So, as you all know, I’ve been very distant as of late in the online world. I haven’t been blogging, tweeting, or facebook updating. Someone very close to me was diagnosed with Leukemia and I haven’t had much desire to do anything but spend time in prayer. I’m not the only one either; there have been and are thousands of people all over the country and world praying for Alexis Jane Battisti, the cute/sweet/amazing/beautiful/loveable little 2 ½ year old girl! And God is sooooooo good!

Ashley, Alexis, my Mom's hand, and my dog Pepper!

Three weeks ago, on December 3, 2009, Alexis was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. She went in the previous day for a normal check up and blood work. They found out her numbers were extremely low and ordered more tests the following day, and then were told to rush her to Childrens Hospital in Pittsburgh, PA. You can read more about the initial testing and results at the following links: Urgent Prayer Request and Alexis Update: Day 2.

Ashley (Alexis’ amazing mommy), Alexis, Ashley’s mom, and other family members spent 9 days in the hospital as Alexis underwent test after test, and treatment after treatment. She received blood transfusions, spinal taps, bone marrow aspirates, platelets, and numerous other things. Thanks to God being so amazing, Alexis was able to go home earlier than anticipated on Friday December 11, 2009. Things have been rough since then. Due to the steroids and other medication that Alexis is on, she hasn’t been the same little girl. She eats everything in sight, even more than I do…and I’m a 265 pound 6’4 ½” 24 year old!!! The medicine makes her grumpy and not very Alexis like! And it’s taking a toll on her mommy, the rest of her family, and those that are close to and love her! I visited Ashley and Alexis on Tuesday and it was hard to see Alexis with no cheer and no care about anything. But I was able to make her smile and giggle a little, and Ashley told me that I should feel special because I’m one of the few that can make her happy! And that made my day to see both of them smile and giggle! And yes, I feel very special!

Today, Ashley, Alexis, and Alexis’ daddy traveled to Childrens Hospital for a Chemo treatment, and the results they got were truly breathtaking. I received a text message from Ashley that said:

“Everything’s great, no leukemia in her bone marrow, not even a trace!!!! So she is officially in remission!”

I have not been able to stop thanking God ever since then. I spoke with a good friend of mine who is a nurse and she said that she has never heard of the numbers dropping from 90 to 0 in just 3 short weeks. My take on that is that God was definitely involved and was working His Wonders! We serve an awesome God, and He is sooooo good to His children!

Thank you all so very much for your continued prayers, and keep them coming. This is not over yet, but it is a huge step in the right direction. When God is in the driver’s seat, nothing is impossible, as we’ve already seen in the last 3 weeks! Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

-          paulg

Happy Holidays to you! Anastasia and I are visiting our families so we just wanted to wish you all a wonderful holidays. Actually we did have a story to put up but Anastasia got a little too drunk and forgot. You can blame her later for no enjoyment this Christmas Eve! ha. Here are some oldies but goodies to keep you entertained over the holidays!

Love,

Alexis and Anastasia

Wing (Wo)man

How I decided topless dancing isn’t bad

My Open Letter to Alexis, 3.22.09

A whole lot of crazy

Ava, Mia, Sienna, Isla, Stella, Eva, Bella, Isabelle, Peyton, Keira, Alexis, Millie, Aaliyah, Nevaeh, Gemma, Mya, Aria, Leah, Brooklyn, Lucia, Mackenzie, Poppy, Harmony, Manaia, Scarlett, Abby, Maya, Lilly, Riley, Hazel, Savannah, Natalie, Ayla.

1999

Paris, Brittany, Megan, Rachel, Nikita, Claudia, Natasha, Brianna, Ashleigh, Monique, Michaela, Shannon, Cheyenne, Stephanie, Melissa, Jamie, Casey, Rebekah, Jessie, Michelle, Morgan, Tegan, Tiana, Renee, Julia, Kelsey, Alicia, Jennifer, Katelyn, Crystal, Tamara, Tara.

Happy birthday, Anoop! This is a birthday gift from us, your fans. Your fans all over the world submitted videos and photo messages, and Diana (@diananoop on Twitter) put them all together into this video montage with a help from Anne Marie (@amc1988) and Brooklyn (@brooklynoop). You will also see that a few of your American Idol friends (Kris Allen, Michael Sarver, Alexis Grace, David Hernandez, Gina Glocksen) and your little clay creature pal wanted to wish you a happy birthday as well.

We are a creative, funny, and good looking bunch, aren’t we? ;-p

We hope you have a great birthday with people you love. This is going to be a great year!

Love,
Your fans all over the globe

A few scenes from the video montage include:

ETA: There have been quite a few birthday wishes for Anoop on Twitter. Here are a few examples:

David Cook is also celebrating his birthday today He asked his fans to donate to the National Brain Tumor Community instead of any birthday gift.

Read part one: Asshole of the year

I have done the walk of shame many-a-time… but the run of shame? Never happened before tonight.

Oh you cunning little New Zealander, you. How the hell did you convince me to stay?

I was not about to be left alone with the player New Zealander after his roommate went to bed, so I decided to go home. New Zealander had to escort me back up the dock to free me from the locked gate. We made small talk which was nice. After all, I was trying to be his “friend”.

He fidgeted with the lock, thus encouraging more conversation. By the time we got through the gate, our conversation had taken a deadly turn into personal sharing and emotional story time. It was no longer about work, weather, rainbows, and various topics acceptable to discuss with strangers in awkward social situations. He shifted the tone into loneliness, his Alaskan girlfriend, hopes and whimsical dreams. Shit. How did it get so far so fast? I was just trying to be pleasant.

Ten feet away from my car. I was ten feet away from freedom and almost released from the obligatorily numbing pleasantry exchange. But no, of course the conversation took a nose dive for the worse:
New Zealander: Yeah, this job can be lonely sometimes when you move around all the time

Me: If you are lonely, fix it. I don’t buy the whole shit theory that your job makes you lonely. If you miss your girlfriend who just went to Boston, go visit her. Okay. Well…have a good night. I’m sure everything will work out.

Attempt to exit stage left.
New Zealender cue tears.

Me (aside): Fuck me sideways. He’s crying? He’s fucking crying? I’m so fucking close to my car I could touch it and he’s CRYING? Damn this shit night will be longer than I had hoped.

He literally cried. Wept. Man, this player is fucking good because I fell for it. He cried! Everyone has a weakness and mine just happens to be tears. When I see eye ducts flowing freely with beads of saline and emotion, I want to fix it.

Tears streaming down his face, he started to explain his “situation.” He was lonely. He wasn’t sure he liked the job. He doesn’t want to work and travel all the time…sob.

I did my best to be a friend. And I thought I was doing a damn fine job. It was now 3:30 am and cold outside.

We sat outside talking at the gate until about 4am, when we decided to go sit on the warm little boat and finish our talking. By this time I was hooked. This “poor” guy was so broken. I actually, legitimately felt bad for him.

He grabbed a sweatshirt for me from the “big yacht” and then we went to go sit on the 30-footer, or small yacht. He laid out on the bed and I sat on a chair on the bed so we could finish talking. I prided myself on being JUST A FRIEND. I did not want to date or hook up with him in anyway, I still knew he was an asshole.

I kept thinking as I sat there “please don’t fall for me right now, please don’t fall for me right now.” I knew he would. I have some sort of a weird power with my eyes that when used properly I can totally seduce men with the blazing blues. (*note: New Zealander later told his roommate that my eyes were what made him do it.)

As he gazed into my eyes, he started saying shit. “You are an amazing person.” “This feels really right.” “You are very beautiful you know that.” To which I responded, “yeah I know I am thanks.”

I kept saying to him over and over “I will be a really good FRIEND to you.” It didn’t work.

Next thing I knew he was kissing me. I let it happen for a second and then pulled away thinking ‘please think this is a mistake and don’t do it again.’ I really wanted him to not kiss me. I knew I had no control over the situation. If he kissed me, I’d definitely kiss him. Why? Because kissing is my most favorite pastime and he’s hot. So I was just hoping he would have realized it was a mistake. But he didn’t.

He pulled me up to the bed where we continued making out until 6:30am!!! I totally KNEW BETTER! WTF. I totally fell for all his lines and I knew it was such a bad idea to do that. Good news is I didn’t sleep with him.

I do have to admit, it was super fun making out with the hot New Zealander. But what followed, was utter humiliation. At 6:30am I said it was time to go home so we got off the boat. Oh! Wait! Here is a fun side note: we weren’t supposed to be on that boat and his boss was awake now. Awesome. I was shuttled back onto the small boat to wait. We had to WAIT until the boss went to bed and stopped watching the cameras. New Zealander went onto the big yacht to watch his boss and communicate with me via phone as to when I could get off the boat. Talk about humiliation.

A call around 8am told me to RUN! The boss had gone to the bathroom and I had to literally run down the dock. After sitting alone on the small boat for an hour and a half. I was pissed. I knew I’d never hear from New Zealander after that. I knew it was a bad idea. I don’t regret it, because it was fun. Plus New Zealander was quite attractive with his seducing  accent, a strong jaw resembling Eric Dane’s and McDreamy eyes… But still, I would like a little revenge for having to do the run of shame.

-Alexis Patron

This was the 6th year that Marc and I had been to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas and the 2nd time for Alexis.  We started a tradition the first year we went of buying an ornament and having it personalized with our names, we have gotten one every year since.  We brought along the 2 grandmothers this year, my mom and marc’s mom.  My mom had come with us last year but it was the first time for marc’s mom.  This year was a lot more fun for Alexis than last year.  She loves Playhouse Disney and Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, etc.  As soon as we got close to the park she started seeing the Disney logo everywhere and yelling “MINNIE! MICKEY!” This continued in the park.  She absolutely loved everything we saw and did.  She was mesmerized by It’s a Small World and was just pointing and looking at everything.  The carousel was another big hit.  She kept saying “mas, mas” (more) b/c she wanted to keep riding.  Minnie’s house was also a lot of fun.  She sat at Minnie’s table and “had tea” she loved opening the fridge.  But, the most fun thing was watching the cake rise and fall in the oven continually.  Every time the cake fell, she would say, “uh-oooh”.  Over and over.  We were cracking up.  When she met Minnie, she nuzzled up to her.  She loved her, it was so sweet.  Unfortunately the line for Mickey was waaaaay too long so we didn’t wait.  We went to eat at the Cosmic Cafe where they have a DJ and Pluto and Goofy were there dancing.  Alexis loved it.  She was not shy at all, pushed her way past all the bigger kids, shaking her butt and poked Pluto in the back so that he would turn around and dance with her.  I kid you not.  Then when she was dancing with Goofy she bent down and touched his foot, almost like making sure he was real.

The fireworks show which is honestly the real reason that i continue to go year after year was amazing.  Alexis also was mesmerized and kept saying “ooooh” to all the pretty lights.We went into more than one store and she would just run from one thing to the next, picking up all the stuffed toys and hugging them.  We are now the proud owners of a lot of Disney stuff – a Tinkerbell light up spinning thing (I’m sure it has a better name), several t-shirts, a Minnie purse, a huge Mickey and Minnie – most of this wwas thanks to my mom, except the large Mickey which was Marc’s mom, we also got her countless stickers, or “stickies” as she calls them, which are her new obsession.  By this point she was getting very very tired and cranky.  She had not napped at all, we had hoped she would sleep in the car on the drive up but that didn’t happen.  So she passed out in her stroller around 10:30.  If she hadn’t fallen asleep the plan was that the grandmas would have taken her back to the hotel early.  We went on a few more adult rides, picked up our ornament, had some cookies and hot chocolate, by the time the park closed at midnight we were dragging and ready for bed.

The hotel was another story.  We thought it would be nice to stay in a cabin in Ft Wilderness so we could all stay together.  Eh, not so much.  I guess it’s nice if you have a big family and are staying for a while, but for an overnight I didn’t like it.  It’s definitely rustic.  Not awful, I have stayed in much worse places.  The transportation is a bit time consuming.  There are buses that take you around the resort itself.  We take a bus from our cabin to the docks where we then board a ferry for the Magic Kingdom.  By the time we did the reverse and got back to our hotel, it was after 1am.  Alexis thankfully fell right back to sleep after I put her in her PJs and put her down in the pack n play.  I didn’t think she would sleep in there but she did, she must have been so exhausted that she would have slept anywhere!

So the next day we headed to Downtown Disney for some (more) shopping.  Marc and I got our fix at the candy store of the chocolate covered marshmallows.   Those are so good.  I’m going to have to learn to make them, how tough can it be really?

So all in all we had a wonderful trip.  And it was so different to be able to see everything with Alexis, it really makes the Magic Kingdom more magical.

Not too often do you get to award this reward to someone. But I found a man deserving of the title “Asshole of the year.”

The sad part is… I fell for it.

It all starts in the spring: My date with a kiwi.

He was sweet, worldly, entertaining, had a beautiful accent and liked country music. That to me = perfection! Except for the part that he worked on a yacht and only spent a few months here and there.

We went on a few dates, had a wonderful time and then he left for Alaska. He was in Alaska for two months. Of which during this time he emailed/texted me often. Naturally I thought he was interested and therefore I was excited for his return in September.

This man told me over and over how excited he was to see me and couldn’t wait to hang out… blah blah blah. I am usually smarter than that. I never fall for these types of lines. But for some reason they seemed to be true when they were spewing out of a New Zealander’s mouth. Lies. All lies.

September arrived. He visited me at work the day before his birthday. Everything seemed to be as it was two months ago. He said he had no plans for this birthday so I told him I would go out with him if he wanted. He said yes and that he would call me the next day.

No call.

I didn’t hear from New Zealander for three weeks. By that time I had gotten the picture of course that he wasn’t into me. I never called/emailed/texted him. I figured if he wanted me, he’d find me.

After three weeks went by his roommate stopped in where I bartend to visit me. Roommate and I had been good friends, so I was curious as to why I hadn’t seen him in three weeks either. He apologized and said he just didn’t want to feel uncomfortable around me “after all that happened.” What all happened??!! I went on a few dates with New Zealander and didn’t hear from him again. It’s not a big deal. It’s not rocket science. He’s just not that into me. I accepted that. What’s worse is the rest of the information I found out from Roommate. He was drunk and ended up spilling info on the New Zealander that he later regretted he told me.

Here’s what I found out:

-New Zealander=asshole

-He has a girlfriend in every port

-He wanted to make me his girlfriend in this port

-His girlfriend from Alaska just “showed up” and ruined his plan to do the preceding

-He was going to get rid of Alaska girl and then call me

I told the roommate that he could go ahead and tell the New Zealander that he never has to call me. I’m not interested in being one of his “girlfriends.”

Once we settled the fact that I’d never date an asshole like New Zealander, Roommate and I decided we should all be friends. So he calls New Zealander and tells him to come to the bar… with his Alaska girlfriend. That was fun/awkward.

So all was well. Hung out with New Zealander as a friend, with his girlfriend and all was well. That was Wednesday. Friday the girlfriend moved to Boston, all wasn’t well.

I was totally content being his friend. Until Saturday.

New Zealander and his roommate came into the bar on Saturday to salsa-it-up. They stayed the whole night. And consequently got a tid bit drunk. Roommate asked me if I wanted to hang out with them when I got off work at 2:30am. They wanted to go have a drink on their small boat (not the actual big yacht.) I said sure, you know, “since we were all friends.”

As we walk down the dock to the boat, Roommate pulls a fast one. He said he was tired and was going to bed. Smooth. I think he felt bad talking shit about his friend so he was trying to make it up by putting us together. Wow.

I said, no fucking way, and I decided to go home.

Or did I? Stay tuned…

Part two: Get ready…. RUN!!!

-Alexis Patron

Oh no, Vicki is tryna play matchmaker with Breanna and one of her colleague’s son!  This has disaster written all over it.  Dayum, did ya’ll see that big ass gumbo pot full of Top Ramen that Breanna was making?  Hmmm, so far so good, but I’m sure the thought of Vicki being his mother-in-law will scare him off!

Gretchen hopped a plane out to Michigan to see Jeff’s kids and bury his ashes with them.  I’m glad that his kids have stuck by Gretchen and not let assholes like Tamra shake their belief in what was real to them and their father!

Over at Vicki’s for the BBQ she put together to welcome Chris, Tacky Tam and her tacky ass family showed up.  Who is she to say that it’s weird that Chris flew out to Cali to meet Breanna?  She is so damn NEGATIVE.  I know that is funny coming from us, but shit, at least we find the good in some shit.  She can’t find the good in pay day!  Her gay, ill-mannered son, Ryan, showed up acting like a lil bitch!  How are you technically going to steal someone’s car and not apologize to them for it?  Team Simon on this one!  Ryan needs to get his license back along with a job and stop taking shit that don’t belong to him!

Alexis and Jim are enjoying lunch together, looks like the Ritz-Carlton, Marina del Rey.  He just gave her a sweet piece of jewelry.  I can’t hate.  So far so good.  I like those two.  There is nothing wrong with putting your husband and kids on a pedestal.  Frankly, it’s supposed to be like that, especially when he does the same to you.

Over to the pot house, the Curtins have called in some chick named Vanessa who’s supposed to know kids better than adults.  I can’t with Raquel, Alexis and this sham of a woman.  Uh oh, wait a minute.  Alexa is being honest.  You see, she is desperate to talk to someone!  She’s starved for attention.  She just said it…finally someone to listen to her, not talk over her!  She’s a very smart girl.  I hope she keeps her head on straight and stop walking around looking like Paris Hilton.  That’s not cute in spite of what teenage white girls think!

Oh no, Breanna and old boy don’t seem to be feelin each other any more.  Why not get the man out the house and do something?  Nobody wants to sit up in your mama’s house for a weekend.  That was uncomfortable to watch!

Lord, Breanna took this poor guy to a damn yogurt place.  He did not come out to Cali for this.  She’s boring as hell!  I wouldn’t have had much to say to her either.

Jeff’s kids took Gretchen to the cemetery where they plan to bury his ashes!  I will not let myself cry!  I will not!  I’m just thankful that they all are still connected.  I think that would’ve warmed Jeff’s heart.

Over at Tacky Tam’s wig party, Lynne just walked in looking like Nancy Drew’s mama!  Like she was hiding behind a bush spying on Alexa on a date!  Maybe if Tam would save some of that vodka money and stop having parties, they’d have a bit of extra cash.  Why don’t think drink tequila…that is the family business now, right?

Tamra and Ryan are grabbing a bite together.  Evidently, Ryan got drunk, jumped off a tour bus and broke his foot in 4 places…..cuz that was a good fucking idea!  Now he’s gettin ready to go to jail for 5 days.  Ryan ain’t slick.  He didn’t do that community service cuz he doesn’t have the money to pay for it.  I got your number!

Looks like next week Donn and Vicki are gonna have to put Simon and Tamra in their place.  I’ve been waiting for these two to fall out.  I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

…Vine…in a minute

Hey Everyone,

Just a quick update on little Alexis! She had a little bit of a rough week with some vomitting from the chemo and a little bit of constipation, but she is doing better now and has pooped! Amen for poop! I spoke with Ashley and she said that there were about 8 diapers in an hour…that is a lot of diapers (are you glad I didn’t say “a lot of poop!”?

alexis and "her paul"

Yesterday, we received word that Alexis’ platelete count was down again (13,000…was 75,000k after last transfusion) so she received another dose of platelet’s to get her numbers up before her bone marrow aspirate that is to take place at 8:30 am today (at the time of my writing this, that was 15 minutes ago). I haven’t received any negative texts yet, so I’m sure all is going well with that!

This bone marrow aspirate will determine if she needs another one next week or if she can wait until the 31st for one! Pray that she can wait because I’m sure it is not a fun thing for a 2-year-old to go through and they have already been through so much in the last week!

If all goes well today, Alexis and family will be traveling home form the hospital at 1 pm…FINALLY! It has been a long, tiring, scary, and stressful week for them. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for Ashley! So please, please, please continue to pray for little Alexis, Ashley, and the rest of the family as they continue in faith through the remainder of this process!

In life, sometimes God gives us pain, suffering, and confusion…and sometimes He gives us beauty in the midst of it! I was having a very rough day (because of Alexis’ and mine and Ashley’s situation) and as I was leaving work (in a very sad mood), God showed me the following picture. It was a dark, gray, snowy, and cold day…and God provided this for me!

When we can't, HE CAN!

God knew I was upset and He provided me with this bit of beauty to let me know that He has things under control and that He can make even the darkest and ugliest thing (Leukemia, sickness, disease, sadness) into something beautiful that will bring glory to HIS name!

Thank you all in advance! God is going to do great things in Alexis and Ashley’s life through and because of this…and He is already starting! Amen!

P.S. – I will be away for a week so I will not be able to make any updates about Alexis, but I will be sure to update as soon as I get back! Thank you all so very much for your continued support of Alexis and her battle with Leukemia. She is a tough little cookie (who loves cookie monster) and she IS going to beat this…with God’s help!

- paulg

“I like the bartender (Oooo If you’re lookin’ for me) I’m at the bar with her…” Akon may have wrote that song about me.

But in all honesty, Akon is wrong… you shouldn’t go for the bartender.

I have been a bartender for the last seven years, both full-time and part-time. I know the tricks of the trade. We flirt for money. With ANYONE. It’s our livelihood. That is why it blows me away when men fall for me (or any bartender) and then get so butt-hurt when they learn that I’m not that into them.

Top 10 reasons you should never date the bartender. Here’s what I know:

1)      Bartenders flirt for money. Plain and simple. With men. With women.

2)      We do not love you, but we will pretend as long as you sit at the bar with a stack of twenties dancing between your finger tips.

3)      We only hear ¼ of what you say (maybe even less). The rest we block out.

4)      We will throw your number away as soon as you leave. Unless it’s written on a bill with a president’s face.

5)      We wear low cut shirts for extra dollars, not because we want to fuck you.

6)      Feigning interest in whatever you say is merely an attempt to get more money.

7)      If you are hot, we may consider fucking you.

8)      If we do hook up with you in any way, it should not be translated into a relationship by any means. We will probably be hooking up with someone else during our next shift. Do not expect exclusivity from a bartender. Important reminder: we flirt for money.

9)      If you get jealous in anyway, do not date the bartender. We are like fully clothed strippers, with a tendency to drink while we work. If we do body shots on the bar, it is merely another attempt for money. If you get jealous of other people licking your significant other, do not date the bartender.

10)   We are not innocent. We can play the innocent card if that is what will get us more money, but bartenders are not innocent. Granted, not every bartender is slutty and a closeted stripper, but we have seen a lot of dirty shit go down, which by consequence removes all innocence. If you are looking for someone to bring home to mom and dad, the bartender probably isn’t your best bet. We’ve probably had sex in more places, with more people and in more positions than you could ever know… and we’ve probably done it in public… with cameras. Not something to share with the folks.

Be advised, this may not be true in all circumstances, but if you are sitting at home with a shit-eating grin because your bartender said you were hot and she/he would call you sometime… you should know that you may never hear from them, they just wanted your money. That is a bartender’s livelihood.

-Alexis Patron

When we decided to call our daughter Clio, we forever closed the door on another favorite name – Theodore, nickname Theo.

Or did we?

For every family that decides Maya and Milo are too similar, another embraces the sound-alike names.  Or insists that Alicia and Alina are totally different names.  Perhaps it never even occurs to them that Joanna and Jackson are both related to John.  Or maybe the first time you think of the famous actress is when you introduce your daughter Grace, little sister to Kelly and others ask if you’re a fan.

Siblings’ names will be said together countless times.  The names we like often have much in common.  So how can you tell if your choices make for a compatible sibset, or if they’re much too close?  Here are ten factors to consider.

10.  The names share the same meaning. This can be a subtle way to link siblings’ names.  Think Lucy and Claire.  One means light; the other, clear.  Felix and Asher both mean happy.

Trouble comes when your family of two ends up a family of four or five or more.  Your first two are the nicely paired Hazel and Ivy, but after using Olive and Jade, your choices for #5 narrow to Loden, Fern and Moss.

9.  The names share the same origins. Name aficionados know that Jacob and James are related.  I’ve groused that naming your twin daughters Isabella and Elizabeth is like naming them Mary Anne and Marianne.  Except that it’s not really so.

Origins aside, Jack and Sean make for a compatible pair of brothers’ names.  And Charles and Caroline seem different enough to be worn without incident.   Daniel and Danielle, however, don’t work.

8. You’ve neglected 25 letters of the alphabet. Sometimes this is unintentional.  You’re naming your sons after their grandfathers – Michael and Matthew.  Or you just happen to like the names Julia and Jason.

But let’s say you choose a letter with fewer options.  I remember hearing about a family with four sons – Henry, Heath, Hugo and Hatrick.  Are they hockey fans, or was Harvey not their style?  And if you’re on the second generation sharing the same syllable, your options might be very limited.

7. The names are linked in history or pop culture. If the movie was a bust, or we’re talking minor comic book characters, this matters not at all.  (You can safely ignore “But Sami named her twins John and Alice on Days of Our Lives.”)  Some combinations might appeal – think of daughters named for two Jane Austen heroines, as in Emma and Elinor.

But then there’s Gillian Anderson’s threesome – Piper, Oscar and Felix.  Her kids might not know The Odd Couple, but it is hard to imagine that it didn’t occur to mom.  Or the truly unthinkable – siblings named Romeo and Juliet, or even, in our Twilight era, Edward and Bella.  (Though it can happen after the fact – in which case, all you can do is laugh.)

6. Your choices can lead to same nickname. Sure, you never intend to call Kathryn or Katelyn by the nickname Katie.  But it could easily happen.  And how will their sister Annie feel about having an unrelated name?

This usually occurs because of #9 or #3.  But not always – Amelia and Marianna could both shorten to Mia.  Alexander and Natasha could both go by Sasha.  The harder you have to think about it, the less it becomes a concern.

5. Your favorites share the same ending. If you like Isabel, you might also like Annabel.  Ditto names like Parker, Carter and Harper.  But sharing the same ending is another sign that your favorites might be too close for comfort.

4. They nest like a Russian matryoshka. Does one name fit neatly inside the other?  Annika and Julian share an “an” but it isn’t glaringly obvious.

But Ella and Kellen seem like too much of a set.  And, in cases like Anna and Susanna, it feels as if one sibling’s name is just an elaboration, rather than an original choice.

3. They share the same first syllable. With #10 through #4, it is easy enough to come up with examples that work, despite being close in some ways.

But #3 takes us deep into the danger zone – can you imagine sisters called Madeline and Madison or Allison and Alexis?  (Photoquilty knows of a Madeline/Madison set – plus the dog answers to Maddie!)  How ’bout Jordan and Georgia?  A Supernanny episode featured twin girls Maile and Maila – pronounced Miley and Myla.

2. The names rhyme. Yes, there have surely been twin sisters called Cara and Tara.  But most parents – and siblings – would find it a bit too matched.

And yet, this is trickier than it sounds.   Timothy and James, Jeffrey and Stephanie and, of course, Benjamin and Jennifer all end up rhyming if you use the most common diminutives.

1. A combination of the above. Jackson and Jonathan are close, but probably on the right side of the line, while Jack and John don’t pass the test.

Jeffrey and Stephanie seem less troubling than the Hollywood power couple Benjamin and Jennifer.

Sarah and Laura are pretty close, but Laura and Maura would work only on fictional characters.

And so I’d love to know:  what choices have you had to reject because they’re just too close to your an older child’s name?

My passion.

I have an obsession with unavailable men, as Anastasia so lovingly pointed out yesterday in conversation.

Let’s do a play-by-play:

Alexis: Hey, I’m coming to visit you soon.
Anastasia: Awesome.
Alexis: So have you decided if you’re actually in a relationship with that girl?
Anastasia: Fuck if I tell you. You come and visit and if I’m in a relationship with her, you’ll make out with her and ruin my life.

God, It’s so true. Apparently I have a thing for unattainable goals (and by goals, I mean humans). It’s not on purpose. I just happen to fall for people in relationships. Something tells me it has to do with commitment and my utter fear of the word. Therefore, if I subconsciously seek unavailable men, commitment will never be an issue. Healthy, very healthy.

I’m not a bitch. It’s not something I seek to do; I just crush on spoken-for men. I never act on these crushes…well, except for on my birthday a few weeks ago.

I’ve been crushing on this dancer friend of mine, par for the course since I’m sure his girlfriend is lovely. I would have never done anything under any other circumstances.

The situation: my birthday, drunk, his arm around me. Logically, after a few shorts of tequila, I attempted to kiss him? The tequila pretty much erased my memory of the evening. The world may never know if this actually happened, but I have a strongly undeniable feeling that it did. I definitely shoulda called it a night before the shots started.

I’m not proud of my action but it made me think of the past and my history of crushes in relationships. The list is much longer than I expected. I don’t want to break up the relationships of these men but knowing their relationship makes it unrealistic for them to reciprocate feelings, therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about commitment. My innocent crushes remain innocent and avoid complication.

Complication only sparks when I make dumb ass mistakes.

Ah commitment. A seemingly easy task for most people. However, I cannot seem to take that leap. I won’t even commit to a date a week in advance. Too much may happen between Monday and Friday, I may like someone else, something better may come along… You just never know. Hence why most men don’t stick around for too long. They find the “hard-to-get” game that they think I’m playing, fun and quirky in the beginning. Until they realize I’m just never “available.”

I blame my commitment issues on my father. Isn’t that what most daughters do? My dad had quite a few girlfriends when I was growing up. I learned fast and young to never get attached. They always left. When he finally met one that stuck around for awhile, I was so taken aback by the possibility of someone staying around that I tried everything I could to drive her away. Including hiding under the bed when I first met her to crying and slamming my bedroom door when I found out they got engaged.

As I grow up I realize my petty fear of commitment is completely ridiculous and is something I need to get over fast if I ever hope to get married. In attempts to get over this fear, I still have not managed to rid myself of the desire of unavailable men or completely inappropriate men. Those who I do tend to date are ones that I would never have any sort of a future with… a.k.a a drug addict, someone who lives in Texas, a traveling yacht employee… etc.

To catch up on my latest failed dating adventures:

My date with a kiwi

All the signs

A whole lot of crazy

Different area codes

My two day hangover

X-factor

My 1987-mile booty call

-Alexis Patron

Police provocateurs (or possibly fascists of the Golden Dawn/Χρυσή Αυγή) line up alongside riot police in Hania, Crete, to threaten those protesting against the state, police brutality and the senseless slaying one year ago of fifteen year old Alexis Grigoropoulos.

Anyone getting a sense of déjà vu..?

(Tip o’ the titfer: TeacherDude)

Hey Everyone,

For those of you not familiar with what is going on with Alexis, please go read “Alexis update #1” and “Alexis update #2“

Here are a few updates from the last few days, thanks to Alexis’ Aunt Sara from Alexis’ Care Page.

These next two are from December 5, 2009

“Just got off the phone with Alexis’ Papa. They just got back from the play room and Alexis was running wild! She is going to rest for a bit and receive some more blood. They will have to give her a new IV for the Chemo she will be receiving soon.”

“Just talked with Ashley, Alexis finished her first treatment! Ash said that it was really fast, right through her IV and Alexis did great! She will have several different types of treatment over the next 6 months and then maintenance treatment as necessary. I will keep updating as possible!”

These next three are from December 6, 2009

“Words can’t even explain… Just got off the phone with Brandon, Alexis’s daddy. Alexis had her first dose of Chemo last night and is doing very well today. She has been wiggling her toes and giggling saying “piiiigggiieess!!!” Hehe what a doll!!”

“The doctor’s report this morning says that Alexis’s hemaglobin is back to normal at 100% with her platelet count right behind! Oh the power of prayer!!!!”

“She is scheduled for surgery tomorrow for port placement. The port is used for her future treatments for easier access, so that she won’t have to endure endless IV procedures.

Also later this week she is scheduled for another round of Chemo as well as another Bone marrow biopsy and spinal tap to reassess her counts. She is doing very well and could be released from the hospital by Sunday.”

The cutest little girl I have ever seen!

I got to talk to Ashley this morning for a bit while Alexis was in surgery! She was very optimistic. Just now (January 7, 2009 @ 1:31 pm) I received a text that the port placement surgery went extremely well and Alexis is in recovery. Can I get an Amen?

Alexis in recovery after her port placement surgery

In regards to the post from December 6, 2009 about her hemoglobin being back to normal with her platelet count right behind, I just want to make a quick comment to give God the praise. During church that day, I stood in the front of the church and received prayer for Alexis and the family because no one else was there to do it and I have an attachment to them. So many people prayed…and then after church, I received the text with that wonderful information. Isn’t it wonderful when God answers prayers? And answers them fast?

I want to also urge you to pray for Ashley. She is going through so much and such a young (25) mother should not have to go through this…any mother for that matter! Ashley is overwhelmed, stressed, and freaked out about everything. Changes are taking place in her life and her world was rocked, but she is being strong for her little girl, and that is so very impressive and an example to all of us! I am amazed at how awesome Ashley is and how strong she is being! Continue to pray for Alexis and Ashley and the rest of their family! Pray that they can get rest, eat well, and stay healthy!

Alexis’ Aunt Sara closed her last update with these words, and I want to use them as well:

“Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers! I will continue to update as needed! Keep praying!”

- paulg

While this episode of Real Housewives of Orange County didn’t have as much drama as others (although, next week looks like a keeper!), the OC Housewives wigged out with Bunko, hired a “youthologist” to mediate family tensions and found out their son is choosing to go to jail rather than serve community service (l-a-m-e). But throughout the episode, hottie Housewife Alexis Bellino wore the Black Bloom Flower Ring from Stella & Dot. She paired it with her 7 carat diamond initial necklace that she got from her hubby while sitting on the water, eating shrimp cocktail. See, who says you can’t mix high and low? The ring is just $44 and also comes in Ivory. [Season 5, Episode 4 from Thursday, December 3, 2009 on Bravo Television]