روس کو بہت کام کرنا ہوگا تاکہ وہ عالمی فٹ بال فیڈریشن یعنی فیفا کا قابل پھروسہ شریک کار ثابت ہو سکے جس نے ہمارے ملک کو 2018 میں عالمی فٹ بال چیمپین شپ کی میزبانی کا شرف دیا ہے۔ روس میں اس ٹورنامنٹ کے انعقاد کے لیے تیرہ نئے سٹیڈیم تعمیر کئے جانے کی ضرورت ہے۔ اندازوں کے مطابق تعمیراتی اخراجات چار ارب ڈالر ہوں گے۔

Watch this video, all of it if you have time. It’s really funny.

I can’t believe this girl had the audacity to ask Aly if she knew about the Aly, Aliya shipper on tumblr. Isn’t that some kind of lesbian tumblr.lol

This is Classic stuff here people.

you don’t have to be a gymnast to love gymnastics….right?

no…i am not a gymnast. i did gymnastics when i was seven years old for about six weeks until i realized i was in a class with four year olds and had no athletic ability or attention span. i dabbled in other sports, until teams started making cuts, and then i retired to yoga. i never have liked watching sports on tv. i go to games to chat with friends and spend a ridiculous amount of money on overpriced kettle corn. i could barely even tell who was playing, let alone the rules of the game.

i remember watching the 2004 athens olympics. i was ten and about to start fifth grade. i liked carly patterson, and svetlana khorkina scared me. i remember morgan and paul hamm. i remember thinking the russian gymnasts should smile more.

when beijing rolled around i was about to be a freshman in high school. i watched shawn and nastia and knew only a few others. i rooted for the americans because they were american and amazing in general. i would watch every now and then after beijing, but i did not really get hooked until 2011 world championships. ohemgee jordyn wieber! i then found myself addicted…i learned the gymnasts past and present. i can tell when a score is good or bad. i can identify certain skills. and i have become a ‘traitor’ according to my family when i announced i would be cheering for aliya mustafina in the london olympics.

i still love the fierce five. and was happy to see them win gold. but there is something about musty that made me look twice, she is called a ‘diva’ by the nbc commentators, but i see her as being passionate, resilient, and determined. and she has an awesome bitch face to top it all off. she brings artistry back to gymnastics and combines it with difficulty and elegance that is often lacking from modern gymnasts. i was thrilled when she won the uneven bars gold, her bars are the best i have seen. yes nastia was great…but she needed a better dismount. beth tweddle though her skills are amazingly difficult never holds her handstands. he kexin is amazing and she has one of the coolest routines i have seen. but mustafina takes it to a different level, she makes it seem smooth and effortless in a way they others dont.

one of my other favorites is jordyn wieber. i cried for an hour after she did not make the all around final. something needs to be done about that rule, it would have been so much more exciting if jordyn was in the mix, and the USA would probably have won two medals. i love aly raisman too, her floor routine is amazing. wow. and she seems like a genuine person.

some of my other favorites include jiang yuyuan (her smile is the best ever), raluca haidu (the secret of deva anyone?), larisa iordache, sabrina vega, kyla ross, viktoria komova, and mckayla maroney.

watching gymnastics makes me wish i was a gymnast….i can do a cartwheel! and a handstand…..(against a wall) im almost there! rio 2016?

*not my photos*

Back in 2008, my absolute favorite was Nastia Liukin. She brings the Artistic to Artistic Gymnastic something that you don’t easily find nowadays. It has become mostly of a power play, which sucks. Not a lot of competitors looks graceful. Anyway, back to Nastia Liukin. She won the All Around finals in Beijing and 4 more medals.

For this year, my favorite is Aliya Mustafina. I just love her attitude. Fierce! She won the World AA championship in 2010 but she injured her ACL last year. She was able to come back to compete, and hello, she became an olympic champion! Like Nastia, she did well in the Olympics winning gold in Uneven Bars, 1 silver, and 2 bronzes.

Both girls got the difficulty and the grace. Both girls have a move named after them, the Liukin and the Mustafina. Also, both girls were the most decorated gymnasts in their respective Olympics. Nastia already retired (I believe) and I hope Aliya will continue competing because I’d like to see more of her in Rio 2016

Preggo Nose:  Stale beer mixed with river water! (after a loud hiss of air out of her nose and about two minutes of looking like she might vomit)

I was a bit of a dick to The Nose today.  I always smell the beer before she smells it and today I though “smells like a moldy sponge.”  Let’s hope the taste makes up for it.

Ok, on second sniff…smells more like a Bud Light, and on first sip that’s pretty much the flavor – Blue Moon mixed with Bud Light.  Maybe I was expecting too much out of this beer (seeing as dreamsicle is the SHIT) but this beer seems inconsistent.  One sip tastes like Bud Light, the next sip tastes like a watered down Blue Moon.  Not bad until you realize both are cheaper than this beer (it costs 9,49 for a six-pack).

Made myself some noodles (egg, cooked in chicken broth, which is apparently an odd item to eat) and some chicken, let’s see how some food changes things…meh, smoothed it out a bit I guess.

So the ruling is: “eh…….this beer would get it”.  If there were nothing else to drink, I’d drink this.  It’s not bad, but there are both beer which are better and cheaper and beers a little worse and much cheaper.  Obviously comparable beers are Blue Moon and Bud Light.  If you are looking for a unique flavor I would go with Banana Bread Beer by Wells & Young’s Ltd.

Story Time with Custer:

The Nose wants me to tell you the Winter Clothes story in honor of me setting her up earlier.  When The Nose and I lived in Georgia we decided to take a trip up to my hometown in Northern VA.  This trip took place towards the end of November and The Nose, being from Texas, has apparently never experienced “cold”.  I’m watching her pack and she’s packing all these early fall clothes.  I ask her “Don’t you want to bring some winter clothes?”.  She responds by grabbing a light jacket “just-in-case”.  Not realizing that the coldest it gets in Texas in November is the mid 50s, I rolled my eyes at my wife’s show of ”toughness” and decided she could afford to learn a lesson.  (Also I’ve learned that trying to tell anyone they are wrong just makes them dig their heels in.  This only happens in the absence of genuine proof however.  Had I known that she simply didn’t have all the facts, I would have taken a different route.  With the absence of this knowledge I decided the best way for her not to make the mistake again, was to make the mistake once in an epic fashion.)  So we go to my parents’ house for thanksgiving, for her to meet my parents, and (most importantly) tell them we’re married.  She obviously looked ridiculous, caught a cold and was miserable for much of the trip.  Haha, I would like to point out that she remembers this story vividly four years later and CONSTANTLY checks the weather when we are planning trips.  Theory holds true!

Increasingly Drunk Thoughts: (I forgot to record how much, but I had two six packs by the end.)

1)  Michael Phelps needs to do another Olympics.  Not because I’m some super fan but because, if he doesn’t compete until an acceptable “too old to go on” age, every Olympian will have Michael Phelps’ “how many could he have gotten” shadow over them when they break his record.  Its simply unsportsmanlike.

2)  I’m getting tired of this moist jerky movement.  Jerky should be dry.  If I want moist I’ll get a God Damn steak.

3)  While I was scouring my parents house for some food which might sate my voracious appetite my mom claimed she had some “French Toast Pizza”.  My brain shut down from the juxtaposition of: a) the horror of that concoction as a meal and b) the potential deliciousness as a dessert…until she said Stouffer’s and I knew she meant French BREAD Pizza.

4)  Man, it’s a sad state of affairs when you’re bored with getting drunk…I guess that’s what happens when your wife is gone for a month and you consume over 120 beers and a bottle of rum.

5)  Whoever wrote that song “Proud to be an American” is a Jackass.  Not only do I have to listen to that garbage before every single esprit de corp run in the military, but the fucker is a liar.  He claims he would gladly “stand up and defend that right today” but he is NOT in the military (and with some fact checking he has not been in the military and his name is Lee Greenwood).  He is just capitalizing off the patriots who are.  (He should have sold the song to a struggling former military artist with whom Greenwood believed the song rang true.)

6)  It is wrong to make pregnant women worry over nothing: such as pointing out that our new daughter will have a Hebrew name while watching the preview for Possession…and to laugh at a pregnant woman complaining about asshole pain during birth and turning to your pregnant wife to say “That’s gonna be you soon!”.  MY WIFE IS AN ANGEL.

7)  Jessica Ennis is super hot, so is Aliya Mustafina and Makayla Maroney (whatever, you know it’s true).  Complex Sports (who just made a Top something hottest Olympians list) needs to redo its list to include two more categories: other countries and underage.  Just because you recognize beauty does not mean you are a pedophile.  Jess really seems like an amazing woman and great sportswoman.

8)  I would argue that comedians are the philosophers of our time.  I’m not sure if that’s sad or not.  Entertainment or education?  (I have no  idea what I meant by that note)

9)  I’m not sure if Wheat Thins has the worst advertisement ever (close up of a guy’s mouth)…or just that Failblog plays it before every video.

10)  I realize now that drunken thoughts needs a second person, otherwise I just absorb thoughts until something random happens.  Also…alcohol appears to cause Restless Leg Syndrome, or at least increase the likelihood of symptoms.

Whether you were pleased or disappointed about the results of the Games, they’re finished now, and there are a lot of things to look forward to over the next quad! There are some exciting new skills in the works, some brilliant up-and-coming young gymnasts and some very interesting changes to the code of points.

New Skills

McKayla Maroney’s TTY

It is widely agreed that with the skill and ease that McKayla Maroney performs her Amanar, she could easily pull out a triple-twisting Yurchenko sometime over the next quad, perhaps even as early as next year (although that may be wishful thinking). It has been rumoured for a while that she has been training one, but I still have yet to find a source to back this up.

Mai Murakami’s Quad Turn

This video has been out there for a while now. It’s very rare to see a quad turn on floor, let alone on beam, so I’m looking forward for Mai to start performing this over the next four years.

Promising Gymnasts

Kyla Ross

Kyla already has a high level of difficulty and performs her routines beautifully, but I can’t help thinking that she is just going to get better with time. She doesn’t seem to have hit her peak yet, and she’s quite young so has plenty of time to improve.

Aliya Mustafina

Aliya deserves a mention here because despite already having won the 2010 Worlds and a bunch of medals at this year’s Olympics, I still think she has more in her. At the Olympics she looked fantastic but was still not quite at her peak. I don’t know if she can get there for Rio, but I think we’ll see some lovely work from her in 2013 and 2014 if she decides to continue.

Larisa Iordache

It was so disappointing that she was injured during the Games and couldn’t compete to her full potential. I’m hoping she can recover well and start winning lots of medals over the next quad.

Code of Points

My thoughts on the Code of Points for next quad ended up taking a little more space than I originally thought, so I will dedicate a whole post to this shortly.

Brief translation (the most interesting parts)

English translated by Alyona.  Thank You!!!

IV-Irina Viner
EK – Evgenia Kanaeva
H- Host

IV: My mother used to say “When I watch Evgenia Kanaeva performing, I am absolutely relaxed, as if I am watching Plissetskaya” (Plissetskaya is a world famous ballet dancer).

H: People say that the girls were not allowed to use their mobile phones during the preparation for the OG. Is this true?

IV: During the last six months they lived in a “prison” with upgraded conditions.

H: Zhenya, how did it feel like to live in that sort of “prison”? How was the food?

EK: The food was ok. Of course, it was not easy as for every sportsman during the preparation time. But it was worthwhile.

IV: So many people supported us all around the world – from little girls to grown up men. And it would be a great shame to lose. This what I tried to convince the girls about and they understood it.

H: Zhenya, have you read the titles of the British and French newspapers: KANAEVA IS UNREACHABLE; A RUSSIAN MAKES HISTORY; KANAEVA IS PHENOMINAL, ONE DOESN’T NEED TO BE RUSSIAN TO UNDERSTAND HOW GOOD KANAEVA IS, etc.? Have you read it?

EK: No, I haven’t.

H: No? So you should know that the whole world admires you, not only Russia!

EK: Thank you!

H: I know that one of your colleges supported you as well – Aliya Moustafina. Aliya, were you among the audience?

Aliya: No, unfortunately I couldn’t visit the competition, but I was following it on TV.

EK: I haven’t seen Aliya performed either because I never watch competitions before I finish mine. But I supported her as well and we exchanged messages on phone.

IV: The conditions during the preparation for the OG were just great. The girls had everything they needed except freedom. We had the best medicine, food, recovery supplement. The government did everything for us!

I have been watching a lot of gymnastics meet online and this one didn’t disappoint in terms of achievements, milestones and drama.

Brazil’s most successful female gymnast, Jade Barbosa was not allowed to join the national team due to, of all issues, corporate sponsorship. This is quite sad considering a female gymnast has a shelf life in terms of physical capacity to be in these games and 4 years wasted and another 4 years of waiting may be too long for some.

Jordyn Weiber, the current World all-around champion and considered a shoo-in for the all-around competition along with Gabby Douglas was outperformed by Aly Raisman to qualify for the finals. This is due to the current 2 athletes per country rule to prevent a medals sweep of a country. There have been discussions online as to whether this rule is better than not putting any limitations and both sides have pros and cons. I myself am currently undecided and would need to hear and read more of both sides in order to make an informed decision.

The US team won gold, only the second time after the Magnificent Seven back in 1996 which was held in Atlanta.

The reigning Olympic champion China places fourth, behind Romania who was just starting to rebuild itself after famed coach Octavian Bellu’s return in 2010. They’ve won a team medal at every Olympics since 1976. This proves that they may not necessarily have the biggest skills but with simpler moves they can be consistent and make fewer mistakes. They often get criticized a lot for their lack of creativity and being boring but their strategy is that they are aware that at some point in the competition an athlete will fall off an apparatus and that it’s not going to be one of them. So far it has worked pretty well for them.

Gabby Douglas is the first African-American to win the women’s all-around title.

Aliya Mustafina completes her comeback as a force to be reckoned with after being sidelined for sometime due to an injury. She leaves the competition as the most decorated among her peers, winning Gold in the Uneven Bars, Silver with her team and a Bronze each for the All-around and Floor exercise.

There were a lot of scores that tied which lead to heartbreaking tiebreakers. Aly Raisman lost to Aliya Mustafina for the All-around bronze, but won over Catalina Ponor for the beam bronze. Aliya Mustafina again won over Vanessa Ferrari on the floor bronze.

McKayla Maroney’s unimpressed with her Silver medal finish for Vault. This is because all year long she has been a shoo-in for the gold medal, having the best Amanar vault in the world. She’s been scoring in the 15.9 to 16.2 range for a vault that’s worth a 16.5, where other gymnasts’s start value is usually at around 15.8. Her first vault was great as usual, but she sat down her second one, a Mustafina which is considered an easier vault for her. You can see the expression on her face as she sat it down that she was totally expecting to have nailed it – but didn’t. She still was at first place even after that with only one more athlete to go. Unfortunately that one other athlete left was a Romanian and once again proved that consistency is just as important as the big skills. Maroney’s expression during the awarding ceremony became an internet meme and has even produced a Tumblr and Twitter parody page.

Lastly, in a sport dominated by women between the ages of 16 to 18, two athletes proved that you can be a gymnast at any age regardless of your circumstance. At 37, Oksana Chusovitina’s career started way before most of her current competitors were even born. She even has a child that is around the same age as they are. While she may have not won a medal in her sixth and final Olympics, her presence in this Olympiad is akin to that of a goddess descending from the heavens leaving everyone in awe. As for Catalina Ponor, while other gymnasts such as Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson found it difficult to come back from their last Olympics four years ago, she went to the 2004 Olympics, was retired during the 2008 meet then came back for the 2012 London Olympics at the age of 24, winning team bronze and a silver on the floor.

On a personal note, Filipinos can kind of claim that we already won a gold medal in the Olympics courtesy of Fil-Am gymnast Kyla Ross. This only goes to show that Filipinos can excel at this sport in an international level more so than at any other. Aside from Kyla, another Fil-Am, Sarah Finnegan was one of three chosen as replacements if any of the original team members were to succumb to an injury. Both recently turned seniors and expect them to make waves in the next few years eventually leading to Rio in 2016. Hopefully by then we have accepted the fact that our first gold in the Olympics will come from gymnastics. Let’s start working on it!

Unfortunately no videos are online yet, either they have named them obscurely or will not post them after quite some time to avoid getting taken down. In four years time, I’ll make sure to catch the games live and I’ll post my own videos and notes on how it went. See you in Rio de Janeiro.

Marcel Nguyen

Marcel Nguyen

本来没刻意要看男子体操，某日看报章报道这位德越混血儿因为长得超帅而在网络上爆红，好奇下特意查赛程表看男子双杆决赛，想了解下他的风采是如何颠倒众生。这一看，还真明白了他的魅力所在。虽然个子不高，但五官精致；身型健硕却毫无粗犷感，反而因为皮肤白皙而予人很干净斯文的感觉。最重要的是，他那带点纯真的笑容无比迷人！！！一笑起来，真是无法不盯住他看，心还有一点点被融化的感觉。如果有最具魅力笑容奖，一定要颁给他。

Hamilton Sabot

Hamilton Sabot

因为看男子双杆决赛，还发现了另一位同样帅气的参赛者。这位来自法国的帅哥个子较高，笑容也好看，而且外型比较有成熟男人味，更对我口味，哈哈哈。

之前已查知德国帅哥挺厉害，所以他在比赛中得银牌不算是意外，倒没想过法国帅哥会得铜牌。让我还能看到两位帅哥在颁奖礼上一起领奖的风采，那晚我的眼福真好，哈哈哈。

Jessica Ennis

Jessica Ennis

发现这位美女，纯属意外。

某日随便看下田径，打算转台之际忽然看到这位英国选手还挺漂亮的，于是暂不转台，看了一下她的表现，记住了她的名字，心想下次再看田径时或许还会看到她。由于没特意去看，她参加的七项全能，我好像就只看了两三项吧，不过能看到她在最后一项的800米赛跑里冲线赢得金牌就够了。之前没注意得分榜，所以也没料到她会得冠军，后来才知道原来她是英国田径界的偶像明星，曾得过世界冠军，却因伤错过上届北京奥运。能在自己的地方，在支持自己的同胞面前，为自己的国家赢得金牌，那种喜悦不是每个人都有机会感受到的。看她冲线后先狂喜、再松了口气，然后倒地喜极而泣，全场人尽情欢呼，连我也被感动了。特别喜欢她充满感染力的笑容，看她在颁奖台上接受金牌和掌声时露出的笑容，灿烂得不得了，十分好看。（好吧，我对笑得灿烂又好看的人总是比较容易有好感。）

噢，还有她那六块腹肌，竟然令我生平第一次感觉羡慕。:P

Aliya Mustafina

Aliya Mustafina

眼睛大大，鼻子高高，这位年快18的俄罗斯体操冠军是典型的美人胚子，不过她的样子看起来有点难伺候（事实证明我这次以貌取人没错，她的教练也说她有时确实难搞，哈）。小美女目光炯炯，眼神凌厉深邃，笑起来时总是傲气十足，令人无法不留下深刻印象。尤其当她赢得高低杠金牌后所展示的笑容，真是神气得不得了，甚至可以说是“趾高气扬”。正因为这种带点高傲自负的自信，令她的每一场表现都赏心悦目（而她在参加的4个项目中全获得奖牌）。

McKayla Maroney

McKayla Maroney

这位还没够17岁的小妹妹固然青春可人，但年纪尚轻，还不算是我特别欣赏的类型，不过倒是因为她，我开始追看体操赛事（可惜至今仍无缘看到团体赛的赛事，重播都被我错过了）。事缘某日在某论坛忽然看到有人以一组女子跳马动态图作回复，图里女生的跳马动作相当华丽，连续空翻后旋转平稳落地，令我惊骇得哇了一声（当然我的惊骇程度是绝对比不上当时看得目瞪口呆的评审）。这是什么？几时发生的？是电脑合成吗？谷歌后才知道原来那是世界跳马冠军在奥运女子体操团体赛里跳出了如此利落完美的极高度难度动作，获得几近满分的16.233分（而评审也因为没给她满分而遭舆论批评），令美国队领先并最终获得金牌。

这下我可是对这位小妹妹感到兴趣，得知她入选跳马项目的决赛，怀着无比期待的心情守住电视，却因为下雨讯号中断而错过她的表现。后来看重播，她的第一跳相当漂亮，获得全场最高分，却在第二跳突然失手，落地而坐，震惊了所有人，最终以微差屈居亚军。据说她之前做过30多次那套动作，从未犯过如此失误，却在今届奥运最后一场比赛的最后一跳，不寻常地失手，失望之情可以想象。她也没掩饰自己的失落，在颁奖礼上黑脸撇嘴，却意外成为经典表情，迅速在网上火红。

事后她说她懊恼不是因为她错失金牌，而是她知道自己有能力做好两套动作、为自己的国家增光却在最后一刻没能办到。她也说自己落地坐了下来，是不值得获得金牌，而体操就是这样子，不可能每次表现都完美无误。嗯，常追求完美却总是无法完美的处女座表示十分理解。其实小妹妹坐在地上还能以仅0.1分之差获得银牌，证明她是很了不起的。没在颁奖礼上掩饰情绪，纯属少年人的真性情，而她的撇嘴表情遭到网友趣味恶搞，她也懂得以自嘲回应，小女孩的心态还是不错的。

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另外得提一下她的同龄队友Gabrielle Douglas获得个人全能的金牌后，在接下来的两个项目连续表现失准，排名殿后。赛后她说，她不是失败者，而是超级英雄，因为她做到了别人做不到的事情；不过同时她也是一个人，而人总会犯错、失误，尤其在体操运动里，每个人总会失准，经历糟糕的一天。必须赞扬这位小朋友面对成败的心态十分成熟，而她那番话正是我看完奥运后最大的感想。

虽然有很多运动员争金牌输了、进三甲失败了，甚至排名排到最后去了，但能参加奥运已经是很不简单的事情。当那两位体操美少女说运动员总有失误时，而失误不过是人生其中糟糕的一天，看似轻描淡写，其实运动员的糟糕一天或许会比一般人的糟糕一天更糟。很多运动员每天辛勤练习，刻苦四年，为的就是要在至高无上的奥运竞技，表现自己最强的一面，争取荣誉。有时一次小失误，足以让之前流过的汗水、受过的压力、忍过的身体疼痛和疲劳都白费了，然后又得再等四年，再刻苦四年，身体状况却未必如四年前那么好。所以，当运动员因为自己表现失准（又或者是其他人犯错–那坐了2小时都不肯走的南韩女剑击手输金牌还真是输得很冤）错失奖牌、错过决赛而生气、痛哭时，就让他们生气、痛哭吧。那是人之常情，那是他们应有的权利。

而无论成功或失败，每位参加奥运的运动员，都是优秀的运动员，都是自己和家人的英雄，他们在背后付出的努力、坚持和毅力值得令所有人敬重。

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好啦，虽然Usain Bolt的100米短跑秀很精彩、陈若琳的跳水很赞、Jessica Ennis的800米冲线很激动人心、左林右李的羽球对决很紧张，但最令我念念不忘的还是McKayla Marooney那令人惊叹连连的完美跳马。就以她的跳马动态图结束这篇伦敦奥运观后感吧。

Mckayla Maroney’s Perfect Vault

（PS：前几天特意半夜起身，生平第一次准时收看奥运闭幕礼直播至完场，为的是少时曾热切喜爱过的Spice Girls。等了两个小时，看到她们从闪闪发亮的计程车里走出来，全场疯狂欢呼，我的心震动了。虽然她们已非当年的美少女，但成熟风韵令她们的魅力犹在。其实只要她们五个站在一起就是魅力，就是Girl Power。看着她们唱Wannabe，唱Spice Up Your Life，我忍不住微笑了，感觉就像回到以前她们风靡全球的时候。少睡3个小时，是值得的。当然，闭幕礼犹如一场街头派对式的音乐嘉年华，华丽而热闹，时尚而欢庆，确实精彩。其实这次敦奥的开幕和闭幕庆典都很出色，虽无京奥的富丽堂皇和令人惊叹的特技表演，但以简约和创意幽默的方式展现影响全球的英国人文和流行文化，却更贴近生活，更有亲切感，看得轻松而舒服。我喜欢。）

(1) Eat Fierce Five Corn Flakes:

What better way to keep the Olympic spirit alive than to start every day with a bowl of Corn Flakes, fresh from a box emblazoned with the smiling faces of our five favorite tiny gymnastics queens? The only thing that would make this box better is if Bela Karolyi made an appearance on the back panel.

(2) Take Up Speed Walking:

When I was little, I used to watch the Olympics and dream about being that talented. Now that I’m older than many Olympians and have realized I possess no athletic talent whatsoever, it has become clear that this is a pipe dream. That is, until I saw Race Walking, which, as far as I can tell, is walking really fast. Walking! An Olympic sport I can get on board with.

(3) Learn How to Apply Aliya Mustafina-Inspired Eye Makeup:

Nothing says, “don’t mess with me” like dramatic, Russian diva gymnast eye makeup. Taking cues from Mustafina, I can use my spare time to brush up on my eye makeup application skills. The essential elements? Dramatic black wing tips, lots of glitter, and waterproof mascara (for the inevitable tears when I don’t stick my dismount and have a meltdown).

(4) Email Friends About Topics Other Than Nathan Adrian’s Adorableness or the Thrilling Outcomes of Women’s Soccer Matches:

I may be obsessed with the Olympics, but at least I’m not alone. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had some amazing Olympic-related email chains going with friends. Now that the Olympics are over, we can finally get back to emailing each other about normal things (like adorable puppy videos and how awful guys are).

(5) Incorporate “The Bolt” Into Every Photograph I Take:

Planking is so five minutes ago, people. We all need to be Bolting, in literally every picture we take. Usain Bolt is an insanely good athlete (just ask him!), and we need to incorporate his fabulosity into our everyday lives.

(6) Acquire a Water Polo Robe:

My favorite uniform of the Olympics was – by far – the robes sported by water polo players. Just imagine how cool you would look working one of these bad boys the next time you head to the beach or the pool. The super tiny Speedos, on the other hand? Not recommended by any means.

(7) Aggressively Avoid the Ryan Lochte Media Blitz:

The media and the internet keep trying to make Ryan Lochte happen and I’m here to tell you: we cannot give into them. Lochte will undoubtedly be on a million talk shows over the next few weeks and, when that happens, you should plan to be doing anything but watching. Who’s with me? Jeah!

(8) Make Submissions for the McKayla Is Not Impressed Website:

I’m sure everyone will have forgotten this website by next week and be onto the next meme, but I’m still semi-obsessed with the McKayla Is Not Impressed tumblr. I mean, you guys! She’s more terrifying than Posh Spice, and that’s saying something. What can we Photoshop her into next?

(9) Figure out How to Make a Women’s Professional Soccer League Happen:

If you watched any of the women’s soccer tournament, and particularly the USA’s last two games, you know how exciting soccer can be (for serious!). I wish a women’s professional league could actually survive and succeed in the USA – it’s totally sad how we get excited over them for a few weeks and then they slowly fade away for the next few years. Let’s make a professional league happen, people. I’m thinking we could just dismantle the NBA and let soccer take its place. Sound good?

(10) Start a Countdown Calendar for Sochi:

540 days, people! It’s practically time to start preparing again.

(Images Sources: Fierce Five via E Online, Race Walk via London 2012, Aliya Mustafina via Annie Barrett’s Twitter feed, Nathan Adrian via The Washington Post, Usain Bolt via The Star, USA Water Polo via Fly with a Freebird, Ryan Lochte via Jezebel, McKayla Maroney via McKayla Is Not Impressed, Soccer via Zap2It, and Sochi 2014 via The Inspiration Room)

Women’s Artistic All Around Make-Up Gold Medalist – ALIYA MUSTAFINA (RUS)

That’s what I call almond. Aliya shows silver lids with glitter on the inside corners with the slightest brown on the inside corner rims. Check the contour. She brings it straight forward at the bottom, pointing right at the Bow Lip. She keeps that lip pale and not shiny.  Ten.

(The nose is an eleven on it’s own.)

“Sometimes we forget that life is a journey. We keep wanting to skip ahead to a “happier time”, but in order to grow we need both the good and the bad times. So we must take life one step at a time and enjoy the present moment for what it is now.”

                                                                                                                  – Aliya Mustafina

Tangent about international things: one  my favorite parts about using WordPress is seeing the different countries people are reading from. So shoutout to Macedonia that I didn’t even know existed until today. Thanks reader(s) in Macedonia! Your flag is actually pretty cool. It looks like the sun. Simplicity is key sometimes. It’s like, who needs stripes and symbols and writing. *Looks up to the sky.* I want THAT as our flag. And so it was.

With this international spirit, let’s talk about the London Olympics Closing Ceremony.
The closing ceremonies are going to be live in a couple of minutes and will rebroadcast here in the US later tonight. Let’s not talk about NBC online or I will become very hostile.

SO.
This is what would be my live-tweeting of the Closing Ceremony but people on twitter secretly (loudly actually) hate when I talk about 1D for long periods of time (remember this?) so I’m just gonna give you everything before it even happens. Because I’m that in tune with myself. I know what I’ll be thinking.

in no particular order …

wait what are they wearing

wait is that person still alive

oh my gosh, ___was British this whole time?

ONE DIRECTION OMG CRYING

STILL CRYING

PACKING MY SUITCASES AND BOOKING A FLIGHT TO ENGLAND THROUGH MY TEARS

TEARS ARE COVERING MY EYES I CAN’T SEE THE SCREEN ANYMORE

WIPING TEARS

OMG NO ENCORE COME BACK PLZ

Zayn you have exactly ONE blonde highlight what kind of a joke is your life.

OMG SPICE GIRLS

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE

Well, Baby didn’t age too well, as expected. #SpiceGirls

SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT.

Princess Kate. butterflies. #girlcrushing so hard.

can’t you look not pretty for just once. ughhhh Kate you kill me.

Prince Harry should be the sixth member of 1D.

WHERE’S TOM DALEY.

omg Ed Sheeran yayy.

Why are the Americans dressed as Canadians.

ooooooh fireworks.

WHERE’S ADELE. She was supposed to deliver her baby on stage as the finale. WHERE IS SHE.

oh hey I know this song!

USA USA USA

….etc etc etc.

I watched a lot of the Games this year with my sisters, who are four year fans. You know the type. No knowledge of the sport whatsoever. Its actually quite amusing. But it did make me think, too. I am obviously super, super invested–some would say overly invested–in the sport, and I felt exhausted at the end of each day of competition just from the massive flood of emotions. The thing about following a sport so closely all the time is that, at least for me, I feel so connected to the athletes. I follow the US constantly and to a somewhat lesser extent Mother Russia, Romania, GBR, etc. So I feel almost as though I know the girls. The experience of watching gymnastics is nothing at all like what it is when I (admittedly very very rarely) catch a glimpse of another sport. I can occasionally admire other sports–soccer, diving, swimming–for how cool some of the the things they do are, but I have no emotional involvement. My gymnastics fandom is about half appreciation for the sheer badassery and half emotional involvement in the athletes and their stories.

So why do I love gymnastics above all other sports? For one thing, it is the epitome of athleticism. Gymnasts do things with their bodies that should not be possible. They can bend and twist and flip in ways that quite literally defy gravity. They are also the toughest athletes you will ever meet. I’m a fairly lazy individual, if we are being honest, and so I cannot really imagine the kind of dedication and ambition it takes to get to the top of this sport. But I can sure as hell admire it in others. And gymnasts really are the toughest.

Of course, this level of toughness brings up some ethical questions. Should Jordyn Weiber have been allowed to compete on a leg with a stress fracture? Team doctor Larry Nassar noted that he was a bit worried that the pain might cause her to land on her head and break her neck, which is certainly a worry;  on the other hand, its the Olympic Games. Jo has been training for this her entire life.

I think it comes down to a cost benefit analysis. If competing on a stress fracture is going to cause inevitable lasting damage to your body that may never recover, maybe don’t do it. If it is “just” dealing with tremendous pain, well…

One of the things that I find horrifying about gymnastics is the stories of abuse that leak out. Recently Dominique Moceanu penned a book about her experiences, which are mostly pretty terrible. She details a lot of abuse. And there are horror stories from the Soviet days especially.

But several things make me feel better about this. One is that the age of gymnasts is slowly increasing. More and more athletes are in the 18-20 range and therefore less likely to put up with crap. The other is the rise of accessible social media. Even the girls at Round Lake are on facebook. Quite honestly, its going to be a lot harder as the world gets smaller to perpetuate abuses of any kind. More access to social media and to the rest of the world means that your voice can be heard.

Obviously I’m sure there are still many many issues. McKayla Maroney–one of my favorites–has a coach who I think is a total creep. obviously Al Fong is just Mr. Creepster. Etc etc.

But here’s what I meant to write about today: why gymnastics is a feminist sport. For me, there is really something in the idea that if these were guys competing –or rather, when the guys compete–no one puts on their concerned faces and asks if they are OK, if they are strong enough, etc. We need to do the same with the female athletes. We need to trust women–and girls–to know their own bodies, and their own limits. These athletes are not stupid. Are some of them probably in bad coaching situations? Well, yes. But don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Most gymnasts are strong minded, mentally tough athletes who can do things that you can’t even imagine. And let’s trust them to know for themselves what does and does not make sense. We can do this in part by encouraging ALL girls to know their bodies and their limits.

So. Congratulations, ladies. Aliya Mustafina gets a special award for coming back from an ACL tear just over a year ago to win bars, plus bronzes in the AA and floor finals and of course silver in the team. Gabby Douglas, what a victory for her, and how great to have the first woman of color win the AA (now shut the fuck up about her hair).  McKayla Maroney did the best vault anyone has ever done. Sui Lu and Deng Linlin showed us how beam should be done. Sandra Izbasa had an utterly hypnotizing floor routine. Her teammate Catalina Ponor did her fantastic beam routine. Jordyn Weiber–competing on a broken leg–came back after disappointment and helped her team to win. Oksana Chusovitna, one of the all time greats, finally said goodbye to the sport at the age of 37 in her 6th Olympics. Beth Tweddle finally got her Olympic medal in front of a home crowd. And the vault finals reminded us just how unpredictable the sport is. Come to think of it, almost every stage of the meet was full of surprises, which is nice in some ways–its good to have things shaken up a bit! Although of course I wish McKayla had won vault.

The other thing that is awesome about the Games–and I think this is true of all sports, but lets be honest, there’s only one I really care about–is how epic it feels. A lot of it is that its only every four years, so its not like we as a country–or a world–watch frequently enough to get tired of it, or weary of the emotional flood. Part of it is all of the fluff and the manufactured drama, which btw is just silliness–there is plenty of drama without manufacturing any. How could it be otherwise, when you have people who have trained their entire lives for this one moment? And part of it is just the scope. This is the big show. This is where it all comes to fruition. This is what you work for, what you push your body for, quite beyond its usual limits. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

At any rate. Congratulations to all of the marvelous athletes who competed on the biggest stage there is. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

1. John Geddert.

This man appears to be a walking double standard, and his behaviour lately has been a brilliant example of bad sportsmanship. It’s completely out of line for the Russian (or any other country’s) coaches to criticize the judging but when he does it, it appears to be okay – both to himself and to the wider gymternet. And wow, does he do it a lot.

Source: gymtruthteller.wordpress.com

I started researching this post hoping to find a link to the complaining he did after 2011 Worlds and instead found a post by ‘Because Fan is Short for Fanatic‘, listing numerous completely un-professional things he has either tweeted or re-tweeted. I have to say, my mouth actually dropped open at seeing all of this. American gym fans, this is your head coach. Embarrassed? I would be.

2. Unimpressed medal-winning gymnasts.

Source: Know Your Meme.com

Source: Reuters

Yeah… they’re both doing it.

Both Maroney and Komova had been primed to win for a very long time by coaches, fans and the media, and both expected to take home a gold medal. There was just no one out there better than McKayla, and now that Jordyn had been left out of the all-around Viktoriya would almost certainly win gold. Both missed out, and both were clearly shocked and confused.

However, gym fans on the whole seemed to miss the similarities here. For some reason, Komova was sulking and being a bad sport, as usual, while Maroney’s reaction was definitely understandable seeing as she’s a young teenager who has just had a very big disappointment. Hmm… I smell double standard.

3. Leg Form Issues

Source: My own

Catalina Ponor definitely had some leg form issues.

Source: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images Europe

So did Aliya Mustafina.

Source: My own

And so does Aly Raisman. That being probably the worst picture ever, but the screen cap caught the important bit. That blob in the middle of all the pink, yeah, that’s Aly. Apologies about the quality.

My point is that the best floor worker in the world also has pretty terrible twisting leg form (less noticeable, granted, but put it together with her issues with leaps), but she never gets called on it by gym fans. Double standards, again.

That’s enough griping for one night. I promise a much more positive post next time!