Angel-A

Inspirado pela recente visita de Rie Rasmussen ao Rio para o lançamento de “Human Zoo“, resolvi rever “Angel-A”, que vi no Festival do Rio de alguns anos atrás. O filme não passou nos cinemas daqui, mas o dvd já foi lançado – e o meu está autografado pela Rie!

André é um cara todo errado. Baixinho, feio, deficiente físico, deve dinheiro para todo mundo e só se mete em roubadas. Aí surge Angela, uma loira de 1,80m e corpo de modelo, que muda a sua vida.

O grande trunfo do filme é seu casal protagonista. Jamel Debbouze (que esteve em “O Fabuloso Destino de Amelie Poulan) está ótimo como o looser André. E Rie (que também fez “Femme Fatale“), linda como sempre, arrasa em seu curtíssimo vestidinho preto. É um casal completamente improvável, e a química entre os dois está perfeita.

“Angel-A” foi dirigido por Luc Besson em 2005. Besson passou seis anos sem dirigir nenhum filme (desde “Joana D’Arc”, de 99). Não sei o que o fez ficar tanto tempo sem se sentar na cadeira de diretor, mas, como fã de filmes como “Subway”, “Imensidão Azul”, “Nikita”, “O Profissional” e “O Quinto Elemento”, espero que ele não pare de novo!

A fotografia do filme, toda em p&b, traz cenas belíssimas. E o astral do filme é ótimo. Besson abandonou o estilo “ação estilizada” que tem usado muito nos filmes que produz (como “Taxi” ou “Carga Explosiva“), e fez um filme de pouca ação, poucos efeitos especiais e uma reflexão sobre o bem e o mal, sobre como o ser humanopode ser melhor.

Não é para qualquer um, não é para qualquer hora. Mas, no clima certo, é um ótimo filme!

So many… not just reflections. Memories… love. Notwithstanding all the difficulties all seemed so plain when you were with me and I trusted in your love… Just to believe that we’re strong enogh, that you’re strong enough… even if I know that that isn’t so… And now. What is now? A broken person alive ’cause of friends that didn’t let me go… That fear almost everyday that I can leave this world. That stay round me repeating again and again… breathe… breathe… breathe… Yes, honey, I remember your anger against my words that Angel A would not survive my death while you could do it easily. But see… you just proved that I was right. Don’t leave me… that was all I asked of you. But it was too much. And now many people are around me that need me and I… and I…

Of course angels are leggy chain-smoking platinum blondes who wear LBD’s and pearls.

Rie Rasmussen and Jamel Debbouze in Angel-A (Luc Besson, 2005)

All is so complicated. Everywhere a lot of problems, missing smiles, pain and depression… and no way to escape. I saw another dream with you and Autumn really makes me fall again… I breathe, Angel… I breathe with you… Everytime I feel so bad and dead I remember you… and I breathe. For you. I don’t want to mention the problems of others ’cause I fear that if I say that it’ll become true… I just want… all to be ok. God…

Tangles of threads… Yesterday I met Anatol, we had a nice walk and I asked him to make something for me... It seems that I’m not able to keep a promise to Angel A… this year. Alas. Many problems of different kinds. And all these shoot-outs with Light-kun… Tired. It isn’t a breakdown, it’s just… a breakdown. *close my eyes* I hope I’ll manage to sing at animefest… that would be great. Maybe.

The time is out of joint—O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

Gangs and Rites of Passage; false gun toting, Confederate flag waving patriotism; going off to some chosen university where the petty Rites of Passage are all about getting drunk, learning about sex and cheering with a herd of lemmings who share the passion for some local football team or national football team; We made it, we managed to hide ourselves within the herd of all those surging human instincts; or generally feeling that we are young and immortal with abounding energy to deplete our life forces and rebuild them, after our hangovers, with a quick nap, allows us, from around 17 to 22 to wake up every day and face the trials of life as if we had an adult heart and soul.

But the numbers in every single instance, without exception, is that by 18.6 years or 19 years, the Moon that marked a point, a unique point and position where you were born, returns once more to the exact spot from whence you entered life and took your first star fixed breath. At 19 years of age we are ready for the most intimate window of blessing in a whisper, that our Angels have waited to share with us.

But just at this point, when we are still unsure of our thinking, our understanding of ourselves as spiritual beings, confused by the ghetto, the false patriotism that is spouted by military recruiters and the lies of the church and the failed insights of priests and community and congregations alike, at this sensitive point in our biographies, we are least likely to pay heed to the faint and potent indicators that our Angels have kept sacred for just this moment in our incarnation.

We can mostly recognize that our parents education has 100% failed to even comprehend the rhythms that lie in every human biography, these so called adults who are supposed to prepare the ground for you, well they have never even bothered to concern themselves with the universal details of each human biography. For it is with everyone, without exception, females and males alike that at around about 19 the moon’s first node opens the first flickering light that illuminates the inner world of what you sought to become and what you seek to learn in this earthly incarnation.

The meeting with this inner direction that applies only to you and your biography will come back every 19 years. The nineteenth, thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years ahead will find you reviewing with your Angel the entire pattern, mistakes and choices that you made in life. It all starts, the first lap of our long journey starts at approximately 19 years of age with our Angel attempting to create a moment in the turmoil of life that opens the eyes of our soul.

Each and every biography has the same numerical patterns and each of these patterns must unfold in each and every biography. The individual events will appear differently with each individual, but the profound lessons arrive on everyone’s doorsteps. I am focusing on only one specific event horizon, around the 19th year, because this is really the hardest and this is the one that sets us off in directions where we can lose our humanity or recover our humanity only later, or send us off on a Forest Gump/Parsifal adventure where we discover the magnificent divine wisdom of the world all by accident.

“The Fool is seemingly oblivious to much of life, is often naive, invariably wide eyed and innocent at much of life’s travails, and is someone clearly in dire need of divine protection. And in this respect, the Fool receives it… on a continual basis!

“For example, if Forest Gump is our model, then the Fool is the archetype of an individual honored by several U. S. Presidents, spectacularly successful in both war and in business enterprises, recipient of the benefits of both a loving mother and true, lasting friendships, and overall someone who really does quite well for himself.

“Other representations of the Fool include: 1) Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn ambling along the Mississippi River, carrying their belongings in makeshift satchels — both out to find high adventure and learn life’s lesson first hand, 2) the prodigal son in pursuit of the phenomenon of living, 3) an innocent Parsifal seeking redemption in the Quest for the Holy Grail, while experiencing all the positives and negatives the world has to offer, and/or 4) the wandering prince and minstrel, experiencing the slings and arrows of those who don’t respect or even trust any wandering individual, prince or not. The Fool is the quality in each of us that stirs at the thought of adventure and responds eagerly even to the hint of a new challenge. The Fool wanders in where others fear to go.”

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread

Ignorant or inexperienced individuals get involved in situations that wiser persons would avoid, as in I’ve never heard this symphony and here I am conducting it: well fools rush in where angels fear to tread. It is the opening prelude to our own living gigantic biographical symphony and we are asked to conduct it without ever having grasped the rhythms and patterns in the laws of biography or the laws of music.

We are suddenly thrust in as the conductors and it feels like everyone is watching, the curtain has gone up and here I stand naked, revealed and winging it. Starting with this delicate 18 to 21 year window of our already started lifetime, well we don’t have a clue and our parents have no clue as to what our own little Beethoven symphony will be like. It will have strong dramatic parts, elated and soaring crescendos and cadences, it will have holy uplifting phrases and thundering drums. It will be our own biographies and there is a score and a tonal model for each and every biography just as there are precise laws of music.

Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread
And so I come to you my love
My heart above my head
Fools rush in, where wise men never go
But wise men never fall in love
So how are they to know
When we met, I felt my life begin
So open up your heart and let
This fool rush in

But one of the least prepared regions of the biography appears to be where the blind parents and community and nation, throw our young people to the wolves and cannot consciously, with awareness and alertness, assist the 19 year old and the 20 year old to listen to the highest indications that our unique and sacred Angels will offer us as windows into our own potential. Potentials that we may not have guessed yet or are still waiting to hear… But the indicators are there.

Our own Angels and our higher soul spirit Being will hover around the 19 year old and 20 year old and any of those faint glimmerings will be overwhelmed in the tangle of materialistic intentions of the the parents, the immature and deluded patriotism of relatives and friends and the empty phrases from politicians and meaningless limp mumblings from our local churches. This unsorted out mess is all that makes up the clump of uncooked chaotic cookie dough we call ourselves at 19.

Yet from this entire tangled mess of family and community relationships, we gather our little bag of experience and rush head long into the oncoming traffic. Nothing wakes us up more to our navigational potentials as our own immediate impacts with catastrophic and unyielding reality.

Pregnancy, DUI’s military discipline or our own lack of direction assail us. And, we have to listen very carefully, but we won’t, but we have to listen carefully to the clues as to our own unique and singular direction. We have to listen very carefully from 17 to 20 and watch for the beginnings of our own signs and wonders. These signs and wonders of our own will slowly become our navigational indicators through many of life’s trials.

Sometimes chance and synchronicity or coincidence will throw us a life line and at other times we deliberately have chosen the stubborn, bull headed path of learning everything the hard way. We won’t accept any faint intuitions and insights unless we are sure of the fact that we deserved, earned and won them and soon, before long we find that life is not fair and the undeserving steal and rob from the deserving. But we won’t listen to the little inner voice that speaks to us of how we screw things up all by ourselves. No, we want it the hard way, instead of the miraculous mercurial rich and personal meaning that awakens in our magical intuitions, we want the arbitrary human intellect.

Women have a better capacity for gaining and following the quick mercurial meanings and insights than most men. Women are wired to understand certain sensitive intuitions and nuances that literally blow right by men. Men need to become poets and musicians so that some kind of music can filter into the density of their hearts and weave light patterns, weave mercury’s intuitions through and through so that the tiny slumbering soul can feel intimate meanings, the way women normally can.

And in the long run we learn that our Angel’s are woven of this mercurial substance of synchronicity, music and intimate patterns of coincidence. This is how we learn the language of the stars in the working of events that happen directly to us and with us but we are too dull to receive the event and open ourselves with rich reflection of thought and communion to our emotions.

It is hard to learn the wisdom of tears and cherish the glow and warmth of laughter that is not mockery. In the long run we see rhythms and patterns weaving clearly within each human biography and they are based on real numbers and real Time points as we grow older. But it all stands before us as a confounded riddle of the Sphinx at 19.

Certainly there will be a teacher or a boss or a coach or an adult or a friend who truly can hear or is near hearing the real whispering of what the higher intentions are of why we truly sought for our life on earth. They are rare but they are there as part of our intimate guides through the chaos of this 19 to 21 year taffy pull of the soul.

If no deep impression comes to us, it means we weren’t listening or we drowned out the intimate sensitivity with mountains of superficial distractions in order not to hear and prove to ourselves that there are no intimate secrets, rather it is all just a ball of meaningless nothings. Existential nihilism in a pretty package of tattoos and flesh.

But none of our sought for answers are going to be merely handed to anyone because at 19 we have gotten used to having everything being handed to us without having to struggle down to the core of our beings to discern our own individual Moral Sovereignty. And that strange term, our Moral Sovereignty is the real life long struggle that is gonna lead us forward through the heights of success and the depths of despair. Our Moral Sovereignty gives us the right to be spiritual beings among other spiritual beings like ourselves.

Moral Sovereignty

“I had not thought about the seriousness of what I was doing when I walked into that recruitment center. Bill Clinton was in office at the time, and his belligerency had always been confined to invading only the most obscure and irrelevant countries in the world in a dilettantish (albeit deadly) fashion. It never occurred to me when I told the recruiter that I wanted to enlist that I was essentially giving my consent to go fight in a future decade-long guerrilla war in a tribal wasteland or to go fight in an urban free-for-all in the desert.

“That’s what really troubled me when I thought about how very close I had come to joining the military; the realization that I would have had to go to war whether I thought it was just or not. I would have voluntarily put myself in a position where other people – people I had never met – would have been able to tell me when and under what circumstances I would have to board a plane or a ship to go kill other people I had never met. And to top things off, those people I had never met who would have the right to tell me when to kill were politicians – the very same slippery scoundrels I had heard lying to me with a straight face my entire life. It was truly bone chilling to realize how close I came to surrendering my moral sovereignty to people I not only didn’t know, but in whom I had no trust to begin with.

“To surrender the ability to decide when and under what circumstances a man will kill other human beings is a serious matter – one that ought not to be taken lightly or entered into as though he is signing a car lease. Indeed, the decision to kill is the most serious moral decision a man can make in his life, which is precisely why he ought not to surrender the decision to anyone under any circumstances. The decision to kill ought not to be surrendered to a man’s wife, to his mother, or to his brother – and it especially ought not to be surrendered to the most mendacious creatures to walk the face of the Earth: politicians. If a man finds himself in a position where he must kill in order to protect himself or his family, he will know what decision he must make, but to kill other human beings just because a politician says so is the height of moral recklessness and irresponsibility.”

It is one thing to grasp slowly the power of Time and the unfolding of Time in ourselves and everyone else, but it is even more critical and imperative to locate the typical and powerful experiences that surround each and every soul as they encounter for the first time, in their own lives, the details and forces that swamp our emotions and rush to rob us of our Moral Sovereignty. Knowing what robs us of our Moral Sovereignty and knowing what it feels like when we have been touched by the Moral Sovereignty at the core of our I AM, at the core of our immortal soul, is learning to cherish shattering, and illuminating inner certainty. This is what our Angel and Higher Being grants us for reclaiming ourselves as Spiritual Beings on the Physical plane.

We derive great pleasure from experiencing the emotional exhilaration of highs and lows on our own little emotional adolescent roller coasters. This constant dysfunctional drama appears to us to be the essence of life. The Big Bong game. Everyone who thrives on being the center of their own and others emotional drama, constantly attract more and more crisis to their being and they become addicted to needing constant depressions and elations just to feel alive and not bored, all the while dragging everyone else into their self created storm tornadoes orbit. We become self-proclaimed petty drama queens requiring constant attention to fill our emptiness.

At this point we see everyone around us who live for the gossip, the trivia, feeding like swollen vampires on the Main Stream Media circus and current trendy comic horror shows and developing cults of fan worship because they cannot find their own Moral Sovereignty and their own moral compass so they suck off pre-packaged pulp fictions.

We certainly have not been schooled in the reality of how our own Angel’s hover over this delicate period between 18 and 21 because they are on assignment to us, and work in conjunction with and for our higher beings and our star. The very Moon that we carry with us as part of our own biology and biographies, triggers the gateway open at approximately 19 years of age for an intimate meeting. Nobody ever bothered to tell you that there is such a thing as a window into the Angelic world, that opens for a brief period in this age range and opens again and again every 18.6 to 19 years through our entire life path did they?

The Moon Node is the point where the Moon intersects the path of the Sun. Every month the Moon crosses the path of the Sun once on the way up-North Node and once on the way down-South Node. It takes about 18½ years for the Moon Node to return to its birth position. Rudolf Steiner stated that the days and especially the nights around the Moon Node return are the most important ones of our life and that at this time there is a thinning of the vale between the physical and spiritual world.

At 18.6 years our lives have now truly begun and we love to play catch up with how we daringly dive into new emotional and physical challenges and how we extricate or blame everyone else and circumstances when we can’t extricate ourselves from events and are forced to face jail time or having killed someone in a highway accident or got someone pregnant or ended up in a strange country with our limbs blown off, all may or may not happen, but our own uncharted emotional centers have certainly steered us into this. Because we had never heard, never even comprehended such a Freedom nor a complicated concept such as our individual Moral Sovereignty. We could never have guessed that Moral Sovereignty is the central core to the ongoing riddle of Freedom and our Angels.

At the core of the soul is a still eye in the storm that can hear and can listen and can comprehend when suddenly there is some sense of great compassion that seems to well up from nowhere, when suddenly we hear some depth and wisdom in our midst though everyone mocks it. We seem like utter fools if we attempt to follow the path of sincerity against the callousness of the petty cliques of our precarious popularity. Do we know what a true friend really is?

Our normal reaction to any stumbling attempts at truth or depth would be self mockery and envelop ourselves and others in the dumb dull dead zone where everything is mere trivia and tweets and truth is not allowed in to spoil the party. We are in the habit of dealing out sarcasm because it is beyond rare to have anyone insist or see in such delicate ideal moments, a whispered hint from our own Angels who have carried us through countless incarnations through our progress on earth.

Such whispered deep regions of the soul are tender and uncomfortable but we seek them in our most intimate and tender moments in our lovers eyes. Yet it is all around us, from children to the aged, these tender waves of endearments. They float everywhere in around and through us, but we can’t recognize them because they aren’t always tagged and redirected to our own petty selfish gratifications.

Human love and grace burble up and gurgle out everywhere like leaks in a sponge when you press the water out. We just fail to admire it and live for it and cherish it when we see it. Our Angels have such inexhaustible nurturing forces all around them and they stream it towards us at all times.

What it really means, this culmination up to our 19th year and every 19 years on into the future, our thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years reveals something you were never ever taught to recognize or gain any firm educational insight from. The sad educational reality is that none of those around you ever bothered to search deep enough or grasp human life with the depth of truth and sincerity required for glimpses into how our human biography has clear foundational and literal starry patterns woven into it.

Patrick Swayze gives a very stark example for us to remember his destiny by because from The nineteenth, to the thirty-eighth, and finally to his tragic death at fifty-seven years Patrick Swayze hit every mark the moon and our Angel has to offer. At 19 Patrick met the woman he would love for his entire life, until his death, all through the Hollywood romps and mayhem, Lisa Niemi. At 19 that unique person from which mighty love stories are crafted came into Swayze’s life.

In 1990 the eternal love story, the film, “Ghost” is released and Patrick made the film in his thirty-eighth year. This is the middle of his destiny. Patrick is given three Angelic windows. At the middle window of his incarnation, he makes the potently directed higher spiritual message film, “Ghost”. This mid-point opens vast opportunities and also reveals the amazing biographical forces that cut short his life at fifty-seven years of age.

At each point Patrick met with potent forces of love in the depths of the world. At 19 the love of his life; At 38 a powerful Angelic tale, about the higher love that exists in TIME; At 57 he closes the brilliant illumination he shed that allowed him to reveal some of the secrets people refuse to even contemplate, but our Angels certainly contemplate. That is that there is a Life after death and that human beings are immortal, eternal beings who participate in vast complex layers of reality along with our Angels. Our Angels live in the direct biographical score and symphony of our destinies. They are the ones that allow the invisible to surface up from the depths of our being. This is not taught in school. These things are not prepared or outlined for our immature comprehension, so we stumble blindly into destiny events that with any amount of understood preparation or illumination, may have given us clearer choices.

Carl Jung went through a region of his psyche that normal people and education are terrified to admit exists. All that Jung experienced privately he hid in a book called his Red Book. Jung entered this dark forest at his second Moon node, at 38 years old. “…in 1913, Jung, who was then 38, got lost in the soup of his own psyche. He was haunted by troubling visions and heard inner voices. Grappling with the horror of some of what he saw, he worried in moments that he was, in his own words, “menaced by a psychosis” or “doing a schizophrenia.” Finally this hidden RED BOOK of Carl Jung’s is about to be published. Where we can see clearly that below the surface of psychology there is a vast spiritual part of our nature which is never addressed. Carl Jung was called into this region by his own higher nature. If he was to stand before humanity and pursue the depth of spiritual experiences, his Angel let him have a few to see how he felt about it. The infamous RED BOOK of Jung’s reveals vast unexplored areas of the human psyche.

Emanuel Swedenborg 1688 to 1772 was a brilliant scientist until his 57th year. “His studies of man in works on the animal kingdom, the human brain, and psychology were published before 1747, when he resigned his post and gave himself to the contemplation of spiritual matters, especially to the work of making clear to mankind the true inner doctrines of the divine Word as he claimed that they were revealed to him by direct insight into the spiritual world after “heaven was opened” to him in 1745. Visions and communication with spirits and angels…” Here Swedenborg leaps into a totally different world of insight after having made a brilliant and solid reputation for himself in the non-mystical sciences. Swedenborg has all his windows thrown open at the time of his 57th year. The latent forces of his inner biography burst forth and turned this sober and down to earth thinker and practical scientist into a human being who talked directly to the Angels in the planetary spheres.

Exceptions to the Rule

Joan of Arc was 19 years old when she was burned at the stake. ” at her execution in Rouen, France she was 19. Her life dates were 1412-1431.”  Grasping something clearly in biography is understanding exactly when Joan of Arc was absorbed into the arms of her Angelic companions at the age of 19. In Joan of Arc’s case, we can clearly examine that Joan of Arc experienced the mighty forces of her spiritual mission with France, as a preliminary reality in the womb of her mother where Joan experienced the Holy Nights, just before she was born on Jan 6, Epiphany.

This is the exception to the rule, please don’t try this at home kids, it still meant that the Angelic world, which we encounter in slow biographical rhythms, was in Joan of Arc’s case brought to a 19 years on Earth conclusion in a fiery process that was laced with all of the deceptions and torments and lies that would normally have to be faced in the length of the entire biography.  Joan of Arc met all of them in one fell swoop, in a deed that served the Archangels and every future soul who would speak the French language who were yet unborn but destined to experience karma in France, all this was placed on a young girl’s shoulders by 19.  This was a unique and special circumstance brought about in cooperation between the Etheric Christ and Michael the Archangel. This is the reverse of that which is the normal pattern of biography and cannot be sought abstractly but must come about due to divine intentions placed into an individual soul.

So in order to think through the difference in a normal biography, Joan’s biography presents us with a  reversal of arriving at 19 and completing a powerful merging with one’s Angel. In an abnormal sense, Joan of Arc arrived at 19 and finished and completed her spiritual task in life. This differs from the normal biographical patterning where we start our ripening and maturing process, our individualization, at 19 and continue at intervals of  our thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years.

Joan completed and was embraced by her Angel and the Angelic world in a horrific and a mighty fire process of the Soul and Spirit.  The difference is that Joan of Arc was already destined, prepared, and  had chosen to intervene and do something that changed the entire Language and Archangel community and was spear headed by the Archangel Michael to penetrate the specific will substance of Joan of Arc.

Yet from our first baby teeth, to acquiring our own first grader teeth, to later when we gain puberty, all along the path, our biology and our intimate stars unfold our biographies until we approach our first moon node at approximately 18/19 years. We all follow the same rhythm patterns through the years and the only difference is to what depth and what self understanding we are able to grasp the lessons that we are being handed. The rule is that we have sought all the lessons that will come towards us. We have sought these very unique events that will impact us at specific moments in time.

These Moon incursions where our Angels come close to us, have long since disappeared from even a snickering of lip service. Nobody cares. Materialism rules and the science of ourselves as Spiritual Beings along with our higher family, the Angel community, has vanished from any sincere considerations.

Every 19 years our own little personal windows open up “…reflecting the synchrony between cosmic patterns and the rhythms active in the unconscious self. Thus the outer cosmos is synchronized with one’s own time organism, which was karmically composed during one’s pre-birth descent through the spirit and soul worlds. We can therefore expect such points to be strongly flavored by our karmic purposes.

“Moon nodes are points where the future breaks into the present; they can be quite dramatic….. A glance at the span between 18 and 19 shows that many young people experience a breakthrough – the meeting of an idea, or ideal, or special person – or experience a loss. The first complete node may well reveal the emergence of an altered sense of self that is a higher octave…” of the soul than previously experienced in our normal family settings.

Now for a typical experience of where we stand as we come through the Angel oracle of our 19th to 21st year, we stand at the threshold of becoming university students and pressured from all points including from within ourselves to make something of ourselves or fall into our own 24 hour stupid stupor of fun and frolic like we never had before.

One of the brief best challenges to this segment of life is the film, “Lions for Lambs“. Yes force yourself to really recognize the real stern challenges and choices that will now propel you into your untracked and untapped life and before you have even managed to recover from your 12th hangover in a month, you will find that life and destiny and your stupor will propel you toward the dawn of your character.

Disposing of our character and hiding in the herd are presented in “Lions for Lambs” by a significant teacher played by Robert Redford. Look at the experiences presented in this film very carefully because the sobering truths are part of our standard Rites of Passage during this portion of our biographies.

“There are two primary arguments that are being debated in the film. Argument A is presented by Senator Jasper Irving (played by Tom Cruise) who wants to initiate a new plan of long term sustainability in the Middle East with the highly visible American troops lingering around. The experienced television journalist Janine Roth (played by Meryl Streep) compares his plan to that of the Roman Empire, but he disagrees with her assessment.

“Argument B is presented by collegiate professor Dr. Stephen Malley who is trying to convince an underachieving student that the future of the country rests in the hands of the next generation. In his argument he presents the true fact that a large portion of the volunteers that join the ranks of the American military are recruits from the lower economic classes and the American ghettos. Within the same breath he points out the fact of complacency from the privileged youth, such as the underachieving student, who feels comfortable with his current status in life and doesn’t feel obliged to take a strong stand for his personal beliefs. In both arguments there are two players who are either arguing for his or her side or trying to disprove the argument of their opponent.”

Hierarchical Rank Domain
Angels – Individuals
Archangels – Folk
Archai – Time Periods
Exusiai and above – Forces and Kingdoms of Nature

The Nineteen-Year Cycle

“The 19-year cycle can also be extremely significant. The nineteenth, thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years bring to many individuals challenges of reorientation of their outlook on life and of their responses to basic factors in their personality. The Moon’s nodes’ cycle lasts 18.6 years and the Metonic cycle of New Moons’ recurrence at the same point of the zodiac lasts 19 years; thus, the close of the nineteenth, thirty-eighth, etc., years is crucial in terms of the soli-lunar factors — that is, of the basic direction of the flow of life energies.”

Ages 9-Fold Being Planet Characteristics Outer Manifestations
0-7 Physical body Moon Will Change of Teeth
7-14 Etheric body Mercury Intelligence Puberty
14-21 Astral body Venus Love Adulthood
21-28 Sentient Soul \
28-35 Intelligence Soul — Sun Selfhood (Ego)
35-42 Consciousness Soul /
42-49 Spirit Self Mars Speech
49-56 Life Spirit Jupiter Thought
56-63 Spirit Man Saturn Memory

Nobody expects anyone to easily digest the reality that there is a profound pattern underlying the biographical events of our lives. Certainly at 19 we have had hardly one impressive parent, guardian or friend who opened for us any kind of curious preparation for our unfolding life path.

The fact is, that we probably wouldn’t have listened anyways even if someone or some event had given us a clue. The fact that from every different direction in education no one ever sets the foundations of a vast ordered and deep universe around us that is not some arbitrary alien zone of god awful accidents and lunacy, is the ultimate testimony to the shallowness and cowardliness of the entire educational system.

At 19 rebellion is in order. And we have had no training in understanding and hearing just exactly what we are listening for or exactly what we have a full right to rebel against. But it certainly has to do with society robbing us of the Moral Sovereignty of our rights as Spiritual Beings, because education by and large basically forces that idea clean out of the curriculum.

We are listening inside the deeds, words, thoughts, emotions for that window that opens our souls up. We partially don’t even believe that any soul opens up and that there is no opening up of the intimacies of the soul because there is no soul.

We get a kick, and a high out of winning, or playing fast paced computer games, but this is not where the intersection of insight and intuition opens the soul up. Sometimes it is a friend or lover, where we feel a tug here or there, but the soul and our direct mainline to our intuition, where thinking, emotion and love tag us, is a capacity that has been allowed to stagnate and suffocate in materialism.

But the jumbled together nonsense of facts and materialism and our sexual drives, are only a small sliver of the whole disordered mess we call our society. Yet we are each of us a unique pivotal portion of the whole development of humanity at large and in particular, the living and loving center of our Angel’s deepest concern.

The time is out of joint—O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

We sit, walk, dance, eat, sleep and fart in a potently organized system that includes life after death, reincarnation and a whole new lesson plan that is woven into our very own bodies and biographies. We feel like a mere mass of raw jangling nerves and mood swings, zipping and buzzing flies like thoughts whip through us smelling the dead meat of what education has filled us with.

In the vast world there is a foundational brilliant and encompassing system. We are the chaotic cores that have never been given the navigational maps, nor pointed to what the Freedom of our thinking and Moral Sovereignty means to the gods themselves.

Instead we are given sitcom and media generated immortal vampires, super heroes and historical jumbled lies, that serve the constant brainwashed masses, instead of legitimacy of our own Angels and our own precise biographical indicators. We are tasked to make order out of this mental and emotional turbulence and find our own center of gravity and our own Moral Sovereignty in this tangled chaotic mess of fumbling and failed human frailties. And we are further tasked to find the clues that restore our own spiritual compass.

Our intuition and our spiritual compass, which is part of the package of our TWELVE Cranial Nerves, our pineal gland and our hearts, will serve us to feel our way along precipices and strange paths that have never been trodden, because they are our own unique paths that only we may trod.

Gradually in the silence of the center of our intuition and our Moral Sovereignty we are faced always with the tangible character and texture of choices laced with nuances and laced with potent soul poisoning demons. We are faced with choices laced with potent awakenings to the hearts of others and mostly to the potent ability in ourselves to look into the abyss and complexity of issues to see our own profound souls reflected in the ever changing pool and swirl of both the sucking whirlpool and the illuminating calm clarity of our Angels Eyes

Today Angel A went back home. Ron saw her off to the train. These days were cold and rainy, so we took cold. Many things were wrong, but I don’t want to mention it ’cause I just don’t want. She was there, warm and loving, and that was great. Just to sleep next to the friend that cares for you, to walk, to talk, to be. I finally gave her one thing she chose, and I’m really glad if she truely like it.

Yesterday there were Angel A, Solvejg, Alucard, Misora and me. We sang, I mean me and Solv, and others listened to us. That was actually the first time we sang together and we both know that we should practise. But we finally did it!

Angel-A

“O que conta é o que está no interior, não o exterior.” Luc Besson

Dizem que o ser humano é diariamente acompanhado por três anjos: dois bons e um mau.
Depois de assistir ao filme Angel-A tente descobrir qual dois três é que se materializa para ajudar o personagem encrencado.

Angel-A é um roteiro surpreendente e instigante mostrando os dois lados de uma mesma moeda, ou cara e coroa, corpo e alma, dois em um, de Luc Besson que também é o responsável pela direção e produção. É a história de André, um rapaz de 28 anos totalmente endividado e por isso é perseguido por perigosíssimos gângsteres que lhes dá um prazo mínimo de algumas horas apenas para quitar a alta dívida, caso contrário, ele sofrerá terríveis conseqüências.

André se vê sem saída, e seu desespero é infinito. A solução que ele encontra é o suicídio. Quando está preste a pular de uma das mais altas pontes de Paris, ele se depara com uma linda mulher, alta, loira, aos prantos e muito triste, também com a mesma intenção de deixar de viver.

A presença dessa misteriosa moça atrai a atenção de André, que a todo custo tenta convencê-la que isso que ela pretende fazer é loucura que não vale a pena. Há um jogo de palavras interessante entre eles, dando a entender que ambos são a mesma pessoa.
Ela acaba pulando e ele, ironia do destino, acaba resgatando-a e a salva do afogamento.

André e essa misteriosa mulher descobrem que têm muito mais coisas em comum, além da tentativa de suicídio, e vão se conhecendo aos poucos. Ela passa a segui-lo, na tentativa de ajudá-lo a mudar sua vida. Decide retribuir a ajuda de seu salvador. Os dois passam a noite tentando resolver seus problemas, além de um mistério que os cerca. Ele lhe conta que deve dinheiro a Deus e ao mundo e que esse era o motivo do seu desespero. Bem, ele precisava de um anjo. E Angel-A caiu do céu no momento certo.

CREDITOS

Título Original: Angel-A

That was rather lovely day nonetheless. I had an endorphins emission in my blood ’cause of the feeling of flight, I finally could rock on a swing! It seems that that’s quite good substitute of sex…

Angel A arrived. I missed her so much. Hope I’ll see her soon and now I finally could talk with her… even if she as always doesn’t answer on a half of questions… I’m so happy to hear her!

We, me and Solvejg, decided to try our forces in singing on the animefest. I fear that it could turn out like my attempt in March… I’m talking about myself. I don’t feel assertiveness at all… Thanks to Light and Mycroft after all. We’ll sing Anna Tsuchiya – Rose.

At times we fall but a disaster is when we can’t rise again… It seems that people beside me got me up but over and over again I feel like I’m tripped up. I want to beat my head against the wall… And that’s the less I can want now. I’m misled. My head is swimming, my heart is crying and my eyes… but does it matter anymore. Or anyway. I even don’t have rum to get drunk. I… I need Angel A to quiet me. Even a bit… I feel myself so feeble that at times I just want to stop fighting with this world and… surrender. Never mind. Just thoughts of a exhausted woman without a strong man beside her.

I want to smoke… Merlin how do I want to smoke… I guessed if it is a lack of nicotine or something else but it looks more like that the real reason is Carrie that always smokes…

I’m staying alone under streams of cold rain… That’s what I feel like. My soul, my heart aches. But does it matter anymore… I’m listening to the French radio. It is something strange but adorable in the same time… I feel pain. Even if covered with all the care of them… It is. Just…

Mycroft fell in depression. Things go not as one would like to be… And the summer slowly ends… I’m sad. We both, actually…

9th…

It is strange but I’m peaceful like if there were someone carefully embracing me. Afler all this haze in mind, irritation and agony I finally feel calm and rather safe. Who knows why… Who knows if that is what I need, but sure now I can rest a bit… my wounded soul can rest… And I finally can smile. My friends gave me what you had stolen… でもすきだよいぜん.

My journey to the Moscow was plain of jokes. Like “Jack… I like so much your… compas” or “Veeel… your presence in my bed makes me very glad” )) That was Angel A, jasmine, the rain, the sun and many impressions. I met one nice goth of Angel’s friends, Pansy and her friend, to my wonder, and Light-kun. We drank rum, eat sushi and walked on the Arbat. That was a fountain with a pure water, many many books, Enya, plastic dancer and a cheerful mood. Certainly I wanted to say much more but as always ) I drew sleeping Angel, saw Faith and talked talked talked… And a white rose that Angel gave to my majesty is still staying in my room ) These days were a bit of a forgotten feeling of happyness )

P.S.
And yeah, the rum is gone(

I am usually taken  by Luc Besson’s movies. Angel-A  - colours, music & play – in perfect sync. When desperate for miracles, miracles do happen … Re-enchanting Angel-A re-spotted.

It’s nearly midnight… I went for a walk. It is strange, but with a blow of the night-smelled wind I had for a while a wish to live. It is something odd in my case, but I know why I felt that… And I’m not going to write it here. Yes, I feel better than last night. No, it isn’t a remission, Angel A. If I would explain, you will understand, but I’m so tired of endless explanations that I’m not inclined to do that. I don’t want to write anything here still, prefering keep all in my head; maybe I would close my diary at all, but I think I won’t do that. And I don’t want to see anyone still except one you know further.

Yesterday I was on the market that was closed for reconstruction. It is so enchanting, like films about 19th century american cities that got stuck in the time. Silence… and desolation… I at once invented a story about, but Mycroft stopped me afraid of my words.

I realized that I like smell of rails under the sun. Mycroft said that it’s normal for a pirate to like smell of heated iron and mazut. Actually I always liked that smell.

That’s maybe horrible but I want to cosplay Cesare Borgia ’cause he’s extremely nice in manga I read. After all I remembered that when I was a child my favourite musician was Vivaldi. I don’t know why I find it amusing.

And I want Absinth…

There’s so cold… I feel cold… I’m freezing… Sorry, Angel… I know you want me breathe… breathe with you as there’s nobody to ask me the same… except Mycroft and few people that want me be alive… But your love is not enough to warm me. You’re my friend… And you know that very well.

I see the sun and it hurts me. It isn’t ’cause I don’t like the sun… It’s ’cause the sun is you. Everything is you… I’m falling nowhere. And it is very cold nowhere…

For the last of the three-part film history series, we went through modern filmmaking in a flash of a variety of genres, country-specific filmmaking and form spanning from Andy Warhol to video art. We had to sign up for “film notes” and in groups, write about a certain aspect of a particular film. Whether it be cinematography, editing, acting…whatever. I loved this film so much and was excited to participate in film notes for this Luc Besson masterpiece.

Film Notes: cinematography – camera movement, angles and lighting

Angel-A, Luc Besson, 2005

The use of various cinematographic techniques in Angel-A are very specific to the genre of filmmaking this particular film falls into, Cinéma du look. The camera movement throughout the environment of the Paris setting gets as much out of the city’s architectural beauty as possible. In order to accomplish this, the camera takes extreme long shots of the characters as they make their way throughout the city. Even when both Angel-A and André are static and are having intimate conversations, many of these moments are captured in establishing shot fashion. The camera sits far, far away and centers the two characters as small, arm flailing and gesticulating creatures in the middle of the frame. It is convenient, and probably purposefully done, that many of the events take place on the cobblestone, Parisian streets and amongst a mélange of key areas of French culture. From the train station to Sacré-Cœur to the ever-present Eiffel Tower, the film could pass as a tour video if not intended for greater and better things.

Another key area of cinematography employed by this Cinéma du look film is in the mode of camera angles, which is important because of the height difference between Angel-A and André. It may be somewhat ridiculous that Angel-A is so much taller than André but the camera angles that follow their interaction serve to establish a relationship for the two. In their first meeting and discussion, we have a high angle from Angel-A’s perspective as she’s talking to André and a low angle from André’s perspective when he’s talking to Angel-A. This establishes a hierarchical leveling between the two and is seen in how Angel-A is more capable of taking care of André’s problem than he is capable of taking care of them himself. When Angel-A forces André to admit that he loves himself in the mirror, the camera is dead steady on both of them, showing that she has come down to his level to assess him problem.

Lighting is also key here since the film is shot in black and white. When colors are limited to whites, blacks and inevitable grays, lighting contrasts are more readily seen. Angel-A is done entirely in black and white and with this, contrasts of color play on the ideas of theme and character development throughout the film. While it is shot in black and white, the colors are still deep blacks and deep whites, entirely saturated and prominent. Angel-A’s dress is dark black and her hair is bright white, for example, which exemplifies the idea that there is some sort of dichotomy in her very being. This also goes for the beauty of each frame as the entire movie’s film stock could serve as individual still images because of how intense the black and white create contrast throughout the entire film.

I don’t like holidays. I can’t feel happiness. I don’t know why. After a holiday I always feel an emptiness… A bitter emptiness. Like I was expecting something that didn’t happen. You said that you’ll do everything to make me feel happy… I suggest that it is what I expect every holiday. A missing feeling of happiness… 

Yeasterday I finally got drunk. And I miss Angel A…

Lucia gave me three volumes of manga Petshop of Horrors. I was stunned and cheered. That was unexpectedly. And Mycroft brought me a rose-white lily. Beautiful…

Tonight I met Angel A. I was glad to see her as she was. Actually, there was an accident on the street. Some drunk lad embraced me with a tendency to molest me (yes, I’m goth and what?) but girls immediately protected me and got rid of these guys.

It’s snowing this morning… Many angels are flying in the sky…

I’m lost in myself like Alucard. No it’s not like Alucard at all. But I can’t realize myself… I don’t know what it is. I extremely need to see Angel A… to remember what I am.

I’ll be always hidden by the light of bigger stars… Such a sensation. Now I can breathe calm, I knew that I can’t do something well… That’s another proving. That was fool of me to try. My mind is always my mind and not my abilities.

Angel-A is a 2005 film from Luc Besson, director of La Femme Nikita, The Professional, and The Fifth Element. This black-and-white film follows the story of a young Parisian (played by Jamel Debbouze, the fruit stand worker in Amelie) as he tries to pay off his debtors with the help of a new acquaintance.

This film is self-contained and very narrow in scope, which makes it easy to follow and keep its focus. It’s highlighted by mostly dialogue and a few fantastic (as in fantasy-based) moments thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, the film as a whole doesn’t work. I can’t quite place it, but after I finished it I wasn’t convinced that it was all it could have been. The ending in particular could have gone in several different directions, and the one they chose is the safest, most boring option available.

This film is available as a Netflix insta-watch, but unless you’re a Luc Besson completionist, I would say that you can skip this one.