‘This is our best show ever!’ -Troy

Comic Book Jerk joins Troy and Will to catch everyone up on Young Justice: Invasion. This episode has so much more news and Fun, you will listen to it more than once!

Click Here to listen to the show!

1) Update with the guys

Will
Trivia Contest results (Chad Winstead)
DCUO releases “Last Laugh” with new content

Troy
Parsec Awards 2012 Nomination
Beaucoup Pop Podcast

2) Comic Book News  

• “Lucille is Coming” Image teases The Walking Dead #100
• Ninja Turtle movie by Michael Bay shut down by Paramount.
• Grant Morrison has been recognized by Queen Elizabeth II of England, and has been made a ‘Member Most Excellent Order of the British Empire” for services to film and literature
• Judge Dredd movie trailer
• Young Justice updates with the Comic Book Jerk

3) Young Justice Catch Up:

Thank you Comic Book Jerk for joining us to catch everyone up on Young Justice!

S2, Ep1
Apr. 28, 2012
Happy New Year!
Five years after the Justice League were controlled by Vandal Savage, their time under his control comes back to haunt them. The Team has to take on alien invaders, starting with Lobo.

S2, Ep2
May 5, 2012
Earthlings
The team of Miss Martian, Superboy, Beast Boy and Adam Strange are sent to the planet Rann.

S2, Ep3
May 12, 2012
Alienated
The invading Kroloteans receive aid from an unexpected ally.

S2, Ep4
May 19, 2012
Salvage
Superboy and Blue Beetle take on Intergang, while Nightwing tries to salvage the soul of a former comrade.

S2, Ep5
May 26, 2012
Beneath
Blue Beetle searches for a missing friend, while the team of Miss Martian, Batgirl, Bumblebee and Wonder Girl return to Bialya.

S2, Ep6
Jun. 2, 2012
Bloodlines
A mysterious intruder appears inside Mount Justice claiming to be a time-traveling visitor from the future.

S2, Ep7
Jun. 9, 2012
Depths
Artemis returns to the team to protect an important satellite launch.

* text from imdb.com.

^Wesley Snipes?

5) Resource of the Week:

Batman Arkham City Lockdown

By: Warner Brothers

UPDATED WITH NEW LEVELS & FEATURES – OPTIMIZED FOR THE NEW iPAD!
The inmates have escaped and Batman has his hands full defeating an army of henchmen and some of his most iconic villains. Scour the rooftops and the seedy underbelly of Gotham City through a series of one-on-one battles with the Joker, Two-Face and more, as well as the Batman: Arkham City Lockdown exclusive – Deathstroke. Choose from several Batman skins and power-ups as you punch, kick and combo your way to cleaning up Gotham City.

And the critics love it!
• “…blown away at the graphics and fun multi-touch gameplay” – GeekWire
• “Batman Arkham City Lockdown is a beautiful, accessible game that iOS gamers and Batman aficionados will enjoy” – MacLife
• “Overall, Lockdown is a solid expansion of the Arkham universe.” – USA Today Game Hunters

What’s New in Version 1.3
POISON IVY & ROBIN JOIN THE FIGHT!

*from iTunes description.

6) Comic Review

Man of God #1 and #2 by Pinwheel Press

Troy and Will were given the opportunity to review a new comic  published by Pinwheel Press. Will loves the comic and strongly recommends it, while Troy does have some suggestions on what might make it the perfect product.

Here is a link to Man of God’s Facebook Page.

Follow them at @PinwheelPress on Twitter!

7) Muy Bueno and Honorable Mention (comics to buy on June 27)

Muy Bueno

 • THE TEEN TITANS LOST in an inner-world!

Contact Information:
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Voicemail at 641.715.3900 and enter extension 694617#.

You can subscribe to us on iTunes, Stitcher, and now you can find us in the XBox 360 Marketplace!

Help out the show by going to www.completelycomics.wordpress.com/helptheshow (don’t forget to check out the Comic Radio!)

* a proud member of the Comic Related Podcast Network.

Click Here to listen to the show!

By: James Robinson (story), Nicola Scott (pencils), Trevor Scott (inks), Alex Sinclair (colors)

The Story: With some stories, it’s better to start at the end.

The Review: I can hardly believe this, but pretty close to a year ago, I talked about how much I liked parallel-universe ridiculousness in all its forms.  I’m such a sucker for that kind of stuff that if you told me there’d be an episode of Glee where for some musical-related reason, everything went the opposite of how it should be (read: watchable), I’d probably show up.  So obviously, I really like DC’s Multiverse concept, and was excited to see its return, starting with Earth Two.

And for most people, you can’t hear “Earth Two” without associating it with the Justice Society.  I imagine the purists will be frothing at the mouth once I mention the Society doesn’t appear for even a moment in this issue—at least, not as such.  But have faith and remember who’s writing this thing: Robinson, the man who brought the Society back to prominence for the new millennium, so his track record is pretty good here.

Speaking as a Society purist myself, I approve of what Robinson does here.  Yes, we start out with ye olde DC Trinity saving the world as usual, but the big difference between them and their Earth One counterparts is in their choice of allies.  Earth Two definitely feels like a lonelier, more ordinary world, as far as its superheroes are concerned.  Instead of a League of heavy hitters, Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman have only their immediate families and the dedicated soldiers of many nations to help them out.

So it should come as no surprise that the invasion of Apokolips results in a much direr crisis here than in Earth One, particularly as New God Steppenwolf leads the charge.  His presence proves crucial in this story, as it takes at least a god to convincingly bring down the Trinity.  And while we’re on the topic of New Gods, you have to appreciate that Robinson plays up their divine nature and power, an aspect Geoff Johns completely overlooked when he used them in his Justice League arc.  It really brings home the end-of-the-world feeling when Mercury appears to Wonder Woman, announcing the fall of the Greek Pantheon “on plains afar,” indicating this is a kind of Ragnarok for all champions, moral and divine, on Earth Two.

Yet even the ancient tales of Ragnarok foretold that a new world would come of it, so consider the fall of the old heroes, old as they are, as a necessary step for the new to rise.  Robinson uses the opportunity of DC’s relaunch to look at Alan Scott, Jay Garrick, and Al Pratt anew.  While they’ve lost their elder statesmen status, and the respect and wisdom that came with it, their youth and Robinson’s smart character work makes them, if anything, more accessible than ever.  You get a great sense of Alan’s centeredness, Jay as a man of the people (even at age 21), and Al’s outstanding courage before they put on any kind of costume, reminding you that the Society’s appeals comes from their innate heroism, not the powers they wield.

It is good to have Scott back at work.  To be frank, I’m so used to her gritty, dark stylings on Secret Six that I had my doubts if she could pull of a big, grandiose superhero series.  What a fool I was.  When you see that first double splash of the Trinity clawing their way through hordes of Parademons, with Sinclair’s sparkling colors livening everything, the only word that comes to mind is “epic.”  Scott’s art is like the beautiful love child of George Peréz’s sense of drama and Joe Kubert’s earthiness.  Few artists could’ve conveyed the lasting damage of Apokolips’ invasion on Earth the way Scott does, giving you a fish-eyed view of the Italian landscape, scarred by multiple vast, boiling, smoking craters.

Conclusion: A very promising start to another whole new DCU, supported by Robinson’s even writing and Scott’s magnificent art.

Grade: B+

- Minhquan Nguyen

Some Musings: - Vesta “torn to pieces”?  A very sad fate for the only divinity in the Greek pantheon who never got involved in any drama, nonsense, or petty violence.

- Call me a sap, but I found that goodbye between Batman and Robin pretty sad.  I imagine if Earth One’s Batman had a daughter instead of Damian, he’d be a much more sentimental guy, too.

Cut to… now. And this—Fight Your Rival part deux. Only took a year. The question immediately becomes, “What happened?”

I’ll tell you what happened.

The Batman happened.

Right after the first FYR, I got it in my head that the second one had to feature Batman. The problem with that is, who can honestly fight the Batman? That is, who can have an actual fight with Batman instead of just waking up one morning, putting on their best coat with the intent to find and fight Batman, and stopping when they find a bat shaped note in their coat pocket that says, “I win”?

As an objective mind on the matter (I love Batman but anyone who knows me knows I’m ridiculously far away from being a fanboy), I honestly couldn’t find anyone who would actually put up a fair fight much less take him down. And part of that is just because of how Batman’s written; Batman wins because no matter how improbable the odds, Batman always has a plan and always sees every obstacle coming. He just won’t be defeated because he refuses to be.

So that was my basis. Who else could I honestly just not imagine losing? Who else wouldn’t give up and always has impossible solutions when facing insurmountable odds? Who else recruits young people to help him and then immediately starts fearing for their lives and ultimately pushes them away? Who else is a super intelligent genius who lost his family but still has the weight of it on his shoulders, at all times? Who else is the benefactor of extremely romantic “I already thought of that” moments possibly because of decades’ worth of history?

Oh… Well. Here we are.

Why They’d Fight

Might seem like there’s totally not a legitimate reason, but there is. In Justice League: Apocalypse, Batman saved the day by threatening to destroy the planet Apokolips. Whether or not it was an idle threat, Darkseid looked right into the unyielding, unemotional plastic of Batman’s mask and decided that he thought Batman capable of making that decision. He thought Batman was capable of mass genocide.

And guess who really hates mass genocide?

Not that he hasn’t been forced to commit it from time to time, but there’s something about the Doctor that keeps him from ultimately destroying threats to the galaxy—compassion. Tons of it—maybe too much even. Compassion that often results in him asking whatever villain he’s facing to simply leave and go home directly before he defeats them. Compassion that, at one point, had him working with the Daleks, his mortal foes, to help them repopulate their race.

The Scenario

So how does this all fall into place? The TARDIS takes the Doctor to the middle of some new Crisis. Batman saves the day by threatening another planet of psychos with a giant doomsday device. Maybe he’s bluffing, maybe Darkseid was right and he’s totally not. Either way, it works, everyone goes home, and Batman, unwilling to entrust the doomsday device with anyone, takes it back to the cave to lock it away for eternity… or until he needs it again. I know—I probably took a big liberty there, but this is all a “What If…?” anyway.

The thing is, the Doctor, somehow involved, would see this and not approve at all. In the end, this FYR would be the final ten minutes of a Doctor Who / Justice League crossover.

And now that I’ve exposed juuuust how much I’ve thought about this, let’s get to the actual contest itself.

The Main Event

It’s a late night at the cave. The Crisis has just ended and Batman is already prepared for the Doctor to be there when he arrives. But he’s not. Even so, Batman remains poised, watching bio-scanners he placed throughout the cave years ago (all set up to scan for the particular anomaly of multiple heartbeats).

The Doctor shows up after Batman has settled in. The Doctor exits the TARDIS in plain sight.

Batman and the Doctor talk and it’s something I’m not going to endeavor to write here. The Doctor tries to reason with him, but Batman is cold and serious, deflecting the Doctor’s pleas to give up the doomsday device with solid Batlogic (“There’s nowhere safer than here for the device,” for example). In the end, Batman would make the point that there’s nowhere else in the galaxy where the device is less safe than in the hands of the Doctor. The Doctor and his TARDIS, always at the center of whatever cataclysmic event.

The Doctor says he’s going to go toss the device into a black hole—somewhere where it truly won’t fall into the wrong hands.

Batman says that he won’t give it to the Doctor and have him get caught by the Daleks or any of his other enemies along the way. He just won’t take that chance.

The Doctor won’t take the chance of it staying here until the day when Batman decides he’ll actually use it.

Batman says that that’s too bad.

With a remote from his belt, Batman catches the Doctor in a variant of the Silurian purification chamber (Series 5, “Cold Blooded”).

A quick aside: If you’re wondering how the hell Batman possibly got such tech or mimicked it, I believe the answer can be as simple as “He’s Batman.”

The chamber wouldn’t kill the Doctor but would keep him locked down and in pain while Batman tries to decide what to do with him.

In the meantime, after the Doctor eventually passes out, Batman puts him in a massive containment facility (now with 50% less ape gene purification pain) to question him.

The Doctor awakens later. Tim is about to go on a night out. Alfred is attending in the cave.

The Doctor and Batman go back and forth about the genocide Batman isn’t planning but keeping up his sleeve, like a playing card. The Doctor, naturally, hates genocide.

They end on the note that it’s a stalemate.

But the Doctor corrects him—it’s more of a paradox, really.

This gives Batman pause.

To make matters worse, the Doctor says to Batman, “Let me help.”

Batman is taken aback because he knows what the Doctor means but he doesn’t want to even consider it. This is a quest. This is his life, as it happened. He can’t let anyone change it. Especially not if it means creating a paradox.

He stares at the Doctor for a moment and then walks out, wishing the Doctor a good night.

The Doctor calls after him, and when Batman stops to listen, the Doctor gives a good ol’ “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

Batman decides that he definitely does not like the Doctor.

Alfred is outside, asking Bruce what the Doctor meant about helping.

Distracted, Batman says that he’s talking about his parents—that the Doctor could go back and save them, despite its possibly being a fixed point in time. Changing it would create a paradox that—

A paradox.

Batman tells Alfred to contact Robin and then goes back into the containment chamber only to find that the Doctor has been freed by…

The Doctor.

Batman: “Clever. A paradox. I didn’t think you’d resort to one at first. But I let you out. I’ve always known I would eventually. And the moment I do, you come back here to create a paradox. To free yourself and change the past… so that in the future, you can come back and set yourself free and change the past.”

Seriously, just trust me.

The second Doctor, lets say this Doctor is David Tennant (just trust me on this) says, “Well… Something like that.”

Batman: “Of course, that doesn’t mean either of you are escaping.”

The Doctor (David Tennant [DT]) goes on sonicing the restraints on the Doctor (Matt Smith [MS]).

The first Doctor (MS), gets punchy: “Are you daft? You can’t stop both of us from reaching that doomsday device.”

Batman: “I don’t need to stop both of you.”

Robin arrives and beats down the second Doctor (DT) while Batman beats down the first (MS). Because, really… I mean, really.

Batman secures the first Doctor (MS).

Batman: “Robin, secure him.”

Robin: “Right.” <to the Doctor, mocking> “I’m sorry, mate.”

Batman: “I’m going to call Superman. See what he knows about—”

Robin: “I’m so sorry.”

Batman turns around, but not before Robin’s bolas wrap around him.

Only then does Batman actually look at him. All dressed up for his party.

A tweed suit.

A bowtie.

Batman: “No.”

2^nd Doctor (DT): “Oh yes.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “You forced our hand.”

Batman doesn’t struggle against his bonds but starts getting up as he again, emotional, says, “No.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “I’m sorry. But you have to understand—we haven’t done anything to him.”

Robin: “We are him… Well, I am… him?… I am we?”

2^nd Doctor (DT): “That sentence got away from you there.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “Yeah, I suppose it did.”

Batman: “But—”

2^nd Doctor (DT): “How? Well,” ::tosses the first Doctor (MS) a pocket watch:: “It’s… complicated.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “A ‘chameleon arch’ [Series 3, “Human Nature”]. They come standard in every TARDIS, you know? Makes it terribly simple to put everything I am right in this watch.” <tosses it to Robin>

Robin: <catches the watch> “Two hearts and all.”

This whole anti-aging tech in a tiny device thing sound too crazy for you? You must not watch any Doctor Who.

2^nd Doctor (DT): “And throw in a little Lazarus anti-aging technology, refined without all of that mutation nonsense getting in the way, of course, pack it into a Sonic Screwdriver, and you have a one way trip back to youth.”

Batman: “But… Robin… He…”

Robin kneels down in front of Batman and offers a very emotional, very honest, “I’m sorry, Bruce.”

Batman, glances up, and then, having freed himself, head butts Robin, making sure to knock him out in one blow.

The second Doctor (DT) runs.

Batman stands up and faces the first Doctor (MS), saying, “You know this can’t go on. I was content to let you free, but all of this, what you do… No one should have this power.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “I use it responsibly.”

Batman: “It’s impossible to use that power responsibly.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “And yet you’re keeping a doomsday device… just in case.”

Batman has no reply for that. He starts to walk forward.

1^st Doctor (MS): “You won’t stop him.”

Batman: “I don’t need to stop him. Just you. I stop you and he never exists.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “Right… Unless he’s a younger version of me.”

Batman’s eyes narrow.

1^st Doctor (MS): “See, that’s the thing about me and this… time travel business. It gets rather confusing. Which is bad most of the times… But not this time. See, it’s entirely possible that my friend… well, me, was just doing what I asked him to. In a note. Perhaps… a letter. Probably something more complicated but left for him somewhere where I knew he’d be. Just that extra little bit of misdirection.”

Batman: “I can still stop him.”

1^st Doctor (MS): “By getting past me.”

Batman tries to leave the room, but the Doctor catches his arm.

1^st Doctor (MS): “Aren’t you curious… what Robin will look like when he grows up?”

Batman’s eyes narrow and the extent of all of this finally comes home. The Doctor (MS) didn’t come here right after the event. Not right away. He prepared first. He trained.

With Batman.

I know that this is insane. I also, however, know that this is insane.

He looks from the Doctor to Robin and realizes for the first time that this Doctor is an older version of his Robin.

And what ensues is a fight that I refuse to actually imagine. Because not even I can dork out so hard that I devote any time to plotting it out. Suffice it to say that the two fight, Batman VS The Doctor as trained by Batman.

Meanwhile, the 2^nd Doctor (DT) encounters Alfred.

Alfred moves to stop him.

But the 2^nd Doctor is David Tennant. David… Tennant. And how does he get past Alfred? By being the Doctor as played by David Tennant. He shows the doomsday device to Alfred. He shows Alfred what Batman has become. But more importantly than anything, he tells Alfred that he can end this. That he can do the one thing Batman never could. The one thing he could never bring himself to do.

Alfred protests. All of those villains…

But all of those villains are reactions. They’re all answers to Batman—to the man in the mask.

If Alfred loves Bruce, he’ll let the Doctor help. Let him save Bruce from what he’s become. Let him save Bruce from what he has to be.

Alfred is uncertain.

Meanwhile, Batman naturally wins his physical altercation with the Doctor. He hurries to a console.

1^st Doctor (MS): “You’re not going to catch him.”

Batman ignores him and works on the keypad.

They both pause when they hear a TARDIS firing up—going through time.

1^st Doctor (MS): “Bruce…”

Batman picks up a com to call someone from the Justice League.

1^st Doctor (MS): “Bruce… It’s too—”

Batman ignores the Doctor and calls for a transport through time. Even then, still fighting. But the sound of the TARDIS fades.

Batman looks at the Doctor.

And the Doctor says, “I’m so sorry.”

Easily worth another article; would it be right to change his timeline to fix this? Would it be wrong to not create a paradox for the one man who deserves it?

Batman says something in reply, but suddenly, he jumps out of bed, having had another nightmare. His mother rushes in, asking if it’s another nightmare about the night when they saw The Mark of Zorro. He says no—that it was something else, but he can’t remember.

Time passes. Super heroes still come to Metropolis. In reply to those heroes, super villains still rise in Gotham. Perhaps someone else takes up the fight against them, but more likely than not, it’s still Bruce Wayne. Although it may be a Bruce Wayne who follows in his father’s footsteps and fights corruption with public service. Or perhaps he still becomes Batman, only a heavily tech-based Batman who relies far more on science, like an odd blend between Batman and Tony Stark.

Either way, he doesn’t become the man who threatened a planet with genocide. That Batman, now erased from time (again) was bested by the Doctor.

Don’t agree? Of course you don’t. Feel free to comment below but please keep your comments intelligent and calm; we’re not going to post anything offensive or base.

By: Geoff Johns (writer), Jim Lee (penciller), Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Batt, Mark Irwin (inkers), Alex Sinclair, Tony Avina, Hi-Fi (colorists)

The Story: Darkseid, wouldn’t printing ads on the back of milk cartons work better than all this?

The Review: Justice League Dark demonstrated, by negative inference, how important it is to give each member of the team an active role in a conflict.  But more than divvying up the work for tactical purposes, it’s even more important, for long-term storytelling purposes, to give each character a distinct spiritual role within the team.

Unfortunately, Johns hasn’t succeeded in making his League anything more than a gathering of powerful super-beings—which is surprising, since Johns usually can’t resist making a symbol out of everything he writes.  The problem is the characters come across so flat just in their personality that it’s hard to draw out any deeper substance from them.

Johns simply hasn’t used the team he’s brought together well.  Take Aquaman.  I don’t think he says much more than four lines the entire issue, and aside from putting his trident into Darkseid’s eye (which, really, is only copycatting Wonder Woman’s sword-trick two panels earlier), he serves no crucial purpose at all.  Neither does Flash, for that matter, unless you count coming up with the one of the lamest team names ever in a craven ploy for heartwarming laughter.  And after all that drama between Cyborg and his dad, Johns allows only a single throwaway panel and line to resolve it.

At least Johns takes some pains to finally give the only lady at this sausage fest something important to do.  That said, when you think about her biggest accomplishment in the fight against Darkseid, all anyone really needed from her was her lasso.  As charming as her naïve wisdom is (“The world belongs to no one.  And everyone.”), she only seems to have value in the absence of others.  Without Superman, she fills in as the team’s heavy hitter; without Batman’s leadership, she leads by example of her fearlessness.  Once the boys come home, she’s back to fodder again.

Speaking of Batman’s leadership, who knew that he’d end up being the biggest team player of this whole group, not only encouraging each member to do their best (to Superman: “We need you”; to Cyborg: “You are our only shot”), but downright supporting the idea of them sticking together.  I suppose it’s not the worst portrayal in the world (compared to Green Lantern’s annoying downership—“We’re not friends.   We’re not a team.  This was just a one-time thing, okay?”), but it certainly takes a little readjustment of your traditional idea of Batman.

But of all the characters Johns makes poor use of, the worst offense has to be the ill-judged choice of Darkseid as the lead villain.  Let me clarify that: the idea of Darkseid as the League’s first foe is great, but bringing him in with little context to his godhood and with little showing to the magnitude of his depravities and horrors—well, I doubt many readers see him at this point as anything more than your typical, bulky galactic tyrant.  It doesn’t help that Johns writes him as somewhat simpleminded: “He is mine.  As is your world.”

Probably the most interesting things to come out of this issue is a startling revelation about Darkseid’s true motive (spoiler alert—“the search for the daughter of Darkseid.”), and the bits and pieces you can glean from the back-up feature starring Phantom Stranger and Pandora.  It seems like Johns may have a multiverse-spanning epic in mind with these two—which doesn’t seem like the greatest idea, since he seems unable to write anything high-concept without making it sound petulant or simplistic: “You rewrote reality.”  “I realigned it.  I strengthened it.”  “You think you did.  You’re dangerous.”

Lee always delivers a slick-looking issue, which is perfect for the League, but every now and then little details get past him.  For example, why does Wonder Woman, standing in the aftermath of Darkseid’s departure, look pristine, unruffled, and untouched?  It’s worth mentioning Carlos D’anda does a fine job on the back-up, though his aesthetic seems more suited for a Wildstorm title than a confrontation between celestial immortals.

Conclusion: Overall, a highly disappointing affair, hardly deserving to be considered DC’s flagship title.

Grade: C+

-Minhquan Nguyen

UN TEMA ANTES DE EMPEZAR

Algo que se fue generando como un habitual entre las casas editoriales es el denominado crossover que, cuyo objetivo es presentar una historia central de alto impacto, que tendrá consecuencias para su protagonistas, junto a historias adicionales (tie -ins) que, permiten conocer, mes a mes, la visión de los personajes de los demás títulos ante los hechos que están sucediendo en la historia central. Otra razón, que no se puede negar, es vender la mayor cantidad de números que se puedan, sirven todos aquellos que vengan con el banner de la saga en cuestión y estrujar lo más posible el asunto para tener un buen resultado económico al final. Ya sabemos que los famosos tie-ins, salvo contadas ocasiones, no sirven de ABSOLUTAMENTE NADA. Esto es un tip para aquellos que empiezan su recorrido comiquero estén atentos que a veces es mejor leer la historia central. Es un vicio que, ahora último, siguen usando las grandes compañías. Es cosa de ver lo sucedido con Fear Itself en Marvel y Flashpoint en DC.

Después de este paréntesis, sigamos con Legends.

ANTECEDENTES

El año 1986 es muy importante en DC: The Dark Knight Returns de Frank Miller, Watchmen de Alan Moore y Dave Gibbons, Swamp Thing de Alan Moore y tenemos el reinicio de dos de sus rostros más poderosos y populares luego de los sucedido en Crisis de Tierras Infinitas de Marv Wolfman y George Pérez: Superman (en Man of Steel con John Byrne) y Wonder Woman (bajo la responsabilidad de Pérez). Un borrón y cuenta nueva para la reinterpretación de sus orígenes con una perspectiva más fresca luego de un magno evento como fue Crisis. Ahora, cómo seguir enganchando a los lectores? Ya que una saga funcionó a la perfección, no estaría de más usar una fórmula similar aprovechando que estaban en la cresta de la ola. En ese año, Dick Giordano era el editor en DC y rondaba la idea de hacer algo tremendo. Quiénes serían capaces de llevar esa tarea a buen término? Los encargados del proyecto fueron Len Wein y John Ostrander (Antes de continuar, les sugiero que empiecen a buscar material de estos autores. Consulten en la tienda Shazam Comics).

¿Cuál sería su desafío?

Legends nos plantea cómo se logra destruir un concepto (“Leyenda” y todo lo que lo relacione) y cómo es posible que sea revivido. Primero que nada, para destruirlo se necesitaba de alguien muy poderoso que pudiera idear un plan “a prueba de fallas” y provocar el caos necesario en la población y así borrar hasta la última gota de fe en sus leyendas. El villano no podía ser otro que la creación misma del mal que surgió del gran Rey Jack Kirby. Hablamos de Darkseid, Señor de Apokolips y el máximo villano del Universo DC. Así que veríamos a Darkseid observar la destrucción de los héroes más poderosos de la Tierra para que los ojos de sus habitantes miraran y obedecieran a un solo dios, a él, Darkseid, y nada más. Quién sería capaz de llevar gráficamente esta propuesta? El elegido fue John Byrne quien, con la buena respuesta de Man of Steel y en un gran momento artístico entregó lo mejor para plasmar cada una de las viñetas llenas de acción y drama que podemos encontrar en esta historia de seis números.

Durante la saga, Darkseid es un voyerista del daño que va causando. No ha movido un solo dedo pero tiene a todos su esbirros creando el caos que él necesita para preparar el camino hacia la devoción de los seres humanos ante su persona. Con la ayuda de Glorious Godfrey, Darkseid logra generar la duda ante la presencia de estos seres superpoderosos lo que llevará al desorden y a que el presidente de la época, Ronald Reagan, tome la decisión de ordenar que los superhéroes cesen sus actividades. Pero eso no es todo, Darkseid, de entrada, da su mayor golpe al Capitán Marvel, al hacerle creer que, durante su combate contra Macro Man, lo asesina al utilizar su poder de Shazam y convertirse en Billy Batson. El pobre muchacho no supera su dolor, miedo y culpa hasta al final de la historia. Mientras tanto, Darkseid ríe como el villano que es.

Casi como tener a un diabillo y a un ángel sobre sus hombros, para que guíen su conciencia,  Darkseid tiene a su ayudante y mano derecha, Desaad y por el lado del bien, Phantom Stranger quién, durante toda la saga, le dice a Darkseid que perderá pero el amo de Apokolips no atiende a sus palabras.

En esta saga puedes encontrar varias cosas interesantes:

• La formación de la Task Force X, posteriomente conocida como Suicide Squad (Deadshot, Captain Bummerang, Enchantress, Blockbuster, Bronze Tiger) con la REAL DEAL Amanda Waller, como se merece: con toda su obesidad y mal carácter.

• A un Blue Bettle luchando contra el crimen. Hasta tenía título propio (al igual que Booster Gold y Firestorm).

• A una de las más olvidables formaciones de la Justice League (No hay Superman, Wonder Woman ni Batman. Tenemos a Vibe, Gypsy, J’onn J’onnz, Vixen, Firestorm, Elongated Man, Steel).

•  A Jason Todd quien cuestiona a Batman por las comparaciones con Dick Grayson.

• A un Wally West que recién se está poniendo los pantalones y asumiendo su papel como elnuevo Flash.

• La llegada de la renovada Wonder Woman.

• A un gran héroe pero prepotente como nadie, Guy Gardner.

En seis números tienes de todo lo que necesitas para una lectura entretenida bien narrada y dibujada. Una joyita que no debe faltar en tu biblioteca pero, además de grandes momentos, a que nos llevará Legends? A una bien merecida derrota histórica de Darkseid y a una nueva formación de la Justice League (la que todos queremos y extrañamos. La de Giffen, DeMatteis y Kevin Maguire).

Los clásicos no mueren y realmente vale la pena volver a revisarlos ante tanta malas o ni tan malas megasagas actuales pero que  no tienen el nivel de aquellas. Por mucho que exista un Johns, un Bendis y hasta un Fraction. Hay algo de las sagas clásicas que cuesta que las nuevas mantengan, qué será ese algo? Corazón, tal vez? (Una pista, en Legends tenemos la oportunidad de tomar cualquier número y saber de qué trata porque los autores se tomaron la molestia de relatar, en algunas viñetas, en que va la saga hasta ese momento). Quizás lo vayamos descubriendo con cada historia que comentemos aquí.

By: Geoff Johns (writer), Jim Lee (penciller), Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Mark Irwin, Joe Weems (inkers), Alex Sinclair, Gabe Eltaeb, Tony Avina (colorists)

The Story: I’ll give this for Hal—the kid takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.

The Review: Look, I get it.  Even with a whole cast of perfectly formed, likable characters, you’re going to have your favorites.  That’s no crime.  At least, it’s not if you’re a member of the audience.  If you’re the writer, favoritism can lead to some messy issues in your story.  Not only must your pet characters carry the plot forward on their own, which can’t always work, you also have a bunch of others standing around as dead weight.

That’s the situation the League finds themselves in here.  Green Lantern’s presence in this series has been pushy from the start, and now he literally shoves himself forward to take up more page-time, at the expense of his teammates.  Most of the issue features Hal trying to take down Darkseid singlehandedly, and actually, you get a certain satisfaction watching the New God shut down the cocky pilot each time, hardly breaking a sweat.  And even when Hal’s not grabbing all the action for himself, he dominates the dialogue, leaving his fellow heroes little say.

For the skeptical, let me take a number from the politician’s handbook and cite some statistics.  Superman gets all of five lines total this issue, including his exit, “Arghhhh!”  The Man of Steel gets beat by literal man of steel Cyborg, with six.  Wonder Woman happily flaunts her three lines, and poor Aquaman has to settle for a measly two.  It’d be one thing if Johns at least made the most of their brief speaking parts, offering some golden character moments to make up for their brevity.  But more frequently, he gives them just about the most nominal bits of dialogue you’ve ever read in a comic, with Aquaman (not having suffered enough, apparently) getting the stingiest: “Let’s ask him,” and “And?”

The vast, vast majority of the issue fixates on Green Lantern, with Batman and the Flash chiming in not so much as equals, but as supporting players so Hal has actual humans to talk to.  Even here, it feels like the Barry does little except remark on the obvious (“Dammit, I can’t fly.”).  Only Bruce really exerts his own voice into the mix, calmly talking over Hal’s—there’s no other word for it—bratty exclamations to keep things focused on what’s at stake.

At least Johns has made Darkseid into a plenty formidable figure.  In contrast to his crack-of-doom introduction last issue, now he says nothing at all as he swats the League around, which makes a lot of sense.  When you’re a god, why would you deign to speak with the specks you’re crushing?  You have to love that once he bowls them over (using Hal as the ball, to my delight), he just walks on, never giving them a second thought.

Lee’s art is the stuff that summer blockbusters are made of.  Given how he tends to draw his characters with a kind of blank perfection, little marred by emotion of any kind, Lee prospers in action, and he gets a lot of this issue.  Watching Hal’s fruitless spar with Darkseid is actually thrilling, as Lee gives the god such bigger proportions that the sequence really has the tone of a kid trying to headlock his big bro who got to college on a football scholarship.  And of course, Sinclair’s dazzling colors can’t be beat when it comes to splashy stories like this.

Conclusion: At some point, this issue ceased to be about a team and more about a couple guys and their tagalongs.  Johns has to rectify this soon, or this title will soon lose its credit and reputation.

Grade: C+

- Minhquan Nguyen

Some Musings: - The Flash and Superman have their first, unofficial race, and I think, considering Clark is the one who gets zapped here, it’s safe to say Barry comes out on top.

By: Geoff Johns (writer), Jim Lee (penciller), Scott Williams (inker), Alex Sinclair & Gabe Eltaeb (colorist)

The Story: Vic, would this be a bad time for me to suggest you star as the new Bionic Man?

The Review: I admit, I had mixed feelings when I heard Cyborg was going to join the Justice League.  As a Teen Titans fan, I always liked the character, and thought Johns’ portrayal of him as the heart of the team very cool.  And when Brad Meltzer put up Cyborg as a potential member of the newly reformed Justice League of America (back in 2006), I didn’t think it was a bad idea.  I just felt that as a hero, Victor is competent, but not high-tier material.

Then it occurred to me that on a team that has Green Arrow on its roster, perhaps it doesn’t make sense to be picky about who gets to join.  Anyway, in this issue, Cyborg gets some major upgrades in his power set, as his father imbues him with a cornucopia of highly advanced, barely understood tech devised by the great geniuses of the DCU, including Anthony Ivo, Dr. Magnus, and, interestingly enough, Ryan Choi (the short-lived Atom replacement).

It would be impossible to figure out how all these technologies come together to make Cyborg a living, functioning whole, and Johns doesn’t even try, but clearly, it all makes for a formidable powerhouse.  Running on auto-pilot, Victor immediately dispatches two of the Parademons who break into the lab by obliterating them with a “white noise cannon.”  The combined trauma of his injuries and cybernetic revival makes him freak out, of course, and he takes it out on his dad in an over-the-top, screaming fury: “You did this to me!”

But what doesn’t sound over-the-top in this early formation of the League?  All the characters sound rather flat and one-dimensional, though some more than others.  Wonder Woman can’t seem to deviate from the same line no matter what she says (“What a day for a fight!”), as if Johns doesn’t know exactly how to write her, which may be a major problem in time.  And it’s hard to tell if Hal gets the most lines because that’s just his nature, or because Johns knows how to write him best, but whatever the reason, his constant, bratty chatter gets pretty grating after a while: “I can do anything with this ring.  So, really, what can you do that we can’t?”

That remark gets directed toward Aquaman, who’s forced to prove his chops to the team in this issue.  While he does manage to earn some respect from his new teammates, in a weird way, he also reveals the limitations of his own powers.  It’s not like he can always summon great white sharks to take down Parademons for him, and his trident tricks won’t always cut it.  But again—this is a team that includes Batman and Green Arrow, so let’s not be too prejudiced about this.

Johns continues to drive the story at an elderly pace, and this time, the interaction among the heroes isn’t lively enough to cover up the lack of forward movement.  You’d think with the godlike villain at hand here, we’d have a more epic conflict (like Grant Morrison’s flawed but undeniably grandiose plot in Final Crisis), but it all boils down to your garden-variety planetary invasion, even with a pretty dramatic ending.

This issue offers good evidence of why I consider Lee a pleasing artist, but not a very thoughtful one.  He makes several dramatic missteps here that undermine the integrity of the script, like Victor’s Tarzan-like leap as he flees from his dad (an inappropriate bit of slapstick for what should be an emotional moment), or having Batman off-panel when Lantern says, “Are you laughing…at a time like this?”  At least Lee designs a truly imposing Darkseid, one who makes the entire League look like kids compared to his impressive stature.

Conclusion: Slickly drawn and mildly entertaining, but hardly the material DC’s premier team of heroes deserves.

Grade: B-

- Minhquan Nguyen

Some Musings: - It’ll be interesting to see where Johns plans to take Steve Trevor in this story, and how he’ll fit into the modern Wonder Woman mythos, especially since we haven’t had a single glimpse or mention of him in her solo title.

As a result of this vicarious method of watching I have no clue what has happened since eggheaded evildoer Lex Luthor’s plan to destroy Clark literally fell down around (and on top) of him at the end of the 7th season.  So it was with some caution that I sat down to watch the long awaited final 2 hours that Deano had watched illegally (call the cops) online weeks earlier.

First though, here’s a quick recap on key plot points incase you missed the last few seasons like I did.  Lois and Clark are a couple.  Tess Luthor has appeared from the woodwork and is busy rebuilding the Luthor empire.  Darkseid is coming to conquer the planet and has sent Granny Goodness (remember her?) to recruit an army for him.  Oh, and old man Kent is appearing to Clark as a spectre.  Sadly he still wears the same old outfit that went out of style in 1994.  Scruffy git.

Shown over 2 weeks in the UK for some unfathomable reason (curse you E4) the finale starts painfully slow with Lois and Clark both having second thoughts about whether they should get married.  Meanwhile, Granny Goodness appears to a possessed Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) and gives him a ring made of gold Kryptonite which can easily be slipped onto Clark’s finger when he says his vows (he’s the best man). All the while Tess Luthor’s car is run off the road and she is attacked by 2 men dressed in black.  She isn’t seen again until the 2nd hour.

The big day arrives slower than the planet Apokolips seems to move (yawn), and everything is going smoothly.  But, as Oliver goes to hand the ring to Clark a suspicious Chloe knocks it from his grasp realising it is not the real wedding ring and a fight breaks out between the two future DC Comics stalwarts. They roll around on the floor a while and knock over a font containing black water.  At this point my 3 year old informed me that they were “wrestling in dog poo” – whatever it is it is enough to break the spell of Granny Goodness and unite the two heroes once again.  As episode 1 draws to a close Apokolips is finally approaching Earth’s atmosphere – will it all be too much for the man that will become the Man of Steel?  Is the suspense killing you?

Fast forward a week and we open with Lionel Luthor revealing himself as the man behind Tess Luthor’s abduction.  Old Lionel has let himself go since we last saw him, and now looks like a cross between Charles Manson and Michael Rosen.  As Tess tries to make sense of the whole situation pappa Luthor saves her (and us) the time and reveals he has been creating a clone of Lex, and all he needs to finish the job is his daughters heart.  You can imagine how well this goes down with Tess and she somehow manages to shoot daddy dearest before he is able to realise his plan.  As she escapes Darkseid makes his first appearance and commandeers the dying patriarch’s body, using Lionel’s own heart to revive Zombie/Clone Lex while he’s at it.

Cut to later that day and Clark returns to the Luthor mansion rubble in search of Tess and is instead greeted by Lex. Lex explains that Tess is alive and well – she dies about 5 minutes later but not before slipping Lex an amnesia serum – and goes on to give a long speech about how he and Clark are nothing without each other.  They kiss … I may be lying about that part.

Smoochy smoochy.

As we reach the final moments of the 2nd hour Clark returns home to Kent Farm and removes the control piece of the Jor-El construct.  Before communication with his other worldly father can begin, Lionel/Darkseid shuffles into the barn and attacks Clark but is quickly dispatched as if he were nothing. Moments later Clark is in the fortress and is given THE SUIT by both his paternal and adoptive father.  The highlight of the finale so far.  With the power of his new pyjamas future-Supes is able to fly straight into the centre of Apokolips and send it flying back into space … presumably to destroy another planet.  But as long as it’s not Earth, eh?

People cheer.  Destiny is fulfilled. Lex has his memories stolen.  Did I mention that?  Curse that amnesia serum!

To be honest I became bored with the finale more than once but I wonder if this was because I’d lost some of the emotional investment I had in the characters when I was a regular viewer?  Other than the whole boredom thing my only other complaints were Darkseid and Apokolips being treated as a major threat for most of the show and then getting punked out in a matter of seconds – a bit of a let down. That being said the finale of Smallville was a fantastic effort by Warner to satisfy the fans who have stuck with the show for the last decade, especially with the use of the suit which is something they swore would never be seen on screen.  OK, so we never actually see him in full costume for any length of time but it’s still a complete geek-out moment.  For all it’s faults, Smallville at least ties up its loose ends unlike certain other long running tv shows I could mention,  (Damn you (still) JJ Abrams) and there are clear, distinct links to the Superman canon put in place – not that a Superman tv series is likely to materialise.  And what can I say about the epilogue?  Clark and Lois working at the Daily Planet?  Clark dashing out onto the roof of the building and ripping open his shirt to reveal that S? And that music over the end titles?  All perfect.

A crowd pleasing end to a great tv show.  I can’t wait for Deano to buy Seasons 8 and 9 so I can fill in the blanks.  And while you’re at it old chum, buy Season 10, I wouldn’t mind giving the finale another once over.  Ooh, and there’s this t-shirt I wanted as well.  Thanks buddy.

Nice vest, Clark!

]]> http://thehumanscorch.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/smallvillefinale_s10_ep22-part-4/ Sun, 15 May 2011 21:23:53 +0000 thehumanscorch http://thehumanscorch.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/smallvillefinale_s10_ep22-part-4/ (filed under Scorch’s review of Smallville:Finale)

Continued from Part 3

Sequence 8(continued): So we are finally at the Fortress. We are finally at the moment we’ve been waiting ten years to see.

I am the Holy Grail of this show.

TEN YEARS. TO SEE. The first thing out of Jor-El’s mouth is “Your journey has come to an end Kal-El.” Snark sNARK SNARK SNARK. See last week. Clark says his strength is accepting his Kryptonian side. But I thought Lois was his strength. Well maybe that’s his human side. So Jor-El finally tells Kal that he’s proud of him…and that he’s now ready. He hopes to be humbled by Clark’s feats, and that Clark alone possesses the qualities needed to push the darkness back from the Earth. And guess what pops up…? The costume. Even though we had two unbelievable dick moves up to this point, I still had hope, and the sight of the costume, at last, AT LAST, had me having multiple fanboy geekgasms. Jor-El also does a very noble thing, and asks Clark to remember that it was the influence of the Kents that made him who he is. His soul comes from them. Right. frigging. on. And then….a breathtaking, heart wrenching moment, that should be remembered as a classic for all time.

The Line: “Always hold on to Smallville.”

The Gesture: Jonathan hands him the costume.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THAT WAS FREAKIN’ INSANE!!!! *brain explodes*

And then….Clark crouches down, powers up for flight, and IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!! IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! IT’S FREAKING FINALLY HERE!!!!! Clark lifts off….

and changes in midflight. We never really see a full body shot of him, just really quick cuts of his back and the cape. Then we get a quick shot of this:

We get alternating shots of Tom’s face, and the back of the costume, but never a full shot of him in the costume…like they did last week with Kara before she left for the future. It was almost like, blink and you’ll miss it shots. I can feel the stunnery rising up in my spine, but I figure, it’s not over yet…we still have some more super saves to go(desperately holding on to optimism).

Sequence 9: Apokolips is on the way, and Air Force One is feelin’ the funk! Who can save it now? Kate Bosworth knows the answer!

But Clark doesn’t.

Please tell me exactly how:

1) Clark knew that Air Force One was in danger

2) Clark knew where Air Force One was flying at the moment he puts the suit on

3) Clark knew that Lois was in mortal danger.

But anyway. Lois gets tossed around like a rag doll, because duhr, no damn seat belts, but guess who flies to the rescue!!! It’s…..well…they never actually name him, do they. But I’m like, this will be SO COOL….and it’s a long view CGI shot, kinda lame CGI I might add, and again…Tom and Erica press against the window, which was sweet, but we never get a full body shot of Tom in the costume. It’s always close ups, with a CGI cape added in, or long shots. I….I can’t believe it. I’m still really stunned. Lois gets ready to self record and who steps in but….Mr. President! That Lane girl, she sure gets the breaks! (Yes that was a pun by the way) So SuperClark zooms off to face the flaming sphere, and I’m thinking, surely now we’ll get to see him, full shot. We’ll get to see him do whatever he’s gonna do to save the Earth from Darkseid’s Nuclear Planet!But alas…no. All we get is more long shots of Clark, interspersed with close ups, but not even two seconds, two measly seconds of a full frontal shot of Welling in the full on suit. He moves the planet, we don’t see how, I guess his powers got a MEGA boost level, the Omega symbols burn out of the people’s foreheads, and we see Oliver and the crowd react. And….that’s it. Fade back to the comic that Chloe was reading.

Um.

Dick Move Number Three: They cheated us of full on shots of Welling. I can’t even being to wrap my mind around why this would happen. We’ve gotten full on shots of Kara, Green Arrow, Cyborg, Aquaman, Bart/Impulse, Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Star Girl, Martian Manhunter, Sandman….and yet the one man, the main man, the man who the show is about, the man we’ve waited ten years to see, the man that finally passed all of his stupid tests so he could be who he always was in the first place….and we get long shots, close ups, CGI, and quick cut glimpses??? All it would’ve taken to satisfy fans the world over was just a few seconds. But. Nope. We are to be robbed of what we have waited ten long years to see and have to aGAIN settle for what we got. Now, I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t at least somewhat enjoy what we did see….but….why wouldn’t they give us the full deal? What purpose did it serve by not doing so? This is just like bad sex from someone who’s talked about how they’re going to do you so good for a long time…you just wanna say…”That’s it?”

Na na na na boo boo. Never happened.

The thing that makes this so ugly, and makes it impossible for me to look past…is that they HAD to KNOW. I mean, we got better shots of Tom in the suit from posters and fan art than we did from this show. They had to know what so many of the fans wanted…but we get an aaaalmost-but-not-quite-ha-ha-fooled-you-again ending. And in case anyone wants to argue with me on this, it’s the full on shot of Kara last week, coupled with ten years of teasing about flight and the suit, as well as all the Comic Con conventions where we asked them, year after year, “Is this the year?” that makes any counter argument a moot point in my eyes. So you can understand the source of my ire. I will never again allow this production team, maybe even any other TV show, to string me along like this. Never. This was just a dick move, that could’ve been easily fixed. And for whatever reason, they chose not to. No one even said his name except Chloe. “And that was the day the boy turned into Superman.” *sigh* The John Williams music comes up at that point, and that always makes everything better. I guess there a wink to that child being either Connor or Roy…he wakes up quickly with the idea of adventures in his head, and then there’s a show of the quiver with red and yellow arrows. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Mia?

I didn’t count Chloe’s ending as a complete dick move, and I know that some did…in all honestly, I’m just glad that they didn’t kill her. I gave up on Smallville lining up exactly with the mythos anyway, so, who knows if that’s her kid, or if she’s babysitting for Oliver and Dinah? At least we know she lives on in the future, because she calls Lois, as once again, she and Clark are trying to get married. What doesn’t make sense tho, is Garth and the Legion’s statement that they never heard of her…she’s a hero trainer, she knows who Bruce is, which means that Bruce would learn e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g about her that there is to know, and have records somewhere. So they do a complete reversal here…Saturn Girl says that Lana is remembered for a lot more than being Clark’s girlfriend, but we never get to see it. Chloe wasn’t remembered at all, yet she’ s right in the thick of things, knows about Wonder Woman and Batman before Clark does, has donned the Fate Helmet, helped out with the launching of both WatchTower and the JLA Satellite, is known by J’onn and members of both the JLA and the JSA, and at least at one point was MARRIED TO GREEN ARROW. Okay Smallville writers, you don’t give a damn about any type of continuity, we get it.

So the big day is on again, but guess who shows up looking like the just walked off the set of Newsboys? It’s Jimmy Olsen, the real Jimmy Olsen, but once again played by Aaron Ashmore, whom most fans love in the role, I certainly do. It’s funny, because he’s the spitting image of his deceased older brother, Henry Jimmy, Chloe’s first husband; one of Smallville’s worst story decisions ever. Also ironic because Aaron actually is a twin in real life(his brother plays Iceman in the X-Men movies and guest starred on VilleVille). We also hear Perry, but we don’t see him, but Michael McKean, who played him(and in real life is married to Annette O’Toole), confirmed on Twitter that he did indeed do that voice over, so kudos to at least getting his voice in the mix. Erica, Aaron, and Michael do a fantastic job as these three, and since I covered the credits at the beginning with my hand, I was actually surprised by the cameo. Lex, of course, has been elected President, but this is a Lex that has zero memory of all the stuff that we know happened. Ugh.

So it’s the big day, again, for Clark and Lois…Lois didn’t get a mindwipe. So, they’re still a couple, but not yet married. They’re off to do so…but there’s a bomb in an elevator uptown! It’s a job for Superman! Cue that Williams music, and Clark is off to the roof…last chance. But no…he runs at the camera, rips open his shirt…and that’s all we see as the end credits roll. 

They can say all they want to that this wasn’t about Superman, but about Clark’s journey, but after all that they did show, it’s not an unreasonable expectation to expect to see the man himself. But oh well. Read my post Finale addendum here.

I don’t want to end my review on a negative note, I’ve been very clear about my frustrations and my plans for the future, so what I will say is that the best part of this experience for me has been the friends that I’ve met along the way. The old gang from the Smallville IMDB board, my friends on Twitter…they’ve just been awesome. It’s been a long journey, and long journeys are always better when you meet and make good friends. So cheers and kudos and a hearty thank you, to all of my buds.

So long, Smallville.

by Paul Cornell (writer), Marco Rudy & Ed Benes (art), Val Staples & Jason Wright (colors), and John J. Hill (letters)

The Story: A young Lex Luthor finds himself the unwilling “employee” of Darkseid and, in the back-up, the disciple of Ra’s Al-Ghul.

What’s Good: First things first: this issue is $4.99, but it’s a big, quality package that ultimately earns that price tag.  That being said, this isn’t just a double-sized issue of Paul Cornell’s Action Comics.  It has Lex Luthor, sure, but this is something different, something that allows for Cornell to show his range as a writer.

Cornell does a fantastic and very subtly nuanced job of writing the young Lex Luthor.  It is most definitely Lex, but it’s a Lex that’s more brash, fearless, and arrogant.  He’s like the first LP of your favourite band: more raw with both his flaws and strengths more readily apparent.  Sure he’s brave to the point of lunacy, but he also has a near pathological hatred of being dismissed – his inferiority complex is never clearer.  All told, young Lex makes for a compelling protagonist.

The main feature is all kinds of kooky, having a tone not unlike the old, sci-fi/cosmic adventures of the past.  It’s a kind of pure, wacky sci-fi that makes for a distinctly different read.  Helping this along is Cornell’s Darkseid, which is all kinds of awesome.  Cornell clearly has the time of his life writing the character, who is a classically bombastic “muhuhahaha” villain.  This makes for a fantastic adversary for Lex, one who clearly functions at a different level.

The generally fun artwork of Marco Rudy is a perfect fit for this story, playing up the goofy retro tone while drawing one hell of an Apokolips.  His work is a sort of noir acid trip and it ends up being quite a bit of fun.

The Ra’s Al-Ghul story is also fairly strong, though a very big change of pace.  It’s a narrated story without dialogue, but the narration is done in a poetic voice that shows off Cornell’s chops.  It’s a clever take on the old Adam and Eve story, but in a demented turn, God is the vengeful, mass-murdering Ra’s Al-Ghul.  The end result is a story that is both epic and twisted and certainly very fun.

What’s Not So Good: The only thing that bugged me a bit were some of Marco Rudy’s layouts, which were at times a little confusing or unnatural.  A lot of the time, this is due to the left and right page looking as though they’re meant to be treated as one page, even though they’re not.

Some of Rudy’s action scenes are similarly hard-going, again partially due to the layouts.  Things are a bit hard to follow or overly close up.

Conclusion: The best DC annual that I’ve read in some time.  I wish DC would do this more often for the Annuals: use them as an excuse for the title’s usual creative team to do something different instead of calling up some B or C list creative team to do something underwhelming and unrelated.

Grade: B+

-Alex Evans

The plot also introduces a number of my old favorites. My never ending crush on the Giffen era Justice League loves to see characters like Mr. Miracle and Big Barda brought back into the fold (see also Batman: the Brave and the Bold for your Ted Kord Blue Beetle and Booster Gold fixes). The fantastically campy Fighting Female Furies turn up as the main plot device for the film, as Darkseid looks for a replacement to captain them after Granny’s most hopeful student proves not up to the task.

Where he turns for that is a reinvented, once again, Supergirl. Her crash to Earth, her misunderstood reception (a comic book classic trope) and her subsequent shipping off for training are all handled quite admirably. I enjoyed the film up to this point, when it introduced its sole sticking point for me: Doomsday. And not just Doomsday but dozens of Doomsdays, all some kind of clone. One of them beat Superman into a coma; now Batman can take out its clones with whatever is in his utility belt? I think this devalues the threat just a smidge. The only reason that it didn’t affect the film that much for me is that I think Doomsday is the hallmark of just how bad 1990s comics were in terms of desperate attention grabs, the Death of Superman sparking a host of “controversial” and increasingly ridiculous stories involving the fall of the DC heroes. Aquaman got his hand eaten by piranha for God’s sakes. It was a bad time to be a fan, so you can clog a toilet with Doomsdays for all I care.

90s rant aside, this leads to one of the greatest “haunted house” rides DC has to offer: a trip to Apokolips. This is portrayed as the most frightening, hopeless place in the universe and this films pulls it off quite well. This leads to another of the films best moments, too, when Batman and Darkseid face off in a test of who is simply the biggest bastard. *Spoiler Alert* This time it’s Batman. From here, though the movie should have ended, there is one plot extension that has a decent twist and salvages the double ending from derailing the movie. All in, the film was a very enjoyable entry into DC’s animated collection. The characters are all handled logically, the film keeps a sense of fun in its quick pace and it has a lot of callbacks for longtime fans. Now if only Netflix carried those shorts in their versions… 3 ½ stars

This year brought Clark into the role of protector and guardian over Metropolis. He led the fractured Justice League and Justice Society members into a cohesive team of superheroes, developed a rewarding romance with Lois, repaired his friendships with Chloe and Oliver and sometimes even worked as a reporter! A sleek season with buckets of action, breathtaking special effects and the most progressive character development the show has ever demonstrated, Season 9 proved Smallville to be the show we always knew it could be. Was it perfect? Uhm, no. Zod’s marble-mouthed machinations and the rest of the bland and interchangeable Kandorians grew seriously tedious over the span of 21 episodes. I’m looking forward to a Season 10 with Checkmate and potentially Darkseid as foes to Clark (more on that at the end), because I didn’t think Callum Blue’s Zod stepped up to the Arch Nemesis plate until far too late in the season. (Although he eventually did, to be sure.)

That said, I found Season 9 to be one of the most rewarding and profound seasons Smallville has ever had. And unlike the incredibly disappointing end to an otherwise outstanding Season 8, S9′s last few episodes were some of the strongest of the entire show. So let’s get to it!

9.01 “Savior” Airdate: 9.25.09 Writers: exec producers Brian Peterson and Kelly Souders Director: Kevin Fair Episode Grade: A-

Clark has disappeared from Metropolis in order to finally receive his training from Jor-El at the Fortress of Solitude. Chloe has buried herself in her work at Watchtower (holla!) with funding from Dr. Emil Hamilton, distracting herself from her grief for Jimmy after his death at Davis Bloome‘s hands in the S8 finale. Oliver’s also dealing with Jimmy-related issues, drinking too much, participating in a fight club and acting generally non-superheroic. Clark splits on Jor-El AGAIN in order to resolve his human feelings for Lois, who has straight up been in the future after her ill-advised fiddling with the Legion ring in the S8 finale. Clark decides to stay in Metropolis and continue his protection of the people under the mantle of The Blur. Lois is mysteriously zapped back into the present with a hot Kandorian lady-assassin on her tail. The assassin and Clark tussle without Lois’s knowledge, and he wins and zips away after leaving the El symbol so that Lois would know she was saved by The Blur.

Lois meets John Corben, a new journalist at The Daily Planet, and the typical tough-gal flirting ensues. Corben is played rather attractively by Brian Austin Green. Chloe asks Clark to use the Legion ring to resurrect Jimmy; Clark declines and Chloe pouts. Tess is ensconced in a tawdry liaison with Major Zod and all his Kryptonian minions, whom she brought to Earth using that thingy from S8 because she is highly stupid. None of the Kryptonians has any powers under the yellow sun and they blame Tess for it. Clark discovers it is his destiny to save the earth from a dismal future witnessed (and promptly forgotten) by Lois during her time travel: a future where Zod and the Kryptonians rule, Chloe’s dead and the humans are slaves. Bummer.

9.02 “Metallo” Airdate: 10.2.09 Writers: Don Whitehead and Holly Henderson Director: Mairzee Almas Episode Grade: B+

John Corben, Clark and Lois are all working at The Daily Planet. Corben hates The Blur because his sister was brutally murdered by someone The Blur saved. Corben gets smithereened by a truck after hilariously chasing down a picture of his sister, and the Kryptonians give him a Kryptonite Iron Man-style ticker to keep him alive (experimenting on humans in order to restore their own powers). Now reinvented as hot, hot, shirtless Metallo, Corben makes it his mission to kill The Blur. Understanding that Lois is involved with The Blur after he hears one of their covert conversations, Corben kidnaps her and attempts to kill her. With help from a still-frosty Chloe, Clark gets there in the nick of time and the usual shadowy conversation so Lois won’t know it’s Clark takes place.

Clark molts some iron onto Metallo’s chest and his heart is sorta accidentally ripped out, but Tess hints that he will be revived for more vague experimental purposes. Tess has been busy tracking down giant Kryptonian crop circles all over the world, including the sign of El. Chloe mostly just pouts.

9.03 “Rabid” Airdate: 10.9.09 Writer: Jordan Hawley Director: Mike Rohl Episode Grade: B-

Tess is acting all crazy-like, so she goes to a very handsome doctor who informs her that she’s totes virused. Clark, using some heretofore unacknowledged surreptitious skills, yoinks a blood sample from Tess, which Chloe and Dr. Emil reveal to be ZOMBIFIED! Yep, Smallville decided they needed a zombie episode for some reason. So the virus is rapidly coursing through Metropolis and Lois gets bitten and Clark charges Oliver with the task of keeping her awake, as the virus can only metastasize if she’s asleep or something. Oliver is still the worst superhero ever, so he totally gets trashed and tunes out and starts talking to a wall about how he still loves Lois; meanwhile she passes out and wakes up zombie.

Emil and Chloe discover that the virus is Kryptonian (uhm, duh), so Clark’s blood is used as a vaccine to cure the city. Much as his blood has been used as a vaccine to cure many, many things in the past. They really like this deus ex machina, don’t they? Anyhoo, Tess and Lois are saved, Zod discovers that one of his minions (namely, Tess’s Dr. Handsome) spread the virus without Zod’s permission and Dr. Handsome gets offed, to my great sadness. Zod also learns through the vaccine that there is a powerful Kryptonian already on Earth, and he wants to ask homeboy how he got those powers. Fortunately for Clark, Zod’s a little out of the loop and thinks it’s his old frenemy Jor-El rather than El the Younger, Kal.

9.04 “Echo” Airdate: 10.16.09 Writer: Bryan Q. Miller Director: Wayne Rose Episode Grade: B

Toyman‘s back, baby! Chris Gauthier’s Winslow Schott has returned, and he’s pissed that Oliver framed him for Lex’s murder in S8. So he plans an elaborate scheme, as is his wont, to bomb the shit out of Ollie during a rich folks banquet. Fortunately, Jor-El’s training this week includes giving Clark the power to read thoughts, so he knows something bomby’s afoot. Oliver’s still wallowing and plans to allow himself to get bombed, but Clark saves the day anyway.

Clark and Lois are supposed to go on a date (to a monster truck rally, natch), but Clark has to blow it because of the whole day-saving thing. It’s just like Season 1 up in here! Except unlike Lana, Lois is totally cool with being stood up, which makes her perfect for Clark. They make a rain check out of it, Clark’s mindreading days are over, Ollie’s still a drunken baby and Tess gives Toyman a special cell where he can tinker with Metallo’s Kryptonite heart.

9.05 “Roulette” Airdate: 10.23.09 Writer: Genevieve Sparling Director: Kevin Fair Episode Grade: C

Oof. I’m not gonna lie to you guys. This episode was not awesome. So Wallower Oliver is still, you know, wallowing, feeling all guilty for being such a shit (with the Lex murdering and the darkness and the whatnot). Even though I kinda thought the whole bomb scare episode was supposed to fix that! But it straight didn’t. So anyhoo, he’s gambling a miniscule portion of his billions away when sexy lady Victoria (Roulette) shows up to pop a random pill in his mouth, which he happily takes. He wakes up in the middle of The Game, or Saw, or that other Smallville episode that’s like Saw. A bunch of crazy shit happens that would take forever to explain so I won’t, because it turns out it’s all fake and Chloe just orchestrated the highly dangerous scenario in order to get Oliver to quit his whingeing and start being a hero again. And it works! Ollie’s back to his hot heroic self, Oliver and Chloe are besties again, Lois’s interfering ass didn’t die like she totally could have, and Clark discovers that Lois’s hot lady would-be assassin from the premiere is still alive. Clark and Chloe also discover the Kryptonian symbols all over the world. Chloe is mightily smug through it all, even though she totally almost got Lois killed.

9.06 “Crossfire” Airdate: 10.30.09 Writer: Holly Henderson and Don Whitehead Director: Mike Rohl Episode Grade: A-

Clark and Lois try their hats at morning television since print journalism is dead. (Sorry, Daddy.) Good Morning, Metropolis sets them up on blind dates and they both get super jealous. Oliver finangles his way as Lois’s date and confesses that he’s still in love with her. Lois lets him down easily but firmly, saying she wants to give this thing with Clark a shot. At first Clark wants to step aside because Oliver’s his friend, but Chloe smacks some sense into him and he heads straight to the Planet to lay a long-delayed big one on Lois. It’s pretty hot. Also they lose the TV show gig, which is good, because they were terrible at it.

Oliver has smaller fish to fry in Mia/Speedy, the prostitute/fight clubber with superhero abilities. He saves her from her asshole pimp (after some tussling and a well-timed Clark rescue) and takes her on as a disciple. Chloe, meanwhile, busies herself with trying to break through Tess’s firewalls, and encounters another computer genius named Stuart, working for Tess. Tess meanwhile is working with Zod to create a giant solar tower for vaguely nefarious reasons (to get the Kandorians’ powers back).

 Chloe tries to woo Stuart away from LuthorCorp, to seeming success. Zod instructs one of his soldiers to torture information about Jor-El out of Tess and then kill her, but then Zod opens a package to discover the soldier’s bloodstained dog tags and a cheerful Tess waving at him from across the street. Because Tess is STONE COLD AWESOME.

9.07 “Kandor” Airdate: 11.6.09 Writers: Turi Meyer and Al Septien Director: Jeannot Szwarc Episode Grade: A

Yes! Okay, we have a lot of ground to cover quickly. So it turns out the thingy that Tess used to zap the Kandorians to Earth was Jor-El’s invention, a vessel for Kryptonian knowledge and the DNA of a few Kryptonian VIPs, created to preserve their culture. After making it, Jor-El (the gorgeous Julian Sands) realized it was a super bad idea, so he refused to include his own DNA after Zod and Co. did so. We learn this during a BAD-ASS flashback sequence taking place on motherlovin’ Krypton!

So Jor-El’s refusal to insert his DNA in the thingy (dirty!) is considered treason and he goes in front of the scary, big-headed ruling council and they sentence him to death! Zod intervenes and pleads on Jor-El’s behalf, because they’re BFFs, and the ruling council agrees to let Jor-El live–as long as he includes his DNA. Jor-El does so, and then also zaps the little round thingy with a long blue thingy to make it so the Kryptonians won’t have powers when they’re resurrected on Earth and turn into big bullies. The thingies look totally inappropriate together, by the by.

Okay so then Zod asks Jor-El to include Zod’s dead son’s DNA in the thingy so he can be cloned with everyone else. Jor-El refuses because Clark didn’t get that sanctimonious bossiness from nowhere. Zod gets awfully pissed.

So back nowadays, the Justice Leaguers discover that Jor-El is on Earth when Clark and Oliver stumble on the El symbol scorched into the ground in Turkey. While they’re traveling, Jor-El finds his way to the Kent farm and Chloe brings him up to speed on everything, and then Chloe and Jor-El stupidly plan-without-a-plan to convince Zod that Jor-El is The Blur. Zod susses out the non-plan in about a second, mortally wounds Jor-El and then lets him lead Zod back to Clark. Jor-El dies in Clark’s arms touchingly (after asking him to befriend and save Zod, siiiigh), then Clark retardedly eye-burns a tombstone in full view of Zod, who realizes he’s The Blur. A lot of stupid decisions were made in this fantastic episode. OMG! Krypton!

9.08 “Idol” Airdate: 11.13.09 Writer: Anne Cofell Saunders Director: Glen Winter Episode Grade: C+

I really don’t remember this episode very well, frankly. Yay? The annoying Wonder Twins are swimfanning all over The Blur and they think it’s a good idea to stage inept rescues and leave The Blur’s symbol, giving him credit for all their stupid mistakes. Lois is in therapy dealing with her conflicting feelings for Clark and The Blur, and then Clark’s voice-masker fritzes out while he’s on the phone with Lois as The Blur and she recognizes his voice and wigs.

An evil Metropolis DA insists The Blur unmask himself after the Twins do some more dumb shit and then he kidnaps Lois for some reason (I guess cause he’s evil), and Chloe convinces the Wonder Twins to stop “helping” The Blur except for this one last time when they rescue Lois. Then Chloe calls Lois as The Blur while Lois is standing next to Clark and Lois goes back to being clueless.

Clark tells Lois he does have one secret—he’s nearsighted. He puts on the iconic glasses and Lois makes out with him very cutely. Then she passes out and has some more of those seizure-inducing memories from her trip to the future.

9.09 “Pandora” Airdate: 11.20.09 Writer: Andrew Landis and Julia Swift Director: Morgan Beggs Episode Grade: A-

Lois’s seizure from last week results in her being taken to the hospital and then promptly kidnapped by Tess and Stuart, who use Kryptotech to read her mind, which is suppressing the knowledge of what happened when she was zapped to the future by the Legion ring in the S8 finale: namely, that in one year, the Kandorians will have regained their powers, thanks to Tess and Zod’s solar tower that turned the yellow sun red. The Kandorians have taken over the planet and humans live in sad, dirty little Hoovervilles.

Clark zips into the lab to save Lois but is waylaid by the Kryptonite in the room, and he somehow sees inside Lois’s mind as Tess does, just in time to witness his entrance into the story. In one year, Clark has abandoned the other Justice Leaguers to try and fight Zod on his own (typical). Chloe is in charge of a rebel human outfit including Oliver, and they are working to shut down the solar tower in order to turn the sun yellow again. Clark and Lois make luuuuurve the night before the big fight, and then Chloe dies by the hand of the hot Kandorian assassin, Zod kills Clark and Oliver is left to fight alone.

Lois uses the Legion ring to go back in time and tell Clark to prevent this bleak future, but of course she forgets everything and never tells him. Luckily he was somehow able to read her mind in Tess’s Kryptolab. Also, Tess shoots Stuart in the face when he fails to perform his job to her satisfaction. Tess would be the worst boss!

After witnessing his death at Zod’s hands in the one-year-future, Clark wakes up and decides he needs to befriend Zod. You know, rather than straight kill him before he gets his powers back, as ANYONE ELSE WOULD. Emil wipes Lois’s mind clean of the pesky future memories, Lois and Clark start officially dating and Clark goes to the Kandorians to tell them how much he wants to be in a super fun Kryptonian clique together. Gah!

9.10 “Disciple” Airdate: 1.29.10 Writer: Jordan Hawley Director: Mairzee Almas Episode Grade: B

Someone in a leather hooded suit is shooting people with arrows, and naturally everyone assumes it’s the Green Arrow. First Lois is wounded through the shoulder and ends up back in the hospital (drink!). Then Chloe gets nicked, then Mia/Speedy is abducted. Clark and Lois worry that Oliver has flown into a jealous rage at their recent Official Couple Status. But no–it’s the Dark Archer!

Who? you might rightly ask. Apparently Vordigan was Oliver’s mentor and trainer in Green Arrow’s early days (after his self-taught years on the island, one presumes). Turns out Vordigan taught Oliver the all-important lesson of No Lovers (Lois), No Allies (Chloe), No Disciples (Mia). Which is confusing, as Oliver himself was Vordigan’s disciple. So Vordigan’s pissed that Ollie’s gone off-book and he lures him via Mia to a giant shrubbery labyrinth. He orders Oliver to kill him because he’s tired of being so crazy old(he’s like 40! *audible gasp*), but Oliver just injures him and calls the cops. Also Clark’s pissed that Zod’s been visiting Lois in the hospital for uncertain, but certainly creepy, reasons.

9.11 “Absolute Justice” Airdate: 2.5.10 Writer: DC comic writer and legend Geoff Johns! Part One Director: Tom Welling (yay!) Part Two Director: Glen Winter Episode Grade: A+

Yay! Geoff Johns wrote a 2-hour movie event for Smallville introducing the Justice Society of America! I wrote about it here and here. Someone is murdering former superheroes such as The Star-Spangled Kid and Sandman. Chloe’s on the case! She, Clark, and Oliver track down the remaining members of a disbanded society: Hawkman, Stargirl (Geoff Johns’ own comic creation!) and Dr. Fate. John Jones/Martian Manhunter (Phil Morris is back, baby!!) also returns to pitch in and solve the case of the superhero killer. The newbies discover that the oldies disbanded the JSA after they were framed and disgraced as capes, Watchmen-style.

Hawkman and Oliver hate each other on sight and are always bickering cutely. Dr. Fate lays some serious fate bombs on Clark and Chloe, telling Clark that he will lead the heroes as Hawkman once led the JSA, that Clark’s destiny is to save the world and that Lex is still alive. Clark is all “whaaa?” Dr. Fate tells Chloe that her fate will be similar to his own, which could mean that she will go crazy, die, or just be a very useful tool to a superhero league (as she already is).

Turns out the villain is the little emo jackhole Icicle and he’s working for the far more treacherous and intimidating Amanda Waller (Pam Grier!) and Checkmate as part of the Suicide Squad, whom Lois is kept busy investigating for the duration of this episode. Waller reveals herself to be somehow involved with Tess, as well. (Who isn’t?) She refers to Tess as “Agent Mercer” which is certainly intriguing! 

So the JSA-ers and the JLA-ers all combine to overtake Icicle, Stargirl gives Chloe some lovely advice about turning Watchtower (holla!) into a real home for the heroes, and Amanda Waller reclaims Icicle from jail, shoots him in the head and name-drops Apokolips.  It’s all very! exciting!

9.12 “Warrior” Airdate: 2.12.10 Writer: Bryan Q. Miller Director: Allison Mack (yay!) Episode Grade: A-

ComicCon has come to Metropolis! Except it’s called WonderCon, but it’s the same thing and it allows for tons of hilarious easter eggs and costumes. Lois, as a Storm Trooper, is there with Clark when they run into Zatanna! Lois is understandably threatened by the fishnet-wearing trollop mad hitting on her boyfriend, so she goes home and changes into a much sexier Wonder Woman costume, after an awesome visual joke of Lois’s crazy costumes from past episodes.

Anyway, Zatanna is there to track down an old Warrior Angel comic book that her father once cursed after he was stiffed on some royalties or something. Too late! An adorable little thief already yoinked it and magically became a hot older guy with superpowers! He saves Chloe from something or other and she starts making some serious googly eyes at him.

He takes her flying with him and it’s all very sweet and romantic until Clark and Zatanna inform Chloe that her latest boytoy is, like, seriously a boy. Who still plays with toys. Chloe bums out and then advises the kid to allow Zatanna to magic him back into his normal life, and then the curse part of the curse kicks in. He turns into….DEVILICUS!

He tries to kill poor Chloe who just cannot get a break in the love department these days, but Clark saves her and Zatanna zaps the kid back into his normal kid status. Lois gets over her jealousy about Zatanna and she and Clark are extra cute. And Oliver finds himself comforting Chloe with his sexy chiseled hero arms, and Marla squees her heart out because she’s been rooting for a Chloe/Oliver romance since S5!!

9.13 “Persuasion” Airdate: 2.19.10 Writer: Anne Cofell Saunders Director: Christopher Petry Episode Grade: B+

Aww, it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without a totally implausible Smallville episode! Clark and Lois are on a date when some jackass blows a bunch of magic dust in Clark’s face for no apparent reason. For some other no apparent reason, this gives Clark the ability (drink!) to persuade people to do his bidding. Except it’s not really his bidding, just the most literal version of whatever he happens to say or think at the moment, thus radically inconvenient.

Clark makes the mistake of telling Lois he wishes they had a more traditional relationship (mostly to keep her from investigating Tess and Zod’s solar tower), and Lois turns into Donna Reed, trying on wedding dresses, baking pies, weeping over Clark’s high school letter jacket and essentially just acting in the most hilarious way possible. Erica Durance is so damned funny!

Clark somehow inadvertently convinces Chloe to hate Lois, and she bitches her out and then tries to blow up the Planet, or something. Clark convinces Zod to tell him the truth about Jor-El’s death, and Zod tells him Tess killed him (which isn’t true, but Zod didn’t know it). So Clark somehow persuades HIMSELF to kill Tess, but Chloe manages to stop him with a well-timed piece of Kryptonite. Then it turns out that the hot Kandorian assassin (to whom I should really give a name by now–Alia–but she’s about to die so what’s the point?) actually killed Jor-El, so Zod kills her. And Clark finally gets some sense and eye-splodes the solar towers, thinking that will prevent the scary red sun future. Well, it’s a step. Also KILLING ZOD might prevent it, too. Just a hunch.

The plot was really dumb for this episode but it was a worthy frame for some very humorous acting on Durance’s part, so I liked it!

 9.14 “Conspiracy” Airdate: 2.26.10 Writers: Al Septien and Turi Meyer Director: Turi Meyer Episode Grade: A-

Man, it does not pay to be Clark’s girlfriend on this show, does it? Lois gets kidnapped again, this time by a conspiracy theorist who wants to convince her there are aliens on the planet so she’ll write an article about it. Lois isn’t convinced even though this guy has some compelling evidence–the Kandorians have been experimenting on him (much like on John Corben), and so he’s kidnapped a bunch of Kandorians (including Vala, the sister of Zod’s wife Faora who’s a lot nicer now than she was last season) to torture them and find out their secrets. Clark and Zod whoosh into the guy’s lab to save Lois and Vala respectively, and Zod gets shot and dies. Instead of letting him stay dead and thus SOLVING ALL OF HIS PROBLEMS, Clark drips some of his own healing blood into Zod’s wound and saves his life (Lois sees none of this). Also they take care of the bad guy somehow; I forget how.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Oliver are still being incredibly gorgeous, snarky and blonde together. Ollie discovers that Chloe’s been siphoning off some of his billions and he confronts her. Chloe is unapologetic and shows Oliver what she’s spent the funds on: a stock of Kryptonite weapons intended to fight the Kandorians if the grim future Lois saw is to come to pass. Oliver agrees, and they also agree not to tell Clark, seeing as how a Kryptonite weapon would totally kill his ass, so he’s kinda touchy about it. Plus as he just proved, he is INCAPABLE OF KILLING BAD GUYS. Or even just letting them die without interfering.

Clark and Zod have a friendaissance on the roof of the Daily Planet and Zod speaks his earnest gratitude for Clark’s saving his life. But then Clark leaves and Zod up-up-and-aways, having apparently regained his powers with Clark’s blood and is now able to fly, even though that blood has been inside of Clark for 23 years and he still can’t fly.

 9.15 “Escape” Airdate: 4.2.10 Writer: Genevieve Sparling Director: Kevin Fair Episode Grade: A

Such a fun episode! Everyone gets nookie! Clark takes Lois on a vacation to a small bed & breakfast outside the city after he found a pamphlet for the joint at her apartment. There, they run into Chloe and Oliver, discovering their relationship for the first time in a hella awkward scenario. Turns out, it was Chloe‘s B&B pamphlet and Clark just assumed it was Lois’s because he thinks of Chloe as a dried up old maid who never takes sexy vacations. Lois is thrilled for Oliver and Chloe, as she should be. Clark is concerned Oliver will hurt Chloe, as he probably should be, too.

Lois is typically klutzy and accidentally releases the spirit of the Silver Banshee in a convoluted manner. The Silver Banshee first possesses Chloe who then gets stark naked and walks in the shower, trying to seduce Clark. SO AWKWARD AND HOT AND NAKED.

Clark is aghast, Lois walks in on the two and is further aghast, and she runs into the woods and gets possessed by the Banshee in turn, releasing Chloe. Then Lois tries to seduce and kill Oliver, and it’s all very Smallville meets Three’s Company. Chloe solves everything eventually, as she tends to do, and Clark and Lois are back to being cute, and Chloe and Oliver have an incredibly mature conversation about her former feelings for Clark, his former feelings for Lois, and their budding romance. It’s really sweet and charming.

On the far less sweet and charming end of the spectrum, Zod uses his newfound powers to beat the shit out of Tess, and then she zaps him with Kryptonite, and then they have sex and I VOMIT REPEATEDLY. Oh, and Clark reveals to Chloe that Jor-El has trained him to have sex with a mortal without blowing a load like a shotgun right through her back. Chloe doesn’t venture to exclaim “OVERSHARE!” so I will do it for her. Finally, Zod uses a voice modifier to call Lois as The Blur and ask her to dig up dirt on Tess.

 9.16 “Checkmate” Airdate: 4.9.10 Writer: John Chisolm Director: Tim Scanlan Episode Grade: A+

One hell of an episode! Genuinely one of the greatest episodes Smallville has ever had. Where to begin with the amazingness? “Agent Mercer,” as Checkmate head Amanda Waller called Tess in “Absolute Justice,” has been re-activated. The ep begins with Tess donning a wig and staging an elaborate and incredible action sequence where she can “get in trouble” so Green Arrow can “save her.” This is a ruse to trap Green Arrow, and she brings him (without discovering Oliver’s identity) to Waller. Tess may be STONE COLD AWESOME, but she didn’t properly secure the detainee and Oliver escapes with a handy lock-pick he keeps somewhere in those green leather tights.

Checkmate is still able to secure their real target; namely, Chloe. Waller is mandatorily ”recruiting” superheroes to build a team against the alien invasion, and she needs Watchtower’s (holla!) intel. Oliver and Tess have another one of their verbal sparring matches and make simultaneous discoveries: Oliver realizes that Tess works for Checkmate and is the person who abducted him, and Tess realizes that Oliver is Green Arrow. Clark scares the shit out of Tess and she tells him everything, including that someone named “Watchtower” is the real target. Clark finds Checkmate’s gorgeous headquarters and confronts Waller as John Jones turns off the power grid, enabling Clark to rescue Chloe in the absolute, hands down coolest sequence in Smallville history. I recommend watching the entire clip, but if you’re short on time, skip forward to the 3min35sec mark. IT IS AMAZING.

Clark and Chloe make up and Clark agrees that it’s best to work with the group instead of going off all half-cocked like he always does. Tess feels serious regret for her role in Checkmate and every other mistake she’s ever made. Oliver isn’t interested, but she tells him she’s going underground to escape from Checkmate. John Jones steals Waller’s alien evidence and wipes her mind of Chloe’s, Clark’s and Oliver’s identities. But he’s also apparently working for someone other than the Justice League; the same person who infiltrates Checkmate’s headquarters and leaves an ominous calling card: the RED QUEEN! (dun dun DUUUUN!)

9.17 “Upgrade” Airdate: 4.16.10 Writers: Andrew Landis and Julia Swift Director: Mike Rohl Episode Grade: B+

Metallo’s back! Tess is working on giving him a red Kryptonite heart to spiff him up after his previous breakdown. Lois is still following orders from Zod disguising his voice as The Blur, and she finds her way to the lab where Tess is experimenting on John Corben. She gets knocked around and Corben saves the day. Clark finds his way there because he thinks Lois is keeping something from him (GLASS HOUSES, DOUBLE IDENTITY DUDE), and he inhales some of the red K and turns back into the mean-spirited, inhibitions-free, slightly sexier Clark we all know and love/hate. He finds out about Chloe’s Kryptonite arsenal and kicks her ass; he re-befriends Zod and gets into general superhero hijinks. Including, idiotically, bringing Zod to the Fortress so Zod can know ALL of Clark’s most important secrets and vulnerabilities.

Tess and Chloe reluctantly work together to send Metallo to the Fortress to stop Clark from further ruinous errors, and Metallo manages to zap the red K out of Clark with some green K. Clark apologizes to Chloe for the ass-whoopin’ and she apologizes for keeping the Kryptonite arsenal from him. Tess tells Zod that Clark has been trying to get the regular Kandorians jobs so they can integrate into society, and Zod loses it because he wants his aliens to be MEAN, dammit! So he doses his closest soldiers with his empowered blood so they all regain their powers, as well. John Corben hits on Lois but she gently tells him she’s happy with Clark.

9.18 “Charade” 4.23.10 Writers: Don Whitehead and Holly Henderson Director: exec producer Brian Peterson Episode Grade: B

The Evil DA from “Idol” is back–he was released from prison and Clark and Lois’s new editor, Franklin Stern (the wonderful Blu Mankuma from Tinman) tells them that whichever one gets the story gets to keep his or her job. Lois and Clark are already having issues about secrets and whether or not to say the l-word; the story competition does not help. They each infiltrate the Evil DA’s Welcome Back From Jail party; Clark in a tux (yum); Lois in a bunny suit, jumping out of a cake (naturally).

Clark discovers that Zod has been disguising his voice and speaking to Lois as The Blur, and he tries to warn Lois not to trust the person she’s been speaking to on the phone. Lois thinks he’s just jealous and wants to expose The Blur. They get into a highly conspicuous fight at the DA’s party and their editor sacks them both! Turns out Evil DA is working for Checkmate operative Maxwell Lord (Gil Bellows) who is trying to discover The Blur’s identity.

Lois gets kidnapped AGAIN, but Clark saves the day as per yuuzh. Also Maxwell Lord is picked up by The Red Queen and we see some nice stems and hot red shoes. Maxwell Lord seems disconcerted. Clark calls Lois as The Blur and tells her they must not speak or work together anymore as it’s too dangerous (because she’s been kidnapped 50 times this season alone) and because he can’t risk someone else impersonating him. He tells her they won’t speak again and if someone calls saying he’s The Blur, she should know it’s not. Lois is devastated because she feels that helping The Blur has given her life meaning. Also she’s in love with him. Yep, it’s the iconic love triangle of two between Lois, Clark and Superman!

9.19 “Sacrifice” Airdate: 4.30.10 Writers: Justin Hartley (yay!), Walter Wong and Brian Q. Miller  Director: Kevin Fair Episode Grade: A-

Just as Tess sneaks into Chloe’s Watchtower (holla!) with Chloe there, Amanda Waller and recent Checkmate agent Stuart (now with one eye after Tess shot him in “Pandora”) break into Watchtower’s firewalls. Watchtower goes into emergency shutdown, and Chloe and Tess are stuck inside with rapidly decreasing oxygen. They bond a little over their respective Oliver crushes and eventually manage to escape by seriously damaging Watchtower (boo!). Checkmate is still tracking them through a honing device in Tess’s shoulder that can only be turned off by her death. Chloe takes her to the hospital and Tess allows her to kill her and then revive her with the paddles. Chloe almost doesn’t revive her but then relents. They are then free of Waller and Stuart.

Meanwhile, the no-powers Kandorians are being led by Faora, Zod’s wife whom he now considers a traitor for being nice to Clark and trying to live a normal life on Earth. Oliver is tracking Zod, and Zod returns the favor by branding his Z symbol on Oliver’s sexy, sexy, waxed chest. Hopefully his billions can pay for some elaborate plastic surgery because his poor, pretty chest! Checkmate tries to kidnap Faora but Clark stops them. Zod manages to grab Faora and kills her for her “treason,” even though she has done literally NOTHING this entire season. After killing her, Zod realizes she was pregnant with his child and he regrets it massively. He pins Faora’s death on Clark and the humans, and all of the remaining Kandorians turn against Clark. Zod destroys the Checkmate offices and headquarters and the Kandorians zip off into the sky.

9.20 “Hostage” Airdate: 5.7.10 Writers: Jordan Hawley and Anne Cofell Saunders Director: Glen Winter Episode Grade: A-

Yes! Mama Kent (Annette O’Toole) is back for a visit, and she’s brought her new boyfriend, Perry White (Michael McKean, O’Toole’s real-life husband). Clark is needless to say surprised that his old drunken tormentor/friend is now dating his mom, but he’s got bigger fish to fry. He’s stressed about the upcoming alien war and Lois is busy freaking out since they lost their jobs and The Blur no longer requires her help. She’s feeling lost and purposeless and Clark’s distraction causes her to break up with him right before Martha and Perry arrive. They pretend during an awkward family dinner to still be dating AND working together until Lois spills the beans on both counts. She and Perry (iconic twosome!) team up to work on a story about the Red Queen and the Kandorian Book of Rao.

Maxwell Lord is still working for the Red Queen, brainwashing Tess into thinking she’s held hostage in the Luthor mansion with Oliver. Tess shakes off his brainplay, but still leads Lord to the Book of Rao, which was the Red Queen’s goal all along.

Clark and Chloe are working together to find the Kandorians, but with little success since Watchtower’s (holla!) destruction last week in “Sacrifice.” Chloe reveals that she’s got Watchtower back online, but she’s tired of playing Big Sister. Now that she has Ollie (squee!), she wants to live a real life, you know, OUTSIDE of Watchtower. Clark understands, but tells her he needs her for this battle. Chloe cowgirls up and she and Clark realize that the Red Queen is someone who is trying to protect Clark. Namely: Mama Kent! (dun dun DUUUUN!)

Yes, that bad-ass lady with a bad-ass drink named after her has been taking some pretty serious risks in the name of her beloved son! She comes clean with Clark and explains that she wanted to procure the Book of Rao for him so he can defeat the Kandorians. Unfortunately, she’s discovered that the Book will send ALL Kryptonians to a different dimension. Even Clark. hmmm…

Oh and also! Perry speaks to Franklin Stern and gets Clark and Lois their jobs back. Clark seems less than enthused, to Lois’s consternation, but it’s just because he’s so stressed about the upcoming Kandorian war. Lois gets a note from “The Blur” (read: Zod) that tells her it’s time for them to finally meet. She totally ignores the thing about how the real Blur told her not to trust anyone claiming to be him, because she’s just omg! too excited!

 9.21 “Salvation” Airdate: 5.14.10 Writer: Turi Meyer and Al Septien Director: Greg Beeman Episode Grade: A+ 

(I’m too thrilled with this episode to contain my glee to a short summary!)

 The final episode of the season opens with a flashforward to the year 2013. Lois works under publisher Perry White at the Daily Planet, across the desk from mild-mannered Clark Kent. Lex Luthor is running for president and it’s front page news. As it should be, as only 3 years ago everyone assumed he was dead. A plane is about to crash into the building. Lois glances at Clark’s desk where his empty chair is spinning and a pair of nerdy black glasses are haphazardly tossed on the desk. Lois yells for Jimmy Olsen the Younger (sigh) to grab his camera as she rushes to the window, a knowing smile on her face as a blur of red, blue and yellow whooshes across the Daily Planet globe and…Clark wakes up in his barn, back in his civvies. But what’s this? A box from Mama Kent with a note that says “In case you decide to stay.” Clark opens the box and a gorgeous, rousing score plays as the legendary Superman shield is reflected in his baby blues. Mama Kent provides him with his suit! Marla is struck literally speechless for the length of the credits and commercial break due to the intense geeksqueeing that is happening in her brain. 

 Lois heads to Clark’s crow’s nest as the note left by “The Blur” instructed. She is dismayed to find Zod waiting for her. He convinces her that he is The Blur and that Clark is trying to expose him. She doesn’t believe Clark could be involved (heh), but he tells her to use her journalistic instincts to discover the truth for herself.

Clark, Chloe and Oliver are working together to set up JSA/JLA sentries around the world to prepare for the Kandorian war. Clark tells Chloe that the Book of Rao can prevent the war by sending all Kryptonians, including himself, to another dimension. Chloe tells him this may be the only way, although it would break her heart to lose Clark forever. Clark believes his destiny is on earth, to protect humans.

Tess surprises Zod in the Fortress of Solitude. She tells him she is there to atone for her sins; egomaniac Zod assumes she means by giving him the Book of Rao and asking for his forgiveness. Tess knocks the shit out of him with some Kryptonite knuckles (YES!), but stupidly allows Zod to get far enough away that he can regain his powers. He eye-burns her face off. Seriously. It’s messed up.

Clark zips into the Fortress to ask Jor-El what to do; he discovers that Zod has crushed his crystal console, the only means to communicate with Jor-El and to use the Book of Rao to send the Kandorians away. Zod smirks some; Clark babbles on about how even the most evil person can be saved, despite all of his evidence to the contrary. Clark discovers what Zod has done to Tess and whooshes her to the hospital, where she urges him with her near-dying breath to use the Book of Rao at the new console she hid at his crow’s nest to zap the Kryptonians off of earth. She tells him it’s the only way to save the planet and her last chance to redeem herself. All the while, an old lady whose face is hidden by a hood knits in the hall ominously.

The Kandorians are stationed around the world, eye-sploding things and eye-burning Zod’s symbol into significant global monuments like the pyramids, Great Wall of China and Washington Monument. Apparently the government thinks it’s a “hoax” so they’re not getting involved yet. Well, that’s lucky! Clark arrives at Watchtower where Chloe has virtually assembled all of the JSA and JLA (I even see a “flash” of red and yellow in the corner, although Kyle Gallner was probably off doing press for Nightmare on Elm Street.) Clark announces to the crew that he intends to use the Book of Rao to send all Kryptonians, including himself, to a peaceful plane of existence. He informs the remaining superheroes that it is up to them to protect the humans after he has left Earth. The JSA and JLA are distressed but eventually agree, holding their fists to their chests in a touching tribute after Clark’s inspirational speech. Chloe is proud of Clark but runs from the room in tears. Oliver tells Clark he needs to say goodbye to Lois; Clark agrees, but doesn’t want to tell her the truth about himself and then leave her forever.

Lois has taken Zod’s advice and started digging around on Clark. She finds some Blur files and a photo of Zod on Clark’s work computer (super covert, Clark. Not even password-protected?!) and then heads to the Kent farm where she finds Virgil Swann’s journal, including a picture of the Book of Rao. She is devastated by Clark’s betrayal, and when he arrives to tell her how much he cares about her but refuses to admit that he is keeping anything from her, she tells him she has been offered a job at the Kenya desk by Perry White and leaves in tears.

Chloe is wigging out at Watchtower (holla!) because all of her monitors are down and she can’t assist the JSA/JLA. Oliver tells her in THE HOTTEST WAY POSSIBLE that he bought Chloe her own satellite as a present. Man, I’ve gotta get one of those billionaires one day. Chloe geeks out, Oliver heads out to set up the satellite link and they kiss sweetly before he leaves. squee!

Tess is in critical condition at the hospital and the old lady just keeps on knitting. Tess eventually flatlines and the doctor calls her time of death. The old lady waits until the ER workers have left and then enters Tess’s room stealthily.

 Chloe and Oliver are on walkie talkies as she guides him through the satellite station to turn on the link. He does so and she realizes that the motion detectors have picked up several other people in the station ducts with Oliver, quickly closing in on him. He realizes they’ll be able to track Chloe if he stays online with her, so he has to let her go. Oliver cries out, “I love you!” and Chloe urgently returns the sentiment. SQUEEE! His last transmission informs Chloe that the intruders aren’t Kandorian. Checkmate?

Lois has procured the Book of Rao for Zod, but she still has her doubts. They meet on the Metropolis streets and she lies to him that she hid the Book of Rao at the place where she confessed to The Blur that he was the most important person in her life. Zod realizes she’s on to him,  tosses her through a flower stand and zips off. Clark blurs in, saves Lois and whooshes to the shadows before she can see his face. Lois apologizes tearfully for thinking Zod was The Blur and hands the Book of Rao behind her.

Clark reaches out from the shadows, takes the Book, and pulls Lois to him for a long, passionate kiss, zipping off before she can see him. But Lois would know those luscious Kent lips anywhere, and a dazed smile crosses her face as she whispers “Clark!” after him. SQUEE!

Clark meets Zod and the rest of the Kandorians at his crow’s nest. They prepare to fight Clark, and he tells them all that Zod killed Faora when she was pregnant with his unborn child. Zod idiotically whispers to Clark that Faora deserved it and he never wanted to murder his own son, somehow forgetting that all of the Kandorians have superhearing. They turn against Zod and allow Clark to use the Book of Rao to take them all to a peaceful existence somewhere other than Earth. Clark inserts the Book of Rao into the console and one by one, the Kandorians are transported through a beam of yellow light into Someplace That is Else. Zod has other plans, however, unsheathing a blue Kryptonite dagger to temporarily strip him of his powers so the Book of Rao won’t recognize him as a Kryptonian and ship him off.  Clark steps toward Zod, now also powerless, for an utterly EPIC, rain-drenched battle. This fight scene is absolutely stunning and beautifully choreographed.

Zod tells Clark he would rather reign in hell (Earth) than serve in heaven (the other dimension), and that he will rule Earth from a throne. Clark decides to sacrifice himself to save his home and allows Zod to stab him with the blue K dagger. Clark leaps backwards from the building into the rain, taking the blue K with him and allowing Zod to be drawn into the other dimension, thereby defeating both Zod and himself. As Clark falls through the rain into the streets below, rendered powerless by the dagger, the episode ends.

Season 9 Overall Grade:

What a spectacular season, my friends! It started out fairly strong, faltered just a bit mid-season and then finished in an incredible triumph! So what do you think this means for next season? My Season 10 Predictions (most of which are totally cobbled from all over the internet, so don’t give me too much credit here) are as follows.

Season 10 Predictions:

We know that Allison Mack will not be a series regular next year. As we discovered in episode 9.20 “Hostage,” Chloe is tired of living her life through Watchtower (holla!). I believe Chloe will take a far more active role in the Justice League, traveling around the world to assist the superheroes as more than a techie and returning for significant JLA milestones. You know, like sweeps and the finale. Oh and also she and Ollie are gonna get married and have like 10 million beautiful blonde babies OMG squeee!

We also know that Cassidy Freeman will be returning in Season 10. Tom Welling confirmed that the old lady from the finale is Granny Goodness, meaning that Tess will most likely be resurrected next season as a supervillain, recruited by Granny Goodness to work for Darkseid. Remember that in episode 9.16 “Checkmate,” Amanda Waller hints that Apokolips is on the horizon, and obviously Checkmate must return as we haven’t received a resolution since Zod blew up their headquarters. Now THAT will be a worthy adversary. Sorry, CallumBlueAsZod, but your wacky marble-mouthed line delivery and humdrum Kandorian Soldiers of Bore just never did it for me this season.

Speaking of worthy adversaries, it’s clear that Tom Welling wants Michael Rosenbaum to return as Lex for the final season. It’s clear from the “Lex Luthor Runs for President” 2013 headline glimpsed in the finale that the producers want him back, as well. Rosenbaum has stated that he will not return. Can the producers and Welling convince him to return for a finale cameo? I’m sure they’ll throw lots of money at him, and he and Welling are friends. However, Rosenbaum may be busy working on his Sy Fy show, which sounds awesome, by the way. I’m sure the writers can work around it, managing to have Lex “return” to Smallville without inconveniencing Rosenbaum, but it would be great to have the real thing back, just for one final episode—probably with amnesia so he won’t know anything about his old friend Clark. Welling also wants Kristin Kreuk to return to Smallville as Lana Lang, and I imagine she’ll be easier to convince, as she was recently dropped from her sitcom pilot, poor thing. 

 How will Clark survive his fall? Maybe John Jones will intervene again as he did in the phenomenal S8 premiere “Odyssey.” Will we see Clark wear the suit his mother sent him in “Salvation?” Will Lois still know that Clark is The Blur, or will the writers concoct some half-assed way around that? I predict that, this being the final season, Lois will know that Clark and The Blur are one and the same. We’ve already moved past the love triangle from the comics, done in its own special Smallville way. I believe we’ll watch Clark receive his final training from Jor-El (from the new console Tess constructed on the crow’s nest?), learn to fly, and wear his suit as he soars into the air in the series finale. Just like I predicted here.

And I will be here every week to gleefully rehash every detail with you! Yep, next season I’ll give thorough weekly recaps of each episode, as well as news and theories. I am so eager to experience the final season of a show that has meant so much to me for so long. In the meantime, watch those reruns, play the drinking game, and check back here often for scoop, spoilers and even some scholarly critiques!

The killing glove was designed by Desaad is just like it’s name…the ultimate weapon for the ultimate evil ruler. BTW Desaad is also part of this DC Universe wave.  Awesome sculpt and height is imposing when put together with the rest of the range. Wave 12 rocks !
Thanks to Action Figure Picts for the below. Check them out here

ANC Korrupsie

Hierdie vraag duik nou weer in my gedagtes op nadat ek van ‘n goeie vriend verneem het dat hulle Elliot Mashile, voorsitter van die Oos-Kaap se drankraad moes omkoop om hulle lisensie te kry. Blykbaar het die vark ‘n moerse fancy kar en ‘n moerse salaris, maar hy het nie geld vir petrol in sy kar nie!!!! Met die omkopery het hy ‘n dranklisensie, wat gewoonlik maande neem, binne 24-uur gereël. Al sou ek nooit wetend sou iets self doen nie, neem ek nie my vriend kwalik nie; hulle het alles aan hulle kant reg gedoen en moes al lankal die lisensie gehad. Maar die raad is so treurig hulle funksioneer eenvoudig nie. Of hulle verwag om omgekoop te word.

Op dieselfde dag verneem ek van ‘n ander vriend wat die lokale verkeersdepartement moes omkoop vir ‘n een of ander lisensie. Ek het self al – geheel en al onwetend – ‘n verkeersbeampte afgepers en my loodgieter het (sonder my toestemming) die bouinspekteur omgekoop namens my. Ek moes my prokureur betaal om die NHBRC te dagvaar sodat ek my sertifikaat kon kry want ek was nie beried om hulle om te koop nie.

Ons woonbuurt se strate is in haglike toestand, maar Ndlambe Munisipaliteit het niks geld om enigiets reg te maak nie. Die hoofberig in gister se Herald gaan oor Ndlambe se baie ernstige watertekort. En die ergste is dat dit nie eers so droog is nie; die munisipaliteit het net nie die vermoeë om die situasie te bestuur nie. Nou word tientalle ontwikkelings wat hierdie onderontwikkelde area broodnodig het net eenvoudig gestop; tot wie weet wanneer. Ons bedryf ‘n restaurant en water is ‘n noodsaaklikheid. Nou gaan hulle waarskynlik ons water afsny in Desember; die een periode in die jaar wat ons moet skep.

Eskom, ons enigste verskaffer van krag, se pryse gaan op met 45% per jaar vir 3 jaar. Dit beteken dat waar ons besigheid se krag ons nou R4000 per maand kos, sal dit in 2012 R12,000 per maand wees!! En ons is nie ‘n groot besigheid nie. Terloops Eskom Voorsiening (waar die grootste gemors is) se grootste sub-kontrakteur is Hitachi Power Africa en hulle grootste aandeelhouer? Die ANC!

Al hierdie terminale probleme kan oor die lang termyn uitgesorteer word deur mense met die regte vaardighede aan te stel in sleutelposte. Die feit wat baie linksgesindes en die ANC nie wil erken nie is dat meeste van hierdie mense wit is. En die ANC (lees Regering, Polisie, Lokale Regering, Eskom, Telkom, Groot Besigheid ens) weier om witmense aan te stel. Witmense word geheel en al gemarginaliseer. En die ergste van alles is witmense wil bydra. Hulle is bereid om opofferings te maak. Maar die nuwe Suid-Afrika soek nie witmense nie. Die reënboog is baie vinnig besig om swart te raak.

Ongelukkig dink ek dit gaan nog erger raak. Gister het Jacob Zuma, ons eerbare President (wat steeds nog nie sy dag in die hof gehad het nie) gesê dat die erg radikale Julius Malema, leier van die ANC se jeugliga, ‘n goeie leier vir die ANC sal wees. Hy het gesê die ANC is Malema se ‘inheritance’! Almal weet dit seker teen die tyd, maar Malema is ‘n imbesiel wat nie heeltemal matriek kon deurkom nie. Hy spoeg vuur en is openlik rassisties teenoor witmense. Cosatu is baie ontstel oor Eskom se voorgestelde tariewe en tog sal hulle (deur hulle ANC verteenwoordigers) nie ‘n private kragvoorsiener toelaat nie. Laas week is nog ‘n kragtige matige, Joel Netshitenzhe, uitgewerk deur die Kommunistiese elemente in die ANC. Ekonome erken dat hierdie verskynsel saam met die aanstelling van die uiters linkse Pravin Gordhan lei tot kommer.

Dit alles terwyl misdaad, korrupsie en armoede net meer raak. Hierdie is die tipe goed wat lei tot burgeroorloë. Rian Malan, voorheen linksgesinde joernalis en skrywer van My Traitor’s Heart, het onlangs gesê hy dink Suid-Afrika is op pad na ‘n burgeroorlog toe.

In my frustrasie het ek nou net aanlyn gekyk of ons kan werk in Holland. Ons kan; enige plek in Europa. Ons het nie papierwerk nodig nie omdat ons Britse Burgers is. Dit is vir my ongelooflik hartseer om dit te sê en ek wens dat was anders, maar ons is besig om in daai koers te dink. Uit die aard van die saak moet ons nog baie dink en bespreek voordat ons ‘n besluit maak, maar dit is nou ‘n oorweging waar dit vroeër nie was nie. Ek is gatvol vir korrupsie, omkopery, graft, rassisme, slaggate, geen dienslewering, misdaad en onkunde en mense wat al hierdie fundamentele probleme probeer afmaak as “nie so erg nie”!

Today we celebrate a wonderful man…

A man who fought for the less fortunate

A man who was born of beings not of this world

A man who time and time again risked his life for the cause of good

A man who died for the benefit of others

A man who came back to life for the benefit of mankind

That’s right today we celebrate and pay homage to a man whose efforts and deeds have been recorded and written down thousand of times…

The man that we honor today is none other than…

What you thought I meant someone else? I mean if we are going to celebrate a fictional character we might as well do it for one that stood for truth, justice, and the American way right? I mean he is faster than a locomotive, he is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, he has been mistaken for a bird, AND a plane, did that other guy do any of that?

He even died protecting us…

He then saw that his work wasn’t done and came BACK from the dead…

Hell when it comes time for the Apokolips…

Guess who will protect us? Certainly not that other guy.

So, after you are done wasting your time thinking about that other fictional character that really doesn’t measure up, take some time and think about a fictional character that really has your best interests in mind, hell he even does better with the ladies…

Superman’s woman…

That other guy’s woman…

I think the winner is clear.

     So, the big events of 2008 were Secret Invasion and Final Crisis.  But wait.  It’s 2009, and Final Crisis isn’t over.  Huh.  Seems no one drawing any of the major comic book events or top comics can keep to a schedule anymore.  Anyway, we’re almost done with the series.  Just two issues left.  So, what’s going on?  To be perfectly honest, I have NO clue.  Everything that’s going on is really awesome, but it largely has yet to tie together into a completely coherent whole.  Darkseid and the New Gods are back, in the bodies of mortals, which apparently decompose easily since they can’t hold their energy.  Check.  Nix Uotan, one of the Monitors, is in a mortal body as well and has just remembered who he is and regained his powers.  Check.  Mr. Miracle, the Super Young Team who are obviously really the Forever People, and Sunny Sumo are on a quest to save the world, which somehow relates to Metron, Anthro, and Kamandi.  Check, I guess?

     This is a series that goes all over the place.  And I do mean all over the place.  Green Lanterns and the Guardians of the Universe one second, the remnants of the Justice League, Justice Society, and Checkmate facing off impending doom another second, Dan Turpin, Darkseid, and the New Gods of Apokolips the next.  It’s all pretty crazy.  And somehow, this will end logically.  Okay…  And somehow, this relates to the multiverse in a way other than just that Darkseid is ripping apart the fabric of reality.  Okay…

     But this isn’t actually very fair.  You can sort of figure out where things are going.  And all the individual plots are actually really cool.  I like the way Grant Morrison has interpreted the Anti-Life Equation a lot.  The dialogue may be off sometimes, but the characterization for almost everyone is spot-on.  The art is gorgeous, though I do wish that J. G. Jones would have been able to do everything.  Which is not to say that Carlos Pacheco is a bad artist.  I just would like some artistic continuity.  I wish that Barry Allen wasn’t back either, but it’s been done well.  This is a series that is mostly cool but has a ton of things going against it.  So it’s a very mixed read with a somewhat positive bent.  I know, this whole review is odd.  But this story is odd.  It’s all odd for every reason.  I think everything’s going to wrap up well in the next two issues, and all this confusion will be forgotten.  I just can’t wait for that to happen.  But make no mistake.  Final Crisis is WAY better than Secret Invasion.  Better to be confusing and deep than predictable and shallow.

Plot: 9.0      Art: 8.6      Dialogue: 8.3      Overall: 8.7

“Sung in the cathedrals, whispered in the shadows… Ever unchanging, seldom unchanged… Bright incandescence, the black of the pit… such is the stuff of legends!”

Shortly after the one year long Crisis on Infinite Earths, John Ostrander banded together with Len Wein, John Bryne and Karl Kesel to create Legends, a six issue mini-series (with several tie-ins, the complete list of which can be found on the Wikipedia page), once again putting the world’s heroes in mortal danger. However this time they are up against the same people they swore to protect.

In an attempt to eradicate the legends of our planet, Darkseid sends Glorious Godfrey to Earth so that he can plant the seeds of doubt in the hearts of the population. With his psychic powers he quickly infects the people of Earth and turns them against the superhuman heroes. Shortly after, Godfrey’s influence has grown so strong that even the president of the United States can’t protect the superheroes any longer and so he issues an executive order that obliges the superheroes to cease their activities immediately. It seems as if Darkseid’s plan to rid the world from its heroes and finally conquer Earth is working, but he didn’t count on the special abilities of one person.

Who this person is will be up to you to find out. Even if this comic series is over twenty years old, it still feels very fresh and interesting. (Marvel’s Civil War dealt with a similar topic and this alone should show us that Ostrander’s vision was pretty far out there at the time.) Of course, due to its age, this comic is rather campy and still suffers from the typical “I have to introduce myself every time I enter a scene”- syndrome that most superheroes seemed to be infected with at the time. However, in order to understand the story lines in most DC comics from the last few years, Legends is a very good and important read, as it introduces several characters like Amanda Waller or the Suicide Squad. Also Darkseid’s obsession with Earth is once again emphasized and brilliantly put on paper. In addition to this, Legends can be considered a launching pad to several new series like Suicide Squad (obviously), the new Justice League, and the new series of Wonder Woman and Flash. All in all a timeless classic that should not be missed.

Story 8, Art 7, Reread 8, Overall Score 8/10