fuesen lágrimas de impotencia. “No puedo, esto me está matando.” (Las Provincias)

Envejecer bien es saber aceptar que los sueños no siempre se cumplen cuando nosotros queremos, saber esperar y seguir luchando.

“El récord [dice Guillermo Vilas] era mío igual, porque yo lo gané en una sola temporada. Lo de Federer es diferente porque lo hubiera conseguido en varias temporadas. Lo mismo con lo de Nadal sobre polvo de ladrillo. Ese récord también sigue siendo mío” (Diario Clarín)

Envejecer bien es aceptar y aplaudir los méritos de los que vienen detrás, aun cuando pienses que estos te hacen a tí más pequeño. Recuerda que ellos se apoyan sobre tus hombros.

“No puedo hablar de adicción, pero muchas personas dirían que si consumes algo como modo de escape, tienes un problema”, explica [A.Agassi] el tenista, de 39 años, a la publicación estadounidense. (El País)

Envejecer bien es saber caer lentamente en el olvido, respetando aquello que te lo ha dado todo y sin dejarse seducir por unos cuantos titulares y algunos miles de biografías más vendidas.

Qué dificil es envejecer bien.

This week in Paris has been absolutely fascinating. As far as end of season tournaments go, Paris has been by far the best. Despite del Potro’s retirement, Federer’s first round loss, and Mandy’s loss to the ever annoying Stepanek, tennis fans have had plenty to enjoy. Rafael Nadal fought his way through to the semi finals, Gael Monfils gave the home crowd something to cheer for, and Novak Djokovic captured the title with his best tennis of the year. But before any of this happened, we said goodbye to one of tennis’s most loved men, Marat Safin.

Writing about a player you know hardly anything about should be difficult. Especially when you are hardly even a fan of said player. But the thing with Marat is, he inspired conversation and enthusiasm with all tennis fans, no matter how much you liked him. And even if, like me, you found it hard to support a man that dragged his feet through his last year on tour, appeared to hate the sport, spoke about having no friends on tour, and stated time and time again that he could not wait to forget about tennis, Marat Safin would somehow find a way to wiggle into your heart. Because despite his anti Federer/Nadal personality, there is a lot to love about the angry, misunderstood Russian. And I don’t just mean his good looks.

Marat Safin has something we don’t see much amongst the stern faced competitors of the ATP: a fabulous sense of humour. His pressers were always honest, interesting, and funny. Whether he was putting himself down, bemoaning the price of strawberries, or telling Andre Agassi where to go, Marat could always be counted on to say something funny and shocking. You can forget the formalities with Marat, want an alternative to Nadal’s humble post-loss speeches? Then Marat was your man.

Not the world’s best role model, this is the man who showed up to a match supported by a girl with her nipples showing. Then there was the time he arrived with a black eye, having found himself in a fight the night before. We were hardly suprised. Marat has walked off court after being called for a foot fault, and he has smashed more racquets than Fernando Gonzalez. He has never been very good at controlling his temper.

With all this anger, slutiness, and disdain for tennis, a casual tennis fan might find it hard to see what all the fuss is about. Indeed, hardly anyone could get away with the behaviour Marat has displayed over his career. Andy Roddick has acted similarly at times, but recieves as much criticism as he does love. The men I was too young to watch that threw racquets and went off their head seem to gather a lot of dislike as well. I have heard many people express their dislike of John McEnroe. Even Andre Agassi is finding the public against him after basking in their praise for many years. What is it about Marat that makes him so untouchable?

It sounds cruel, but Marat Safin simply has not had the career success to generate much hatred against him. Despite his two Grand Slams, fifteen titles, and a number one ranking, many people think that with a backhand that beautiful, Safin is an underachiever. Defenders of Marat point to a man called Roger Federer, and others say Marat is a choker through and through. The truth is probably a combination of both.

Marat has more than just an underdog charm to win so many people over. Marat has charisma. Oodles of it. He is funny, he is emotional, he loves his little sister, and, let’s face it, Marat is incredibly good looking. Marat wins male tennis fans over with his anger and sense of humour, women flock to his charm and his rugged bad-boy looks.

Yet there is still much more to Marat than good looks, anger, and humour. These are all entertaining characteristics, but there is one more thing that makes Marat so loveable. So relatable. Marat Safin spend his last year on tour itching to retire. Especially in the first half of the year, he spoke frequently about how tennis was boring, coming across as a man who hated the sport that had made him rich and famous. He said he had no friends on tour, that he didn’t enjoy it. It was around this time I wondered if I liked Marat at all. Then his retirement grew nearer, and I think we all saw the truth. Marat Safin was a man once hailed as the next big thing. He must have been filled with hope and excitement after his grand slam success. Things just didn’t turn out that way for him. Over the years, Marat became someone known as a choker, an underachiever, and people wondered what could have been. When Marat spoke of tennis earlier this year like he did, I thought I heard hatred in his voice. But what I heard was disappointment and bitterness. Marat Safin won two slams, was number one, won fifteen titles, and finished his career inside the top one hundred. Looking back, what a marvelous career he had. At the time, though, we didn’t think so. It isn’t Marat that let himself down. Tennis let Marat down.

So heres to the most universally liked player of the last decade. The man that has made every fan smile at some point. Marat Safin is one of the most likeable players ever because he is one of the most human. There is no robotic like talent, no humbled victories, nothing we can’t relate to, or see within ourselves. He is a man noone hates. There is noone else like Marat Safin. No player can replace him. When we looks back on him in the future, it isn’t his tennis people will remember. It is the man.

Now what an achievement that is.

The following eaudio titles have recently been added to our OverDrive – eMedia Catalog. To access go directly to the eMedia Catalog or click on the links below.  The Library Catalog will not have the records for several weeks.

Emily Windsnap and the Castle in the Mist by Liz Kessler

Ford County: Stories by John Grisham

Wrecker: Isaac Bell Series, Book 2 by Clive Cussler

Open: An Autobiography by Andre Agassi

Breathless by Dean Koontz

Kindred in Death: In Death Series, Book 29 by J.D. Robb

Alex Cross: Alex Cross Series, Book 16 by James Patterson

Wishin’ and Hopin’: A Christmas Story Wally Lamb

This article represents a very personal viewpoint and is more of a Newsmule editorial than a news article as such.  Please feel free to add your comments below.

The issue of drugs in sport is one which becomes ever more contentious as the methods of evasion become increasingly sophisticated.

The recent case in tennis, where Andre Agassi admitted to lying to drugs officials in 1997 about the circumstances under which Crystal Methamphetamine found its way into his system, has opened up the debate in a sport which was previously considered relatively clean.

Agassi was always one of tennis' most colourful characters

The most sane point amongst the needless hysteria and media clamour was made by Agassi himself, who noted that such a thing could not happen in tennis in 2009 as the regulations have been tightened significantly.

The issue was essentially that Agassi, as he admitted in his autobiography, had taken Crystal Meth for recreational purposes and immediately regretted it – well, one the comedown kicked in anyhow.  Up until that point it appears he had a phenomenal time.  When the presence of the drug was picked up in his sample, he told testing officials that his drink had been spiked by a member of his team and the member in question had since been fired.  This was a lie.

That was 12 years ago and nowadays taking the wrong cure for a common cold can potentially lead to a year long ban from competition, so lying really won’t cut it any more.

What followed this startling revelation by one of tennis’ all-time greats was a raft of media interest and all sorts of questions being raised. Legitimate questions were aired, such as ‘how many other players have escaped a ban by lying to cover their tracks?’ – pun intended.

Predictably though when drugs issues are involved, there were some preposterous questions posed.  Some pondered whether Agassi should be stripped of his honours as he had now exposed himself as a ‘drugs cheat’.

Now, pardon my trademark flippancy, but any competitor who can take Crystal Meth and still compete for Grand Slam prizes should probably be given some sort of extra award for his efforts and should certainly donate his body to science.

Crystal Meth has been known to cause paranoia, anxiety, irritability, heart palpitations, cardiovascular problems and psychosis.  These are hardly the types of symptoms one would wish for at match point down in the French Open final.

So whilst Agassi was hardly a regular user, having tried it and realised he was about to throw his career away, the issue does bring the attention to the difference between drug types and the notion that all those who fail drugs tests are by definition ‘cheats’.

Adrian Mutu has managed to re-launch his career in Italy since serving his lengthy ban

Agassi gained no performance advantage from his brief foray into Crystal Meth, but tried it due to external pressures.  When former Chelsea footballer Adrian Mutu was sacked by the Blues after he tested positive for cocaine, he had gained no performance advantage.  Indeed, living life on London’s cocaine party circuit is highly likely to have a severely detrimental effect on the performance of any top sportsperson.

Mutu was treated as if he was Ben Johnson or Dwain Chambers – men who deliberately used drugs to gain a performance advantage over their rivals.  Some have looked for Agassi to be treated the same way.  But surely there should be different rules for those who have what wider society knows as ‘a drug problem’, rather than pillorying them along in a similar manner to those who have sought to cheat their way to victory?

Prominent sports stars have an exaggerated list of temptations in front of them and have to perform in extremely high pressure environments.  How many of us have their disposable income?  How many of us have been attacked by members of the public because we had a poor day at work, or work for an unpopular company? Most of us don’t get screamed at by 60,000 people when we go to work.  This is a potentially explosive combination.

These sports stars are no different to the rest of us in their methods of dealing with pressure, no matter what we wish to think.  They are, by the virtue of their talent, foisted into the position of role models.  This is not something they choose, but something that comes with their exceptional abilities.

Those who have sought escape from these pressures, rather than an illegal competitive advantage, should be offered help.  Mutu was not only fired, but has to pay his former employer around £15m for his ‘breach of contract’.

If such stars are role models for youngsters, then what does such an inflexible and hard line approach teach those youngsters about compassion in society?  Sport does not exist in a bubble and its attitude towards those with drug problems should reflect the ways in which wider society wishes to address the problem.  If one of your loved ones had a cocaine problem, would you prefer they received punishment or treatment?

To suggest that Mutu should never be allowed to play professional football again is nearly as idiotic as the calls for Agassi to be retrospectively stripped of his titles.

All sports need to separate the two different types of drug taking and consider how cheats can be stopped, but also how young men and women under huge amounts of pressure can best be protected.

By failing in this respect, the governing bodies of various sports are also failing to protect those who make sport the great money making spectacle that allows officialdom to recline in self-satisfactory comfort.

Maybe it’s because of the people I hang out with, but there has been a lot of talk about this Agassi fellow of late.

I remember when he was big in the early nineties, when acid washed jean shorts, florescent colors and frosted tips weren’t a sign to run as quickly as you could in the other direction as they are today, but actually considered cool.  Unfortunately, 60 minutes showed some advertising footage of Agassi from the nineties the other night, and I was disappointed because what I remembered was a hell of a lot cooler than the actuality.  Then came the later years, symbolized by a shaved head and a more serious persona.  By the time he retired, most of the people who had been so adamantly against him when he was a flamboyant and rebellious newcomer embraced him as one of the greatest players the sport had seen and many even went so far as to consider themselves fans.  And no matter how you felt about him, most sports fans remember his stirring speech when he retired from the sport at the 2006 US Open.

For a long time I didn’t hear anything from or about Agassi.

And then I hear that he’s written a book.  And that in that book he discusses his use of crystal meth.

Nadal and Federer were not pleased.  Navratilova was damning.

And after reading many articles, watching both 60 Minutes’ and ESPN’s coverage, I’m torn.  I can’t decide if this is a case of someone used to living years in the spotlight and being controversial having trouble fading into the background?  Or is this a genuine gesture motivated by the need to be honest and forthcoming?

Agassi doesn’t have bad intentions in writing his book and coming clean about what was going on behind the scenes throughout his tennis career.  Had it been me advising him, I would not have told him to refrain from writing or publishing the book, but I would have told him to wait.  Because it is a fascinating story and he is a compelling personality, and his story should be told and there are many waiting to soak it up.  But, I would have told him to wait until his name wasn’t as recognized among kids who now might think of the drug as less dangerous since he is associated with it and was able to play at a high level while using it.  To wait until a few more of his rivals had retired so those that competed against him might feel a little less cheapened by his blatant disrespect not only for the sport but for their contribution to it as well as their time and energy.

But now it’s out there.  And while part of me wants to appreciate the book for what he claims it is, an open and honest look into his life, I can’t help but think that the motivation was more than slightly tainted with that old Agassi urge to rebel.  To be noticed.  To be different.  To fight, even when you’re not quite sure who you’re fighting against.

Ok so in the interest of full disclosure, this opinion is coming from someone who never liked Agassi as a player.  I definitely rocked a pair of jean shorts with spandex underneath in the 10 and unders, but besides that, he annoyed me.  He was a hothead who cared more about flamboyant shots than winning and lacked worth ethic.  Actually, now I realize why I disliked him so much during the first part of his career – he was too similar to myself.  I was a hothead who care more about flamboyant shots than winning and lacked worth ethic.  Then during the second half of his career (post meth), he seemed incredibly fake with his lame kisses to the crowd after every match.  Now, with the stuff that has come out of this book, those lame kisses make sense…seems to me that he was thanking the crowd for putting up with him being an ass for a decade, and for being a methhead.

I guess that isn’t really what you were posting about…you seem to be questioning on whether or not this full blown memoir is a good idea, and why did he bother?  Before I answer fully, I’d really like to read the book first.  People need to take all these excerpts and interviews with a few grains of salt.  As in, he wrote the book for three apparent reasons: 1. A lesson for others so they don’t make the same mistakes 2. to make some dough 3. self-serving divulgence of information to clear his conscience 4. to get back in the spotlight.

Those reasons were not in order.  Anyone want to take a guesstimate as to the order of importance for those reasons? 2, 3, 1.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive, in my humble opinion.As for reason number 4, I really don’t know where that fits, could be in first position, could be in last position.

“But Jeremy, he already has so much money…no way is he writing this to make a buck.”  No, he is not writing this to make some extra cash.  He is writing this to make millions of bucks.  He is writing this because maybe it will be made into a ABC movie of the week HBO miniseries (do they do movie’s of the week anymore?)  That’s why all these excerpts are coming out…notice how they aren’t crazy revelations about his day to day training routine.  No, they divulge such info as the crystal meth use, hairplugs, hatred of his father…Agassi (and his publisher) are trying to sell freaking books.  Oh, and yes, Agassi and his wife have millions and millions of dollars (much of which they have done amazing philanthropic work with)…but he is probably relatively bored, and if telling his story is going to make him millions more, why not?

Wow, I really didn’t expect to come across so angry.  But I guess meth just does that to me.  I mean, talking about meth, not taking it.  Believe me, after seeing this clip, I steered clear.

credit : New York Daily News

Our  favorites two famewhores who will use anything in their obsession for attention explained us that they were totally made for each other.Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston appeared together in Times Square in NYC on Sunday. Levi was in town for his Playgirl shoot when he says he ran into Gosselin, who was in town filming commercials. The two posed for photos in near-identical pea coats. “You never know when celebrities turn up,” one onlooker marveled.We might accidentally see in horror and amazement Jon Gosselin showing it all before the camera for the next Playgirl issue ;a prerequisite for landing a scary movie gig in Hollywood.

Rupert Murdoch says he wants one of his children to succeed him at News Corp. “I am sure one of them will emerge,” he says. “It would be nice.” His family, with about 40% of the voting rights, will “have a lot of say.” Murdoch, 78, adds that he will step down “when I start to lose it.”Meanwhile he told Sky News interviewer David Speers that he will remove his news sites — The Wall Street Journal, The New York Post, The Times of London and many more — from Google’s search index.Watch the interview

AOL is appointing Susan Lyne, the former CEO of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, to its board of directors, as the online company continues to put its leadership together ahead of its spinoff from Time Warner. The spinoff is still expected before year-end.

Village Voice Media, the publisher of 14 local U.S. publications, including the 54-year-old Village Voice, is focusing on growth in Internet advertising, with its recently launched Voice Local Network. The Internet side of the business is up 75% from last year.

And Gabourey Sidibe a plus-size, African-American actress with less-than-perfect features – fits no casting agents definition of a leading lady. But she is not deterred. I never wanted to be an actress, said Sidibe, 24, the star of the just-released Precious, whose understated performance as an abused, 350-lb, illiterate teenager has garnered critical acclaim and unexpectedly catapulted her onto the shortlist of potential Oscar nominees

Andre Agassi is primarily concerned with Andre Agassi, according to a New York Times review of his ghostwritten autobiography Open. Reviewer Janet Maslinwrites that Agassi’s interests do not extend far “beyond tennis, more tennis, the misery of tennis, the way sportswriters misunderstand tennis and the irritating celebrity that tennis stardom confers.”

Other admissions from the book: Agassi took crystal meth in 1997, the worst year of his career; he’s lied about his love of tennis to interviewers over the years; and his frosted mullets may have included portions of toupee. Maslin calls the book “anticlimactic” but says it is saved by “somebody on the memoir team” with “great gifts for heart-tugging drama.

source: LevineBreakingNews

Who has the best tennis return of serve of all time?

Agassi, Connors, Borg, Andy Murray?

Well it’s simply one of the most important shots in the game and you need to get it right.

Why is it important?

Simple, if you can’t return well then you can’t break serve.

If you can’t return serve, you can’t break serve and therefore you can’t win.

And don’t forget you don’t need to hit screaming winners to have a great return you often just need to get the ball back in play – give your opponent a chance to miss/make a mistake.

Remember to win a point in tennis you just have to be the last person to have hit the ball in the tennis court!!

If you want to learn how to hit an attacking return of serve though, just check out the video below.

Yanina Wickmayer, world number 18 and US Open semifinalist, has been banned for a year after failing doping regulations

Wickmayer failed to tell doping authorities of her location on three seperate occassions. Her compatriot, Xavier Malisse, has also been banned.

Pretty bad form from the Belgian and highly suspicious considering her success this year. Really bad news for Auckland’s ASB classic, who was hoping to have her as one of the drawcards in Jan.

The naughty tennis players list so far:

Ernests Gulbis, Andre Agassi, Serena Williams, Yanina Wickmayer and Xavier Malisse.

Tut tut.

Delusione, tremenda delusione.

Ce n’è tanta per piangere, per lo meno se hai amato terribilmente quello che credevi un fenomeno, e molti lo hanno fatto, moltissimi.

Si perché le confessioni di Agassi non si fermano al cuore, arrivano all’osso, e fanno male. E più che altro non sono confessioni, ma ammissioni di colpevolezza.
E a poco serve dichiarare che no ce la faceva più, che lui è uno che non sa fingere perché gli si leggerebbe in volto, perché in realtà quando doveva fingere lo ha fatto.
Lo ha fatto quando si è dopato per ritornare il campione che fu, quando era decaduto e scivolato al 141° posto nella classifica mondiale, e guarda che strano, ce la fece.

E lo ha fatto anche quando da juniores prese le pillole che il padre gli dava per farlo stare più tranquillo.

Il fatto è che lo ha fatto e basta, non ci sono scuse, non ci sono alibi, e non ci saranno mai.

E se la calvizie già l’aveva a vent’anni e scendeva in campo con le parrucche poco importa, almeno dopo le altre confessioni, ma alla fine fa anche questo parte del gioco.
Perché la gente lo amava per quello che era, per quello che non mollava mai, per quello che non si arrendeva e tornava forte. E in realtà invece si è dopato, ha superato la depressione con le metanfetamine. Mentiva al mondo intero e a chi gli permetteva di essere un dio, a chi lo amava e gli permetteva di essere ricco, non depresso.
E queste sono solo le prime rivelazioni contenute nella sua biografia che ancora non è uscita in commercio.

Delusione, tremenda deusione…

So here I am. Finally getting down to writing my first blog after eons of procrastinating. But now I have made a promise to myself that I will be blogging once a week on different and varied topics in which I would like to chime my two cents in. And it is but obvious that my very first blog should be about my first love in life: the game of tennis.

I was shocked, to say the least, when I read excerpts from Andre Agassi’s forthcoming biography called “Open”. Right off the bat, I must admit that I have been a huge Andre Agassi fan all my life and for me he was, after Boris Becker, the most charimastic player of his era. So its a given that I followed his professional and personal life as he grew from being a rebel teenager to being the grand old champion and the great ambassador of tennis.

For the uninformed, Andre admits in this memoirs that he took crystal meth for a year or so starting in 1997 while his career was crashing and his marriage to Brooke Shields was falling apart. Morevoer, he lied to the ATP when asked to justify his positive drug test.

Firstly, I simply can’t understand why Andre would want to open a can of worms after 12 long years and especially since he isn’t even in the limelight anymore. Maybe it was the need to be in the limelight again that made him do that. Only Andre and his cronies know that.

Andre has made more money than anyother tennis player of his era in endorsements and hence he is rich beyond his wildest dreams. And he could have had more money, if he wished, if he was involved in numerous charitable organizations  So its hard for me to believe that he did it to increase the sales of his book. Books needs stories and the more controversial the story, the more the book will sell. But having heard Andre in interviews, I can say for sure that Andre comes across as a fairly intelligent and reasonable bloke. So I refuse to buy the fact that he wouldn’t have thought long and hard about this controversial revelations just to pocket some more money and not think about its effects on his reputation and legacy.

The judgement on Andre’s revelations in the tennis community seems divided. While players like Navratilova and Nadal have castigated him for cheating, others like Roddick and Murray seem to have been more cautious in their reactions. I,for one, know that crystal meth is not a performance enhancer and it could only have hurt his chances on the tennis court. So he obviously didn’t gain anything from taking that drug. Maybe he was depressed about breaking up with Brooke that he slipped into a negative phase where all he was looking for was a ‘high’. Or maybe, after holding a secret for so many years, he just wanted to unburden himself and get it off his chest.

Either way, my opinion on Andre Agassi doesn’t change. I don’t believe that his revelations will change how fans perceive the current crop of players and the game of tennis as a whole. I still believe that he was the foremost ambassador of tennis in the last 20 years and he has done more for humanity that any other athlete I have known. He will  always be an idol for me but in light of what he has revealed, I must admit that now I will have major doubts about his ability to think rationally and pragmatically.

Last week the tennis world was dealt an unexpected surprise as Andre Agassi’s publisher released a disturbing preview of Agassi’s autobiography.  It seems that one of the world’s most beloved players was a frequent user of crystal methamphetamine in the late 1990’s.

Our crack research staff has uncovered a source who claims to have met a person who is the cousin of a friend of a pizza delivery guy who has read an early draft of the autobiography.  This source reports to the mighty RACQUETY-YAK blog team that the usage of illegal drugs and subsequent weave of lies is just the tip of the iceberg.

If our source is accurate, on November 9th, when the autobiography “Open” goes on sale, we may learn more shocking revelations that promise to keep an army of ATP tour PR professionals busy for weeks.  In a rare move, the code of silence is broken and dirt is dished on many of Agassi’s contemporaries.   We have an exclusive preview of these revelations for our blog readers.

- In Chapter 3 we learn  Jim Courier was a poker buddy of Bruno Rebeu (Famous French Tennis Umpire).  Jim and Bruno regularly yukked it up at private monthly poker parties.  Bruno would introduce a disguised Courier to participants as “Harvey…Carrot top’s older brother.”

- In Chapter 5 it is unveiled that  Pat Cash  smuggled Cuban cigars to many major tournament executives in exchange for favorable draws, start times and court assignments.  He also enjoyed playing tennis in the buff.

- Chapter 7 supposedly reveals that  Stefan Edberg tortured kittens.  Who’d have thought?

- In Chapter 8 we learn Boris Becker listened to Shania Twain songs repeatedly on his walkman to mentally prepare for matches.

- Chapter 10 details  Michael Chang as a reputed ladies man.

- The 11th Chapter features claims that James Scott Connors secretly enjoyed bubble baths and pedicures the evening before big matches.

- Chapter 12 gives the lurid details of Ivan Lendl’s private hell.    He was stalked and referred to as “Man Candy” by supermodels Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer and Cheryl Tiegs.  They pursued him relentlessly. (Apparently Chang wasn’t their type).

- Chapter 15 describes Gilbert as a hell of a coach in spite of his twisted hobbies.  We learn Gilbert was a serial peeper who documented his peeps on film.  Agassi describes Gilbert’s collection of images as quite “eclectic” but is most disturbed by his extensive collection of former Oakland Raider players and executives.

Assuming our source is correct, this autobiography is going to sizzle.  We can’t wait for November 9th and hope you enjoyed this exclusive preview of what may be coming.

Bon, je crois qu’on est d’accord : Rebuts de presse a toutes les qualités pour devenir une rubrique récurrente. Il est en effet important, dans la déferlante ahurissante d’informations, et devant l’incapacité chronique des médias à hiérarchiser et mettre en avant les infos vraiment importantes (celles qui font tomber de sa chaise), que moi je j’intervienne.

Ce volume 2 va commencer par une frustration, celle de m’être fait brillamment piquer par une tapette de grande qualité et vive sur la balle les merveilleuses excuses de Louis Nicollin. C’est malheureusement le risque d’une chronique qui se veut compilatoire, et doit donc laisser s’accumuler au fil des jours les couches de merde que le génie humain déverse sur la tartine de la vie.

Mais bon, je vais me refaire, on n’est que mardi et j’ai déjà halluciné 22 fois, à tel point que je ne sais moi-même que choisir.

A n’en pas douter, l’info clé de la semaine réside cependant dans la parution prochaine des mémoires d’Andre Agassi, et surtout dans la remarquable campagne de teasing qui la précède, l’éditeur nous distillant jour après jour de faramineux scoops supposés nous mettre l’eau à la bouche.

Acte 1, Andre a consommé de la drogue (OMG), et s’en est sorti en blâmant son assistant, dont tout le monde savait dans le milieu qu’il était défoncé au dernier degré. Père fondateur de la doctrine de l’insu du plein gré, dite doctrine des deux Richard, Andre a donc prétendu avoir bu par mégarde un soda dans lequel son junkie de porte-raquettes avait dissous ses pilules roses. Et naturellement, les autorités compétentes ont jeté l’éponge (c’est cool, la vie de sportif de haut niveau. N’essaie pas de faire la même chose à la maison, tu risques de te faire baiser très fort).

Acte 2, et c’est là qu’on atteint les sommets, la révélation la plus hilarante et invraisemblable de l’histoire des révélations : Andre Agassi, angoissé par la chute de sa somptueuse crinière, portait une perruque !

Un petit rappel s’impose, il portait une perruque pour ressembler à ça :

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Je vous rappelle par ailleurs que la moitié inférieure de cette personne, pendant ce temps-là, arborait fièrement un short en jean neige dont dépassait un cycliste rose fluo – que je ne reproduirai pas ici par respect de vos nerfs optiques (et surtout parce que j’ai besoin de vos nerfs optiques pour avoir des lecteurs).

Andre portant une perruque, c’est donc un peu comme si je me faisais faire un dentier pour avoir une dent sur deux noire, et une dent sur deux absente.

J’attends avec impatience la prochaine révélation. Je ne vois qu’un truc capable de rivaliser avec ça, c’est s’il nous apprenait que Steffi Graf s’était fait refaire le pif pour aboutir au résultat qu’on connaît.

Mon deuxième champion de la semaine, c’est Henri Guaino. Parce que bon, c’est bien joli de toujours se faire cette pauvre créature sans défense de Frédéric Lefebvre, mais Henri, il vaut aussi son pesant de cacahuètes périmées. Franchement, le mec qui, au 21e siècle, dit un truc plus moisi qu’Henri Guaino au meilleur de sa forme, je lui offre son poids en boulettes de naphtaline.

Cette semaine, Henri Guaino est intervenu (parce qu’il a bien senti que ses lumières nous faisaient cruellement défaut) sur la question du grand emprunt du petit président qui va sauver la Nation en péril. Estimant que celui-ci relève d’un choix “politique et non technique” (jusque-là, oui d’accord), Henri nous affirme qu’il faut défoncer les compteurs, et faire un très très très gros emprunt même sans avoir la queue d’une idée de ce qu’on va foutre du pognon, et que personne ne peut prouver “scientifiquement” que 30 milliards c’est mieux que 50 ou 100.

Donc, si je te suis bien, on va tirer le chiffre aux dés, parce que c’est quand même mieux que d’avoir des projets à financer dont on aurait vaguement estimé le coût ? C’est vachement rassurant. Et c’est sans doute la garantie que cet argent sera utilisé à bon escient. Faites pareil pour le budget les gars, au lieu de vous emmerder à faire des projets de loi compliqués. Ah ? On me signale que c’est comme ça que vous faites, au temps pour moi.

Troisième champion, la gluante entité détentrice du honteux portefeuille. Apparemment, son débat sur l’Identité Nationale démarre sous les meilleures auspices, rue89 rapportant de nombreux cas de modération par le vide de tout commentaire remettant en cause la démarche, même en termes courtois.

Sombre entité, ma contribution n’ayant aucune chance d’être publiée chez toi, je la poste ici : si l’identité nationale a un quelconque rapport avec ta gueule, merci de m’indiquer au plus vite les modalités pour être expulsé vers l’Afghanistan.

Alors, noir c’est noir ?

Pas tout à fait, il est encore des raisons d’espérer un monde meilleur :

• En lisant la brillante analyse de Michel Rocard sur le fameux débat sur l’identité nationale (pour Noël, je veux un AVC soigné en Inde, s’il vous plaît)
• En constatant que des milliers d’adhérents UMP ouvrent les yeux et rendent leur carte, écœurés par certaines dérives de leur chef autrefois idolâtré. Ca sent mauvais pour XB aka Tulius Detritus, qui après avoir promis 500 000 adhérents en 2012, a dû retirer en catastrophe le compteur d’adhérents autrefois fièrement planté sur la home du parti frère du PC Chinois – je ne m’en lasse pas – comme ça peut-être que Nicolas ne verra rien.
• En se disant que, en dernier recours, la justice européenne tient la mer : elle vient par exemple de donner raison à une Italienne qui réclamait que ses enfants ne bouffent pas de crucifix à l’école publique. On notera toutefois que pour que l’Italie nous fasse plaisir autrement qu’avec un plat de pâtes, il faut l’aider un peu.
• En regardant Willem dessiner :

NB : idée cadeau pour Diego, un original de Willem, je l’aime.

Andre Agassi is no hero of mine. I fell for tennis when watching Roger Federer win the 2007 Australian Open. Andre Agassi had retired. Of course, I had heard of him. But without actually watching a player during his career it is hard to become a fan. From what I can tell, he is an amazing ambassador for the sport, and his retirement speech was incredible. Other than that, I do not really know much about Agassi. Which is why I am looking forward to the release of his book.

Publishers have been releasing sneak-peak type excerpts for a couple of weeks, and none has been more talked about than his drug confession.  Agassi’s confession that he took crystal meth has overshadowed Doha, Serena Williams’s return to #1, Serena’s book, and the Ernests Gulbis prostitute scandal. I imagine Gulbis is grateful, Serena not so much. What Agassi’s confession has done has turned most bloggers to their keyboards to either sympathise with him over what must have been a tough thing to write, or to condemn him and accuse him of money making motives.

Current players have also had their say on the matter. Andy Roddick and Andy Murray have come strongly to Agassi’s support. Roddick tweeted a note saying he still idolised Agassi, and Murray released a statement saying, amongst other things, that “I judge him as a tennis player; he was great, one of the best of all time. No one wants drugs in sport but everyone makes mistakes.”

Others have been less kind. Roger Federer expressed disappointment and reiterated that his sport must stay drug-free, but still had kind words for Agassi, stating he “has done a lot for tennis, both as a player and as a human being. Today, he raises millions of dollars for his foundation for disadvantaged children.” Roger’s rival, Rafael Nadal, may be Agassi’s biggest critic, coming down harshly on the career slam champion. Nadal questioned why Agassi chose to confess now, and suggested it would tarnish tennis. “Now that he is retired, he comes out and says this. It’s a way of senselessly damaging the sport.”

Personally, I highly doubt Andre Agassi had money or destroying tennis’s reputation in mind when he decided the confession belonged in the book. The ATP body that let Agassi get away with a positive drug test is no longer in control of drug testing, which is now governed by the ITF, a body completely seperate from tennis. I don’t see how a drug that is the opposite of performance enhancing, taken when Andre was at his lowest point, can possibly destroy tennis’s clean reputation. I really do not think this will hurt tennis at all, but it may hurt Agassi.

Being accused of being greedy isn’t a nice thing for anyone to go through. People are also calling on him to be investigated for perjury, as he lied about his drug use. All of this seems ridiculous to me. I doubt Agassi was in it for the money. I think he is an honest bloke who felt this was an important time in his life that he needed to confess to. Isn’t that simple? Do we really have to think so cynically about this? The simple fact is, Andre Agassi doesn’t need more money. As for the excerpt release, I imagine this was the publisher’s choice. Obviously, they are in it for the money.

I do not feel any differently about Andre Agassi after all the stories that have come out this week. If it were Roger Federer, Maria Sharapova, or Juan Martin del Potro, I would be very upset and disappointed. I hate drugs, and would hate to think of any of my heroes involved in them. I do not know if any Agassi fans are swearing off him because of this, but I doubt it. After all, isn’t he the loveable rogue turned generous nice guy? They loved that rogue for a reason. Good on Agassi for confessing and if it helps him sleep better at night, that’s great.  As for all the people wanting him to be punished for something that happened a mighty long time ago?

Let it go, people. Let it go.

When his book comes out I will be buying it. At the very least, we already know that it lives up to it’s title, Open.

Forget about the hybrid auto — Shai Agassi says it’s electric cars or bust if we want to impact emissions. His company, Better Place, has a radical plan to take entire countries oil-free by 2020.

“Hybrid cars are like mermaids. When you want a fish, you get a woman and when you need a woman you get a fish” (Carlos Ghosn, CEO of Renault-Nissan)

With the revelations about Andre Agassi’s drug taking and wig wearing past coming through thick & fast and the universal condemnation from other high profile players following close behind, there is only one question to ask.

Do you care?

Are you backing Federer, Nadal, Boris Becker and others who are shocked by the news and that the ATP may have covered up his positive drug test.

OR

Is this just an honest admission by a man who has clearly come a long way since then and is just mentioning these  things (1 of which cost him the French Open) to highlight exactly what went on in his eventful career.

After all, is this no different to reality tv??

What do you think and which side of the fence do you sit on (if any)?

Leave a comment below!