Some predators found hunting to be something of a real chore, so over the eons they evolved means of getting their food to come to them. All they have to do is sit perfectly still and wait. Perhaps the most intriguing of these lazy predators is the alligator snapping turtle, one of the most fearsome and beastly-looking reptiles on the planet and one that also happens to be number 7 in the scoundrel chart.

"And where do you think you're going?" www.dausettrails.com

This North American brute spends most of its time loitering on the bottom of lakes, rivers, swamps and canals. They’re very well camouflaged and in the murky depths its favoured prey, fish, probably have no idea of what terrible things lie in wait until it’s too late and they end up sliced in two by the turtle’s bolt-cropper jaws. If the turtle were to simply open its mouth and wait, it would be waiting for a very long time for a fish to blunder within range. This wouldn’t do. No, it needs something devious, something that will tempt fish within scoffing range. To this end evolution has equipped the turtle with a modified tongue that bears more than a passing resemblance to a juicy worm.

Here's the 'worm' - the bright pink tip of the turtle's tongue (Jesús Mendoza)

The deliciously pink ‘worm’ stands out against the dark maw like a beacon, a too-good-to-be-true snack, the ruse further enhanced by the turtle making the ‘worm’ wriggle by twitching its tongue. Sooner or later, a greedy, albeit dim fish, sees the ‘worm’ and swims over for a closer look. It edges closer and closer to the plump ‘invertebrate’, positively salivating at the mouth, and just when it’s about to close in for the kill, the impossibly patient turtle lunges and snaps its heavy jaws shut. Who knows the last thought that went through the hapless fish’s tiny brain, but I bet it never banked on ‘that worm’ being the business end of a 50kg devil turtle.

In the above video you can see the turtle wiggling its ‘worm’.

Turtle found lurking underwater.

Looking down and seeing that face staring up at you from under the water can make even the most enthused swimmer think twice about jumping into the water. Luckily I only found it after I had been swimming with friends for a few hours. It is an Alligator Snapping Turtle, named so because of its limbs and tail being eerily alligator-like. It is said that one full grown can break bones with its jaw. Yet people swim in Hamilton pool all the time, so I guess it is one of those creatures that will pretty much leave you alone if you pay it the same respect. I couldn’t help sticking my camera in its face though, which might have been a bit rude.
The water was a nice break from the heat, and although the natural pool was filled with small children it was quite a relaxing way to spend an afternoon. When going to Hamilton pool it is highly advised to bring the usual swimming necessities: swimsuit, towel, SUNSCREEN!, and hat. It is also a good idea to bring some sort of sarong or cover up, and lots of water and snacks. I am pretty sure that you can’t bring in glass containers and please leave your dogs at home. There is a nice walking/hiking trail for those want want to really work up a sweat before swimming. Wear closed toed shoes and medium height socks, snakes do exist in Texas and please stay on the trails. This is not only for your safety (poison ivy, oak, snakes and spiders) but nature’s too, as in many places where people may want to go tromping through off of the trail there are the homes for the aforementioned creatures.

Clouds getting more intense

That is enough of that though, I will stop my lecture.

We ended up having a really good time and played with the waterproof camera a bit more. About an hour and a half into the trip the sky started to appear more gray and I started wishing for rain. Well we definitely got it, even if it wasn’t NEAR enough to fill the lake back up. The sprinkles starting was enough to get the group ready to leave and I snapped that shot as we were walking back to the car. The Weather held out long enough for us to get into the car and I almost thought we weren’t going to get anything more than sprinkles. Low and behold it finally started raining on the drive back, which made for a very attentive passenger in the back seat (that would be me).

Sights like rain are a refreshing reminder that everything comes to an end when you are in the middle of a drought in Texas. Texas is a hot place to be in the summer, even when we are in those off years where we don’t have either a drought or a flood. When there are fewer places to swim though, Texas becomes a bit warmer. Especially when your favorite swimming holes are all dried up. It amazes me that in light of all this the most the city has done has suggested people alternate their watering depending on what number your house ends in. Odd water a specific two days a week and even on another two days. Other than that, commercial and multifamily cannot water after 10am or before 7pm on their designated days to water. They aren’t really pushing too much water conservation at all. I try to conserve water anyway I can, through shorter showers (I am a notorious long shower taker), more conscious dish washing, tooth brushing, clothes washing and plant watering. There are things that you can buy to put on your shower and sink to be able to turn off the water when you are suds-ing up, and low flow attachments for your shower, bath, sinks and toilets. There are also composting toilets (no smell!), water efficient washing machines for clothes and dishes. It depends on how much money you are and are not willing to spend, but there are solutions out there for everyone!

Neat effect from car window

I have a good friend, bless her heart, that is terrified of snakes. T-E-R-R-F-I-E-D. It’s so bad, in fact, that when she comes over, my fiance and I can’t even watch a show on television with snakes or any reptile for that matter. The point I’m making? People are really scared shitless of reptiles so I figured it would be a good subject. Although I like reptiles, I understand why people wouldn’t like them.

So, for those scaly, beady-eyed reptilians, a list…

FER-DE-LANCE (Bothrops asper)

This is one of those snakes that is so feared that it’s known in the snake world as the “ultimate pitviper”, meaning that in a family of other really poisonous serpents, this is one of the worst. It’s known to kill the most people in Central and South America, luckily for us, the only part of the world it roams. By the way, you have a light stomach, you should skip the next few pictures.

DO NOT LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED TWICE NOW

*fer-de-lance victim

SALTWATER CROCODILE (Crocodylus porosus)

For a reptile that lives over 50 or 60 years, this is one old bastard you do not want to be near. First off, it is ENORMOUS. Salties (the Australian term) can grow up to 23 feet long and weigh 3000 pounds. And don’t forget that evil grin filled with a bunch of gnarly teeth. Not only is it the largest and heaviest reptile on planet Earth, this bad boy and his family have been around so long, they used to eat with the dinosaurs. I’m glad these guys mostly confined to Australia, Papua New Guinea and parts of Southeast Asia. Watching them on television works just fine for me, thank you.

*this sign cracks me up

KOMODO DRAGON (Varanus komodoensis)

Thank heavens that the Komodo dragon only dwells on a few tiny islands around Indonesia because it is big, nasty and loves rotten meat. Most of the times, the dragon feeds on carrion (dead animals) but they’re known to prey on large mammals such as deer and boar with a stealth ambush, going right for the throat or underside of the animal. Far and away the biggest lizard in the word, it ranges being between 6-9 1/2 feet and up to 150 pounds. Their scariest attribute is the bacteria in their saliva that contains so many different kinds of deadly bacteria, including the one that causes sepsis, it’s best to just stay away from those small islands and stay away from Komodo dragons altogether.

It would be fun to have one of these in the backyard if you had the room. Imagine having company and inviting them to see your pet dragon. Of course, no one would ever believe you. But, once you took them out back, wouldn’t their reactions be great? I don’t know, just me thinking crazy, I guess.

*sometimes I think we’re sharing the planet with animals and not the other way around

ALLIGATOR SNAPPING TURTLE  (Macrochelys temminckii)

Does it surprise you more that there’s a dangerous turtle in the United States or the fact that it can possibly bite your hand off? Quite possibly the ugliest living thing the planet has to offer, the alligator snapping turtle makes its home in the southeastern U.S. in the Mississippi River and all of its surrounding bodies of water. These turtles may not be long but they can weigh up to 200 pounds and have a nasty bite to back it up. Though they’re not deadly, should you be wading in the swamps of the south and bump into one of these, you could very well lose a few toes.

I caught a glimpse of this guy on the news last night and again today on my way to work — he’s an alligator snapping turtle and the newest member of The New England Aquarium’s aquatic family. Seems normal enough, but it’s how he spent his first life that amazed me — Fluffy’s previous owner, who happened to be a drug dealer, used him to guard his stash. When did guns, dogs, and safes go out of style?