A serpent slithers fervently

on a rock,

attempting to escape the clutches of a rapacious eagle,

in vain,

whose loaned nest catches glimpses of merchant

and maiden

talking of times past and present and a time future.

Is on right now.  I love this movie, and.  A good reason to sit still.  It has been Quite The Year, Gentle Readers.   Lots of opportunities to learn things! Growth opportunities! Yes!  I’m POOPED!

Meanwhile, it is, indeed and still, a long road to the top if you want to rock and roll.   Maybe music is a good concept for what’s happening for all of us right now, too.  This is a period of transition and change and shift across the board, and it seems that nobody is going to be exempt from the adventure this time around.  In a way it’s like a song we’re singing and learning at the same time.  We’re humming along even though the lyrics may not be in our grasp just yet.  But a song it is, and songs and music are healing forces in this world, and the energy of that sound can carry us a long way if we let it.  Sometimes I think everything sings, and we can hear it if we take the time to listen.  Now is a good time.

I think that if one thing were to characterise love, it would be irrationality. If love were truly rational, it’d be utilitarian. One would not do things because one cared but only if it benefited the ‘doer’. Love means that we do things even without promise of reciprocity, we hope for and believe in the best because we love and care for the other person. We hold on even when we know there’s no hope.

We grieve for those we love even though we know that the expense of our tears and energy does nothing to bring our loved ones back to us.

Love never gives up, even on those who seem hopeless. That’s why it’s so amazingly irrational and irrationally amazing.

Actually, love seems to point towards a greater purpose in being rather than simply, well, being. If we were truly about survival and built and living for the sake of living, we wouldn’t love, we’d rationalise and exist but not love. For love is not about survival, for in loving, we give up little bits of ourselves and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, hardly a formula for the survival of the fittest. Love isn’t about survival, it’s about living; truly living.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, hat the well needed to be covered anyway and that it just wasn’t worth retrieving the donkey. So he invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quietened down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.

Since the Festive Fair (I would link you but they’ve taken the page down *sob*), I’ve really wanted to be able to afford all sorts of amazing specialised food!! Here are just some of the things I wish I could buy.

Munchy Seeds – their pumpkin and sunflower oil was simply divine!

Supreme Sausages – loved their tasters (and the guy selling them!) but just have not got space in the freezer for six packs of sausages. Cannot WAIT to have a place of my own.

Lymn Bank – cheese of gorgeousness! This one would be doable except I cannot justify their postage costs for something that I shouldn’t be eating as it is. Mmmmm mango cheese…

The Chocolate Cafe – not something that was at the Festive Fair, but something I came across today (a Facebook ad of all things) and joy of joys, there’s one in Manchester! One I will have to investigate as their chocolate pizzas look MMMMtasty.

The Festive Fair was amazing; all sorts of crafts, food, gifts and decorations. I went with mother dear and the sis, and it was just a lovely girly day! I really hope to go every year now. It must become a thing. I may drag Rob next year <3

Yes, Gentle Readers, I should really be attaching labels to all our recently made product.   But, somehow, today does not seem like a conducive day for such an endeavor.  I’ll give it a few minutes.  The interesting thing about working on your own stuff, of course, is that on the one hand there is no structure being imposed on things from elsewhere.  On the other, there are deadlines and things that must happen.  And establishing a format is an interesting thing.  

It is, of course, TOTALLY WAY MORE WORK now, being my own boss.  (What a concept!)  Yet all the time that got taken up before at the Eight Hour A Day Experience fell into a pre-made paradigm, I guess.  So it is both thrilling and chilling to create one’s own paradigm.   Saturday can be whatever you want it to be, in essence.   I think having an outside workspace to go to is a big help in a way, because then one is not constantly distracted by things like ant invasions or dirty dishes.  At the same time?  Staying in one’s jammies until one is good and ready to get out of them?  WONDERFUL.    Also, dealing with the ants is a good thing.

I guess what we’re working on here is creating an actual life in a way that makes sense to me, the person who’s living it.  And this is more complex than I might’ve imagined.  I never had this kind of “control” over how I spent my time before, and in a way it puts you up against your edge every day.  Because every day is different from the one before it even if it seems the same.  I get to set my pace and everything else.  At the same time, there is no “security”.  You don’t know what will happen on almost every level.  You keep working, you keep going, you keep thinking and feeling and planning, and that momentum is vitalizing on a level I didn’t know I inhabited before.  But it is still like walking a tightrope above a very dark and unknown space.  Of course it is precisely that space that funds our energies, but it takes time to understand that. 

Meanwhile, the labels are not doing themselves.  Still, it’s interesting.  There are all kinds of people with all kinds of opinions about how all this works, running a business or any creative process, and I think? The bottom line is that aside from the basic things that are universal, like keeping track of your finances and functionally concrete things like that, it is a very individual trajectory.  But it definitely involves developing a high degree of comfort with ambiguity and the unknown.  It is really another world, by which I continue to be astonished.  Which is, I guess, a good thing.

Luke 2:25-35
Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.” The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

It is instances such as the one above which reveal in very small parts the complexity and the perfectness of God’s working in our lives. When we read this chapter, we understand Jesus to be the not so common child that most parents are used to. What’s even more amazing is the amazement that Mary and Joseph show when things are revealed to them about Jesus starting with the Shepherds arriving in the manger looking for him, then Simeon’s blessing and prophecy, then the prophetess Anna prophesying about Jesus, and Jesus telling them he was at home in the temple when he was a young child left behind. This calling of parenting the son of God was not an easy one specially when his whole development was God ordained and so divine. As parents, they experienced Jesus in as much awe as we experience him as our Lord and Savior but only that the relationship for them was reversed wherein they were his human parents too.

As we live our lives, what God calls us to do is to live it with purpose, not an earthly, selfish, self-centered one focussing on I, me and myself. Jesus welcomes us as we are in our imperfectness to surrender ourselves to him, he then cleanses us through his shed blood on the cross spilled for us, transforms us to make us a new creation in him and fills us with the holy spirit to lead us in our new purpose filled lives. His expectation of us from that point onwards is to live seeking his direction and leading rather than doing things in our own wisdom. Simeon served God faithfully and received the blessing of holding the savior of the world in his hands before he passed away. What a great joy for him and what a great joy it is for us that when we submit ourselves to our maker, we will not just hold him for a moment but he will hold us for an eternity and never let go!

In His Loving Service,
Vineet

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Christmas Bokeh

OH. MY. GOD. He deserves a standing ovation.

Sometimes you have to think out of the box.

Today’s readings reminded me of one VERY important thing.

This is amazing.

What’s amazing? Everything. Really, a child’s smile, a blooming flower… even a friend. To me, though, it’s horses. Every time I throw my leg over one, I’m amazed. They speak with their bodies and listen with their hearts. If only we could be as noble. They are the most powerful, yet fragile, creatures alive.

But maybe I’m easily amazed. I’m sure many of you have already seen this video, but it fits in well with this post. So, here it is:

I pray that our eyes may be opened to the wonders of God’s creation… The mystery of life, and of redemption. Help us all to appreciate the smallest of miracles. A good rain, a first ride, green grass or the kiss of sunshine. Bless you all this Christmas Season.

Be Amazed!

There’s a common saying that is worth quoting: “The best things in life aren’t things.”  How true that is!  With the Christmas spirit ever so alive, especially since we had SNOW on Black Friday (Yay!), I have been thinking of gifts.

The “perfect” gift is always on my mind for my family and friends.  I have received gifts from others and thought, “How am I going to top that?”  Not that it has to be topped but for the fact that it holds such meaning to me, I want to do the same for others.

Last Christmas, I received one of the most amazing gifts which I practically take every place I go.  It just has such meaning and had so much thought and time put into it.  It truly is one of the best gifts.  That gift left me thinking, “What am I going to do for this person that would hold as much meaning?”

Of course, I got something that I knew this person wouldn’t have … and couldn’t wait until Christmas.  Matter of fact, I was so excited to give it that I almost told what it was on numerous occasions.  I just couldn’t wait.

Best Gift

Again, I am left with the question, “How am I going to top that?” with the gift just received today from a special friend.  It was a perfect match.  It was my favorite color.  Time went into monogramming and wrapping.  There was love attached.  (Insert teary eyes here)  But, the best gift wasn’t the gifts given, however loved they are, nor was it the meal with the tab being picked up by the friend (and that’s the reason for being early!!!!).  The best gift wasn’t the physical gift (although I will brag about them endlessly).  The incredible gift of time spent with a beautiful, dear friend just leaves the heart warm.  The gift of a friendship that is like no other; where it’s been a little over a year since meeting, but an instant kinship that seems to have always been and forever will be.  That friendship has already shown that no matter what trials take place, that friendship will be there with arms open wide … answering the heart’s cry of Just let someone pray for me … and judgement set aside, but concern and wisdom and love there for the taking.

Yes, truly the Christmas spirit is bubbling over like an opened pop bottle that has been shaken … just can’t contain it!  The best gift was the time set aside to be with a friend that displays what a true woman of God is, and is the “Friend [who] loves at all times Prov. 17:17″. 

So, what am I going to do for this friend next year???  So loved!  So loved!  Just have to find that “perfect” gift!

This ugly little slice of life is why I get so upset about the future. I worry far less about Rush and Co per se, who howl and bleat and make their dirty money poking the liberals with sharp sticks. That’s theater, for those of us with the brains to recognize it as such.

These sheeple, whose eyes glow with the zeal of true believers, who don’t have the insight to get that they look like fools (because they are fools) and are being interviewed for that reason alone, who will happily hitch their wagons to a stupid and dangerous faction that cares even less about them than I do, and who will hold hands and make a joyful noise unto the lord as the ship goes down — without even knowing why (without even knowing that they don’t know why) — herein lies the real danger.

O’Reilly is funny. Beck is hilarious. These people are not funny. These people vote, religiously. And there are lots and lots and lots of them. They’re armed, they’re stupid (and obedient), and they breed.

Here is the logo:

The new logo for Ilfracombe. Do you think it looks like a sperm?

Here is the reason behind it:
New brand says “Take another look at Ilfracombe and be surprised”
Representing Ilfracombe’s business community, Ron Ley, Director of Charterwell Homes said, “It is important that Ilfracombe looks at how it currently positions itself in the market and where it would like to position itself. Ilfracombe has not always been consistently presented as the quality destination it is and it is this lack of consistency and targeting of the lower-spend market that we aim to redress.”

A considerable amount of background work and collective thinking informed the process and development of the brand. Consultants Fresh Bread Marketing had a brainstorming session
in the summer with representatives from Ilfracombe’s tourism, retail and business
communities as well as Ilfracombe Town Council and North Devon Council. They were given the difficult task of encapsulating Ilfracombe’s fascinating and appealing attributes into one logo, strapline and brand that reflects and reinforces the distinctive essence of Ilfracombe.

Fresh Bread’s Tessa Martin said, “Ilfracombe is a fresh, intriguing place to visit with an
impressive landscape. It is steeped in and continues to offer a maritime experience and has a strong cultural theme with a fascinating Victorian heritage.” She continued, “The new
Ilfracombe logo, with its idiosyncratic ‘swirl’ above the ‘i’ indicates intrigue, mystery and
drama expressed with a spot of humour and fun too. It also reflects the twists and turns of
the landscape and can conjure up thoughts of the seaside, sea, an ice-cream, the harbour and fish.”

The logo incorporates the strapline “Curious Coastal Charm” – three words that evoke some of Ilfracombe’s best characteristics. Curious reflects the intriguing, edgy elements including
its arts and events; coastal communicates harbour, paths and dining and sports
opportunities; charm evokes Ilfracombe’s community spirit and individual appeal, fun for kids, couples and families.

Further devices to enhance the brand are included in the brand identity manual as well as a new image library that includes photographs specially commissioned and some submitted in Ilfracombe Town Council’s photograph competition. They have been selected to show fresh
angles and different perspectives compelling viewers to take a second look whilst always presenting Ilfracombe as a high quality contemporary seaside destination.

Access to the logos and images is through www.theilfracombecentre.co.uk under the
heading ‘About Ilfracombe’. The Brand Identity Manual explains how to get the most effective expression of the Ilfracombe brand and is free to use but the strict guidelines must be followed to ensure consistency, quality and continued brand recognition.

Brand guidelines should be found here:

http://www.theilfracombecentre.co.uk/media/logos/Ilfracombe-Brand-Identity-Guidelines.pdf

AMENDED: It appears as if the £40,000 wasn’t for the logo (originally read in the south devon version of the journal website) it was £5000 including the photographs. That sounds a lot more like it.

Unfortunately it appears as if it was miss-quoted from Cllr Philip Webb: http://www.thisissouthdevon.co.uk/news/Ilfracombe-ferries-new-identity/article-1529371-detail/article.html

However the logo is still poor and a huge missed opportunity for Ilfracombe. The main problem we have with it is that there is actually a really good idea in there which has been missed. The strapline ‘Curious Costal Charm’ is nice. Really nice actually, mostly because at last someone has said something marketable about Ilfracombe that is actually true. The problem is that the logo doesn’t seem to relate to this in any way. I’d have been really honest about the town in a marmite/VW sort of way. Shabby around the edges, faded glories, but a real heart and beautiful if look hard enough.

As stated on various blogs, we think the logo looks a lot like a sperm on the i (or is it just us?). In a town with a high rate of teenage pregnancy were not so sure it was that wise.

In Matthew 14, Jesus is hanging out preaching to a few thousand people. The disciples are getting pretty hungry and restless, urging Jesus to wrap it up so they could go eat. Jesus wants to know why the disciples aren’t just going to hang out and break bread with all the townspeople and the disciples calmly explain to Jesus that they simply don’t have enough food to feed a few thousand people (seriously? Why not?) nor do they have the money to do so.

Jesus knows just what to do. He takes some bread and some fish from a kid and hands it out to the disciples to pass out among the townspeople. He keeps on handing. And handing. And the disciples keep on passing. And turns out, this little bit of fish and bread feeds thousands of people. Pretty amazing, huh? It was His way of showing the disciples that if they trusted Him, He would provide.

I also find it pretty amazing that The Simple Lunch can feed a dozen plus people for under a dozen dollars. And we still have leftovers. This isn’t a one time fluke. This has happened every weekend for the past three weeks in a row.

I have seen first hand the really crazy stuff that can happen when you start trusting and believing. Now I just can’t wait to see what’s next.

Sometimes I just sit back and wonder if God, like in Jim Carrey’s Bruce Almighty, gets tired of all the prayers that He gets. He’s constantly getting inundated with requests from everyone. Surely some of them must clash with each other, like someone ask for rain and someone ask for sunshine. How would one decide?

Also, I wonder how He feels when we always leave things as they are, i.e. things like poverty, injustice, cruelty, and say, “God in all His mercy and power will work.” I wonder if He gets frustrated and yells at us, “THAT’S WHY I GAVE YOU ABILITIES AND OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP OTHERS, YOU NITWITS! I AIM TO WORK THROUGH YOU!” (Although I imagine that He’s probably more polite about it.)

Then again, I’m really just looking at God’s job and as a human, wondering how He has the patience and love to deal with it all. In that respect, I’m glad that I’m not God. Actually, in all respects I’m glad I’m not God. He’s doing and will continue to do an infinitely better job than I could ever imagine myself doing.

I’m not trying to be blasphemous or heretical, it’s just one of my flights of fancy.

Over the course of my first year and half of my second year in university, I did better than I have ever done in school. I have enjoyed what I study and have found myself applying myself to my work. It hasn’t all been easy, but it’s been enjoyable.

But this semester I have been swamped, more than before, more than IB and more than last year. I’ve had 7 essays and 4 presentations. I still have 4 exams to go. In the midst of it all, I realised something. God works in our weakness. When we feel weak and unsure what to do, He always provides. I look at my work this semester and know that it wasn’t my doing, but His alone. Only He could’ve helped me. I’ve been very self-sufficient but being stretched means that I can rely on Him for He is always there, perfecting  me even in the midst of the refining process of stress. In all things, He is my Rock to whom I cling.

Well two blogs in one night, I think I just wrote one earlier for the sake of it but now I actually have a reason.
Tonight I went to redhead beach, I haven’t been there in a long time, but it was beautiful. I love the beach at night, and how the waves just keep washing in and out, rolling and tumbling so calmly. There is particularily noticable lightning tonight as well, it was so bright when it struck that it lit up the whole shoreline for a quick moment, there was also someone down there twirling fire, I thought it was amazing. I have urges to traipse back there, set up a tent and go off to sleep, after going for a quick dip of course. It’s a pretty warm night too, surprisingly, but the wind is picking up and I am in an unkillable good mood.

My only wish tonight would be that someone would take me up to my favourite place on earth, so I could look down on this city with wonder.

I feel like I could write a million words about a million things and my heart speeds up at the thought, but there are no words to explain this mood. So very, very happy. Storms always have this weird way of getting me excited.

There I go, talking about the weather again.

Why is it that we pray specifically for something? Why do we give every detail as to “how” we want our prayer answered?

I have learned that I will never cease to be amazed by God. In that, why am I amazed when He answers those specifically detailed prayers? I know He can. I believe He will. So, how is it that He still leaves me standing amazed?

I did Teen Bible Quiz many years back and learned the book of John. These verses are forever in my memory and are the reason for this finite mind’s complete confusion as to why I still stand amazed: John 14:13 “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

I know it. I believe it. And as I said to a dear friend … it’s the trusting of it that is most difficult. That is where the amazement comes in to play. When we believe and trust … He will do it!

Thank God that I still stand amazed!!!

Evrely did good again last night, pretty much identical to the night before, so is a pattern emerging? I told her I am only doing this 4:30/5:00am feeding thing for another 10 days so she better live it up now, lol. But honestly I can’t really complain all that much, she is doing really well and we are proud of her. I am loving the fact that she protests less and less. Last night I don’t even think it lasted longer than 30 seconds and then blissful silence Thank you baby!

Good morning baby and hippo!

But the dog had another agenda… the dog- grrrrr. He couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to be upstairs or downstairs and as a result we played the back and forth game for about 2 hours, and of course those 2 hours were between 12:30am and 2:30am (thanks Cairo). Not too sure what his deal was, but he has us by the cajonies because he scratches at the adjoining door and it’s super loud and right next to Everly’s room. I shoot out of bed like a jack in the box and run to the door every time I hear it because I don’t want him to wake her up. I realize that I need to let Cairo “cry it out” too, but it’s at the risk of hearing the baby’s protesting too, so is it worth it? Is this what having two kids is like? You can never get a freaking break. All the more reason to just have one. One and a part time dog is enough, lol! Cairo please try to sort out your issues tonight. I just read a book about a young girl who is facinated by chemistry and poison… poor Cairo.

Cairo loves baby!

Yesterday I gave my sister a ride home and shared with her the wonderful process that is childbirth. I don’t think my sister will be having a baby any time soon – I told her that all those women who say the pain goes away once you see the baby are lying or already on drugs of some kind because the pain did not go away, infact it hangs around for weeks and weeks. What I did forget to tell her though was that it is all worth it. So Samantha- it is worth every crappy second. Everly was worth every second of every moment that sucked. And there were some cool things about being pregnant too. I can’t believe I am going to type this but there are moments when I actually miss feeling her little legs and arms moving around in my belly. You just feel so connected and you get to hog them and who cares if they don’t sleep, they are contained and you can’t hear them fuss, he he he.

Remember this; that was 6 months ago!

I know every mother must feel this way, but I just can’t get over how much Everly amazes me- ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I can just look at her little face and I get lost in the reality that B and I created her and I carried her in my tummy. She came from something the size of a pencil led, we all did! I was saying to B that facts like this are like time travel, you just can’t think of it or it blows your mind too much. Just seeing her make all these sounds, that are sounding like language sounds, and sitting and pulling her body around and flipping over and eating food, it’s just amazing that we all learn as much as we do the first year. It is seriously the roughest year of our life, I am certain.

Always learning.

On rolling over… some of you may remember me writing back in August that Everly was rolling over like a maniac and then she just stopped. Well I though it was my fault because in September I didn’t put her on the floor because I was scared that I had made her head flat. Once I found out that we didn’t make her head flat I started putting her on the the floor again and she wouldn’t roll, but she did start sitting up… so what I think is that when she was rolling before it was because she was uncoordinated and it just happened because her body got to a certain point and physics took her over. Now however, she is motivated to roll and is more intentionally moving her body; you can see it and it looks very different. She also has much more control so when she goes to tip, she rescues herself and doesn’t roll. Now this is a bit of a double edged sword; her core strength is increasing so she saves herself from rolling, but she kind of needs to roll- lol- babies! So maybe it was a litte my paranoid fault after all, maybe if I had let her be, the spontaneous rolling would have moved to intentional rolling more naturally… maybe not, but probably I will stick with maybe because that would mean it was something I did wrong and that’s what we mothers do, we blame ourselves… lol.

Floor play is back and in full effect, lol!

Something kind of amazing happened this afternoon.

We have a hummingbird feeder in the back yard and a full complement of hummies to go with it.  Often when we’re outside, if there is an Issue with the feeder, a hummingbird will come right up nose to nose and squeak a certain way.  OK, we’re trainable, we know what to do. So, today, we were inside, and heard this enormously loud chirp sound, such as they make when they’re doing mating displays or just goofing around.  The Partner responded to this call , opened the back door, and was greeted by the sight of the hummingbird right outside our kitchen door, zooming straight up and down, chirping- because the feeder needed to be filled.  He led the Partner straight to the feeder, made eye contact, and flew off to allow the needed repairs to be completed. ( This plunged Boozilla and Co. into total jealous rage of course which required mollification with popcorn.)  I’ve had hummingbird feeders for a long time, and I have never had a bird knock on my door when it was empty before.  Amazing.

And, so.  Like I said: Phillies.  Don’t you think?  Even taking A-rod into consideration.

Living as I do in the Berkshires, it is inevitable that I know a few card-carrying members of the woo-woo element. Some of the modalities I have even found valuable.

Chiropractic was terrific, until I was flooded, several consecutive times, with uncontrollable nausea and dizziness when he cracked my neck. That can’t be good for a person, and when he said, “Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry,” I got very worried. But I have to admit that I’d walk out of that office feeling taller and looser and a few years younger (until the vaso-vagal uproar which left me feeling like I’d just dodged a stroke). My neck is a wee bit close to my brain, however, which is non-negotiable.

Acupuncture is pure heaven, and puts me into a state that is so unnaturally relaxed that I am unable to function for the rest of the day. Better than drugs. I can’t say whether it unblocks energy or tweaks my meridians but I will say that once or twice, I think, I may have left my body. And unless you know me, you can’t begin to imagine how much I don’t believe in that sort of stuff. Nevertheless, I’m just saying…

However, to the healer types who use aroma, crystals, feathers, stones, chants, drums, or vibrations, or who use the words aura, angel, past lives, indigo, or chakras, or who suggest (and with a straight face, yet) that if I learn how to blink properly I could release the pent-up emotions from a dysfunctional childhood that now reside in that knot near my right shoulder blade — I say: Yeah, right. And Sam Harris’s Reason Project, where I found this video, says it much better.