We all scream for ice cream.

After the delicious Thai food, I wasn’t actually planning on having a Snack of the Afternoon. But the Vons grocery order arrived during our table read, and we returned to our kitchen to find that they have given us a free pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

The flavor? Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream. It didn’t take much (er, any) convincing to get me to try it. Anything that Stephen Colbert has to offer is generally delicious (no creepy double entendres intended, but now that I’ve drawn attention to it… ha).

I am not a big caramel fan (and I pronounce it ca-ra-mel, in case you’re wondering), but luckily my scoop was light on the caramel. I am a big fan of chocolate-covered waffle bits! How did they stay crisp? Science!

My two co-workers who also partook in the deliciousness (John & Matt!) were discussing the blend of toppings as if the ice cream were a fine wine. Ha.

Of course I liked this ice cream. To dislike this ice cream would be completely un-American. And also– a TV-show related snack? Best of all worlds!

This is America, and so can you.

Thanks, Vons! Thanks, Stephen Colbert. And especially… thank you, America.

Oh, and we’re still getting fruit leather. What a wonderful world!

xoxo…

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Election day is tomorrow, polling times and places (for Vermonters) can be found here.

If you preform your civic duty, and don’t mind waiting in a second election day line you are entitled to a free Ben and Jerry’s cone (at participating scoop shops nationwide).

Just don’t take all of the C2B3 (Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz). An apt election day flavor may be Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream (which isn’t bad BTW).

Also there appears to be a free 12oz coffee at Starbucks for voters.

As Dan still has not created the Ninja Varnish t-shirt, I will try to bring our little ninja pal to life in a different light. We shall call him Edamame. 

Edamame is by no means a standard ninja. At eight inches in height, his clan highly values him for being able to gracefully hide in potted plants and mailboxes. Each night he sets out to complete a different task, working as the clan’s top spy. None of the other clans have managed to find out their secret. Have they placed cameras in every location? Could traitors be lurking in every corner? How would they ever suspect an eight inch tall ninja? Every morning Edamame curls up in an oven mitt and sleeps until his next training session.  

What his teachers and pupils do not know, is that while he sleeps, Edamame dreams of ice cream. The flavors and toppings vary. He doesn’t care if the scoop is cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, black raspberry, or Americone Dream.  Why, you may wonder, does he dream of ice cream? Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to dream of beautiful ninja women, noodles, or nunchaku? Sadly for Edamame, his master has forbidden him to indulge in ice cream. 

Oftentimes, Edamame will dream of a conversation he had with his master:

Edamame: Sensei, will I one day be able to eat ice cream like my fellow ninjas?

Master: No, my brave Edamame. For you are lactose intolerant. With just one scoop, you may succumb to only the worst pain and reveal our secret. No one must ever know of your alliance with us. Ice cream could lead to your undoing. 

Edamame strives to be the best and struggles between his love of the frozen treat and his loyalty to the clan. Typically, Edamame sneaks into the clan’s kitchen in the afternoon and grabs bananas, chips, and raisins in the hopes of staving a vicious ice cream craving. To distract himself, he runs twice as many laps as his fellow ninjas and spends his spare time in the dojo, away from the freezer. Lately his dreams have woken him up abruptly. He sees a member of the other clan, grinning evilly over a pint of cookies and cream. He beckons to Edamame, seeming to understand his greatest weakness. Edamame is no longer able to resist and runs towards the ice cream. Not bothering to grab a spoon, he dives into the container and stuffs whatever has not yet melted into his mouth. Moments later his enemy laughs as Edamame is overcome with pain. The lid of the container closes above his head. Edamame wakes up fearing that his nightmare will come true in a matter of hours.

He reassures himself that none of his enemies know of his existence, let alone his love for frozen dairy. The dreams have become too much and he must put them to an end. The only solution is to travel the world until he finds a dessert worthy of his admiration. A dessert that is lactose free and worth dying for. 

But where would he begin?

To be continued…

Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert was recently quoted saying ice cream has a liberal agenda. Mr. Colbert, you are wrong. Ice cream has a fattening and fun agenda. Stop spewing conservative talking points at me.
Ben & Jerry would certainly disagree with Colbert’s comments. They answered his nightly conservative diatribes by bringing a conservative commentator into the ice cream industry and created their newest flavor named, “Americone Dream.”
The new flavor is creative, original and outstanding. Ben & Jerry’s is the gold standard of ice cream. Ben & Jerry’s is making a great business decision with this cultural and ice cream partnership. It’s using a well-known fake political commentator to take the dreadfulness out of politics by injecting an element of ice cream into it. It’s also using his popularity to sell an already popular ice cream flavor. That’s why Ben & Jerry’s is leading the industry.
On another note, this review was difficult for me to do because it made me remember how I became fat. Two years ago I was 361 pounds and 6 feet, 7 inches tall. I was disgusting looking. Ben & Jerry’s assisted my transformation to plumpness when I would go to the supermarket across from my apartment in Bethesda, MD and buy a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. I would consume it in one sitting. I’m now 230 pounds, and I feel great and look much slimmer. It’s been the most rewarding experience of my 23 years so far. If I can do it, anybody can do it.
Tonight’s sampling also served as motivation to never become fat again. Ice cream can be dangerous if you live an unhealthy life. Be careful.

Payment Methods: N/A, Store-bought

Toppings: N/A

Rating Breakdown:

Scientific Ice Cream Sample: Dish of Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream.

Price Paid For Sample: $3.99

Quality: Americone Dream is a busy flavor in terms of texture. It’s a mixed pattern of smooth and creamy vanilla base mixed with fudge covered waffle cone pieces and caramel sauce. This created smooth and rough texture that’s enjoyable.
&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is always rich and it makes them the gold standard of ice cream. The vanilla base is heavier than most brands. This quality comes from the lack of air Ben & Jerry’s puts in it’s ice cream. This richness also occurs in the sticky qualities of the caramel sauce laced throughout the sample.
&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Sweetness erupts from the caramel sauce and spills into the rest of the sample. Bitter sweetness is added by the fudge covered waffle cone pieces on the surface of the sample. I’ve never seen waffle cone pieces in any sample. Bravo to Ben & Jerry’s for the creative use of a cone.
Waffle cone pieces must have addictive drugs in them because my spoon kept involuntarily digging out more scoops for me to consume. The same goes for the caramel sauce, except it must have double the amount of the same addictive drugs. Both elements were surficial, but the waffle cone pieces were also internal. This expert production comes from the previously detailed production process I wrote about.
This flavor was not the best I’ve ever eaten, but close to it. I was craving more and had to leave the kitchen to write this review. It’s a great balance of mixings and ice cream base.

Numerical Ratings:
Quality: 42 out of 45 possible points

Final IceCreamology Total: 93 out of 100 possible points</P.

It’s confirmed. Ben & Jerry’s has unveiled it’s new “Americone Dream” flavor, named after Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert. This sounds like an original flavor and continues Ben & Jerry’s tradition of naming flavors after cultural phenomenon. More information about the flavor is available here and here.
On February 22, I posted information about this as a rumor and not fact. I checked the Web again and the Associated Press confirmed this story on February 14. I also checked the Ben & Jerry’s web site and found info about the new flavor. Obviously, I was behind the news cycle. I apologize for the confusion
I don’t know if this flavor is on sale yet, but I will check and sample it as soon as possible.