Day Freakin’ Fourteen.

Wow. Mother Nature really screwed us here in Oklahoma didn’t she? I mean holy crap, the “Blizzard of 2009″ blew in on Christmas Eve and flipped Santa the biggest bird EVER. We haven’t seen snow like that here since…well…ever. It was actually really nice to have a white Christmas. We opened presents, played Wii until I ran out of cuss words, and had a jolly ole time. I didn’t eat too much! I really didn’t! I’m really motivated by all of you who email and comment with advice and your own progress. It’s nice to not be alone in what sometimes seems very daunting.

Oh, you must watch this…I will do this for you if you will do this for me.

As a brief update :

I've only eaten out ONCE this month. If you will remember THE RULES, I get to eat out twice a month. So, I'm feeling really good about my progress. I'm using January to focus more on exercise since I seem to have my fast food cravings under control. I'm traveling for five days in January so I'm going to need some suggestions as to what I can do to keep from eating out. I think it will be a fun yet irritating challenge for me.

You can always check my progress by clicking the CALENDAR link on the right! It's has kept me super accountable to keep that updated!

One of these days I will get back to writing, explaining what I’ve been up to and fall back into my normal hater-style ways.  Right now though, I thought I’d share something that has made me laugh as of late.

Ok, this one too.

Carry on.

How does God fit into the idea of this recently man-cursed plant? Did God create the cannabis plant as another version of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? Look, but don’t touch? Or did He give it to us as medicine?

God created marijuana. Man made it illegal. Who’s wrong here?

“Then God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth’; and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its own kind, and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself and according to its own kind. And God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:11-12).

Did God change His mind? Is this herb now cursed? Did He appoint our government to erase His mistake and outlaw what He originally called “good”? Is it ironic that today the average American won’t touch the plant because it’s illegal and would lose their job over it?  Would it have been wrong to have used cannabis for any reason before 1937?  The American government has made it immoral to use it because they have made it illegal.

My favorite conspiracy. In our lifetime it will become decriminalized. Too many people are starting to see the truth. The Internet helps. Try doing an Internet search of any type whether it be Google, YouTube, WordPress, it doesn’t matter. The results it yields are not abundant with facts that about how harmful cannabis is. Instead the top yields are truths about how asinine it is that mankind continues to ban a helpful plant.

The DEA recently threw Charles Lynch in prison for up to 100 years out in California because he legally (by the state law, he had the proper license to do so) sold cannabis to patients who had a prescription for it, but because the federal law has yet to recognize cannabis as medicine, he was given the punishment of a real drug dealer. He’s a living, modern day martyr. Potentially serving life in prison for helping sick people. That’s going to bring attention to the issue. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0vpzxWU9io&feature=player_embedded

Not good for our government and prescription drug companies trying to keep the medicine illegal. But for now, we will continue to allow healthy people to become sick and die by using alcohol and tobacco products, and ironically allow the sick and dying to suffer instead of letting them use a plant as medicine to ease their pain.

I could see this being an SNL Digital Short by Andy Samberg, only it’s actually true:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYxAvnFsqAY

“Table of Contents”

Introduction  http://wp.me/pxqBU-5k

Truth #1: The Profit from Illegalization http://wp.me/pxqBU-4W

Truth #2: The False Floor of the Harmful Gateway Theory http://wp.me/pxqBU-4Z

Truth #3: The Stigma of a Pot Head http://wp.me/pxqBU-52

Truth #4: God was the First Cannabis Grower http://wp.me/pxqBU-55

Truth #5: Society Itself is a Hypocrite http://wp.me/pxqBU-59

Truth #6: Man is Taking Credit for God’s Free Gift http://wp.me/pxqBU-5c

Truth #7: Common Sense and Justice Eventually Prevail http://wp.me/pxqBU-5

Truth #8: Banning Cannabis Keeps Us from Utilizing Hemp http://wp.me/pxqBU-7b

Wow, I’ve been listening to mostly metal and darker stuff (a lot of Anathema) the last few days and we’ve been having the best time!  It’s been a rainy and cold kind of week and I think I’m already packing away summer for fall.  Sorry summer, you had a good run, but we’ve got to move on.    Frankly, I think we’re all a little tired of your heat, your weird volleyball obsession, those skimpy clothes, and the sweaty hair sticking to the forehead.  So, see you next year, summer.  You know the way out, right?

So kittens, the point of this post is not to illustrate my rich fantasy life, nor my love of autumn.  It bothers me that the seasons are not capitalized. No, like the title says, I want to talk about hot guys, er, Hott Guyz, that I’d like to date/marry/snog and the important qualities said hot guy should posses.  To illustrate, here are too many pictures of guys I like and a little description of why I like them.

Noel Fielding-he’s one of the stars of The Mighty Boosh, he’s English, has messy cool hair, he’s very funny…ummm, cool emo skeleton shirt thing?

John Cusack-You don’t know who John Cusack is?  Come on, people.  He’s that smart, funny American actor from awesome movies like High Fidelity, Better Off Dead, and Grosse Pointe Blank.

Russel Brand-super English, very funny, dead sexy like a gay pirate rocker, messy cool hair (I’m noticing a trend), but I’m not sure that he’s the marrying/stay with a girl more than one day type.

John Krasinski-from The Office and that new, sweet-looking movie with Maya Rudolph.  He’s funny too, has kind of messy hair, and seems like a sweet guy.

Jason Lee-Jason, I have been in love with your dopey charm, messy hair (uh-oh), and quick wit since Mallrats, and you just keep getting better.  Heck, I even like the mustache.  I’m calling it right now…they should totally do a Smokey and the Bandit remake and my betrothed can play The Bandit.

Ben Affleck-Shut up, I don’t want to hear it, you guys.  I thought he was really good in Jersey Girl and Chasing Amy and he’s charming and good looking, ok?

Jason Sudeikis-Finally, a Phil Hartman-esque Saturday Night Live leading man.  It doesn’t hurt that he had a guest run on 30 Rock and that his hair is sorta messy.  Liz Lemon is the crazy…I’d totally move to Cleveland with him.

Sir Jack Black-Again, you may have “opinions” about Mr. Black, but I’m not interested in hearing them.  He’s not bad looking, but he has mega-personality and nuclear wit…mostly messy hair..oh God, I AM that easy!

Paul Rudd-Messy hair, messy hair, messy hair…and he’s a Wet Hot American Summer alum.

Andy “Messy Hair” Sandberg-I’m kind of an SNL nerd too and I really like the era that started with Andy Sandberg’s arrival…”Laser Cats” and “Lazy Sunday.”

Greg Anderson-Dunno if he’s funny or not, but he’s a good-looking beardo, runs Southern Lord Records, and is one half of Sunn O))).  I’m sure his hair is pretty messy.

Stephen O’Malley-a.k.a. SOMA and one half of Sunn O))).  A talented graphic artist and musician who rocks a mean Van Dyke and lives in Paris!  Le sigh!

Stephen Malkmus-Messy hair from way back, Scrabble-loving, and the incredibly talented songwriter from Pavement and Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks. Seriously, I would marry some of his lyrics…to wit: “the yearling took the purse, the goth kid has a hearse” and “The Hook.”

Geof Manthorne-A quiet, dry-witted, messy-haired, sweet, cake-decorating man with the piercing blue-green (hazel?) sex eyes.

Ben Turner-Also from Ace of Cakes.  This isn’t the greatest picture of him, but I assure you, he’s arty, mustachioed, vaguely French-looking, and now.  Seriously, I like his look…like he really looks like he should be from John Water’s Baltimore…in a good way.

Adam Richman-What?  So I watch a lot of foody shows.  I didn’t want to fall in love with Adam Richman.  I have a major problem with competitive eating and it seems like that’s about all he does on Man v. Food.  So, even though I worry about him, he’s got a lot of chubby charm and I’m sure he’d treat a lady right…or at least feed her.

So, if you’re keeping score at home, apparently, I like guys with the brown, messy hair and oodles of personality that are on television or in rock bands. I didn’t know I was so easily pegged.  Which list guy would you rather a) date/marry and b) have a hot, one night, throwdown with*? Are there any non-Pitt/Clooney, glaring omissions?

Tune in next time for Hott Guyz, Y’all II:  The Hott Girlz Edition.

Well last night was the MTV Movie Awards and we drew straws at the office here and I ended up Twittering the show for everyone. All in all I thought it was pretty boring with the exception of the Andy Sandberg bits and the awkward Eminem moment. For those that missed it Sacha Baron Cohen came down on Eminem in his character Bruno from a wire. He was barely wearing anything and basically 69’d slim shady. Of course Eminem got pissed and left the theatre right then and there.

A lot is being said about this moment on MTV, I’m sure most people are talking about right now at work actually. Was it staged? Yes. Did Eminem know what was going to happen? His people are saying yes but that looks like a cover up to save face. Our belief around the office is that Slim had no idea he was going, we can tell just by looking at the dudes face as he leaves. He was pissed off and who can blame the guy. You just came back from kicking a pill problem, you haven’t been in the spotlight in 4 years and the first thing that happens when you go back to MTV is they set you up and drop a dudes crotch in your face. I don’t care how understanding you are you would have to be pissed if that situation happened to you and the fact that he didn’t take a swing at Sacha Cohen was kind of impressive. We also have to give mad props to Zac Efron who had to follow up this event by making his acceptance speech at the most awkward of times.

So what happens next? I assume beef. You can assume that Eminem is going to go into the studio and rip Sacha Baron Cohen apart on a track. As for SBC, well he got what he wanted. He got the shock value gag done and he has his publicity for his movie which looks hilarious.

And that was the most interesting thing that happened at the MTV Movie Awards.

They did it again…

I didn’t think they could top Dick In a Box, but I was wrong. These dudes better stay away from my Mother. what is this world coming to. WOW

link to video: Justin Timberlake and Andy Sandberg Mother Lover

If you missed this saturdays SNL then you missed out on the second funny thing on the show this season. Mother Lover is the new Digital Short produced for the show and it stars Justin Timberlake and Andy Sandberg. It is a continuation of the Dick in the Box short. If you’ve missed it and want to catch up on the hilarity then here is your chance. Click the link below

SNL Digital Short- Mother Lover

P.S. Happy Mothers Day To All My Friends Moms!!!

This still makes me pee my pants laughing! I even bought the Lonely Island CD because of this and believe it or not musically the CD is pretty awesome. I was shocked that not only was it funny, but also danceable. Love it! Also check out: I’m on a Boat & Dick in a Box 1…. actually all of these skits are pretty awesome so look at them ALL! 

These are seriously some of the best skits on SNL and Andy is awesome!!!!!!  Does anyone else think Justin should just join the cast of SNL? He is like ALWAYS on there and he’s pretty damn funny too. 

UPDATE: This is the THIRD time I have re-posted. Damn NBC!!! Let people watch the f-ing video will ya??

FINAL UPDATE: Screw NBC. They pulled all of the videos for the post I was trying to show you. Trust me it was funny…look for it if you can. SNL digital short called “Mother Lover.” I’m over looking for it AGAIN!

I heard something about him sucking his own dick.

-Topher

I haven’t thought of the book Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in years… But when I saw that a trailer was just added toApple Trailers, the distant but fond memory of listening to this book being read in my elementary school’s library came back to mind.
 Sony Pictures Animation is adapting Judi Barrett’s classic 1978 story (illustrated by Ron Barrett) for a 3D film which releases September 18th, 2009. Bill Hader, Anna Faris, Tracy Jordan, and Andy Sandberg will be lending their voices to the film. I’m not sure if the film will win over those who loved the story as a kid, but hopefully at the very least it brings attention back to the book itself for a new generation.

(via design:related)

So why do all the famous viral/YouTube videos of the song:

Always star dudes:

And boys: 

And famous male performers:

Instead of cute 4-year olds in ballerina outfits?

This is for those of you that didn’t watch Hot Rod (or didn’t watch it high or drunk). The movie was a blip in the theaters and was brought to us by the boys from The Lonely Island (Comic geniuses from Berkeley High that have singlehandedly saved SNL this year, Pre-Tina Fey as Sarah Palin). You may have heard of how Lorne Michaels plucked the trio and gave them writer/player roles at SNL. But what you may not have heard was the (un)official fourth member of the crew is an Asian guy: Chester Tam. Here is why they are comic genius: Chester Tam, some flyers, pelvic thrusts and some hard house:

The other crowd pleasers from Lonely Island come from the SNL Digital Shorts, here are my favorites: Andy Punches, Iran So Far, Natalie Raps, Extreme Challenge and the legendary J*** In My Pants. 

As soon as I can afford to retire or get a boat (whichever comes first) I will literally be doing exactly this for the rest of my life. Only with more women/booze and less Vocoder.

T-Pain is a huge guilty pleasure of mine. Everything he does is gold in my eyes.

This is one of the better SNL videos they’ve done in a long time. My favorite is still the Maroon 5 one where he was like “Iran so far….”

Enjoy: