Crank: High Voltage (2009)
★★ / ★★★★

At this point, I can enjoy just about any movie that Jason Statham stars in because even though most of them are mindless, they’re fun to watch. Statham is as charismatic as ever for his return as Chev Chelios, a hitman who gets caught up with gangsters who (literally) stole his heart. In order to survive, he must constantly charge his artificial heart which only lasts for about an hour. Half of the fun about this picture was the lead character trying to look for ways to charge his life force. The film is lewd, crude and downright crazy because even rubbing up against people could create enough electricity for him to survive. However, even I have to admit that I enjoyed this sequel less than the original for a few reasons. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the writers and directors, brought back certain characters from the original only to kill them off almost instantly. When a character did come back and survived, the character was not utilized in such a way that they could push the film forward. Therefore, there were many points in the film when it felt stuck even though the characters were kinetic in purpose and movement. I liked the campiness of the film but there were also times when it was too campy. In fact, there was a scene when it tried to summon Godzilla parodies. As adventurous as it was, it was dead on arrival for me because the violence that was being portrayed on screen was not funny, which was unlike the rest of the movie when everything else was cartoonish. In fact, that fighting sequence should have been quite epic, in my opinion, despite Johnny Vang (Art Hsu) being a simple-minded henchmen, because Statham’s character spent more than half of the film trying to chase him. Other actors that returned were Amy Smart as the girlfriend, Dwight Yoakam as Doc Miles, Efren Ramirez as Venus (who played Kaylo in the first), and Keone Young as Don Kim. I enjoyed this film’s enthusiasm to entertain but I ultimately have to give it a mediocre rating because it needed to have more focus instead of just aiming to be all over the place. Even though the first one was crazy, it tried to tell a story. On the other hand, “Crank: High Voltage” just felt like a series of random scenes pasted together which did not make sense as a whole.

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What?

Hitman Chev Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

Where?

At home.

With?

Myself.

Why?

I am 99% certain that when I saw this originally in the cinema, it was the best time I’ve had watching a new film. There were 2 groups of us and we lapped up every second of this absolutely insane movie,

Will it have the same impact second time around?

Worth It?

I enjoyed it still, it’s off the wall mental from start to finish, but it definitely lost something on second viewing.

I think the first viewing came with so many surprises and shocks with just how far the makers pushed the film into the realms of hyper-reality, one Godzilla inspired set piece in particular. On second viewing, I was expecting everything that was thrown at me and whilst still laughing my arse off, the jaw dropping aspect of the madness had died but then, that’s hardly the films fault.

In summary, still marvellous fun and a massive two fingers up to the movie studios who insist on neuturing our action heroes (’sup Die Hard 4.0) and stripping away every bit of testosterone to avoid any bit of offense. Crank: High Voltage goes out of its way to shock, offend, disgust and destroy, and it nails every one of them, and the world is a better place because of it.

7.5/10

Does it look like I got cunt written on my head? Who do you think you are fucking with?

– Chev Chelios

The high intensity action movie Crank was never my kind of movie. I am the big action anti-hero movie kind of guy. Directors Neveldine/Taylor has a reputation of having a buffed anti-hero kicking ass and taking names with jump cuts, thumping music and saturated lens. It feels like combination between Danny Boyle, Tony Scott and Renny Harlin. That may not end up as a good thing.

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is a contract killer for a Los Angles crime syndicate. He wakes up to find himself a groggy mess. There is a video playing of Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) drugging him with the “Beijing Cocktail” on Chev’s TV. Ricky’s motive for the injection is retribution for not killing Don Kim (Keone Young).

Little does Chev know is that the serum slows down his heart. He has one hour to live before the serum kills him. He calls Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakum). Doc informs Chev that he has to keep his heart pumping with adrenaline to stay alive by any means necessary from coke, tossing back Red Bulls, car chases, and nasal spray or fucking his brains out with his pothead girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart).

He wants to seek revenge on Ricky. He enlists the help of his gay friend, Kaylo (Efren Ramirez) to get Chev closer to getting Ricky. Chev realizes that his boss Carlito (Carlos Sanz) is conspiring with Ricky for Chev not finishing the job.

As Chev stretches his limited time, Doc Miles tells him that he needs to find epinephrine. He tears Los Angeles apart to get the drug. He overdoses on the epinephrine and he has to burn it off.

From the get go, the movie is beyond reality with the ridiculous premise. I understand the movie is supposed to be frenetic and fast paced. Sometimes it could be too much. I believe that Neveldine/Taylor knows that the movie is ridiculous and treat it as much. There was the WTF sequel Crank: High Voltage that came out earlier this year, it makes the ending falls flat. Sorta speak.

Judgment: This is a fun movie that should not be taken seriously.

Rating: ***1/2

Le Film: Une très grosse déception par rapport au premier.

Un gros navet ! S’il me fallait résumer mon film en trois mots, voilà ce que je dirais. Autant le premier opus avait été une bonne surprise avec une méthode originale aussi bien du cote scénario que mise en scène pour suivre une histoire des plus banales, autant ce second opus qui cherchait apparemment a faire plus dans tout, en fait beaucoup trop !

Les acteurs en dehors de Jason Statham plutôt crédible ne valent pas un clou, notamment « le furet » plus cliché que cliché. La musique fait musique électro de supermarché, mais ce n’est pas le pire !

Le pire est cette course a la démesuré qui tombe dans le mauvais gout et a chaque scène quand on pense avoir touché le fond, on se rend compte a celle d’après qu’il est possible de creuser encore plus profond afin de toucher le noyau de la terre !

A trois reprises dépité devant un tel spectacle j’ai failli arrêter le film. Bref un film Hyper violent, déviant sexuellement (et pourtant je ne pense pas être une chochotte a ce niveau) et même un film porno a plus de classe que ce navet que seuls les plus gros beaufs de chez beaufs pourront probablement apprécier.

Mis a part deux-trois bonnes idées (Chelios jeune, l’aspect multi-communautaire bien mis en avant de L.A.) ou « blagues » il n’y a absolument rien a sauver de ce film !

A ne pas acheter ni même a louer. Passez votre chemin et économisez 1h35 de votre vie et les sous qui vont de pair avec une location et un achat.

25/100

L’image: Presque parfait!

Que dire ? L’image est tellement proche de la perfection, qu’il n’y a pas grand chose à écrire ici : Les couleurs bien qu’ayant été volontairement travaillées, un peu délavées sont magnifiques, les détails ahurissants, notamment sur les gros plans et il vous sera ainsi possible de compter les poils de barbe de Jason Statham ou de « contempler » les pores de sa peau. Les contrastes sont parfaitement maitrisés avec des noirs qui ne déteignent pas, et une compression parfaite !

Tourné en HD avec des caméras presque grand public ce transfert ne déçoit pas et atteindrait la note maximale si un léger aliasing n’était pas présent sur quelques plans.

Au final et contrairement au film, un excellent transfert qui réjouira les plus exigeants.

98/100

Le Son: Une excellente piste son qui frise la perfection

Une Piste DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1 tonitruante, dès les séquences des boites de production, on sent quand va en prendre plein les oreilles.

La scène frontale est particulièrement bien travaillée avec des voix relativement bien intelligibles, une stéréo très ouverte et une dynamique très puissante.

Le caisson de basse n’est pas en reste, ce qui est normal dans un tel film et les explosions viendront a coup sur secouer votre parquet.

La scène arrière est très bien exploitée que ce soit par la musique, lors des scènes de fusillades qui donneront la possibilité aux balles de virevolter dans votre salon, ainsi que de nombreux petits effets lors des scènes d’action.

On a cependant l’impression qu’un léger effort supplémentaire aurait pu être fait au niveau de l’ambiance (le film se passant quasi entièrement dans les rues) qui n’est pas parfaitement retranscrite.

Mais au final pas de quoi trop pinailler tant cette bande son tonitruante suis le credo du film : toujours plus de violence et de folie.

95/100

Genre: Action
Durée: 1h36
Zone: A
Doublage: VFQ
Langues: Anglais DTS-HD M A 7.1 / Français Dolby Digital 5.1
Sous-titres: Anglais / Francais…

1. Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner stirred up some New Moon buzz south of the border when they posed at a photo call at the Four Seasons Hotel in Mexico City.

2. Marc Jacobs and Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga teamed up with Marc Jacobs—who dressed her in an ensemble from his latest collection—to make sure she made a memorable appearance at the 13th annual Ace Awards, held at New York City’s Cipriani restaurant. Gaga picked up the Stylemaker Award at the fashion fete, hosted by the Accessories Council.

3. Molly Sims and Diane Von Furstenberg

Also at the ACE Awards, Molly Sims had the honor of presenting Diane Von Furstenberg with the Accessory Visionary Award. Other winners included Tom’s Shoes founder Blake Mycoskie, Bottega Veneta’s Tomas Maier and InStyle’s own Hal Rubenstein, who was presented with the Marylou Luther Award for Fashion Journalism.

4. Rashida Jones and Olivia Wilde

Rashida Jones and Olivia Wilde kicked their heels up in celebration of the Jimmy Choo for H&M collection during a party at a private residence in Los Angeles. The buzzed-about line hits stores November 14th.

5. Kate Bosworth and Diane von Furstenberg

Kate Bosworth showed her appreciation for Diane von Furstenberg at the opening of the designer’s “Journey of a Dress” exhibition at Moscow’s Manezh Exhibition Hall. The revelers in Russia for the event later moved to the We Are Family nightclub for an after-party.

6. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

The day after hanging with the boys at the GQ Gentlemen’s Ball, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher enjoyed a more low-key evening during a party for the new beauty book, All You’ve Ever Wanted, hosted by Vanity Fair and L’Oreal at New York City’s Monkey Bar.

7. Kerry Washington and Georgina Chapman

Kerry Washington helped honor Marchesa’s Georgina Chapman for her creative contributions to the fashion industry at the Young Patrons of Lincoln Center’s fall masquerade gala, held at Alice Tulley Hall in New York City. Despite the chill in the air, both ladies wore mini Marchesa party dresses and Georgina Chapman for Garrard and Marchesa clutches. After the ceremony, Chapman continued the celebration at the Interview magazine after-party, held at the Library on Hudson.

8. Julianne Moore, Francisco Costa, Kylie Minogue

Calvin Klein creative director Francisco Costa enjoyed the company of tablemates Julianne Moore and Kylie Minogue at the Rob Pruitt Presents: The First Annual Art Awards, held at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum in New York Cty.

9. Marc Forster and Zoe Saldana

Film director Marc Forster and Zoe Saldana were thinking green during a dinner hosted by Audi Diesel. Jaime Pressly, Radha Mitchell and New Moon star Elizabeth Reaser were also among the crowd at the car maker’s celebration, held at the Sunset Tower Hotel in West Hollywood.

10. Patrick Robinson and Stella McCartney

Stella McCartney met up with Gap Creative Director Patrick Robinson and his son Wyeth in N.Y.C. to celebrate the launch of her new kids collection for the brand. “It has a mix of the playful and practical,” McCartney said of the eclectic lineup. “There are pieces that are classic and sort of timeless, mixed with more playful and a little bit cooler pieces.” Stella McCartney for GapKids and babyGap will be available in stores starting November 2nd.

11. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Demi Moore (in Prabal Gurung and Cartier diamonds) and Ashton Kutcher (in Calvin Klein) were color coordinated when they attended GQ magazine’s Gentlemen’s Ball at New York City’s Edison Ballroom.

12. Adrian Grenier and Mark Wahlberg

Also at the Gentlemen’s Ball, Adrian Grenier and Mark Wahlberg—who just announced that he and wife Rhea Durham are expecting their fourth child—celebrated their participation in this year’s GQ Gentlemen’s Fund. While Grenier will raise funds for Oceana, Wahlberg will drum up support for his own Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation.

13. Sheryl Crow, Jessica Capshaw and Amy Smart

Sheryl Crow and Jessica Capshaw (in Diane von Furstenberg) showed their motherly love for a greener, cleaner, safer home at the Healthy Child Healthy World gala in Beverly Hills. The duo helped honor this year’s “Champions of Children’s Health,” which includes InStyle’s own Cyd Wilson, who is the founding Director of Development of the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

Aki Quang (from IS)

]]> http://theideagirlsays.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/just-friends-ryan-reynolds-amy-smart-chris-klein-anna-farris-chris-marquette-movie-review/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:37:55 +0000 ideagirlconsulting http://theideagirlsays.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/just-friends-ryan-reynolds-amy-smart-chris-klein-anna-farris-chris-marquette-movie-review/

What a great movie!
Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Chris Klein, Chris Marquette and Anna Farris. I love Anna Farris and I really enjoyed Ryan Reynolds as the comedian.

I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in a long time.

Poor Ryan Reynolds, the guy tries so hard to impress a girl and everything keeps going wrong.

Chris Marquette did a hilarious job playing the bratty brother who constantly fights with Ryan.

In reality throughout the movie, he’s such a jerk and your kind of happy when the bad things happen to him.

But then you want him to wake up and smell the coffee and learn to be himself again.

The guy she really likes in the first place.

I’d have to say awesome directing, editing and dialog in the movie. The producer should make more funny comedies like this one, it was perfect!

just friends 2005 anna farris chris marquette

just_friends_movie-dvd-ryan_reynolds-amy_smart-chris_klein1

Just-Friends_Poster02

Amy smart

Both ladies stepped out Sunday night at the Environmental Media Awards in LA. Let us know Moguls, who has the hotter FRESH?

Vote after the jump…..

This one gets 2 out of 5 

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

Je sors d’un coma ou je m’y dirige, gaiement.

Tout bascule sans jamais tomber.

Les pupilles dilatées, plus rien à télécharger, à zapper, à éteindre.

À bout de souffle, à bout de nerf, en bout de route, je cherche encore plus d’asphyxie, plus de haine, plus de bitume, de vertige en solde, d’adrénaline standard.

J’ai dans mes poings ce que ma tête n’a pas su dire avant le coup de pression et dans ma gorge ce que mon âme n’a pas su taire durant tous ces nuits de cauchemars.

La vitesse tue tout, même la mort, donc la violence ne peut-être que gratuite.

Alors ce qui sépare un coup de pied au cul bien placé d’un traumatisme crânien hasardeux, c’est mon appréciation du jour du mot « modération » sur ces bouteilles vendues en toute légalité par les pouvoirs publics chez mon receleur de mort le plus proche.

Il y a ceux qui brutalisent pour faire mal, pour gagner et ceux qui le font naturellement sans rien attendre en échange.

Gardez mon acte de naissance, rendez-vous utile et passez-moi les pansements, le mercurochrome et une bonne épitaphe en lettres capitales.

Tu ne peux en aucun cas jouer à la vie impunément et demander un remboursement de quoi que ce soit dans la même partie.

La sécurité, cela n’a jamais été une garantie durable, mais c’est une promesse éphémère. Perds le contrôle avant qu’on ne t’arrête sur le bas côté de la route.

Comme les phares d’une voiture devant les yeux d’un enfant à la sortie de l’école, je guette ma proie.

Au volant de ce qu’il me reste de temps à brûler, j’hésite entre le défibrillateur et la panne moteur, un verre de vitamine C et l’injection létale.

Mais lorsque le paysage ralentit lamentablement jusqu’au point mort, je scrute l’apathie de ma montre et la distance qui m’éloigne de ma prochaine victime, puis j’attends le prochain mur, le prochain platane, en face, en frontal, droit dans les yeux.

Il se peut qu’il me fasse un aveu ou que je fasse une overdose, avant le choc, le dernier.

…

J’ai pris la vie par les deux bouts sans jamais en voir la fin, ni en comprendre le début.

Et la même chanson psychédélique, assourdissante martèle son refrain à mes tempes, puis mes oreilles saignent de ce que mes tympans ne peuvent admettre.

Le monde fabrique ses révolutions en tournant sur lui-même. Je fais pareil, mais en mieux, je ne mens à personne et nul ne mourra en mon nom !

La mâchoire en kit et le cœur réduit en poudre, j’attends que reprennent les hostilités entre gens bien.

J’ai plus bandé par omission que je n’ai aimé par conviction, mais au moins je suis honnête ou en phase terminale.

Je vous laisse nettoyer en partant, je médite sur ce qui serait le mieux pour mon avenir entre un gâchis et une gâchette. Je change de vie comme je change de lit.

Prenez le temps durant mon oraison funèbre, après cette page de publicité, je n’existerais déjà plus.

Je ne cherche pas à savoir. Une dépendance à un excès de lois pour les cons engendrera plus de crime légitime, plus de sang vengeur, plus d’honneur retrouvé, plus de répression homologuée, plus de liberté usurpée, plus de plus, mais en vain.

Un jour végétarien, l’autre cannibale, jamais satisfaits.

Je n’ai aucune explication à confesser en réalité, aucune excuse à fournir en vérité, pas de leçons à donner à la majorité ni de conseil mensonger pour te border.

Dis toi que je suis plus vrai que Dieu.

Depuis que le meurtre est à portée de main, on a crée des règles afin de prendre plus de plaisir à les enfreindre. Les X commandements ne sont qu’une arnaque à l’assurance.

On voudrait que la mémoire facultative et la sagesse populaire servent autant de bâton que de carotte. Mais je ne sens plus les coups et j’ai perdu l’appétit.

Je fais l’impasse sur l’Histoire, mes toilettes ne se souviennent déjà pas ce que j’ai bu ce matin, merci de m’épargner les détails sur la gueule de bois de ce soir.

J’ai plus pris mon pied que mon temps. Et pour cause, j’ai préféré crever plutôt que d’être en retard.

Game Over

I quite enjoyed ‘Blair Witch Project’ and ‘Altered’ so I was really looking forward to checking out Sánchez’s newest project, ‘Seventh Moon’. Add an intriguing story and a likeable cast and you have a recipe for success. Unfortunatley, Sánchez left some ingredients out of the mix and left my meal tasting a bit on the bland side.

According to an ancient Chinese myth on the full moon of the seventh lunar month the gates of hell open and the dead are freed to roam among the living. While honeymooning in China, a young couple takes part in a sacred event that honors these spirits. As night falls, their tour guide abandons them in a desolate field. Now what they thought was a joke is becoming far too real as they fight to survive the night of the SEVENTH MOON.

Interesting story right? The brief little snapshots of the couple at the event worked well in setting up the action. They’re having a good time, drinking, laughing, shopping, but inspire weary and annoyed glances from the locals, who take the event, and their rituals seriously. Yul and Melissa have come to China to celebrate their honeymoon, and to introduce Melissa to Yul’s family. Liquored up, the couple meet up with their guide, who is to drive them to Yul’s family home. It doesn’t take Yul long to pass out in the back seat with his head in Melissa’s lap. Melissa and their guide engage in brief conversations as she drifts in and out. The guide parks the car claiming he is lost, and walks off, leaving the two in the car.

This is where the action picks up. It’s night, and they are in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. There are only a few scattered rundown homes with boarded up windows. Surrounding them, is tall growth and trees, a perfect place for scary things to hide. The film is big on atmosphere and does create a nice backdrop to the story. There are a few decent moments of suspense, and a couple nicely executed scenes, but it felt a bit too familiar. The creatures were a little uninspired and the “hunt” didn’t offer anything new. Effects are minimal and there is no gore. If that’s your game, then I definitely wouldn’t bother with this one. It had it’s moments but when it was over it left me thinking, “Meh, who cares?” ‘Seventh Moon’ is okay so I’m just going to pass it. I doubt it will make the earth move under anyone’s feet though.

Dungeon Rating: 2.5/5

Directed By: Eduardo Sánchez

Starring: Tim Chiou, Amy Smart, Dennis Chan

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) överlevde av någon oförklarlig anledning fallet på flera hundra meter i den första Crank-filmen, men då han vaknar upp inser han att någon tagit hans hjärta och ersatt det med en rätt klen batteridriven apparat med begränsad livslängd. När han nu måste ut på Los Angeles gator för att återta sitt hjärta gäller det att på olika sätt elektrifiera sig själv för att hålla pumpen igång och som vanligt har han en hel rad gäng efter sig som inget hellre vill än se honom död.

Vi återser många av karaktärer från den första filmen (i form av tvillingbroder i ett fall där han faktiskt trillade av pinnen i föregångaren) och de speedade klippen och bisarra collagetekniken känns också den igen. Man leker ohämmat med olika populärkulturella referenser och det är ömsom roligt och ömsom äckligt. I ettan var han tvungen skaffa sig adrenalinkickar för att överleva och för att få en ny twist på det hela är det här el som gäller, vilket skapar en del humoristiska situationer även om det många gånger känns för mycket som en kopia.

Betyg: 3

Every man reading this (I suppose that’s just about every man in North America) and every woman who has seen the 2005 RomCom (short for romantic comedy) “Just Friends” knows what I’m talking about when I say that I hate “the friend zone”.  Every male teen has thought to himself at least once, Damn, I’m slipping into her friend zone. This is a scary realization, too.  The friend zone is similar to volcanoes in that if you get too close to it, you’re done; if you’re good friends with a cute girl, hoping that she will soon see you as something more, make damn sure she doesn’t want you to go shopping with her, feed her sensitive side or ask for your opinion on anyone else’s clothing choices.  These are all red flags that you, my friend, are slipping into the friend zone.

As evidenced by his man boobs, this dude is all up in the friend zone.

I’d like to ask everyone to observe a moment of silence as we drink in the amazing beauty that is Amy Smart (right).

I suppose that’s done, now.  So, being in the friend zone must be the worst thing ever, right?  Actually, although being in the friend zone is awful there is one girl-related issue that is worse, far worse.  The horrid situation that is worse than being Ryan Reynolds (that’s a sentence beginning I never thought I’d write) is when you have a girlfriend and realize that in order to keep her happy, you have to take on the role of girlfriend.

The reason this is so awful is two-fold.  First, it should be pretty clear that we are not equipped for this job.  I have my sensitive side just like every other guy, but that just means that I cry at the end of Rocky III and Rudy.  We aren’t going to fall apart watching The Notebook or when the family hamster dies.  Second, it hurts.  It just hurts.  We want to protect you from the big, bad things in the world and we want to have you to ourselves on occasion.  One thing we don’t want is to feel like your happiness hinges upon our willingness to sacrifice our Y-chromosome — we love that chromosome; it’s our favorite one, always has been.

So girls, it is your responsibility to your man and to your relationship to bring out his masculine side.  Sure, you can try to coax out some sensitivity and compassion from time to time, that’s healthy.  But it’s healthy in the way that lemon grass shots are healthy (one a week or month) not in the way that carbohydrates are healthy (hundreds a day).  Assuming our roles in the relationship is one of the most important features of a lasting relationship.

Raymond and Deborah. A couple that will last through the TV seasons and reruns.

Corey Haim...box office GOLD

R

Jason Statham, Amy Smart

Chevy: There is one I never got to, on account of I could never find him.  The one who calls himself, “The Ferret”.
Venus: El Huron…
Chevy: You know him?
Venus: No, it means the ferret in Spanish.
Chevy: Right…I knew that.

Somehow Chevy Chelios (Statham) survived his ordeal at the end of the first Crank movie, but now his “super heart” has been removed and replaced with an artificial heart that will only be kept beating if he constantly provides it with electricity.  Can he find those who are out to kill him before his heart ultimately gives out?  And does anybody care…?

There’s a well known saying about curiosity and what troubles it can lead to, and my experience with this movie once again proved that saying as valid.  I was curious as to how a sequel could possibly be made after Mr. Chelios fell thousands of feet from a helicopter onto a car.  How could he possibly survive that, I wondered.  Well…they don’t really explain how he survived that, so I’m left to assume that he’s just one of the first signs of the genetic mutations seen in the X-Men movies.  Seems like the only reasonable explanation to me.

As for the movie, I hated it.  Whatever trace amounts of charm and wit the first one had seem to have been removed along with Chevy’s heart.  We’re left with a movie that surpasses the original in its violence, tastelessness, offensiveness, and exploitation.  At some point I just stopped watching and started staring at the wall or reading internet articles while I waited for the movie to end.  For a relatively short movie, it seemed awfully long.

This movie is just disgusting and useless and I suggest nobody bothers seeing it.  And that’s about all I have to say about that…

Don’t watch another Crank movie. (yes, they left it open for another sequel)

10 – 6.8 because it’s disgusting and offensive and stupid and not funny or interesting = 3.2

I am pretty sure that I am beginning to enjoy Jason Statham movies.  Today “Crank: High Voltage”  arrived in the mail from Netflix and it was not the worst.

“Crank: High Voltage” follows Chev Chelios through another action packed, DIY’d rollercoaster ride.  The lines aren’t all that smart, and the plot is laughable at best.  But the stunts that Statham performs, and the quick-cut film style make the movie entertaining.

I sorta felt like I was watching the first “Crank”, however the sequel is slower and a little more put together.  It’s funny, but the characters actually needed this sequel to fully develop.  I felt like I finally understood how the organized crime rings worked.  I also was less annoyed with Statham because I was used to his behavior.

I am sure that the budget was much bigger for this film.  There was even a scene that reminded me of the big monster battle scenes in Power Rangers.

As always, Statham defied biology and lived through an entire movie of life threatening events.  But that’s the point right? We aren’t supposed to believe that anything he does is actually possible, we are simply supposed to enjoy the show.

kinda ironic that my last name is "Smart", huh?

R

Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Jose Pablo Cantillo

Doc: Any pain in your chest?
Chev: Not really.  I’m feeling pretty good right now.
Doc: What are you doing?
Chev: Driving through a mall…cops are chasing me.

A professional hitman, Chev Chelios (Statham), wakes up to discover that he’s been given a poison that is only slowed down by shots of adrenaline.  In order to keep himself alive long enough to hunt down the people that did this, he must constantly keep on the move and stimulated.

I’m going to assume that the tag line for this movie was “It’s like Speed…on a person!”  That’s pretty much what this movie is, though it’s not quite as interesting, yet much more ridiculous.  It manages to be fairly entertaining, though there’s a high number of “oh come on” moments.  Plus, the editing is so amazingly hyperkinetic, I felt like I needed to watch a Michael Bay movie afterward just to wind down.

Oh, and don’t get me started about the ending.  I notice there’s a sequel to this…I’m not sure I even want to know how they pull that off.

Jason Statham plays his role well, which I guess is why he plays the same role in almost every movie.  He adds nice touches of humor to what is really just a mindless, video game of a movie.  Amy Smart is cute, but just there to add to some of the silly male fantasy scenes.

It’s short, loud, silly, really violent, somewhat funny, and mostly implausible.  If that all sounds appealing to you, by all means, watch away.

It’s really REALLY easy to avoid the California police.

10 – 1.5 for the headache inducing editing – 2 because overall it’s just kind of stupid and implausible – 7 because the very ending is just dumb = 5.8

Ok I was in Tanaris, minding my own business. Grinding on some Rogues, and Assassins, because as a Paladin it’s my job they be brought to justice.

Then out of nowhere a Death Knight rides by. He stops. He watches me for a few seconds. I find it a little…wierd. So I bow. Then he goes, “Do you want a run through ZF” .. I reply, “Sure thing”   So were running through ZF, he asks me some questions, how do I like the pally class…so on and so forth. Then he asks the question….”Are you really a girl?”  Well were half way through ZF, and damn it I want the XP. So I go….”Yes.” He goes, “Cool”  We chat a little more. Then he goes, “How did you get the heirloom gear, you got a main.?”  I go, “No, this is my BF account, he gave me this pally to play around with, and he got me the gear.”  Then his reply to that, “Oh”

We finish the run in almost complete silence after that, after it was done I thanked him. We parted ways. 

So I lied a bit to get what I want, I feel dirty like a little whore, then again it felt kind of good.

The wierdest thing is sometimes when I’m grinding,  dudes stop by and look at me grinding. Just looking then finally leave. Kind of disconcerting, what’s going on in their heads. Oh well.

The pic for this post is Amy Smart, she is definately a female. She was in movies such as Road Trip, and Crash. I most definately think she is HOT!

Just Friends – Solo amici è un film commedia romantica del 2005, diretto da Roger Kumble e con Ryan Reynolds.

In Italia è uscito nelle sale cinematografiche l’8 maggio 2009.

Leggi altre notizie su: | Commedia | Romantica | Roger Kumble | Ryan Reynolds,Amy Smart

There Is Evil........On The Other Side

Ok, podem começar por dizer, “Ah e tal  isso é um remake de um filme asiático”, ao que eu respondo, a ideia é, mas Alexandre Aja teve a gentileza de conseguir dar uma volta ao argumento para o tornar original. Poderei parecer um pouco tendecioso ao afirmar que provavelmente estamos perante um dos melhores filmes de 2008, tanto a nível de terror como de thriller. É de louvar o regresso ao grande ecrã e logo pela porta grande de um actor do calibre de Kiefer Sutherland. Após o seu merecido reconhecimento através da série 24 (da qual estamos a preparar um post), Kiefer surpreende a todos os níveis. Ben Carson é um ex-detective da polícia, que após um acidente, em que fere mortalmente um policia, é afastado e decide começar a trabalhar como segurança para uma empresa que guarda um autêntico palácio no meio da Big Apple. Carson, pouco a pouco, começa a perceber que existe qualquer coisa de estranho nos espelhos dessa mesma casa. Decidido a descobrir o que realmente ali se passa, cria-se um atmosfera de cortar à faca. Acreditem, quando vos digo que tem um dos finais mais surpreendentes que já vi. De Alezandre Aja, com Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Cameron Boyce, Erica Gluck, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, John Shrapnel, Jason Flemyng, Tim Ahern, Julian Glover, Josh Cole, Ezra Buzzington, Aida Doina, Ioana Abur e Darren Kent.

Oh não. É um contrato para trabalhar para o Hallmark Channel.

Rapte a filha do projeccionista para arranjar uma cópia pirata