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A prequel to the critically acclaimed series featuring Jerri Blank, a 46 year-old ex-junkie, ex-con who returns to high school in a bid to start her life.

GAZPACHOT: Strangers with candy…
Strangers with candy… I just cant stop looking at this photograph. What a long way weve come… By the way, I dont believe that Obamas deep bow in Japan was a sign of weakness. If the most powerful man in the world wants to buck …

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Get Access to Download Full Strangers with Candy Movie Online , Download Strangers with Candy Movie , Watch Strangers with Candy Online Free , Strangers with Candy Movie Trailers Here. Watch full Strangers with Candy online streaming . …

TGIF: Strangers with candy.
Ill take Calitexicans bike for dessert. with a side of yehuda moon. easy on the flirting, Im vegetarian. – to go, thanks. los flowerized. flowerized.

If youve never seen the Strangers With Candy movie, DO IT NOW!
If youve never seen the Strangers With Candy movie, DO IT NOW!

rvb_slash: Then things got complicated…
“Strangers with candy.” He ushered him out closing the door behind him. Tucker grabbed his arm. “Church?” “Yea?” He answered turning toward him. Suddenly Tucker stood on his toes and pressed his lips to Churchs, clutching at his …

On Hulu Now: Strangers With Candy » The Yale Herald
A transcript, from Season 1, Episode 4 of Strangers With Candy: Jellineck: Say, Jerri. What was that all about? Jerri: Mr. Noblet wants me to snitch on a friend. Jellineck: Snitching doesnt seem like you, Jerri. …

Sprites Keeper: SPOOKY Cycle: "Go ask that stranger for candy."
My girls go at my husbands office so I dont know if that counts as asking strangers for candy (they are strangers, but we know a lot about them). Otherwise, they only go to the 8 houses in our neighborhood and while those people are …

<em>Glee</em> Recap: Strangers with Candy… The Musical! | Best …
VH1 Best Week Ever Blog – Comedians Michelle Collins, Dan Hopper, and Tom Ganjamie scour the internet for the funniest online video, pop culture news, and celebrity photos.

If I drink nothing but water, will it help me lose weight?
I’m taking a creative writing course down at a university because I want to be an author one day. I am currently 17 years old and I go to a private catholic high school. I am also in 11th grade. Turns out that I’m the only boy in that class…The other 7 students are girls and the professor is as well. The class is open discussion and stuff, so we all talk to one another and we also take turns reviewing each others work. There’s these 2 girls who sit across from me in that class: One is a junior, like me, and the others a sophomore…They’re both pretty but I think the sophomore is especially cute. I myself, I guess I’m not too bad looking… I’ve had girls tell me I’m cute before…Honestly, I’m a really shy person…I’m not very outgoing or enthusiastic. When I’m supposed to do something in class I’m usually really sarcastic and funny about it and I can make a lot of the girls in class laugh. I honestly don’t know what exactly these girls think of me….. I’m not interested in hooking up with them or anything, but I don’t know if they like me (in a friendly way) or if they’re just teasing me for fun and think I’m a loser… Some stuff that’s happened includes… 1.) On Halloween, just for fun, we played this game where we went around in a circle and had to make up a continuation of a random story… Everyone in the class laughed when I said something… (usually it was really random or stupid..) The sophomore, when it was her turn, said I got eaten by a bunch of zombies and she was like all “haha, your dead..” (kind of like a 5 year old) I would sometimes say some random horror icon entered the story when it was my turn… The junior across from me ‘freaked out’ in like a funny way and was like “WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THESE MONSTERS??” (She didn’t really say it in an angry way..) 2.) All the girls in class were constantly taking candy from the table and the 2 girls across from me started arguing (again, in a goofing off way) that the other one was going to get fat from eating all the candy. The sophomore then was like “I think YOU should get all the candy” (cuz i hadn’t taken any..) Then the Junior was like SHOVE THAT ALL IN YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW (it was a lot of candy..) I just smiled and I was like “Maybe next time…” 3.) These two girls have given very long reviews of my work in class, first off saying that they liked it, and explaining how it interested them, but also saying very dramatic things like “It was beautiful!” and “That was awesome!!” (I don’t think those were really sarcastic remarks though, I think they honestly liked what I wrote…) 4.) Today, the sophomore asked me why I never talked and begged me to talk more. The two girls asked what my full name was, age, where I lived, what it was like there, and they also talked about what their homes and schools were like…The sophomore asked me if I had seen that new horror movie “The Fourth Kind”, which I hadn’t, and said that it was so scary that she slept with her parents that night. 5.) The two girls started calling me by my entire name (First, middle and last) and asked if I thought they were annoying. Later, when walking around in a book store, they spotted me and I acted like I was running away and then the junior caught up to me and gave me a hug. The two of them then started following me around the store like stalkers so I just acted like I didn’t notice them. The junior commented on how she was acting like she was in kindergarten again. When we were walking around, she would keep looking back at me, smiling. 6.) While walking through the city, some dude came up to me (speaking in rhymes) and said he could tell I liked hip-hop. I told him “No, actually…” and he asked if there was something wrong with my head and I was just like “I guess so…” The sophomore came up to me and asked what happened and said I should have negotiated to get the cd the guy was selling for free. I said I wasn’t supposed to take things from strangers…what if I listened to the cd and then got HIV or something??… I think she thought that was kind of funny. I’m not interested in having girlfriends or hooking up with these girls..They live in a different city than I do anyway. Honestly, I don’t really have much experience being around girls, so I don’t really know what to think.

Do you think these girls like me in any way, shape or form?
I’m taking a creative writing course down at a university because I want to be an author one day. I am currently 17 years old and I go to a private catholic high school. I am also in 11th grade. Turns out that I’m the only boy in that class…The other 7 students are girls and the professor is as well. The class is open discussion and stuff, so we all talk to one another and we also take turns reviewing each others work. There’s these 2 girls who sit across from me in that class: One is a junior, like me, and the others a sophomore…They’re both pretty but I think the sophomore is especially cute. I myself, I guess I’m not too bad looking… I’ve had girls tell me I’m cute before…Honestly, I’m a really shy person…I’m not very outgoing or enthusiastic. When I’m supposed to do something in class I’m usually really sarcastic and funny about it and I can make a lot of the girls in class laugh. I honestly don’t know what exactly these girls think of me….. I’m not interested in hooking up with them or anything, but I don’t know if they like me (in a friendly way) or if they’re just teasing me for fun and think I’m a loser… Some stuff that’s happened includes… 1.) On Halloween, just for fun, we played this game where we went around in a circle and had to make up a continuation of a random story… Everyone in the class laughed when I said something… (usually it was really random or stupid..) The sophomore, when it was her turn, said I got eaten by a bunch of zombies and she was like all “haha, your dead..” (kind of like a 5 year old) I would sometimes say some random horror icon entered the story when it was my turn… The junior across from me ‘freaked out’ in like a funny way and was like “WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THESE MONSTERS??” (She didn’t really say it in an angry way..) 2.) All the girls in class were constantly taking candy from the table and the 2 girls across from me started arguing (again, in a goofing off way) that the other one was going to get fat from eating all the candy. The sophomore then was like “I think YOU should get all the candy” (cuz i hadn’t taken any..) Then the Junior was like SHOVE THAT ALL IN YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW (it was a lot of candy..) I just smiled and I was like “Maybe next time…” 3.) These two girls have given very long reviews of my work in class, first off saying that they liked it, and explaining how it interested them, but also saying very dramatic things like “It was beautiful!” and “That was awesome!!” (I don’t think those were really sarcastic remarks though, I think they honestly liked what I wrote…) 4.) Today, the sophomore asked me why I never talked and begged me to talk more. The two girls asked what my full name was, age, where I lived, what it was like there, and they also talked about what their homes and schools were like…The sophomore asked me if I had seen that new horror movie “The Fourth Kind”, which I hadn’t, and said that it was so scary that she slept with her parents that night. 5.) The two girls started calling me by my entire name (First, middle and last) and asked if I thought they were annoying. Later, when walking around in a book store, they spotted me and I acted like I was running away and then the junior caught up to me and gave me a hug. The two of them then started following me around the store like stalkers so I just acted like I didn’t notice them. The junior commented on how she was acting like she was in kindergarten again. When we were walking around, she would keep looking back at me, smiling. 6.) While walking through the city, some dude came up to me (speaking in rhymes) and said he could tell I liked hip-hop. I told him “No, actually…” and he asked if there was something wrong with my head and I was just like “I guess so…” The sophomore came up to me and asked what happened and said I should have negotiated to get the cd the guy was selling for free. I said I wasn’t supposed to take things from strangers…what if I listened to the cd and then got HIV or something??… I think she thought that was kind of funny. I’m not interested in having girlfriends or hooking up with these girls..They live in a different city than I do anyway. Honestly, I don’t really have much experience being around girls, so I don’t really know what to think.

Do you think these girls like me in anyway, shape or form?
i just got a new bike, and everyone (including strangers) have stopped me to tell me how nice it looks. my goal now, is to make the bicycle less appealing (no eye candy), and i’ve heard you can “tape” your bike. how? google search got me nowhere.

How do you duct tape a bicycle?
1.If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? 2.If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween? 3.Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway. 4.If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP? 5.Why do we sing “Rock a bye baby” to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground? 6.Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck? 7.Why do they report power outages on TV?

How would you answer these random questions?

If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why trick or treat?
I live in NSW Oz and on the 31st i had alot of children and teenagers come to my house. I was concerned as some of these children were little and were un supervised. We spend so much time explaining stranger danger to our children and make sure they know not to go into a strangers house, is halloween diminishing our efforts of keeping our kids safe?? Candy is enticing to children and there are so many ways people could use it to manipulate the innocence of a child. I think its an American tradition and one that they hold importantly and i respect that, but should we encourage it in Australia? If u asked any child the history of Halloween would they be able to explain it? Am i just over reacting or does anyone else feel the same?Its just a thought of mine and i would be interested to hear your thoughts. I am 20years old and a child care worker i do not have children of my own but i do know easily a child can be manipulated!

Parents of Aussie kids and halloween. your opinions please voice yours!!?
I live in NSW Oz and on the 31st i had alot of children and teenagers come to my house. I was concerned as some of these children were little and were un supervised. We spend so much time explaining stranger danger to our children and make sure they know not to go into a strangers house, is halloween diminishing our efforts of keeping our kids safe?? Candy is enticing to children and there are so many ways people could use it to manipulate the innocence of a child. I think its an American tradition and one that they hold importantly and i respect that, but should we encourage it in Australia? If u asked any child the history of Halloween would they be able to explain it? Am i just over reacting or does anyone else feel the same?Its just a thought of mine and i would be interested to hear your thoughts. I am 20years old and a child care worker i do not have children of my own but i do know easily a child can be manipulated!

Halloween i Australia what are your views? please read all opinions encouraged!?
Who had the best candy? Who’s candy was hard and long? And who went trick or treating a second time?first answer floppedooooh hooflex u had lots of it LOL

How many strangers gave you candy last night?
Okay, i’ve never ever been trick-or-treating. Not even as a little kid. Its wrong! The number of times people say to their kids ‘Don’t take candy from strangers, you don’t know what can happen’ Or ‘Don’t talk to strangers’ And by letting them go trick or treating your encourging them to knock on strangers doors and get candy from them! What do you think?

Trick-or-treating is WRONG (read decription)?
I know what most Australians do, but do Americans parents really send their kids out at night knocking on strangers doors, asking for candy?? Isnt this a bit dangerous?

Strangers with Candy is a television series produced by Comedy Central. It first aired on April 7, 1999, and concluded its third and final season on October 2, 2000. Its timeslot was Sundays at 10 p.m. (ET). It was replaced by the Comedy Central show Strip Mall.

The series’ main character, Jerri Blank (played by Amy Sedaris), was a runaway returning to high school as a freshman at age 46 at the fictional Flatpoint High School in the town of Flatpoint.

Created and written by Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, and Mitch Rouse, the show was a spoof of the after school specials of the 1970s and 1980s and was also inspired, at least in part, by a 1970 public-service film, The Trip Back, that featured a reformed drug addict named Florrie Fisher (see “Origin” below). Sedaris, Colbert, Dinello, and Rouse were cast members of the short-lived Comedy Central series Exit 57; they, along with Greg Hollimon and many other stars of the series, were also alumni of Chicago’s Second City comedy troupe.

According to the show’s animated introduction, Jerri ran away from home and became “a boozer, a user, and a loser” after dropping out of high school as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she, in her words, “stole the TV.”

Every episode featured a theme or moral lesson, although the lessons were often amoral or warped; in an episode about eating disorders, Jerri learns that it’s OK to become an anorexic because it will get people to pay attention to you. When Jerri’s father passes away in the episode “The Goodbye Guy,” Jerri learns the valuable lesson, “You never really ‘lose’ your parents. Unless of course they die. Then they’re gone forever. And nothing will bring them back.” In another episode, Jerri learned that “violence really isn’t the only way to resolve a conflict, but it’s the only way to win it.”

Each episode ends with the cast and other featured actors from the episode dancing.

The series was first envisioned by Dinello and Colbert, both of whom had seen a Scared Straight!–type public-service film called The Trip Back, in which motivational speaker Florrie Fisher recalled her days as a New York prostitute to a group of high-school students. Seeing that Fisher strongly resembled their friend Amy Sedaris, they showed her a copy of the tape and, suitably impressed with Sedaris’s imitation of Fisher, began developing a series based around the idea of Fisher going back to high school herself. The three, along with Mitch Rouse, combined this concept with lampooning the after school specials they had all been subjected to in high school, along with the short-lived mid-1990s teen series My So-Called Life. Much of Jerri’s past is taken from anecdotes in The Trip Back, some of which were also included in Fisher’s autobiography, The Lonely Trip Back. Several lines of dialog in the series were taken verbatim from Fisher’s public-service film.

It is arguable that Jerri Blank has become even more famous than the woman that inspired her; while Strangers with Candy became a cult success, Florrie Fisher sank into obscurity in the 1980s. Today, much speculation among fans of the series revolves around finding out whatever happened to Fisher.

On February 7, 2006, movie company ThinkFilm announced that it had acquired the distribution rights to a feature film based on the series. The film, a prequel to the television show, was completed in 2004 and acquired by Warner Independent at Sundance in 2005, but release of the film was delayed due to legal clearance issues. Amy Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, and Paul Dinello reprised their roles for the film; several other characters were recast. In addition to acting, Colbert is a co-producer and Dinello is a director for the film. Worldwide Pants, a production company owned by comedian David Letterman, was also a producer. This is the company’s first feature film production. A teaser trailer for the film was released in April 2006 (see “External links”). The initial theater release was June 28, 2006, in the New York City area, followed by the remainder of the United States on July 7. A DVD of the film was released in November 2006. Amy Sedaris said of Jerri Blank that “she’s like a rash; you never know when she’s going to pop up.”

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! I AM BEYOND THANKFUL TO EACH OF YOU - THEBPLOT'S VALUED READERS AND SUPPORTERS. THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR INVESTING YOUR CHERISHED FREE TIME IN VISITING THE SITE AND READING THE COASTER. CHEERS!!!

 

TheBPlot.com presents an extended exclusive Q & A, in which photographer Joe Oppedisano reveals the new gay “look,” tips for making your own racy home movie and more…

Bears, Otters, Wolves, Cubs – it will be an adult version of Animal Planet, Saturday (Nov. 28) at RIDE, a party produced by Brad Hurtado, for the bear and leather communities the evening of the Santa Saturday benefit.

“Thanks to the thousands of men who pour into town for a daytime benefit, the weekend has become a really great time to play in our city” said Brad.  “This year, all those randy men will be at the Stone Pony after the benefit for a night of sweaty fun.”

‘NO FOOD FOR YOU’ SAYS RESTAURANT OWNER TO EMPLOYEES… ‘HONESTY SYSTEM’ ANTIQUE DEALER… FISHY DONATION TO JENKINSON’S AQUARIUM… & MORE GOSSIP IN “YOU SAY WHO” FROM THE GUY WHO CHOOSES ‘SIDES’ OVER TURKEY ON THANKSGIVING

I spoke with Joe Oppedisano, photographer – known for his iconic hyper-masculine images – who will shoot a performance art piece with super-sexy models for his next project in the middle of RIDE.

TBP:  I need to get this out of the way – you worked with one of my all-time favorite people, the gorgeous Amy Sedaris (“Sex in the City,” “Strangers With Candy”) [photo right] whose brother wrote about her hating to look glam in photos.  The photos you took are both glam and awkward.  Tell me everything.

Joe:  Amy and I have been friends and neighbors for 15 years.  She needed press shots to promote her book “I Like You…” so I begged her to let me make her glam.  She came out of the dressing room with an amazing dress and fake flies all over her face. 

She has a great sense of herself and knows what she wants.  That’s why she has the gay boys wrapped around her finger.

TBP:  Levi Johnston (the bane of Sarah Palin’s existence) just…err… famously did his photo shoot for Playgirl.  How would you have photographed him?

Joe:  (Laughing) I think he is heaven.  He came out of nowhere and now is everywhere.  I would like to photograph him on a set like the White House lawn surrounded by political powerhouses in farm-type clothes holding pitchforks and shovels – very American Gothic.   

TBP:  Who is a bigger inspiration to you, James Dean, Joan Crawford or Brad Hurtado? 

Joe:  Brad and Joan are neck and neck…they are both such big b&%$#@!.  

TBP:  Ha.  So, what can we expect with your performance art show during RIDE?

Joe:  Expect a lot honey…and I am going to give you more than that.  It’s going to be hot.  I am bringing at least four models.

One model, a Hothouse exclusive, Junior Stellano, grew up in Asbury Park.  He is the epitome of the Latin-Italian super hunk.  Naturally ripped.  Gorgeous as can be.

Another model who is coming is Chris Raucci [photo right].  He is 25 years old and the 2010 version of a twink and he loves bears.

TBP:  What actually is a bear in the gay world?  Is Brad Pitt with that new shaggy beard a bear?

Joe:  I think a bear is a gay man, over 40 years old, who is hyper-masculine and can’t be bothered spending 15 hours grooming or eating salads.  Brad Pitt is just annoying.    

TBP:  After this weekend, I am betting everyone will have had a lesson in “bear.”

TBP:  You are also a videographer.  Any advice for guys planning on sexting or making an adult film of their own later on in the evening?

Joe:  (laughs) It’s all about lighting.  It’s all about angles…good close ups.  Just have fun…and go for it.  I have done two adult films.

TBP:  Out community has gone through muscle guys, twinks, smooth guys and more.  What is the up-and-coming new “gay look”?

Joe:  I am sooo into the next generation right now…guys who are 25 and under.  There are so many beautiful boys.  The kid Chris I spoke about earlier has the new look – not a twink, green eyes, skinny ripped body – shredded with a great attitude.

Brad’s AsburyParkEvents has more RIDE info.

Friendly reminder:  Saturday (Nov. 28), from 7 to 10 pm, TheBPlot and The Coaster readers are invited to the launch party for the 2010 Asbury Park Firefighters calendar in the Third Avenue Pavilion.  Click here for your invitation.  Which month will your favorite firefighter represent? 

Richard@TheBPlot.com

THEBPLOT = THE AREA’S MOST-READ FEATURES SITE… AND GROWING EVERY WEEK

Directed By: David Gordon Green
Written By: David Gordon Green; Based On The Novel By: Stewart O’Nan
Cinematography By: Tim Orr

Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Olivia Thirlby, Amy Sedaris, Tom Noonan, Nicky Katt

I consider this a coming of age film less for centering around kids which most coming of age films caress at the center even though this film does have teenage characters this is more of a coming of age film for the adults who populate this story it is a sobering story that shows that most of these characters in there own way need to grow up and are in the process of doing it.

The main story of annie and Glen are like two characters who populate a country song once in love and as they grow older seperate but find they need each other because the days of dreams are coming to a end and reality is hitting hardcore. I think there story will ring true with a lot of audience members as it is a story that is happening more and more in different cultures around the world.

The film just like it’s snowy scenery has a emotional coldness and stillness that adds a hovering cloud of doom and desperation that is a cloud that never leaves this film.

The True Revelation here is Kate Beckinsale I have never really seen her in a dramatic part before and she goes with full flying colors she is excellent especially in the quiet emotional moments she has as much talent as she has beauty. Not that the rest of the cast is weak it is surprising to see Amy Sedaris who I have only seen in comedies in a dramatic part for once it’s a nice change. Sam Rockwell is good but I have come so accustomed to seeing him do great in any role he has taken it’s just a given he is going to be excellent why he is not touted in the same great acting circles as Ryan Gosling and Leonardo Dicaprio is puzzling maybe because he is rarely in studio films and constantly is working in the independent film arena.

David Gordon Green continues his style as the modern equivalent to Terrence Malick as chronicler of small town American life and exposes more of the reality of the situations that characters find themselves in without overdoing it as much as mainstream cinema will allow. I mean he doesn’t make Mumblecore movie about hipsters or go with ultra realism as Kelly Richert director of old joy but he definatley has a original voice all his own when it comes to cinema he is a gifted director and this film isn’t a disappointment not as good as his previous work but a good standard 

I say rent but prepared it’s not a feel good film which makes it all the more realistic people don’t pay for being wrong or bad life just goes on nothing comes out the way you expect it too.

GRADE:  B-

Amy Sedaris:

As part of a running joke during public appearances, she frequently alludes to her imaginary boyfriend, Ricky. During an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman (October 6, 2006), she claimed Ricky had “died”, (murdered) and she now lives with Ricky’s ghost.

From her book I like you: Hospitality Under the Influence:

We were in the bath tub and i felt a cyst on his good testicle. I insisted on taking him to the hospital even though he protested saying it was nothing. after a thorough exam it turned out he was right, it was nothing. on the way home he was murdered. I’m not allowed to talk about the case but I can say this, had i not forced him to go to the hospital he would still be alive today.

Amy Sedaris and I have something in common.  We both have/have had an imaginary boyfriend.  I once discussed an imaginary boyfriend in my other blog What To Do When.

His name was Torres.  He wasn’t technically imaginary because he was a real person.  He looks of greek decent probably about 5′11” dark black hair with a couple of grey spots and one time he ordered an Italian sub from mirror lake.  I proceeded to find out that the was gay by accidentally walking behind him on the sidewalk.  He sounded gay, he acted gay, he starred me straight in the eye as we crossed each others paths.  Let’s face it the shoe size was 11 and I was really excited that he fit.  Anyways, I once saw him walking down the street with another man.  So I immediately broke it off.  I didn’t have the time to deal with that sort of bullshit for a person I didn’t care to meet.

Which gives me two major points to tell you.  For a successful Imaginary Boyfriend don’t: Spend too much time actually seeing him and don’t actually meet him.

Spending too much time seeing him will cause you to actually have to acknowledge that he has a life outside of your world.  This will make you understand that you aren’t actually dating, so everything you have worked to achieve will be lost.

If you do meet him the same deterioration of ‘your world’ will occur and you may find out that he is not the person that you perceived him to be and you may not be compatible.

I know why I have this imaginary boyfriend, and they are some of the same reasons that I have desires for straight men and taken individuals.

1)Energy requirements  You don’t have to put energy into a relationship that isn’t real.  You only have to put in as much as you want.  The same is the same with straight men.  Most of the time they wouldn’t technically want me to put in as much energy as I do to fulfill my needs of contact and interaction.

2)No expectations- Imaginary boyfriends don’t expect anything from you unless you want them too.  You make the rules

3)Freedom-  I never have to ask if my fake boyfriend would mind me going out without them because we don’t have each others phone number.

4)Perfect-  You choose them, it doesn’t matter if they would choose you.  In reality this individual could be dumb as rocks, but to for you he can keep up intellectually, creatively, and emotionally.

things you don’t have to worry about include: drama, cheating, and insecurities

I also have a semi-real boyfriend, my roommate Brody.  Her name isn’t Brody but when I need a partner to fit into a world that puts value on one’s ability to procure a mate her name is Brody.  Brody works on several occasions.  ex: If I feel someone is about to set me up they ask if I’m seeing any one.  Depending on how well this person knows my life I can say I just met Brody recently or that I met him at Convocation three years ago.  When they ask how it is going I don’t have to worry about making up something because Brody and I to have contact frequently

I have my straight boyfriends as well.  Straight Boyfriends are synonymous with mirror lake boyfriends.  I like straight men first and foremost because I love masculine qualities.  And the fact that they can never care for me so things can’t get messy.  I change them often and they are synonymous with mirror lake boyfriends because this is one of the major places that I make contact with individuals of the heterosexual persuasion.  Here I can add drama if I need it by dumping one for another then lavishing attention on the new one.  Believe me, they notice and miss it and ask you back.

But all things said, it does get lonely.  Having an imaginary boyfriend requires you to have a washing machine and an active imagination.  The former for warming up some clean clothes before you fall asleep.  The later for creating situations in which your lover is required to wake up before you.

-EPF

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle!

Not really.

Even as her friends and contemporaries die around her, Too Good for Dirt Liz can’t seem to take the subtle hint.

Thus I am putting together an online petition and will be gathering signatures urging Ms. Taylor to do the right thing and die of natural causes immediately.

When I have gathered 3 or 4 signatures I will present the petition to her in the guise of some shitty award because thats all that actors and actresses care about.

Jennifer Aniston wouldn’t piss on her mother if she was on fire but she’d use babies for shoes and run down to the food court at the mall to collect the Best Actress….(Oh Sorry We Meant The Dog)…In A Dog Movie award.

Anyway, I’m sick of posting Liz Taylor pics so here’s this.

Amy Sedaris’s homemade cheese balls can be purchased at The Gourmet Garage in Greenwich Village.

I tried a Lil’ Smokey a few years back and it was yummy…..exactly the kind of yummy that Liz Taylor could choke to death on while her assistants silently look on while forming an unspoken pact.

I might suggest leaving a few along the baseboards of Liz’s mansion.

The American actress, author and comedienne, best known for playing the character Jerri Blank in Strangers with Candy, her numerous appearances on late night talk shows and the collaborations with her older brother, author and humorist David Sedaris. We are all looking for role models subconsciously, and this chick is the coolest one out there. Ladies and gentlemen, Amy Sedaris. Woman of the year.

The reason Amy Sedaris has been chosen woman of the year is because she’s cool, refreshing, beautiful and funny. It was down to Amy Sedaris and Tina Fey, who might’ve been the obvious choice, given the success of her hit television series 30Rock. Given the amount of media attention Tina Fey has gotten, the obvious choice was to go the other way and praise this goddess of laughter and holiness of funny faces. She’s a former member of Second City and Annoyance Theatre, her first major swoop into television was the 1995 sketch show, Exit 57, which also starred Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello. In 1999, Sedaris played Jerri Blank in the Comedy Central series Strangers with Candy, which ran for three seasons and would later inspire a full-length movie. Sedaris has made numerous guest appearances on a number of different TV programs, including Rescue Me, Monk, Wonder Showzen, Just Shoot Me!, Sex and the City, My Name Is Earl, The Closer, and Sesame Street. Sedaris also hosted the series Film Fanatic on Trio. Sedaris has appeared on many talk shows, including The Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night With Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. In 2008 Sedaris appearared on Chelsea Lately during which she gave host Chelsea Handler a presentation concerning vaginal hygiene with the aid of a plush vagina created by fashion designer Todd Oldham. She has written a guide to entertaining called I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, and she also writes a monthly column in The Believer.

Here’s a taste of our woman of the year, 2009.

]]> http://cometkowalski.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/movie-review-jennifer%e2%80%99s-body/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:14:02 +0000 cometkowalski http://cometkowalski.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/movie-review-jennifer%e2%80%99s-body/ http://mollycorinne.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/3877/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:20:58 +0000 Molly http://mollycorinne.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/3877/

As we head into holiday party season, the L.A. Times posed the same questions to Martha Stewart (crazy OCD lady) and Amy Sedaris (crazy hilarious lady). Enjoy their responses… Sedaris offers some helpful tips for Christmas decorating. The Charlie Brown Christmas album on a loop is a must. In fact, I’m listening to it now, and it’s only… November. xo, m

We all have different ideas of what makes a home welcoming and warm. What three words would you choose to describe the perfect ambience, and why?
Martha: Comfortable, functional and pretty. If you have those elements, you can live well and entertain graciously.
Amy: Lighting, rabbits and baking. Lighting sets the tone. It can project whatever feeling you are going for. A rabbit hopping about is joyful and amazing to watch. The smell of something baking in the oven will provide comfort.
Proper preparation is essential to being a good host and housekeeper.

If we were to peek in your pantry, what stock items would we see that we might not find in most kitchens? What are your special ingredients?
Martha: You would find imported sardines, 20 different kinds of salt and 13 varieties of olive oil, and a drawer full of many types of tea. You’ll also find four large shelves filled with cat and dog food.

Amy: I don’t have a pantry, and I can’t stock a lot of items because of the cockroach problem I have and the lack of space. I keep a lot in my refrigerator and freezer. I always have vodka, Nat Sherman party cigarettes, frozen beer mugs (people love frozen mugs for their beer), plenty of ice, and a cherry Popsicle so I can pre-stain my lips before applying lipstick. In my refrigerator I always have salted and unsalted butter, eggs, milk, Lillet, wine, Champagne, cherries, condiments and a variety of greens and vegetables for my rabbit. I also have pine nuts, a box of spaghetti, cheese, vitamins and eye gel. Also beer and non-alcoholic beer.

What piece of equipment or gadget have you found to be surprisingly useful?
Martha: In my new kitchen, I particularly love having under-counter freezer and refrigerator drawers. They keep things I reach for most often at my fingertips.

Amy: I find that keeping my beater and bowl in the freezer is a great idea because they whip cream faster. I am also a huge fan of the bean frencher — it’s a gadget that will French your beans in seconds. You place the whole green bean in one end, and it comes out shredded on the other side. I have used it since I was about 11.

The day of a dinner party has suddenly arrived, and we’re worried that we won’t have enough time to clean the whole house. Where do we start?
Martha: Get rid of clutter and do a thorough dusting and vacuuming in the entryway and rooms you’ll be using for the party. Make sure the powder room is pristine, and have a tidy place ready for your guests’ coats and bags. If you don’t get to other rooms, just close the doors — good guests shouldn’t snoop.
Amy: The bathroom.

We’re hosting the Thanksgiving family gathering, and children will be present. How can we make sure everyone has a good time?
Martha: For any party, invite only people you like, and who like each other. But you can always be strategic with assigned seats at the table to keep people happy and entertained. Whenever kids are in attendance, give them a place to play and their own table.

Amy: Take something in pill form. If you have a difficult time swallowing and you can’t stand needles, then offer it up to the children — 9 out of 10 will take it without asking what it is or was.

Aunt Muriel got a little too happy and spilled half a glass of Pinot on our new sofa. What to do?
Martha: Never give Aunt Muriel a glass of Pinot. Try a white instead.

Amy: Take a snapshot. It will lighten the moment and put everyone at ease. Then I would send her a copy of that snapshot and remind her of that for the rest of her life. Attach a caption like, “I’m still whining about your last visit.” Of course, after she leaves you can boil the entire sofa in boiling beets and turn the whole thing a dark shade of pink.

With December around the corner, how do you make the home feel special during the holiday season?
Martha: Decorate, decorate, decorate!

Amy: I put up my tabletop silver tree with felt ornaments. I twist lights and garland together and decorate the framing of my windows. I have little things I place around the apartment. And I put a Christmas stocking up for me, Dusty (my rabbit) and one that says Ricky, for my imaginary boyfriend. I always have the Charlie Brown Christmas CD on a loop.

What’s your secret weapon for complete domestic bliss?
Martha: A cage full of canaries.

Amy: The five-fingered plant.

I know what you’re thinking.

Wait, actually I don’t and actually I don’t care. Cause it’s probably something like “Hey Come on respect the woman” or something like that.

And this is all I have to say : Marge Simpson is in Playboy.

Ok? Get it? Your argument is moot. That means it’s invalid. And Amy Sedaris is fucking hot. Why? Cause she told us she is. That’s right, she didn’t pussy foot around it like these waify little chicks of Hollywood. She just went out an owned it.

Look let’s back track. You’re probably like “Wait, WTF does Marge Simpson appearing in the November issue of Playboy Magazine have to do with anything?!” Well let’s have a look:

Sure that’s great and all if you .. I don’t know, like yellow skin and don’t have access to real porn, or skinamax, or facebook.. or still have a myspace account…

But seriously it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. In fact the truth is, anyone with a curious eye an internet connection has probably stumbled upon Marge and the Other Simpsons doing much, much worse then posing naked. There’s tons upon tons of ‘Fan Friction’ (I’ll call it) penned from horny illustrator wanna be’s with ‘The Yellow Fever’ as it were. So what’s the big deal about Marge being in playboy?

“So in a way, you’d be stroking off to Matt Groening”

Well the truth is, this is Matt Groaning’s Marge – So in a way, you’d be stroking off to Matt Groening. Assuming that’s your interest in that particular magazine and said “article” within.

And Funny women or not, Marge is a culmination of almost entirely male brains. Hollywood, and the Simpsons is no excuse, is a Man’s world (more or less). So come on guys. If you really want to sensationalize a woman for her funny side, for being “real”, hell for being 3 dimensional – Amy Sedaris is the only option. (and yes Sarah Silverman is a damn good second chair.)

And I want you to realize, I’m not a super fan. I’m not going out of my way to listen to NPR just in hopes of hearing the awe inspiring quip’s and chaff’s of this acclaimed funny women.  But if she so happens to settle on in to an episode of Conan, I’ll now I’m in for a good ride. Which in a way, I wish was a favor I could return to the frolicking fairy of foolery.

Point being, as you settle in with your subscription to an 80 year old mans legacy (talking about Hugh Hefner here) and open up to the illustrated pictures of 55 year old man (that one’s Groening) just remember there are real women out there that are not only 3 Dimensional, they’re funny and intelligent.

- Anna Craft, nonfiction selector

Some of you probably already can figure out that I have a huge crush on David Letterman. So when news broke out that he admitted to fucking interns, well I just had to pleasure myself immediately.

David is one of my major style icons. From his sweats to his sneakers to his double-breasted suits, Letterman is the epitome of classic New York style. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s hilarious. Anyway, I support you Dave! We all make mistakes. Let’s see this extortionist’s head roll.

Here is one of my favourite episodes featuring another favourite New York icon of mine, Amy Sedaris:

i know blogs are blowin up with miss chenoweth, but i simply could not help myself. besides there are lots of fun, sexy pics of her- enough to go around.  she kind of reminds me of amy sedaris in a way.  tiny, loud mouth blondes. real good times. here’s a drier, gay friendly side of galinda on funny or die. (watch for rainbows to come out of her hands!)

she’s sparkly.

she can dress it down a little too.

i totally want to be in an rv with her.

god i wish i was 13G or 15G

Pugs make me smile.

I hear laughter is good for the soul (or maybe it’s ice cream and fried chicken). Here are some good sources for amusement. A disclaimer may be necessary: you may not find these things amusing. You may even find them sad (see Ads for Retirement Homes and Comb-overs). But if you can’t laugh at sea cows and men with woefully dreadful hair-dos that symbolize baldness-denial, then what can you laugh at? My ex-philosophy professor would be horrified at the logic I’ve just employed. Bear with me.

Mel Gibson with luscious locks and a weird accent + film rife with historical inaccuracies = amusement.

And lastly… anything involving Amy Sedaris (e.g., Strangers With Candy) or related to her (e.g., David Sedaris in small doses). I’m a huge fan of her book I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. The title sums up how I entertain. It may even describe how I live generally. I like my friends; I drink wine. I like telling my friends that I like them after having some wine.

1) Go get a 1 gallon paint pail, fill it with candy 2) Write FUCK IT BUCKET on it. When shit gets you down just say 'FUCK IT,' and eat some muthafuckin’ candy. Thanks, Amy.

Blind Date Conversational Suggestions
Don’t ask hard questions or questions that involve a lot of thinking, such as:
Does the sun make noise?
Do you tip a cobbler?
How do you teach hope?
When can we see each other again?

Don’t Assume Things
Where did you go to high school? (Maybe he didn’t.)
What does your father do? (Maybe he was murdered.)
Who did you vote for? (Don’t assume he’s allowed to.)
What do you think of my hospitality book? (Don’t assume he can read.)

Other Don’ts
Don’t cry.
Don’t tell everything about yourself; save it for your OBGYN.
Don’t dress too young.
Don’t answer the door in a wedding dress and veil; he might not think you’re joking.
Don’t be a jabber jaw. You learn more by listening than by talking. (However, if your date is a poor story-teller, it’s best to sit there silent.)

It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been fucking?

– Jennifer

Jennifer’s Body is the follow up to screenwriter Diablo Cody’s Oscar winning, Juno. After watching some of her work on television with The United States of Tara and this, I have a feeling that she was just a one trick pony.

Taking place in Devil’s Kettle (how fitting of a name?), the story mostly revolves around Needy (Amanda Seyfried) spiraling into madness after what happened to her classmates months prior.

She recounts the good times that she had with her boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons) and her best friend, Jennifer (Megan Fox). The girls are the unlikeliest of friends, she is nerdy girl and Jennifer’s the popular beautiful cheerleader. Everybody questions why they are hanging out together. She doesn’t see anything wrong with that.

One night when the girls are at bar, there is a fire. Lots of death and destruction. Needy is torn up about it, but Jennifer is cavalier about it. She goes into the back of the van of the band playing that night, Low Shoulder. Needy has a bizarre incident when Jennifer back at her house when she appears covered in blood and puking black sludge.

Needy notices a change in her friend. It turns out that Jennifer is not “high school evil”. She is possessed by soul sucking sex demon that is killing the boys in the school in order to keep up her exterior beauty. If she doesn’t feed, she would look like a hot ass mess.

There is a reason why Jennifer is turned into the demon. I will discuss that in the spoiler section of the review.

The reasons to see this movie is Amanda Seyfried. She is very good in the movie. Very convincing. There is also the signature Diablo Cody dialogue that saves the film from being total shit.

Megan Fox is not horrible in the movie. She was fine. I think she was better when she was in her bitchy dark humor mode. Everything else falls flat.

Judgment: This movie tries to be a 2000 version of Heathers. Fail.

Rating: ***

(SPOILER SECTION)

After Jennifer killed the Goth kid, Colin (Kyle Gallner), Jennifer appears in Needy’s bedroom. She explains what happened to her that night at the bar fire. Low Shoulder drives her to Devil’s Kettle waterfall to sacrifice her to the devil so they could be rich. They kill her.

That’s it? That’s reason why she is made into a horrible monster? Therefore, some douchebags with guy-liner could hit it big. What the fuck is that shit?

Lastly, there is the big showdown between Needy and Jennifer in Jennifer’s bedroom. When Needy is about to stab her in heart, she has to rip off the BFF heart locket beforehand. How cheesy is that?

Un film del 2009, regia di Damien Wayans, con Amy Sedaris / Marlon Wayans / David Alan Grier / Essence Atkins. Prodotto da Universal Pictures ()

Azione / Commedia

Meganì, un’ingenua ragazza dei sobborghi americani, si reca nella metropoli per realizzare il suo sogno: diventare una ballerina. L’incontro con un giovane di colore l’aiuterà a raggiungere la sua meta.

Titolo originale: Jennifer’s Body

Regia: Karyn Kusama

Cast: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, J. K. Simmons, Amy Sedaris, Chris Pratt, Juno Ruddell, Kyle Gallner, Carrie Genzel.

Distribuzione: 20th Century Fox, USA, 2009

Guarda il trailer

Jennifer (Megan Fox) è una bellissima cheerleader, mentre Needy (Amanda Seyfried) è una timida nerd. Le due sono amiche per la pelle sin dall’infanzia e sono inseparabili. Una sera le due si recano al concerto di un gruppo indipendente di cui Jennifer è una fan accanita. Inoltre vorrebbe conoscere il cantante del gruppo Nikolai (Adam Brody), per il quale ha una cotta. Tuttavia un terribile incendio distrugge il locale e provoca molte vittime. Jennifer e Needy si salvano e la cheerleader sconvolta accetta di salire sul furgone della band. Da quella notte non sarà più la stessa. Inoltre i ragazzi della scuola iniziano a morire in maniera misteriosa e terribile…

Diablo Cody (Premio Oscar per la sceneggiatura del meraviglioso Juno) scrive la sceneggiatura ed appare come produttrice esecutiva di questa  pellicola diretta da Karyn Kusama.
La storia vede l’amicizia tra due ragazze a prima vista opposte: Jennifer è bellissima, corteggiatissima e popolare, Needy è timida, riservata ed è fidanzata con Chip (Johnny Simmons). Nonostante le apparenze, le due sono amiche per la pelle sin da quando da bambine giocavano con le bambole. La loro amicizia e le loro vite cambiano inesorabilmente dopo l’incendio che distrugge il locale nel quale stavano assistendo al concerto dei Low Shoulder, una indie band guidata da Nikolai, per il quale Jennifer ha una cotta. Dopo l’incendio Jennifer va via con i membri della band e da quella notte Needy la vede e la sente diversa. Ma si tratta di uno scherzo della propria mente oppure Jennifer ha qualcosa di realmente sinistro e diabolico?

La trama sembra davvero interessante ma la bravissima Diablo Cody non riesce ad ottenere lo stesso effetto di Juno. Il film sulla carta si presenta come una dark comedy, ma in realtà si rivela  un teen horror abbastanza banalotto. A Megan Fox non occorre molta fatica per calarsi nei panni della ragazza più bella e più desiderata della scuola (praticamente l’unico ruolo che ha di fatto interpretato in tutte le sue varianti fino a questo momento). Più complesso e sfaccettato è il ruolo di Amanda Seyfried, la Sophie di Mamma mia! , sicuramente la più brava tra le due.  Da notare inoltre il ruolo da bad guy di Adam Brody, il timido e imbranato Seth Cohen della serie cult The O.C., che interpreta Nikolai, leader dei Low Shoulder, disposto a tutto pur di raggiungere il successo…

In definitiva una pellicola che regala qualche brivido, alcune scene splatter, una  buona colonna sonora (composta da pezzi di varie band indie rock e alternative, come White Lies, Florence + The Machine, Silversun Pickups, Black Kids, Panic! at the Disco, le Hole con la loro Violet,  (per la tracklist completa cliccate qui),  e da una bella performance di Amanda Seyfried. Ma se la sceneggiatura è firmata Diablo Cody questo risulta essere decisamente poco.

In definitiva: Da evitare.

Voto: 5

JENNIFER’S BODY (Estados Unidos 2.009, 102 Minutos, Comedia – Terror)
Dirección: Karyn Kusama.
Guión: Diablo Cody.
Reparto: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, J.K. Simmons, Amy Sedaris.
Fotografía: M. David Mullen.
Música: Theodore Shapiro, Stephen Barton.

Valoración: 6/10

Sinopsis: Jennifer es la chica más atractiva y popular del instituto. A pesar de su status su inseparable mejor amiga es Needy, una joven responsable e inteligente con la que mantiene una amistad desde la infancia. Una noche Jennifer desaparece y a su regreso algo ha cambiado en ella. Un demonio se ha adueñado de su cuerpo y ahora usa sus encantos para atraer a los chicos del instituto y devorarlos. La única que parece darse cuenta de lo que ocurre es Needy, pero tal vez no pueda hacer frente a su mejor amiga para acabar con el demonio que la posée.

Crítica: Hoy en día el mundo es meganfoxcéntrico (sobre todo tal vez la propia Megan Fox) de modo que hablemos de ella. Fox es aquella chica que posó en Transformers por obra y gracia de Michael Bay, que supo aprovechar la innegable belleza y espectacular físico de la chica para convertirla de la noche a la mañana en un fenómeno mundial. La atención mediática que acapara el cuerpo de Megan cada semana es sencillamente espectacular. Fox es una hipérbole de datos y fotografías, por lo que no es sorprendente que a pesar de su inexperiencia pronto recibiera su primer papel protagonista con Jennifer’s Body. Fox fue el arma de promoción masiva que el filme usó para colocarse en primer plano. Todo giraba alrededor del cuerpo de Megan y funcionaba. Hasta que esta, asesorada por no se sabe muy bien quien, empezó a hablar poniendo de moda ese dicho machistorro que afirma que la Fox está para ser vista, no oída. Fox demostraba ser, además de la portadora de un cuerpo del demonio, una chica un tanto confusa que mostraba sin rubor cuestionables opiniones sobre sus compañeros, así como ciertos indicios de una personalidad nada atractiva. Fox ya no mola. O ya no mola tanto. Y Jennifer’s Body se ha resentido. De no haber conocido tanto a Fox como ya todos la conocemos, se podría decir que su trabajo como la engreída, sexy, ególatra, desinhibida, chula, pasota y cargante Jennifer convence, pero uno se pregunta ya si este no es un papel escrito a la medida de la starlet. ¿Hace Megan Fox de sí misma en Jennifer’s Body, bicha aparte? En cualquier caso no se puede culpar a Fox del resultado de la película. Ella es tan sólo un vértice más en la geometría femenina que forma junto a Amanda Seyfried, Karyn Kusama y Diablo Cody. Las cuatro, juntas, diseñan este filme, a medio camino entre la comedia irreverente y el terror de casquería. Entre una Juno calentona y salidorra y la trilogía Evil Dead si todo ocurriera en el insitituto de un Twin Peaks contemporáneo. A pesar de que es Fox la que acapara carteles y promociones, es Seyfried la que carga con solvencia con el peso de la película, retratando con acierto a su empollona autorreivindicativa. Kusama se apunta a este delirio con una narración correcta y haciendo uso de todos los truquillos típicos del género. Cody, caso aparte, va por su cuenta. Todo un personaje, Cody se gusta en su diseño del texto a pesar de no saber muy bien cual es su objetivo, si demostrar su habilidad a la hora de confeccionar diálogos groseros, si desmontar el tópico del género convirtiendo a la animadora en carroñero y arpía o si crear una metáfora sobre los miedos y batallas del género femenino. Tal vez Fox sea esa amiga zorra que se tira a todo lo que se mueve y que amenaza con sus actos el honor del género femenino. Tal vez todo sea una broma tremenda de Cody-y-amigas cuyo significado aún no hemos captado (estúpidos, sucios, insensibles, malos machos, en plan Adam Brody). O tal vez Jennifer’s Body sea tan sólo una película entetenida, destinada al público adolescente que busca carne y chicha, que divierte pero no mata.

When a cheerleader is possessed by a demon, it’s up to her BFF to end the horror.

Directed by – Karyn Kusama

Written by – Diablo Cody

Starring – Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody, Sal Cortez, Ryan Levine, Juan Riedinger, Colin Askey, Chris Pratt, Juno Ruddell, Kyle Gallner, Josh Emerson, J.K. Simmons, Amy Sedaris, Cynthia Stevenson

Let me start by saying that I have not seen Juno and I know nothing about Diablo Cody. Let me also state that as a writer, I think Diablo Cody sucks. Plain and simple. The dialogue to this flick is annoying and full of little pop culture references that will only force the movie to trapped in its time period. Now even though the dialogue of whatevers, for reals, BFF, Hannah Montana jokes and obnoxious semi valley girl talk annoyed the hell out of me, I still enjoyed this movie.

The situation is interesting and there’s some good gore in there. Sure, we’ve seen a girl possessed before, but this one’s eating people. And although I can’t stand Megan Fox (I still find her line delivery in this one flat and a little whiny the whole time) she is nice to look at. Seriously, yet another example of a movie piggybacking on the success of its inhabitants. It’s Diablo Cody’s new movie, Megan Fox is in it! YAY, let me barf now.

Like, I can't believe you ruined my dress, ooohhh my god!

The movie saves itself by having great performances from Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons and the scene stealer Adam Brody. Their dialogue is much less annoying and Adam Brody steals the show in my opinion. Jennifer winds up being possessed because Adam Brodys character, Nikolai, wants to make a deal with the devil to make his band famous. The scene where we get to see the botched sacrifice (it doesn’t work because Jennifer isn’t the virgin she said she was) is hilarious. In fact, it was probably the one funny part of the movie which is another problem when I keep hearing everyone go on about how dark the comedy is in this one. Other than that scene, I wasn’t laughing. Cringing from Fox’s acting ability maybe, but not laughing.

Enough about what annoys me about the movie, seriously, I could go on and on about how much I hate Fox and Cody now, how about what works in it. I like how the movie is set up. We start at the end and flashback to how it all happened. Even with the most obvious question out of the way, I still liked the ride to get to the ending. And I’m telling you now, it’s all because of Amanda Seyfried. She does a great job in the movie and she’s one of the only reasons I could sit through it.

Don't all good concerts end in fireworks?

The other strong point of the film is some of the violence. Thank god this flick is rated R or it would be just another annoying teen horror flick. There’s some good gut spilling shots that deliver the gore I was hoping for. While I did enjoy the movie, it’s got too much working against it to really be great. The terrible dialogue, the fact that no matter how many times Jennifer’s friend sees her covered in blood she still wants to be her friend, the really stupid final scene and the endless pop culture references will probably make more than a few people really hate this flick. I don’t get the hype about Diablo Cody and judging by the horrible box office return on this movie, I’m thinking she might be headed the same way M. Night did. So full of promise and yet never delivering the goods again.

If you’re a fan of Megan Fox or Diablo Cody, you’ll probably like this one as well. As long as some gore doesn’t bring you down. I honestly think that most people won’t like this one. Well, horny teen boys will and isn’t DVD sales what it’s all about now!

Under the marquee – Will

Amanda Seyfried weathers flesh-eating demons, whiny indie bands and poof sleeves in "Jennifer's Body."

I knew it. I knew it. I knew that if I hoped and prayed and wished and waited a long, long time that the Bizarro Alternate World would take over and the unthinkable would happen. And in “Jennifer’s Body,” the unthinkable has become reality: The brunette’s dicing up male hearts like room-temperature butter, and her mousy blonde friend — who wears tortoise-shell glasses! – is nothing but a mopey, fraidy-cat sidekick.

(Sigh.)

It turns out this is not Bizzaro Alternate World so much as just the warped plot of the Diablo Cody-penned wittier-than-thou “Jennifer’s Body,” a pointless but way fun horror comedy that lampoons teen movie cliches with wicked glee. And since this is, you know, Diablo Cody, all the fun is wrapped up in dialogue so sharp and self-conciously urbane that you have shredded murder victims described as “lasagna with teeth” and an indie band frontman (Adam Brody) who yearns to ”reach out to fans in the shitty areas, too.”  

Yep, “Jennifer’s Body” is that kind of movie, another hip reinvention of the teen horror movie that ends up completely farfetched but also completely enjoyable. Part of that trashy fun stems from Megan Fox’s rather impressive performance as Jennifer Check, the resident hottie at Devil’s Kettle High School who spends her post-cheer practice time consuming male flesh. (She’s not killing people, you understand; she’s “killing boys.” There’s a difference.) There’s Brilliant Subversion No. 2 — a girl who’s not the victim, who is, in fact, making mincemeat out of boys? Love it. Standing petrified on the sidelines is Anita “Needy” Lesnicky (the insanely talented Amanda Seyfried), who suspects her more socially desirable B.F.F. — “sandbox love never dies” Needy offers up as reasoning for their unlikely friendship — is a killer. Too bad Needy can’t get her sensitive, Strokes haircut-sporting boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons) to believe her. But she has to try real hard because if not The Big Dance will become (he he) an “all-you-can-eat buffet.”

That’s what I love most about “Jennifer’s Body,” lines like that. These words bear no resemblance to the way people actually talk, though if they do it’s probably because everybody saw “Juno,” figured it was the new “Clueless” and started a flip pad of jargon. (Come to think of it, that isn’t a half-bad idea, starting a log of Diablo Cody-isms. She’s so hot these days.) There are other killers so funny it’s nearly impossible to laugh at them. Needy and Jennifer’s pet names for each other? Monastat and Vagisil. Jennifer is “actually evil, not high-school evil.” When Chip’s mom begs him to carry pepper spray to the dance, he responds: “I can take care of myself. I’ve been using the Bowflex.” And there’s a bit about Thai food and sex that might cause public consumption of pad Thai to go up or down depending.

This whimsical absurdism bleeds (pardon the pun) into much of “Jennifer’s Body,” which means there’s not much substance — unless you count the characters. Fox does more than what’s expected of her — she proved she had comedic chops in “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People,” but, really, who saw this coming? — and has a lot of fun with Jennifer. Her delivery’s just right, though it’s doubtful any man in attendance will notice. With the way Fox fills out her teeny heart hoodies, ushers should have buckets handy to catch the drool. But enough about Fox. Why use too many words for her when there’s a better, meatier part played by a better actress with more range? Given her own fair looks, it’s shocking to see Amanda Seyfried plain-Jane it up as Needy, but she looks every inch the meek friend. There’s a sadness to Needy that Seyfried’s not afraid to explore, and later a looming darkness that’s unnerving, not the least bit cutsey. This is why Seyfried will become a household name — she’s got such talent you can’t help but like her in anything.

Jennifer may be the body, see, but Needy’s the soul. And hey, someone’s got to do the real heavy lifting while Megan Fox makes sexy.

Grade: B-