What is Rape

Sexual assault (including rape as sub-category) is a common crime in Australia affecting 0.3-0.7% of the total population per year and affecting close to 20% of 18-24 year old women in the past 12 months(!) Only 15% of sexual assaults are reported to the police.

Let us define rape. This is difficult as can be evidenced by a quick google search for definitions of rape. Let us go with the following for now:

“Rape is defined as forced, manipulated or coerced sexual intercourse (or other sexual act) against the will of the victim. If the act occurs while the victim is unconscious, asleep or otherwise unable to communicate unwillingness, it is still considered rape.”

(As per Massacheusetts law)

What is Stalking

Stalking too is a common phenomenon, affecting some 23% of people throughout their lifetime, and with rates of 32% amongst people aged 18-35.

There are various definitions of stalking in legal and academic literature. The nature of the behaviours and the intent are controversial areas- if the intent is romantic in nature, is it stalking? Similarly, if it is a seemingly innocent gesture but is repeated and done in such a way to cause (reasonable) fear, is it stalking? Consensus however is reached when it comes to the effect on the victim: it is necessary that the conduct causes the victim to fear for his/her safety. Thus I use the following definition:

“Stalking refers to a course of conduct by which one person repeatedly inflicts on another unwanted intrusions to such an extent that the recipient fears for his or her safety.”

(Purcell, Pathé, Mullen 2004)

Who Rapes, Stalks- and Why?

Many models have been proposed for rape, stalking, sexual murder and sexual assault, striving to represent the diversity of motive and execution evident in the crime.

Summary of Convicted Rapists

Not all rapists (I must point out once again) are psychopathic- fully half are non-psychopathic.

>95% of reported rapes have a male perpetrator. However female rapists are likely very underrepresented due to sociocultural factors and attitudes.

It is also to be noted that rapists carry a recidivism rate (for all crimes) of roughly 50%- the highest rate for violent offenders; convicted paedophiles carry a rate of between 10-50% depending on study and subcategorisation, which includes both child rapists as well as those attracted to children.

Summary of Convicted Stalkers

Stalking has only recently entered the popular lexicon despite reports of stalking behaviours since at least the 1800s; it became a common term only some time in the 1980’s, as a response to celebrity stalkers. This became more generalised to harrassment and predatory behaviour towards non-famous victims.

In contrast with rape, the gender split with perpetrators is roughly 50/50. Once again, this difference may represent greater social acceptability for people to report female stalkers than female rapists.

Various studies of stalkers have also shown that concurrent psychiatric problems (whether psychosis, mood disorder or personality related) were almost universal in this group.

The FBI Model of Violent Crime

The FBI have a model which divides rapists (and other violent criminals) into “organised” and “disorganised” subtypes. Organised being those who plan carefully, leave few traces of their crime, do not do random acts of “ultra-violence”. Disorganised being those who display “chaotic” features (such as ultra-violence, lack of planning, messiness, etc.)

The FBI model has very little evidence to back it and unsurprisingly is widely derided as simplistic, artificial, unreaistic and, well, incorrect.

More Modern Typologies of Rape, Stalking and Sexual Murder

The only reason for the multiplicity of categories in the diagram below is because of the overlap present in the typologies of rapists, sexual murderers and stalkers in the studies below. These studies took data from crime scenes, criminals and victims and came up with distinct behavioural and motivational clusters.

(Click for larger version)

However, when you compare the studies it would be more accurate to speak of roughly 6 subtypes as follows:

• 1a: Violent, aggressive types who are motivated by pure revenge against the victim. Thus, entirely violent, paranoid motivations, associated with paranoia as well as Cluster B* (antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic) personality traits.
• 1b: Violent, angry and power-obsessed types who are motivated because of (perceived) rejection by the victim. Thus, sex/intercourse is also a factor. Associated with Cluster B traits.
• 2a: Socially inept, intimacy seeking, incompetent types who do not know any other sure-fire method of procuring intimacy/intercourse and/or who rape because they feel socially inadequate and insecure. They are purely motivated by the desire for sex/intimacy and only use as much force is necessary to get what they want. Murder is an accidental sequel to this. Usually socially inept/of low IQ.
• 2b: Delusional, intimacy seeking types who believe that their victim is in love with them back. Associated with psychosis and schizophrenia.
• 3: Sadistic, fetishistic, predatory types who plan meticulously and whose motivation is complex violent sexual fetish- an extreme form of the combination of sex and violence. Very dangerous, unrepentant, skilled. Associated with psychopathy and extreme paraphilias.
• 4: “Other”. This more nebulous group includes oppportunistic, inept, short term, unplanned acts of random violence, often associated with the commission of other crimes including robbery.

*Cluster B personality disorders include: antisocial (violence, disregard for others’ rights, egocentrism, low empathy, includes the subgroup of psychopaths), narcissistic (egocentricity, inflated self-esteem, callous disregard for others), histrionic (attention-seeking, shallow but dramatic moods, egocentrism, overdramatic), borderline (unpredictable behaviour, low self-esteem, inner emptiness, clingy behaviour, mood swings, rapid change from idolisation to demonisation). This group of disorders has high overlap and there is a (possibly cultural) propensity for men to be diagnosed (or misdiagnosed) with APD or narcissism vs women and BPD or histrionicity.

So you see, it is not as simple as “organised” vs “disorganised”, “sane” vs “insane”, or “rape as power”. Rape has many many motivations including power, sex, revenge, delusion, opportunity. Similarly it is not just psychopaths who rape. Fully half of all rapes are committed by people who have other psychological problems, or even no identifiable psychological problem at all.

The results of the rape are also varied. Someone who is motivated by an inept desire for intercourse may end up killing the victim. Someone motivated by psychopathic predatory thoughts may only stalk their victim and never proceed to rape or sexual murder.

MTC:R3 – Towards a More Complex Model of Rape

I did lie. There was some significance to the multiplicity of categories.

(Click for larger version)

The Massachusetts Treatment Center Rapist typology, Version 3 (Knight & Prentky, 1990)

This taxonomy (think species) of rapists is more nuanced and based on a larger set of data. Rather than relying on 4-6 unrelated categorisation, it incorporates underlying psychopathology, motive and the level of violent and/or sexual motivation that is behind these rapes.

There is, then, an interesting distinction that comes about which I shall illustrate below:

(Click for larger version)

I have recoloured the diagram so that the level of red represents sexualisation and the level of yellow represents violence.

In non-psychopathic sexual offenders, violence and sexualisation are inversely correlated- they range from red to yellow with only a very muted orange in-between. However, in psychopathic sexual offenders, violence and sexualisation are positively correlated- they are only various shades of orange. Note that this is true only for psychopathic RAPISTS, not for ALL psychopaths. Thus, perhaps in that minority of psychopaths who rape, violence and sex are much of the same emotion. This is in fact reinforced by the finding that while the VRAG (violent risk appraisal guide) which includes the PCL:R (the most common scale for measuring psychopathy) is a reasonable predictor for psychopathic rape and recidivism, an adjusted scale known as the SORAG (sex offending risk appraisal guide) which includes physical measurement of sexual arousal to sexual deviance in fact correlates with this criminal behaviour much better.

And here we reach perhaps the crux of what I used to not understand about this crime. How such a thing could be done.

How could someone do this?

Some people do not know how to have sex, so they force it out of someone to get their way; they do not know much better. Some people are particularly angry and want to hurt and humiliate someone in particular and they know the effect that rape has; it is not about sex, it is about power and violence. Some people are just so horny and angry at the same time, or so turned on by domination and humilation that they plot and plan and find a victim to lash out at and fulfil their fantasies.

And.

Some people do it because there’s someone right there and they just can, very easily- maybe just ignore that they’re saying no or that they passed out or that they’re drunk or drugged or happened to be there, pretend that it was the heat of the moment and they were really asking for it and how could someone stop themselves in that situation. I mean, you understand don’t you? It’s not like [person] would’ve ever been in that position if they didn’t really want it, and you know how [person] is such a tease and they put me in this position where I just couldn’t help myself. What are you gonna do in that situation? Just stop?

I guess my point is that many people are apologists for the opportunity rapist and the date rapist. In fact, there are many who argue that it is not rape or that in that situation maybe they would do the same thing, or that the victim is to blame for the assault. Look at the underlying thought process and see its real meaning though:

“I raped because I could”

It is an abnormal thought process. It is in fact a psychopathic thought process. It is not the product of the usual human mind. The “I could not stop myself” and the “she was asking for it” are merely excuses and justifications for the true reason- “because I could”.

Discussion

I believe that it is facile and simplistic to conclude that distinguishing particular patterns of rape means that some rapes (as defined above) are not rapes or that rape is a lesser crime according to motivation or psychopathology. The effect on the victim of the rape is dependent on many factors including the psychology of the victim- we do not claim that it is not a rape if the victim recovers better from the psychological trauma, so why should we claim that it is not a rape if the motivation for the rape was X, Y or Z?

Sentencing is yet another issue and an altogether unrelated one. Sentencing takes into account societal impact, likelihood of recidivism and other factors- it is not and should not be interpreted purely as a measure of morality. It is a means by which society maintains social control, order, attempts to reduce the likelihood of crime and segregates the potential recidivist from potential future victims.

Some rapists, stalkers, sexual murderers are far more amenable to rehabilitation than others. Some rehabilitation exercises do reduce recidivism and some do not. These factors are very important to find because of the following statistics:

• 50% of rapists re-offend in some way
• 50% do not
• Nearly all stalkers who harrass their victims have an associated psychiatric diagnosis- which may vary from frank schizophrenia/psychosis to an embedded personality disorder.
• Non-psychopathic offenders respond well to rehabilitation and therapy- some reoffend anyway but in significantly lower numbers
• Psychopathy as a personality trait has shown very little promise for treatment and psychotherapies used for non-psychopathic offenders in fact increase or have no effect on recidivism rate- but early research suggests psychopathic offenders may show lower recidivism rates as a result of punishment/behaviour based regimens

Thus, as a heterogenous group of people it is important that society does more research and action into finding appropriate stategies for managing these complex crimes. There is some suggestion that the gradually increasing sentence and taboo against rape has in fact led to a far lower rate of conviction for offenders than previously- someone is far more likely to plead guilty to a 2 year sentence than a 10 year one.

Perhaps we should champion a graded system for rape and sexual assault- the first offence being 2 years and psychiatric evaluation, treatment and rehabilitation. The 2nd offence, 5 years with treatment and close community monitoring, the 3rd 10 years with treatment and very intensive community monitoring. First time offenders would be more likely to admit to their crime and all would undergo measures to attempt to rehabilitate them. However the punishment would increase with each subsequent offence- and remember it is much easier to reconvict someone than to convict someone on a first time offence. Accordingly there should be close surveillance of this vulnerable group to lessen the risk of re-offending.

With stalking, the psychiatric diagnosis is paramount; some stalkers are experiencing a frank psychotic episode and requite psychiatric hospitalisation and treatment. Others may be motivated by a personality disorder such as borderline personality or psychopathy. Depending on what this is, treatment and punishment should proceed accordingly.

Conclusion

Rape and stalking are common crimes affecting a large percentage of the population. They are also under-reported crimes. Thus it is highly likely if not definitely true that we all know someone who has been raped, stalked or both. Even if the number of perpetrators is low – this would imply a high re-offending rate, consistent with the data. Not only are these crimes common, but their incidence far outweighs the likelihood of a false report. False reports no doubt happen and it is very unfortunate and vindictive if they do so; however such events are very rare indeed and far more common is true rape, stalking and sexual assault.

Rapists and stalkers both commit their crimes for a variety of reasons, sexual, violent or both. These reasons include desire for intimacy, revenge/retaliation, sexual fetishism and pure opportunity. Both rapists and stalkers have a high rate of recidivism and co-existing psychiatric diagnosis, whether it be psychotic, mood-related or personality disorder including psychopathy. They are a complex group of criminals with varying motivations and modes of activity but this makes their crimes no less wrong.

Similarly, victims range from young women of reproductive age to babies to old women to old men to young men and anywhere in between. This variability indeed highlights the fact that no victim of rape or stalking is deservent of the crime but is in fact a “convenient object” for the commission of the crime. If it were not them, it would be someone else, so to speak.

It is important that we recognise that these crimes do happen to people we know and are far more common than we realise. It is also very important not to blame the victim and to realise that most of the perpetrators are mentally ill individuals who require psychiatric treatment, rehabilitation and/or even segregation from the greater community.

There have been many lengthy essays on & much discussion on the dunking of biscuits: which are the best varieties, can it be carried out in company, should it be tea, coffee or even milk.

I would like to propose the non-dunk dunk as an alternative.

Take a large bite of whichever biscuit turns you on at the time but please DO NOT CHEW, then take a large slurp of whichever beverage is rocking your boat, and there you have it, the equivalent of the dunked biscuit without any of the glares of shocked polite society or the risk of a pile of soggy rich tea down the front of your jummy.

Result! Admittedly you lose that certain frisson of excitement that you get with a full frontal dunk, but sometimes need must!

Ms B

I never got their names, just dropped them off at the first available cross point.

I’ve been the hitchhiker, the one yearning for a ride with the smile on my face as I walk backwards, thumb out, trying to meet the eyes of the drivers. So I feel obligated when I pass a hitcher, to pick them up and pay down my debt from years past. I’ll pick up one, maybe a couple, but never more than that, and never two men. I also prefer to pick up the hitchers who are walking, not just sitting there on their bags waiting passively.

I used to hear from the drivers who stopped for me that they chose me over the other hitchers in the string of hitchers leading out of town because I was the only one moving forward, thumb out, making headway in the direction I wanted to go.

This couple weren’t walking, but they caught my eyes, smiled and looked pleasant just outside of Hokitika. So I stopped.

The second I put my foot on the brakes to slow down I regretted it.

It had nothing to do with them, nothing whatsoever. Both young and tall and fit, an appealing pair. She blonde and very attractive and outdoorsy. He was also tall with a full reddish brown beard and good bone structure, like you would imagine Jesus to be if you thought he were actually caucasian.

And I felt too much guilt to pass them in a van with plenty of space, even though my stuff was strewn all over that space. There was no reason not to stop. So I put on my left indicator and pulled over just past them.

I got out as they opened my door, saying I had to move my gear around. She spoke with an accent I did not catch, he did not speak, just smiled sweetly nd hung back as she negotiated. That’s right. Well done. Female driver, let the woman do the talking, reduce the threat. Or he simply didn’t speak English as well as she did.

But the second I made the decision to stop for them I regretted my decision. I didn’t take off like some asshole teasing the hitchers and making them run. I re-arranged the back seat and moved my random stuff into the way back, cleared off the front seat, and let them in. Backpacks and guy in back, woman in front.

Then started the inquisition. Okay, not really, but to my retreat from civilization and get the hell away mindset post-Ice, the tiny simple questions she asked of me were too much, and too challenging: “Where are you from? Are you travelling? Where are you going? How far are you going?” Not shot at me like that seems, but she was obviously searching.

Argh! I do not like to drop the A bomb into conversations, nor do I like explaining why I am travelling around NZ nor how, let alone where I am from. Even that is too much. What is FROM anyway? Is it where you were born? Brought up? Lived most recently? Have your stuff stored? Spent most of your time in the last 5 years even though no one is ever FROM there?

I am clearly not capable of having a civil conversation with other travelers. I’ll stick to strangers in retail and friends who don’t need to ask. I can’t handle the inquisition, the inquisitive nature of the common grounding conversations people seek out with each other. I am needing to be alone, detached, unidentified by nation, accent, origin, home or job choice.

So it was my mistake to pick up this nice young couple. She was from Montreal. I don’t know about him. He never spoke.

I know her queries were not intended to be invasive. It is what hitchers do: try to find out what the driver expects of them–Entertainment? Silence? Tall tales? Intrigue? Keep them awake? Pass the time in a long boring trip? A captive audience? A debating partner?

I wanted none of that, not even silence. In my efforts to not answer her questions, but not be completely rude, I had to drop the A bomb: I work in Antarctica, that explains why I am in NZ. And that always generates more questions. Couldn’t I have lied? Yes, but every lie, if you answer a question, requires more lies. I was obviously uncomfortable with her questions, with a silence of often 30 seconds or so passing after she’d asked the simplest of questions. She would smile and gaze at me as the silence became awkward and I’d half figured out how to answer it.

Indeed, her very first question was “Where are you going?” and I knew I needed an out so I answered “The next town down.” If I didn’t give myself that out, I would end up taking them all 4 hours or whatever, without freedom, trapped in my own van, all the way to their next destination: probably one of the Glaciers, Fox or Franz Joseph.

I had no idea what the name of the next town down was. Not prepared for that lie, was I?

But come the next town, Ruapehu, and her next question of “Aren’t you stopping here?” and I was prepared with a lie about a friend off the main road whose town I didn’t know until I came to the next sign and said “This is it.”

I left them there on the side of the road on this rainy day and headed off up Woodstock-Rimu Road. Where I parked for an hour until I knew they’d have been picked up by someone else and I did not have to continue on my way accompanied when I just couldn’t bear it.

I couldn’t have borne anyone at that point. I am travelling solo because I need to be alone. I need the freedom to just choose any road, dirt or asphalt, no matter the destination, and just go up it exploring. I need to be able to stop anytime I want, to pee, to take a picture, to take a nap, or a break to read. I just need to be totally unobligated, irresponsible, carefree and careless, on my own making decisions about what to do and where to go and how long to spend completely unrequired to adjust myself to anyone else’s expectations.

I desperately need that. That is how I am healing from this last season. I could not do this while I was sick, nor while my mother was in NZ, nor while I was trapped in Christchurch doing all my appointment for my PQ (Physical Qualifications) with the van in the shop from Monday through Friday.

I need the complete opposite of my season now. I need what makes me heal: solo time. I need to recognize who I am and how I am when I am not in a state of reacting to other people.

And it seems, even perfectly pleasant hitchhikers are too much for me to handle just yet, now that I have my privacy and freedom back.

I can’t do another winter until I have truly stopped reacting to this last one. Just now, even though I do not think much of it, I must still be feeling it.

I find myself driving along, or walking under some honey-scented beech forest canopy, or sifting through the bazillions of stones on a West Coast beach in the rain and sea-mist blown across me by the wind, and I realize that not only am I frowning, but my fists are clenched at my sides. Clenched tight. Even when I sleep. I sleep with a frown and wake with clenched fists, numb from the clenching.

I still have some work to do, and that work doesn’t include even the casual temporary company of hitch hikers whose names I’ll never know.

El miercoles que viene tengo un excitante exámen de PRAP (Practicas de Programación). Es la asignatura más asquerosa y a la que más tirria le tengo. Creía que nadie podría superar jamás a IL (Introducción a la Lógica), pero realmente se quedó corta al lado de esta. El temario es interesante, pero las clases de teoría son una de las deficiniones de la RAE de “mierda”. Las clases de laboratorio son peores si cabe y el metodo de evaluación y el profesorado apesta aunque le tires por encima todos los perfumes que se anuncian en estas epocas por la tele.

Tengo que hacer un programa -que voy a tener que dedicarle toda la semana- y su correspondiente documentación escrita. El exámen es básicamente volver a escribir toda la mierda de la docuentación otra vez casi identicamente a lo que ya has escrito. Objetivo? Tenerte 3 horas escribiendo como un puto cabrón. No puede tener más objetivo que ese.

Así que voy a estar encerrado en mi room hasta terminar esto. Sino bye bye universidad, así que no queda otra. Aunque seguiré posteando por aquí cualquier cosa que se me pase por la cabeza, así como mis avances en dicha tarea.

—————

Hoy me he encontrado con que el parking de la playa estaba cerrado, y he tenido que aparcar en el quinto pepino para poder coger el tren. He llegado con un minuto de antelación, que es mucho para mí. Suerte que salí antes de lo que tengo por costumbre. Pasando a pie por el lado del puerto he visto una furgoneta de TV3 y un camara por ahí, me pregunto que rayos pasaría de interés. El tren va muy vacío, y parece que la media de edad duplica la mía.

Me sorprendo de lo bien que funciona la radio de mi mp4. Y mientras observo un crucero a lo lejos en el mar, me organizo mentalmente el tiempo. Siempre he dicho que mis días debería tener 30 horas. También dedico un poco de la capacidad cerebral a pensar que voy a hacer en mi primer fin de año de renovada soltería. Aunque claro, una cosa es querer, ya la otra es poder. Y no siempre “querer es poder”.

Acaba de subir una abuela y un poco más y se mata ella solita con una moneda que se le ha caído al suelo. Íba a cogersela yo pero se ha puesto un poco en plan “mi tesssssooooooorrooooo” y he sudado de meterme por el medio.

Realmente empiezan a darme tirria esas personas que atraviesan 3 vagones solo para encontrar un sitio dónde sentarse solos. El tren muestra lo increíblemente antisociales que somos. Y conforme escribo esto, cambio de radio a mp4 -que ya me aburría- y doy por concluída mi aportación al blog por hoy.

Tengo que hacerme un Mix. Pero que vaya siempre hacia arriba, sin altibajos, como el de Barney Stinson. “Pónte Eufórico Mix 2010”? Ah, y también quiero escribir something: una historia, un cuento, un libro, algo; lo que sea. Soy incapaz de dedicarme a la pintura por lo impaciente que soy cuando pinto, aunque no se me dé del todo mal, no voy a hacerme escultor y no tengo ninguna idea brillante como para ser un inventor. Supongo que el arte de la pluma (o del teclado) es lo que más me pega.

Y ahora suena Time of Dying (3DG). Independientemente de la letra, me encanta el ritmo que tiene. Parece que últimamente ya empiezo a pillar más las letras en inglés sin tener que leer las lyrics. Cuando llegue a la facultad intentaré bajarme algo de 3 Doors Down. Hace tiempo que escucho canciones de ellos en youtube y aunque me gustan nunca me decido a bajarmelas. Creo que me compraré algunos CD’s esta navidad… Y creo que iré poniendo canciones en el blog. Aunque la primera obviamente va a ser de Rise Against, y como no puedo esperar…

No diría que es mi favorita, puesto que la gran mayoría me encantan, pero esta tiene un ritmo y una letra que me apasionan:

Acepto sugerencias musicales! Hambriento de cosas nuevas…

P.d: Enserio, ODIO estos amantes de los 10.000 metros andando de los vagones del tren. Es que no pueden ponerse en el primer asiento que ven? Me ponen de los nervios!

P.d 2: Reflexión de las 16:36: Ahora ya estoy en el metro y acabo de ver dos cambios en los anuncios: han quitado un anuncio de unas gafas de sol que ya me tenía hastalas narices, y en otro que también han cambiado han puesto el anuncio de una nueva pelicula, “Hermandad de Sangre”, que salen 6 tipas de buen ver en el cartel. Sinceramente me pregunto si esa pelicula tendrá por argumento algo más que tetas y culos. Habrá que ver.

In orchestra we all split into sections and, being second of five chairs, my section was clearly disappointed when I didn’t participate in their conversations about Nickelodeon, baroque music, and shoes.

Believe it or not, World, I used to be a very talkative child. In first grade I remember my neighbors asking me how I could talk so much. They asked me if my mouth ever got tired. I’ve been getting picked on all my life. Whether my classmates kids were teaming up against me to question how one little 6-year-old girl could talk so much, or maybe the scenerio involved two freshmen and two seniors cornering me in a practice room asking hurtful things like “are you a robot?” or “did you even have a childhood?” I’ve always been an easy target for anyone and everyone.

Anyway, on my way to P.E., the one or two girls I usually spoke to during class all migrated to a different spot on the campus and I didn’t want to bother them, for fear I would come off as rude and intrusive. Just like in orchestra, the girls started yelling at my back asking why I didn’t say hi.

At lunch, I was talking to my single lunch buddy about what had happened in orchestra. An emotion romantic, she drifted from the subject and began to interrupt me. Since I have barely any friends it wasn’t like I could just blow her off and refrain from becoming an outcast at the art school with a population of 1300 kids. I hate being interrupted. It’s my pet peeve. She just said “I’m sorry”. I tried to revert back to the topic of my section in orchestra but she kept straying and changing the subject. I got fed up and decided to drop the subject. She asked me what was wrong.

Being the introverted, somewhat antisocial being that I am, I began to explain that the one thing I disliked more than being interrupted was being asked what was wrong. I told her I did not want to talk about anything. She assumed that because when MOST people say “I don’t want to talk about it,” they really would like to talk, that I was like any other person who was open with his/her problems.

As I got into the deeper explanation of how I felt about this matter (not wanting to talk about my problems, not people in orchestra or P.E.) she gave me a look as if she didn’t understand what I was saying, not because she wasn’t capable of understanding things but because I wasn’t making sense. I acknowledged her facial expression and she told me I was weird.

‘Weird’, to me, means strange or peculiar, be it good or bad. To most people, the word has a negative connotation. After being told for years and years that I was weird I don’t take the statement lightly. Unfortunately, I keep all of these negative emotions as mere thoughts, not my spoken words.

I’m introverted. I might be antisocial. And, according to most people I’ve spoken to, I’m also weird. Not a very uplifting combination when you consider that so-called popular and well-liked people are extraverted, outgoing, friendly, and normal, if not cool.

The technology that has allowed people to keep in closer touch with distant family members and friends, to find information quickly and to develop friendships with people from around the world, is also replacing vital day-to-day human interactions. A computer monitor can?t give you a hug or laugh at your jokes. And some psychologists worry that the Internet?s widening popularity will lead to further isolation among a population that, although gravitating toward virtual communities in cyber-space, seems to have lost a genuine sense of belonging and connection.

A report that greater use of the Internet leads to shrinking social support and happiness, and increases in depression and loneliness. The study is the first to look specifically at the impact that Internet use has on general emotional well-being.

And the findings were unexpected, Kraut says, given that most people use the Internet for chat lines and e-mail, not just to isolate themselves in mounds of electronic information.

‘We were surprised to find that what is a social technology, unlike the television, has kind of antisocial consequences,’ Kraut says.

Where is Captain Ahab when you need him? There is a big Fail Wale the size of Moby Dick swimming around these waters.

There are many Twitter moments which angers its users. I can forgive Twitter much of the time. Perhaps it is the web developer in me that sympathizes with the monumental task they have at hand. But then the selfish user comes out in me asking, Why is Twitter not doing this and why aren’t they doing that?

My biggest gripe lately has been that of the releasing of inactive usernames, or the lack of, I should say. I have been tracking several usernames I would love to get a hold of. They are variations of my own real name. One username, in particular, has only posted 2 tweets, both were published on the same day, TWO YEARS AGO!

As of Nov 30, 2008, Twitter said it was working on bulk-releasing inactive usernames. According to Twitter Support, an inactive user is one who has not logged in or tweeted in 6 months. To me, it seems to be an easy function to gather up the accounts, send out a termination email and remove it if there is no improvement on the account.

Anybody frustrated?

El Inge de Morelia (por que hay un Inge de Guadalajara), tiene una especie de saloncito donde quiere invitarnos a todos los del piso a celebrar que un cliente le pagó un crédito importante; aprovechando, calamos el lugar ya que al cancelarse la posada navideña auspiciada por el banco, es la opción número uno para hacer una posada no-oficial del piso. Es viernes, viernes de quincena, y la verdad es que sí hace falta una cheve helada y desestresarse de una semana que ha sido complicada. Me gusta esa idea y en principio diría que sí sin pensarlo mucho, pero…

Hoy a las 11:30, “Story Tellers: Foo Fighters” en el VH1. Desde el sábado pasado lo vi anunciado y lo he estado recordando diario. Si tuviera la seguridad de que lo van a repetir pronto o que hay alguna forma de bajarlo y verlo luego, bueno, ningún problema, pero pues no. Y sí quiero verlo, tengo MUCHAS ganas de verlo, MUCHAS más ganas de verlo que de ir con mis compañeros, pero sí se me hace un poquitín ogeis mandar al camote al Inge siendo que tan amablemente me invitó. Y pues no tengo excusa: “es que voy a ver un programa en la tele”. Suena muy mal pedo, la verdad.

En fin, a ver que pasa durante el día…

Life – what a funny ride, really!

So today, I had work from 9am-2pm. Standard, nothing special about that. Straight afterwards, however, I was scheduled to go for a picnic for a friend’s birthday which was to be immediately followed by a nighttime endeavour for another friend’s day of days. Given I’ve also got work tomorrow morning, and not wanting to lug around all my clothes etc, I decided to just take my things for the evening with me at the start of the day.

2pm arrives, I’m in the changeroom – oh good lord! Embarrassment! Have I brought a pair of mismatched shoes? YES! Are they actually for the same foot, so I can’t wear them even if I wanted to? YES! Ah! Fail! Don’t get me wrong, had they been slightly appropriate, this wouldn’t have been an issue, but there was no way i could wear chunky black solid closed-in shoes with a tight and frilly dress. Not happening.

Alas, an emergency pit stop to Wittner, just across the road was required. Thankfully it was pay day today – not that I was intending on this purchase. Just as I stepped outside, however, new soles on the ground, CRASH! BAM! and pouurrrrrrrr….a thunderstorm! Crazy. And so, in brand new shoes, I ended up soaking wet anyway.

Eventually, I trampsed my way to the picnic (not the greatest break-in mind you) where I spent a lovely afternoon celebrating and eating with my posse, if you will.

And then! The day took another turn!

There is debate over whether facebook on one’s mobile is a good thing. Maybe it was a little antisocial, but come 4-5pm ish, I felt a quick check was in order. Well, wasn’t I glad I did?! Because, a congratulatory message had been posted on my wall, because of this:

http://www.mimco.com.au/Blog.aspx?CategoryId1=90&CategoryName1=Blog

Wahoooo!!! Oh man, what excitement! What joy! Brought a big smile to the face

Life is always unpredictable – today, it gave me a few giggles.

Este fin de semana leí las revistas dominicales de dos diarios las cuales “casualmente” hablaban del mismo tema (las comillas son porque uno sabe que el dinero pone a hablar el mismo idioma hasta a las piedras).

Hablaban sobre la experiencia de ir a ver un juego de béisbol en el estadium en donde, por supuesto, cabe destacar que la proporción  de VPI seguramente se acerca al 99,99% del total de asistentes.

El espacio público de unas gradas o preferencias de un estadium de béisbol (y seguramente de cualquier deporte aquí) es el paraíso terrenal de cuanto VPI amante del deporte (o de una buena bronca) exista en nuestro terruño.

En esas gradas estos personajes se desgañitan a insultar a los jugadores, al mánager, al Umpire, al que está sentado al lado, a Chávez, a Manuel Rosales, a Bush, a Bin Laden, a Mick Jagger y a cuanto objeto de su odio se les ocurra. Es una explosiva terapia de gritos para estos VPI (quienes sin embargo siguen gritando y agrediendo al salir del estadio y en los siguientes días como si no hubieran hecho ninguna catarsis pelotera)

Los VPI de gradas demuestran (también a grito pelado) su inconmensurable conocimiento sobre el deporte y sus más mínimos detalles. Ante ellos (dicen ellos mismos), Bob Abreu se cuadra mal para batear, Ozzie Guillén lo que sabe es jugar metras y Johan Santana es un sortario tirapiedras. Por todo lo que dicen ser y saber, con una selección de VPI jugando y dirigiendo tendríamos el Dream Team criollo en cualquier disciplina.

Las demostraciones más directas del VPI ocurren cuando taimados lanzan los vasos de cerveza para mojar a los demás y luego caerse a golpes con quien reclame o van “vestidos de civil” siendo Guardias Nacionales o Policías, esperando algún alzado gritón o lanzacervezas para sacar a relucir la placa que llevaban escondida (con toda la intención) antes de propinar cuanto insulto, golpe o patadas se le ocurra.

Otras demostraciones menores son las coleadas para entrar al estadio a los baños o para comprar, pero ya responden a una conducta habitual fácilmente localizable en cualquier otro ámbito de la vida cotidiana de nuestra ciudad.

¿Quieren venirse conmigo al próximo juego Caracas – Magallanes?

Saturday night I went out with Getty, my dog-sitting friend who saved me lots of money sitting my dog while I went to Cali this last summer, and who hooked me up with the best sex night I’ve had this year.

I hadn’t seen or talked to her in weeks, and wondered if I’d pissed her off, but alas no. She’s just been antisocial and in a negative mood she said. So..

1. Yay there’s still a possibility she might dog-sit in the future someday.

2. Damn that means I still have to deal with her if I want her to sit for my dog again.

Honestly, there are times hanging with her isn’t a bad thing.  And there are times when hanging with her is excruciating torture. Unfortunately, this was pretty close to torture, and definitely excruciating.

I initially wanted to go see a movie, but she didn’t want to see “Men Who Stare At Goats”.  She wanted to see some horror flick. I can’t recall the title, but

ME + HORROR = A. Nightmares for a week. B. Freaking out everywhere I go when something happens or resembles something that happened in said-movie C. Screaming like a little girl with my eyes covered and my fingers in my ears the entire movie. D. Walking out of the movie after slugging the person who talked me into watching the movie in the arm. E. Several of the Above. F. All of the Above

So I just refuse to watch anything horror. Trust me. Its safer for you and me.

Anyway, we couldn’t agree on a movie which wasn’t a problem. No biggie. So we decided to go out to eat, and she talked me into going to Cool River.  So I got all gussied up and met her there.

Now on the phone prior to going to eat, she’d talked non-stop and barely let me get any kind of word in unless it was discussing where to go and then she’d only let me get the name of the place in before she’d start in again. Annoying but I figured she’d calm down in person.

She did not.

Instead, she was all about telling me every thought that came into her head and every little judgement of whatever inane thing that came across her mind.  If I disagreed with her, and attempted to express my opinion I would barely get one or two words out and she’d continue talking.  She did not listen nor did she give me any feedback language indicating that she even understood my actual point (really how could she when I didn’t even finish one sentence?).  She did however notice that I was getting frustrated and politely said,

“I know you’re point, but … ” and continued on without me.

To which I swear my head spinned and flames shot out of my eyes.  In my head, I was thinking “OMG how the fucking hell could you possibly know my point when you don’t even listen to a freaking word I’m saying? Really?”

She switched subjects often as one subject reminded her of another subject.

So I tried to give up talking to her and just sat there eating my food.  She did not stop talking even then. She did not really pause. She just kept going like she was loaded with Duracell and covered in faux-bunny-fur.

“I just don’t understand how people feel its their responsibility to shove their food tastes on you! I don’t like fish, damn it. Tell me, how in the hell does it affect their lives if I don’t taste their freaking fish dish?”

Now you might think that this would require a response. I know I thought so too. And it actually did.  She paused and waited until I attempted one.  If I waited too long to respond, she’d repeat the whole rant and end with the question.  So I tried to reply:

“Well some people…”

She started up again, and went further on her rant.  So when the same question came around again, I decided to answer it differently.

“It shouldn’t really…”

And I was cut off again.  It went like this from subject to subject to subject.  Her expressing her opinions like verbal vomit, and myself pretending to be totally unaffected by it.  (I did once actually raise my voice to her and tell her to shut up and listen to me, I’m not normally that rude but she wasn’t giving me a choice, to which she turned all pouty, silent, and sullenly angry. The kind of listening that a 5 yr old does when they don’t get their way… aka not at all.)

She did go on a rant about some guy who walked away from her saying “You’re way negative. I just cannot be around such negativity.” And she went on and on about 10 minutes on how he must have something wrong with him.  It was all I could do not to laugh as she had been proving his point over and over all night.

By the end of the night, I had a massive headache. I put in my time, and I’m not really sure having a dog-sitter-friend is worth all of this.

I do know that it will be a long time until I subject myself to a one-on-one with her again.  There is not enough alcohol in the world.

“…testate contro il muro o preferisci uscire?
da questa apatia generazionale del cazzo
alimentata a strisce per meglio scappare da una realtà di fatto?
Che cosa vedi? Mia giovane mente assiderata
con mille amici su myspace e un’altra cena in solitaria

E non sento più l’effetto che fa
GUARDO LA CITTA’ DALL’ALTO
mentre i mostri arrivano… “

(Il mostro – Linea 77)

Solitudini da scontare
Diversità da accettare
Addii necessari

Ma è SCELTA .

Scelgo l’ ESSENZA , lascio ad altri l’APPARENZA !

Il Tg della sera , ieri , ha parlato del rapporto dell’Eurispes sui giovani !

I dati comunicati dal telegiornale erano allarmanti , tanto allarmanti che mentre mangiavo la minestra mi sono strozzata con un farro e sono quasi morta soffocata!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Non ci potevo credere , per un attimo ho pensato : ” Ma no dai , nel dare la notizia avranno fatto un pò di confusione …non è possibile! ” . Così stamattina mi sono documentata direttamente dal sito Eurispes e … beh , non credo che per strabuzzare gli occhi e sentirvi male avrete bisogno di altro ! BUONA LETTURA!

“Le moderne tecnologie dovrebbero facilitare la libera espressione di sé e della propria creatività, non ingabbiarla nella routine e nell’autoreferenzialità improduttiva. Dovrebbero favorire l’incontro – un incontro aperto e sincero –, non la chiusura quando non un confronto vuoto e mascherato, con il mondo esterno. Le tecnologie multimediali potrebbero costituire, anche per i ragazzi, un’enorme risorsa, da sfruttare al meglio. Ma non sempre accade. Aggrappati tenacemente alla preponderanza dei messaggi veicolati dai mezzi di comunicazione e dalla pubblicità, essi troppo spesso si adeguano al modello che fa della perfezione dell’immagine un bene da raggiungere a tutti i costi. I ragazzi italiani non aspirano quasi mai a diventare eroi, ma al massimo a diventare famosi. Nello stesso tempo desta preoccupazione il progressivo allontanamento dei giovani dalla politica prima ancora che ne conoscano le dinamiche più complesse, prima che abbiano tempo di elaborare uno spirito di partecipazione civile ed orientamenti definiti. Questo senso generale di sfiducia ed estraneità nei confronti dei rappresentanti delle Istituzioni e della politica stessa, che talvolta sfocia chiaramente in disprezzo, blocca in anticipo nei ragazzi ogni desiderio di partecipare attivamente alla vita sociale, e di divenire quindi protagonisti ed attori di una parte del loro futuro.(Prof. Gian Maria Fara, Presidente dell’Eurispes)“

QUESTI ALCUNI DEI DATI RACCOLTI :

Senza idoli o fan di se stessi?Per la maggior parte (38,8%) gli adolescenti dichiarano di non voler assomigliare a nessuno in particolare. Tuttavia, tra i personaggi proposti, l’8,4% vorrebbe assomigliare a Barack Obama, il 5,3% a Valentino Rossi, il 4,9% a Belen Rodriguez, il 3,8% alla scrittrice K.K.Rowling, il 3,7% a Luciana Littizzetto, il 3,4% a Paris Hilton, il 3,2% al premio Nobel Rita Levi Montalcini; il 3% vorrebbe assomigliare allo showman Fiorello; il 2% a Fabrizio Corona e solo l’1,9% a Roberto Saviano. Nella voce “altro” (19,4%) i ragazzi hanno specificato a chi vorrebbero assomigliare da grandi: tra le varie risposte il 15,3% è rappresentato da “me stesso”, mentre nell’indicare personaggi noti il maggior numero delle preferenze è andato a Michelle Hunziker, Miley Cyrus, Beyoncè e Alessandra Amoruso, Cristiano Ronaldo e Alessandro Del Piero.

La certezza di una possibile vittoria della lotta alla criminalità organizzata non è molto condivisa (18,4%), anche se il 36,1% dei giovani ritiene che sia una cosa “abbastanza” possibile. Ha poca speranza che questo avvenga il 34,5% dei ragazzi e non ne ha alcuna il 9,8%. L’8,3% degli adolescenti crede fermamente nel fatto che le Forze dell’ordine tutelino i cittadini, il 42% ci crede “abbastanza” e il 40,1% ci crede, invece, “poco”, mentre l’8,6% “per niente”. Per quanto riguarda l’idea che i ragazzi hanno della mafia e l’ipotesi per cui anch’essa abbia un “codice morale” in base al quale agisce, ben il 41,7% non condivide “per niente” questa opinione, il 21% la condivide “poco”, il 22,4% “abbastanza”, mentre il 12,5% si trova “molto d’accordo” sul punto. Meno della metà dei ragazzi italiani crede pienamente che la legge sia uguale per tutti (40,3%), ben il 22,6% non ci crede “per niente”, il 19,3% ci crede “poco” e il 17,3% “abbastanza”.

I programmi preferiti. Il programma preferito è il cartoon americano “politicamente scorretto” I Simpson (18,1%).Grande successo riscuotono anche Amici (12,6%) I Cesaroni (12,4%). Seguono Zelig (6,5%), Le iene (6%), Uomini e donne (5,7%) e Striscia la notizia (5%). Sorprende invece il contenuto riscontro ottenuto dal Grande Fratello (2,6%) e da X-factor (3,7%).

Social network. Il 71,1% degli adolescenti intervistati possiede un profilo su Facebook. Percentuali di gran lunga più ridotte di giovani utenti della Rete si radunano attorno a My Space (17,1%) e Habbo (10,4%). La realtà parallela che è possibile vivere in Second Life affascina solo il 2,6% dei ragazzi e il 2,5% fa parte di coloro che amano “cinguettare” su Twitter.

Fare comunità…a distanza. Il 28,7% degli adolescenti ritiene che i social network siano utili strumenti per rimanere in contatto con gli amici di sempre e con quelli che si trovano lontano o non si frequentano da molto tempo (23,6%). Fare nuove conoscenze rappresenta il motivo principale per cui il 14,9% dei ragazzi ha deciso di affacciarsi al mondo delle reti sociali sul web. Alcuni social dispongono di particolari applicazioni (giochi, gruppi, test) che rappresentano, per il 10,4% dei ragazzi una possibile alternativa per riempire il tempo libero. Ridotta, invece, appare la parte di campione che sfrutta questi mezzi di comunicazione per rintracciare notizie su eventi o argomenti di proprio interesse (2,8%). Le opinioni negative sull’argomento coinvolgono solo il 13% degli adolescenti che, nell’8% dei casi, considerano i social solo una perdita di tempo e, per il 5%, sono convinti che usarli possa mettere a rischio la riservatezza personale.

Quali sono gli hobby preferiti dagli adolescenti di oggi? I ragazzi amano dedicarsi all’ascolto della musica (87%, di cui abbastanza 39,7% e molto 47,3%) e passano il proprio tempo libero davanti allo schermo di un pc: chattare, aggiornare il proprio profilo su Facebook e scaricare contenuti digitali, sono solo alcune delle innumerevoli opportunità messe a disposizione oggi dalla Rete Internet (77,9%, di cui abbastanza 42,2% e molto 35,7%). Preferisce la Tv,il 66,5% (di cui abbastanza 45,8% e molto 20,7%), mentre adorano il movimento il 56,9% (di cui abbastanza 28,2% e molto 28,7%) degli adolescenti, che occupano il proprio tempo libero praticando sport.  Al contrario, sono poco inclini a trasferire su un foglio le loro riflessioni o emozioni: non scrivono poesie/racconti e non affidano i propri segreti ad un diario rispettivamente il 90,8% (per niente 78,3% e poco 12,5%) e l’86,8% (per niente 66,9% e poco 19,9%) dei giovani. Sono “per niente” 71,8% o “poco” 16,3% propensi a dedicare agli altri il proprio tempo libero svolgendo attività di volontariato e sono, inoltre, restii alla lettura di fumetti (87,5%, di cui per niente 66,3% e poco 21,2%) e di libri (59,8%, di cui per niente 29,4% e poco 30,4%). Anche l’arte è un hobby poco diffuso: l’86,2% (per niente 59,6% e poco 26,6%) non disegna o dipinge e l’84,1% non suona uno strumento musicale (per niente 66,5% e poco 17,6%). Infine, preferisce non consumare davanti a videogiochi le ore dedicate al divertimento e al relax il 70,8% del campione (per niente 41,6% e poco 29,2%).”

QUESTI SARANNO GLI UOMINI DI DOMANI ?

I know that Google likes to cover its butt by placing new tools in Google Labs, then keeping the beta tag for years, but its new Social Search feature has gone AWOL.

OK, technically, Google has shut it down until sometime later today or tomorrow:

The Google Social Search experiment is temporarily down. We are working on it and expect to restore access sometime Monday or Tuesday

Down? Did they say down?

When has Google ever yanked a service after launching it? I know some services have failed–and therefore permanently shutdown–but temporarily yanked?

We have no word on why the service is down, but let’s have some fun speculating:

It was launched too soon, without proper care and attention to the details.It’s insanely popular and Google’s servers are taking a hammering, so the service is being reconfigured.It has been hacked, or there’s some kind of massive security hole that’s revealing far too much of your friends’ data.

My money is on #3? What do you think?

Social Media Monitoring in Just 60-Seconds. Guaranteed!

SARKOLAND (La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?)

Paroles: Bernie BONVOISIN
Musiques: Norbert A.KRIEF / Yves BRUSCO

Ils ressurgissent des ruines de nos actes
Il faut s’attendre au pire
On a souillé vos sols, souillé vos âmes
craché sur nos paroles données
à des femmes, à des hommes
qui étaient nos égaux et avaient pour défauts
parler une autre langue, prier un autre dieu
païens martyres réinvestissent nos cieux

La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème, nous ne sommes pas quittes
La France tu l’aimes ou tu la quittes ?

Terre d’accueil et policée
peaux d’exil, d’argile ou métissées
“j’ai pas cherché à v’nir,on est venu me chercher
alors, dis moi pourquoi la France je devrais la quitter”
On Marseillaise le droit au sol
on discrimine, on positive
la peur remplace le pétrole
chez l’électeur, la haine se ravive

La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème, nous ne sommes pas quittes
La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème, nous ne sommes pas quittes
La France tu l’aimes ou tu la quittes ?
A quoi sert de partir, c’est là ou je j’habite
La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème

Elle roule ta peine tumultueuse
vers mon immensité boueuse
la douceur avariée de ma terre promise
est juste le fruit de ton identité soumise

La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème, nous ne sommes pas quittes
La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
reste un problème, nous ne sommes pas quittes
La France tu l’aimes ou tu la quittes ?
A quoi sert de partir, c’est là ou je j’habite

La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
Sarko, t’as plus ta tête, c’est là ou j’habite
La France on l’aime ou on la quitte ?
t’as perdu tes papiers, c’est là ou je suis né
La France on l’aime

De l’album « SOULAGEZ VOUS DANS LES URNES » 2006

This last week was total hermitting.  Very much needed hermitting.

I am a dichotomy of introverted and extroverted, of social and anti-social. I have very strong needs for both.

Which is why when I do too much of one, I also go to the extremes of the other.

Thus after an extremely social week (almost week and half), I needed… NEEDED.. a week of nothing.

I literally only left my apt for groceries and getting the mail, with one exception which was business related.  I hermitted until Thursday when I ventured out to Panera and then went shoe shopping… if you can count a quick lunch at Panera and shoe shopping as unhermitting.. I still did them both alone. Happily alone I’ll add.

It wasn’t really until about 11pm Friday night that I even mildly got a hankering for company.  I didn’t really want to be social mind you, but I would have liked the company similar to that of a roomate.  No need for makeup or getting dressed up, you can lounge around in your way too old but comfy stained sweatshirt and relax. That is the kind of company I thought would be good, unfortunately I know no one in town that would fit that bill.

But it was a good week. A good chilling out, doing exactly nothing week, and I needed it.

No really I’ve just been sitting here, I’ve been so worn out from everything that’s happened in this last year it boggles the mind.  I’ve found more proof that I don’t have to worry about people thinking me a fraud. so, whatever, I’m still going through college. Still lagging behind in the pervasive of technology.

Hopefully I’ll start doing something exciting soon, it would hel p if I had an internet connection of a regular basis.