It seems as if even the mental health activists are” getting it”. These activists (some are consumers) talk about the mental health system’s “drop in” centers in Vermont. One person on the panel describes her abuse at these centers in detail. The more she talks the more she sounds targetted by the drop in centers.  I believe truly mentally ill people are targets as well.

The panel also attacks forced drugging and how the mental health system is used to keep a patient down instead of fostering recovery. The most interesting thing about this film is when a phone caller says that it’s only assumed mental illness is for “life”. For many of us, it’s a lifetime label to hold us down after a BRIEF period of lowered functioning usually caused by PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS. Being different should not be construed a person is “nuts” unless they cannot function at any reasonable level.

The woman who is complaining, Marge, may have been a highly intelligent woman who has been drugged out of her mind after being involuntarily committed do some poor life choice or another “way back when” and now she has such brain damage with drugs she sounds totally insane.

Another woman on the panel, whilst not being tops in fashion, is so intelligent I’m awed and humbled.  I hope she isn’t forced to take drugs.

I am a former “member” of one of those drop in communities and have visited another.  They are full of perps and are used to hold down ti’s that have had the misfortune of getting mental health labeling.  They can be an invaluable resource to a lonely person with a mental diagnosis but they have been infected with perp cancer.  The weakest members of the community are frequently scapegoated by “stronger” members and the “staff” does nothing.  Please see the On Gangstalking blog for more about abuse in institutional settings such as homeless shelters and homeless drop in centers.

It’s a common saying that the rich are “eccentric” and the poor are “nuts”.

Well, got you to LOOK, didn’t I?

Anorexia is the only disease people try and CATCH.  What if it was impossible to “catch” it via socialization, diet, genetics, etc? What if it was a mind control disease? Anorexics say they hear “voices” telling them not to eat and to over exercise. What if the “voices” were provided by our old enemies the perps? What if this is a soft-kill way to take out people that have to potential to become problems in a  New World Order prison society later?

It’s great! Get them thinking about food, weight and exercise all day! There is little time for school, friends, family and most importantly, thinking about the state of society and how to fix it.  Most anorexics are on the career track in life when this hits.  How utterly *strange*, too, is it that eating disorders are usually a response to a severe trauma or sometimes merely a comment that the ED sufferer finds traumatic.  Trauma training, behavior mod?  Sounds like perps at work.

It’s no mystery that overeating/overweight are associated with “poverty”.  It’s also no mystery that today’s processed foods promote obesity via corn syrups and MSG in a million sneaky forms.  To kill oneself via starvation must look glamorous and what better way than to associate it with young rich girls with glowing complexions and neon white teeth?

What if a system of reward/punishment could be set up via a V2k protocol that would get people to starve themselves to emaciation?  This protocol could deliver “rewards” via self validating “thoughts” and/or positive life experiences whilst losing too much weight for one’s size.  The system would also set up “punishments” for eating normally or at ALL with self condemnatory “thoughts” and and negative life experiences that went along with healthy behavior.  No wonder anorexics find it nearly impossible to recover!  Ordinary ti’s also have a huge trouble resisting the suggestions of the v2k without adequate shielding.

I read part of a book called Thin where a bunch of women are in the hospital for eating disorders.  (Remuda Ranch, a ritzy hospital in Florida). They are found along the age spectrum from early puberty through old age.  Did you know the ultimate status symbol amongst anorexics is to have the “tube” or portable feeding apparatus since they WILL NOT eat?  It almost sounds eerily attractive having to be FORCED to eat because one cannot.  No messy mealtimes, no stains on clothes no association with sensual food.  It’s perfection.  The nurse puts a can of Ensure or whatever into the opening and it’s contents shoot into the patient’s stomach.  They can live for years this way.  Of course, I’m sure they still smoke cigarettes and drink lots of coffee the ordinary way.

One of the patients in the book, the spirited Polly, has killed herself recently after a life of “self” torture and suicidal thoughts along with her ed.  She once created a suicide statement out of all the pills the medical establishment had her on.  Please see the illustration in the book.

I grew up middle class and think my initial ti protocol was to turn me anorexic but it failed because I have a rebellious nature and laughed at a “diet as a lifestyle” seeing it as an eternal punishment for “bad” people which I wasn’t, or so I thought, at least not bad enough to have to suffer through controlled starvation until I got to the perfect “size”, which happens to be dead.  I did not see why going through puberty and the body changes it caused would require me to be punished into only eating 800 calories a day!  No one could convince me this was right.

My mother spent 100s of dollars sending me to a diet place where the stupid assholes tried to put me on an 800 calorie a day plan!  It did not work.  My mother followed their plan for a while and looked like a graduate of Dachau but at least she got into “tiny” jeans for a few months.  I eat 800 calories by breakfast.  A “diet” breakfast consisted of like, a hardboiled egg and 1/2 piece of toast with black (elegant) coffee and a TABLESPOON of skim milk if you NEED it.  hahahahah welcome to the insane asylum.

My mother started telling me I was “too fat” even before I was one pound overweight.  I just didn’t look like the skeletal girls at my school who made it a habit to under-eat to wear a size 3 or 5.  I think it was a choice that she was given:  either let me have an eating disorder and the freaks would “let” me become a MARGINAL member of society (some friends, a support network, etc) or eat and become a TOTAL target.  No wonder she was always pushing the diets.  The only time she was ever very nice to me was when I was losing weight.  I found it sickeningly hypocritical of her actually.  I was angered by it but did not show it as it was the only way to gain her approval.  Nothing else that I accomplished was good enough.  Everything else didn’t make a dent.  She could tell if I gained ONE pound from week to week.  I started calling her the “walking scale”.  Not that she could get and stay thin, if she could, it may have made more of an impression on me.

I never got too close to being too thin on a diet but had begun to exhibit obsessive behavior on one of the first diets I was on, weighing several times a day, even several times in a few minutes and wanting to lose more weight than the counselor wanted me to.  For awhile, I knew the calories in hundreds of foods.  I went off the diet the day I hit “goal weight” so “ana” never happened to me.  Obesity became a problem later instead.

I once talked to a pastor’s wife about anorexia and she admitted that she and her husband got rid of many demons and strongholds of the devil but one they could not remove was anorexia. Girls at an anorexia clinic (which closed after wild accusations were flung) were asked to draw pictures of their anorexic experience. The pictures they drew were of devils and demons.

Were they real devils? Or the shriveled imaginations of our controllers? Only the smartest girls seem to get anorexia. All that starvation eventually kills brain cells. Dumbed down and obsessed with food, exercise and “beauty”, wow what a rout for the Nazi white male chauvinist pigs that really run these perp operations!

Peggy Claude Pierre opened a clinic in Canada in the late 80s.  Her unorthodox treatment which included non stop love for self hating anorexics/bulimics was closed down by the medical establishment by throwing lawyers at her.    Guess it’s because she wanted to show her patients they were worth something and had a reason to live NOT to run a gulag style program with rules and regulations like a prison and then to dope her patients to the gills while the pharma monster just got richer and richer peddling psych drugs.  The program closed in 2002? and had (I think) an outpatient program running until 2006? but no more.  The above link describes anorexics and also schizophrenics as people who still have access to their inner child and aren’t made into cookie cutter drones so they must be “destroyed” by psychiatry to conform or die.

Anorexic as conformist or anorexic as rebel?  Could it be both?

I went and read message boards on her program and her book and it seems people who actually KNEW her and her program say it saved lives:  the critics were people who never went near the place, and probably disgruntled employees.  I think traditional ED programs probably want to create “patients” (read ti’s) for life who need “therapy” and “meds” forever until they die of anorexia or live out their shortened natural lives.  Other times, “noncompliant” (read: refused “meds”) patients were refused admittance to ed programs after awhile and just sent home to DIE.  These people were the ones Claude Pierre treated and sometimes totally cured.

A “tell all” book came out on this clinic called Montreaux (the French and all those vowels!) that ripped the program to the ground.  Whether what happened in the book was true or not only the few people well heeled enough to attend the program or somehow got to work there know.  It seems to me the book smacks of jealousy and sour grapes.  I think the perp run medical establishment started to fear the truth would come out “why” these young girls were coming in weighing 50 pounds and wanting to die and then getting cured by LOVE not psych drugs and a prison atmosphere.

For more information on eating disorder programs, read Wasted by Mayra Hornbacher, a brilliant woman who survived her illness, and also Slim to None by Jennifer Hendricks about her daughter who eventually died after being in several ED programs and then being given up on by the system.  She ended being taken to a NURSING HOME to die in her early 20s.  She even did better there for a while but succumbed in the end.

I bet the perps  sit and laugh while these girls with all that potential go off to “treatment centers” where they are force fed and DRUGGED (of COURSE) out of their skulls. Naturally, most of them remain on the psych drugs and in “therapy” (read, handlers that report on them) the rest of their lives!

Bulimia is just as bad except it has the added component of wasting huge amounts of money on the binges and even resorting to crime to afford all that food. Also, all that vomiting might kill a target even faster than plain old anorexia which can keep a target “busy” for decades as long as they don’t starve to death. Do the controllers “let up” on the voices when they want a target NOT to die but merely to become a “chronic” case?

Some young women have a flirtation with ed’s in their teens and then never again:  is it because they “comply” in their thought life to an existence of mental slavery?  I think even my sister had a short fling with bulimia.  I knew an anorectic in my 20s who looked as if she might die (she was 80 pounds at 5′4″!) then she just gained back her weight and got on with her life (after sticking a knife in my back).  Guess “they” let her “recover”.

I wrote this post because it seems that this town is becoming a “center” of eating disorder treatment programs, it seems.  While programs in other states have closed down it seems business is thriving here.  An eating disorder center has opened up a mile away from me. I’m of the opinion there is more mind control here than other places due to the fact this will be an NWO center one day, also, a focus on fitness in the extreme in this area seems to create more ED people as well since if you are heavy in certain circles you are still seen as a failure.

Don’t forget that men increasingly get eating disorders and die or anorexia.  Could ed’s be used as social control for men as well?

Still, I wonder if it brings some kind of twisted peace of mind having “ana” as a friend all the time every day.  Concentrating on food and calories and weight and exercise would tie up all that time I use thinking how evil the perps are and how screwed I am in life.  Wow, like the anas, I could be ruminating on how horrible I am and how I deserve to die because I’m FAT.  Maybe the perps should have made me an anorexic……

Rhoda Hahn (Psychiatrist) gives expert video advice on:

1. What is “schizotypal personality disorder”?
2. What are the signs of schizotypal personality disorder?
3. What causes schizotypal personality disorder?
4. What are the dangers of schizotypal personality disorder?
5. Who is at risk for schizotypal personality disorder?
6. What are the treatments for schizotypal personality disorder?

Here is another film on drugging children!  I can see the sinister aspect of this as a way to damage to brains of children they see as too bright to accept being two legged livestock for the NWO.  For almost frivolous reasons, schools give a child drugs and a label and chemically lower their intelligence.  The “reason” is never the one given.

Did you know the government pays off schools and even low income parents in order for kids to take drugs?  Watch this film.

There is another story of a child dragged off by police and the mother abused and imprisoned  for refusing to give the child drugs.

Ritalin is related to crystal meth.  Why so many meth/crack addicts?  They are used to “being on speed”!

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were on psychiatric drugs and their behavior changed AFTER they were put on drugs.  Antidepressants which were seen as a “miracle cure” 20 years ago cause children to be violent.

I was “put on drugs” as a teen and know the nightmare scenario.  I ended up in the state hospital with my parents relinquishing custody to the state (temporarily) after a suicide attempt due to the despondent depression caused by antipsychotic drugs prescribed by an overzealous psychiatrist after consulting her because I was having trouble making friends.  I ended up a high school dropout with a psychiatric label and a sense of underachievement.  Leaving the hospital before I was officially discharged (snerk snerk) may have cause me to be submitted for targetting.  I never liked to “comply” without a reason.

The Schizotypal Personality Disorder Coming Into Treatment:

Countertransference Issues

Treatment Techniques

Treatment Goals

In an outpatient treatment setting, this author has seen individuals with StPD develop connections to others that, while impoverished and rather fragile, were of considerable value to the individuals involved. Their investment in the social contact provided the impetus needed for them to learn and practice social skills and appropriate interpersonal behavior.

A new report outlines flaws in the hospital care of dementia patients

It comes just a week after the news broke that patients with dementia are being prescribed antipsychotics inappropriately and the subsequent side effects lead to 1,800 deaths a year.

Dementia, is the global impairment of mental functioning, this occurs in a clear consciousness and is usually progressive.

The condition is usually caused by cerebrovascular disease (a problem with the blood vessels in the brain e.g. a stroke) or Alzheimer’s, the cause of Alzheimer’s is unknown but it is likely to be due to genetic factors.

Dementia affects a person’s memory and causes them to become disorientated, the person’s awareness is lost and the disease also changes a person’s personality and behaviour.

The combination of symptoms places pressure on the staff responsible for the care of dementia patients.

The report form the Alzheimer’s Society outlines failures in the care of dementia patients and was determined by questionnaires from over 2,000 carers and nurses.

It stated that people with dementia occupy 1 in 4 hospital beds and they stay longer in hospital than patients without dementia. Not only does this cost the NHS but it has a negative effect on the patients symptoms and physical health.

More than 1 in 3 dementia patients are discharged to a care home despite living at home prior to admission.

1 in 4 nurse managers and nursing staff felt antipsychotic drugs were inappropriately prescribed.

Carer’s determined the main problems were, a lack of:

• Understanding of dementia by staff
• Individual care
• Help with eating and drinking
• Social interaction
• Involvement in decision making
• Dignity and respect

Nursing staff felt the main concerns were:

• Managing difficult behaviour
• Communicating
• A lack of time to spend with patients

The report suggests that the number of people with dementia being cared for in hospitals should be reduced. This means funding should shift into community care.

It also suggests carers, friends and family should be involved in the care and decision making process. And a individual care plan should exist for each patient, which focuses on the patients likes and dislikes.

Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Want to know the side effects of these drugs: antidpressants, anti-psychotics, psychostimulants (ADHD drugs and the like), and more?  Why shoud I tell you about the side effects of psychiatric drugs when experts can tell you this in the brand new, first ever, searchable database.  Check it out!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDdA7WPgeDM or visit
Psychiatric Drug Side Effects Search Engine

OK, here’s a question: does anyone know what this is? I do, do you? If not, find out. It’s one of the latest tools the psychnazis are using to control us.

Here’s a very good site I’ve found. I need to take the time to start reading it all…

The first time I saw it, it reminded me of a food lever in an animal’s cage.  Sort of like something that would be used in an experiment to see how often the animal would reach for the food or other stimuli.  Of course, we are little better than animals to the perp shit and the psychiatrists that kiss their asses.

Here is a film about the evil corrupt psych drug industry, how they get the doctors to prescribe so many drugs and what it does to innocent victims. Check out the new psychiatric screening schools are now requiring. The reason people seem stupid and controlled is that they are! More people than ever are being doped into submission or worse.  Why would they care if we are being targetted?  They are coked to the gills on psychiatric dope.  The film fails to make the connection between rampant overuse of psych drugs and the deliberate doping of the population for mass control.  They essentially say to complain to the government about the shrinks out of control when it’s the government that set up “teen screening” in schools.  Pay particular attention to the case of the girl who was force drugged and taken from her parents.  CPS was WAITING at the school to grab kids who failed psych screening.  This is the future.

Seems as if my friend from a much earlier post (almost a year ago today, how is that for timing) is back on forced psych meds. Wish I could tell her that the more she goes on them the more her healthy brain becomes a schizophrenic brain on that shit as it shrinks the cortex. It’s almost a ritual now. Formerly quite stable, she has been regularly in and out of the hospital since 2007, when our friendship pretty much ended (we stopped doing things together and I we did not stay at each other’s houses). I think her perps stress her more since there is no voice of rebellion against the psychiatric establishment in her life to keep the shrinkers out of her life as much as possible. The only “good” thing she gets out of all of it is that she goes to “groups” all week long and has made a few “friends” (handlers) who will “turn” on her in time for her next “crisis” (read: forced med session). If this is the way she wants to live her life she joins thousands if not millions of others on the psycho shit rollercoaster. I met tons of these people living in a psychiatric halfway house and being a “consumer” at a “mental heath center”. They always said I was sooo “high functioning” (guess it’s because I’m not psychotic you dickheads). At least they put her on *another* antipsychotic this time, not the one she was on before. Also, she has a parent who wishes to commit her for life somewhere, I have a feeling, and he is all for her being unstable. He plays emotional games with her whenever she contacts him and is one of the main reasons she has setbacks. I’ve told her not to contact him so much and become independent of the “apron strings”, but she still thinks he has the magic solution (read: $) whenever something goes wrong in her life despite loads of evidence to the contrary. If anything goes wrong, it’s like, “Da-a-a-ad, help meee.” She’s way too old for that. I would like to tell her, if she reads this, that antipsychotics take 10 to 20 years off your life, if you were planning on being old someday, and the quality of that life is shitty being wracked with the multitudinous side effects of antipsychotic drugs. Besides that, having a “flat affect” and sleeping 14 hours a night is not good for one’s self image.

What she really needs is to lose weight, get some real clothes, and to meet a man, not fall for every psychiatrist the state sends her!  She needs to find stability from within herself because the clowns surrounding her will not provide it for her.  She needs to start praying and reading the Bible again too.  She needs to read more and watch TV less and not tell everyone her business.  She needs to grow a backbone, but who am I?

I knew way back in 2005 that they were setting her up for a fall, and I was right (sigh).  The only thing different with her now is she is now set for a lifetime on antipsychotics and much less independent than ever before.  I wish she could develop the discernment to see that everyone who is “nice” to her in not her “friend” and that everyone who is “tough” with her is not her enemy.

I do wonder sometimes. As I go thru life merely existing in a kind of punishment mode the perps created for me and watch life go on all around me and know I cannot participate, and now realize there is no one to complain to, I wonder if I died, am dead, extinct, expired, expiration date passed.

Right after or before this shit started, I took a plane ride. Did the plane really land? Did it crash and I forgot I’m dead? One of the few friends I had in this world had committed suicide when I was gone. This greeted me when I got back. I didn’t really notice the targetting until a few months later, but, looking back, I can see it’s early manifestations. Is this a special punishment mode for hellbound souls who are “not quite bad enough” for the fire/brimstone/demon routine? This was years before I was “saved”. Was I really “saved”? Is this a delusion from the demons assigned to me to create a plausible world for me to live in whilst they punish my soul at leisure?

Right after it started, the few people who cared about me in this world started dying one by one leaving me no one who really cared. Did the people who *seemed* to care really care? Was that a delusion? Did I die as a teen?

Slowly but surely the few places/situations where I would receive any human warmth/emotion/sympathy/empathy dwindled and died. Everywhere it was replaced by coldness and “perping”. Even in church. God said that “hearts would grow cold” in Matthew. Sounds good to me.

With the advent of cell phones, even my illusion of privacy died. Everyone around me would whip out the phone if I showed up. Soon, everyone was using the same taunt, whispered to me as I went by. It seemed the whole city was occupied by machines or demons. It seemed as if my life was a lie, a delusion, a mere show put on for my everlasting punishment. To get any peace at all, I found I had to isolate myself, futher disconnecting from the society that seemed determined to disown me.

With the discovery of this kind of stalking/harassment/mental death/mind control/deliberate regression/infantalization process on the Web my whole life fell in. I had a nervous breakdown without having a nervous breakdown. I know I could not show up at a hospital or therapists office with this story as I already knew what would happen from hard experience in other situations. Out would come the schizo pills. So I hid my anguish the best I could but it came out anyway. The last scraps of human interaction I had were destroyed. I had the surety I needed to know no one was to be trusted. I isolated more, I cried a lot. I reached out to other targets on the Web to find most of them seemed to be informants for the enemy and/or unwilling to interact with me because they said their targetting “increased” when they interacted with me. What, their targetting did not “increase” when they interacted with other targets? Why just me? It seemed I was the center of this nightmare. All my online friends were covertly “eating cheese” as it were.*

It seems like life is a big reality show and everyone plays their “part”. People act out “work”, “play”, “church”, “family time”, “vacations”, “birth”, “death”, “marriage”…all just a play. It’s d0ne by rote, without feeling. It’s done automatically because if the parts aren’t played and the lines not uttered you are in “violation” and will be “punished”. I don’t want to lend any validation to those debunkers who say that ti’s have “Truman Show Syndrome” which is the “newest” syndrome in the DSM Book of Lies, though, and of COURSE can be readily and conveniently treated with the latest “no side effects” neuroleptic brain death pills supplied by the hydraheaded Big Pharm to keep everyone dumbed down to the level of controllable human pet. This is no Truman Show. This is reality for thousands if not millions of innocent citizens who suffer in silence for years and decades on end with the only outlet being these blogs that are read mainly only by other targets, perp handlers, and other apparatai of the Machine.**

I still wonder though…how can it be real? How can there be no comfort. Even praying is scant comfort, as my mind is read and prayers are “answered” by perps. The Word of God is void when Word says only “God” “knows your heart” as the perps seem to know even more than God does. Where is the comfort? The fellowship with God? The fellowship with other Christians? The few “Christians” I’ve met are shills for the enemy using their “life story” and “faith” to draw me and and set me up for even more pain. Is this how it was supposed to be? It can’t be. Even in Paul’s depth of hardship and privation he had fellowship with God. His Roman handlers could not read his mind. He didn’t have armies of paid stalkers shadowing his movements and putting on skits for his misery. Even Jesus’ suffering on the Cross along with the torture and everything else lasted only hours. Were those hours like an Eternity?

I have felt the loss of fellowship with God and the inability to pray/enjoy the Bible, etc for YEARS. It must be Hell, no one bothered to tell me I’m dead, that’s all…

I took lots of risks when young, maybe one of them didn’t work out. Maybe I wasn’t “blessed” and “protected” by God. Maybe I angered God when young and never even had the chance to be “saved”. I wasn’t that nice a person, but neither was anyone that nice to me. Even then, I felt people were not acting in my best interests and my “parents” “advice” was poor and just designed to demoralize me and not help at all.

I go out and everyone is in on it. Cars go by with sneering staring perps. Perps walk by with dirty looks saying ugly things under their breath. Store clerks are rude. I see cops all the time. People will go out of their way to try and engage me in conversation but I know it’s fake even before I begin, just another way to info gather that the complete surveillance/brain interface/constant personal attack tactics of the perps cannot acheive. They want me to relax, feel comfortable around someone…think I’ve found a “friend”. I have fallen for this crap too many times. I took one in my home last year. What a mistake.

How long will the fakery last before I’m dropped into the fire along with the other sinners? I can already feel the seperation from God. The world seems dead, cold, FAKE from here. I’m beginning to smell it’s a fraud. I sit in the one religious service I go to and the stench of fire is clinging to every smirking face. God would never let the world go so far into evil that it seemed a suburb of Hell, or would He? He allowed the Holocaust and the mass murders of Stalin and Mao even before I was born. Most of those victims of atrocities were atheists who really believed the life they had was it, or Jews, who did not believe in Salvation and were unclear on the Afterlife. I forgot Pol Pot, his demonic activities along with Idi Amin’s were more recent.  Is all the “history” I know a fake as well? Are all the wars, slaughters, diseases, storms all just a construct of my demonic handlers? Life is sure cheap on this planet. Humans are surely not God’s “chosen” race. Are other sentinents even worse?

The only answer I have is that the End is here and hearts have truly gone cold. Real human emotion is very rare and usually extinct in the life of a ti. The ti becomes cold himself, regressed, infantalized, dulled to evil, either a potential suicide or perp recruit. Any ti who resists the dehumanizing gets punished more or taken out. The future of a psycho-civilized infantalized stupid race of human pets is upon us. People will be medicated, numbed and controlled from cradle to grave. Learning and scholarship will die except if the learning has to do with even more technology to further animalize humans. School will be a place of indoctrination, a place to learn to conform and “get along”. Learning, even at the “college” level will be truly minimal. Your whole life will be planned and chosen by the controllers even before you are born.

People will follow fashion, music, movies and reality shows for their “religion”. Evangelical religion and any other fundamental religion is only used as a very complex babysitting service to control those whose lives went haywire using the substances that are supposed to be “illegal” but are supplied from the same people who prohibit them. Those who refuse to imbibe substances and get into the prison/recovery/religious path will be given eating disorders to take up their precious time. Others will be made to spend endless hours at mindless “jobs”. Others will spend hours online or in front of the television, the main brainwash tool. A few will be allowed to pursue what seem to be real careers in business, or the arts. Even THEY will be controlled and any disobedience promptly punished.

The evangelical religions will be run by high level handlers of the controllers. Any “convert” who thinks for themselves will be put “out” of their churches. The pious who spew Scripture will be the chief ones of satan behind the scenes. The Religion of the Twelve Steps will be provided for those who resist traditional religion. Otherwise, out of control, non psycho civilized, non pet humans who have gone “wild” on substances or even THOUGHT will be put in jails/halfway houses/mental institutions/or in the famous prison without bars, targetting.

Who knows when the Earth ceased to be a place for humans to be born, grow, thrive and develop are relationship with God? It was before I was born. May the memory of those who got into bed with the Nazis after the war to control the “free” American people be blotted out forever.

*By “eating cheese” I mean ratting me out, not being French, nor being some kind of unpatriotic traitor per the Republican Party.  A rat “eats cheese”…where is the most cheese made in the US?

**in other words, non-targets with hostile intent being assigned to read this and other blogs to take the temperature, as it were of the targets inner mental state where the conventional mind reading processes and the V2k harassment, gangstalking, created reality protocol could not quite reach.

It’s waaay too quiet here.  No v2k..there is some subliminal or in the head v2k where it sounds like my thoughts, but almost no audible v2k.  Something’s up.

Here is an article on the overuse of antipsychotics in children.  Just now, they are questioning it.  The “doktors” are prescribing this shit like candy for “hyperactivity” which is not a disease anyway, or “pediatric bipolar” which is becoming a very COMMON diagnosis.  There can’t be that many lunatics around.  Guess they want to “psychocivilize” and dope us all up for our own “good”.  Those drugs cause permanent brain damage and can turn a normal brain into a schizophrenic brain on top of causing a host of side effects including diabetes and permanent facial tics.  Lovely.  Go to hell. spychiatrists.

Today I just made a discovery:  in two places where I’ve lived:  the apartment where I live now and the apartment I rented in the 1990s are almost right next door to fancy lodging.  In my old efficiency apartment the hotel was right next door, now, in my current apartment I have an understated but elegant B and B a block away.  Since my “neighbors” on this block rarely move, the need to move “fresh” personnel and equipment arises.  Also I do not notice where my “neighbors” shack up these parasites to freedom.  They must be staying at the hotel.  My “neighbors” are still perps that watch me and I recognize their voices on my V2k sometimes, but, I’m thinking some of the operation is carried on at the hotel.

I followed a giant “perp white” truck to the B and B.  I was watching the truck anyway because it lingered too long at an intersection and did that weird indescribable driving that only perps do (like they are spies in a movie?) so I decided to see if the truck’s occupants were hanging around to break into my apartment when I left.  I followed the truck to the B and B where they were parked at the entrance checking in? for a long time.  Then, they drove s-l-o-w-l-y off and turned away from the hotel and the apt.  I didn’t see them parked around the B and B anywhere later so I assume they went out to tuck in an expensive dinner or rent some porn or something until the mind reading olympics begin later on.  The woman in the passenger seat looked like my estranged sister.  Do you think she came to “visit” me????  OMFG!!!  The bitch.  Doubtful.

Back to the topic, I think a study on another facet of Atlas Shrugged would be good.  I might include a small fragment of the “Morality of Death” at the end, but, I think Galt’s Speech, paragraph by paragraph is pretty dry.  I need to jazz it up and make it exciting.  I could create “characters” that Galt speaks to as if in a personal conversation but over the airwaves, or, we could pretend Galt had them in a room by themselves…The Morality of Life could be Howard Henry Hughes after 3 of the main heroes from Fountainhead/Atlas Shrugged:  Howard Roark, Henry Rearden and Hugh Akston.  We’ll call him H³.  I could call the Morality of Death Lucius Leon Lilly after the devil, a little perp I have had to put up with, and the company that makes Prozac® and that horrible concoction Cymbalta® that introduces antidepressant users to antipsychotic drugs…ewwww.  He’ll be called the Third or III.  The compromiser in the middle could be called Jake Liberman after Jacob in the Bible who struggled with sin against God and hatred for his brother, and Joe Lieberman after the biggest pussy and excuse for a former Democrat (behind Ben Nighthorse Campbell) there ever was.  (Maybe he even contributed to Kerry’s 2004 loss, along with Ralph Nader, maybe.  Of course, all “elections” are planned in advance by the World Powers anyway).

Today, I’d like to look at the three sacrificial lambs of Atlas Shrugged.  Eddie Willers, Tony the “wet nurse”, and Cheryl, Jim Taggart’s wife.  Each of these characters suffer greatly in this world for their moral principles.  They are not the major heroes but each one sacrifices his very life for morality and individuality.

Eddie suffers for love, Tony suffers when he wakes up from being brain dead and can no longer serve the looters, and Cheryl suffers for her innocence and purity concerning her husband Jim and the world at large.  I see Cheryl being most like a ti who first realizes what is happening to them and cannot handle it and has no tools to fight it nor the perseverance to “just stick around” and see what happens.  She forgets that she has forged a new relationship with Dagny who could help her, and ends up in a blow-out scene of self-destruction.  Let us examine each character individually.

In the beginning of Atlas Shrugged, Eddie has a portent for the future.  He remembers a tree being struck by lightning when he was a child and later notices it is rotten to the core and only the outer bark/wood had held it up.  It is a profoundly traumatic experience for him and he never speaks of it.  He passes the tree again at the start of the book. The tree represents the USA on the brink of death:  rotten to the core with rings of rot spreading  outwards until the whole trunk is eaten by its cancer.

“It lay broken in half, and he looked into its trunk as into the mouth of a black tunnel.  The trunk was only an empty shell:  its heart had rotted away long ago;  there was nothing inside–just a thin gray dust that was being dispersed by the whim of the faintest wind.  the living power was gone, and the shape it left had not been able to stand without it…his shock came when he stood very quietly looking inot the black hole of the trunk.  It was an immense betrayal–the more terrible because he could not grasp what had been betrayed…He never spoke about it to anyone then or since.”

Eddie is madly yet patiently in love with Dagny since early childhood:  his love for her weathers her 3 loves and never dies.  He dies with it.  He is the person who talks to Galt (who poses as a common worker) in the cafeteria when Galt, lovesick over Dagny himself, goes to check up on her covertly.

In the beginning of the book he is 33 years old and 45 at the end.  He works for Dagny and is one of the last if not the last moral person to work for Taggart Transcontinental.  He has to take crap from his childhood nemesis, Jim Taggart, who is also his boss, and watch his childhood friend Francisco D’Anconia, take Dagny as a lover before Galt does later on after her affair with Henry Rearden.  He keeps getting kicked but never gives up until the end when all is lost (unless Galt comes and rescues him) and he collapses sobbing on the train tracks waiting for the desert to kill him since his train has broken and all the other passengers have left in a COVERED WAGON train, a final indignity for modern Eddie.  He is like many other fighters of evil:  he goes until he can’t anymore and just dies on the spot hoping his service will earn him his Reward (from an imaginary God?  Let’s hope not).

Tony is a common figure on the American landscape then and now:  he is a bright, liberal “college boy” who decides to spend a life working for the government, or some sort of human service charity.  In Atlas Shrugged he materializes as the government’s representative at Rearden’s factory to see that Rearden follows all the government’s endless regulations regarding the production of his Steel.  Something starts happening to Tony “the wet nurse”, however.  He observes Rearden and becomes a believer!  He has an intellectual/moral awakening and acts at the last minute to try and defend the factory from looter-hired thugs taking part in violence concerning a pay raise.  He loses his life in a tear wrenching scene cradled in Rearden’s arms.

His death is doubly tragic because as he is dying in agony he realizes he wants to live.  Rearden had become a father to him and Tony was there with him at the factory every day as Rearden himself had an awakening to what was going on around him and how he was being taken advantage of by his family and the government.  Two on a journey:  one does not make it, the other triumphs in the end displaying his role as hero in the rescue of John Galt.  Henry becomes what Tony cannot.

 Rearden is a calm patient man who kept his anger to himself but the rage and grief he felt at Tony’s death shows how his thought process develops him into the man he becomes.

“He walked, as if this were his form of last tribute and funeral procession for the young life that had ended in his arms.  He felt an anger too intense to identify except as a pressure within him:  it was a desire to kill.

The desire was not directed at the unknon thug who had sent a bullet through the boy’s body, or at the looting bureaucrats who had hired the thug to dit it, but at the boy’s teachers, who had delivered him disarmed, to the thug’s gun–at the soft safe assassins of college classrooms who, incompetent to answer the queries of a quest for reason, took pleasure in crippling the young minds entrustued to their care.  REMEMBER, REARDEN HAS NO SCHOOLING AND STARTS IN A COAL MINE.  HE IS ESPECIALLY HORRIFIED AT THE STATE OF “EDUCATION”.

 Somewhere, he thought, there was this boy’s mother, who had trembled with protective concern over his groping steps, while teaching him to walk, who had measured his baby formulas with a jeweler’s caution, who had obeyed with a zealot’s fervor the latest words of science on his diet and hygiene, protecting his unhardened body from germs–then had sent him to be turned into a tortured neurotic by the men who taught him that he had no mind and must never attempt to think.  Hd she fed him tainted refuse, he though, had she mixed poison into his food, it would have been more kind and less fatal.

He thought of all the living species that train their young in the art of survival, the cats who teach their kittens to hunt, the birds who spend such strident efforts on teaching their fledglings to fly–yet man, whose tool of survival is the MIND, does not merely fial to teach a child to think, but devotes the child’s education to the purpose of destroying his brain, of convincing him that thought is futile and evil, before he has started to think.

From the first catch-phrases flung at a child to the last, it is like a series of shocks to freeze his motor, to undercut the power of his consciousness.  ‘Don’t ask too many questions, children should be seen and not heard!’ OR, YOU HAVE 2 EARS AND ONLY ONE MOUTH REMEMBER THAT.  ‘Who are you to think?  It’s so because I said so!’ (MAY FAVORITE) ‘Don’t try to understand, believe.’  ‘Don’t rebel, adjust,’ ‘Don’t stand out, belong,’ ‘Don’t struggle, compromise,’ ‘Your heart is more important than your mind,’ ‘Who are you to know?  Your parents know best,’ ‘Who are you to know, society knows best,’–’Who are you to know?  The bureaucrats know best!’–’Who are you to object?  All values are relative!’–’Who are you to want to escape a thug’s bullet?  That’s only personal prejudice!’

Men would shudder, he thought, if they saw a mother bird plucking the feathers from the wings of her young, then pushing himout of the nest to struggle for survival–yet that was what they did to their children.

Armed with nothing but meaningless phrases, this boy had been thrown to fight for existence, he had hobbled and groped thorugh a brief, doomed effrt, he had screamed his indignant, bewildered protest–and had perished in his first attempt to soar on his mangled wings.

But a different breed of teachers had once existed, he thought, and had reared the men who created this country;  he thought that mothers should set out on their knees to look for men like Hugh Akston, to find them and beg them to return.”

The third sacrificial lamb is Cheryl Taggart.  Cheryl is a nice girl from a poor family.  She flees to the city for a better life.  She is also very intelligent yet very naive and innocent of the ways of the world.  She falls for Jim Taggart as he visits the shop where she works.  He sees her as a “pity date”, and, later, as his “waif wife” who will remain quiet and innocent for him–while Cheryl sees Jim as her Hero until she marries and lives with him for awhile.  As she settles in with him she sees his “feelings” for the poor are just projections of his “poor” self.  She sees his cowardice and is beginning to rethink her anger towards Dagny.

Here I will stop for a second to save.  Don’t want to lose this to perp magic.  shazzaam. poof.  Just like a post I had awhile back.

So, you are stuck with me and my telling of Ellsworth Toohey’s eviiiil according to me and the nice professor at the ARI website…lions and tigers and tooheys…

Get me Howard Roark!!!!  I want his ass nao!!!!

….but I never think about you, Ellsworth

I.  Toohey is a bad boy

Toohey is (according to Bernstein) one of the nastiest villians in the history of literature.  He is considered a “worthy foe” of Roark, just like the devil and his little helpers the perps are “worthy foes” of mine.  Toohey is a larger than life villian but yet he is a parasite and needs a host to survive.  Perps need the misery and surveillance of their ti’s to survive or their lives are just empty shells.  Toohey and the perps are just like a virus.  Does a virus survive without a host?  Toohey ALSO needs others to be his parasites so he can run their lives.  He cripples people mentally and makes them dependent on him.  He is the early prototype of the cult leaders of the 1960s, 1970s and on.

When people lose their independence, they need a “leader” to fill their lives up with endless routines and rituals.  A perp leader demands total obedience and an underling perp gets to be a child again (I’m guessing here).  Toohey leads his weakend charges down a garden path to communism and fascism.  Strangely enough though, Toohey does not want to be the “fuhrer” but second or third in command when the takeover occurs as he wishes to be safely away from the violence.

As an “intellectual”, Toohey is probably more of a communist.  Nazism attracted the common people, wheras, communism attracted the “intellegentsia” of their time.  A communist dictator cannot use a Roark type person, whereas a fascist dictator may, if he played his cards right.  Rand was probably warning of an impending dictatorship in the US even though it was supposed to be harder to do it here than other places.

The tactics used are fear and psychological dependence.  These are used in Atlas Shrugged to create the communist type dictatorship that appears towards the end of the book.

Actually, Toohey is the WEAKEST person in the book.  He is a totally social animal and no individual.  He has no physical job skills to rely on.  He could not get a manual job if he had to.  He also has no passion, and no love and no way to feel deeply.  He cannot understand the relationship between Dominique and Roark as it develops since he cannot feel love.

 #2  TOOHEY, THE ULTIMATE VILLIAN

Ellsworth Toohey is a man full of power lust.  He uses terror against his victims and his would be followers that goes against reality but no one notices.  He keeps his power through his minions, or his well-known friends, all over the city in many professions.  He says to others that the only way to be in life is to be an altruist and that the only self worth a person can have is to sacrifice yourself to others.  He would prefer you would sacrifice yourself to him because he’s out to lunch and cannot find himself, so he will borrow you until HE gets back, if ever.

In the end Toohey must abandon reason.  It was never his friend anyhow and he never met God, either…so what is a Toohey to do?  He must conquer YOU and everyone else he meets or he’s dead meat.  He runs on schemes and plots and gossip to control others and get what he wants.  Just like the perps run lives all over this town and your town and every town on Earth now.  Toohey, like perps, has power over people, not nature.  (today’s controllers can control nature as well, but that was 1957 before most of the tech used against us today was invented).  Toohey has no control over his damaged body nor his damaged mind:  He only has power over people and weak people like Keating fall under his spell!

Toohey has neither physical nor real mental power to create a thing.  He is the guy who cannot sew on a button nor make TOAST.  (this could be said about many guys, however). 

“Toohey” types can control weak “selves” as well through intrigue and gossip destroying careers along the way.  This is what he does to Steve Mallory.  Toohey cannot destroy a true Roark.  Only a police state can do that.  Society is doing it now to its smartest and brightest.  If you target your brightest individuals with OS and EH, both of which are easily deniable, you can get rid of any intelligent person you want to.  IQ screening was common for school age children when I was a kid, is it still now?  We would all take these hokey standardized tests EVERY YEAR that seemed so stupid at the time as well..wonder if they were looking for people who were “too smart”, not seeing how the school was doing teaching the children.   In a police state, a man like Roark would be the first guy in the concentration camp.

In a dictatorial state, original thought is supressed and the only art that is available is repeats of what was done in the past in art, music, theater, film, fashion, etc…Can you see it happening now?  What is truly new out there now?  The news media is full of sensation but very little substance. If any person has an original idea and is not under direct control of the controllers the controllers will find a way to steal the idea even if it’s just a daydream of the person.  Mind reading is real today and can be done.  A ti’s thoughts come out on a screen just like someone was typing a letter.  Just don’t tell your family, friends, or the authorities your mind is being read because they’ve just been waiting for you to say that in order to lock you up and drug you to oblivion.

These parasites can get “free” ideas for songs, books, movies, TV shows and art to obtain “work” for the controlled puppets that work as entertainers in the system to release as their own.  Do you think that some of those dumbasses that are in entertainment today could order a f*cking extra value meal on their own?  I talked to a woman who SWORE her songs that she wrote were being stolen right out of her head.  I thought she was nuts:  now, I’m not so sure.  

The ultimate Tooheyism or vampirism is mind reading.  They also manage to take the energy and light of their victim making a ti tired and miserable most of the time since the perps have no light of their own.  The ti dies an early death unsung and unknown and the perp vampires who use the work (intellectual property known as thoughts and ideas) off the tis live and prosper well into their 90s and even 100s.  There is a certain class of entertainers/politicians that live a very long time and rarely get ill.  I read a post on a forum that said that these elites sucked off the misery of their victims to get a charge which then made them have more energy and longer lives.  I mean, why is Henry Kissinger still alive?  Sounds insane, but this world is insane.  Even “normal” people do this…why do you think there is so much negative press on certain celebrities today, and why do you think people gang up on people on these trashy talk shows like Jerry Springer and start chanting and cheering at someone they don’t like?  It’s the same thing on a smaller scale.   It happens to ti’s all the time when a perp is rude to a ti in public, gets a reaction, and then tells everyone at the scene that the ti is crazy and was mean to them, etc…then “everyone” at the scene is “against” the ti and seem to get a charge out of it.  I remember years ago at my old job when my co workers got me to tears how the WHOLE OFFICE seemed to have a charge to it…I had the feeling everyone was TOTALLY ENJOYING me being miserable.

Luckily for Roark, he does NOT live in today’s society and his ideas for buildings CANNOT be sucked out of his head NOR hacked out of his computer NOR can his conversations be listened to on his cell phone since he neither has a cell phone nor a computer.  Roark’s value quest and his fight against Toohey and his “peeps” controlls the plot of the story.  For some reason, Roark does not even suffer much with his setbacks.  No one calls Roark “poor Howard”.  Roark would just laugh at that one.  Henry Cameron suffers, though, and is much like contemporary ti’s in that the perps barbs do hurt.  Most men are not islands and will suffer when society rejects them.  How can we all be selves like Roark, not get hurt, and still operate in a society full of people?  I bet the perps would not want us to find out that one.

***I think I might be putting myself way out there with this post…the police kept on flying over with a helicopter, the neighbor kids are putting on a noise campaign, and the “neighbors” keep shouting threats from a backyard a few doors down.  Even passersby are being really “noisy” tonight, just shouting to themselves or into their cell phones.  Guess I hit a nerve.

Next time, Rand’s style of writing…

My heart is aching.  I’m all alone.  I will die alone.

I finally got ahold of that “friend” I blogged about before who had that problem with the hospital.  She wants nothing to do with me.  This is after she got screwed by the system.  I asked her why she was still so cold to me and she gave me some weak ass excuse about something that happened 3 years ago.  I begged her to put me off her “call block” she said “no”.  All I could think of in my head while I talked to her was “ice cold bitch”  and “evil bitch”.  She said I could come over sometime and help her find something she can’t find if she remembers to call me.  Thanks but no.

I can see thru that old excuse.  She must have been blackmailed by the perps to leave me alone.  She must surely know by now that her father really does not want to contact her and it has nothing to do with me!

She as much admitted in the phone call that she has no friends now and just spends time alone and in “therapy”, but she still remains cold to me.  That “friend” that broke us up is long gone.  She still keeps in occasional “touch” with her by phone because I believe she has her eyes on the prize:  my friend’s tiny bit of money–and she won’t give up until she is made power of attorney and has it!

I tried to call my sister, she did not return my call.  Cold bitch.  The Lord said that “hearts would grow cold”.  I am not evil or a monster.  The perps and the people in my life make me feel like one.

I got perped the hell out of yesterday when I went out.  Tons of skits.  Evil shits.  It seemed half the people I saw yesterday were perps doing skits on me.  I was getting shit on EVERYWHERE.  When I was a block from home, I saw a man “just happening by” ahead of me.  He sat down.  I thought, “another perp”.  I yelled out loud “no more perping, I mean it, no more.”  I was gonna get physical I swear.  It must have been something in his voice but he walked off for some reason without making a sound.

The world renowned Dr. Joseph Biederman, Professor of Psychiatry and Child Psychiatrist at Harvard University; and Chief of Clinical and Research and in Pediatric Psychopharmacology and Chief of the Adult ADHD Program at Massachusetts General Hospital, who sparked Pediatric Bipolar Disorder, was exposed by Congressional Investigators and the New York Times for not reporting much of the $1.6 million he collected from drug manufacturers from 2000 – 2007 until just recently.  The figure could be higher because in one example, Dr. Biederman reported no income from Johnson & Johnson for 2001 in a disclosure report filed with the university. When asked to check again, he said he received $3,500. But Johnson & Johnson told Congressional Investigator, Mr. Grassley, that it paid him $58,169 in 2001. 

Two of Biederman’s colleagues in the psychiatry department at Harvard Medical School received an additional $2.6 million from drug companies from 2000 to 2007. Biederman and his colleagues violated rules meant to police conflicts of interest, according to Senator Charles Grassley, R-Iowa.  They failed to report income from drug companies while receiving federal funds from the National Institutes of Health (NIH).  Senator Grassley stated, “Obviously, if a researcher is taking money from a drug company while also receiving federal dollars to research that company’s product, then there is a conflict of interest.”

The New York Times stated, “The Harvard group’s consulting arrangements with drug makers were already controversial because of the researchers’ advocacy of unapproved uses of psychiatric medicines in children.”  The New York Times also reported that Biederman fueled an explosion in the use of powerful antipsychotic medicines in children. 

There was no mention of funds received for his work at Massachusetts General Hospital for his ADHD program, as the investigation was for Harvard only.

These drugs all have Black Box warnings, yet doctors continue to prescribe them to our children.  Doctors are also receiving gratuities from drug companies, by means of samples, gifts, food and who knows what else which exert significant influence on provider behavior. 

The pharmaceutical companies state that mental illnesses are the result of some type of chemical imbalance that can only be corrected with their drugs.  There is no scientific proof to their claims but they support drug sales of more than $27 billion a year in the United States and $80 billion worldwide.

This all leaves us with one question, “Who can we trust?”  Be smart and do your homework.

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Well, I’ve done my first week of my second placement. It’s great. Not much to say really. It’s just really good. There hasn’t been much ‘new’ stuff really. I’ve come across most of the ‘illnesses’, ‘disorders’, ‘conditions’ or whatever you want to call them. Mostly in previous jobs. I’ve also come across most of the personality types before. People who deal with their distress by screaming in the world’s face and people who deal with their distress by hiding away and trying not to get noticed. And (perhaps luckier?) people who have partners, children, jobs, responsibilities and this whole thing around mental health difficulties has come right out of the blue and takes a bit of getting used to. This week I’m reading up on schizophrenia and antipsychotic drugs. Next week mood disorders and mood stabilising drugs. After that, who knows. Hopefully I’ll have met my mentor by then and we’ll have a plan. There’s a fair bit of Uni work to be getting on with aswell.

The team are lovely. I haven’t met anybody who isn’t willing to answer my questions and take a bit of time explaining the implications of various scenarios. And everyone seems happy to give a bit of feedback and encouragement.

I’ve also been eating lots of sweets. From the best selection I’ve ever had at any one time.  I bought a nice little pick and mix in Banbury. I added the sweets from the chinese shop. I added the sweets from the weekly food shop. Then I bought a few bits and pieces of chocolate and sugary confection when I was out and about. The selection just got bigger and bigger. I was so impressed I had to take photographs. Here. Here. And here. I’ve stopped adding to it and it’s thankfully getting gradually smaller. If I carried on at the rate I was going, I’d be the size of a house. I do love sweets though. A lot.

Finally, bunny rabbits. It’s not going so well for Bess. She’s still away at the Bunny Bonding lady’s house. So far they’ve tried her with Mork, a gentle giant who lost his Mindy a while back. No joy. And with Cooper who has a very very sorry tale to tell. He’s all matted and manky and he has a scar across his neck where his throat was cut. We really wanted him but again, no joy. They’re now trying her with Colin. I don’t know much about Colin except that he’s pretty old. And very good looking. He’s a cashmere lop apparently. So far, Colin is the only one she hasn’t attacked through the bars. So there’s some hope. She’s not really a very nice bunny rabbit. Bless her cotton socks tail.

Well, it looks as if my friend is still in the hospital and being drugged out of her skull.  They will put her in a half way place when they find a bed, supposedly.  I don’t know when this last hospital jag started, but if she does not get out soon she will be unable to pay her rent.  She also hasn’t been home for weeks to check her apt to see if everything is ok or whether her “neighbors” managed to steal from her again.

A question:  Does anyone know the average dose of Geodon given a patient?  I was once tried on it with nightmarish results @ 20 mg a day!  She is taking much more.  Could anyone help?  The pro psych drug sites are no help because on them the shrink is God and determines how much is too much.

It seems as if the person I blogged about a few days ago is much better.  I think it’s the drugs, unfortunately….Taking the drugs in the first place when she didn’t need them created a dependency and then withdrawal created a psychotic like state…it’s as if her brain now NEEDS the drugs.  Furthermore, she is not sure what she signed and may be subject to coercive community mental health care when she gets out of the hospital.  Elyn Saks, in her highly inspirational book  The Center Cannot Hold insists she absolutely needs antipsychotic drugs to function and she’s brilliant.  She is also a diagnosed schizophrenic.  This person is not either schizophrenic or brilliant, LOL…but the drugs may have given her a schizophrenic brain.  I warned her that withdrawal would be hard and would be needed to be done slowly under a doctor’s care with meds to reduce the effects of withdrawal, but, of course, she listened to the dumb f*ck nurse practitioner who told her just to quit cold turkey after 9 months of use!!!  Antipsychotic drugs change the brain in far less time than that, try about 2 or 3 months for me!  She may be stuck doped for life unless she has the patience and forbearance to quit the poison pills.

I always had to ask questions:  it could be why I’m a target.  I asked why did AIDS just appear out of the blue one day, why do people get so addicted to drugs when life should be good enough?  Why am I supposed to be so damn SKINNY to fit in or find a mate?  Why are people who are supposed to be the closest to God sometimes the worst people to be around?  I asked why everyone seemed different and colder after 1980 and the Republicans seized power (and kept it, Clinton is the best repub president we ever had), I asked why some people just kept getting shit on in life when others seemed to get by without even trying…AND I asked myself and others, who were the SO CALLED “GUNMEN” the news was always babbling about?  It seemed there were these odd stories of “gunmen” going in places and shooting up strangers (or sometimes co workers) with no warning.  It always ended up in the fearful cry for MORE gun laws (can we still bear arms?), more “MENTAL HEALTH” screenings, etc.

Another “gunman” is in the news.  At least 18 injured.  Another man shot up a municipal building after the police has given him over 100 THOUSAND DOLLARS in PARKING TICKETS.   A boy shot up a mall in Omaha last year.  A young man shot up a missions center before going 50 miles away to shoot up a church.  A California woman shoots up the post office that she worked at. They don’t call it “going postal” for nothing.  A “foreign” student at Virginia Tech shot up his school last year and all his “friends” come out later and say how “disturbed” he was.  Later, it was revealed he had been harassed, possibly electronically as well!  The first shooting I remember was the McDonald’s shooting in San Diego years ago.  I asked why then, and I still ask why now, but the answer was always hanging out there right in my subconscious.  I knew it then and I know it now:  they are targets, they got harassed into insanity.  Now the fearful sheeple will cower and ask for more “protection” against “gunmen” and more laws will be passed to restrict free movement.

I am old enough to remember no guards with badges and guns at grocery stores and malls.  I remember not having to go to the court or other municipal building without a metal detector check.  “Security” is everywhere now, even in every strip mall parking lot.  Why don’t I feel safe?  I once watched an undercover security guard on the bus talk into a tiny microphone about a rider he didn’t “like” (dressed wrong or something) and how he was going to harass and/or arrest this guy.  The bus is full of cameras and even voice recorders now.  The driver has a “hot line” to the cops.  It’s still not enough for those people.  The bus is full of perps every time I get on. 

There are cameras watching us at every intersection.  They install cameras in the light fixtures on the interstate so they don’t miss a thing.  Even in the library, one of the very last bastions of “freedom” we have, cameras and guards are everywhere.  Sometimes they follow me to see what I’m reading and/or checking out.  One day, I was reading a book by a conspiracy theorist who died at a suspiciously young age, and 2 guards stood a ways off and talked about me.  I kept my browsing to the fiction section after that.  Talking about this crap is only “OK” if it’s in a book or movie it seems.  One day in a bookstore, I was reading a book about a man who rode the rails..was followed by a railroad cop a few nights later.  What a surprise.  This was a bookstore that made a fuss about protecting the rights of customers having privacy on what they bought, too.  They didn’t want to release records to the police about what a certain suspect was reading before he committed a crime.  I noticed an “employee” of that same bookstore “hanging around” me when I was reading the book.  Oh boy, I feel really SAFE don’t you? 

The grandaddy of all “shooters” were the two Columbine shooters, though.  It felt personal.  As an unpopular kid in school I was continuously harassed and would FANTASIZE about getting “back” at them.  I realized, though, it was just a fantasy, and people didn’t DO that, did they?  Until they did, on April 20, 1999, of course.  Sometimes I even get that terrible feeling that my adult targetting is just an outgrowth of the harassment I got in school put onto an adult level because my “dear” enemies could never get enough of me.  I would see them years after graduating and still got harassed.  I was horrified.  I thought my “peers” had “grown up” and didn’t do that anymore.  If that’s true, all the fancy theories I have had about my targetting concerning the Masonic Lodge, the Illuminati, or satan worshippers is a bunch of crap.  Not that they aren’t involved, or course.  I’m sure all the money has to come from somewhere.  Once a target is submitted for a lifetime of harassment, money is no object, it seems.  I wonder how much it costs to organize all that personnel and machinery to make my life miserable every year?  I bet I  could live well on a small fraction of that.

No one grows up anymore.  “Adults” are just big kids with money, or poor, with even less maturity and even less impulse control.  I even read a book on the subject but it’s right wing slant and object of getting people to agree with the Iraq war and “Islamofascism” put me off.  I read another place that a male in our society is not considered an emotional “adult” until he’s 34.  THIRTY FOUR????  50 years ago, that was middle age, now it’s late childhood.  Well, most of our “shooters” are under 34, should they charge them as “juveniles”?  Not even, the first thing the wing nuts did was increase all sentences to ridiculous levels and started charging children as young as 10 as “adults”.  Babies going away to adult prison for life for crimes a lot of times they did not do but were bullied into confessing to.  Sounds like what they want to do to me via V2k..”confess” to something.  What it is, is just another scam so they can pick on me more.

In the beginning, I thought that Columbine would be a good thing:  people would finally recognize the bullying happens and pay attention to kids who complained about it instead of whisking them off to pill pushing shrinks.  Columbine, instead, decided to “profile” kids who were “loners” to see if they were “dangerous” and needed “care”.  Then I knew that satan ran the world.  About then, I realized that something was going on in my life that would never end.  I scoured the web looking for “it” and found it months later.  Horrified as usual.  Not only was my harassment “real”, it would never end and only get worse.  No one would believe me.  If I complained, I would be considered nuts and carted off to a mental ward and forced to take pills.  I looked and looked for stories on targets whose harassment ended and found none.  A few would have it reduced only for it to start up later.  One even had it stop for TWO YEARS only to have it start up later worse than before.  Sadistic bastards.

Now, the “grief counselors” will swoop in with a prescription pad and a DSM IV in hand.  Whoopee.  The “shooter” stories seem to be coming more and more often now.  Almost every week.  Will the sheeple wake up?  Naw.

I was horrified to see the latest notice that we are not “free” anymore on a forum that caters to alternative news. This led me to the link and video with comments on this scary expose of police abuse.  This incident happened over a year ago and would have been forgotten except for the fact it got out on the Internet for all the world to see.  If not for the expose, only the Steffey family would have had to live with it in their private hell wondering what was wrong with THEM to attract such abuse —much like uninformed targets do.

Ms. Steffey’s cousin had called the police because Steffey had been beaten up by another guest at the cousin’s house.  When the police got there they got into a fight with Steffey over her producing the wrong ID when asked for her ID.   She had mistakenly produced the ID of her deceased sister that she kept on her for sentimental value.  From then on she was treated as a suspect.  Did producing the wrong ID make her a “terrorist”?  Not too many facts are really known about the case except that the officer’s dashboard camera was off when they started confronting Steffey before taking her in, and when she got to the JAIL, yes they arrested her, they strip searched her forcibly, making her sit naked in a cell for SIX HOURS before getting charged with some misdemeanors.  Later, a jury of her shears (sheep) found her “guilty” of whatever the police charged her with.

It took 7 officers INCLUDING MALE OFFICERS to strip this tiny 120 lb sobbing woman!  Only female officers are permitted to strip search a female by law.  Even a male doctor must have a female nurse in the room when performing any type of examination of a female’s genitals. 

The video shows her screaming while it looks like half the jail employees are stripping her.  The police, of course, defended themselves saying it was “for her own good” that they stripped her…I think they just did it for cheap thrills.  They must enjoy trauma conditioning “virgins” to law enforcement creating a stigma of being “dirtied” by law enforcement contact and creating yet another damaged human being.  They also then create yet another ready customer for the psych drugs so many people “must” take now.  If they had thought that she was suicidal, all they would have had to do is put her in a monitored cell and bring in a psych consult.  Obviously, someone wanted to teach her a “lesson”. 

I was damaged as well in a similar way, though not so badly as this woman was.  I had my contact with law enforcement here in this fair city before they found a bed for me at “that dreaded place”.  It is sooo ironic that I must live only blocks from the juvenile jail they took me to way back then.  I think even THAT was planned to demoralize me as I never envisioned living in THIS neighborhood at all.  The “yuppies” are moving in now and things are quieter, but this area was the armpit of the city until about 5 or 6 years ago.

I had run away from another local hospital and left the state.  I was caught by police in another state and brought back her under “arrest” since I had escaped the first hospital because I didn’t feel I was being treated right and no one would tell me when I would get out.  The whole mess, of course, started when I was made horribly despondent as a side effect of taking neuroleptic drugs that were prescribed by a local shrink.  She had convinced my easy-to-convince parents to put me on anti-psychotic drugs merely because I did not have many friends in school and had a rich fantasy life.

The pills made me low-functioning, anxious, depressed and sleepy.  It was like living in hell.  I had been a healthy, though lonely, suburban teenager until the pills and their effects ruined my life as it was.

Anyway, because of leaving the first hospital, I was considered a “criminal”.  Both times I was in the hospital I was put in involuntarily on 72 hour hold but given a “paper” to sign saying it was “voluntary”, probably to cover their asses.  I should have not signed the “paper” and seen if my incarceration, especially at the second hospital, would have held up in front of a judge.  I had the same thing happen when getting fired at a job…”please sign this paper saying you quit” they’d say, to avoid future lawsuits over firing me for nothing.  I was s-c-r-e-w-e-d each time.  They hope that you, the ignorant wage-slave, will think it “looks better” to say you “quit” rather than get fired.  Of course, I’m sure they tell prospective employers you were fired and all kinds of lies to back it up.

When I got back to this fair city (perp hell) I was locked in juvenile hall until a bed was available.  I was in a “day room” with other young inmates during the day and locked in a tiny cell with a roommate at night.  Every time my parents visited me, I was totally strip searched before returning to the jail part of the building.  Instead of going on dates, going to dances, and having fun, I had some bitch looking in my ass for “drugs” my parents MUST have given me.  I was luckier than Ms. Hope Steffey.  It was only one woman looking me “over” so to speak.  A female staff member also hung around when I showered.  Nothing much has changed.  My perps can “see” into my bathroom and observe me naked and “talk” to me over V2k while I’m in the shower…it’s the jail all over again.  Sometimes I wonder if my “original” perps weren’t disgruntled police or hospital workers angry at the fact that I “got away” from the “system” they were trying to get me into and never looked back. (no arrests, no crimes, etc.)  I still get harassed by police and also fire fighters and some city employees.

Because another inmate said I “looked” at a boy in the communal dining room, I was made to give up my contact lenses (don’t know why) and go to bed at 6pm the night before my transfer to the hospital.  For the transfer, I was blind, in handcuffs, and LEG SHACKLES.  Just like a mass murderer.  I rode in the back of a squad car.  If I had had the orange jumpsuit (juveniles then wore their own clothes, two changes a week) I would have been the SON OF SAM for cripes sake!  After that, I, who never had opportunity to need police before, never saw them again in the same light.

I went in the hospital/law enforcement system a nice suburban girl and left an angry young woman with many issues.  It took me years to feel like a normal person and not a patient or criminal on furlough.  By the time I had finally got over my bad feelings towards law enforcement, I was already firmly a target and had yet another unjust encounter with them.  (this time no strip searches).  This has solidified my negative attitude and suspicion towards them in general, even though there may be some terrific cops–at least the TV and countless books tell us so–I see them in a different light than a person who has not encountered them in a negative situation.

Since I have become a vocal target, the local police have laughed and joked about me when I encounter them in groups.  I see them “just driving by” a LOT by my house when before there were almost none despite the questionable neighborhood.  They have also taken to occasionally going around my block and even going through the alley which gives them an opportunity to shine their spotlight in my window.  Sometimes, they will sit in their squad car half a block away and “do paperwork” for an hour.  I also get the police helicopter hovering over my block and have also been followed by the police helicopter when I was on foot.  It made me feel like an ant being picked on by a gorilla.  They have also used small planes to circle over me again and again.  Even during the General Aviation ban after 9/11, I’d still see the “little planes” all the time, so I know they are police of some sort. 

The Steffey case does not shock me after hearing of all the “taser” cases, hearing of 5 year olds in handcuffs after having a tantrum, and of course all the police related shooting deaths that just keep getting on the news.  There was a teen shot to death in the BACK as he fled about 10 years ago. Remember the 90 year old grandmother in Atlanta who was killed when cops came to the wrong house in SWAT gear to make a “drug” bust?  It happened here, too, twice at least.

What I’m worried about is, if non-targetted citizens get such police abuse, what will happen to targets?  The only answer when I hear of a case like this is that the person was a target and didn’t know it.

I kind of put myself on the line with this post being critical to police.  Hope it was worth it to point out that police harassment is nothing new, yet it is growing by leaps and bounds now. 

P.S.  V2k is now using what sounds like a “cops” voice saying “take it down” “take it down”.  Should I?

It never ends.  Britney Spears is taken to the “hospital” again.  A little more than a year after she divorced Kevin Federline her career has been reduced to ashes.  This time, it looks like they might keep her.  She is getting the “72 hour hold”.  This time she might get the “pills”.  Oh, how I wish I could warn her off the shrinks, but there is no way to warn her or the thousands of other people who are suddenly “melting down” after being exposed to gangstalking and electronic harassment.  The news says she probably has a mild form of Bi Polar disorder that is being exacerbated with alcohol and drugs.  Strange, how she did not seem to have any “mental problems” before her husband left her.

I’m no expert, but I think her melting point came when it was rumored she heard that Federline and the “love of her life” Justin Timberlake, were making fun of her in public.  It’s what targets deal with everyday:  ridicule and betrayal.  For a pampered celebrity though, it can be too much after having every desire catered to and being surrounded by kissasses 24/7.

It really looks like the end for Britney if she doesn’t get her act together, clean up, get some spirituality, and move the heck out of Hollywood. Will she join the “27″ club?  It almost looks like it.  She needs to start over.  Now she may not have the chance.  It is obvious her family is trying to commit her.  If she is committed, she will have to stay in the hospital as long as the doctors say, and she will HAVE to take whatever “medicine” they give her, or it will be forced upon her via syringe.  If she’s lucky, she will have a good lawyer who can get her out of this mess, and into some kind of aftercare.  After that, she should disappear, grow up, and find a God before it’s too late.  She’s going to need to start from the ground up.  She will have to mature 20 years before she’s ever in the public eye again.

The hospital is sneaky, too.  If she is forced to take “meds” she should always ask to take them in pill form so she can see what and how much she is taking.  Any prescription drug book has color plates that show drugs and different dosages and also the imprint that the pill has on it.  This is mainly for brand name pills.  The generics are different and I’m not sure if the drug books picture them yet.  I know for myself, that the hospital I was in in 1982 gave me my “meds” in a bit of juice so I never knew how much I was getting or even WHAT I was getting.  I was supposed to be getting the same drug that was prescribed to me from before but WHO KNOWS?  It could have been anything.

Also, if she is force hospitalized, she should act as sane as possible to get out as soon as possible.  The longer she is in there, the easier it will be for people to take legal action against her since she will be declared incompetent by law.  She must prevent, at all costs, her parents from becoming her “power of attorney”.  They will take all her money and only dole it out when they FEEL like it.  She will become poor overnight.  Her parents will gobble up all her earnings and she will never see a cent.  She will end up forgotten and alone like Frances Farmer, who was committed to the state hospital by her parents and lived in hell there for years until she used trickery to escape her parents while out of the hospital to “take care” of them.  She later moved to the Midwest where the former movie star did COMMUNITY THEATER until her premature death of cancer.

Britney should also be careful about getting off the “meds” as soon as possible, especially if they are anti-psychotics.  The side effects from these horrible pills cause involuntary facial movement, severe anxiety and agitation, weight gain, diabetes and a multitude of other effects including loss of intelligence and an early death.  The anti bipolar pillscause many side effects but are not nearly as bad as anti-psychotics.  If she truly wants to live drug free later she can keep off all alcohol and drugs, avoid “party people” like the plague, and change her diet and use supplements to avoid relapses.  Of course, if she’s a target, her perps will do whatever it takes to cause her emotional upset and create a “crisis”, especially as she’s weaning off the drugs.  Every psychoactive drug has a withdrawal process even the “less toxic” antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills.

I hope she makes it out of psychiatric hell and can help raise her children again.

It looks like someone else I know is being forced to take psych drugs…On a previous blog, I detailed how another woman I knew was not only on a mind numbing regimen of pills, but how she was forced to take them via daily visit from a “nurse” who watched her take them and also a long acting shot.  No one would help her fight back against the community mental health center and the crooked psychiatrist and judge who set draconian regimen up, and she was forced to go along or else have a long stay in the State Mental Hospital.  I really had no idea of her mental state or “diagnosis” via the DSM IV, but it seemed she was not so sick that she required to be that doped out of her head. 

I attributed her situation to the vengefulness of her psychiatrist at the mental health center who had a history of overmedicating patients she did not like.  (I do not think the community mental health places that serve low income clients get the cream of the crop when it comes to counselors and psychiatrists.  I could go on about this for pages and pages from my own experience and that of many others.)  The average doctor (if you can get a real doctor not a nurse practitioner) in a mental health center sees a client about 10 to 20 minutes every few months and asks a pre printed list of questions to the client to determine if their drug regimen still works and then on to the next unlucky client. 

Novelist Stephen White, in his novel Dry Ice (see earlier post on books with sociopathic characters) had a character in the book who worked at the State Hospital after a scandal in his career involving a patient suicide.  Any field that serves the poor is almost always able to attract lousy workers and sociopaths among the dedicated people who truly care.

Anyway, this person has been having emotional problems as of late and had taken the advice of a not-so-caring friend (read: perp) who got her on a regimen of antipsychotic pills.  At first this person was doing ok on the pills, then, she started acting spacy and emotionally flat (called flat affect).  Later, she was having trouble driving and would have had to quit  and take the bus if she didn’t stop the pills.  She then asked her community mental health “doctor” (nurse practitioner) if she could quit the antipsychotics if she could remain on her other pills.  The doctor said yes, but gave her no game plan to get off the antipsychotics.  Getting off of antipsychotic pills is torture because they change the chemistry of your BRAIN.  Many people seem to have a relapse of “mental illness” after getting off the drugs because the drugs affect the brain chemistry in a way that getting off them causes a chemical imbalance.  Dr. Grace Jackson (see above) even says that people who were never psychotic before but are prescribed antipsychotics and go off them will exhibit psychotic symptoms MONTHS after discontinuing the drugs due to changes in brain chemistry.

This is something the money hungry drug companies do not want you to know about, and it’s something your perps don’t want you to know either.  Also, today, antipsychotics are being prescribed “off label” for various emotional conditions that don’t even APPROACH what the docs consider “schizophrenia”, which may be an imaginary disease to begin with. 

In past times, and still in some conservative circles, schizophrenia is still considered demon possesion.  Other people believe schizophrenia is caused by serious vitamin deficiencies. (See about book in previous post by Dr. Newbold).  Prophets in the Bible had schizophrenia type symptoms when they heard from God.  Whether schizophrenia is caused by a “broken brain” or by demons or by gods is up for debate, but it’s obvious that antipsychotic drugs are no cure nor even an effective treatment for the condition or any other condition Big Pharm decides these very strong drugs are indicated for.  This brilliant article says not only do antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs not work, but their overuse has created a larger pool of people with mental illness.  I have heard it say that 1 in 5 Americans have a mental disease.  People talk of being bipolar or having schizophrenia like they used to talk about having warts!  It sickens me.  The enemies of this country will not have to wait long for us to destroy ourselves from within.  While sin and greed will help, madness will do us in.  A teacher in the 23rd century will tell her class:  “boys and girls, what happened was that the Americans all went slowly mad starting in the 20th century…”  They will say we had “such a beautiful mind”.  (not to mention a pretty face but obesity is a different topic altogether)