Ek Pathan Airhostess sy: “Aap kw shakl mari Biwi sy bohat milti hy.”
Airhostess ak zor say thappar marti hai.
Pathan:”Aadat bhe bohat milti hy.”

According to reports, Kareena Kapoor has revealed that while acting was her first choice, she always wanted to become an airhostess.

In a candid interview to a leading daily the actress said that she took a keen interest in studying law, where she joined Govt. Law College and ran away six months later because of the books.

Talking about her acting career, the lady went on to say that despite of the cold vibes that she currently shares  with Abhishek Bachchan, her debut film is still close to her heart. And though, Saif Ali Khan hasn’t cast her in his first production, the actress has no problems with his decision.

Apart from talking about her career, Bebo also went on to divulge some secrets about her relationship with the Chote Nawab.

Rumour has it that Khan actually proposed to Kareena everyday.

‘காதலிக்க நேரமில்லை’, ‘அதே கண்கள்’, ‘பறக்கும் பாவை’, ‘சிவந்த மண்’ உள்ளிட்ட ஏராளமான படங்களில் நடித்த பழம்பெரும் நடிகை காஞ்சனா

after being kicked out of the class for the fourth consecutive week by the same teacher for coming five to ten minutes late , i was forced to conclude that -

“females have an unnecessary repertoire of nonsensical emotions which they exercise on innocent and vulnerable males thereby deriving immense pleasure and satisfaction from the same.”

most women, and men who are trying to please these women, and the feminists might not agree with me and would plan out a protest with pink flags in front of my house. pink- because women like that color.

two decades of serious third degree encounters with women have taught me that aliens are way more simpler and compatible. it is seriously preposterous that we spend 94.3 % of our lives trying to please this very species. man, you must suck ! . 94.3 % – because i like that number.

my second conclusion follows the first (obviously!)

despite being very goodlooking and all, women will continue to be ‘used’ by men in someway or the other. all because of their extra emotionary glands. the irony is that women don’t know they are being used, in fact they feel that they are somehow ‘using’ men.

don’t believe me ? , then why don’t we have male cheerleaders dancing for women and air hosts serving women on flights?

you see i believe in equality of the human race irrespective of color, gender etc, but my belief or yours doesn’t change anything. now, that’s the sad part. i am totally against a fellow human being serving total strangers and running around getting muffins for them even if it is 40,000 feet above the ground, whatever be the pay. humans deserve more, let the bots do it, make machines which should do all the running around. a human life deserves much more.

warm regards.

Thin air! Well I’m talking about airplanes, travelling by air. Imagine how airhostesses would be punished if they made a mistake on flight after months and months of intensive training. Think about it…. after the new comer ‘Priya’ spills coffee on one of the passengers….

“This is your Captain Kenny Goone speaking, we would request all the passengers to stay still and fasten their seatbelts, as our newcomer has been punished and will be spending the rest of the flight on the left wing of the plane! You are requested to stay calm till the point the door is opened and Priya is being helped onto the right wing of the plane!”

That was a bit too far…..but what if

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard, we are currently travelling at 36000 ft above sea level and the outside temperature is -40 degrees. Since the outside temperature is not fit for punishing our newcomer ‘Sam’, he will be cleaning the toilets for the rest of the flight, kindly refrain from using the lavatories unless suffering from lose motions or nausea!”

It can get worse…but lets not get into that shal we?

]]> http://deepeshdhakad.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/my-flying-experience/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 08:39:24 +0000 DD http://deepeshdhakad.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/my-flying-experience/

Poem based on true experience during an American Airlines flight from Chicago to London.

Sept 4th, 2007

**************************************************
Sitting at airport, waiting for my flight
I had a strange feeling
couldn’t make out whether wrong or right

26hrs of travel is really bad
especially when you don’t have anyone to talk to
you can end up being complete mad

praying to god, I boarded the air case
Every little bit of me
hoping to see at least one pretty face

Just when I thought that God gave me no choice
“What would you live to have, Sir”
Said a very cute voice.

I looked at her and forgot that a question was being asked
She was there with twinkle in her eyes
While I stared at her like dumb grass.

As time passed, we exchanged a few smiles
I stole every possible look at her
while my heart created imaginary files

I wanted to believe, she attempted my heart’s rob
though I knew it clearly, that by smiling
She was just doing her job.

Finally I realized the worth of my ticket money
When with comlete sweetness he asked
“Will it be Coke or Sprite, HONEY !!”

What happened next was beyond my imagination
she said something good
complementing my presentation

I said, “Yes, Sprite is fine but can I have it in glass”
to which she replied
“With that dimple of yours, leave aside glass
I can even let you fly FIRST CLASS.”

I had no idea how rest of the time was spent
I floated happily in my dream world
as tough had a private jet on rent.

Finally I reached my destination, my dreams went white
I de-planed with all happy memories in my heart
and confidence that my initial “strange feeling”
was so aptly ‘RIGHT’

***********************************

Je checkt in, boarding… je stapt in en zoekt zenuwachtig je stoel (U37), rij U betekent hélémaal achteraan, pfhh. Dat moet jou weer overkomen. Al struikelend zoek je een weg doorheen de troep mensen die aan het plaats nemen is of toch een poging doet. Je probeert je handbagage boven in de voorziene ruimte te stoppen. Duwen, trekken aan die koffer van diegene die waarschijnlijk je buurman wordt voor de komende uurtjes. Eindelijk kan je plaats nemen. Buiten een roepend kind en de Duitse madam die tegen haar man aan het klagen over hoe lang ze niet had moeten aanschuiven… zijn er voor jou geen problemen. Nee, want hier begint jouw reis. Je zet je gsm af. Je maakt de riem vast. Klik! en je bent volledig klaar om op te stijgen… Alleen dit nog:

It’s your dream but you don’t know where to start.

Let me, first, say that it’s not that hard. But, it’s not as easy anymore either. It used to be, in my time. I was lucky that I didn’t have to go to any academy for training. But today you have to spend thousands on your training, and there’s nothing wrong with that. After all if people can go to college for an MBA then why not for careers in aviation and hospitality? Right? I agree but also feel that it’s unfair to those who don’t have the money.

So I am going to share what I know and even answer questions for those who want to know anything.

Keep checking and I hope I can give out good advice.

As I mentioned in an earlier post that I had flown to nagpur on a Jet Airways flight. It wasn’t incident free, for at the end of breakfast my trouser was flavored with milk powder.

It was a one day trip. So we came back to mumbai by a night flight by Kingfisher Airlines. Yes, Kingfisher. The same airline, the very rendition of whose name brings about a glazed look in the eyes of guys and has them mouthing inanities about the in-flight crew. A friend of mine who happened to see my ticket, gave the same reaction, which i found amusing to say the least. Quite some hype around that airline, I noticed.

It wasn’t until I was boarding the aircraft that the thought of all the hype being tested out occurred to me. As soon as I entered the aircraft, a very pretty lady in the famous red uniform, welcomed me aboard the aircraft. A good start, I noted. It wasn’t till I peered inside the aircraft that my jaw dropped, for inside was a thing of amazing beauty. No, not an airhostess but each seat had a mini-tv and headset! With 6 video and 10 audio channels. Pure bliss. What else can a guy ask for? Hmm…

In the starting address, Vijay Mallya urged us to fly Kingfisher again and assured us that each of the cabin crew is personally picked by him. Lucky guy!! Btw, he’s doing a very good job of it! Yana Gupta instructed us on the various safety measures in case the aircraft plummets to the ground. Nice.

The in-flight crew came out to ask our meal preferences. As I was fiddling with the TV, I hadn’t noticed the airhostess who asking the question. My mistake. As is with most guys,I have trouble enunciating when faced with incredible beauty. And as luck would have it, this airhostess was incredibly beautiful(the kind who could launch a thousand ships and some cars while at it). So when she asked me whether I wanted veg or non-veg, I was left gaping at her, before muttering a non-audible “non”, the other part of the word (which btw is “veg”) was swimming at the bottom of my stomach, struggling to get to my vocal chords. But being such a courteous young and pretty , almost angelic girl that she was, she just smiled and said, “why yes!! Certainly sir!” before handing me the food. An absolute angel!!

And after the flight landed, as we were disembarking from the plane, the angel(the air hostess) politely asked me to have a great day. Even considering that it was 11.30 in the night, I couldn’t disagree. And with a smile plastered over my face…I disembarked from the flight of good times.