Running around in circles today chasing my own tail. I’m tired. I’m tired as in I’m absolutely bloody exhausted, was sitting on my Grandma’s radiator with my eyes almost shutting. Maybe my prediction of increased Amisulpride insomnia was wrong…or maybe I have just been too busy. If I keep busy I don’t have to think….

 Sick of criticism about the tube and how I “should” put it back in. No-one else is being fattened up like a Christmas turkey though so how do they know how it feels? My best friend did make a good point about the PEG though – is there any point in going through surgery for something I will refuse to use. Some food for thought there – pardon the pun – I would have to be pretty solid in my decision to use it which may mean accepting weight gain if it happens. I really want to maintain at as low a weight as possible but is it possible to do that without any fluctuation and would fluctuation lead to panic every time.

 Feel like my brain is fried…too many people throwing too much information at me from too many places and I can’t keep up. I’m tired…just give me a break would you?!

Anyway this has to be short (but certainly not sweet) tonight as I have a fundraiser to go to. One of the joys of being a Guider I guess. Hey there is more to me than this anorexia lark; I’m a Guider and a pretty damn proud one at that. Guiding rocks…okay Gi you are getting a little carried away now LOL

More soon