“Suspiria” is the psychedelic horror story of a young American girl named Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) who transfers to a prestigious German ballet school that holds a dark ulterior motive, darker than teaching ballet to both boys and girls.

Suzy arrives in Germany

The movie begins with Suzie at the airport, arriving in Munich. As she approaches the automated exit, the theme music of the film starts to play lightly over the mise-en-scene.

In the first of several subliminal messages, a poster on the side of the doors read “Black Forest”, hinting that is for her, is what indeed lies beyond. The hydraulics of the doors open and close in close up, signifying she has gone through a rabbit hole that closed shut to reality leaving her alone and lost in Wonderland. The storm she encounters in the cool night air drenches her in darkness and rain as if the sinister nature  of the magical atmosphere itself has physically manifested itself to cover her in its trappings.  Hailing a cab Suzie realizes she’s not in Kansas anymore, or indeed Oz for that matter. A few cabs pass her by until she is able to flag one down. Getting into the cab, she and the viewer are driven to the Academy.

It's been raining for about half an hour.

Argento covers this scene in beautiful light and uses the theme music of the film to its ultimate effect. The tone of the film is masterfully set and the viewer is hooked in less than five minutes. What is perhaps the best opening scene of a horror movie ever is only amplified by what Entertainment Weekly calls “the most vicious murder scene ever filmed”.  Suzie decides to play Nancy Drew and solve the mystery of the murdered girls which only plunges her deeper into the underbelly of the witches coven.

Where the fuck is all this blue light coming from?!?!?!

“Suspiria” is the first of director Dario Argento’s loosely connected “Three Mother’s Trilogy” and EASILY the best of them by a landslide (or if you prefer, country mile).  Dario Argento, is called “the Maestro of horror” (but so is his predecessor, Mario Bava) for his inventive use of the camera and elaborate murder scenes. Indeed, when watching his films one gets the feeling that Argento finds the plot of films to come second to the visual (visceral?) experience. While this is usually a flaw in Argento’s other movies, it works in favor of this film.  “Suspiria” stands as a testament to the fact that Dario Argento is at his best when he could completely care less about the plot.  His visualization of a dark fairy tale that could only be experienced during REM (not the band) is an assault on all senses except taste. This was the last film printed in Technicolor and is all the greater for it. The film is bathed in primary gel colors throughout, giving it a heightened, very stylized look.   Some critics of the film cite the excessive use of lighting as a stumbling block in their enjoyment.  Be that as it may, the entire movie has a surreal edge that is enhanced by the lighting and it keeps the viewer reminded that we are in a world of very dark fantasy.  Indeed, there is no other way the film could work as it’s points of inspiration are witchcraft,  classic Disney films “Sleeping Beauty“, “Fantasia” and “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs“, and finally  Thomas De Quincey’s “Confessions of an English Opium Eater“.  The latter novel is where Argento got the ideas for the “Three Mothers”, of the series.  The three mothers exist solely to cause pain and misery to feed from.  The number of them signifies that they are like the “fates” or “graces”.  Their names are:   Mater Lacrymarum, Our Lady of Tears,” “Mater Suspiriorum, Our Lady of Sighs,” and “Mater Tenebrarum, Our Lady of Darkness”.   While “Suspiria” can be viewed as a stand-alone film, the sequels delve more into this mythology but never enough to make the films feel truly connected.

Setting out to assail the viewer audio visually, Argento is helped in the latter by Italian rock band “Goblin”. The infamous score to “Suspiria” is one of the key components to its atmosphere. The main theme itself is an inverted version of  ”Jesus Loves Me” giving a feeling of Satanic presence lurking in the background. This is one of the before mentioned subliminal touches that adds a menacing and palatable sense of the evil in the film, an evil that is more inferred and felt by the viewer than actually seen.

John Carpenter’s “Halloween” is famous for its opening point of view shot in which the audience spends the first 10 minutes or so in the shoes of young killer Micheal Myers. This scene makes the viewer feel somewhat complicit in the actions of Myers, and it was praised as inventive for its time. While “Halloween” is a masterpiece, Carpenter owes more than a few of his ideas to Argento (which Carpenter agrees with on his films commentary track). Many of the scenes in “Suspiria” feels as though they are taking place through the viewpoint from an unseen watcher…a malignant spiritual force that is able to see everything that goes on and destroy anyone who gets in the way of the coven. This is a horror film, so you want good kills, and you get it. The evil in the film kills its characters brutally and efficiently. To tell you about the deaths would be to spoil them, but I will say that the scene where a character falls into a room full of razor wire still jars me to this day.

Nair would have worked for her better.

I realize I have gushed about this film and overpraised it for the past hour now. I saw the film for the first time on VHS about 9 years ago and I did not like it. The film transfer looked like it was filmed on the same blurry stock as soap operas. However, some scenes and pieces of music stayed in my head for years afterwords, so I saw the film on DVD, remastered in glorious THX. I was floored by how much more the film improved by the vibrant colors, colors that had been washed out and muddled in my first viewing. After that, I fell in love with this piece of pop-art, subliminal, surreal, horror movie history.   Its sequels “Inferno” and “Mother of Tears“, which focus on characters running a foul of the two remaining “mothers”, are a mixed bag.  “Inferno” tries to duplicate the magic and feeling of the first and while coming close it ultimately comes up short. There is one scene filmed in a room underwater that is quite amazing and so is the and reveal of the second Mother in the films climax.  “Mother of Tears“, made some 20 years after “Inferno” is the weakest of the series. Argento abandons the surreal stylization of the previous two entries in the series for a more naturalistic style, and I believe it is one of the many faults of the film. Though it is interesting and ties the whole series together it was not worth the 20+ year of waiting horror aficionados had for it.

Sadly, “Suspiria” is one of the next films on the remake block. While I think it is possible to remake the film in the right hands, the current trend of horror remakes leaves me with little to no hope that it will actually be done right.  Also with societies current fixation on certain fictional school for witches, they may try to focus on the plot of the film rather than the feelings the original provokes.  To end this on a slightly less depressing note, here is a fan made poster for the remake by someone who gets what the spirit of the film is:

One of the best fan made posters in existence.

I don’t think anything will top the Most Beautiful TV News Women of 2008 blog, but this’ll have to do for now.

So this is my list of the 20 most attractive actresses in movies.   I list them as the most “attractive” instead of “beautiful,” because though most of them are beautiful, “attractive” implies personality traits and other intangibles.  The roles are also important, though this isn’t a list of great actresses – it’s a list of the most attractive women in my opinion based on their roles in these movies.  So it’s sort of more the character than the person, since obviously I don’t know them.

Without going through the whole list, this competition was over before it began.  Linda Hamilton has the nice girl, innocent look in “Terminator” and she shows she has a lot of heart.  Then in “Terminator II” she becomes a bad ass.  Franka Potente in “Bourne Identity” has moxie and style.  If I had just seen her without her being in the role, she might not make the top 100, but she is pretty phenomenal in the role of Marie.

Sometimes it’s a particular scene that leaves the impression, like when Sigourney Weaver is possessed by a ghost in “Ghostbusters,” or when Phoebe Cates walks by the pool in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” with an assist by the song “Moving in Stereo” by the Cars (one of the most underappreciated rock bands of all time).  Then there’s the woman as authority figure, like P.J. Soles who played an MP in “Stripes,” a variation on the teacher theme.  In “Silver Streak,” Jill Clayburgh looked wholesome; in “Basic Instinct” Sharon Stone did not.

Back before older women were called cougars, you had Jacqueline Bisset (“Class”), Anne Archer (“Patriot Games”) and of course, Anne Bancroft in “The Graduate,” who just edges out Katherine Ross from the same movie.  Believe it or not, Linda Fiorentino of “Vision Quest” was also an older woman although she played someone who was only 21 in the movie.  Her suitor in Vision Quest was 17.  I always thought her character was more like 25 until I saw the movie again.  Cheesy movie but great.

The mention of Sandra Bullock reminds me that I saw her twice in bars in Washington, D.C. about 10 years ago.  Each time she had her hair colored blond (or was wearing a wig) like she has it in her new movie “The Blind Side.”  It was definitely her.  Once was in Atomic Billiards in Cleveland Park.  I honestly can’t remember where the other time was.  Anyway, I went up to her to talk.   I didn’t mention anything about her looking like (or being) Sandra Bullock – just tried to talk with her but I have to say she was pretty underwhelmed.  She blew me off both times.  Then after that I told her I knew who she was.  Again, she was a little bit unimpressed.  Oh well.

So here you have it.  I’m going to add pictures later.

1. Linda Hamilton, Terminator
2. Linda Hamilton, Terminator II
3. Franka Potente, Bourne Identity and Bourne Supremacy
4. P.J. Soles, Stripes
5. Jacqueline Bisset, Class
6. Sigourney Weaver, Ghostbusters
7. Jill Clayburgh, Silver Streak
8. Linda Fiorentino, Vision Quest
9. Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct
10. Anne Bancroft, The Graduate
11. Katherine Ross, The Graduate
12. Anne Archer, Patriot Games
13. Julia Roberts, Ocean’s Eleven
14. Sandra Bullock, Speed
15. Lucy Liu, Charlie’s Angels
16. Jessica Lange, King Kong
17. Debra Winger, Officer and a Gentleman
18. Halle Berry, Swordfish
19. Robin Wright Penn, Forrest Gump
20. Ashley Judd, Double Jeopardy
21. Phoebe Cates, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Honorable Mention:  Lynda Carter.  I know she was a TV actress and hardly did any movies, but I had to include her on the list. She can occasionally be spotted in Bethesda, MD and looks as great as ever.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ve missed a ton of attractive actresses but this is the list.  It was almost a year ago that I did the list of the most beautiful newswomen of 2008, and that blog entry has gotten more traffic than all my other blog posts combined.

So as I put this one up, and the previous one just below this, part of the hope is that more people will read the other parts of my blog that deal with www.mikeneedsakidney.com, which by the way, isn’t just for me but is designed to raise awareness for all people who need kidneys.  While I’m on the topic, check out the song that the Dirtbags, the Redskins Appreciation Club band did for me.

     Don’t Bother to Knock is a lesser known noir from 1952, though it does have some major names attached to it. The leading roles go to noir veteran Richard Widmark as Jed Towers (great name); Anne Bancroft in her first film role is Jed’s off again, on again lady Lyn Lesley and the incredible looking Marilyn Monroe plays the mixed up Nell Forbes. In addition, to the stars, the supporting case also has some noir heavyweights, including Elisha Cook Jr. (is there a film noir that doesn’t have him somewhere in the cast) as well as Jim Backus and Willis Bouchey. Also included in the cast is the sister of James Cagney, Jeanne Cagney.

     The film is directed by Roy Ward Baker, who is not a big name in film noir, though he did direct Linda Darnell in Night Without Sleep and Robert Ryan in Inferno. The film is based upon a novel by Charlotte Armstrong and the screenplay is by Daniel Taradash. Taradash has some quality screenwriting credits, most notably From Here to Eternity for which he won an Oscar. He is also credited as one of several writers on the Bogart noir Knock on Any Door.

     Two things this film is probably most noted for: one is its attempt to highlight Marilyn Monroe as a serious actress and not just a pretty face, and two is just how concretely it illustrates mental disturbance as an illness. For the time, it was a really disturbing picture of mental illness and its self-destructiveness. Marilyn simply cannot help but ruin everything she touches.    

     The plot centers around an elevator man in a swanky hotel named Eddie (Elisha Cook Jr.) who has gotten a relative of his, Nell a job as a baby sitter. Nell is supposed to watch this little girl while her parents attend a banquet where the father (Jim Backus) gets some sort of award.

     As this is all getting set up, you see Jed Towers in the hotel drinking away his sorrows due to, of course, woman troubles. The woman is the hotel lounge singer Lyn Lesley. There is a small hint of trouble with Nell in the beginning. You can tell early on that Nell has had, at the very least, some bad luck and that Eddie is a father figure of a sort, trying to get her back on her feet.  

     While Nell is babysitting, she begins trying on the clothes and jewelry of the little girl’s mom. Nell catches the attention of Jed through the window as she twirls around in the dress and jewelry. Jed gives her a call in an attempt to get over Lyn. Nell agrees to allow Jed to come to her room with a bottle while the little girl sleeps. Jed doesn’t know that Nell is just babysitting.  

     It doesn’t take long for Jed to realize that Nell is not quite playing with a full deck and he soon tries to get himself out of the situation. Initially, he does distance himself from Nell and tries again to patch things up with Lyn, but it is a film noir and you know that he is going to get sucked into the mix in ways that are out of his control. This is when Nell really begins to crack-up.   

Noir Elements 

     Some of the more notable features of film noir are missing from this film. It is not a hard-boiled crime flick. It doesn’t have any stunning cinematography, and the chiaroscuro lighting is done with a very light hand. However, the film is most certainly a noir.

     The focus is on Marilyn and her disturbed character Nell. What really puts Don’t Bother to Knock in the category of a film noir is its depiction of cynicism, fragmentation and how deeply it delves into an unhinged world. Of the 4 main characters, there is not one who seems to be at peace with themselves or the world they live in. Also, for most of the movie, Nell, Jed and Lyn all seem to be riding along on the wings of fate. They don’t seem to have any control over what is going on with their lives. This lack of control of one’s own life is a staple of film noir.

     Don’t Bother to Knock was certainly ahead of its time when it comes to showing realistic depictions of someone on the brink of either suicide or a total meltdown. The scars on Nell’s wrists are certainly something that would have been at least a little shocking to audiences in 1952.

     Another thing film noir is noted for is snappy dialogue and there is plenty of that. Most of it coming from Widmark’s character or Joe the bartender played by Willis Bouchey. When asked by Widmark if he and his wife fight much, Joe quickly replies “Some of the time she sleeps.”

Recommendation (Spoilers) 

     Though I would not call this film a must see, it is a film that I recommend, mostly because of the excellent work of the cast.

     Marilyn is amazing to look at and she pulls off the role. Despite her voice and her naïve appeal, she still shows the evil that is within her. She is capable of anything and if it were not for the fact that it would not have made it past the censors in 1952; I would have believed that her character would have pushed that little girl right out the window. 

     The cinematography is not the best and the direction is average, but the cast is excellent and they all pull off their roles admirably. If it were not for Marilyn, you would come out of this film talking about the beauty of Anne Bancroft. If you are wowed by Marilyn and/or Richard Widmark then this certainly is must see. They are both great in this film. Widmark is not quite as good as he is in Kiss of Death or Pick up on South Street, but it is certainly a worthy effort from him.   

These famous legs don't actually belong to Anne Bancroft, but to actress Linda Gray. Uploaded by projectorhead.wordpress.com.

Beyond a memorable script, a terrific cast, a visionary director, and perfect music, some movies just happen to fully embody the Zeitgeist of its era. So it was with The Graduate, a masterful movie that perfectly captured the freedom and angst of the late 60s.

The script came courtesy of Calder Willingham and Buck Henry. Dustin Hoffman made his major movie debut, and was perfect as Benjamin Braddock, while Anne Bancroft portrayed Mrs. Robinson with the perfect blend of sultriness and ennui. It was director Mike Nichols’ second film, following the startling Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. That’s a pretty auspicious beginning. And the music of Simon and Garfunkel was expertly woven through the film, a soundtrack not just for the movie, but for the times.

Uploaded by dateacougartips.com.

I love behind-the-scenes movie trivia, so here are a couple of things about The Graduate I found interesting. Dustin Hoffman was 30 and Anne Bancroft was 36 when the movie was made, but Hoffman looked so young and Bancroft so mature that they carried off cross-generational lovers. And the legs in the famous movie poster, beyond which we see Hoffman, didn’t belong to Bancroft, but to a young model – Linda Gray, who went on to play Sue Ellen Ewing in Dallas.

The Graduate was selected as the number seven movie in the American Film Institute’s “100 Years…100 Movies” program. Two lines from the movie also are among the most famous in film history: “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” was selected as number 63 by the AFI and number 17 by Premiere magazine. And “Plastics” was the AFI’s number 42 quote.

O Ashton Kutcher avisou que ontem foi aniversário da mulher dele. E embora todo mundo pense em Ghost ou na volta dela em As Panteras, eu prefiro lembrar de GI Jane – Até o Limite da Honra.  

Sim, porque a primeira mulher a ficar careca e ainda mais bonita não foi a Carolina Dieckmann.

Não, não, minha gente!!

O nome dela é Demi Moore.

E como se isso ainda não bastasse, ela encerra uma luta com a célebre frase:

SUCK MY DICK!

PS1: A Demi ganhou injustamente o Framboesa de Ouro por esse filme. Ela é, na verdade, uma das recorditas em indicações e prêmios ”do tipo”.

PS2: Ainda por G.I. Jane, ela levou o MTV Movie Awards pela cena de luta com o Viggo.

Stifler’s mom might have made the cougar popular again, but it seems like it’s a fantasy that Hollywood’s been playing with for years.  Ralph does what he’s best at, and examines Maxim’s list of Hollywood’s Hottest Cougars with director Kevin Smith to point out the good, the bad and the naughty.

10.  Angela Basset as Stella in How Stella Got Her Groove Back
9.  Cloris Leachman as Ruth Popper in The Last Picture Show
8.  Kim Basinger as Marion Cole in Door In The Floor
7.  Susan Sarandon as Nora Baker in White Palace
6.  Mary Steenburgen as Mrs. Betty Carver in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
5.  Kim Cattrall as Samantha in Sex and the City:  The Movie
4.  Jennifer Coolidge as Stifler’s mom in American Pie
3.  Jane Seymour as Kathleen Cleary in Wedding Crashers
2. Jacqueline Bisset as Ellen Burroughs in Class
1.  Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate

Check out the clip as Ralph explains the reasoning behind some of the picks and defends others.

Who has the #55 quote on AFI 100 Movie Quotes list?  Answer:  Diane Keaton from the movie Annie Hall.   Of her four Academy Award nominations, that is the role that won her the statue beating out Anne Bancroft, Shirley MacLaine and Marsha Mason.

I am getting ready for my interview with Diane this Friday and I want to make sure I can ask something better than “Where did you get that hat?”

Last night I watched The Godfather.  Today Annie Hall.  Tonight Marvin’s Room and maybe Reds.  If I have time, I’ll pop in GF II and III.  She has had quite the career…

The Graduate often appears near the top of many ‘all-time’ lists, especially among US cinephiles. On the other hand, it also attracts the odd backlash from those who claim it’s tonally incoherent and over-rated as a portrait of disillusioned rebellious American Youth.

What I Reckon is that while I can easily understand it not flawless, I think its a brilliant film that has relevance today for anyone who has done what they’re told, but somehow just wants to get off that merry-go-round…

Please note this review contains spoilers throughout…

This Mike Nichols film from 1967 is usually billed as a comedy, but from the opening shots we’re immediately aware this is not a run-of-the-mill example of the genre. Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) travels silently, stony-faced, through an airport, accompanied by Art Garfunkel’s angelic, haunting voice singing “Hello darkness my old friend…” For much of the title sequence, Benjamin is cropped out of the frame. He returns home with barely a word spoken. Slapstick this is not.

The first half of the film is all about alienation and a complete breakdown of communication within the apparent American Dream. Ben is frequently sullen and silent, either hiding from or cut off from the world: in a diving suit, underwater in the gorgeously blue swimming pool, behind dark glasses, even when he and Elaine retreat beneath the roof of his car, withdrawing from the noise of the outside world. Indeed, even when Benjamin pursues Elaine to Berkeley, we see him sat still while everyone else rushes around him, or later being shut out of her classroom in the silent, empty hallway.

Conversations are often clipped to point of monosyllables. A friend of Ben’s parents accosts him almost conspiratorially with “I’m going to say one word to you, just one word… Plastics.” Nothing the elder generation says to him even begins to connect. But similarly he cannot seem to engage Mrs Robinson, despite his embarrassinbgly awkward best efforts: “We’re going to do this. We’re going to have a conversation.” On perhaps the worst first date ever, Elaine has to shout above the roar of Ben’s car engine, and we can barely hear his one-word replies.

In addition to the fractured dialogue, the way frames are constructed heightens the feelings of dislocation – both of the characters from each other, and indeed from the audience. During their ill-feted affair, Ben and Mrs Robinson are rarely seen clearly together. One or both of them is cut off the edge of the shot, in silhouette, or sat with their back to the camera. Even when we can see them both, there’s not a great deal of eye contact. The bedrooms are white and clean to the point of being cold, clinical and distant, not at all intimate or personal. Within all of this, the humour of the alleged comedy is often painful, and almost always arises through miscommunication or misunderstanding. This is a dark, disjointed view of the world.

Anne Bancroft is tremendous as Mrs Robinson. If Jesus does love her more than she can know, He truly is a saviour of souls. Mrs Robinson is a desperate predator, clinging onto her historic pre-eminence in a changing world. We often see her in animal print coats, robes or slips, a hint at the exotic or dangerous in Benjamin’s preppy world. She lures him into her lair, and never lets him escape. Fearing the worst when Elaine returns, she forbids him from seeing her, because she know her daughter’s youth and innocent beauty will steal Benjamin (her new plaything) away. Her eyes are dark, clouded and empty. In one agonising moment she removes her stocking, coldly vacant. It’s devastating.

In the truly wonderful scene when Ben finally confesses his affair to Elaine, we see Mrs Robinson between them, outside the door, mascara streaked across her face, dejected, resigned, beaten. She silently leaves the frame but the camera stays focused on her, on her absence, for an achingly long couple of seconds before returning to Elaine. That’s the moment the film shifts from the split between the generations to a struggle within the younger characters to discover their own purpose and place in the world.

From the very first to the very last frame, music plays an important part. Like the weather & landscape in Thomas Hardy novels, Simon & Garfunkel’s songs are a character in themselves, the lyrics often expressing the unspoken feelings of Benjamin’s personality. “The Sound of Silence” perfectly reflects and builds on the theme of alienation and isolation all through the first half. Benjamin is reacting against the world of his parents, but he has little or no direction: he certainly doesn’t know what he actually wants; just that he wants things to be “different”. When the focus switches from his home to Berkeley, “Scarborough Fayre” becomes a lilting love song: Ben has found his purpose, a quest to recapture and regain Elaine’s affection.

But Benjamin Braddock, for all his gawky angst, can be a pretty unlikeable character. If he weren’t so incompetent, he could almost be described as a sociopath. He’s nihilistic, he rejects his parents, he’s very creepy towards Elaine in Berkeley when he practically stalks her for weeks, and he does take her on that terrible first date: although he does crack at the last minute, so perhaps he’s not a monster! We can only assume that Elaine sees something of herself in Ben, or simply recognises his struggle to express himself. But for the most part she seems pretty well-adjusted and more at ease with herself.

And then there’s the famous final sequence which has even been copied by The Simpsons, where Ben actually achieves something. Seemingly victorious in his quest for Elaine, the younger generation escape from the clutches of the old. Mrs Robinson (in a leopard-print suit) hisses at Elaine “It’s too late” before her daughter snaps back “Not for me”, fleeing from the Church and her preppy catalogue fiancé Carl. Yet as our hero and heroine leap onto a bus, directionless and alone, “The Sound of Silence” returns. Staring straight ahead, not even touching, they may be in it together, but this must be one of the least triumphant happy endings ever.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) is an American psychological horror film produced and directed by Robert Aldrich. The screenplay by Lukas Heller is based on the novel of the same name by Henry Farrell. In 2003, the character of Baby Jane Hudson was ranked #44 on the American Film Institute’s list of the 50 Best Villains of American Cinema.

Tagline:  Sister, sister, oh so fair, why is there blood all over your hair?

Trivia:

• The curious teenager who lives next door to the Hudson sisters is none other than Barbara Merrill, Bette Davis’s real-life daughter.
• The wig Bette Davis wears throughout the film had, unbeknownst to both leads, been worn by Joan Crawford in an earlier MGM movie. Because it had been re-groomed, Crawford didn’t recognize it.
• During production, Bette Davis had a Coca-Cola machine installed on the set to anger Joan Crawford, whose late husband had been CEO of rival Pepsi-Cola and who herself was on the board of directors of that company.
• During the kicking scene, Bette Davis kicked Joan Crawford in the head, and the resulting wound required stitches. In retaliation, Crawford put weights in her pockets so that when Davis had to drag Crawford’s near-lifeless body, she strained her back.
• While touring the talk show circuit to promote the movie, Bette Davis told one interviewer that when she and Joan Crawford were first suggested for the leads in this film, Warner Bros. studio head Jack L. Warner replied: “I wouldn’t give a plugged nickel for either one of those two old broads.” Recalling the story, Davis laughed at her own expense. The following day, she reportedly received a telegram from Crawford: “In future, please do not refer to me as an old broad!”
• The final scene at the beach was filmed in Malibu, California at the same spot where director Robert Aldrich filmed the final scene of Kiss Me Deadly (1955). When Blanche confesses the truth to “Baby Jane”, you can see in the background that same house that was “blown up” by a mysterious box containing radioactive material in “Kiss Me Deadly”.
• The producers originally wanted Peter Lawford to play Edwin Flagg. Bette Davis also originally objected to Victor Buono’s casting but eventually came around.
• Because she was then a member of the Pepsi-Cola board of directors, Joan Crawford managed to see that product placement shots of the soft drinks appeared in all of her later films. Although nearly imperceptible, Pepsi does show up in this one. During the last sequence, a guy runs up to the refreshment stand on the beach and tries to collect the deposit on some empty Pepsi bottles – a transaction that actually only happened in stores.
• Cracked head of Baby Jane doll featured prominently in ad campaign was a completely different doll than that used in movie – probably because movie was filmed and released so quickly that ad staff had to devise campaign while film was still in production.
• In addition to her trademark number “I’ve Written a Letter to Daddy”, the young Baby Jane apparently had other hit songs in her act. When Edwin prepares to play the piano for their rehearsal, we see Jane’s picture featured on old sheet music for songs entitled “Fly the Flag of Freedom”, “She’s Somebody’s Little Girl”, and “I Wouldn’t Trade My Daddy”.
• The scenes from Jane’s early films that show her to be a flop as an actress are scenes from Parachute Jumper (1933) and Ex-Lady (1933). When Bette Davis heard that the crew was looking for poor footage of her from that time, she (half-jokingly) suggested that any of her films from the period would do.
• Joan Crawford was an avid collector of Margaret and Walter Keane’s “sad eyes” paintings and befriended the couple and tried to incorporate their work into her films. In the film, during the interior scenes of the neighbor’s (Mrs. Bates) house, several Keene paintings can be seen displayed on the walls.
• Early in the film, actor Bert Freed playing a film director can be seen wearing a necktie that’s not tied in a knot, but is instead crossed over held on by a tie clasp. That was a trademark look of the movie’s director Robert Aldrich, and was placed there as an inside gag.
• A freeze-frame just as the car enters the driveway in the prologue reveals the secret of who was driving the car the night Blanche was paralyzed.
• Bette Davis had been nominated for Best Actress in her film What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), which also starring Joan Crawford. If Bette had won, it would have set a record number of wins for an actress. According to the book “Bette & Joan – The Divine Feud” by Shaun Considine, the two had a life long mutual hatred, and a jealous Joan Crawford actively campaigned against Bette Davis for winning Best Actress, and even told Anne Bancroft that if Anne won and was unable to accept the Award, Joan would be happy to accept it on her behalf. According to the book – and this may or may not be 100% true, but it makes a good anecdote – on Oscar night, Bette Davis was standing in the wings of the theatre waiting to hear the name of the winner. When it was announced that Anne Bancroft had won Best Actress for The Miracle Worker (1962), Bette Davis felt an icy hand on her shoulder as Joan Crawford said “Excuse me, I have an Oscar to accept”.
• According to Bette Davis in her book This N’ That, this film was originally going to be shot in color. Bette opposed this, saying that it would just make a sad story look pretty.
• This film can be seen as a tragic continuation of the story of the film Gypsy (1962). The sibling rivalry of the blond child star Baby Jane (Baby June in Gypsy) and the brunette sister, who has a Hollywood career as an adult.
• In scenes where Jane imitates Blanche’s voice, the voice heard is actually Joan Crawford’s voice, and not Bette Davis’, as Bette could not master Joan’s voice properly.
• This film is considered by many as Joan Crawford’s last important picture. After this film, Joan was typecast in some lesser horror pictures until her last picture in 1970 and her last TV appearance in 1972.
• In 1962, this film was a smash hit, grossing nine million dollars initially. In 2009 dollars, this amount would adjust to approximately $64,279,370.86.
• In her book, “This N’ That”, Bette Davis said she had a lot of control over how her makeup should be done for the film. She imagined the older Jane as someone who would never wash her face, just put on another layer of makeup. When her daughter, B.D. first saw her in full “Jane” makeup, she said, “Oh, mother, this time you’ve gone too far”

Amazon Specials!

Ciertamente existe gente con una pronunciada fobia social, gente para las que dar fiestas es todo un suplicio. Pero también es cierto que Anne Bancroft no es de ese tipo, sin embargo, la tiránica etiqueta social de Hollywood puede vuelver loca a cualquiera, de hecho en el video que les presento hoy podemos ver a Anne Bancroft sufriendo una paranoia-esquizoide sobre el espinoso tema de cómo sentar e introducir a sus invitados. En él, la Bancroft cuenta como una vez organizó un cocktail party para Yma Sumac a la que se sumó Ava Gardner y una larga lista de invitados. Yma Sumac para hacer que el ambiente fuera mucho más relajado le pide a Bancroft que, por favor, presente a sus invitados por su nombre de pila. El lío, claro, es tremendo y ella acaba en tratamiento psicológico en la mejor tradición de la “comedy of manners“:

Oiga y no se rían, que a mí me pasó, intenten hacer una fiesta en el que el 50% de los invitandos son punkis, un 25 % gente tremendamente moderna y otro 25% extranjeros: Chuskis, Moskis, Trostkis, Sañas, Flinkis…

]]> http://esulecinefilo.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/il-laureato-di-mike-nichols/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:18:24 +0000 esulecinefilo http://esulecinefilo.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/il-laureato-di-mike-nichols/ http://cinedirecto.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/la-asesina/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:00:08 +0000 mickymousse http://cinedirecto.wordpress.com/2009/10/16/la-asesina/ http://bitchamber.wordpress.com/2009/10/11/the-graduate-%ce%bf-%cf%80%cf%81%cf%89%cf%84%ce%ac%cf%81%ce%b7%cf%82/ Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:25:58 +0000 mauroprovato http://bitchamber.wordpress.com/2009/10/11/the-graduate-%ce%bf-%cf%80%cf%81%cf%89%cf%84%ce%ac%cf%81%ce%b7%cf%82/

1967 του Mike Nichols

“Mrs.Robinson, I think you’re trying to seduce me..-aren’t you?”

Θέλω να ξεκινήσω στέλνοντας συγχαρητήρια σ’ αυτόν που το μετέφρασε έστι. Ο πρωτάρης. Από την αρχή στο λαιμό μου κάθησε, λες και είναι καμιά χαζοαμερικανιά σαν αυτές που συνηθίζουν να γυρίζουν σήμερα.

Και συνεχίζω με τα βασικά της πλοκής. Πρωταγωνιστής της ιστορίας είναι ο Benjamin Braddock. O Benjamin μόλις έχει αποφοιτήσει με τιμές από το πανεπιστήμιο, αλλά δεν είναι σίγουρος για το τί θέλει να κάνει στη ζωή του. Αυτό για το οποίο είναι σίγουρος και μας γίνεται από την αρχή σαφές είναι ότι δε θέλει να γίνει σαν τους πλούσιους και ολίγον τι γελοίους γονείς του και τους παρόμοιους φίλους τους, που έχουν κατακλύσει το σπίτι για να γιορτάσουν την επιστροφή του, παρ’ ότι ο ίδιος θα προτιμούσε να μείνει μόνος του και να σκεφτεί για το μέλλον του. Σε καποια στιγμή, η κυρία Robinson, μια σαραντάρα φίλη των γονιών του, του ζητάει να την οδηγήσει μέχρι το σπίτι της, το οποίο κάνει απρόθυμα. Στη συνέχεια, με διάφορα τεχνάσματα καταλήγει να στέκεται γυμνή μπροστά του, κάνοντας εμφανής τις προθέσεις της. Εκείνος φεύγει τρομοκρατημένος, αλλά μετά από δύο μέρες της τηλεφωνεί και η (σεξουαλική βασικά) σχέση τους ξεκινά. Και μετά γνωρίζει την Elaine, την όμορφη κόρη της κ. Robinson. Τότε τα πράγματα περιπλέκονται…

Ο “Πρωτάρης” δεν είναι μια τυπική ρομαντική κομεντί. Είναι κωμωδία, με το χιούμορ να βγαίνει αβίαστα, έχει και λίγο δράμα μέσα, είναι ένα ωραίο love story, αλλά είναι και κοινωνική σάτιρα. Συνολικά, είναι μια ιδιαίτερα όμορφη και απολαυστική ταινία. Η εξαιρετική σκηνοθεσία του Nichols (οσκαρ σκηνοθεσίας) την κάνει τέτοια. Έχει κοντινά πλάνα στα πρόσωπα των ηρωών, σκηνές όπου ο πρωταγωνιστής ρεμβάζει ή ο σκηνοθέτης αφήνει τις εικόνες και τη μουσική να αποδώσουν τη σκηνή και ευρηματικά πλάνα, όπως οι ταχύτατη εναλλαγή σκηνών ανάμεσα στο γυμνό σώμα της κ. Robinson και το έκπληκτο πρόσωπο του Benjamin ή ντροπιαστική σκηνή στην πισίνα, “κυριολεκτικά” από τα μάτια του Benjamin.

Αυτός ήταν ο πρώτος μεγάλος ρόλος του Dustin Hoffman, που τον έκανε διάσημο. Παίζει φανταστικά το χαρακτήρα του, ένα νεαρό λίγο μαμούχαλο, λίγο παθητικό, αρκετά μπερδεμένο, χωρίς κάποιο συγκεκριμένο στόχο στη ζωή του, μέχρι που γνωρίζει την Elaine. Η Αnne Bancroft φτιάχνει μια εκρηκτική κ. Robinson. Τί ελπίδες θα μπορούσε να ‘χει κάποιος σαν τον Benjamin ότι μπορεί να της αντιστάθει; Είναι όμως και μυστηριώδης: δε μαθαίνουμε πολλά γι αυτή, πέρα από το ότι αναγκάστηκε να παρατήσει τις σπουδές της και να παντρευτεί όταν έμεινε έγκυος. Ούτε είμαστε σίγουροι για το αν νιώθει για τον Benjamin κάτι παραπάνω από ερωτική έλξη. Ίσως ναι. Επίσης πολύ καλή είναι και η παρουσία της Katherine Ross στο ρόλο της γλυκιάς και έξυπνης Elaine.

Πρέπει ακόμα να προσθέσω ότι υπάρχει σοβαρός κίνδυνος να λατρέψετε τα τραγούδια των Simon & Garfunkel αφ’ ότου δείτε την ταινία. Εκτός από το πλέον γνωστό Mrs.Robinson, χρησιμοποιήθκαν και τα Sound Of Silence, Scarborough Fair και April Come She Will.

Όλα τα παραπάνω συνθέτουν την (πιθανώς) διασημότερη αποπλάνηση όλων των εποχών…

Mike Nichols dirigió en 1967 “El Graduado”, que contenía una historia de un cierto morbo para la época, al girar una parte de su trama, sobre la seducción de un jovencito que acaba de graduarse en la universidad, por una mujer madura.

Dustin Hoffman (no tan jovencito, porque ya contaba 30 años cuando interpretó el papel, aunque resultaba totalmente convincente), Anne Bancroft (no tan madura, pues en la vida real tan sólo tenía 6 años más que su seducido) y Katharine Ross (que tenía 27 años cuando dio vida en la película a la novia de el graduado, siendo al mismo tiempo hija de la seductora), fueron los protagonistas de un film que obtuvo un gran éxito (y mítico al día de hoy), al que ayudó también su atractiva banda sonora.

Paul Simon y Art Garfunkel (Simon & Garfunkel), un dúo de de reconocida calidad, y en la cumbre de la fama en aquel año 67, fue fichado para poner música a la película.

Exceptuando el tema central, Mrs. Robinson, que compuso Paul Simon especialmente para el film, el resto de los que componen la banda sonora, habían sido publicados con anterioridad, y ya eran conocidos por la mayoría de los espectadores que vieron “El Graduado”.

Junto a Mrs. Robinson, The Sound of Silence y Scarborough Fair, fueron los temas estrella que podían escucharse en diversas secuencias del film.

La banda sonora de “El graduado”, se mantuvo durante nueve semanas en primera posición en los listados de grandes éxitos, consiguiendo ser Disco de Oro. En la entrega de los Grammy de 1969, Mrs. Robinson fue reconocida como la mejor grabación del año, y Paul Simon fue galardonado con el premio a la mejor banda sonora original para una película.

Merece la pena que dediquéis unos minutos a escuchar estas canciones que algunos ya conoceréis, y que por su calidad resultan atemporales.

Os recomiendo también ver la película si aún no la habéis visto. Estuvo nominada en siete categorías de los premios Oscar (una de las nominaciones, la de Hoffman al Mejor Actor), consiguiendo Mike Nichols el de Mejor Director.

Mrs. Robinson

The Sound of Silence

Scarborough Fair

Trailer

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Swanson 

 Chapter 4- Coming  to NYC at last

 I came to New York City when I was 18 to study acting.   My mother had left a small insurance policy for me of $2,000,  plus my Army mustering out pay. Then I came to New York on a Greyhound bus  — what else.   I moved into a horrible rooming house called Mrs. Cale’s Boarding House.  To this day I can remember every detail of the depressing room.  The only thing I was trained for from high school was being a typist.  At that time male clerical workers were in demand.  I landed a job almost immediately with a company called Remington Rand.  I started taking acting classes right away at the Herbert Berghof  School of Acting, which still exists today.   I studied mostly with the late Bill Hicky, who was probably one of the greatest unacknowledged teachers of our time.  If you’re really serious about acting, the first thing you discover is how little you know about everything else.  Do you remember the biblical word “beget”.  Acting begets voice and voice begets diction.  And what about body movement and dance and singing.  The more you could do, the better chance you would have of suceeding.  As I look back I can’t figure out for the life of me how I took so many classes on the salary of a typist.  After a year or so of studying, I started auditioning and my very first part was as the newsboy in Our Town.   For years I carried around a post card informing me of being accepted to audition for West Side Story.  I knew I clearly was not ready, but I went anyway.  Actually I did quite well in the jazz dance sequences but when it came to the Somewhere ballet sequence, I quietly left the stage, but there I was on the stage of the Wintergarden theatre, a moment that I will never forget.

Perhaps it’s time I mentioned that during that first year, when I was changing clothes in the dressing room of the June Taylor Dance School, another young man grabbed me, dipped me in that famous Rhett Butler, Scarlet O’Hara position and kissed me on the lips, a real deep kiss.  All sorts of  chimes, bells and whistles went off and I knew immediately that this is what was missing.  As they say in the trade, I came out.  I was gay.  It was a tremendous shock but it certainly answered a lot of questions.  Through the man that kissed me, and I swear I can’t remember his name — isn’t that awful– he introduced me to the gay world of New York City, the gay bars, the after hours places, the back rooms and the party scenes.  In the ’60’s and ’70’s New York was the place to be and in the summertime I discovered Fire Island.   I had met a gay guy in one of my classes who introduced me to his friends and we hit it off.   The four or five of us went everywhere together.  They became my second family.  We decided  to rent a house on Fire Island, Cherry Grove and did so for several seasons.  Cherry Grove was wall  to wall gays and a few lesbians.  In later years the lesbians took over the island.   It was really incredible.  There were always parties after the disco closed and there was a patch of woods called the Bushes or the Meat Rack or something  like that and if you didn’t mind getting poison ivy on your butt, it was the place to be.

I met a guy named Jack around this time who worked in Macy’s.  He fancied himself as a wanna be producer.  He introduced me to the pill scene, Lotus 8’s, Seconal, I don’t even know if these drugs are made anymore.   We became close friends quickly.  He also introduced me to bathhouses and acid trips.  I happened to be there at the Continental Baths the night Bette Midler made her debut.  I’ll never forget it.  First of all I didn’t know there was a show of any kind.  I heard a strange sound and I came out of the orgy room.  When you exit an orgy room, that’s when everybody wants you.  Someone ripped my towel off, so I took somebody else’s towel and walked down this grand staircase and there she was.  She was singing “I Am The Acid Queen,” and she had one breast hanging out.  Yes, Barry Manilow was on piano.  She tore up the place and you could really say, a star was born.  After her appearance, they tried other entertainers, but it never worked.  By this time the Puerto Rican sissies took over  the place and hot men no longer went there.   There is nothing worse than a Puerto Rican sissy.   One night, at  least Jack claims, he went blind in one eye as a result of a bad acid trip.  I had never heard of that happening to anyone before but the experience certainly totally changed his personality.  Because of so many disability programs in place, he never had to work again.  This really affected his drive or should I say lack of drive and eventually we saw less and less of each other.  Jack and I also played supers in the City Center Opera Company.  In operas, super is the same as an extra in the movies.  We were in Aida and Carmen and were paid $4.00 per performance.

During this time when I was still taking acting classes, I was paired off with a woman to play a scene from Come Back Little Sheba.  It was a heavy make out scene and we rehearsed mostly at her apartment.  It’s a very odd thing because I don’t remember it but apparently I  was always talking about my brother.   I think she fell in love with before she met him.   She arranged a double date with her roommate and that’s how they met.  My brother  was quite the lady’s man.  He was as cute as a button and he was ever so charming.  At that time he was dating Miss America and then later Anne Bancroft no less while she was in the Miracle Worker on Broadway.  One night Anne was giving a lecture at the HB Studio, where she kept apologizing because she never had to struggle.  After the lecture the three of us went back to her apartment and she was so impressed that I didn’t know what Smirnoff Vodka was.   “How innocent can you be,” she said.  

In any event my brother continued to date the woman from my acting class and eventually they married.  Can you beat that?  And I introduced them.

As time marched on I did several off-off Broadway showcase plays as they were called.  They ran for two weekends.  After the opening night when your friends and family came to see the play, the next night there might be two people in the audience.  Most of the time the scripts were so bad that your greatest challenge as an actor was to find a way to deliver the line without being laughed off the stage, but it was still great experience, but I felt it was time for a change.

Sometimes we choose the films we watch, but the most important ones seem to choose us. And so it was with “The Graduate,” one of those timeless classics I kept meaning to see but never did. This always seemed a grave error in judgment, waiting so long to meet Benjamin Braddock. Then ”The Graduate” finally cycled up from its lowly queue ranking, I watched it, at age 28, and I knew. I saw this movie at precisely the right time.

Oops. Was that too crunchy, maybe too reflective? Absolutely. Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) would hate it. He’s not that reflective, lives mostly inside his mind. So why should I wax all philosophical? Refer back to ”precisely the right time.” Bittersweet and poignant, “The Graduate” is a film best enjoyed after the angst of the early 20s — OK, the whole of one’s 20s — has passed. In those youthful moments where The Future and all its infinite possibilities are terrifying, perspective doesn’t exist. All that does is fear, the kind that doesn’t go away until you stop feeding it and it wanders away.  

In Mike Nichols’ “The Graduate,” we don’t get to see that transition for Benjamin. Right on. Benjamin, in Hoffman’s estimation, is the listless owner of some unnamed of bachelor’s degree and one of those real-world useless fellowship accolades with a name no one can keep straight. Back in his parents’ California home, he’s forced into one party after another in his honor, and each one makes him more and more uncomfortable. Everyone has big opinions about what Benjamin should do with his life (one word: “Plastics”), but he hasn’t the slightest clue. All his frustrations — “I’m worried about my future” he says pointedly — are ignored, and this only magnifies his anxiety. 

Then comes the summer-long Affair Heard ‘Round the World (it lives on in infamy through Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson”) with Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), a confident, attractive, overtly sexual friend of Benjamin’s parents. In a dumber film, Mrs. Robinson would play teacher and impart scads of life lessons to the shy, inexperienced Benjamin, who’d gobble them up and grow into a mature, successful businessman. But who wants to see that movie? Certainly not Nichols; thus, the affair serves mostly to exacerbate Benjamin’s confusion, mixes up the concepts of dreams and sexual desires in his brain. Not good for a regular 20something guy, let alone one who’s as rudderless as Benjamin. Then things get worse: He falls for Mrs. Robinson’s young daughter Elaine (Katharine Ross). This is an odd plot point, one that could be a little soap opera-esque without Nichols’ knack for finding the right pitch (helped along by Simon and Garfunkel’s deceptively peppy score).

So the web of Benjamin’s world is, ahem, decidedly tangled. Sex tends to do that, particularly if it happens with the best looking of all your parents’ friends. (Eek.) Yet these entanglements don’t matter nearly as much as the way they affect Benjamin. “The Graduate” is first and foremost a coming-of-age film, for though Benjamin’s technically an adult his emotional development hasn’t come close to catching up with his age. And the strange escapades in his life don’t produce the effects we might predict. To a degree, his affair with Mrs. Robinson does enlighten him — he taps into his sexuality in a way he hasn’t yet. But Benjamin thinks his affair with Mrs. Robinson will mean something. She’s bored and wants sex. (Bancroft does a wonderful job of not backing away from Mrs. Robinson’s palpable sexuality.) Then he believes his love — however misplaced and desperate — for Elaine will give him purpose. We get the idea that Benjamin’s seeking the right things; he’s just looking in the wrong places.

This much becomes clear in the ending (one of the best in cinematic history), and in Hoffman’s distracted performance. Hoffman closes down his face and shrinks his shoulders to play Benjamin, who’s separated himself from reality. He’s spinning around with no sense of direction until the end. Even then, when he’s learned something, he doesn’t seem to know what. Neither do we … and that’s just as it should be.

Grade: A

Word

logorrhea [law-guh-ree-uh, log-uh-] n. 1. pathologically incoherent, repetitious speech 2. incessant or compulsive talkativeness; wearisome volubility

Birthday

Jonathan Alder (1773), William Carlos Williams (1883), John Willard Marriott (1900), Warren Burger (1907), Hank Williams (1923), Roddy McDowall (1928), Anne Bancroft (1931), Ken Kesey (1935), Reinhold Messner (1944), Phil Jackson (1945), John Ritter (1948), Rita Rudner (1956), Baz Luhrmann (1962), Dustin Nguyen (1962), Bryan Singer (1965), Doug E. Fresh (1966), Anastacia (1968), Bobby Lee (1972), Mirah (1974), Constantine Maroulis (1975), Alexander Ovechkin (1985)

Standpoint

It’s pretty much a universal belief that the iPhone is the single greatest invention of this, or any other, era. Maybe. They seem pretty great. The whole bumpin’-iPhones-to-exchange pics app looks maybe somehow maybe somewhat useful. The holding-your-iPhone-to-a-speaker-in-a-public-place-to-find-out-who-is-performing app seems more than useful, if not a blatant attempt by Apple to get iPhone users to buy songs while inebriated in a bar. I bet it works more often than not. Kudos, Apple geniuses. I don’t own an iPhone, so I don’t truly know what it is everyone is yammering about.

However, I do know this: the iPhone is destroying something near and dear to my heart. Being both a bartender and an avid bar customer, I’m a huge fan of the mostly meaningless, often illogical and mainly unfulfilling pastime of bullshitting from a bar stool. Once upon a time, you could go to a local watering hole with a group of your buddies, and, after a few drinks, start up some nonsensical debate, usually about (a) sports, (b) music, (c) movies, and, even sometimes, (d) historical events. These are the kinds of debates that, even when highly intelligent individuals are involved, can go on for hours due to the emphatic way each person “swears to God” they’re right, and the increasing amounts of alcohol consumed.

For me, these deliberations are highly entertaining due to the simple fact it’s inconsequential who’s right and who’s wrong. The winner is the person who can convince everyone else involved they are, in fact, wrong, and he, in fact, is right. Even when he’s completely wrong and everyone else is exactly right. Whichever side of the bar I find myself on, it’s something I excel at. As a bartender, I love manipulating a bunch of drunk conversation in one way or another, nudging them along with supposedly innocous statements. As a bar customer, I more enjoy stating a fact or taking a position I know to be erroneous, and coaxing everyone to accept it as gospel truth. I’m kind of a dick that way.

IN ANY CASE, the iPhone has turned almost all of these disputes, once a nightlong event, into a simple matter of pulling a device out a pocket, and providing an irrefutable answer to whatever the hell it was everyone was discussing, reducing it to a matter of minutes, sometimes seconds.

The topic is trivial. Did Jason Bateman play a swarmy kid in the Ricky Schroeder sitcom “Silver Spoons?” Some people say yes, some say no. The argument could go on forever. Meanwhile, in the course of all that banter, the immediate topic gets put aside for a time, other topics emerge and are chewed on. Eventually, someone remembers how it all started and the original question is loudly thrown back onto the table. More hemming and hawing. No conclusion can be reached. But everyone had a helluva time trying to figure it out.

But now, when the Jason Bateman-”Silver Spoons” question comes up, at least three people, one of which was some loner eavesdropper no one knows, will whip out their iPhone (or its ugly cousin, the Blackberry), go to IMDb.com and tell everyone, yes, Jason Bateman was on the “Silver Spoons,” playing a characater named Derek for 23 episodes between 1982 and 1984.

And that’s it. End of discussion. Hours of fun averted.

I love all this technology, but there are some things that will go away because of it, that will make everything just a little less fun.

Quotation

The thing about being a professor is that if you can make just one student successful, if you can make just one student see the light, if you can make just one ready for the outside world, then you’re still stuck with nineteen failures. ← Mel Helitzer

Tune

Recently, someone described my music listening tastes as, “mostly lyric-driven.” OK, I’ll buy that. Probably true. Guess that’s why Brendan Benson’s song, “What I’m Looking For” has been my on-again, off-again theme song for the past several years. I’m reasonably sure some of the most well-written lyrics ever.

Gallimaufry

→ Judging from my experiences with most of you out there in the world, some of you could really benefit from reading “10 Ways to Keep Your Mind Sharp.” Seriously, people, take a look at it. For me.

→ According to some dude named Sam McCaig from THN.com, The Philadelphia Flyers have all but sewn it up for the upcoming season. No reason to play the games, fellas. We’ll just take The Cup whenever it’s convenient for you to run it down this way. I hate articles like this because they never ever come true.

→ Despite the fact that just about everyone was saying it would never happen, Pavement’s decided it’s time for a reunion. Indie-rocker nirvana starts now.

and here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson

On September 17:

1787 The USA Constitution was signed.

1883 USA writer William Carlos Williams was born.

1901 English adventurer Sir Francis Chichester was born.

1929 English racing car driver Sir Stirling Moss was born.

1931 US actor Anne Bancroft was born.

1941 The death penalty was abolished in New Zealand.

1944 the airborne invasion of Holland began. Operation Market Garden is celebrated annually.

Waves of paratroopers land in the Netherlands during Operation Market Garden in September 1944.

Sourced from BBC On This Day, NZ History Online and Wikipedia.

Bette Midler was in the crowd just in front of me. She looked fab – about 15 years younger, hair the color of flames. She was mouthing off to Joan Rivers who was laughing and dropping a few sarcastic lines of her own. They disappeared into the throng of people pushing through revolving doors, as bodies closed in around me and I lost sight of them.

I was searching for something – another place to live maybe. I wasn’t sure where I was. New York? Paris?

I wasn’t “home,” but then I’m never quite home, anywhere.

Then I saw her again, at a small table set out in front of a restaurant. She was drinking coffee. She was older now, but not by much. Her hair was more blond, and she still looked good.

Then I heard Joan, from the other side of what was some sort of wall. Seemed to me she was in a public toilet, like you see on the streets of Paris. Only its exterior was worn wood, with partially ripped movie posters still stuck to its surface. Is that where we were? Paris?

I stopped.

Can we tawk? I said to Bette. Odd that I didn’t hesitate to approach a stranger. A famous stranger, at that.

She looked up. Now the street was somewhere in the South, a much smaller city, but I still didn’t know where.

You from the North? she asked.

Joan was scuffling around and muttering curse words as she appeared at my side, wriggling and adjusting her skirt. She was put together impeccably. Dripping in flashy earrings and a touch of faux fur, with a bright, painted smile.

Oh dawling, that voice is from the Nawth.  Can’t you tell? Get the girl a cuppa kawfie and we’ll AWL tawk!

Joan sat down, flagged a waiter for another coffee, and never missed a beat. She fired off one-liners into the air as Bette laughed and I tried to figure out if we were in Memphis or Manhattan, but it didn’t matter because we were all laughing and it was such a relief being with these funny women who let me sit and disappear into something familiar and diverting. And pain-free.

We gotta go, Bette said, abruptly.

Me, too? I asked.

Why not? Joan said, throwing a fifty on the table and grabbing me by the arm.

Next thing I knew, the three of us were standing in a huge plaza in front of a soaring skyscraper. New York. Everything was suddenly in black and white, and a fifty-something Anne Bancroft was waiting for us, looking a little disgruntled. She was dressed like someone’s mother, the way she looked in that movie with Ben Stiller and Jenna Elfman. Oh right. Keeping the Faith.

But now I’m not me. I’m Bancroft with that little crooked smile, and as I talk, I jut my chin out just a bit, purse my lips and cock my head. My gestures are her gestures. My voice is her voice. She – we – are somebody’s mother. That much I know. And time is always a factor when you’re someone’s mother.

“So?” she says, except it’s me, speaking, from inside her body. “What took you so long?”

What? says Joan. So we’re a little late. Nobody died.

I look. So do Joan and Bette. Walking towards us is another Anne – or, another me, as Anne. At least I think it may be me as Anne. Only this version is a stunner. Fortyish, and chic chic chic, the way Bancroft looked in The Graduate. Hair, jewelry, make up, little black dress – impeccable. She wears the smile of a woman who’s lived plenty of life, but is confident in everything. A woman who knows her place. And her place is where ever she wants it to be.

I’m trying to figure out where another me – Anne – came from. And why I’m still inside the older, crankier version.

Joan and Bette act like nothing in any of this is unusual. Including two versions of Anne.

“You took your time getting here,” says the other Anne, with the sort of insouciance that I expect from a well-heeled woman who has little to fear, from anyone.

“I saw from across the street. You still don’t know where you’re going or where you belong, do you. Well you better figure it out. Damn quick.”

Her statement was like a fist to the gut. She was talking to me.

I wake, my head pounding. I check the alarm clock, drag myself out of bed, go to the fridge. Okay. The lunch is gone. I glance on the floor by the couch in the living room. Shoes gone, too. And the fancy calculator that was on the footstool. My kid remembered everything today – and made the bus on time.

I feed the dog. I spoon Italian roast into a paper filter. Flip the switch on Mr. Coffee. I search for Excedrin. Pop one, while the dog is lapping her water and I’m waiting for caffeine.

My head feels likes it’s in a vice. I’m nauseous. I have a million things to figure out over the next days and there’s no Bette and no Joan to make me laugh, no one else to foot the bill for a coffee or anything else. My life has just dropped into the shitter again. Or more precisely, deeper into the shitter. Financially. I have legal recourse, but I’m nearly a decade past affording lawyers.

My “real life” smacks me in the face again. I run to the bathroom to be sick. Then drink coffee to kill the taste, and the migraine.

I wonder why these particular women inhabited my dream. Those particular urban landscapes. Two versions of myself – or possibly more.

The outhouse? Yeah. I get that. Shit nearby, no matter who you are, or how far you think you’ve traveled. Keeping the Faith. That one’s almost funny.

The real question, as the grip on my temples eases just a little: Can I learn enough to act as my own attorney in a system that already ground me up and spit me out years ago? I had three attorneys supposedly on my side then, and I still was dropped off a cliff along with my kids. It’s been an eight-year fall, a slow, hit-the-sharp-rocks-on-the-way-down kind of  fall. Still spiraling down, only faster now. Unexpectedly.

I know the adage about a person acting as their own lawyer – that he or she has a fool for a client. And I’d like to think I’m not the fool I was 15 years ago, or 10. Not this time.

How do you fight back when you have no resources? How do you find the strength to stand up, one more time after years of battling in a system in which individuals without resources are invisible?

How do you fight an adversary with money and indifference on his side? And maybe indifference is his greatest weapon of all?

That was my disadvantage from the beginning. Caring. Not wanting to put my kids in the middle. A mother protects her young.

They’re older now, but still vulnerable, though this latest infraction is big. The nail in the coffin, financially, and two years early. It will destroy any possibility of a stable finish to high school for my younger son. My chances? Long gone. But my son?

I’m not forty anymore. I’m tired. And there is no coterie of friends to make me laugh, or provide support of any sort. But if I don’t fight, then who have I become?

What do you do when the legal system won’t help, whether the law is technically on your side or not?  What do you when you’ve been ground down to such a reduced self that you barely remember which body you inhabit, which “self” is real, much less where you “belong?”

As for the voice in my head – what do I do about that? It  keeps saying fight back, no matter what – fight back. If you’re going down, go down fighting.

Am I Bancroft? If I am – which one? And how does that help?

© D A Wolf

Big Little Wolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy