or should I say, Rocky Mountain HYbrid?  Sure looks like one here….

A.k.a.  Carpet Bagging on Divorce Distress, at high altitudes…

I just had an odd question:  Why is  SF’s famous, and well-established Family Violence Prevention Fund, a pace-setter and leader in the field of violence preVENtion conferences and training, promoting conferences like this?

I mean, I just got on “endabuse.org” and searched for “family law,” to see if they actually address some of the rampant troubles with the family law system.  After all, they are a FAMILY violence prevention fund….

Here are links on top right, first page”:

Do you see anything about preventing violence against WOMEN?  In fact, women show up, if they’re immigrants.  A search of “fathers” versus a search of “mothers” on this site pull up entirely different stats — you should try it some time.

 This came up on page 1 of search results, only the 4th item:

‘Traversing the Trail of Alienation:  Mountains of Emotion, Mile High Conflict‘

 …AFCC’s Annual Conference is the premiere event for family law, mental health and dispute resolution professionals.  AFCC’s 47th Annual Conference will bring together between 800-1000 judges, lawyers, mediators, social workers, psychologists, parenting coordinators, parent educators and others.

I’d like to pause here for a brief prayer:  “Lord, deliver us from all do-gooders, parent educators, and unsolicited profiteering helpers that may cross my life, or my children’s this day, in Jesus name, Amen.”      (I’d rather SEE a sermon than attend a parenting seminar any day.  This is parenting: you get your kids SAFE, FIRST, and teach them right from wrong based on behavior, character — not family function.  You do not assault & batter yourself, and you protect them from those who do, to the best of your ability, and empathize at least when you can’t.  How many of those parenting educators have actually GONE through what family law system has put us through, and after DV, too in many cases? Moreover, I’m not paid for being a mother.  In some contexts, doing this can be criminalized as resulting in family “conflict,” i.e., taking a stand somwhere along the line!)

 

The exhibitor forum is centrally located in a high traffic area near conference beverage breaks and is designed to maximize visibility of exhibitors. Exhibitors receive admission to all conference sessions, meal functions and networking opportunities, including AFCC’s famous Hospitality Suite.

Don’t miss this great opportunity to build your business with AFCC

Look at which branches are funding it now — the best of both worlds, from HHS and DOJ both.  One is promoting fatherhood through federal grants, another is spouting out millions (and that’s literally) to organizations like this, and others, to “train” judges how to recognize domestic violence (clue:  look in the law, look at the facts, look at the bleeding, look at the casualties) and be good and address it, supposedly. 

Top 5 Agencies Providing Assistance

HERE”s the CALIFORNIA chapter of AFCC, transforming the words “clear and present danger” (lifted DIRECTLY from the legislature’s own definition of a spousal batterer) into a budget crisis — which the same group has contributed to!

Whose children ARE they now?  Are they your subject matter or the progeny of two parents?  When you see a kid, do you see a $$ sign for your profession?

Apparently so, and government grants to ENDABUSE.org going to promote AFCC — a membership charging organization — for professionals to hawk their wares, while too many parents are UNaware of it.

Which I hope to stop, obviously!

That’s what I call Carpetbagging, no matter what the altitude.

Would like to analyze a bit more, but time and technical limitations prevent.  Check this out yourself….

Jag skriver ganska ofta om min ensamhet, jag nämner också ibland att jag nog egentligen bara har en riktig vän i mitt liv (som i föregående inlägg). Utöver det finns det däremot ett fåtal personer jag kan skriva till någon gång ibland för att få ett svar tillbaka, lite mer av någon sorts ytlig kontakt. Ofta, eller alltid, handlar det om personer som jag egentligen gärna skulle vilja ha en närmare vänskap med men där det kanske inte alltid är en ömsesidig känsla (de flesta har ju riktiga liv som tar upp tid och så, det är inget konstigt med det). För det handlar alltid om personer jag träffat via nätet, aldrig någon i verkliga livet. Och även om det är så att det är personer jag gärna skulle vilja ha en närmare vänskap med så nöjer jag mig ofta med det där mer sporadiska, för det räddar mig på så många sätt. Att i en stund när ensamheten blir för mycket så kan jag skriva någon rad och samtidigt få ett svar tillbaka. Det är ett sätt att åtminstone få känna mig lite mindre ensam än jag egentligen är, ett sätt att få ha lite kontakt med någon människa jag tycker om utan att inkräkta för mycket på deras tid.

Problemet är däremot att de här kontakterna är av sådan karaktär att om jag inte hör av mig, inte tar första kontakten, då hör jag inte heller något från dem, då rinner ofta bekantskapen ut i sanden. Det handlar såklart inte om många människor, jag har som sagt inte världens största bekantskapskrets (eller vad man nu kallar det ang. personer man lärt känna via nätet), men det landar ofta i att personen i fråga inte skriver, kanske tar bort mig från sin msn, inte svarar när jag skickar ett mail efter en längre tids tystnad etc.

Varje gång det sker tar det väldigt hårt på mig, en liten liten trygghet som jag har i mitt liv rycks snabbt undan, och när det blir för mycket att säg svara på ett mail på två rader så känner jag mig alltid så lågt värderad. Nyligen har det hänt igen, den här gången dock med någon där vi dels var väldigt öppna och ärliga med varandra när vi väl hördes av, men också där det kändes som det inte var nödvändigt att vi hördes hur ofta som helst för att det ändå skulle fungera. Det slutar alltid såhär.

Hur jag än vrider och vänder på det så kan jag bara se en vän jag har. En person som hör av sig inom relativt kort tid om det är tyst från mig, någon att prata med eller som frågar hur det är (även om jag inte alltid är ärlig är jag svarar på den frågan… men jag gillar omtanken… dessutom brukar det sällan uppskattas för mycket när jag är helt ärlig, det brukar ofta bara leda till tystnad, så egentligen kanske det är bättre att ljuga lite som svar på den frågan om jag vill behålla eventuella kontakter.. men men).

Det är bara så tråkigt att förlora någon man skulle vilja ha kvar i sitt liv, inget avsked, ingen förklaring… bara tystnad.

Efter att ha suttit en lång stund på golvet i någon form av sittande fosterställning med en kudde tryckt hårt mot mitt bröst har jag nu börjat samla mig lite.

Ibland, i vissa fall slår det bara fel. I 49 fall av 50 blir jag glad för en annan människas lycka, men så finns det där enskilda tillfället då jag istället blir helt sänkt av en annan människas lycka. Känslan går till viss del att jämföra med att vara kär i en person och samtidigt se den personen bli kär i någon annan. En person man önskar lycka finner det, men den känsla man själv känner är inte lycka, ofta väldigt långt därifrån.
Ofta när det här enskilda fallet dyker upp som istället gör mig ledsen så har det också här att göra med att personen i fråga har funnit kärlek, men det slår bara fel. Det blir på något sätt istället ett bevis på hur misslyckad jag är, hur jag aldrig upplever eller någonsin fått uppleva kärleken. På något sätt kan jag ibland känna ett samband med en människa som har det svårt och som kanske inte har kärleken i sitt liv för en period, jag kan känna någon form av samhörighet som i ett ögonblick bara kan ryckas undan.

Det är ju förbannat j-a hemskt egentligen, jag kan känna en samhörighet med en människa i den ena situationen, men kan ha svårt att känna lycka med honom/henne när situationen förbättrats, när kärleken dykt upp i deras liv. Men för mig blir det mer av en bild kring mitt eget misslyckande, min oförmåga som människa, hur jag inte klarar av något som varenda övrig människa på den här planeten verkar klara av…. gång på gång på gång.

En annan lustig detalj är att, egentligen har jag ju bara en vän (hon som jag aldrig träffat som bor många många många mil bort), ändå kan jag påverkas på det här viset av människor jag bara har eller har haft sporadisk kontakt med. en jag vet inte, på något sätt finns de ofta väldigt djupt i mitt hjärta, jag antar att något utbytt mail, någon bloggkommentar eller vad det nu än kan vara inte betyder egentligen någonting för en annan människa som har massor med vänner och ett liv fullt av aktivitet.

För min del är det snarare så att den där enstaka kommentaren, det där enstaka mailet… det är hela mitt liv. Snudd på åtminstone. När man inte har så många andra människor att hålla i sitt hjärta så är det nog betydligt enklare att göra just det. Det gör mig på många sätt till en sorglig ursäkt till en människa, men det är en roll jag haft så pass länge nu att jag lärt mig att det är såhär.

Däremot har jag inte lärt mig att hantera det, att hantera ensamheten och besvikelserna… Eller jo, jag har en lösning, en dålig lösning som ofta får en rekyl som gör det värre, men just idag är det ju på sitt sätt ursäktat. Det är fredag. Klockan är ungefär halv fyra på eftermiddagen. Vad jag vill just nu är att hälla upp ett stort glas alkohol med lite högre procenthalt, men jag tror att jag ska försöka hålla mig med det en liten stund i alla fall. Men det hjälper, åtminstone en liten stund innan det blir värre, men kanske är det värt det.

These are reaaallllyyy old – about 4 years! But I like them.

Russian theorist Viktor Shklovsky’s theory of defamiliarization is applied to both art and literature.  Make art object “unfamiliar” or “the making strange of everyday events and objects so that they appear to us in a new light” (Critical Theory: A Graphic Guide by Stuart Sim and Borin Van Loon p. 55).  In other words, as artists, it’s our job to make things difficult, to reject the automatic response, make viewers work and participate so they can prolong the aesthetic experience and develop a deeper perception.  The parallel in literature is Bertolt Brecht’s epic theatre and alienation effect.

http://www.conversationalreading.com/2009/10/on-shklovsky-and-defamiliarization-with-reference-to-the-mezzanine-by-nicholson-baker.html

http://www.jstor.org/pss/1771528

Mark McNease

Closed casket with a photograph
and a surprising number of people
saying how natural you look.Well, yeah,

it’s a photograph.
The casket was open when we first arrived.
Creeped me out. Corpses ain’t my thing.
They found your wallet circa 1973
with fifteen pictures of your favorite,
one of Caro, none of me. But I thank you

for the money. It was
how I tried to prove myself, calling you
with every six percent raise, hoping once
I would be your son and not
your son who worked at Sesame Street.

We are who we are, and finally
we are dead bodies in a funeral home
or urns filled with ashes. The truth of our
existence as memories becomes transparent.
There is no wall to wail against,
no trial to conduct, no verdict.
We are sons, mothers, daughters, fathers
resting quietly while the mourning file by.

Mark McNease

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

Holy Days and Holidays: Keeping Your Sanity and Your Spirit

By the time you read this article you will have finished most of a roasted turkey, yams, and the rest of your Thanksgiving dinner. You might have even braved the Black Friday crowds. In any case, you’ve experienced the first major holiday of the winter season and probably some of the insanity, as well.

Studies show that many people experience depression and sadness during the holidays. While the reasons vary, we all find ourselves, at one time or another, wishing we could just hide away from everything around us. At a time when we celebrate families, friends, and our Savior, the stresses of the season can drag us down.

Depression can be situational (caused by our circumstances) or physical (chemical imbalance or disease). Whatever the cause, how can we avoid and/or deal with depression during the holidays and throughout the year? Believe it or not, you can find the answer in the Scriptures.

A Few Examples of Situational Depression in the Bible

King David: “I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart” (Psalm 38:6,8, NIV; David is depressed because of his sin with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah.)

Jeremiah the prophet: “I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, ‘My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD.’ I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.” (Lamentations 3:17-20; Jerusalem had been destroyed, and famine consumed the city.)

Apostle Paul: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Symptoms of depression include hopelessness and feeling defeated, deserted, or deprived. Causes can include the recent loss of a loved one, loneliness, financial and physical stresses, among others. People experiencing depression, even for chemical reasons, often have negative thinking patterns—ingrained habitual thinking about themselves and the world around them.

Dealing with Depression

First of all, if you are experiencing depression, or the “blues,” please talk to your doctor to rule out physical causes. Many physical maladies can bring about depression, including thyroid problems and hormonal changes, among others. By the way, it is okay to take medication for depression, even if just temporarily to help you work through a tremendous change in your life, such as a death, divorce, or other major loss.

Second, it is important to change the negative thinking patterns that are keeping you bound by depression. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside. Talk to someone about your feelings of depression, alienation, loneliness, etc. You are not alone.

Scriptural Responses to Depression

1. Is your depression originating in disappointment with yourself or guilt from your past? Confess your failures and your sins that you may be forgiven. “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’—and you forgave the guilt of my sin” (Psalm 32:5).

2. Change your way of thinking about your past, your present, and your future. Don’t let the opinions of people around you drown out God’s opinion.

The Past: When we continually blame and criticize ourselves, we are disagreeing with God. Even when we don’t “feel” it, we need to remind ourselves that God is faithful and, when we have confessed our sins, God forgives and redeems us from the guilt of the past (1 John 1:9). Even if you don’t feel “forgiven,” tell yourself the truth, that God loves you and wants the best for you.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14).

The Present: Circumstances change—employment, financial struggles, physical problems, and even persecution can cause emotional trauma and depression. Change your thinking by taking an eternal view about these things. You may not understand why things happen, but that’s what faith is about, knowing that whatever comes our way, God is with us.

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:7,8).

The Future: Again, only God can see the future and know what is to come. A healthy view of the future, then, is one that recognizes God’s care for us. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Everything I experience today is a part of the future God has planned for me. I don’t need to see the future to know that I can walk toward it without fear.

3. Practice faith in God by choosing to find the positive. “Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8,9).

4. Pray for those who have hurt you or caused your feelings of loss. Prayer is a therapeutic practice. You cannot hate someone when you are praying for them. Jesus said, “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44,45).

5. Practice thankfulness for God’s involvement in your life. “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:19,20).

As you celebrate the holy days and holidays this year, my prayer is that you will find hope in God’s Word, strength through God’s Spirit, and help for the problems that come your way.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pastor Mary Kay
revmkg@sbcglobal.net

Listen

All alone now
Except for the memories
Of what we had and what we knew
Everytime I try to leave it behind me
I see something that reminds me of you
Every night the dreams return to haunt me
Your rosary wrapped around your throat
I lie awake and sweat, afraid to fall asleep
I see your face looking back at me

And I raise my head and stare
Into the eyes of a stranger
I’ve always known that the mirror never lies
People always turn away
From the eyes of a stranger
Afraid to know what
Lies behind the stare

Is this all that’s left
Of my life before me
Straight jacket memories, sedative highs  (  Straight jacket = Tvångströja)
No happy ending like they’ve always promised
There’s got to be something left for me
And I raise my head and stare
Into the eyes of a stranger
I’ve always known that the mirror never lies
People always turn away
From the eyes of a stranger
Afraid to know what
Lies behind the stare [Lies behind my stare]

How many times must I live this tragedy
How many more lies will they tell me
All I want is the same as everyone
Why am I here, and for how long

And I raise my head and stare
Into the eyes of a stranger
I’ve always known that the mirror never lies
People always turn away
From the eyes of a stranger
Afraid to know what
Lies behind the stare
Eyes of a Stranger midi

…

revolution!

…

I remember now

Eyes Of A Stranger – Queensryche 1988

Comment: A powerful and beautiful ending of a classical album. For the best effect it is recommended that you listen to the whole album Operation Mindrcrime and read the texts. It is about a desperate and maybe a bit confused guy that gets involved in a conspiracy in America, a conspiracy aiming for a revolution. there is love, there is betrayal and there is this desperate sad but yet mighty ending of the story.

Like Lost Children blog

“we seek to push the university struggle to its limits.”
-communique from an absent future

“there is nothing in the world of capital that compares to the feelings of comradery and power in the moments when it is only possible to speak of i-as-we.”
-politics is not a banana

this is not a rational discourse, only some brief reflections of an arrow in flight.

tonight around 200 people are occupying the largest administrative building at ucsc. the chancellor’s office is denied to him as education will be denied to thousands of youth in california, as the uc and csu approved 32% tuition hikes earlier today in so cal. (police were exceptionally violent at the ucla protest, where regents were trapped inside the building for a time. lots of pictures of them tasing and beating the fuck out of people. pigs also got pretty brutal at the solidarity demo in nyc and 45 people were arrested occupying an admin building at uc davis. the ucla occupation dissolved today due to threat of police attack.)

but wait how did this happen? weeks ago we said “don’t even bother talking about kerr hall, it’s a pipe dream”. the only way to make the impossible possible is by building action through action. today there was a general assembly at occupied kresge where 3-400 people decided “let’s go occupy something!” really, it was that simple. we marched around campus for about 20-30 minutes chanting. hahn and the bookstore were both on lockdown. then suddenly we were descending on kerr hall. they locked the doors inside as the swarm approached. we started runnning. someone finds an open window and a door is propped open from inside.

then there are 300 people running through kerr hall, chanting, screaming, pounding on the walls. such a tremendous feeling of collective-being. into the stairwell, but the doors are locked; someone hops in an elevator and then we are pouring up into the second floor, where the main entrance lobby and the chancellor’s office both are. HOLY FUCK! we just occupied kerr hall!! um… what do we do now?!

how easily it is done, and how difficult. not to over-dramatize what is happening here, but it immediately brings to mind, for instance, what we’ve heard about mai 68 from theorie communiste. once we make the insurrectionary rupture – then what?? how to organize, how to spread?

there are those who view our struggle as moral or philosophical rather than material or tactical. they are lost in abstractions. they think we all want “democracy” and “openness”, they think not in terms of communication but of appearance, and they feel that they have common ground with bureaucrats. well, let them have it. the strength of our movement, of our communization, if it takes strength, is in our material force and our ability to collectively impose what we want. not to dialogue democratically with those who own the means of our existence; not to recognize, acknowledge and thus reinforce their position but to render it irrelevant.

to push the university struggle to its limits. obviously, it has limits and we are bearing down on them. splits “within the movement” will be clarified (perhaps as brutally as at berkeley, where, again, a certain “section” literally took it upon itself to police the “rest of” the movement, as far as collaborating with the actual police). we’ll see.

the occupation at kerr hall compiled a very long list of demands. this happened because people with a megaphone decided that as soon as we had taken the floor the first thing to do was have a very long meeting where we decide on demands that we want to be satisfied before we would leave the building. demands are all well and good, there were many beautifully impossible demands issued. some of us however ditched this meeting because arguing about impossible demands is silly and pointless and most of all so if there is no occupation – ie no leverage to make them with. so we set about working on the practical details of inhabiting the space.

anyway, obviously the demands are ungrantable. a crisis period means that this will be more and more common, for instance, wage struggles in europe and asia, boss napping in france and riots in bangladesh and china… if there is nothing to pay them, there is just nothing to pay them. at this point it is only the police – the state – who enforce class belonging and prevent forceful communization via rioting and looting. this is the direction in which existing contradictions must currently be pushed.

there will be no business as usual tomorrow at kerr hall. there will be a union-organized rally at noon followed by an enrage-organized general assembly. the admin will begin threatening us that they need the building back on monday. instead of listening to their bullshit, we need to underline our demands. one of which was that school be canceled for a day; this could be monday. the admin obviously don’t know what to do about the fact that they keep losing control of parts of campus, other than wait it out. obviously this may change but we need to keep the initiative.

they also like to portray themselves as being “on our side”, against the cuts. this is a chance to demand that they PROVE IT instead of just talking out their asses like we know they do. they can take our side against the regents. or they can catalyze further struggle. or whatever. again, the point is we want them to become irrelevant. the point is we will hit our limits soon and have some choices to make.

anyway. two buildings are occupied right now. hella tight.

can’t stop, won’t stop. push the contradictions. escalate.

occupy the fucking shit out of everything.

Guarding Against International Parental Child Abduction

Source: U.S Department of State

Parental child abduction is a federal crime.  It is also a tragedy that jeopardizes children and has substantial long-term consequences for the “left-behind” parent, the child, the family, and society. Children who are abducted by their parents are often suddenly isolated from their extended families, friends, and classmates. They are at risk of serious emotional and psychological problems. Similarly, left-behind parents experience a wide range of emotions including betrayal, loss, anger, and depression. In international cases, they often face unfamiliar legal, cultural, and linguistic barriers that compound these emotions.

In this section of our Web site, learn about the measures you can take to prevent your child from being wrongfully taken to or wrongfully kept in another country.  In addition to the materials below, also see these important links:

• Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program
• Passport Requirements for Minors
• Additional Prevention Tools
• For Attorneys & Judges

International Parental Child Abduction Is Illegal

Under the laws of the United States and many foreign countries, international parental child abduction is crime.  Removing a child from the United States against another parent’s wishes can be considered a crime in every U.S. state.  In some cases an abducting parent may be charged with a Federal crime under the International Parental Kidnapping Crime Act (IPKCA).  This can be the case even when neither parent holds a custody decree prior to the abduction. Nevertheless, a custody decree can be helpful to prevent an international parental child abduction, or to recover your child if he/she is abducted.

The Importance of a Custody Decree

A well-written custody decree is an important line of defense against international parental child abduction. In your custody decree, it may be advisable to include a statement that prohibits your child from traveling abroad without your permission or that of the court. Ask your attorney if you should obtain a decree of sole custody or a decree that prohibits the travel of your child without your permission or that of the court.  If you have or would prefer to have a joint custody decree, you may want to make certain that it prohibits your child from traveling abroad without your permission or that of the court.

If your child is at risk of being taken to a country that partners with the United States under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (Hague Abduction Convention), your custody decree should include the terms of the Hague Abduction Convention that apply if there is an abduction or wrongful retention (see country list).

The American Bar Association also suggests requesting the court, if the other parent is not a U.S. citizen or has significant ties to a foreign country, to require that parent to post a bond. This may be useful both as a deterrent to abduction and, if forfeited because of an abduction, as a source of revenue for you in your efforts to locate and recover your child.

REMINDER: Obtain several certified copies of your custody decree from the court that issued it. Give a copy to your child’s school and advise school personnel to whom your child may be released.

Two Parent Signature Law for a Passport

The United States does not have exit controls on its borders for holders of a valid passport.  This makes preventing a passport from being issued to your child without your consent very important.  Generally, if your child has a passport, it can be difficult to prevent the other parent from removing the child to another country without your permission.

U.S. law requires the signature of both parents, or the child’s legal guardians, prior to issuance of a U.S. passport to children under the age of 16.  To obtain a U.S. passport for a child under the age of 16, both parents (or the child’s legal guardians) must execute the child’s passport application and provide documentary evidence demonstrating that they are the parents or guardians.  If this cannot be done, the person executing the passport application must provide documentary evidence that he or she has sole custody of the child, has the consent of the other parent to the issuance of the passport, or is acting in place of the parents and has the consent of both parents (or of a parent/legal guardian with sole custody over the child to the issuance of the passport).

EXCEPTIONS: The law does provide two exceptions to this requirement: (1) for exigent circumstances, such as those involving the health or welfare of he child, or (2) when the Secretary of State determines that issuance of a passport is warranted by special family circumstances.

Read more: Passport Requirements for Minors

Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program

You may also ask that your child’s name be entered into the State Department’s Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program (CPIAP).  Entering your child into the Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program will enable the Department to notify you or your attorney if an application for a U.S. passport for the child is received anywhere in the United States or at any U.S. embassy or consulate abroad. If you have a court order that either grants you sole custody, joint legal custody, or prohibits your child from traveling without your permission or the permission of the court, the Department may refuse to issue a new or renewal U.S. passport for your child. The Department may not, however, revoke a passport that has already been issued to the child. There is also no way to track the use of a passport once it has been issued, since there are no exit controls for people leaving the U.S. If your child already has a passport, you should take steps to ensure that it is kept from a potential abductor by asking the court or attorneys to hold it.

IMPORTANT TO KEEP IN MIND:

1. The United States does not have exit controls.
2. The Department of State may not revoke a passport that has been issued to a child, but you can ask a court to hold onto it.
3. There is no way to track the use of a passport once it has been issued.
4. Your child might also be a citizen of another country (dual nationality).  Even if he/she does not have a U.S. passport, your child may be able to travel on the other country’s passport.

The Privacy Act and Passports

Passport information is protected by the provisions of the Privacy Act (PL 93-579) passed by Congress in 1974. Information regarding a minor’s passport is available to either parent. Information regarding adults may be available to law enforcement officials or pursuant to a court order issued by the court of competent jurisdiction in accordance with (22 CFR 51.27). For further information regarding the issuance or denial of United States passports to minors involved in custody disputes, please contact Passport Services.

Published by: ABP World Group International Child Recovery Service

Visit our web site at: www.abpworld.com

Múm’s video for Rhubarbidoo (off Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy, their latest album) is one of the most re-enchanting videos that I’ve seen for a long time.  If, as Max Weber has argued, Enlightenment rationalization, especially as it manifests itself in the bureaucratized capitalism of Western society, results in a disenchanted world where we are locked in an “iron cage” of social alienation and meaningless production, surely the 20th-century fascination with fantasy, science fiction, and the imaginative worlds brought to life by animation effectively functions as a kind of antidote.  Rhubarbidoo is the work of Jason Malcolm Brown and Aya Yamasaki Brown, a pair of illustrator/animators who seem to specialize in re-enchantment.  Their Overture project is just as otherworldly and beautiful as Rhubarbidoo and also foregrounds a represented natural space inhabited by creatures that are not of this world and yet, in their alien guises, somehow end up appearing as natural as nature itself.

Early 20th-century animation is rife with the idea of bringing things to life — not only inanimate objects like household objects or urban spaces, but also nature itself in a special kind of re-animation where life is brought back to life.  Disney’s 1932 cartoon Flowers and Trees is a perfect example of this type of animation.  It seems fair to wonder whether or not the deep fascination with nature evinced in these early animations is actually symptom of a society that is rapidly becoming so urbanized and industrialized that direct contact with the natural world has become a thing of the past.  In this case the ability of animation to bring this world to life as ’second nature’ is deeply ironic since it’s an artifact of the industrial revolution — the toothed-gear — that allows for the existence of the stop-motion technique in the first place.  There are more sophisticated readings of this dynamic that are possible as well, of course.  Marx would probably say that what we see when we see cups and saucers singing in Disney animation is the voice of alienated labor expressing itself in another register; the Adorno and Horkheimer of Dialectic of Enlightenment, on the other hand, might view the re-animation of nature as a kind of mystificatory screen that serves to block the fact that the animistic stage of society is long since dead and instead there is only the fact of nature as a purely objectified resource for human exploitation (including the pleasurable exploitation of nature in its cartoon form).

MGM’s Honeyland is a fantastic case study for the idea that animation that seems to be about natural space is actually about the social unconscious that’s at work behind the scenes.  The cartoon begins as a kind of pastoral idyll; the bee society is figured as a classic rural community with an economy based on cultivation and gathering.  By the middle of the 1850s, however, the mechanization of agriculture had already started in the United States — the McCormick reaper, the threshing machine, and a practical mowing machine were all in use well before even the invention of the horse-drawn combine in the 1880s.  By 1935, when Honeyland was made, agriculture in the U.S. was, for all practical purposes, fully industrialized.  The kind of rural life envisioned in the cartoon — a life of pleasant labor and natural bounty — was already nothing but a nostalgic fantasy.  This nostalgic fantasy, however, can’t maintain itself and soon we’re introduced to a second fantasy — the hive as happy factory.  At this point the (worker) bees are still depicted as deeply content, and they obviously have a large amount of autonomy and free time for pleasure.  It’s toward the end of the cartoon, when the spider attacks, that the social unconscious reveals itself in a manner that’s a bit more sinister.  What started off as a pastoral idyll has now devolved into industrialized militarism — the bees are controlled en masse via the electronic call of the centralized public announcement system and form themselves into single living klaxon within which all individuation has completely disappeared.  This may seem like a stretch, but perhaps it’s not as much of a stretch if you consider that the rationalization of industrial production has its roots in the standardized manufacture of interchangeable rifle parts.

All of these anxieties about the role of human agency within the highly commercialized and industrialized landscape that we’ve erected around ourselves and come to inhabit are at the forefront of this brilliant montage that combines scenes from the Fleischer Studio’s 1939 animated version of Gulliver’s Travels and stock footage of the construction of what I think must be the World Trade Center buildings.  The way in which Rockwell’s video for Beholden juxtaposes the Lilliputians with scenes of the construction of the WTC raises the question of whether or not we have, in fact, created something that we can’t control.  The image at the end of the video is the frontispiece of Thomas Hobbes’s 1651 treatise, Leviathan, which argues for the total control of (a willing) society by an absolute sovereign.  Ending the video with this image makes clear that the question being raised is one of control and sovereignty; as a society we may have the ability to construct wonders, but in the end isn’t it those wonders that control us?  Clearly there is another version of Weber’s iron cage at work here.

Of course, it would be ridiculous to subscribe to the view that somehow all attempts to re-enchant the world are, in the final analysis, nothing but an empty compensation for the fact that the disenchantment of the world we know has been made complete.  There are always gaps and fissures where enchantment can happen, despite the pessimism of theorists like Weber and Adorno.  The excess in homo ludens will always escape, at least partially, the clasp of the iron cage.  The force of play and invention, the possibility to explore and investigate new social potentialities and possibilities, is at least as much of a feature of any creative work as our inability to escape the social unconscious that must inform it in at least some way.  The playful space of vegetable fantasy in Rhubarbidoo is one form that this type of exploration may take, but another form that may be more directly useful for raising questions about the type of society that we might someday want to become can be found in lengthier works of animated fantasy and speculative fiction.  Although it’s not a particularly incisive film when it comes to unpacking the deep-seated contradictions of society as we know it, René Laloux’s 1973 film Fantastic Planet does a remarkable job of thematizing the human propensity to resist totalizing systems of control, while at the same expressing the force of the imagination at play in the form of the wild and surreal images that explode across the alien landscape presented in the film.

This video for Múm’s song “They Made Frogs Smoke ’til They Exploded” is by Ingibjörg Birgisdóttir, and it embodies the idea of play in deeply interesting ways.  Firstly, the video is about child’s play and as such is as much about violently exploratory creative destruction as it is about the wonder of discovery.  Childhood feelings of powerlessness — of literally being overcome and torn apart by overwhelming emotional states — are expressed through images of disembodied limbs, bodies being opened up and bleeding, and animals that are both menacing and at the same time objects to be cut open and destroyed.  The play expressed in the first part of the video is dark and indicates thetransference and acting out of violent emotions onto a creative stage that’s filled with blood and crumpled paper.  And yet, as with all childhood imaginings, the cat that loses its head is able to be magically stitched back together and return to life.  The crux of this video, for me, is the sequence with the child holding up the drawing of a swan.  The image of the swan is filled with swathes of brilliant color at the same moment at the child’s teeth fall out, precipitating a full-scalerain of teeth.  The dream of teeth falling out is, of course, classically supposed to indicate a fear of the loss of control.  And yet, at the same time, the falling out of baby teeth is one marker of our entry into adulthood.  In this sequence the creative and wild imagination of childhood, including all of the horrors that come along with it, is represented as the necessary basis for the move to aesthetic maturity.  After this scene the types of creative images that appear are much more benign — flowers emerging from the swan’s mouth, leaves filling the soul-space of a child, and paper that turns into butterflies that fly away.  Perhaps the most delightful aspect of this video is the use of common classroom materials — those things we mostassociate with childhood and its attendant confusions and power struggles — as the medium through which the question of childhood imagination is realized.  It may be the case that as a whole our society has veered far from any real contact and understanding with nature — we may have become too good at making frogs explode — but there’s a second nature at work in all of these videos, a second nature that demands a space for play and exhibits an irrepressible desire to resist the final isolation of total alienation.

Self Portrait

i recall her eyes as dark and anxious constrictions
her gaze conceived in the throat of a wolf
in the moment before muscle
pushed the howling through

her smile danced with the beautiful torment of my own memories
as she brought mirrors and pressed them to my icy tomb
where i could see, in quick flashes beneath cold fog
my child lips making wishes on the corpses of dandelions

hoping as their flower white ghosts floated skyward
that they would send my child lamentations to their gods
but the gravity of uncertainty drew me to my knees
where i envisioned the world a vulturous void
for which my body was a falling through

she gripped my hand and took it into her mouth
where i felt the fluttering paper
of birds wings pretending to be words
her mouth closed softly around my trembling hand
my fingers swam eagerly in the wet void of her prophecy

from her wordless tongue there came a sound
like the tolling of a distant bell
meant only to be heard by the corpse and the fetus
in the moment before their lungs are overwhelmed

here my fettered uncertainty has languished
like a prisoner horrified at his open cage
who mistakes the caress of a ravens wing
for the dragging tease of a whip
across the cheek of an infidel

now blistering like wounds drawn by fire
i arise raw and burned to my blood
pink and throbbing like the throat of a lion
love has rendered me a monster in this holy fane
where men make gods from the blood of the mire

Kalliope Amorphous

All Rights Reserved

© 2009

1. Clean, soft, cotton sheets. You have no idea how long you will spend in bed. You think you do, but you don’t. Minutes, hours, days, weeks can pass. Be comfortable for it.
2. Layers of warmth. Have a comforter, a blanket and several other sources of heat to pull off or add at will.
3. Lots of pjs. What with the flop sweats, hacking cough and inability to shower due to gripping chills you will feel dirty.
4. The internet and a laptop. I knew that the internet was a boon and then I got sick and it became a lifeline. All of the aforementioned time in bed is the obstacle. You can’t read effectively due to delirium. You can’t write. You can only prop yourself up and cling to babymac. It is your only hope.
5. 30 Rock. Yes, you need all 3.5 seasons of 30 Rock. Alex Baldwin’s Jack telling you to never follow a hippie to a second location. Tracy Morgan’s endless rants that may indicate genius. The cute men that rotate through poor Liz Lemon’s love life (including a floppy haired Hamm). All of these things combine to become a poultice to your soul. Yes, 30 Rock heals.
6. A wide range of hot teas. They will bore you otherwise.
7. A vat of honey.
8. Friends. Yes, the text messages, the emails, the somewhat convoluted (on my part I think) phone calls, especially the drop off of goods (thanks Darryl). These things keep you tied to reality and replenish.  They make you think you are not a pariah (even though you really are).
9. Straws. No illness should be present without the ability to sip through a straw.
10. Pirate’s Booty and Pepperidge Farm cookies. Indulge. You feel like you are on your deathbed, so you may as well not care about the waistline.
11. A brother, or some relative that is tied to you through blood and therefore will not abandon you entirely. Granted mine did walk around with anti-bacterial wipes and not enter the same room as me. However, he also made sure I had food and drink and he picked up drugs for me. He would call to me through the door and ask if I was alive and needed anything from the store.
12. Advil and Tylenol. Apparently you can take them alternately and not do too much damage.
13. And last, you need to have walls a color that really makes you happy. Because honestly, the only thing you’ll take away from the whole experience is “damn, I love my walls”.

Stay healthy! Wash your hands! Don’t touch your face! Take your vitamins and load up on C! Drink water! Get the vaccine if you can! AGAIN, don’t touch your face!

by nathan jurgenson

Following PJ Rey’s excellent summary of the Internet as Playground and Factory yesterday, I offer a few additional observations from the conference this past weekend, focusing on Web 2.0 capitalism, and Google as the primary target. The roughly 100 presenters were not joined by Google, as the company said that the conference content seemed “slightly anti-capitalist.” Much of the content, indeed, took the corporate ownership of our productive labor online to task.

A common theme was how to discuss Marx’s Labor Theory of Value with respect to Web 2.0. Clearly, companies are exploiting our free labor, but they do not have to coerce us. Julian Kucklich argued that we now have exploitation without alienation. That is, our unpaid labor is used for corporate surveillance and profit, even if the labor is not alienating or “foreign to ourselves.” Simply, we like using Facebook, Twitter and so on. However, Kucklich further argues that we are taught to think Facebook is fun, that companies use the “ideology of play” to seduce us into producing (or better, prosuming). Martin Roberts, in, ironically, perhaps the conference’s most entertaining presentation, also took to task the culture of “fun”, arguing that we have been trained to see our work as “fun”, making us more productive for the capitalist system. Christian Fuchs most forcefully argued for a communist Internet, stating that exploitation on Web 2.0 is infinite because users are not being paid material wages. A good Marxian, he downplayed the importance of immaterial value gained through sites like Facebook because we live in a capitalism system based on the material. And Ulises Mejias takes Web 2.0 to task for the creation of corporate Monopsonies, where we have seen Facebook, Amazon, eBay, YouTube, Google and so on become corporate titans of Web 2.0 capitalism. He argues that using these corporate Monopsonies is dangerous and irresponsible, calling for open-source and public versions of these types of services.

Thus, it is clear to see why Google was reluctant to join this conference. Frank Pasquale forcefully called on Google to be more transparent. Given what was discussed above, as well as Google’s central status in our day-to-day knowledge-seeking life, Pasquale leaves us with questions to ponder: should its page-rank algorithm be public? Should Google be allowed to up-rank or down-rank links based their relationship to the company? Should Google be able to simply remove pages from its listings? Should Google be forced to let us know when they do these things? ~nathan

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by nathan jurgenson

Following PJ Rey’s excellent summary of the Internet as Playground and Factory yesterday, I offer a few additional observations from the conference this past weekend, focusing on Web 2.0 capitalism, and Google as the primary target. The roughly 100 presenters were not joined by Google, as the company said that the conference content seemed “slightly anti-capitalist.” Much of the content, indeed, took the corporate ownership of our productive labor online to task.

A common theme was how to discuss Marx’s Labor Theory of Value with respect to Web 2.0. Clearly, companies are exploiting our free labor, but they do not have to coerce us. Julian Kucklich argued that we now have exploitation without alienation. That is, our unpaid labor is used for corporate surveillance and profit, even if the labor is not alienating or “foreign to ourselves.” Simply, we like using Facebook, Twitter and so on. However, Kucklich further argues that we are taught to think Facebook is fun, that companies use the “ideology of play” to seduce us into producing (or better, prosuming). Martin Roberts, in, ironically, perhaps the conference’s most entertaining presentation, also took to task the culture of “fun”, arguing that we have been trained to see our work as “fun”, making us more productive for the capitalist system. Christian Fuchs most forcefully argued for a communist Internet, stating that exploitation on Web 2.0 is infinite because users are not being paid material wages. A good Marxian, he downplayed the importance of immaterial value gained through sites like Facebook because we live in a capitalism system based on the material. And Ulises Mejias takes Web 2.0 to task for the creation of corporate Monopsonies, where we have seen Facebook, Amazon, eBay, YouTube, Google and so on become corporate titans of Web 2.0 capitalism. He argues that using these corporate Monopsonies is dangerous and irresponsible, calling for open-source and public versions of these types of services.

Thus, it is clear to see why Google was reluctant to join this conference. Frank Pasquale forcefully called on Google to be more transparent. Given what was discussed above, as well as Google’s central status in our day-to-day knowledge-seeking life, Pasquale leaves us with questions to ponder: should its page-rank algorithm be public? Should Google be allowed to up-rank or down-rank links based their relationship to the company? Should Google be able to simply remove pages from its listings? Should Google be forced to let us know when they do these things? ~nathan

The Googlization of Everything

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From paskids.com

This is the definition of PAS as described by R.A. Gardner who discovered the syndrome and has become an expert in dealing with the issue.

Gardner’s definition of PAS is:

“The parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent.”

(Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.)

Basically, this means that through verbal and non verbal thoughts, actions and mannerisms, a child is emotionally abused (brainwashed) into thinking the other parent is the enemy. This ranges from bad mouthing the other parent infront of the children, to withholding visits, to pre-arranging the activities for the children while visiting with the other parent.

Read more about it at www.paskids.com

Published by: ABP World Group International Child Recovery Service

Here is the album review I promised on my twitter yesterday!  Before I start, once again I want to thank you all for supporting my blog, both my music reviews and my personal entries.  I really appreciate all the views and I hope that you’ll keep it locked here because I ain’t stoppin’! Thankyou.

You already know what I think of Russian Roulette, and the other 3 songs we’ve heard already from Rated R.  Generally, they portray a darker, edgier side to Rihanna, both in the production (deeper, more menacing beats) and lyrical content that includes a bit of cursing, a lot of swagger and references to pain, trials and tribulations.  ”Russian Roulette”, “Wait Your Turn” and “Hard” are more or less indicative of the album as a whole.  In contrast to her previous smash Good Girl Gone Bad, it’s a lot less uptempo.  The songs are mainly midtempos and ballads, which may alienate a lot of fans who want her faster, danceable material (though “Hard” and “Rude Boy” cater to these needs, and do so well with swagger lyrics – the latter seeing Rihanna come on to a ‘rude boy’ as if she were the guy who is gonna “put it on you”).  However, the slower material allows for two major things: one, to prove that Rihanna can actually sing.  Okay, she’s no Beyoncé, but she holds her own a lot better than many people might expect.  ”Russian Roulette” and closing standout “The Last Song” don’t employ lots of vocal runs, but they emphasise strong, clear vocals that prove Rihanna’s got a voice as well as a body – btw. the artwork for this era is immense! – and also go well with the more emotionally searching and vulnerable material.  Two, it allows for Rihanna to delve into her pain, and although it’s never made explicit that she’s referencing her love, abuse and love lost with Chris Brown, songs such as “Stupid In Love” and the epic “Cold Case Love” immediately bring that whole affair to mind.

Not every song is concerned with love lost.  ”Te Amo” is about a girl who’s infatuated with Rihanna, and its undulating beats have been beefed up slightly on the album version to make it more hypnotic and possibly (along with “Rude Boy”) the song that would have slotted in nicely on Good Girl Gone Bad.  ”Rockstar 101″ is backed up by Slash’s guitar work and like “Hard” and “Wait Your Turn”, it demonstrates Rihanna’s confidence in herself – something she perhaps wants to emphasise.  She is fierce!  However, compared to some of the other tracks, “Rockstar 101″ falls somewhat flat, as it doesn’t have as much depth as the emotionally-charged midtempos, nor does it ring as true as the harder-knocking songs.  It does demonstrate that Rihanna is not an urban artist – she’s a pop singer who encompasses a range of music. On this album, she combines elements of rock, pop, R&B and melds them together to create a dark album that works for the most part.  And credit goes to her for trying to improve on each album – like Good Girl Gone Bad, the amount of filler on the disc is fairly minimal (in contrast to her first two records) and she’s tried to do something different that has evolved as she has as a person.  So I must applaud that.

A couple of the ballads such as “Stupid In Love” and “Photographs” (which benefits from will.i.am’s synthed beats that kick in midway) are perfectly solid, but pale in comparison to the best tracks.  These are, in a nutshell, first single “Russian Roulette”, “Fire Bomb”, “G4L”, “Cold Case Love” and “The Last Song”.  These all work because Rihanna is putting herself out there vocally and emotionally.  The producers do a fantastic job (praise must go in particular to Justin Timberlake and The Ys’ work on “Cold Case Love”, which shows a gradual building of beatboxing, standard beats, guitars and strings to an epic climax that fades out by itself and underline Rihanna’s pain at a love misfired – “Release me now ’cause I did my time”) more or less throughout, but Rihanna herself carries the songs.  ”Fire Bomb” has been compared to something by Kelly Clarkson, but in my opinion it knocks much harder and is a compelling contrast to expectations – most people would expect a club banger from the title, when in fact it’s a slow pop/rock ballad which essentially says “if I’m going down in flames, you’re coming with me”.  ”G4L” is one of the darkest songs which shows Rihanna pledging to be “down 4 life”, ride or die until the end.  The off-key tweaks at the beginning signal something mysterious, and the lyric “I lick the gun when I’m done ’cause I know that revenge is sweet” is one of the best opening salvos I can remember.  The track brings to mind the tiny gun tattoos on the sides of Rihanna’s breasts, demonstrating that even if she may be a sweet person on the surface, she’s also a strong and determined one – her attitude is reflected in her music as much as her body art.

“The Last Song” was the track that stood out to me most from listening to the 30-second snippets, and it doesn’t disappoint – it’s a perfect closer to the album, not only in name but in texture also.  It employs a soaring guitar and heartwrenching lyrics, chronicling the realisation of a breakup.  ”The sad song ends up being the last song you’ll ever hear.”  Rihanna’s spare vocals almost seem to cry the lyrics throughout the track, and the buildup throughout the song until near the end where all the instruments fade out is done perfectly.  Rihanna said that she wanted Lil’ Wayne and Kings Of Leon to like her album, demonstrating her desired blend of urban and rock. The album is definitely a mélange of styles, but apart from “Hard”, I don’t see enough hip-hop for Weezy to connect with, and the rock elements are nowhere near as indie-pop as Kings Of Leon.  However, the soaring guitars provide something edgier and deeper within the context of a pop album, and the hard-hitting beats and synths knock plenty – the combination of which provide something quite extraordinary and special within itself.  Rihanna should be proud of this record.

Rated R has a focused aggression to it that rings truer than it did on Good Girl Gone Bad. Despite the lack of uptempo smashes, it’s a fantastic record that hopefully will have as much repeat-play value as her previous record.  Whether it’s because of her personal struggles, maturity as a young woman or desire to experiment musically (probably a combination of all three), Rated R shows growth.  I pray that her label doesn’t re-release the album, since it’s perfect as it is and comes across as something sincere, rather than designed to make money as a light pop confection.  Why I’m impressed with Rated R, beyond the simple fact that most of the songs are solid or better, is because it’s cohesive.  All the songs work together to make the album more than the sum of its parts.  It has a big emotional impact, and it sets a musical mood (dark, edgy and yet heartfelt) that doesn’t let up throughout – in her own words, from “Hard”, “that Rihanna rain/reign”.  I didn’t know if she had it in her to best Good Girl Gone Bad, but even if it doesn’t have as many number 1 smashes and addictive beats, Rated R is a musical step forward that I personally value that little bit more.

1.1.3 Marxist Anthropology

Definition – Anthropology is the study of humanity (from the Greek word anthropos, meaning ‘human being’).

The Marxist understanding of what it is to be human can be summarised as the Myth of the New Man – a transformed human being who functions according to the principles established by the Marxist ‘religion’ in order to create a new type of society. This ‘new man’ is in fact nothing other than the re-elaboration in secular and ‘scientific’ terms of a similar Christian project for the transfiguration of the human being. Why is there a need for a ‘new’ man? Obviously, this is because the ‘old’ man is not good enough. Christianity and Marxism agree on this point. Yet the solutions they propose are diametrically opposed and totally incompatible. Thus, Marxism avoids talking about personal sin. It prefers to use the term alienation, seen as a social concept – human beings are seen as victims of an unjust economic system, based on private property and controlled by those who own the ‘means of production’.

According to Marxism, religion is nothing but a weak ‘means of escape’ for people exploited by ruthless capitalists. This is why, instead of rising up against those who exploit them, the working class, encouraged by their exploiters, have conceived of a God ‘according to the image of man’ who they suppose can save them, not in this life but rather in the world to come. Viewed from this perspective, religion becomes a means of undermining the revolutionary consciousness of the proletariat, and as such it has to be uprooted by all means, so that the working class can be truly saved, that is, can overcome its alienation.

Marxist anthropology involves a complete reversal of the Christian view of the human condition. Human beings (particularly the working class) are viewed as basically innocent (in the tradition of J. J. Rousseau). Evil as a social reality appeared on this earth when at a particular moment in time during the ‘primitive commune’, certain leaders decided to grab for themselves what had until then been the common property of the group or tribe. As a consequence, the evil present in society through the allegedly destructive mechanism of private property needs to be removed through the violent means of revolution. According to Marxism, this radical change in the social and economic structure of society will create the conditions for the formation of the ‘new man’.

“I’m scared to look cuz I’m scared to see
I’m scared of you cuz I’m scared of me”

“Fear” – Jazmine Sullivan

I could have quoted the whole damn song for this post, to be honest – the lyrics are so well-written and true. (Give it a listen sometime – I’m sure it’s on youtube.) The last few days, I’ve been thinking that I sorta scare myself in some ways.  The intensity of the feelings I have for the man I want, whom I can never have.  But it’s not really about that.

He’s not single.  If we ever did get together, it would be the destruction of a family, the trust and love and everything that’s been built into that.  I’ve been privileged enough, even after us only knowing each other for 2 months, to witness that first hand when I’ve been invited round to his house.  When I was a child, I used to resent my father for never being there, and I used to be somewhat scared of him when he was.  To see the kind of man, husband and father that my friend is, really tells me that that he is who I want to be in 10 years.  He’s an inspiration.  And yet, why can’t I stop these feelings?  Why am I so selfish as to even consider risking destroying the family he’s built, and depriving a young son (3 years old) of the very same things I didn’t have, when I know first-hand how miserable it is to grow up with a father who is only physically there a small amount of the time, and emotionally absent during even those times?  That’s what scares me about myself.

He’s in my dreams near enough every night. We text each other a lot when we’re not physically together. I haven’t felt this way about anyone since the teenage crushes I went through (you know what it’s like – we’ve all been there), and it scares me that rather than having grown up and gotten past these kinds of feelings, I can still get wrapped up in them.  Most of the time, to have such a close bond with someone and to share the same sense of humour and emotional insights (despite our different lives) brings me such joy and security. In my current desolate home situation (and the lengthy boredom that is my placement at the moment!), it’s a light in the darkness.  But occasionally, when I’m alone I miss him so much.  When he texts me, it lights up my morning or evening. It feels like we are linked, even across the distance. And when he doesn’t text me, I’m almost devastated and I start getting paranoid that I’ve done something to harm our friendship.  Yep, it’s textbook infatuation. So what do I do with it?

It scares me that I don’t know.  Feelings aren’t something you can just make go away with the click of a finger.  And I don’t want to change anything about our relationship – it’s precious and rare! Although I guess I’m quite a popular person, I still consider myself to have but a handful of truly close friends, and I don’t want to stop him from becoming one of them. So I am not willing to be apart from him, and I don’t know if that is necessarily the answer. I’m never going to reveal my feelings for fear of alienating him – not that we don’t flirt! Our relationship can be quite suggestive and flirtatious. But I try and monitor myself so it’s not OTT – and he reciprocates plenty!  So there’s an innocence and a fun to it, which is enjoyable. I don’t want to jeopardise that either by being too honest and full-on, nor by suddenly becoming aloof. It would hurt him and it would not be genuine.  So I guess I have to continue and wait for my feelings to fade and rationale to win out… and try not to do anything stupid. And while I may be scared at the fantasies in my head possibly coming true, I know that I can hold back.  Most of the time. Hopefully my fears are unfounded.

Raven And Ghost (Kalliope Amorphous, 2009)

i recall her eyes as dark and anxious constrictions
her gaze conceived in the throat of a wolf
in the moment before muscle
pushed the howling through

her smile danced with the beautiful torment of my own memories
as she brought mirrors and pressed them to my icy tomb
where i could see, in quick flashes beneath cold fog
my child lips making wishes on the corpses of dandelions

hoping as their flower white ghosts floated skyward
that they would send my child lamentations to their gods
but the gravity of uncertainty drew me to my knees
where i envisioned the world a vulturous void
for which my body was a falling through

she gripped my hand and took it into her mouth
where i felt the fluttering paper
of birds wings pretending to be words
her mouth closed softly around my trembling hand
my fingers swam eagerly in the wet void of her prophecy

from her wordless tongue there came a sound
like the tolling of a distant bell
meant only to be heard by the corpse and the fetus
in the moment before their lungs are overwhelmed

here my fettered uncertainty has languished
like a prisoner horrified at his open cage
who mistakes the caress of a ravens wing
for the dragging tease of a whip
across the cheek of an infidel

now blistering like wounds drawn by fire
i arise raw and burned to my blood
pink and throbbing like the throat of a lion
love has rendered me a monster in this holy fane
where men make gods from the blood of the mire