New video from Intuition for the original version of Al Bundy, produced by Dibia$e . There’s a bunch of cameos & a good lesson to be learned! check it out!

Peep dumbfoundead’s cameo in the new MV from Intution for his song ‘Al Bundy’. The track is all about the morning after and is all about the humor. You can spot him at the 2:12 mark. This isn’t the first time dumb’s appeared in someone else’s video as some of you may remember his stint in DJ Honda’s MV from earlier this year.

gargamet et al bundy sont des faschos, étude sociopolitique très rigolote par nos compères de bienbienbien

Happy Slapsgiving, or Thanksgiving everyone.  At this time every year the writers of JoeOnTheTube get together in one post and talk about what they are thankful for as far as TV goes.  I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

DarinIsLost-

• I’m thankful for Lost.  It has survived long enough to come to its natural conclusion.  Most serialized TV shows get cancelled before their time and an ending is simply fabricated.  Let’s hope they end this right.
• I’m thankful for being able to pause live TV.  I can start an American Idol results show 2/3 of the way through, skip past all of the filler and still catch the ending right along with the rest of the world.

JoanieCan’tDance-

• This year I am thankful for Psych, How I Met Your Mother, The Office & 30 Rock for making me laugh; All the Real Housewife’s for sharing all the crazy drama; and to SYTYCD for the entertainment. I am also thankful for my DVR. Without you, I would never get to enjoy all of my favorite shows.

Morate-

• The return of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The near-heroic levels of sarcasm on this show warm my heart. It’s been nice to see the Seinfeld cast again too, but Larry’s the true star of the show.
• I’m not sure who gave the programming controls to the Metalheads out there, but I’d like to buy them a shot of Jagermeister. VH1’s That Metal Show and Fuse’s Talking Metal are standouts of the resurgence. Rawk!
• Via Netflix, I’m catching up on Dexter. I totally missed it the first time around due to my lack of Showtime. This show is dark and dirty, and did I mention the main character has very few redeeming qualities? I can see why the networks were so afraid of this show. Dig it.
• The wife is thrilled to have a second helping of So You Think You Can Dance this fall. And, as you married guys know, it’s good to have a happy wifey.

Her & Him-

• HER: Tony’s truth serum induced rescue of Ziva on the season opener of NCIS.
  HIM: I absolutely love NCIS. The season opening was pretty great.
• HER: The Good Wife.
  HIM: Have never seen The Good Wife – don’t need to, I already have one. (Love ya babe)
• HER: Tom DeLay’s broken whatever that finally bumped him off Dancing With the Stars since the judges were apparently too dumbstruck by his ridiculous old man Republican hip shakin’ booty to do it.
  HIM: Ok, I’ll say it, I’m ok watching Dancing With the Stars – the women’s dance outfits are worth the time.
• HER: My husband doesn’t watch NASCAR.
  HIM: I don’t get NASCAR – go straight, turn left, go straight, turn left – um, ok?!
• HER: Phineas and Ferb.
  HIM: Phineas and Ferb
• HER: My daughter has finally outgrown Noggin.
  HIM: Unfortunately, she’s picked up watching videos on CMT with her mom. :-/
• HER: PBS.
  HIM: PBS is now on our radar again.
• HER: There are only a few weeks when the Mavericks and the Rangers overlap. Even fewer since the Rangers blew the last half of the season.  (I’m not saying I’m thankful the Rangers blew the last half of the season. I was rooting for them. But come on, how freaking long can one season be? Oh wait, that question can be answered by the NBA.)
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV
• HER: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
  HIM: Grey’s Anatomy is good again.
• HER: That we only have one TV in our house and I am frequently reminded of the depths of my husband’s love. Case in point – last night, he watched Donnie Osmond take home the Glitter Ball trophy on Dancing With the Stars, even though the Mav’s were playing.  I’ll return the favor, of course, when I watch seven football games with him on Sunday. But that’s why God created DVR. Which I’m also thankful for.
  HIM: Yep, I love watching sports on TV

JoeOnTheTube-

• I’m thankful for my wife, who let’s me watch as much TV as I want.  I’m thankful for my newborn son whom I look forward to imparting my love of TV on, but I promise to make sure he goes outside and plays as well.
• I’m thankful that Ed O’Neill and Katey Sagal, or Peg and Al Bundy one of the most iconic married couples in the history of television, have found home on two of the best shows on TV.
• I’m thankful for the two best new shows of the season, Modern Family and Glee.
• I’m thankful for HBO and their wonderful shows True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Big Love, Bored To Death, The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency,and of course the upcoming mini-series The Pacific.
• I’m thankful that AMC has started producing quality television that rivals any other network on TV, including HBO.  Mad Men and Breaking Bad are both amazing.
• I’m thankful that Kurt Sutter created the world of Sons of Anarchy, and took us along for the ride.  As season two comes to an end I can honestly say that I believe it is currently the best hour of TV on.
• I’m thankful for the great people who write for this blog.  You make my life easier, and I really appreciate it.
• I’m thankful for this blog and all its readers.  When I started this thing about a year and a half ago I never imagined that anyone aside from a few of my friends and family would read it.  This month we’ve had over 30,000 visitors, and that blows my mind.  We have some big changes coming up, and I hope that everyone keeps coming back.  As long as you are reading we will be watching.

yeah I already posted this but God dam it’s so funny!

Who’s that riding into the sun.
Who’s the man with the itchy gun.
Who’s the man who kills for fun!
Psy-cho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad!
He sleeps with a gun, but he loves his son.
Killed his wife ’cause she weighed a ton… Psycho Dad!

Die restlichen Lyrics gibts -> hier

…and of course: It does get better than this

Welcome once again kids to our weekly recap of our myriad journeys through the internet.

This has become a highlight for all of us and we’re hoping you’re enjoying the links as much as we’re enjoying compiling them for you.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this week’s cheesecake.  The lucky lady this week is Julie Bowen currently starring on ABC’s breakout hit, Modern Family.  This is far and away the funniest new show on television and you’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re not watching it.  You may also recognize Julie from Boston Legal, Happy Gilmore or, most of the GonzoGeek staff’s favorite, Ed.

Stephe and I originally had Julie slated for cheesecake duty a couple of weeks ago, but had a hard time finding the appropriate picture.  We’re sure glad we waited.  I bet you are too.

Quick piece of Modern Family trivia.  According to Wikipedia, Ed O’Neill, who plays the family patriarch, Jay Pritchett, is  a black belt in Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.  You don’t mess with Al Bundy kids.

On to the links.

1. Rock beats scissors.  Pelican beats Bugatti.
2. Dokken Radio.  Rhymes with Rokken Daddio.
3. All you gotta do…
4. Copying Risky Business is risky business.
5. In honor of the Sam Kinison concert DVD I found at Big Lots today for $6.
6. America (sadly) asked for it:  More Seth McFarlane than you can handle.
7. Super Dave Osborne on The Tonight Show – dick jokes and nut shots.
8. The trailer for Kick-Ass kicks…well…ass.
9. Will the Inglorious Basterds ride again?  Will they learn to spell?
10. Yo Sherlock!  Esquire interviews Robert Downey, Jr.
11. Evil Dead heading back to theaters in 2010.
12. And you know Ash will come armed…or handed.
13. Murderdeathkill!
14. Carrie Prejean threatens to walk out on Larry King.  Yeah, like she’s the first 20ish blonde to do that.
15. And she wasn’t having sex in that video.  Wow!  Even she can’t stand to be in the same room as her.
16. This one if for John.
17. Only if the swirls make a trio of 6’s.
18. Colts.  Patriots.  Sunday Night Football.
19. I want mine to be adorned with Hourman.
20. Take not girls.  Not all vampries are sparkly and sweet like in Twilight.
21. I blame Justin Long.  Wait!  Was that two Ed references this week?
22. Even Fox News is fact checking Sarah Palin now.
23. ED HAT TRICK!
24. Sean Hannity admits Jon Stewart was right.  In a related story, Hell freezes over!
25. He wasn’t extorting.  He was pitching.
26. Spider-Man 4 villain rumorsssss.
27. The Mayans weren’t the only ones to prophesy the end of the world.
28. David’s Iraq deployment blog.
29. And finally, something for all you golfers out there to put on your Christmas lists.

Dies ist eine US Serie, die von dem US-Sender FX produziert wird. Im Mittelpunkt der Serie steht Clay Morrow (Ron “Hellboy” Perlman), der Mitglied einer Motorrad Gang im San Francisco Bay Gebiet ist. Clay entstammt dabei einer Dynastie von Verbrechern und war somit schon immer für ein Leben im Untergrund bestimmt. Der größere Handlungsbogen spannt sich darum, ob es ihm gelingt, dieses Leben, das einzige was er kennt, abzustreifen.

Auf die Serie bin ich gekommen, als mein Lokaler DVD-Store vor kurzem die Vorgängerserie „The Shield“ und die erste Staffel von „Sons of Anarchy“ bewarb (Als US-Import). Vorher kannte ich ehrlich gesagt weder eine der beiden Serien noch den Sender FX. Eine echte Neuentdeckung in jeder Hinsicht für mich. Auf Serienjunkies.de kommt Sons of Anarchy auf Platz 261 der Beliebtheitsskala womit es ganz klar zu den unbekannteren Serien gehört.

Ende der 90´ziger gab es im Orange County (Kalifornien) einen großen Rocker Krieg und auch heute, bei uns in Deutschland kommt das Thema immer mal wieder hoch, zumindest bei Spiegel TV. Das dürfte wohl auch der Grund sein, warum ich mich für die Serie entschieden hab.

An dieser Stelle mache ich einmal das Fazit am Anfang und sage, dass die Pilot Folge eigentlich nichts besonderes ist. Sex and Crime und ein Hauch von Intrige wehen die Serie, ohne Sie wirklich voranzubringen, fast wieder aus. Es hat mich also nicht so vom Hocker gerissen.

Zu Gute halten möchte ich der Serie drei Dinge: Erstens, Pilotfolgen fallen  immer ein wenig anders aus, als die spätere Serie.  Zweitens, sind die Kommentare in anderen Blogs zu der Serie durchweg positiv ausgefallen. Drittens, finden sich bei YouTube viele Ausschnitte aus Serie in der der Audiotrack gerippt wurde. Die Musik scheint also den Geschmack der Masse zu treffen.

Bleibt als Letztes zu sagen, dass in den USA bereits die zweite Staffel gesendet wird und eine dritte wohl schon in der Mache sein soll. Die Amis haben Gefallen an der Serie gefunden.

Im Mittelpunkt der Serie steht ein Motorrad Club namens “Sons of Anarchy” in der fiktiven Stadt Charming. Während sie am Tag ganz normalen und gutbürgerlichen Arbeiten nachgehen, gehens sie nachts und am Wochenende ihrer kriminellen Passion nach. Hauptsächlich heißt das: Verkaufen von Waffen an rivalisierende Gangs. Jack, der Hauptdarsteller der Serie (Charlie Hunnam), ist Mitte oder Ende zwanzig und in dem Club aufgewachsen. Sein Vater hat den Club gegründet und sein Stiefvater ist zurzeit der President des Clubs. Seine Mutter Jenna, übrigens der wohl stärkste Charakter in der Serie, wird von Katey Sagal gespielt, trat schon als Al Bundy’s Ehefrau Peggy auf. Für so eine gute Schauspielerin hätte ich sie dann doch nicht gehalten.

Wednesday is always a great night for TV! 

• Law & Order:  SVU - NBC - http://www.nbc.com/Law_and_Order_Special_Victims_Unit/
• Eastwick – ABC – http://abc.go.com/shows/eastwick
• Ghost Hunters - SyFy - http://www.syfy.com/ghosthunters/index.php
• The Middle - ABC – http://abc.go.com/shows/the-middle
• Modern Family - ABC – http://abc.go.com/shows/modern-family
• Cougar Town - ABC - http://abc.go.com/shows/cougar-town
• Nip/Tuck - FX- http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/

On Law & Order:  SVU:

After a crime scene photo of a murdered teenage girl rapidly becomes an Internet phenomenon, the police initiate an investigation with the victim’s father, Greg Dunne. When Greg points the detectives towards Martin Gold, his daughter’s suspicious therapist, it turns out that Gold’s alibi is airtight. While Fin and Munch are busy tracking down the girl’s stolen credit card, Dr. Melinda Warner and Detective Elliot Stabler discover that one of Gold’s other patients has broken into the morgue. The case takes an unexpected turn, revealing a sinister prescription for murder at the hands of unlikely suspects.

I am still sticking to the belief that SVU is the best Law & Order on the air today.  It’s a shame that the original isn’t as good as it used to be.

On Eastwick this evening:

Roxie is determined to fulfill Chad’s last wish, if she can figure out what it is; Joanna deals with her lingering questions about the kidnapping ordeal; Kat realizes that Bun’s old friend (Cybill Shepherd) may have the answers she needs.

Perhaps we will finally get some interesting info fro Cybill Shepherd’s character’s turbin?

Tonight on Ghost Hunters:

 The West is about to get a whole lot wilder with special guest Eddie McClintock from Warehouse 13.

I love when TAPS has guest investigators!  Although no one is going to ever compare to the great Meatloaf!

Then on The Middle:

Axl accidentally breaks down the front door and Mike insists he fix it; Frankie may be forced to wear a dog suit.

This show is surprisingly relateable.  It’s really a nice sitcom for ABC to be airing!

Next on Modern Family:

The family comes out to support Manny’s newfound interest, fencing; Phil is determined to find Luke’s hidden talent.

I’m glad to see that Al Bundy has work nowadays.  Plus this show is the only thing like Arrested Development on the air!

And on Cougar Town tonight:

Jules reluctantly accepts a date with an older man just to get out of the house; Grayson makes a bet with Jules that she can’t spend a day by herself.

I hope that I am not the only person watching this sitcom, it would be a shame for it to be cancelled.

And finally on the season premiere of Nip/Tuck:

Christian struggles to understand a patient with big anger-management issues. Sean and Christian learn how Matt is earning an income, despite his attempts to keep it hidden from his family. Teddy arranges a camping trip with Sean, Annie and Conor in order to ease family tensions.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust Teddy.  I wonder why…  Oh yeah!  She’s a psychopath with a false identity who seems to be hellbent on killing Sean and his kids!  Sean needs to wake up and realize something is up with that woman!

Comment below!

Tonight’s episode of Modern Family was especially humorous. Admittedly, I was disappointed with the lack of Halloween coverage in the episode. This is Halloween week after all, and as entertaining at the episode was, it made me miss most of  Hocus Pocus, and that really is a tragedy.

In fact, the episode (entitled “Run For Your Life”) chronicled the first day of school. Not Halloween at all. There were notes of Halloween, however, as Cameron and Mitchell had Lily dressed up in one hell of an outfit in one of the opening scenes, and when they took her to the doctor one of the walls seemed to be painted in a Halloween theme.

So, disappointing, but I suppose that the modern family very well may be Jehovah’s Witnesses anyway.

The beauty of Modern Family and this episode is really in the humor of the one (or few) liners. Jokes don’t need to be played out over 5 minute segments (though, when they are they work, too).

One such joke was in regards to Manny’s first day of school. He had taken a traditional Colombian poncho to show his friends, but Jay was trying to talk him out of it because he thought he would be made fun of (he claims the only places you can wear a poncho are at Niagra Falls and on log rides). When he got in an argument with Gloria, this fantastic exchange went down:

Gloria: Batman doesn’t get made fun of and he wears a cape! A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around!

Jay: Batman doesn’t get made fun of because he’s a muscular genius. Manny can’t even make it to the top bunk.

Of course, the delivery helped tremendously in the humor, but there’s no denying that that is just plain funny.

“Run For Your Life” was full of such exchanges and one liners. Some regarding Lily (“Without you we wouldn’t even have a baby to injure,” for example), more regarding the poncho (“I thought you said it looked like my neck was wearing a dress,”), and some regarding Phil.

We also see fun things like Haley hitting Phil with the car and Lily in a “ghetto fabulous” afro wig in this episode. It turns a little cheesy meaning-of-life style at the end (think Scrubs style voiceover but a little more out of place), but it’s still totally excellent.

I thoroughly enjoyed my half hour. Modern Family gets a hard earned B+ this week.

mariés 2 enfants

Not married with children XXX, parodie de la série mariés 2 enfants (en français) pourrait être le plus drôle film porno de l’année : il a atteint la place du numéro 1 des ventes de DVD pour Adult DVD Empire.
Quelques critiques :
NightMoves Magazine : “le plus drôle et le meilleur de tous les films de télévision parodie.”
Fleshbot.com « not married with children XXX “est une grande parodie porno . Si Fox faisait 22 épisodes de «not married with children XXX” je les regarderait.”

Le résumé : Comme Al craint que son emploi soit en péril, avec l’arrivée d’un champion de la vente de chaussures, il fait appel à sa fille Kelly pour un chantage sexuel.

Avec Kagney Linn Karter, Brittany O’Connell, India Summer, Madison Scott, Brooke Belle, Emy Reyes, Allyssa Hall, Kora Cummings, Peyton Leigh et Kimber James et Dane Cross, Nick Manning, Dino Bravo, Brad Hardy, Barrett Blade et Eric suisse.

Doing it tuff. 

All you need is a good pair of shorts.

-Räusche

Sa luam niste intrebari destul de frecvente intr-o relatie precum:

“La ce te gandesti?“,“Ti-a fost dor de mine?” ,“Ma iubesti?” sau “M-ai inselat?”. Intrebari care mie, personal, mi-au fost adresate adeseori in ultimul timp.Sa le luam pe rand.

La ce te gandesti?

Un bun raspuns la aceasta intrebare stupida l-a dat Al Bundy care a fost intrebat de sotia lui, Peg:  ”Daca as fi vrut sa stii as fi vorbit in loc sa gandesc”.

Ti-a fost dor de mine?

Parca ar fi o intrebare retorica.Principalele raspunsuri ar fi “nu” sau “da”.Pai … cum ar fi unul negativ? Pana la urma aveti o relatie, nu? Trebuie sa-ti fie dor de persoana cealalta. E normal.Nu? Chiar daca tie nu ti-a fost … ar fi trebuit.Si ajungi sa zici da.Ca doar vrei sa eviti sa dai detaliile necesare unui raspuns negativ.In modul acesta eviti un moment penibil pentru amandoi.La un raspuns afirmativ, in cel mai fericit caz nu trebuie sa te mai explici, pe cand la unul negativ , da.

Ma iubesti?

Raspunsul asteptat de cele mai multe ori este: da. Oricare altul este gresit. Pentru fericirea celuilalt, desi o fericire iluzorie, ii oferim raspunsul asteptat.Si toata lumea e fericita.Poti fi acuzat de ipocrezie .Si pe buna dreptate.

M-ai inselat?

Ce te face sa crezi ca o sa-ti zic adevarul? Nu sunt la detectorul de minciuni.Daca nu ai dovezi sunt sanse mari ca sa neg.Nu am nevoie de complicatii.Nimeni nu are.Daca vroiam sa stii nu asteptam sa ma intrebi tu ci faceam eu primul pas.

Asadar daca o persoana vrea sa-ti impartaseasca gandurile, daca ii e dor de tine,te iubeste sau te-a inselat o sa-ti spuna.Daca vrea.Nu e nevoie sa o interoghezi tu! Cel mai probabil o sa primesti un raspuns convenabil pentru tine …

B.YONEST NEWZ.. Iz it ME Or…? PART 3

Iz it ME Or… Is Courtney Cox-Arquette B.A.C.K. like never before? I don’t know if y’all been paying attention to Wednesday Night Television. First and foremost, “Modern Family” is effin amazing. I mean down right HIGH-LARIOUS comedy. This wacked out family filled with “super hot” foreigners, a gay couple, a dad who doesn’t hold his tongue and another father who’s going out of his way to fit in as “the cool dad.” I haven’t seen such television like this in a LOOONG TIME.. This sh*t is funny. That’s not the point of this article.

Is It ME Or… Is Courtney Cox sexier than ever. Her show “Cougar Town” which follows “Modern Family” boasts Cox as a single mother in her 40’s attempting to rekindle her “sexxy” flame after her divorce. She’s chasin’ y0ung tail and finding her self unsatisfied by what life’s delivering. Nonetheless, she’s feisty, funny and sexier than ever. If you haven’t taken the time to watch “Modern Family” and/or “Cougar Town,” get your life together. ALL HAIL.

ANONYMOUZ

Crimes against Obesity

I’m childish, yes

And I will get drunk in frontier land

Hoy se ha vuelto a cumplir la 3ª ley de Fonselot, aunque un poco antes de lo normal, y además se ha unido a ella la maldición de los Bundy, esa que asegura que todo golpe de buena suerte precede siempre a enormes calamidades…

Esta maldición es especialmente efectiva cuando el sujeto admite tener suerte, cosa que yo no he llegado a decir en voz alta, aunque más de una vez he pensado que por fín estaba en una buena racha…

PD: Por lo menos ahora sé a qué temperatura funde el vidrio… ¬¬

If Cougar Town was on the bottom of the scale for premiere episodes, I think ABC’s new sitcom Modern Family was at the complete other end of the spectrum.  This show is going to be good.  Everything about it is funny, and I’m looking forward to adding it to my Wednesday night line-up.

Modern Family deals with three seemingly unrelated families.  First there is the “normal” family, the Dunphy’s.  The dad isn’t nearly as cool as he thinks he is and the mom, played by the wonderful Julie Bowen (from Ed and Lost) is just trying to make sure her 15 year-old daughter doesn’t end up as wild as she was.  Cameron and Mitchell are the gay couple that has just adopted a baby from Vietnam.  Ed O’Neil (Al Bundy) plays Jay Pritchett who has married a much younger woman from Columbia, Gloria who has an 11 year-old son named Manny who is a hopeless romantic.

There were so many great moments in last night’s episode.  Some of my favorites were:

• Gloria telling about how she comes from a beautiful village in Columbia that is famous for all the murders
• Anything with Manny.  His silk shirt was awesome, and I love that the 11 year-old wanted to stop and pick flowers for a 16 year-old
• The whole scene on the plane with the “Baby and two cream-puffs”
• Cameron introducing the baby as the “Lion King“
• Jay being told to keep to the right with all the other mall walkers, and the outfit he buys because of it.

Alone I think any of these families would be funny enough to have a good show all on their own, but together they make for a great show.  In the end we find out that they are all actually one family, that despite being some what dysfunctional seem to love each other very much.

Of all the new shows I’ve watched thus far this season, I’ve liked Modern Family the best.  It’s funny, it’s original, and it has something else that no other show out there has that I can’t quite put my finger on.  I’m really looking forward to more episodes of Modern Family.

So, I don’t normally watch network TV sitcoms. That’s really not my thing. When I do, it is, like, the hilariously bad 2 and a ½ Men, which is deplorable, I know, but whatever.

I do, however, enjoy watching ABC Soaps. Don’t ask me how that happened, because I don’t know. I blame the many months I spent unemployed with nothin’ to do and nowhere to go. Anyway, since I watch two hours of ABC 5 times a week, I’ve been catching the promos for Modern Family and Cougar Town for weeks, and wasn’t really interested, cos, like I said, network TV sitcoms really aren’t my thing.

The stars aligned tonight, though, to get me to sit in front of my TV for ABC Comedy Wednesday, and I decided to bring you some of my thoughts on what I watched tonight.

Modern Family

Modern Family is a little mockumentary which stars a bunch of people that I only know through other roles. Notably: Al Bundy (Ed O’Neill), The Angel From Raking Leaves (Julie Bowen), and The Smile Guy from In Good Company (Ty Burrell).

The show follows three different families, who are all related through Al Bundy up there. His character, Jay, is newly married to the much younger, much hotter Gloria. Jay’s gay son, Mitchell, is married to the hilarious Cameron, and they’ve just adopted an adorable asian baby. GAYS AND ASIAN BABIES. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR? Jay’s daughter, Claire, is married to Phil, and together they have three children — Haley, who is a typical teenage girl, perpetually embarrassed by her “cool” parents; Alex, the middle child who likes getting her sibs in trouble; and Luke, who hilariously has to endure the punishment of being shot with a BB gun by his father.

I wasn’t expecting this show to be as funny as it was. Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson as Mitchell and Cameron were hilariously awkward about bein’ the gays with the asian baby. Ty Burrell was so funny as the cool dad who just… isn’t. I was less interested in Jay and Gloria’s interactions.

Basically, it was a cute pilot. I’m looking forward to seeing more. I definitely had a couple LOL moments while watching, which never happens, so it was a pleasant surprise.

Cougar Town

Cougar Town, starring Courteney Cox as a 40-something single-mom (Jules) who is fed up with men her age dating women half her age, was as predictably meh as it was expected to be.

I mean, re-read the premise there for a second. Does that sound like something that would be funny? No? Good, cos it wasn’t. The only shining beacon of hope for this show is Dan Byrd, who stars as Jules’ teenaged son, and whom I have loved seemingly FOREVER. I mean, since he was on friggen like Any Day Now on effing Lifetime a zillion years ago. Love that guy!

Carolyn Hennesy guest stars as one of Jules’ coworkers, and I was just excited cos she plays Diane Miller on General Hospital and I LOVE HER. That was an embarrasing confession. Whatever, don’t you judge me.

In any case, there were a few funny moments of Cougar Town, and I’m willing to give it another chance, but tonight’s premiere was predictable and mediocre. Alas!

So, that’s that. After Cougar Town, ABC premiered Eastwick, and that was totally my cue to turn on the Golden Girls, because that crap is just too corny for me. Give me Practical Magic any day, jerks!

Did you catch these shows tonight? What else are you watching this season? Tell me what you think in the comments!

When does greatness come to a man? I am not sure, but it hasn’t found me yet.

If I were “great” I would be much better at dealing with my 12 year old daughter. She looks strangely familiar to me, but somewhere along the way she turned into a torment of estrogen.

My eldest Jim looks to me for guidance in dealing with her as if he even looks her way we get tears and wailing that can only be compared to the screams at the monkey house at Forest Park Zoo. I guess the only difference is nobody throws pooh at each other like the monkeys at the zoo do. I have nothing useful to offer him other than I am just as baffled by her as he is.

The other day, I got home to the phone ringing. I hate the phone. It is never for me and I talk on it enough at work to satisfy any needs I have to be verbal. It was Jimmy’s soccer coach explaining that we had missed the first soccer practice, even though the jackass never called to tell us there WAS a practice, and that the first game was two days away. I picked up a pen to write the message and I cannot find any paper to write on. This is a constant irritant to me. No freaking paper to write a message on.

Eventually, I found a notebook lying on the kitchen table. I opened it desperately looking for a blank page. I noticed that there was scribble an writing on the pages and beyond recognizing those words, I paid no further attention.

I did find a blank page and I wrote down the required information. I then noticed that it was my daughter’s journal that I was writing in. Let’s get this straight before I get slaughtered for invasion of privacy. It was just a notebook with no working on the cover and it was laying on the kitchen table. It was not my intent to invade my daughter’s privacy, it kind of just happened.

So, after dinner I asked to speak to Sara privately. I said to her, “Honey, I have a confession to tell you.” I told her about the phone call and looking in her journal for a piece of clean paper. I then said, “I am very sorry for looking in your journal.” 1. If you don’t want your journal read, don’t leave it out. 2. It was not my intent to read your journal. 3. Fuc*ing is spelled F-u-c-*-i-n-g, not F-u-k-e-n. If you are going to use it, use it correctly.”

Subtle as an air raid, huh?

I never have those “Mike Brady Words.” Mike Brady had all the right words and the right counsel for his kids. I often feel like I am stuck somewhere between Al Bundy and Archie Bunker. Mike Brady always made the kids feel better. My kids look at me like I am the bearded lady at the circus. I wonder what they will say about me when they end up on Oprah?

My wife claims that I have no editing equipment and I guess that is another fault of mine. If I think it, it tends to come out of my mouth. I always thought that I just said what everybody else was thinking, but I have come to discover that my thoughts are far more crude and bizarre than most people.

This is another one of these conversations that I walk away from wondering if others go through the same thing? Am I the only father whose kid cannot spell the “F” word correctly at 12? Should I be concerned that she is using it? Does she use it socially? Is Elvis alive? Does she no longer trust me because I used her journal?

I left the conversation confused.

I went to where I always go when confused. My beer fridge. I always feel that my beer fridge understands my problems better than the other major appliances in the house. Maybe it is the feeling of goodwill I get when I open up that first crystal clear beer and swig away the memories of being mediocre.

Another day, another conversation, another moment that cements my place in mediocrity.

Pathetic dads are different to Corporate dads in that they seemingly rejoice in their inablity to care for their children. The big question is: Are they proud of their ineptitude or are they emphasising their mistakes so they won’t be given the responsibility again?

Natural Habitat: Stranded between the kids bedroom and the bathroom wondering whether to attend to the poo spillage, the child’s tears or search for new clothes.

Not likely to see: Out and about. These dads can’t dress their child and don’t know why their child would want to get out anyway. On top of that mum has probably worked out that either the child or dad would get lost out in the wild of the surrounding streets.

Related to: Corporate Dad. Both rarely pick up a power tool because last time they did blood was involved.

Quote: Well, you didn’t tell me that she needed to be fed whilst you were out. How was I to know what to feed her?

Role Models: These guys are in every movie and tv show ever made. They are to parenting what lice are to a dog.

• Tim Allen from Home Improvement.
• Homer Simpson from the Simpsons.
• Al Bundy from Married with Children.
• Ray Barone from Everybody loves Raymond

So far:

Pram Marching mum
Tracksuit mum
Wanna-be hippy mum
Corporate Dad
Martyr mum
Corporate Mum
Stay at home dad
Hippy Mum