.. I usually have an “Wanna Annoy Me” post every now and again but there were too many things today that just crawled up my ass so I figured I’d go easy on you guys and just enter one post.

Actually.. that’s not all together true. I just got back from the laundromat with 5 :: count ‘em 5 :: hampers so stuffed with clean clothes that I’ll never get the wrinkles out to fold that multiple posts just isn’t Father Time’s hourglass.

Ok..

So..

Things that annoyed me today:

1. I cut my bangs too short. I have this crazy curly hair that just magically shortens by 5 inches when you cut it. I usually leave it to the professionals :: which, I WAS one before I let my license expire :: but it got on my nerves so bad today that I dry cut it. This.. for all you non-professionals out there is when you cut your hair.. dry. Meaning, not wet. Meaning you just get done blow drying your hair and you can’t stand the way it fall into your face and annoys you that you grab the nearest scissors you can find and just start chopping. That’s a “dry cut”. The problem is when you cut your bangs yourself, you kind of get cross eyed. So it’s not a pretty thing to witness. So what was once a bang length down to my chin is now a bang length just in the middle of my eye. Too short. Long term baseball cap wear-age definitely in my future.
2. Men who wear tighty-whities. I am allowed to say that out loud because Chief is among the tighty-whitie wearers and I am the one who has to launder his tighty-whities. I used to roll my eyes at the Spawn from Satan’s Ass because he wore tighty-non-whities and it just looked ridiculous but if there is one kind thing I can say about the Spawn, it’s that he spared me from looking at and having to handle stained underwear. And we all know underwear gets stained.. PLEASE don’t try to convince me that your’s doesn’t. My question is.. how are you not EMBARASSED by it? I have been know to wear underwear on occassion :: yes, I usually go “commando” :: but even then, one little thing that isn’t suppose to be there and they get chucked in the trash. Buried deep. So no one can see them.
3. People who drive with handicap placards hanging from their rear view mirror. Because.. like.. it clearly states DO NOT HANG WHILE DRIVING. I know.. because my dad :: RIP :: used to have one. If you’re going to do that then I’m going to assume your handicap is of the mental variety and you shouldn’t be driving anyway. Therefore, I can’t help what comes out of my mouth when you decide your going to make a UTurn on a four lane highway from the far right lane, while I’m in the middle lane. Jerk off.
4. .. and speaking of stuff hanging from rear view mirrors. What’s with all the damn plastic leis all of a sudden? Did I miss a memo? Forget to invite me to a party. Get that dumb shit off.
5. People who think THEIR time is WAY MORE valuable then mine. You know the whole issue we’re having with Bubba and school, right? Well, I’ve been in email communication with his primary teacher and since today was report card day, she suggested that I go to the high school at 4:30 so that I can have a sit down meeting with all his teachers. 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30 because when she said 4:30 all kinds of things started running through my head like, “Will Chief be able to close the store and come with?” .. “Do I leave Bubba home alone?”.. “Will I be able to pick Bubba up at 2:20 and then go to the wholesalers and make it back in time?” .. so yea.. I KNOW she said 4:30. So what happens? I get to the school at 4:30 and no one. Anywhere. I check the library where we were suppose to meet and it’s empty except for someone that’s somewhere in the back who won’t respond to my HELLOs or EXCUSE MEs only to make an appearance after I roamed all over an empty school :: so much for fucking security :: and happen to see the above mentioned someone in the middle of the library vacuuming. When asked the whereabouts of the teachers, she looked at me in disgust and told me that report cards weren’t going to be given out until 6… with an attitude. But no bigger then the one I was already carrying around. So I drive back to the shop fuming and then drive back to the school fuming and when finally face to face with the primary teacher, she tells me that she smugly told me that she had something to do. If Bubba’s education was NOT as important as it is I would have dropped the cow on her fat ass. Immediately.
6. My father in law telling me he can’t believe I stayed with his son this long. That annoyed me. Maybe because it’s true and I know it’s true. Dunno. Must ponder that one.
7. Missing school pictures. OH how that annoyed me! If you read some of my recent previous posts, you know that the Crack Whore was throwing up accolades in my direction because I sent her a message that I had Spaz’s school picture for her. Well, today, Spaz got out of school early and because .. well, I don’t really know “because” .. anyway, he called the Crack Whore and she how ever it happened, she came by the shop and took him somewhere. I was in the back.. didn’t see her.. didn’t care. BUT I figured when I got home, I better sort out the pictures because I wanted to put which ever ones in the Thanksgiving cards I got for Chief’s brother, my mom, etc. So when I get home.. there’s no 8×10. There WAS an 8×10 because I ordered and 8×10.. and even if I didn’t think I ordered an 8×10, I clearly remember the day that Spaz came home with them and pulled the 8×10 out of the envelope because I told him to put it back before his sticky candy fingers smudged it. I have a wall lined with their 8×10 school pictures so I know there was one. So I call the Crack Whore and leave a message to have Spaz call me because there’s a missing 8 x fucking 10 picture missing. About an hour and a half goes by and he calls and asks if I want to talk to him and I ask him if he took the picture. He said no.. and if there was ever a time that I could tell this child was lying it was then. The pause.. the stutter.. all neon arrows. He tells me that I didn’t order one. Now.. excuse me.. my brain cells are not swimming in anything chemical. It’s sharp as a tack so to try and convince me that I didn’t order one only inflamed me more. That and the fact that the edging that was on the 8 x fucking 10 picture was cut. And not in a straight line. We had issues with pictures before, me and the Crack Whore. Especially when she stole Weed’s prom picture. Yes. You read that right. STOLE. So I’m not putting it past her that she asked about the pictures and Spaz gave her the 8 x fucking 10. What I’m more pissed about is that she made him lie about it. So tonight at dinner, after he came home from her crack den, I told him that I wanted the picture back. That no one but me and him knew where the pack was. He started pulling his drama queen shit which further proved he had lied. So Chief gave him the opportunity to come clean saying that it’s understandable if he did because he’s just a little boy but he had to be honest about it. Which of course, made Sarah Bernhardt rise from the dead. And so I got pissed. Because I paid the $60 that I didn’t have for these pictures and I told Chief, he could call her all he wants.. she’s not going to ‘fess up to it. Because she never does. But I will tell you one thing.. in a few days that picture is going mysteriously turn up.. or I’m going to hear, “oh.. I forgot!’ or “I didn’t know you were talking about THAT picture”. I’ll bet you any amount of money on that.
8. Supermarkets that tell you that you CANNOT get the free turkey that is owed you for spending over three hundred dollars on their discount card because you lost the receipt that says you are entitled to a free turkey because you spent over three hundred dollars on their discount card. Since my father in law is coming over for dinner Thursday, I need a fucking turkey. Because as un-traditional as Chief is.. he CAN’T have ham :: of which I have one frozen in the freezer :: on Thanksgiving. It HAS to be turkey. It’s the TRADITION. I rolled my eyes at him and said, “.. you’re fucking kidding me, right?” Which, of course, he wasn’t. So I drive over to the supermarket .. grab a frozen bird :: AND thinking that if any bird deserved to be frozen right then it was Chief’s :: and when I get to the counter I remember that I don’t have the coupon. Not only don’t I have the coupon but I realize that I have no clue where it’s at. No problem. I have my discount card on my keyring. So I run out to the car to get my keys :: yes, I put my keys in the glove box if I know I’m not going to need a damn discount card because I always lose them and my car has coded locks so it’s not like I’d be locked out. :: come back into the store only to have the cashier tell me that I need the coupon. UH-UH! I have the discount card. She says it doesn’t matter.. that she has to ring up the card along with the coupon and bedlam ensues. Because I want someone who gets paid more then the cashier does to tell me that my discount card is NOT good enough.. because if the damn card can tell them everything about everything I’ve purchased then why the hell can’t it tell them that I get a free turkey. But of course, this is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and the crowd behind me is looking for things to impale me with so I told her that I would return tomorrow to speak with the manager. Then I went home and told Chief we were starting a new tradition and having ham, dammit.
9. Cats that chew on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots that have been stored in the deepest, darkest depth of my closet since last winter REALLY ANNOY me. I mean REALLY annoyed me. Annoyed me so much that I started to believe that the author of “Puss In Boots” had a cat that chewed on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots and made him pay for it dearly. Or maybe that’s what I was thinking when I found my boots were chewed. Hard to tell. I was annoyed.

Well.. I think y’all had enough of my ranting for now. I still have two hampers of laundry to fold and the laptop battery is running low.

Wish me a better day tomorrow.. either that, or send me a REALLY good recipe for spiked egg nog!

The annoying feeling i get when people are hippocrates and people try to dens fend them is mixed. I laugh but its extremely frustrating that when you call someone out someone else tries to defend them. Like my friends was ragging on how people need to be truer friends and if some says lets go do something cool, they should say sure instead of being the easy/ normal friend who just say yes or no, generally no, and i called him out on it saying that every time i want to chill or do something cool he blows me off or “forgets”. Then his sister defends him by basically saying some people need to be truer friends, which was directed at me. I mean at that statement i laughed because i called him out at a fault he had and was calling out. I mean i laughed, and my friend mikaela who read what was going on laughed too. People should really think about what  they say before posting it online. But hippocracy can be annoying, people do it all the time. Remember, think before you post.

Watch the edges; yet another birth, another coming-to, another attempt at elucidation, lucid, try lucidity, for a change, just watch the edges, and also, try to aim at the opaque, but where’s the opaque in the translucid, and how, how does it

Elucidation: an act of explaining that serves to clear up and cast light on. The splendid, harsh ambiguity of words, the clustering of them, the annoying coming-to, they do not leave us they do not, they do not leave us, an act of explaining, take that, an act, ex-plain, serves, clear, clear up, cast, cast, cast, light. On.

And as it is happening, you watch it take shape, this thing, this event, this work, this thing-in-work-in-process, which is you in the stupidest of senses, you have been feeding it and yes, you were the, the ur-text, but what with it, the bone, the rib, the biblical Eve, so clearly not you, going elsewhere, as you watch

Apparently I have enough time to update my post tag list, nothing new in the land of N yet, trying to figure out how I’m going to interlink all of my story’s into movuies and stuff.

Celtic Inc., a communications company in Brookfield Wisconsin, blogged today about the New Oxford American Dictionary’s 2009 “word of the year” and it’s a social media term: Unfriend. ‘Unfriend’ is defined as a verb which means “to remove somebody as a ‘friend’ from a social networking site like Facebook.

I’m not sure what our society is coming to that the concept of ‘unfriending’ is the word of the year. Here’s my word to the wise: if there’s a chance the person you unfriend will find out that you unfriended them, you might want to just add them to your ‘limited profile’ list or remove their ‘updates’ from your ‘news feed’.

Here is a clip from Seinfeld, with George Costanza showing Elaine and Jerry how if you look annoyed, you can pretend to look busy at work.

I know, nobody out there is just DYING to read my latest list of annoyances. Admit it no one, this list has just made your day!

• My Class Teacher. She should retire.
• The Docomo Friendship Express advertisement. I want to slap everyone in that advertisement.
• The idiots exercising on the treadmill beside me who refuse to look the other way while I’m punching in my weight.
• People who do not understand hygiene and the value of cleaning up. In Kolkata, thats like 99% of the population. Is it a wonder I am bad tempered?
• People who have not stopped about raving about how 2012 would be a really great movie. Some even believe that the world will actually end in 2012. What the Ef?
• Indian Government Officials – atleast the ones I deal with.
• Delta airhostesses who talk loudly when the lights are down. Nobody wants to hear about you, just let people sleep.
• Relatives who only call to get the dirt on you.
• Women who are wealthy dress tastelessly. Think fur, think satin, think sequins, think capes – ALL together. Women please look into the mirror before you buy. You dont have to buy it just because it cost a bajillion dollars, it needs to look GOOD on you.
• Women who get married in a rush and then make a mess of it and refuse to listen. I have seen many women like this.
• Whenl I meet really well educated people from USA who have no clue where Calcutta is, never mind that a person of similar educational background from say Chile, not only knows Calcutta but also has read Indian literature. Self-Pride at its Best. America Rocks, though!
• Friends who stay abroad, forget your existence until they need you to do something for their dependents who are in dirty, smelly, awful India.
• People who study with you, cracking spiteful jibes and thinking they can get away with it. Hmm… well, like I say, if you’re an asshole, you will smell eventually. Also, burning bridges is not very smart.
• People not understanding the value of reading newspapers daily.
• The idiot who tore off a page from my beloved Slam Book. Die asshole! Die!
• The born donkeys and cows who park all over my lane to get their booze.
• Pedestrians who cant see an approaching car or understand the value of pavements.
• Not being online much. I fucking miss everybody so much. It would get tougher still. Woosh!
• Sprite Zero.
• Not getting the iPhone 3GS here in India. When is it fucking launching here?
• Life.

In this article some Facebook Etiquette Rules that people still forget are outlined. Please don’t forget them.

A summary of the faux pas: Pregnant cryptic private countdowns calling crazy awful colleagues instead of calling people you aren’t friends with, is application overload.

Hey pplz,

This is my first real post, so therefore you should read it, judge it, if you like it keep reading, if you dont, then I will personally destroy you if you dare to troll me.

Right, iPod Touch. Not an iPhone. Not an iTouch. An iPod Touch. Three times this week, I have been trying to relax on rope man or something, and some technophobic walks up to me and uses their powers of stupidity to annoy me. “Awsome you have an iTouch!”

At this point I turn green and somewhat resemble the hulk (one with little muscle :P)

Then they call to there friends “Hey guys, he’s got an iPhone! Lets play taptap (taptap sucks- story for another time)”

I then usualy yell at them how stupid they are, and then eat there brains.

…

Anyway. Capitol I’s; They suck. Whoever decided every f’n I needed to be capitol is a real idiot. Srsly. It’s such a hastle when you dont have auto correct on some things, but yet the put an ANGRY RED LINE right underneath it.

I (see, i just had to press shift.) think capitol I’s are dumb anyway, coz they just look like lower case l’s.

Anyway, merry christmas (early w00tw00t)

Ado

I have so much good news!

I have a busy week ahead of me! Today I’m going to go and see The Lion King in the theatre. I managed to get student seats – one for me and one for my aunt. We will also be going behind the scenes and having a Q&A with the cast. It’ll be so much fun! -squee-

I will have to study for another math midterm. Those are so annoying! I’ve got to do exceedingly well on this midterm, or I may end up failing the class. I’d rather not have to take that class again! I have to do this now, while I still have time to study. The test is on the week of Nov. 16, so I still have a little bit of time. I just hope that I get high enough marks on it in order to make up for the first midterm so that I can relax a little on the final exam.

Ohhh…exciting stuff! Yours truly may end up being in a college movie! In fact, I’m 85% sure that I’ll be getting the role. They were kind of desperate for an actress, as they need to get this film turned in some time in the next month. -shrugs-

Also, something that I’ve been drooling shamelessly over for the past week or so is the fact that I’m going to be able to see Celtic Thunder in their Take Me Home tour on Saturday. Just…oh. The boys – ahem, men – look as good from the back as they do in the front (I’ll admit it – there are some naughty thoughts there), their voices are musical (to say the least), and they have a string section to die for (alright, I’ll say it. More naughty thoughts).

Now that I’ve filled you in with my life, I’m off to go and tell other people what’s happening with me.

T-ra!

Brightest Blessings,
Sockgirl

WHAT DOES A PET OF YOURS DO THAT IS THE MOST ANNOYING TO OTHERS?

I am the biggest fan of ’status updates’. I love Facebook and I love Twitter. However, TMI is TMI. There are ‘comments’ that scream “elephant in the room” and ’status updates’ that whisper “awkward turtle”. Let’s try to keep those to a minimum.

“Facebook etiquette rule #853,653: Do not write the details of your miscarriage in your Facebook status.” -VanidYam, aka: Amy Davin.

Your ‘friends’ thank you in advance for following this rule.

Sorry for the delay in blog posts. Those who follow me on Twitter would know I recently bought a motorcycle. A big blue Yamaha R6. Nice and sporty.
My 2 months with the bike were magical. No traffic, open road, the feeling of man and machine.

Yes, I realize they are all cheesy lines, but they are true. A bike just allows one more freedom on the road. This is true right up until the moment that you crash. Which I did, last Sunday. As it turns out, driving slightly faster than normal just before dawn is not the best idea ever, and it was doing this that I collided with a traffic circle and ended up unconscious in Atholl Road.

I should state at this point that I have had to work alot of this out from visiting the site and hearsay from people who found me, as I have absolutely no recollection of the accident or the 18 hours before. All I remember was waking up in Milpark ICU ward, feeling very dazed at about 9am.

What ensued was a day of annoying the nurses, as they could not sedate me due to my head injury and generally wondering around. I went home the next day at about 10 am, walked into the house and went to sleep, and continued to sleep almost the entire week that followed.

So what did I learn? What fabulous wisdom can I impart to others?
Bikes fall over. Fact. Try not ride it at times when you might not see things which make you fall over. Like Sunrise, or at night, or in the rain.
Spend money on a nice bike. Then spend LOTS of money on a nice helmut. I spent R4500 and I am still here, so point proven.
Jackets help. So do gloves and boots and probably riding pants. The only scratch I had was on my leg. It was also the only part of me not covered by protective gear.
Try stay conscious after your crash to remove your jacket. Although a bit sad and lame, I want to beat the paramedic who cut my jacket off. It was fine after the crash. No rips, tears or anything. It help my body together. So the paramedic kindly cut it in two. I liked that jacket.

Listening: ‘Books Written for Girls’ by Camera Obscura

Reading: This would completely eliminate some peoples Twitter accounts.

Thinking: Being a Christian means that the cycle of violence, hate, and retaliation stops with you. And sometimes that *really* sucks. But in the end, I know that it is right.

How to Annoy Me: Act like you are above someone simply because you are more skilled at the task at hand then they currently are.

How to Charm Me: Be the answer to my prayers without even knowing it.

Quote of the Day: It is more important who they are as people and only then is it important who they are as dancers. – Marcia Haydee

What really happens when you receive a chain mail

Graph by: EternoAprendiz via Graph Jam Builder

Nagging

Men can’t stand a woman who is a nag. This annoys men because men like to feel like they are the ones in charge. They don’t like to be told what to do, when to do it, or how it should be done. This is also when men find women the least attractive. A woman who isn’t very physically attractive but isn’t nagging a man will look better than a physically attractive woman who is nagging.

Negotiating with sex

Some women will sometimes use sex to try to negotiate to get things that they want. They will say things like “I’ll have sex with you if you buy me those shoes” or “ I’ll give you head if you pick my kids up from school”. This might seem like it wouldn’t annoy some men because they might think all I have to do is this or that and she will give me sex, but what annoys men is that it hurts their ego. When a woman is negotiating a man is thinking that she must not really like him that much if the only reason she will have sex with him is if he buys her some high heels. Sometimes a woman will even withhold sex if she isn’t getting her way. A woman might try to negotiate with her boyfriend and say “Your not getting any until you clean the garage”.

Expecting a Man to know what you’re thinking

A lot of men find it annoying when women expect them to know what they’re thinking. Men need things to be spelled out for them. A woman needs to say exactly what she means and mean exactly what she says. Talking to a man is like typing in a computer. If you typed the sentence “I went to the store” then you would see the sentence “I went to the store”. That is what you wrote and that is the message the computer received. You can’t yell and scream at the computer and say “ I meant to say I WENT TO THE BATHROOM why do I see the word store instead of bathroom. This computer should know what I mean.”

Dating Jerks

Most men will never fully understand why women love dating jerks. There are some men who do understand why women date jerks. No matter if a man understands or not they still find it annoying.

Getting your heart broken by a Jerk and then dating another Jerk

What annoys men most about this is that they don’t really want to believe some women are this stupid. Men think to themselves why would a woman do this. They wonder why hasn’t she learned her lesson. If a person put their hand on a hot stove and got burned they most likely wouldn’t do it again. Men are annoyed that some women not only touch the stove but also get into the oven.

Chick Logic

This probably is the thing that annoys most men about woman. Chick logic actually has nothing to do with logic. It all has to do with emotions and what the woman is feeling at the time so it usually doesn’t make sense. For example a woman might say “ I need to loose weight so I usually jog on the treadmill for 20 minutes but I didn’t do it today because my legs hurt and I can’t move them, but then I got bored laying on the couch so I decided to walk to the store because I was in the mood for some ice cream”. Men are annoyed by this because in order for things to make sense for a man he needs to apply logic to a situation. A man would say “Why are you walking to the store if your legs hurt and if your trying to loose weight why are you buying ice cream. (for more on chick logic read this article : http://mrlocario.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/mr-locarios-sex-dating-relationship-advice-understanding-chick-logic/

Blaming all Men

Men get annoyed for being blamed for things that other men may have done to a woman in the past. Some women will have encounters with a few men and assume that all men are like the few men they have been with.

For more relationship advice visit www.mrlocario.com