“I hate you!”

Of course you do Anakin! Though you never see it in the movie, Obi-Wan getting it on with Padme in her apartment and in her ship is definitely heavily implied. Anakin’s irrational emotions concerning flesh and blood people who will do what they want leads Obi-wan to cut off Anakin’s arms and legs and leave him to fry and die, like so much KFC.

You see there is a light side and dark side of the force, yin and yang. When you give into the light side, you become old, too passive, effeminate, complacent, a relic of the past. When you give into the dark side, you become much worst: a dick rider, clone shark biter, a traitor, violent, pussy whipped, totally blinded by false promises of power that will never materialize. The force needs balance in order for peace to reign throughout the galaxy. A middle path is necessary. Sure you can have relationships with people without becoming too possessive of those people when they inevitably move on with their life. And you can whup someone’s ass if they have failed to negotiate even when they have been offered what they want. If they continue to press the issue, you have the right to fuck them up. It’s the law!

The Sith cannot be tolerated though because innocent people have to suffer for some dudes meglomanian desire for power. Innocent children, bystanders, even family members have to suffer just so some guy can not even get powerful enough to defeat me. It’s like they sell their soul to compete but they end up losing because they don’t want to carry the cross nor do they read the bible. And even if they watch Star Wars, I doubt they even care about what it means.

Having morals means the survival of civilization. Studying science and being smart helps everyone and you get the girls! Selling your soul for power just turns you into a blind fool who easily jumps through hoops for someone else’s purpose. We can all have a better life if we work together. There is no need to panic or have fear. Fear leads to the dark side. And the dark side is self defeating path. Don’t follow it, don’t be like Anakin and get your joints chopped off with your body fried up hard like  Popeyes chicken.

Awwww how romantic! Grass, Anakin, Padme, green fields, every girl’s fantasy…..and a man’s worst nightmare. This led to Anakin killing Padme by accident after she had his kids and he had no idea he had a seed.  Having kids=instantly turning to the dark side of the force destroying your game because you get attached to some broad for the rest of your life because of a kid. But it is really the attachment and wanting to have possession over someone as if they are a toy or prize. That’s why it’s so much better to be self possessed and totally into how cool you are!

Look don’t catch an Anakin Skywalker. No matter what you do, avoid getting too close and too attached to some chick. You can enjoy multiple relationships and all the fun that come with them, but once one girl starts invading your mind, it means you are losing your pimp juice. A girl can tell when a man is losing his mojo and like a shark rushes to the scent of blood in water, girls rush to a oversensitive, super emotional, super talkative man who can’t control his anger.

The worst part about Anakin is that because he thought Obi-Wan tapped his wife’s ass, he got so angry that he attacked and tried to kill his master and friend. That is not good. Anger and hatred can blind you to the truth. Even if Obi-Wan did tap that, so what? It’s the Jedi code not to catch feelings. Women are people not objects. You can’t own a woman or tell her what to do. She is gonna do what she wants to do and it’s a wrap. Many men are going to read this and say “no she won’t” but yes she will. Your wife, your girlfriend, your sister, your mother is going to let some dude tap that ass behind your back and you are never going to find out about it until it is too late. So it is better to work those multiple relationships so you always have a back up just in case something goes wrong. You don’t want to be like Anakin who turns into Vader’s mechanical ass and can never get any pussy evar again!

"Words can't describe my feelings for Dell"

Its becoming a time-honoured tradition in my household. Every year a laptop blows up, usually of the Dell variety. While the term “blow up” is probably a gross overstatement of what happened, it lands pretty close to the mark in concerns to how I feel on the issue. To date I have owned 5 Laptops in around 6-7 years..not a bad average. Admittedly Laptop technology saw a drastic rise and some of the items were fazed out through natural means…But not all.

As people can probably tell from the sheer barrage of posts in the last 2 days (what are we on now 6-7 posts?) I have gotten the wind back in my sails and actually doing something relative to the content of this blog (ok I will admit mild distractions from my wargaming blog).

What arises now though is a new problem. I have moved away from the “reliable” Windows-based machines and taken my first plunge into “reliable” Mac territory…

"You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule."

I ended up getting the October 09 version of the Macbook, a much smaller bit of kit then I am used too. Specs are 2.26 Core Duo, 4Gb Ram, 500gb HDD,  Nvidia 9400m (built-in?), Snow Leopard OSX. It really is a step down for me but since my gaming days are long gone (ending with a brief run on Aion) I doubt very much that I will ever need anything mobile/powerful.

"Makes my eyeeees raiiiinnn"

So far it has been an uphill struggle, with multiple problems revolving around connectivity. When I first got the machine, I was able to use Safari, itunes etc do all the Apple type things you tend to do like flood your iphone with free Apps. But recently I have not been able to connect/download anything from itunes or the App store. The issue seems to be the router or Isp and so once again, just as something good happens, something bad that nullifies the good completely occurs to bring “balance”. This issue has recently spread to certain Anime figure websites and payment sites meaning I am heavily restricted on online purchasing. The same restrictions seem to apply to my iphone too creating double the frustration. Whats the point is having all this great stuff when you can’t use it for what it’s intended?!

On the plus side. The large HDD I invested in is paying for itself as I flood it with new figure photos, music and of course the back log of anime I have to watch. Only problem? VLC does not support 64bit Snow Leopard and they have no developers to work on it…Great, Told you it was an up hill struggle.

Undoubtedly readers have “felt” the Star Wars undertones and for good reason. After watching episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 2, I went ahead and ordered the Season 1 DVD box set to watch over the Christmas period.

"Making up for poor movie modifications?"

After watching episode 1 I can say that I was thoroughly impressed. Watching a “younger” Yoda carving the crap out of a droid battalion, was to say most pleasing. Some of the elements of this series remind me of Transformers the movie (Animated not the Megan porn Bay garbage) where there is complete unprecedented disregard of life! Episode two to three shows the merciless nature of General Grievous and has many a scene of Troopers being sucked into space to die a horrid death..sheer awesome. To date I have watched only the first 5 (disc 1) but if the quality remains consistent I will have a pretty good time watching the rest.

Worth checking out.

Thanks for reading

DiStudios

]]> http://theadorkable.net/2009/12/09/jamaican-me-crazy/ Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:57:45 +0000 Mandy http://theadorkable.net/2009/12/09/jamaican-me-crazy/

Well, well, well, what have we here? Oh that’s right, it’s Friday night and the mood is right for Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Tonight’s episode, Brain Invaders, felt somewhat like a consolation prize for me. After sitting through a ground campaign it was such a relief to be back in space. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed the “Geonosis Arc”, but I need variety and tonight proved as such.

Let’s start with the title of this episode. Brain Invaders encapsulates that pulpy, Saturday matinée serial feel. I mean, can you see the movie poster already? I just love it. It harkens back to those old school sci-fi b-movies. Not that I watched them or anything, but I mean, if i did, I imagine they’d be like this. ANYWAYS, it was a nice throw back.

As I tweeted on Friday, Dave and Company hit us with the foreshadowing dump truck. I had a near-visceral reaction to the nematoda-fueled betrayal of the Jedi by the clones. Regardless of the fact that “it really wasn’t their fault”, I couldn’t help but feel that familiar horrified sinking sensation that I get when I watch ROTS. What made this episode even more disturbing was the malicious intent: In ROTS the clones were cold and efficient, clinical even, when exterminating the Jedi. This time there was an undercurrent of malice and glee.

Yet again, we are presented with the conundrum of attachment versus compassion. Ahsoka is bestowed with an applicable scenario of sparing Barriss’ life over the greater good of the mission. Her own faith in her abilities and resourceful thinking are responsible for overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. To continue the philosophy discussion the padawans have a powwow of sorts in the frigate’s mess hall. Regardless of the words spoken, these glimpses into the conflicted minds of the Jedi humanizes them and adds more dimension to the characters.

I’m going to present a theory that will probably run contrary to the views of most for this episode. In Brain Invaders we see Anakin take a visible step towards the darkside. Where most are concerned, this is evidence of the future Darth Vader. I disagree. I think we are seeing Anakin being Anakin. I’ve found it difficult to reconcile the Anakin of The Clone Wars with the Anakin who slaughtered a village of Tusken Raiders. This is that Anakin. Is he “dark”? Yes. Is he evil? No. THIS is the difference between Vader and Anakin. That darkness has resided within Anakin since his days of slave labor. It’s just merely bubbling to the top during these instances. He sees his padawan in mortal peril and reacts. Would Obi-Wan have done the same thing in his situation? Probably not, but yet again we  see the attachment versus compassion angle in this situation and how Anakin handles it. From ROTS we know Poggle the Lesser is not still in custody. It will be interesting to see the legal ramifications of Anakin’s rough interrogation. Were two padawans and a handful of clones worth the lives that the freedom of Poggle cost? OH, and though this has been touched upon by others, the judicious use of the John Williams’ score during Anakin’s tiny day-trip into the Dark was prime.

PS. Did the final pose of Ahsoka holding Barriss look like a traditional Pietà pose? If it was, I love that crew. I really do.

I feel like I need a jingle for the list…

The Good

• I thought the clones’ voices were the most distinctive yet. DBB does an excellent job differentiating them as always.
• For some reason I loved seeing the mundane of Star Wars. The sleeping arrangements and mess hall scenes are always fascinating to me. What can I say? I’m a voyeur at heart.
• I love the throwback to the Tantive IV. It’s always nice when the animation team can make realistic and believable references.
• Barriss legitimately ran a clone through with a lightsaber. GRAPHICALLY. This was a good guy (human), under the influence of an outside power, who was killed by a Jedi. It doesn’t get any more adult than that.
• Oh Professor Fisto, can we just go sit on a beach and drink Red Stripe together?
• Barriss shattering the glass with the Force was visually stunning. Compared to Mace Windu’s glass shattering in the Ryloth Trilogy, hers is less controlled and  more wild.
• I like the reuse of the medical outpost.

The Fugly

• The bugs. I HATE bugs. The slithering animation is so realistic that it scares the beejeezus out of me.
• Barriss begging Ahsoka to kill her. It really broke my heart.

Remember, there will be no new TCW until the new year. If you’re feeling bored and if you’re in need of a TCW fix, I suggest you invest in the Season One DVD of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I’ll have a review of the DVD box set up and running relatively soon. Please enjoy these stills from Brain Invaders!

Not gonna lie... First thought was Storm.

PSST. Hey Barriss... Do you think he thinks I'm cute?

I've got nothing. Bitch has balls.

Hey NALA Hey!

Awww come on. THAT IS NASTY, DAVE.

Blasting out of the new Clone Wars TV series, it’s Anakin Skywalker’s customized Jedi starfighter! Fight the forces of the Separatists and the Dark Side with flick-firing missiles, retractable landing gear and an ejection button for R2-D2. Includes R2-D2 and new Anakin Skywalker minifigures. 153 pieces

My boys are 5 and 8. They both love Legos and Star Wars. They each have Anakin’s Fighter. They really enjoyed putting them together, with help. They play with them frequently. They love R2-D2! Ordering for Christmas?

Psalm 1:1 “Blessed [is] the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.”

As Christians, God has called us to a walk with His Son, Jesus. We are called to something deeper and more intense then any “religion” out there can ever offer. We are called to be like Christ, to deny ourselves, to serve others and to be in a personal, one-on-one relationship with our God. We are to do all this with a willing and happy heart.

Many religions of the world try to mimic this approach of selfless services to others. However, they neglect the one thing that Christianity offers, Jesus. Without serving in faith and according to the guidance of Jesus, it is all in vain and will profit you nothing. It will be like restoring an old automobile to look brand new so you can show off to others but neglecting to give it an engine. It’s worthless without the one thing that will drive it. Jesus is what drives us to walk the proper path.

In the previous study, we analyzed the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly. “In the counsel” suggests a momentary and occasional use of. One would now and again consult those who did not know godly counsel. They were merely flirting with it. They were testing the waters and tasting the Kool-aid.

Now we look at the man who does not stand in the way of the sinner. “In the way” suggests one is now on the path of the sinner. They have tasted of the counsel, liked it and now are following after it. They are on the path. They have gone from occasional participation by seeking the counsel and have now moved to habitual involvement by walking the path.

A path is defined as, “a course of action or conduct”. What was once an occasional indulgence has now become a habit. They have sown an action and now they have reaped a habit. Stand alludes to being firmly planted and unmovable. You have become firmly planted and grounded in the course you are now on. The ways of the sinner are now a part of who you are. You are now firmly rooted and grounded in sin.

To be blessed of God we must never get to a point to where we become grounded in our sin. When we begin to stand in the way of sinners, we have set a course for ourselves that leads only to death and destruction and it all started with seeking ungodly counsel.

Beware the Dark Side of the Force, they may be cute but…

Star Wars Sith Mighty Muggs lot

• Emperor Palpatine with force lightning
• Count Dooku with light saber
• Anakin Skywalker with light saber
  
• Darth Raven with light saber 
• Imperial Guard with force spike
• Snowtrooper with blaster

Tonight’s Star Wars: The Clone Wars episode of Landing At Point Rain was engaging on several levels. Firstly, because I did not post a response to the last episode, Senate Spy, I’d like to point out to all those people saying that Point Rain “makes up for the last one” that their conclusions are only slightly ridiculous. Senate Spy was something completely different that we, as an audience, have not seen in the Star Wars franchise; whereas when you boil down the latest episode, it’s just another Giant Battle ™. MOVING ON…

As I touched on earlier, Landing At Point Rain is a multilayered story. On the outside it’s a ground and air campaign against enemy forces on an epic scale. Another layer is seeing how the individual deals with the stress of war and in particular a battle. On the deepest level, it’s a study on the psyche of a survivor: Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ki-Adi-Mundi are returning to a place of slaughter of their Jedi brethren.

It’s interesting how each of them dealt with their emotions. Surprisingly, Obi-Wan seemed to be the most shaken of the group; particularly during his “last stand” moment in Act III. The other thing I noticed were the various characters’ coping mechanisms: Obi-Wan tends toward the witty banter, while Anakin and Ahsoka, on the surface, turn warfare into a competition. Anakin also becomes absolutely ruthless on the battlefield. Comparatively speaking, his fighting style is much more aggressive than any of his peerage. When faced with the knowledge of Obi-Wan’s crash and subsequent radio silence, he becomes intensely focused on the mission in order to maintain a modicum of calm. (How uncharacteristic…) Ahsoka, on the other hand, seems more conservative in this situation. (Keen viewers will notice her use of a “non-reverse grip” on her lightsaber towards the beginning of the episode, but as the stress of the battle reaches her, she reverts into older habits and the “reverse-grip” reappears.) In addition to the competitive streak and her fighting styles, Ahsoka’s sarcasm comes back in full force. Regarding Obi-Wan’s desperation in this episode, I have a theory: Over the past 10 years Anakin has been his coping mechanism. He could always revert into teacher mode when they were a Master/Padawan team. Obi-Wan no longer has that luxury in this situation. All he has left is sighing and beard stroking. Ki-Adi-Mundi and his 17 brains seem to be just fine.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the first time, excluding the abominable snowmen, that we have seen the Jedi and clone forces fighting and destroying an army of flesh and blood, or rather exoskeleton and goo, enemies? I think it is. That, in itself, raises the stakes to a level we have not yet seen. It’s not just a pile of metal bodies at the end of the day anymore. These are living creatures. That said, the Genosians were terribly menacing to me. Their noises and aggravated clicking were actually causing me stress. I wonder if that’s the multi-talented DBB providing the sounds… Though I can’t tell y’all how bad I wanted one of the Flamethrower! Clones to say, “Did someone call the exterminator?” in a really gravelly Clint Eastwood voice.

OMG, now it’s time for my LIST! Don’t you just love them?

The Good:

• The Animation: I know I say this every time, but these guys just keep on getting better and better. I have never seen anything like this on an animated series. Lucasfilm Animation is setting the bar on all future projects for themselves and the industry itself.
• Realistic Smoke and, um, Dirt Chunks
• Hello, Waxer & Boil! Long time, no battle.
• Blood! Blood! Blood! Seeing Obi-Wan looking legitimately injured took this episode to a whole other level.
• Excellent use of the Force. I enjoyed seeing the concentrated efforts of Anakin and Ahsoka. These are realistic Force properties.
• Fire: My inner pyromaniac got all excited.
• Yularen is more bitchtastic every episode and I love it.
• The final assault was something completely new. I don’t think we’ve ever seen something like that on TCW. The only way I can describe it is a “moving mural”.
• Ki-Adi-Mundi owned them all. He was so adorkable, he genuinely thought he was going to get some candy or a nice gift card to the local space Applebees at the end.

The Fugly:

• Whose assault plan was this? Can someone with stratergery explain it to me using small words and perhaps a diagram?
• I am normally a fan of Kevin Kiner’s scoring decisions. This may be the first time where the music did not enhance the show for me.
• Pacing: This episode wore me out. I enjoy some downtime in an episode and there was NONE of that here. All I need is a good thirty seconds to a minute of respite, but the pace of Landing At Point Rain was absolutely relentless. (Though, I have a feeling this was intentional.)

As I said on twitter, The only thing I hate about TCW is waiting for the next episode. Please enjoy these stills courtesy of the kind folks at the official site.

Luminara is not amused at ALL. She called shenanigans.

The very model of a modern Major-General. I am waiting for my G&S episode, Dave. Did you hear me, Dave? G&S.

Did someone say Alamo?

I really wish Rex had a space! blog or a galactic twitter account . I think he would be fucking hilarious.

I dare you to tell me you don't like Ahsoka. I'll hit you with my shoe.

Tune in next week for a chick fight! It should be airing during the normal time slot of  8PM/EST on the Cartoon Network for all you American types.

I was lucky enough to help Channel 9 cover the football game between the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings this past Sunday at Lambeau Field. This was of course Brett Favre’s return as a hated Viking and the atmosphere was electric.

Before the game me and anchor Bryon Graff were walking around the sidelines waiting for Favre’s to come out of the tunnel. There were fans holding signs everywhere both for and against Favre. There was a buzz throughout the stadium and it wasn’t even full and no one was even out warming up yet. When Favre ran out of the tunnel to warm up there was a mixture of boos and cheers and I would have to say about 80 percent were boos. If I was going as a fan I would have probably booed, but as a member of the media I can’t show favoritism to one team. I am not surprised there were mostly boos because for all Favre has done for Green Bay the fans could not imagine he would cross over to the dark side like Anakin Skywalker.

There were some signs with good comparisons like Star Wars, Benedict Arnold, and Caesar and Brutus. It was a moment I’ll never forget watching Favre throwing perfect spirals in a Viking uniform. As a Packer fan I always took for granted that Favre would always start every game and retire as a Packer. I knew he was the best, but now playing for another team I see  how good of a quarterback he really is and how he can make so many different throws and elevate his teams play.

In the locker room players were disappointed and said they need to play better. It was nothing outrageous or unexpected pretty generic stuff even for a big game like this.

Star Wars – Fans sind für ihre Leidenschaft und ihr Engagement bekannt.

Nun gabs auf Vimeo eine Ausschreibung, sämtliche Szenen des Science Fiction Klassikers sollten nachgespielt werden. Die einzelnen Sequenzen sind sehr charmant ausgefallen. Zur Website

C-3PO Walking

…if they’re on here twice, it means they lost him, then got him back.

1. Anakin Skywalker (creator)
2. Shmi Skywalker
3. Cliegg Lars (through marriage)
4. Padmé Amidala
5. Captain Raymus Antilles
6. Jost Ellon
7. Lott Kemp
8. Vik & Nikki Idd
9. Ambassador Zell of Majoor
10. Zevel Hortine
11. Thall Joben
12. Doodnik
13. Jann Tosh
14. Mungo Baobab
15. Governor Wena of Kalarba
16. Unknown junk dealer
17. Pitareeze family
18. Captain Huba (theft)
19. Nak Pitareeze and family
20. Harthan
21. Zorneth
22. Stigrit Krax
23. Larka Nimondro
24. King Gokus
25. Van P. Quist
26. Prince Jagoda
27. Royal House of Alderaan
28. Captain Raymus Antilles
29. Owen and Beru Lars
30. Luke Skywalker
31. Jabba Desilijic Tiure
32. Luke Skywalker
33. Leia Organa Solo

THEORY

This droid has been around for a long time, and has been with for the majority high ranking owners, which in Theory would allow C-3PO access to a lot of information the Empire would pay handsomely to know. Also with readily available access to such high ranking individuals, would grant C-3PO many opportunities to be a saboteur or dare I say assassin? Perhaps, in the lightest of light scenarios, he might work best as an “inside man.”

I pulled this list from a fellow C-3PO fan at http://neediest.droid.ever.com/

C-3PO Walking

…if they’re on here twice, it means they lost him, then got him back.

1. Anakin Skywalker (creator)
2. Shmi Skywalker
3. Cliegg Lars (through marriage)
4. Padmé Amidala
5. Captain Raymus Antilles
6. Jost Ellon
7. Lott Kemp
8. Vik & Nikki Idd
9. Ambassador Zell of Majoor
10. Zevel Hortine
11. Thall Joben
12. Doodnik
13. Jann Tosh
14. Mungo Baobab
15. Governor Wena of Kalarba
16. Unknown junk dealer
17. Pitareeze family
18. Captain Huba (theft)
19. Nak Pitareeze and family
20. Harthan
21. Zorneth
22. Stigrit Krax
23. Larka Nimondro
24. King Gokus
25. Van P. Quist
26. Prince Jagoda
27. Royal House of Alderaan
28. Captain Raymus Antilles
29. Owen and Beru Lars
30. Luke Skywalker
31. Jabba Desilijic Tiure
32. Luke Skywalker
33. Leia Organa Solo

THEORY

This droid has been around for a long time, and has been with for the majority high ranking owners, which in Theory would allow C-3PO access to a lot of information the Empire would pay handsomely to know. Also with readily available access to such high ranking individuals, would grant C-3PO many opportunities to be a saboteur or dare I say assassin? Perhaps, in the lightest of light scenarios, he might work best as an “inside man.”

I pulled this list from a fellow C-3PO fan at http://neediest.droid.ever.com/

Movies, je t’aime.

For lots of people, New York City is a magical place, like Cinderella’s castle (but not in Orlando or Anaheim).  These streets will make  you feel brand new! Big lights will inspire you! Big lights DO inspire people. Some of the most important literature/art/film of the past 2,000 years has to deal with New York City.  Specifically, Sex and the CITY (capitals mine) and the MTV hit show THE CITY (capitals mine again, but really the capitals of THE CITY should be everyone’s. It’s like The Hills without the intrigue, get excited!).  Those creative types love New York City and want to show New York City through their lenses and pens (Originally, I tried to make it “lens and penses” but that just seems like some archaic, naughty plural I don’t want to get into until I reach the fifth grade).  So, in the I Less Than Three NY tradition comes New York, I Love You.

Man, that Phoenix song is everywhere, y’all.

The film is based on the premise of 2006’s Paris, je t’aime, which set about to present twenty short films each based on one of the twenty arrondissements of Paris. Except that two of them weren’t very good or something, so there were eighteen short films. There wasn’t much in those other two districts I’m told, just lots of silly humans. I actually found one of the cut segments and I thought it was really good! You be the judge.

So, the producer was thinking big producer dreams and decided, “Let’s do this with another city. A city that uses English! Howabout, London, I Jolly Do Well Love Thee.” but then realized Love Actually was already a movie. “I guess New York will have to do.”

Directors were gathered, scripts written, actors brought in. Show us what you got, Big Apple!

Admittedly, I have never seen Paris, je t’amie (Freedom Fries these colors don’t run!) so I do not know if the movie succeeded in its composition or aims. The organizing structure  became looser in the case of New York so that every director had to focus primarily on a different neighborhood.  The film becomes, to paraphrase Henry James, a loose baggy Hayden Christensen.

But that’s not a bad thing! It’s the nature of the beast. An attempt is made to wrap all of the films together, but it works as more of a strain than a bond. While the film lacks a strong unity, little thematic elements manage to pop up a couple of times such as the idea of immigration in New York, little moments meeting people on the streets, the wonder of the city, and fucking.

The film starts with the reunion of the stars of the century’s most beloved romantic tale (Jumper). Rachel Bilson gets followed by Hayden Christensen with a creepiness that only a Sith could know. HC’s character uses petty theft as an icebreaker, but soon Andy Garcia doing his best Andy Garcia from Ocean’s 11 & 13 (not 12) and totally c-blocks Hayden. Short story short, Andy is cheating on his wife with Rachel (she just can’t get him to leave his wife! Is this the only role Rachel Bilson gets these days? The Last Kiss much?) and is also a better thief than Hayden so, morality everyone.

Natalie Portman acts in one short and directs another. Both are great. Wow, newsflash, Natalie Portman is good at movie things. Damn dudes, call me when she does something new like judges on Top Chef or sumthin (UPDATE: She’s judging on Top Chef!).

Sidebar: When Natalie Portman was featured on the cover of Rolling Stone, she told a story about how everyone on the Harvard student board wanted Dave Matthews Band to come play but Natalie wanted to bring Outkast. That’s the sort of thing my mom calls a good problem, Natalie!

Bradley Cooper and Drea DeMatteo star in one of the more explicit clips. There was nakedity, sure, but the most shocking thing in their scenes was the use of internal monologue. Both actors are good as we know from The Sopranos and Joey and Alias, but it was weird to hear their “inner voices” over-explain the story and phrase things in a manner you think you would never phrase your own thoughts (sort of like that sentence).

The most confusing of all the pieces was the John Hurt/ Julie Christie/ Shia LeBeouf short film.  The city itself was almost entirely absent since the story was set in a hotel.  Even when windows in the hotel were opened, a white light flooded the room effectively shutting out the city. Symbolism, I postulate. Julie plays a singer and Shia plays a Russian bellboy with a leg affliction (Franklin Delano Stevens, right?). There were some beautiful moments, but I couldn’t get past (SPOILERZ) the feeling that Shia LeBeouf was totally going to fuck Julie Christie. I missed the point, as I found out in the vignette’s SHOCKING conclusion.

Last night, my favorite part was the prom story starring Anton Yelchin and Olivia Thirlby (Sidenote: Did Olivia Thirlby commit some sort of a crime recently and is considered a flight risk? Everything I see her in is shot in New York and by everything, I mean Bored to Death, The Wackness, and now this movie. In one movie, she’s up in Brooklyn, then, in another, she’s down in Tribeca, next to DeNiro!).

Anton Yelchin:Making everyone root for him. James Caan from televisions Las Vegas: Making a Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can. Their short flipped the typical teen comedy genre around in a city setting while showing that such tropes could still work (Take that suburbs). While it was a bit contrived, it was cute and fun and aww. I was taken by the whole thing.                                                     Then  I  found  who  directed it. . . .

Check out this motherfucker. Brett Ratner directed the teen comedy part of the film. That killed me since Brett Ratner and I have sort of a relationship that’s like Che Guevara with bling on; it’s complex.

Sure, Brett Ratner has a bunch of good things on his resume, such as directing credits for Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” video and the Wu-Tang Clan’s “Triumph” video, but he also directed X-Men: The Last Stand. That movie aches my heartsoul! I love the X-Men, Ellen Page, and adventure. All those things were in the movie, but alas! I did not love it. Brett Ratner cuts deep.

Doing some research (aka scanning MetaCritic), showed me some things. Critically, New York, I Love You seems to be getting a bunch of guff for being inconsistent and giving, at best, a cursory look at the city.  Unsurprisingly, the hardest critics are from the New York papers. My boy, A.O. Scott, kills it with the snark noting “The pieces of New York, I Love You make up a parallel city that no one would want to live in, much less visit.” Me-ow A.O! My favorite snippet comes from the Daily News’ Elizabeth Weitzman, who writes “Anyone who actually adores New York is unlikely to appreciate this disappointingly bland collection of shorts, which might as well have been called ‘Madrid, Te Amo’ or ‘Cincinnati, You’re the Best.’” Hittin’ the Queen City where it hurts!

Sort of like the mathematical expression (a/b)/(c/d), my relationship with New York City is complex.  Living on Long Island gives both a familiarity with New York City and a suburban fear of it. From my experience, lots of Long Islanders don’t take advantage of the city as much as they can or would like. However, this relationship is similar to the relationship that New York City’s citizens have with their metropolis. In both cases, there is a keen awareness of NEW YORK and what it means to an individual life. That individuality and awareness is not easily qualified in one emotion or one interaction.  New York, I Love You does its best to try and capture the ineffable. Lots of nice moments and scenes that are worthy of being seen and appreciated come from this exercise but the film cannot pass out of simple representation to become its own special entity.

I’m an enormous STAR WARS fan and love to talk shop.  This is part one in a series outlining what I see as a number of flaws in the continuity, tone, and general existence of the prequel trilogy.

First, let’s discuss George Lucas’ decision to flesh out the back story of Darth Vader as it is the basis for the prequel trilogy itself.  Perhaps the most intimidating figure in the galaxy, he represents the coldness and ruthlessness of the Galactic Empire.  For much of the original trilogy he is essentially faceless, a sociopath, and revealed to be heavily bionic.  He represents the antithesis of life, light, and goodness.  As such, much of his mystique stems from the fact that his origin is cloudy.  Sure he was the father of Luke Skywalker, and a powerful Jedi before succumbing to the Dark Side, but how he came to be Darth Vader is ultimately irrelevant.  What he stands for is the physical embodiment of evil, an idea.  By humanizing him, as Lucas did in Episodes I through III, no longer is the Rebellion’s adversary the very opposite of good, but a petty victim of manipulation.

This adjusts the focus of the original trilogy away from Luke.  Though originally the main arc, his hero’s journey is turned into a vehicle to redeem Anakin of his missteps.  However, the perspective is radically changed.  Luke’s personal struggle is no longer seen through the limited scope of his understanding of the universe, but as a grand plan by remaining Jedi to ultimately vindicate a fallen comrade.

As a corollary to this, it important to note that the Star Wars saga is meant to be viewed backwards, as the narrative effectively ends in Episode III.  This is apparent as many events in don’t actually line up precisely in the hiatus between Episodes III and VI.

One of the most important examples of this and the antagonist’s shifted role is the lightsaber duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader at the end of Episode IV.  Being presumably their first meeting since Obi-Wan badly disfigured Anakin and forced him into his suit, one would expect a more emotional, personal scene.  But if you watch closely, there is really no indication of their extensive, brotherly history.  In fact, it almost appears as if Obi-Wan is facing Darth Vader for the first time.  While one could argue that in his exile Obi-Wan developed a distinct apathy and failure complex with regard to his former relationship with Anakin, essentially disowning him, I would think the first reunion of estranged loved ones after 18 or so years might carry significantly more weight.

You’ve seen the photo cropped images of President Obama as the Joker.  They went viral the moment they were posted

Now, here’s my humble suggestion for all you people out there that have a knack for such things.  How about Obama as Chancellor Palpitine from the Star Wars movies?

The Chancellor is supposed to be this kind old man working behind the scenes to save the Republic.  He’s like everyone’s doting uncle.

But in Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith: Palpitine fully embraces and is completely consumed by the dark side of the force.  (Evil cackle and all)

He persuades heroic but troubled Anikin Skywalker to also embrace the dark side.  Anikin follows Palpitine until he too is consumed by evil to become the iron lung breathing Darth Vader.

It’s in the final chapter of the series that we have the best image to use for our president.  Imagine Obama as The Emperor, zapping the living daylights out of Anikin Skywalker’s son Luke.

“And now young Skywalker,

you will die.”

Except in this picture, it’s not Luke Skywalker writhing in agony on the floor,

It’s Lady Liberty herself!

May God bless America (And the world)

In Jesus name,

AMEN.

Sometimes, movies fail in almost every way to meet the expectations their genius posters create; other times, they’re about as good any possible poster might’ve made me imagine.

John Denner
YodaVanHalen

A Jedi’s Strength Flows From The Force – Yoda ( John Denner Guitar Solo )

Um humorista americano chamado Al Yankovic, conhecido como Weird Al Yankovic, ficou famoso por parodiar músicas e clipes famosos alterando a letra das músicas, dando-lhes novos temas, sempre de forma bem-humorada e escrachada. Aqui, para conjugar ainda mais com o mundo nerd, o Ao Sugo resolveu trazer até vocês a paródia da música American Pie, contando do início, em termos de enredo, de uma das sagas mais queridas do cinema mundial nerd, Star Wars. Com legendas para os mais limitados.

Aproveitem:

Marcus Vinicius Pilleggi, Jedi Master

(Season 2, Episode 3)

You’d think the Republic would have been able to realize one major shortcoming of having you entire army wear full body armor, including opaque helmets. Absolutely anybody could be under there. Of course, as we saw in the movies, the Empire still hadn’t learned that particular weakness.

This time it was Bane who took advantage of the clone armor and snuck his way on board the Resolute.  Bane escaped, of course, and with the holocron was able to help Darth Sidious put forth the next plan in his movement.

I’m really enjoying the darker direction The Clone Wars is taking this season. As the war escalates, things are going to get ugly. And as soon as you pull children into the struggle, everybody’s uncomfortable.

It was particularly disturbing seeing those force-sensitive children being strapped down for experimentation. And they left exactly what was being done to our imaginations.

While Bane leads Mace Windu and Obi-Wan to the holocron, where he promptly escapes for the second time this episode, Anakin and Ahsoka follow the clues and find the children on the world of Mustafar. They rescue the kids which means everybody’s safe and Bane is loose.

The Jedi Council and the Republic are no closer to learning who Bane was working with, but Sidious no longer has any children, nor does he have the location of where they are, unless he made a backup of the holocron. So I guess we just hit a big reset button.

I’m actually finding the arcs easier to follow this season than I did last season, and things seem much more intense and “important,” as it were. Hopefully, the writers have thought long-term about the natural progression of this war, so we don’t wind up with an eleven year look at a much shorter war. M*A*S*H made that work, but I don’t think it would work here.

You might have noticed I didn’t do a recap of last week’s premiere of Season Two of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. In lieu of my own words, have some of these. Moving along…

Did y’all see tonight’s episode? I might have uttered unintelligible phrases several times throughout the evening. I can see how this might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it is the best episode I’ve watched in recent memory. Let’s run through some of the elements that I loved:

• The animation was spectacular. Yes we’ve seen Naboo and Rodia, but the Gungan city was breathtaking. If I paused the show frame by frame, it legitimately looks like a painting each time.
• Jedi Interrogation. It was an interesting contrast to Bane’s earlier method in Cargo of Doom. With Cade Bane I felt an air of malevolence, whereas with the Jedi it was almost sinister and somewhat cabal like. Good lord, I sound like Karen Traviss.
• Tooka Doll! It’s so nice to see holdovers from other episodes. Even a little thing like a child’s toy really makes the series even more seamless.
• I loved that there was genuine detective work in this episode. In EU novels, it’s always one of my favorite elements (The JA books had a goodly amount…)
• Let’s discuss that little Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom moment in Bane’s space hovel. I clapped my hands stupidly. Complete the analogy: Fedora:Lightsaber::Whip: _______
• I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am… I’m almost positive that during the rescue of the Jedi Babies ™ there was a snippet of Williams’ Battle of the Heroes. Only the opening horn call, and in a different key, also with different instrumentation, but I’m like 96.3% sure it’s in there.

Now for a couple of questions and miscellanea that I have:

• Is Obi-Wan on the council? Is it a provisional seat? What does this spell for the “Team”?
• There is a lot of violence towards Ahsoka. I have yet to decide my feelings on this matter.
• What is the surgery being performed on the younglings? Was it performed on the younglings?
• Palpatine/Sidious has a secondary facility. Where and why?

Overall, this was an outstanding episode. Can I have next Friday now? Please enjoy these stills from Children of the Force:

I have yet to reconcile this. It's like kicking a puppy. A puppy that could kill you, but a puppy nonetheless...

I was waiting for the marshmallows... I was disappointed.

I may have yelled "BATARANG". Shut up, I know it's a damn cable launcher.

I want one. I want one NOW.

Jedi Mind Fuck

Birth Control: Nothing works better than screaming children.