The music is so unexpected for this commercial, but it makes it so much funnier.

from A-Side Worldwide (Blog)

Continuing from the previous post on dotcom failures, below is the list of top 20 venture capital investment failures. Unsurprisingly, names such as Pets.com, Webvan and Kozmo.com appear in this list as well as among the biggest dotcom failures.

1. Amp’d Mobile: Amp’d Mobile takes the crown for money-burning, with $360 million that ended in bankruptcy. The company’s major problem was its customers’ ability to pay. While other mobile providers check for an ability to pay bills within 30 days, Amp’d let it go to 90 days and marketed to these risky customers. It has been reported that 80,000 of the company’s 175,000 customers were unable to pay their bills.

2. Procket: Networking company Procket was once one of the most highly valued telecom startups in the U.S. It had $272 million in venture-capital funding and a valuation of $1.55 billion but was ultimately sold to industry behemoth Cisco Systems Inc. for a disappointing $89 million.

3. Webvan: Webvan was a grocery-delivery business that served nine metropolitan areas. Once valued at $1.2 billion with plans to expand to 26 cities, the company went bankrupt in 2001. Despite millions in sales, the company’s demise was brought on by a money-burn that exceeded sales growth. Major purchases included $1 billion for warehouses, enterprise servers and more than 100 Aeron chairs. Additionally, it acquired HomeGrocer just a few months before going under. This fast expansion proved to be too much for Webvan. This company that once had about $800 million in venture capital ended up with $830 million in losses, with about $40 million on hand.

4. Caspian Networks: Caspian Networks, orgiginally founded as Packetcom Inc., had a number of ups and downs, including a washout in 2002; the company finally shut down in 2006. Caspian Networks fluctuated from more than $300 million in funding and 323 employees to less than 100 employees and closed doors.

5. Pets.com: This icon of the dot-com bubble died out in November of 2000, going from a listing in NASDAQ to liquidation in just nine short months. The site sold pet supplies and accessories online. Once backed with $50 million by Hummer Winblad Venture Partners, Bowman Capital, and Amazon.com Inc., Pets.com had promise and even bought out competitor Petstore.com. But in the end, its stock bottomed out at 19 cents per share. Remembered for its sock-puppet ads, the expense of its $1.2 million Super Bowl ad, as well as large infrastructure investments, proved to be too much. Pets.com’s sock puppet lives on as the icon of BarNone Inc.

6. Optiva: Optiva, a nanotech company that laminated flat-screen TV sets, had to shut down after it failed to continue to raise funding. It initially raised and ran through $41.5 million in venture capital. The problem was that it took too long to release its product, which was obsolete by the time it came to market.

7. Kozmo.com: Kozmo.com’s small-goods delivery service, while a recipient of around $250 million in investment, and popular with students and young professionals, ultimately met its end and liquidated in 2001. Its business model was criticized as unprofitable because it didn’t charge for deliveries. Kozmo.com’s demise is profiled in the documentary film e-Dreams.

8. CueCat: This much-mocked pen-sized bar-code scanner was designed to make finding information about ads easier. Instead, Digital Convergence Corp., CueCat’s creator, burned through $185 million from investors like The Coca-Cola Co. and General Electric Co. The device simply failed to catch on, and it was plagued with security problems.

9. DeNovis Inc.: DeNovis software once attempted to change the medical-claims world but ended up shutting down instead. It raised $125 million in venture capital and had 110 employees. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough, and this promising solution simply didn’t have the cash to hang on until the software could be launched.

10. PointCast Inc.: After tens of millions of dollars in venture capital and a $400 million buy offer, PointCast was finally sold for $7 million. It was originally touted as the next big thing, but failed to live up to its hype when its software and downloads irritated customers.

The remaining ten are here.

Loads of money poured in; results – catastrophic. With less capital available, startups and entrepreneurs must still carefully consider money sources. There is sometimes more headache and problems coming with money than one would anticipate or would like to have. As an unavoidable consequence, the current economic and financial crisis makes angel investors and venture capitalists more careful and vigilant in what they invest and pushes them to introduce tighter controls and additional transparency, having in mind the final objective of (an even more rapid) sell or IPO for a startup.

The list was compiled in 2007 and will certainly get new entrants by the end of this or the beginning of next year.

I wrote this blog at another location. Writing my Top Ten blog made me think of it. Hope you enjoy…

For those of you who know me very well, you know that I have certain online videos that I will pull up and watch on days when I am in a bad, sad or down kind of mood. I call them my happy spots. For those of you who do not know me well enough to know my happy spots, please watch the following video before continuing any further… Amp’d Mobile. That particular video has brought me happiness on many a bad day (giggling to myself even now, having watched the clip as I type this). As a heads up, this intro will play in to the story so just bear with me and I will eventually get you there.

Ok…also for those of you who know me very well, you know that I have a couple of commuter moods. Just to name a few:

The Angry Commuter (usually my morning mood brought on by the stupidity of others, ask Erin as she is the recipient of my texts begging for her to give me a Chinese star that I can throw at the human forms of stupidity)

The Reading Commuter (when I am able to tune out everything around me, no matter what, to enjoy a good story)

The Snoring Commuter (usually my evening commute after a long day)

The Reflective Commuter (staring out the window daydreaming and really the better of all my moods)

The Reflective Commuter is the commuting mood I was in on my trip home this evening.

Tonight I was catching the 8:08PM LIRR train home. This is the Babylon train with a connector at Jamaica for the Long Beach line (my line). All said and done I would be home no later (including walk from train to house) by 9:15PM. I sat on the train in the 3×2 section. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about please refer to this photo:

(Yes I took this photo with my phone camera with the sole intent of blogging about this whole event.) The section there in front of you where three chairs face two chairs is what I refer to as the 3×2 section. This story is so much funnier with visuals.

So…I was sitting on the “3″ side next to the window. And much like this photo there was no one else in the section other than me. I was reflective, looking out the window at the platform and people bustling about getting on the train and making their way home. And, if you must know, I was daydreaming about a boy and had a goofy smile on my face. Then in skips a young Asian girl. She was around 20-something. She sat down in the two-seater cattycorner to where I was sitting. She looked up, made eye contact and…just like the young Asian man in the Ampd Mobile commercial I just made you watch with his ‘busted’ expression – she looked at me as if I had just poked her and said…”Um HI!” She picked up her backpack and came to my section and PLOPPED down in the middle seat. Yes, the section was empty except for me and she sat in the seat RIGHT NEXT TO ME, arms touching, legs touching right next to me (I have issues with physical contact during my commute when not utterly necessary). I look at her kind of surprised and giggle to myself, I could not help it. She rambles quickly in her own language. I must have looked perplexed because she stopped, put a hand on my forearm, closes her eyes, looks down and shakes her head while giggling. She looks back up and in a VERY thick accent looks at me and says, “So sorry. I am excited. I have never been on train alone before. So happy to know you.” I am leaning back to give at least five inches of room between her face and my face.

Normally in this situation I go on strict defense and make room, leave or am obnoxious. I know this about myself, most of you know this about me. But this kid was just so f’ing happy it was infectious. No lie, it was. I found myself giggling and I believe that she thought I was happy to know her too. She looks at me, holds up one finger, turns to root through her bag. For one sinking moment the disparager in me made me think that this is where she stabs me with a needle and I wake up in a cheap hotel in a tub full of ice and missing kidney. But no, she turns back around with a cell phone and proceeds to call someone. Again, in her native tongue she speaks with a rapidity that is unparalleled in the English language. In the middle of the conversation she says, ‘No, no, no” then pats me on the arm with a smile. When she finishes the call she explains that she was speaking to her Mother who was afraid for her to travel by herself. BUT, (she says as she is smiling at me with a big doe-eyed expression) I told her I am sitting with my friend.

Wow, just like that I have a new friend. I have no idea her name. I have no idea where she is from. No background. Just happy to know you and bam I am your friend…

The two of us carry on a conversation of sorts. I am animated in hand gestures thinking that in sign language I can explain my words to her and finding that I am talking louder than normal. As if by talking louder and slower she will understand me…ha! I find that she is getting off at Merrick, she has a friend that will be waiting right there for her so she will not be lost. In the dark, she explains, she could get lost easily. Ok. When she finds that I will be leaving her at Jamaica she gets an expression that would make you think that I killed her puppy…

By this time the train is pretty full. A young woman has sat down on the other side of her. This woman has an iPod with a video rolling. My young Asian friend then stops the conversation. And, in an action I can only liken to a pigeon seeing a shiny object – she becomes fixated on the video screen. To the point that her entire left cheek is pressed against the seat and she almost looks like a girlfriend with her head resting on the shoulder of her significant other. This was her stance for the rest of my trip to Jamaica.

Just like that a fancy gadget has pulled my new friend away from me. Oh the drama of it all, the void I felt…lol No, really I was back to being reflective, looking out the window. Now not daydreaming but giggling over this young girl who just burst onto the train and into my bubble. As soon as Jamaica is announced and flashes across the little screen she turns to me and says, “You go here?” I said yes. And as I am getting up to leave she grabs me, hugs me as if I were family, plants a kiss on my cheek and says, “Happy to know you.”

As I stood up straight, still giggling a bit I looked at her and said, “Happy to know you too.” And, you know what? That was pure honesty from me. This complete stranger had jumped with both feet into my existence and without hesitation was happy about life and happy to know me.

So, to my new friend (who I never caught your name)…I hope that Merrick and your friend were found with ease. I hope that you brought that sunshine that is your personality to them and that your evening was filled with as much joy as you displayed in the fifteen minutes I came in contact with you.

And yeah, I am happy to know you too.

Which means I also spend a lot of time watching commercials.

Look, it’s been a slow week so far, okay? The debate wasn’t as great as anyone was hoping so that’s kind of a bust. Here in Miamiland, it’s been raining for like 4 days straight. I haven’t even had enough gas money to go have adventures, so I’m pretty much hunting for things to write about.

But in a boring, lifeless, rainy existence, there is one bright spot — watching TV commercials. This may sound lame, but man, I am an appreciator, and enjoyer of the good commercials. And right now, there are a few of them which make me happy on the inside. And let me tell you, that Humane Society one with Sarah McLachlan is NOT ONE OF THEM.

So in the spirit of sharing the AWESOME, here are a few of my favorite commercials. Enjoy!:

omg soooo one of my favorites ever.

I seriously cannot handle the cute.

This next one made me cry about 34523426 times before and during the Olympics, but it is still so amazing:

And finally, my FAVORITE COMMERCIAL OF THE ENTIRE YEAR:

HOO HAAAA, HOO HAAAA! I cannot handle it. I could watch that 2384239422389 times a day, and I pretty much did during the games and it never, ever got old. Hoooo man.

OK L8R SK8RS.

Well folk, the rumor of the day is that Helio is done. over. Hard to believe that they might suffer the same fate as unfortunate competitor, Amp’d Mobile.

Sources are saying that Virgin Mobile has been talking about taking over, though that isn’t positive yet. Though the companies have been in talks for a while now.

And in case you didnt know, things have been going horrible for helio recently…[more after break]

Lets go over what is fact.

For Helio, it hasn’t been a good year. In January, Helio’s CEO Sky Dayton “stepped down.”  Two months earlier, parent company Earthlink, which owned 50%, decided to give up their stake.

By February, they were losing money like crazy. They reported being way in the red, by $560,000,000 to be exact.

So who knows how things have been doing since then. News has still been about regarding their Ocean 2 device, lets see if it even makes it to the stores now. Now people are saying SK Telecom (Helio’s other parent company) wants to give them up too, even though they’ve been investing alot of money ever since Earthlink left.

So, anyone have any idea how they’ve been doing since Feb?

Again, nothing definite yet, all just rumor. Lets just wait and see what happens

Word on the street is Helio is having some problems.

This on the heels of Sprint’s massive writedown, and Amp’d Mobile self-destructing last summer.

I have news for any of you trying to get rich off of making Mobile Video content.

You aren’t going to.  Ever.

There’s money in ringtones, there’s money in providing instant services and info via SMS, but downloading anything over a megabyte is a going to be a loser until the cell phone industry radically revamps.

In the US especially, the networks are too slow, the cell phone compaies are reluctant to open up the “deck” to outside programs and open web standards.  They want to be top-down and own the entire user experience.

The companies want to charge for the content and then charge for the network usage ontop of that.  So a one to two minute clip is going to set you back $3-4.

Think about that price point when you can buy a TV episode from iTunes for $1.99.

The iPhone is changing the cellphone content business to some degree, and we’ll see how well Android does, but until then companies that are betting on peeps making mciropayment for content (i.e., Amp’d and Helio) are doomed to the shitpile of obsurity.

You as a producer should only be making non-exclusive deals with them as well as providing MP4s of your content that can be played on any device.  That way your ads will work wherever the content is viewed.

Be platform agnostic.

Remember how I posted that I was going to upload a new video? Well, I did. It isn’t much and you might even get bored, but it doesn’t matter because I got to watch two cell phones get destroyed by a hammer.

If you want to watch it…

PS: Watch Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street tonight!!!

The multimedia wireless carrier filed for bankruptcy protection Friday night after it was unable to raise funds to cover its existing obligations, which include millions owed to Verizon and Motorola.

The carrier has amassed almost 200,000 subscribers for its video entertainment/gaming enhanced wireless service, but can’t pay the over $100 million in obligations it has to its creditors.

This is the latest blow to wireless services that are trying to own content production, distribution and delivery…perhaps the industry will come to rely on the power of independent production and specialized aggregation and distribution, and the wireless carriers will focus on being carriers and aggregating customers…..

Just a thought….