Directed By: Ben Affleck

Written By: Chris Terrio (screenplay), Joshuah Bearman (article)

Starring: Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin and John Goodman

Synopsis:

You can bullshit your way through anything.

Musings:

I saw this movie as an ode to Movember. The centerpieces of Argo are the fantastical mustaches that adorn the faces of several characters. These weren’t little ratty prepubescent fuzz balls; these were the manliest of face muffs you can imagine. This made it for me, the rest is just icing.

I am not sure if I can forgive Ben Affleck for Gigli, but times have changed. Here, he made a very tolerable film that has an engaging story. He also cast some Hollywood heavy hitters like Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin and John Goodman. These guys put on a good show and kept me entertained. The back and forth between Arkin and Goodman was classic.

I think Affleck did a great job of creating a suspenseful atmosphere that put you in the crux between mob and hostage. The details that were put into recreating 1980s Iran were flawless and the mobs were down right frightening. He also used real found footage and mixed it into his dramatization in a seamless barrage of historical embellishment.

That being said, there were story lines that were left to the audiences imagination in lieu of more interesting characters and the sap hung heavy on the the tree if you know what I mean? It’s all about the mustache.

Problem: It all seemed way too easy

Mood for watching: Canadian

What to eat and drink: Beans and maple syrup

If I made it: I would have used maple syrup instead of Hollywood sap

Why watch: Because it is your Movember duty and you can also donate to my amigo Fredy http://mobro.co/fredy514

Directed By: Tony Kaye

Written By: Carl Lund

Starring: Adrien Brody, Christina Hendricks, James Caan, Lucy Lui and Marcia Gay Harden

Synopsis:

Being an educator is some tough ass shit, yo.

Musings:

Who remembers American History X? That crazy skinhead movie? Anyone? That movie was a powerful artistic expression of violence that I had not seen before. Remember the curbing scene? Tony Kaye pretty much put Ed Norton’s name on the map with that. So, when I came across this film I was expecting big things. Adrien Brody is no slouch and neither is the rest of the start-studded cast. In the end they got was a halfway decent film that had a rather unconventional method of story telling.  Who needs convention anyway? Some people, but not this guy.

There were moments where I felt like Kaye was on his pulpit preaching at me like a southern evangelist hell-bent on debunking evolution. Teaching delinquents is unrewarding! Amen! Teenagers have it tough! Halleluiah! So much sadness in the world! Praise the mighty lord! I guess the message is way better that the gentle stroking of Dangerous Minds that answered its entire question by throwing in a catchy Coolio song.

This isn’t for everyone but what is? If you keep your mind open and want to see some great acting then throw caution to the wind. If you’d rather hear the sweet sounds of Coolio then re-watch that ‘classic’.

Problem: Tim Blake Nelson needs to say more

Mood for watching: Flaky

What to eat and drink: Lentil Soup

If I made it: I’d chop a few of the characters like they were suey

Why watch: Because Coolio isn’t in it

Directed By: Walter Salles

Written By: Jose Rivera (Screenplay) & Jack Kerouac (novel)

Starring: Garrett Hedlund, Sam Riley and Kristen Stewart

Synopsis:

If your best friend takes advantage of you, write a book about them and get wealthy off their misery.

Musings:

Finally, the great fable of travel and youthful exuberance hits the screen. This poetic journey leaps off the pages and fits quite nicely into a period piece wrought with old cars and young adults rebelling against the old guard with their loud music and Jazz cigarettes, their juke joints and alcohol soaked nights and their irresponsible lascivious behavior. What a group to keep company with, the beat poets, speaking in elongated prose and large hand gestures. The hangers-on could only observe but not penetrate the wall of the gentleman who sought truth in being wanderers, bound only by their imagination and ability to steal the occasional automobile.

Who were these young actors that walked a mile in shoes so big only an elephant could wear? Garret Hedlund? Sam Riley? (Actually, he is amazing and also played Ian Curtis in Control). The acting was an immaculate attempt at reeling in personalities that live in legendary status, but who aren’t alive to confirm the reality of their being. Because of the beauty of the book, every audience member will indeed scrutinize their performance as the images jump off the screen and are processed through firing synaptic transmissions. I give all the actors a V for valiant.

I was instantly transported to my early 20s when I read this tale and took my own journeys through uncharted waters and for this I am happy to have seen this film. The director Walter Salles seems to have a decent grip on the biographical road trip. An interesting niche to have, that seems to lend itself to immaculate cinematography, although in this go-round he seemed to focus more on the cities as points of interest rather than the enchanting American landscape.

Maybe this film will get the book into the hands of another generation although somehow it landed into mine 43 years after it was written?

Problem: Not enough of the rails

Mood for watching: Nostalgic

What to eat and drink: Salt Peanuts and rye

If I made it: There would be more landscape

Why watch: The Bee and the Bop

Directed By: John Hillcoat

Written By: Nick Cave (screenplay) and Matt Bondurant (novel)

Starring: Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain, Shia LaBeouf and Guy Pearce

Synopsis:

If you make inebriating substances illegal, people will die.

Musings:

This film comes at time where the public seems to be interested in the bootlegging of 1920s USA. Is there some kind of comparison that can be made between the organized crime of that time and the modern day drug cartels? Just make it all legal or tax the hell out of it and people will sort themselves out. Good solution? I have no idea, but it seems to work with the devil’s brew.

What this film does differently is cover the life of bootleggers not in the big city but rather in the depths of the country. This gives the film an interesting angle on the roaring ‘20s and different than the one we’re used to (think Boardwalk Empire).

What surprised me most about this film was that I didn’t hate Shia LaBeouf or Shia The Beef, as I like to call him. He was okay and that is good enough for me. He couldn’t touch Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain or Guy Pearce who we all amazing.

I give John Hillcoat a nod because I think he’s a great director. I don’t think Lawless is nearly as good as his film The Proposition, but I could see why he’s going in this direction and I like him and Nick Cave working together. They will do some damage in the future.

I’ve managed to say absolutely nothing. Enjoy!

Problem: The Beef was in a few too many scenes

Mood for watching: Drunk

What to eat and drink: Kale and Moonshine

If I made it: More Gary Oldman and cowbell

Why watch: Because liquor is quicker

Directed By: Paul Thomas Anderson

Written By: Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Phoenix and Amy Adams

Synopsis:

If you wake up in a place you don’t recognize, get the shit out of there.

Musings:

P.T. Anderson is the Michael Jackson of the film industry, save for the weird kid stuff. He manages to release hit after hit while increasing the complexity of his work. Maybe this time it’ll be his Oscar?

I always talk about acting since it is the center of the art. This movie is chock-full of talent popping off the screen and burrowing a hole into your brain. Philip Seymour Hoffman is gripping. He is such an amazing actor but it’s hard to put your finger on what it is that makes him amazing. He’s not a Daniel Day-Lewis whose face almost morphs with the character. PSH almost always looks the same (except for Capote and Flawless), he just sells his commitment to the role. Joaquin Phoenix has redeemed himself with an amazing physical performance from his hunch to the way his lips hang. This is his gift to his audience after that debacle, I’m Still Here. Finally, hats off to Amy Adams who can convey so much anger and frustration through a single facial expression – she lets you read her mind.

Sure there are moments that drag you down, but they just give you a chance to explore the subtext. The Cinematography is beautiful; Mr. Mihai Malaimare Jr. who is a relative newcomer handled PT’s film quite well in the absence of Robert Elswitt.

This film left me feeling like I need to watch it again, which is a great sign. The many layers of the movie are incredible – every move in the movie seems to tell you something (e.g., like the way a character picks up a hat) – there is no way to fully wrap the brainsicle around it. The end result is a movie that makes you think.

Go see this piece of genius and prepare to be taken back to a Post WWII landscape. Finally, great music courtesy of Johnny Greenwood, shpanks!

Problem: Difficult story to wrap up

Mood for watching: Cray cray

What to eat and drink: Spotted dick and an Old Fashion

If I made it: I would have added a few more scenes

Why watch: Because you enjoy all things good

Directed By: George Lucas

Written By: George Lucas

Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Alec Guinness and Carrie Fisher

Synopsis:

The hardships of moisture farming amidst a complicated political galactic landscape.

Musings:

This is a very difficult movie to review. It is a beloved favourite of many, but also has a strong cultish opposition to those who prefer a more complicated style of Science Fiction. So, right off the bat I’m going to say that I am in the “Star Wars is rad” category.

In the 70s, there emerged a new style of American cinema, the Hollywood Blockbuster. Although Star Wars is not the first, I think it exemplifies a grandeur that had not been seen at that point. That is why everyone lost their shit when it came out and why many continue to watch it and loose their shit.

This film really has it all. Strong acting, amazing special FX for the time, a larger than life soundtrack, crazy sets, a palatable story and beautiful cinematography.

What struck me this time around was how great the soundscape was. I recommend watching it with good speakers blasting in surround sound.

I’m not saying that George Lucas was at all original with anything in this movie. The Jedi philosophy is all too similar to Buddhism and John Williams definitely ripped a lot of his famous score from Gustav Holst’s planets. That being said, he took all of these unoriginal ideas, including the story line and mashed them together to create something so amazing and creative.

Problem: The newer episodes couldn’t live up to the old

Mood for watching: Forceful

What to eat and drink: Wamp Rat and Yoda Soda

If I made it: There would be a few more Vader scenes

Why watch: To connect with your inner child

Directed By: Jay Roach

Written By: Chris Henchy and Shawn Harwell (screenplay)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis and Jason Sudeikis

Synopsis:

Super Packs are like performance enhancing drugs; they help you win the race.

Musings:

Lame… Not funny enough… Sad… Waste of talent…

These are the words that I muttered to myself while watching this poor excuse for a comedy. Apparently the film is over an hour and a half long, but there is, at best, 8 minutes of funny. Is that what cuts it these days? I would rather have watched those 8 minutes on YouTube and spent the money for the ticket on 2 pints of beer and watched people getting hit in the groin with various blunt instruments.

What makes me disappointed by this waste of celluloid is that comedic talent like Will Ferrell doesn’t come along every day. That man is every shade of hilarious and even he couldn’t carry this film. Zach Galafsnackis is also funny and his contribution was nothing more than a desert oasis. So who screwed up? I go to the source, the script.

Shawn Harwell wrote for the show East Bound and Down, which is a knee slapper. How could he screw up this badly? The trailer had Will Ferrell punching a baby! That was hilarious. Maybe the studio watered it down? It’s hard to believe that happened, it was definitely on the filthy side of comedy. So what was it?

Pointing fingers and getting to the bottom of the suckage isn’t helping it suck less. If you were on the fence about seeing this movie, stay on the side of not seeing it and put up some barbed wire to warn others.

Problem: John Goodman and Brian Cox are too talented for this film

Mood for watching: Ticklish

What to eat and drink: Mushrooms and coffee

If I made it: It would be funnier

Why watch: Because you made a mistake and didn’t read this review

Directed By: Joss Whedon

Written By: Joss Whedon (screenplay) & Stan Lee & Jack Kirby (comic book)

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Ruffalo and Scarlett Johansson

Synopsis:

Two powerful forces battle for control of a powerful energy source. Sound familiar?

Musings:

I’m not going to lie, I had a great time watching this light hearted comic book romp, filled with heroes and villains a plenty. I don’t have much of a personal connection to any of these characters (like I do with Batman) so I let myself have fun, which sounds strange given my history of ripping on movies.

The special FX straddle a fine line between over the top and campy, which gave it a comic book feel. The Avengers isn’t dark, even though they fight evil. Rather, it just feels like a team of strong people, some with superpowers, having fun frolicking and fighting evil. They do seem like they’re having too much fun.

The standout performance goes to Mark Rufalo who didn’t say much but played a great Bruce Banner/Hulk. The rest of the cast was fine, Sco Jo and all. My only negative comment is saved for Jeremy Renner who played Hawkeye. Renner’s character is about as useless as he is. How did he crack the Hollywood scene? He’s even been given the keys to the Bourne franchise. I don’t know him personally and he may be a really nice guy but shit damn he’s a terrible actor. I will have to skip an Avengers sequel if he’s in it, so I hope he disappears quickly.

Story is simple, acting is simple, FX are good and everybody loves Joss Whedon (don’t really know why), sounds like a recipe for success. Enjoy!

Problem: Sco Jo’s accent

Mood for watching: Hyper

What to eat and drink: Caviar and Snake Oil

If I made it: Nick Fury would recite Ezekiel 25:17

Why watch: To let loose

Directed By: Joe Johnston

Written By: Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely (screenplay)

Starring: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell and Tommy Lee Jones

Synopsis:

America builds a superweapon against the Axis of Evil.

Musings:

Not to shabby at all. Like cilantro in a batch of fresh salsa, I was pleasantly surprised by this superhero comic book flick. I’m not overly into the patriotic American bullshit but the character was created in 1941 so I give them a pass. Captain America can kick some serious ass and that shield of his is magical.

I like the casting of Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from The Matrix) as Red Skull the super villain, he was pretty bad ass and his little sidekick played by Toby Jones was perfect. I feel like they nailed all of the characters from Stanley Tucci all the way to Hayley Atwell who looked perfect for the time period.

Truth be told, I personally have a soft spot for superheroes and supervillians. That’s not to say that I won’t be critical of them, I just give them more of a pass because they aren’t trying to be anything other than the special effects extravaganzas they are (accept for Batman because that should be perfect). I did appreciate that they didn’t go overboard on the terrible one-liners.

Problem: It was only made to set up the Avengers

Mood for watching: Patriotic

What to eat and drink: Spinach and Castor Oil

If I made it: The movie would have ended later in time

Why watch: Vibranium

Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Written By: Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan (screenplay)

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Tom Hardy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anne Hathaway and Gary Oldman

Synopsis:

Gotham City is a craptastic place to live.

Musings:

I will admit that I had a great time watching this film. How can you not when you’re sitting in an IMAX theatre with your senses being inundated by a larger than life screen and sound so big that it makes your organs vibrate. It was a rush and I recommend watching in this format.

Christopher Nolan’s Batman is by far the biggest in terms of action and special FX, but in this third installment I found myself a little disappointed. Yes, it was a fantastic piece of action-comic spectacle, but was it really as great as the fanatics think?  Sequels are rarely as good as the original with the exception of a few gems (Back to the Future and Indiana Jones).

So what didn’t I like? The story line was too similar to The Avengers, which started off the blockbuster season. Bane was an okay villain, but doesn’t stack up to Heath Ledger’s Joker, but who can? The vocal effects made him difficult to understand and he sounded too much like Darth Vader with a peculiar accent. Also, some of the major plot points were weak sauce, like bland Indian food. In the back of mind, I just hoped that this final Nolan Batman would blow the roof off of comic movies.

That being said, the acting was fantastic. I’m going to miss Christian Bale’s version of Batman, I think the character has definitely benefitted from him. Michael Caine was a touch on the weepy side (belivable weepy) and I had a hard time keeping a straight face because I couldn’t stop thinking about Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon’s impressions of him from The Trip. Also, a quick shout out to Gary Oldman, JGL and Anne Hathaway (never thought I would give her a shout out), who were perfectly cast in their roles.

Finally, the opening sequence was top notch; with a great cameo from Aidan Gillan a.k.a. Tommy Carcetti from The Wire. The stunts/CG made me giddy. It was the most impressed I have been since staring into the eye of the great T-Rex in Jurassic Park.

Problem: Not dark enough

Mood for watching: Psyched

What to eat and drink: Twix and Root beer

If I made it: I would have pit Batman against Maxie Zeus or The Mad Hatter

Why watch: For the spectacle

Directed By: Spike Lee

Written By: David Benioff (screenplay and novel)

Starring: Edward Norton, Barry Pepper and Philip Seymour Hoffman

Synopsis:

I always thought there were 24 hours in a day. I guess I was wrong.

Musings:

This film is a slice of the protagonist’s life before he spends 7 yeas in the clink.

Normally, I like Spike Lee movies better when he also writes them. Luckily, 25^th Hour seemed to be a good compromise: it is still set in the New York City that he knows so well, he managed to sneak in a little diatribe about racial tension and used his floating character dolly shots.

Philip Seymour Hoffman, or as I know him,  PSH, is one of the most talented actors in the biz. His list of classic characters that he has played is immense (Big Lebowski, Twister and Capote). He has rarely disappointed me, even when he takes on a shitty movie like Pirate Radio. In 25^th Hour, he manages to capture the subtlety of his inappropriate High School teacher character, while giving him some humanity. I will gush more about PSH in the next film I review that he is in (I think he might be in the next Hunger Games, boo hiss).

Also in this movie is Barry Pepper, who may be one of the most underrated actors. He puts together a heavy performance, with a tough exterior shell and tender interior, like a lobster or crab. I hope I get to work with him one day.

What makes this film great is the simplicity of the story and how it relies on mood alone to carry it. If I was being sent to jail for 7 years, I think it would suck as much as Edward Norton’s character makes you feel.

A great one to revisit if you’ve already seen it and if you haven’t then what are you waiting for?

Problem: Crucial element unexplained

Mood for watching: Gangsta

What to eat and drink: Street meat and champagne

If I made it: I would continue making movies with PSH in them

Why watch: It’s a Spike Lee Joint

Directed By: Goran Dukic

Written By: Goran Dukic (screenplay) and Etgar Keret (short story)

Starring: Patrick Fugit, Shea Whigham, Will Arnett and Tom Waits

Synopsis:

Purgatory doesn’t sound so bad. A nice place to vacation, like the Hamptons.

Musings:

I’ve always wondered what happened to Almost Famous star Patrick Fugit? This movie is what happened to him; accept now he has a sweet five O’clock shadow.

The only thing that makes me more frustrated than watching a horrible movie is watching a movie that has potential but for whatever reason the director is afraid to take it somewhere interesting. Maybe that’s why director Goran Dukic hasn’t made anything since Wristcutters.

The clever setting in this movie provides a spark of intrigue. The journey begins and then expectations are not met. I wouldn’t be as hard on this movie if the expectations created, shifted focus and took the audience to a completely different destination, but the train was loaded and never left the station.

What’s craziest about this whole endeavor is that somehow Dukic managed to dupe Tom Waits into being part of his lackluster sideshow. Tom waits was great but neither him nor his amazing music could save this.

I completely understand that making great independent cinema is extremely difficult, but once you’re in the belly of the beast you might as well give it a go. There’s no way that good cameos and bad Russian accents are going to get you anywhere.

Poop!

Problem: It doesn’t go beyond the creative setting

Mood for watching: Cracked out

What to eat and drink: Cinnamon toast crunch and Pims Cup

If I made it: The soundtrack would only have songs by artists who committed suicide.

Why watch: Because you’ll watch anything with Tom Waits in it

Directed By: Sarah Polley

Written By: Sarah Polley

Starring: Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen and Sarah Silverman

Synopsis:

The grass is always greener, but is it really? Maybe if you put some kind of crazy ass fertilizer on it?

Musings:

I really wanted to like this movie. In theory, I think that Sarah Polley is cool, she drinks at Crooked Star and all that good stuff, but let’s face it, in reality, she’s a suck ass writer/director. Ya ya ya, she is Canada’s little sweetheart from Road to Avonlea but I can’t give her a pass. I don’t want to be a hater but I have no choice.

Somehow she landed 3 very talented people, but didn’t manage to utilize them at all. Michelle Williams was endearing as she always is, but that has nothing to do with the movie and more to do with her hipster wardrobe. Seth Rogen and Sarah Silverman were caged comedians that weren’t allowed to come out and play. I’m not sure what the atmosphere was like on set, but it seemed like nobody had any fun making this movie.

If you’re going to make a movie where the city is such a central focus (like Toronto was in this movie), then make the travel in the city realistic. Nothing annoyed me more than the incongruence in travel from point A to point B, where the hell is the Toronto continuity?

Also, using the title of a Leonard Cohen song doesn’t automatically make your movie cool.

Problem: Lame discussion on how fickle relationships are

Mood for watching: Frustrated

What to eat and drink: Tacos El Asador and an espressado

If I made it: Seth Rogen and Sarah Silverman would have 8 min to rip on each other

Why watch: For an extremely saturated Toronto look

Directed By: Ridley Scott

Written By: Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Logan Marshall-Green, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba and Michael Fassbender

Synopsis:

Evolutionists had it all wrong.

Musings:

How come it’s difficult for me to be positive about these films that spend a bazillion dollars on special effects and have gargantuan sets? The difficulty with reviewing blockbusters is that it’s all been said. The story is weak but the movie is visually stunning, blah… blah… blah…  How many conversations can we have about the films’ overt commentary on religion and evolution, that’s as sharp as a butter knife handle? As I ponder these questions that sit heavy on my bosom, I will suck it up and take a leap.

The world that Ridley Scott creates is pretty, pretty, pretty cool. His mix of high-end computer graphics and real world Kubrick aesthetic, a la 2001, while somehow remaining true to Alien circa 1979, was real tasty. It reminded me of where Lucas went completely wrong with the new Star Wars. A slow clap is in order.

The performances were pretty good. The standout was Michael Fassbender who again had a very Kubrick feel to his acting. There are elements that scare me in his performance and remind me of what could go wrong, as we continue to build computers that are more powerful than our brains. Isn’t it funny to look back at books and movies that describe dystopian futures where elements have some how come true? 1984? Back to the Future? Must be some kind of prophecy or are we just creating history based on these elements?  Let’s hope Prometheus isn’t indicative of what’s to come.

Problem: The new Ripley isn’t as rad as Sigorney Weaver

Mood for watching: Paranoid

What to eat and drink: Bread pudding and cola

If I made it: I wouldn’t half ass the philosophical elements

Why watch: To see how Ridley makes coin

Directed By: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass

Written By: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass

Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Susan Sarandon and Judy Greer

Synopsis:

Smoking an excessive amount of pot helps connect all the dots.

Musings:

The Duplass brothers, Jay and Mark are heavy hitters in Mumblecore, which usually features non-actor actors and semi improvised naturalistic dialogue. This film attempted to stay within genre lines but included some well-known actors. The film was well cast. Jason Segel and Ed Helms portrayed a disconnected brotherly relationship and Susan Sarandon made for a fantastic neurotic mother.

I was impressed by the films simplicity, as it tried to communicate with the audience. The story remained simple to keep its message clear. Overall, in this movie, the Duplass brothers hit some good moments and then missed some others. The cool thing is, you can see their progression as writers and directors.

My recommendation comes with a bit of reluctance, as I don’t think this film is for everyone. If you want constant entertainment then don’t watch it.

Problem: Not funny enough

Mood for watching: Muted

What to eat and drink: Ice cream and champagne

If I made it: There would be more about Jeff living at home

Why watch: Ed Helms has a sweet goatee

Directed By: Brad Bird

Written By: Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec (screenplay)

Starring: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner and Simon Pegg

Synopsis:

I swear we didn’t blow up the Kremlin!

Musings:

I don’t know the origin of, or the reason for the action-genre comedic one-liner, but I wish it didn’t exist. Okay fine, if your name is Schwarzenegger then you get a free pass, but his dialogue was like that because he didn’t speak English too good. This craptastic action flick was full of them and it had me pulling my hair out.

The acting was lackluster, save for Jeremy Renner who stunk up the screen like a moldy dish sponge. Tom Cruises’ performance was reminiscent of his role in Top Gun as “Maverick” – he has played the same guy since ‘86 with the exception of Tropic Thunder and Magnolia.

The storyline was weak at best and the entire film felt like an ad for Apple. What I took away from this was; if you own an iPhone or an iPad, you’re pretty much qualified for the Secret Service or some other elite spy squad.

The most confusing part was the fight between the two women in the film. How can they kick so much ass in dresses that are so short and heels that are so high? Is this another pre-requisite for accepting missions that are impossible? And if these missions are so impossible, why do they always complete them?

Problem: Simon Pegg wasn’t funny

Mood for watching: Distracted

What to eat and drink: Abalone and a chocolate Frosty

If I made it: The Russian guards would be a lot tougher

Why watch: Tom Cruise doesn’t age

Directed By: Steve McQueen

Written By: Steve McQueen and Abi Morgan

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan and James Badge Dale

Synopsis:

An important rule to live by: don’t download or look at porn on your work computer.

Musings:

Okay I get it Michael Fassbender is well endowed. I think he’s a tremendous talent but seriously, keep your pants on for at least one film. It wasn’t his member that disappointed me, it was his performance. I thought it was flat, however I don’t lay all the blame in his proverbial court, the director, Steve McQueen can share it.

Shame is the sophomore film for director McQueen. Not only does he have a wicked namesake, he’s got talent oozing from his pores. That’s why I’m surprised that this film would follow his first (Hunger), which was the cream of the crop. I feel like he was trying to go for a controversial subject (sex addiction) but totally missed the controversy. If you’re going to tackle this subject either satirize it or make the audience uncomfortable. The only image that made me uncomfortable was Fassbender’s character taking a leak without lifting the toilet seat. Unless he has the best aim in the world, he really needs to lift that seat. McQueen’s central character was cliché and lacked the audiences’ sympathy that he was looking for.

The greatest thing this film has to offer is a fantastic tracking shot of Fassbender jogging in NYC.

Problem: Bach’s Prelude and Fugue No.16 in G minor BWV 885

Mood for watching: Lonely

What to eat and drink: Scrambled eggs and a dry martini

If I made it: I wouldn’t

Why watch: It’s really big