My blog hasn’t been the most focused aspect of my writing recently and for that I apologise. This is going to change.

I have added a new section for reviews to OverlandTraveller.com. All reviews – as honest as ever – will now be published there. Check it out here (bottom of left-hand navigation).

From now on the Overland Traveller blog will be dedicated to rants about the little things that confuse and enrage me on the road.

Expect blog posts on dire Chilean radio, menstruation at altitude, drunken backpackers and other matters of a similar nature to follow…

Former American Idol star Adam Lambert shocked the country at the American Music Awards recently, with a sexually charged live performance in which he kissed a male member of his act and put his crotch in the face of another. Even though Lambert recognized backstage that he might have offended some people, he refused to apologize. “I admit I did get carried away,” he told CBS’ The Early Show the morning after, “but I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Lambert has since gone on record accepting blame for the scandal, stating that nobody else knew about his actions beforehand. However, the growing controversy means that he may need to defend himself again, or apologize in the coming days. Not only has ABC received over 1,500 complaints since the performance, but members of the gay community in the United States have been arguing that he did a major disservice to gay people currently struggling for rights and respect.

To see Lambert’s post-show response to the controversy, and why some people were offended, watch the following videos:

Discussion Questions:

1.  Has Adam Lambert been negatively affected by his sexually charged performance? If so, how? If not, how has he helped his career with this controversy?

2.  Was Adam Lambert’s response to the crisis well-considered, or should he have made a more sincere apology for offending some viewers?

3.  What conditions might lead to Adam Lambert making a more complete apology in the coming days?

4.  If you were managing Lambert’s public relations, how might you try to repair his image in the coming weeks?

Received via email claiming the author is one Harold Estes, 23-year US Navy veteran who enlisted in 1934. Snopes.com says the claim is thus far unconfirmed, but regardless who wrote it, it effectively communicates the concerns many of us have with the behavior of our President this year.

Thank God for real patriots like Mr. Estes who guaranteed we inherited the freedoms he was born to. Now it’s our turn to do the same for future generations.

Is the best way to describe this blog’s status. And my own, as well.

I am very sorry for being so negligent. I have recently had a change of residence and am not fully settled into my new place. When I am (it should be within the week) I’ll have my PC set up and be using a more efficient wireless connection than I previously was. This will make blogging the relief I imagined it would be rather than the tiresome wait for my decrepit laptop to catch up with my speedy typing and ramblings about music.

Hopefully I’ll be sharing the best the musical world has to offer with you once more within the next few days. Best wishes.

A change promised, on knees and pleas
Asking and announcing a dreamy dawn
With words that soothed a troubled terror
And our unthinking hearts ruled the mind
Trusting a chance and a courage of will
Unable not to hope in a penitent politician

Speak not with smiles, but ask our fate
A sorrowful state unshelled in shackles
Staggering a self-pity, in change’s name
Our heads reeled, stunned by your clout
Unable to conceive meaning, forgive us
But do ask us, once only, our aspirations

Reality has eclipsed our obscured dreams
How can we tap a dance to a tune offbeat?
Our senses insensated by your insensitivity
If we knew, that a sun’s shine could fade
A river’s flow stilled and distilled as drink
Served as wine for dinner, or twas a party?

The gluttony of power, a blinding light
Did cast darkness over your grand vision
Our wounds and aches you did not bear
The woes we sanctified you to eradicate
Our ignorance, your sanctuary of strength
Your intent, worse than our feared fears

Again, you come, to seek and to receive
Our faithfulness, a pledge of our sanity
On a warm day, when a charcoal glows
And a vulture circles above your highness
Asserting your feats in feasts of fulfilment
With specious stories to alter our attitudes

Our hearts’ been punctured in two places
Thus our unflinching wits weave our views
Dispelling the twists and suspense of logic
Our thoughts think and we discern a dawn
We seek a frank reality, not your imaginings
Too long, a perfect lie lived in our name

We cannot visualize your vision, you didn’t
We witnessed your antics, our eyes and ears
Your pomp unmasked in fresh dainty daisies
Demanding the annals to spell you a tribute
The cock crowed at noon, have you heard?
As presaged by the fetish of mumbled words

How soon a sun sets, the twilight has come
We, mere spectators have become judges
Unlike you, we are incorrupt and fairly fair
You are flabby and ailing, what can you offer?
Your image depicts an apology and regret
Sadly sloshed beside stinking shades of frolics

Failed, is a slighted word for your reign
Your ego forth all the differing opinions
Our yearnings and your vision run parallel
Like Achilles, fighting for King Agamemnon
What are we without you, a mystified mob?
Take a rest; stand in the shade and observe

Google has apologised for a racist caricature of Michelle Obama that became the top result for users searching for images of the US First Lady.
Anyone typing “Michelle Obama” into Google Images this morning was presented with an altered photo depicting the US president’s wife with animal features.
However, the California-based Internet giant distanced itself from this by posting a message above the offensive photo.
The note states, “Sometimes our search results can be offensive. We agree,” directs users to a page explaining the technology giant’s policy on “disturbing” search results, The Telegraph reported.
The message makes it clear that the Michelle Obama image is not endorsed by Google, but indicates that the company will take no action to have it removed.
“Google views the integrity of our search results as an extremely important priority,” it states.
“Accordingly, we do not remove a page from our search results simply because its content is unpopular or because we receive complaints concerning it.” it added.
“We apologise if you’ve had an upsetting experience using Google. We hope you understand our position regarding offensive results,” it ends.
Google search result rankings are determined by complex algorithms that take into account a number of factors. A powerful element in the calculations is how many other sites on the Internet link to an image or web page from the search term text.
This means it is possible for mischievous web users to artificially inflate a search ranking in a process known as “Google bombing”, although this usually requires the coordinated efforts of thousands of people, the report said.

Hello fellow blog readers!  As you may have noticed I have been absent from the crazy world of blogging – with posts few & far between… but that is only because I have been MONSTROUSLY busy doing… well the things you are about to read!

So stay tuned and be PREPARED to be blown away with an insane amount of posts.  Okay not really (I don’t want to lose any subscribers) so maybe like one or two a day.  =)

Hope you have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!  I am thankful you are reading my blog!!

Barbie

Much is made, especially by the religious, about the importance of forgiveness. But the topic is worthy of some discussion before one gives a blanket endorsement to forgiveness of everyone and everything. Should all acts be open to forgiveness? Is apology essential before there is any forgiveness? Are some offenses unforgivable? Are some people permitted more leeway to act inappropriately and exempt from the expectation of apology?

First off, who has the right to forgive? Only those who have been injured. I have no right to forgive your mistakes unless you have done me harm in some fashion. Certainly, this right might include an injury done to someone I love, if I too will have suffered pain due to the harm done to the other person. The idea that I can’t forgive you for an injury you did to someone I don’t know, for example, is allied to the notion of legal standing. I can’t bring a law suit against you unless the court agrees that I have a stake in the matter. As the old saying goes, “I don’t have a dog in this race.” That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about what happened; rather, it means that in matters of injury, compensation, or apology, I’m not directly involved.

Another consideration is whether the injury is ongoing. If someone is in the process of playing practical jokes on you day after day, to take an example that is relatively small, would you forgive his poor taste or judgment? He’d probably laugh at you if you did, because that individual sees nothing wrong with what he has done. Better to get him to stop or get out of his way, than to consider any generosity of spirit on your part that is likely to go unappreciated.

Then there is the question of apology. Let’s assume the joker just mentioned has a moment of self-awareness, or perhaps has been persuaded that his actions are rude. What must he do to apologize? According to Aaron Lazare’s book On Apology, he should acknowledge what he did to hurt you, say that he is sorry, and attempt to compensate you in some way. In the case of public humiliation caused by the practical jokes, for example, it would be appropriate (although perhaps impractical) for the prankster to make a public admission of his foolishness in front of the same people who were present when he embarrassed you. Moreover, he must do his very best to make sure that his boorish behavior isn’t repeated. Simply saying “I’m sorry” isn’t enough. Nor is it sufficient to state, “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you,” a turn-of-phrase we hear from public figures, but one that is absolutely inadequate. According to Lazare, it is crucial that the transgressor be precise in admitting what exactly he did that caused harm, leaving no ifs, ands or buts, and making no excuses. This is the same sort of thing that happens in court, when, after a plea bargain, the accused admits exactly what he did without excusing it away, and recounts the consequences that followed from that behavior. In legal terms it is called “allocution.”

With respect to the question of some offenses being unforgivable, that is for the injured party to decide. Murder, rape, torture–all terrible–still permit the possibility of forgiveness if it is in the capacity of the afflicted to give it. The same answer would apply to the question of having a different standard for the behavior of one person than for another. We all do this in practice, accepting the failures and misbehavior of those we love when we aren’t so generous with a stranger who does exactly the same thing; and we often let things go without apology.

Forgiveness, however, is not the same as forgetting. If you have been injured, it is most often worth remembering who did what to you, lest you put yourself at risk of being hurt once again. Nor does forgiveness require that you continue your relationship with the person who harmed you; it is sometimes good judgment to forgive the person at the same time that you end the relationship with him.

Relationships are messy and we all can do better and be kinder. Many people have trouble telling others when their actions have caused an injury. The victim can suffer silently or in grumbling discontent, and passive-aggressively try to pay-back the injurer in some indirect fashion. Often, the hurt that the injurer caused is inadvertent and might be easily remedied if the one who has done the harm is told gently but firmly that he caused unhappiness.

Of course, some relationships, if they regularly cause injury, can be quickly dispensed with at little cost. But for those closest to us, we usually will suffer more and longer before limiting contact or severing the bond with that individual. And contact with parents or siblings, for example, cannot be replaced. So, for most of us, we will usually put up with some measure of unhappiness in order to keep a place in our lives for even the unrepentant relative. And, in part, it depends on how much one is willing to put up with.

There is at least one additional very important and useful reason to forgive. It follows from the old Italian expression, “If you want revenge, you should dig two graves (one for yourself and one for the object of your revenge).” The point here is that carrying anger is costly and letting go of that anger might allow you to be happier and more at ease in the rest of your life.

But, be careful not to let go automatically and too soon. Anger is often a necessary part of getting over an injury. While it doesn’t always have to be expressed at someone else, neither is turning the other cheek invariably the best policy for your psychological well-being. Writing about your feelings will oft-times help, and talking to a friend or counselor can be useful. But once you are through the stage of anger, forgiveness is at least a possibility.

Still another reason for accepting an apology and forgiving is that the relationship can be continued and sometimes improved by the act of mutual understanding that is involved. Life is full of disagreements and differences, in addition to unintentionally hurt feelings. Those parties who can survive conflicts, communicate about them, and come to a point of acceptance, understanding, and appreciation often are bonded together more strongly by the experience.

It takes maturity to know when to ignore something and when, instead, to confront the person who has injured you. Most things probably aren’t worth the trouble of a conflict, lest one always be fighting and accusing others. Best to wait for a cool and calm moment to decide whether confrontation is worth it, than to act in the over-heated instant. That is nothing more than common sense.

But, as a wise man once said, common sense is rather uncommon.

I'll add the apology first. I had a piece about Edward
Woodward and The Wicker Man as a combined obit and
hauntological exploration, but I was sadly sidetracked
by getting  a job at last, and so, as ever, things went on
the back burner. As way of an apology, and for missing last
Friday, an early addition of albums of the week that includes
more than five albums. Amazing.
The Edward Woodward piece will follow, hopefully, next
week or thereabouts. A review of ATP Nightmare Before
Christmas will also arrive after the event.

Albums of the Week

Mountains - Etching


The Necks - Silverwater


Aufgang - Aufgang


King Midas Sound - Waiting For You


2562 - Unbalance


ABC - The Lexicon of Love


Matt Elliott - Drinking Songs

Numerous pleasing listens abound in the past week plus,
and the happy return of The Necks added to this.
Hanging Gardens and The Chemist are past favourites, and
Silverwater offers a nice dose of Minimalist influenced
playing, nimble unhurried percussion and intertwining
bass work. Mountains are a beautiful group. Choral is
an amazing album and Etchings seems to be an EP high-
lighting the processes which brought it about. It is
'live' apparently, in that it was recorded in one go.
30 minutes in and it reaches an impressive crescendo,
unusual for a release that is classified as 'ambient'.

My favourite of the week was a return to Matt Elliott's
Drinking Songs, which was released 4 years ago now.
The tracks bleed in to one another, repeat themes and
characters, are haunted by the ghosts of lost sailors
,soldiers and the bars they inhabit(ed) and are eventually
pulled apart by the twenty minute closer 'The Maid
We Messed'. 'The Kursk' and 'What's Wrong' are top
for me, even if the latter does remind me of Fagin
in Oliver Twist. The former does a neat trick of
merging the acoustic elements and over-layered vocals
with electronic manipulation of a delicate and
nurturing kind that I myself try and fail to
cultivate in my work. Worth finding.

The holidays are here! It’s a time to enjoy family, hopefully a little time off from work and a time to shop for more things for others to be thankful for.

It’s also a very stressful time. We’ve got great expectations of what will be and should be over the holidays. Many of us are traveling from here to there and our sheer numbers in tight places make everything a wee bit more difficult. Sometimes we even forget about being thankful for each other and we slip into a wee bit of holiday rage. You know, that time when we may yell at a fellow traveler for taking up too much overhead bin space or trample our neighbor in an effort to the get that special Black Friday deal.

I love spending time with family for the holidays, but I am not a big fan of the traveling. For some reason United Airlines thinks it’s funny to repeatedly lose our luggage. Last year over Christmas our suitcase was delivered to us after 5 days, right before we turned around to fly back home. Well worth the $15 each way we paid to have it flown to Pennsylvania in the first place.

This time we flew directly to Pennsylvania from Los Angeles, not passing go, not collecting two hundred dollars. I really did think to myself, “what could possibly go wrong?”

Our bags were delayed. It’s a sad and lonely feeling when you’re standing at the baggage carousel, watching the bags come out and twirl around on the belt. The people you flew in with are collecting their luggage and going off to have their adventures while you continue to stand there, waiting. Finally the belt stops and you are alone, still waiting for a bag that isn’t coming.

In this particular instance it only took just over one full day for our baggage to arrive but we were put through the wringer by United’s baggage claim staff while waiting. There were several times I caught them lying to me and when I called them on it they’d punish me by placing me on hold for increasingly long periods of time. Finally, I heard from the delivery company that United contracts to and after being told all day that the delivery company is unreachable by the public I was informed that they are public and they were shocked to hear that I was told by United that I could not contact them. The reason why, I learned from the delivery company, was that my luggage had only just arrived with them, which was in direct opposition to what I was told throughout the day by United.

So here you read me telling you that I caught United Airlines as a company, through their employees, lying to me and treating me badly. In order to give them their say I contacted them, told them I was writing this and asked if they would like to comment, promising to include it here. My response was a form letter telling me how to go about filing claims for delayed or damaged luggage. Should they reply in person at a later date I will place their response in the comments section.

The moral of the story, I believe, is that people will continue to be people, not always nice, often only looking out for themselves. Companies do the same to an even greater degree, but we continue to deal with it to get to spend time with the people we love.

That said, there’s no reason we should continue to put up with such treatment from the companies that rely on our patronage for their continued existence. We should demand better and if enough of us do it then they will treat us well and make that time we spend with our families even more precious.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Haven’t posted for a while due to quite a serious illness which manifested itself as a full week with no food or sleep. And this, although rather inconvenient at the time, provided me with a lot of stuff to write about.

This is a realisation I had whilst recovering in my empty house back in Sheffield.

A Letter of Apology

Dear _______

I fear that I have been somewhat unfair. Things I said were exaggerated and unjust. So I return with guilt-ridden eyes cast to the ground in shame to beg forgiveness of you who I feel bore me and raised me. You who saw me through all my phases, you who saw me through all my ages, you who provided for them, you who forced me to grow up, you who shook me awake, you who bored me and I abandoned.

No regret there, but what I said and I embarrassed you it was all wrong. Because here I am now, a temporary refugee from the very thing I left you for, crawling broken and crying, seeking shelter and warm. Recovering in relative solitude, licking my wounds red faced and defiant but disheartened. Spirits are so low, so I’ve used the last of my strength and climbed back over my wall out of the wind. I’ve promised myself that this is the last time, that the comfort scares me, but you‘re always there, and no matter how I pretend, a safety net is always a nice thing to have. I don‘t want to get rid of it just yet. But I promise that you won’t be the victim of any agitated, half-deranged barrage of such venomous language again.

All of my love,

Greg

I know I tried keeping this blog anonymous but I knew at some point someone was going to grab my iPhone or my computer and find the blog by mistake. Well, just like my first comment (and still the only one), it happened much faster than I thought.

So he read it and her only comment was… wow, you have to rewrite everything you said!

This is how it went…

Him: wow, you have to rewrite everything you said!
Me: why?
Him: because if I didn’t know you I’d think you’re not over your ex-wife!
Me: that doesn’t make sense, I am
Him: I know, that’s why you have to rewrite it!
Me: but, that’s not what I meant, I’m sure you’re not reading it correctly
Him: sure, I know what you meant but I assure you what’s written is not good
Me: well, I’ve never really been a good writer but that’s not how I feel, you know that, why would it sound like that?
Him: because you wanted to sound a mix between victim and funny and it just turned out wrong… worse than that, if any possible girlfriend reads this you’re screwed!
Me: I still think you’re taking things way over proportion
Him: Sure, do you want me to call XXX and see what he thinks?
Me: Noooooo! Ok, you win, but I won’t erase or rewrite anything, I’ll just post this conversation and try to say things differently from now on…

So here I am, apologizing for the second time in less than a week and promising a new change. The only problem is that this time I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it right as I’m not really sure what’s wrong!

I think tomorrow I’ll write about my ex-wife and our current relationship, maybe this will clear up things a little bit… or maybe my friend, who will for sure read this blog from now on (he’s not the reader I’m looking for ) will beat me up for screwing it up even more

Anyway, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite demotivators of all times. Not my favorite, one day I’ll post it here for sure, but this one is good… just click on the text to see the image:

“It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others“

…I decided to add a small, little excerpt from it for you guys. I am sooooo sorry, it’s taking so long, yes, I am aware. However, it really is out of my hands…I am currently ending the 6th page of it, and I think I have about…three more pages to finish this chapter, and another chapter to finish the whole fiction.

I am sorry once again, please bear with me.

True to the nurse’s words, Yami started stirring about two and a half hours later. Seto was sitting on the edge of the bed, still on Yami’s left side, while Téa sat in the chair on the opposite side. Little words were exchanged between them, because words seemed too…unsuitable in the silent, dreadful, anticipation-infested atmosphere inside the recovery ward. Whatever communication was done was mostly through silent stares and facial expressions.

It amused Seto how much he and Téa worked so synergistically together. Perhaps the people picking the head students in school really knew what they were doing. They really made a good team. Between them, their hands, single words and the air around them itself, worked on trying to lull Yami out of his comatose state. For the past two hours, it seemed as though the only thing that mattered was to bring Yami back to them and to see his eyes opening.

And as Seto felt the very slight, almost imperceptible, twitch of Yami’s little finger in his hand, the brunet straightened and as if on cue, Téa did the same. Two pairs of blue eyes met very briefly for just a second and in the short-lived stare they shared, Seto told Téa what she needed to do the most right now.

And he wasn’t disappointed, as Téa got up from her chair gracefully, leaning down to very, very gently brush her lips against Yami’s bandaged forehead, giving his right hand the smallest squeeze, before letting go and walking out, leaving them alone.

Seto focused every bit of his attention on Yami, who, in response to Téa’s sweet, friendly touch, started renewing his efforts to wake up. The little twitch Seto felt now developed into a definite, unmistakable curling of the rest of Yami’s fingers around the brunet’s white hand, accompanied by the barest of sounds, a small groan of discomfort. Seto made sure to squeeze Yami’s hand which had moved, trying to make sure that Yami knew that once he opened his eyes, he would see a friendly face. The gesture had its intended effect. Yami seemed to pause ever-so-slightly and, as his crimson eyes slid open just a fraction, his bandaged head turned to Seto’s general direction.

The brunet smiled gently and made sure he was in Yami’s line of vision. He tried to put in as much warmth into it as he could, and he triumphantly noticed that again, it seemed to bring about the desired result, as the corners of Yami’s mouth twitched slightly in a faint smile.

“Hey you…” Seto spoke in a whisper, mindful of the nasty concussion the effects of which Yami must be dealing with at that moment. He leaned down slightly so he could kiss the left side of the top of Yami’s hand, making sure never to jostle the IV.

Sorry it’s so short…but I didn’t wanna give the whole chapter away. And yes, this is more of a filler chapter…a link between the last, violent chapter and the next, more peaceful one. Sorry once again for the long wait.

Heh. This is an older amusing one that wasn’t covered in my post about past W(aL)D insanity.

This one isn’t really completely in the W(aL)D category, as it’s a legitimate complaint… but still, it’s ridiculous enough to share. Below is the my initial email regarding the incident, and I actually broke my “no calls” rule to talk to a regional manager who was not amused.

You can see what she had to say as it all played out in a thread at PittsburghBeat.com.

At any rate, it pays to make problems like this known.

Enjoy!

-mE.
.seitilibasid gninrael fo nuf ekam ot ynnuf ton yllaer s’tI

Forwarded Message —-
From: Eric Carroll <me@myaddre.ss>
To: dnstech@wendys.com; dnsadmin@wendys.com
Sent: Mon, January 26, 2009 11:45:04 AM
Subject: Wendy’s in Dormont (Pittsburgh, PA) – W. LIBERTY #5

Hello,

I’d like to share with you a review of my experience at a local Wendy’s (W. LIBERTY #5 according to the Wendy’s store locator), also posted on UrbanSpoon.com. I don’t have very many “bad” reviews up, but this Wendy’s location has gone slow and messed up my order countless times.

I’d like to know how Wendy’s as a corporation feels about restaurants like this, and what (if any) measures are taken by corporate to see that this kind of thing doesn’t go on.

The full text of my review can be viewed here: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/23/1346715/restaurant/Far-South-South-Hills/Wendys-Old-Fashioned-Hamburgers-Dormont-Pittsburgh

But I will also post it here for your consideration:

“Dave Thomas would be ashamed…” by ERiC AiXeLsyD (63 reviews)

January 26, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – Seriously. I know I”ve said these words before about McDonald’s… I get that it’s only fast food, it’s cheap, and that I shouldn’t expect much… but holy cow, is this consistently one of the slowest “fast food” restaurants that I’ve ever been to. Of course, like an idiot, I keep going back hoping that it might someday be an actual convenience. Let me share with you my latest adventure…

Sunday morning, my wife & I were on our way out to my Mom’s house in the ‘Burbs… so we thought we’d get a quick bite to eat. It was nearing the 11:00am mark, so I knew we were going to hit the breakfast/lunch changeover. We skipped the McDormontonald’s because the drive-thru line looked like rush hour in the Liberty tubes. Thankfully, Wendy’s appeared to be a ghost town. There was hardly anyone inside, and there was one car ahead of us in the drive-thru but they were all the way up at the window.

As we pulled up to the speaker to place our order, I asked if they were serving breakfast or lunch, & was informed that they were serving both. So, I ordered the breakfast chicken sandwich combo, and the wife ordered the #2 bacon panini combo.

After receiving the order in what would be considered a long wait in a normal fast food environment but translated to remarkably quick at this location, I pulled into a nearby spot to inspect the goods. (Sadly, a must any more.)We discovered that my order was fine, but the wife had received a sausage panini instead of the ordered bacon panini. I checked the receipt to see if I had mis-ordered the # of the combo. Nope. The receipt clearly stated BACON in that nifty dot-matrix receipt font.

My wife’s not a big fan of sausage patties, and she was reluctantly leaning toward just eating it because time was of the essence. I know I like to eat what I ordered & paid for, so I went inside to get what I thought would be a simple swap-out.

Oh my, was I wrong.

My first encounter was with the young girl at the cash register. I politely stated that we had just gone through the drive-thru and that I wanted to exchange the sausage panini that we had received for the bacon one that we ordered.

I was told that breakfast was over & that hey couldn’t make a bacon one. After a slight pause of disbelief and bewilderment, I told her that I had just been handed the sandwich less that a minute ago through the drive-thru window… and it had been made just seconds before that.

She then yelled for her manager, and I stepped aside so she could help the next customer.

Now, while never working at a fast food establishment, I do understand that changeover time is changeover time… something to do with eggs on the cooking surface and kitchen setup and all sorts of things that are surely beyond my comprehension as the average fast food consumer.

After a wait the manager (coincidentally the very same person who handed me the order through the drive-thru window) came over and I again explained my situation… and he looked at me. Yes. Just stared blankly at me. For an awkwardly long time. I actually started to wonder if he understood English & was capable of hearing. Compelled to break the silence, I even showed him the receipt that clearly said BACON. All caps. No confusion!

Again, I was met with “we’re serving lunch now, we can’t make that”. OK. I understand. I get that. The point now is what can you do for me?

I asked if I could get something else as compensation, and/or get my money back. (I think I was growing visibly frustrated by this point.)

I called the wife, explained to her the complexity of the situation, and she decided upon a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. So, I asked for one of those… and waited… and waited… While a guy who had gone in line in front of me had ordered during my exchange with the manager was waiting too.

After a while he exclaimed with multiple expletives that it was a ridiculously long wait, and how it was un-f’n-believable that a fast food restaurant with 3 people in it and a packed kitchen could go so slow.

I could hardly contain my laughter as I was also driven to the limits of my patience.

After what was surely sufficient time to cook & assemble 20 Jr. Bacon cheeseburgers, I received that, AND my money back for the sausage panini (which was now in the trash right behind the counter). So, I guess I got a free cheeseburger, hash browns & a drink.

I never did get any kind of apology, or admittance that they had messed up the order. (Which bewilders me that one can read bacon off of a screen and put down sausage… but I’m certainly not above making mistakes… so I can’t fault anyone for that.)

I just find it amazing that they weren’t apologizing from the start and presenting a solution instead of waiting for me to come up with one.

You’d think they’d have a “keep the customer happy” policy in place. Don’t they teach you any of this when you go to school to be a manager at Wendy’s?Take mom n’ pop shops… if they screw up an order or take too long, they’d give you a discount or a free drink or a coupon for next time… and they’re certainly taking more of a profit hit than a chain that would do the same thing.

At any rate, don’t go to Wendy’s in Dormont if you’re in a hurry, or if you actually want what you ordered.

I like Wendy’s. I grew up eating at the one in Murrysville, I frequent the one in Canonsburg for lunch. You have decent food for a cheap price, and I generally feel that the quality is better than that of other fast food chains.

I’d love to be able to eat peacefully and grab a quick bite to eat at the Wendy’s closest to where I live.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my experience, and I look forward to your reply.

Thank you for your time, and listening to my story.

-Eric Carroll

me@myaddre.ss

HI there,  Why is it that Canadians are always saying “We’re sorry?” Where did this need to apologize come from? I have no idea but I did ask Google and discovered on online dialogue about this very subject. Could it be that we are just trying to be polite?

I’m sorry (whoops there I go again) if I’m belabouring the point but perhaps Canadians are on to something here.  Being able to apologize can go a long way toward having healthy relationships.

Given the amount of time most of us spend with other people every day, this should be a priority for everyone.

In fact  there seems to be a growing interest in the role that apology can play in creating a healthy, functional workplace.

This weekend I came across a new book called “Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, Restoring Trust” by Jon Kador.

If you check out Jon’s website you can also complete a quiz that tests your Apology Quotient or AQ. I barely passed the quiz and was told that I need to work on my apology skills. Hmmmm. I seem to be apologizing all the time–perhaps there’s something more?

When was the last time you told someone at work that you were sorry?

There are numerous reasons why it is important to apologize when you have done something wrong. Apart from the obvious strengthening of your relationships you may find there are other benefits.

This is especially true if you are in a leadership position. According to a study conducted by the Queen’s University School of Business in Kingston, Ontario,

“leaders who apologize consistently, when they have made mistakes, are seen to be more transformational, ethical, influential, trustworthy, caring and considerate.”

And if that is not a strong enough reason for leaders to apologize consider this,

“executives who apologize earn more than executives who never apologize”.

So what can we do? Well no matter who you are it is important to both know how to apologize and also to know how to accept an apology. Let’s start with how to go about apologizing effectively:

• Make in genuine
• Don’t justify your actions
• Make a commitment to change
• Choose your words carefully
• Be prepared for the unexpected

You can’t control how the other person will react but at least you will have done your part.

Lesley

I Retract My Apology and Call for More Regulation of Goldman Sachs (pdf)

Courtesy of Janet Tavakoli at TSF

(see also Apology)

According to SIGTARP¹, both the Federal Reserve and Treasury agreed that an AIG failure posed unacceptable risk to the global financial system and the U.S. economy.  On March 24, 2009, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke testified before the House Financial Services Committee [P.9]:

[C]onceivably, its failure could have resulted in a 1930’s-style global financial and economic meltdown, with catastrophic implication[s].

From July 2007, AIG’s financial situation deteriorated while so-called “AAA” collateralized debt obligations (CDOs) dropped in value. AIG sold credit default swaps (CDSs) on these CDOs and had to post more collateral, as the prices plummeted.

Goldman Sachs was AIGFP’s (UK-based AIG Financial Products) largest CDS counterparty with around $22.¹ billion, or about one-third of the problematic trades.  Goldman underwrote some of the CDOs underlying its own CDSs, and also underwrote a large portion of the CDOs against which French banks SocGen, Calyon, Bank of Montreal, and Wachovia bought CDS protection.  Goldman provided pricing on these CDOs to SocGen and Calyon. Goldman was a key contributor to AIG’s liquidity strain and the resulting systemic risk.  (See “Goldman’s Undisclosed Role in AIG’s Distress”)

Apocalypse AIG

By mid September 2008, AIG’s long-term credit rating was downgraded, its stock price plummeted, and AIG couldn’t meet its borrowing needs in the short-term credit markets.  According to SIGTARP, “without outside intervention, the company faced bankruptcy, as it simply did not have the cash that was required to provide to AIGFP’s counterparties as collateral.” [P.9] The Federal Reserve Board with Treasury’s encouragement authorized a bailout. ²

The Federal Reserve Bank of New York (FRBNY) extended an $85 billion revolving credit facility, so AIG could make its collateral payments to Goldman and some of its CDO buyers.  AIG also met other obligations, such as payments under its securities lending programs owed to Goldman and some of its CDO buyers.  (See also: “AIG Discloses Counterparties to CDS, GIA, and Securities Lending Transactions.”)

Goldman “Would Have Realized a Loss”

Fed Chairman Bernanke said AIG’s crisis put the world at risk for a global financial meltdown.  Goldman purchased little credit default protection³ against an AIG collapse.  Even if Goldman escaped a collateral clawback of the billions it held from AIG4, the underlying CDOs posed substantial market value risk (SIGTARP P. 17).  As for systemic risk, Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein worried about untold billions in losses. (Too Big to Fail, P. 382.)

On September 16, 2008, as the FRBNY arranged AIG’s $85 billion credit line, Goldman CFO David Viniar said whatever the outcome, he would expect the direct impact of credit exposure to be “immaterial to [Goldman’s] results.” The CDOs’ ($22.1 billion) value was down around $10 billion, and AIG still owed Goldman $2.5 billion in collateral (hedged and partly collateralized by CDSs on AIG).  SIGTARP shows the CDOs’ value fell another $2.5 billion in two months, and AIG’s new credit line provided more collateral.  The CDOs were losing market value.  If AIG had collapsed, the value drop would have been swift and brutal with new protection either unavailable or too expensive, if past CDS market mayhem provided any information.  As the Wall Street Journal put it, SIGTARP “throws cold water on [Goldman’s] claim.”

Before September 16, 2008, AIG tried to negotiate a settlement for forty cents on the dollar.  Other insurers have negotiated even deeper discounts to settle their CDS contracts on CDOs.   The SIGTARP report shows that the FRBNY’s decision to pay 100 cents on the dollar to resolve $13.9 billion (part of Goldman’s $22.1 billion) of credit default swaps by purchasing the underlying CDOs in Maiden Lane III was important to Goldman Sachs.  “Goldman Sachs…did not agree to concessions, because it would have realized a loss if it had.”  [P.16]

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, then President of FRBNY, is revealed in this New York Times article with apparent Stockholm syndrome rivaled only by Patty Hearst.   He seems to echo Goldman’s talking points after discussions with Goldman’s CFO.  In the fall of 2008, Henry (“Hank”) Paulson was Treasury Secretary.  Paulson was formerly CEO of Goldman Sachs and held that role when Goldman executed its trades with AIG.  Stephen Friedman, a former Goldman Sachs co-chairman, was Chairman of FRBNY.  Friedman owned shares of Goldman Sachs, and was a member of Goldman’s board, while he held his influential Fed position.  He resigned the Fed position in May 2009, but not before purchasing 50,000 shares of Goldman Sachs, when the public was still in the dark about the terms of the bailout.

Goldman’s Turn to Apologize

In light of the SIGTARP report, I withdraw my earlier apology to Goldman.  Public commitments to AIG are currently around $182 billion.  If you wonder what Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein meant when he said: “[Goldman Sachs] participated in things that were clearly wrong and we have reason to regret and we apologize for them,” think of Goldman’s role in AIG’s crisis, Goldman’s bailout, and Goldman’s ongoing heavy taxpayer subsidies.  That way, one of you will be genuinely sorry about it.

◊◊

1  The November 17, 2009 report of the Office of the Special Inspector General for the Troubled Asset Relief Programs, “Factors Affecting Efforts to Limit Payments to AIG Counterparties.”  The report does not address the risk of collateral clawbacks by authorities on behalf of AIG or the public, and it does not address the relative size of Goldman’s CDS positions and CDO underwriting activity related to AIG’s CDSs mentioned in the above commentary.

2  Fed and Treasury officials thought AIG’s derivatives were “more risky and unbalanced than Lehman’s.”  They were concerned about loss of confidence in AIG’s subsidiaries, AIG’s failure to perform on annuities and wraps, losses to state and local governments, global banks and investment banks, losses to 401k plans, and the credit markets.  The Reserve Primary Fund had fallen below $1.00 per share after it wrote off Lehman’s debt causing a run on the fund, and officials worried about an AIG failure causing further “breaking-of-the-buck.” (P. 10)

3 SIGTARP says Goldman would have trouble collecting on the credit default protection it bought to protect against an AIG collapse—which by deduction seems to only be around $2.5 billion.  It is usual to have mark-to-market collateral, but it is unlikely this position was 100% collateralized.  In November 2008, it seems $1.2 billion of this hedge was allocated for Maiden Lane III assets and $1.1 billion to another $8.2 billion position leaving an apparent slight excess notional amount.  But even if it were 100% collateralized, that seeming advantage could quickly disappear in a volatile market when pricing discounted illiquid assets that lack transparency.  [P. 16, 17]

4 According to SIGTARP, private participants felt AIG’s financial condition was so tenuous that on September 15, they refused to fund AIG making the Fed’s bailout necessary.  Their analysis showed AIG’s liquidity needs exceeded the value of the company’s assets.  [P.8]

Goldman’s status in the event of an AIG collapse would have been that of a credit default swap counterparty during a global crisis with very special circumstances.  Goldman thought it would get to keep the billions in dollars it received from AIG, if AIG collapsed.  That would normally be the case, but these would have been extraordinary circumstances inflamed by value-destroying CDOs over which Goldman had pricing power, and Goldman had underwritten some of the CDOs.  Authorities charged with resolving a collapse of AIG may have clawed back a substantial portion of the collateral.

Janet Tavakoli is the president of Tavakoli Structured Finance, a Chicago-based consulting  firm to financial institutions and institutional investors.  She is the author of a book on the cause global financial meltdown: Dear Mr. Buffett: What an Investor Learns 1,269 Miles from Wall Street (Wiley, 2009), Structured Finance & Collateralized Debt Obligations (Wiley 2003, 2008), and Credit Derivatives & Synthetic Structures (Wiley 1999 and 2001).

Janet Tavakoli

President

Tavakoli Structured Finance, Inc.

web site: www.tavakolistructuredfinance.com

*****

So. Central Rain (I’m Sorry): REM

In my fifteen years of marriage, I have managed to do remarkable job of staying out of serious trouble.

Generally speaking, things around the this household only become unhinged when I neglect to remember that the four words  “I told you so” are better left unsaid.

Until now.

I have discovered a new method of getting into trouble.

Not having to buy an expensive jewelery for her kind of trouble… (See Kobe Bryant below…)

Not even sleeping on the couch kind of trouble…

It all started last Wednesday when I dropped my wife off at the airport leaving me alone with the children during the beginning of one of the nastiest storms this region has seen in years.

She left me a list for everything.

A list for breakfasts.

A list for home schooling the youngest.

A list for lunches.

A list for home schooling the oldest.

A list for dinners.

A list for things for me to do if I have “extra time.”

A list of acceptable snacks for the kids.

A list of what to feed the turtles, hermit crabs, crickets and frogs.

(BTW…Frogs eat the crickets.)

A list of unacceptable snacks for the kids…and pets.

A list of places I can take the kids to eat…with gift cards attached.

A list of what to use to care for my daughters hair…and the specified order for its’ application.

Before the storm would complete its’ path of destruction and leave 12″ of rain on the ground and blow tidal waters back through the cities storm drainage system, an estimated 75,000 homes were left without power.

My house was one of those 75,000.

We went black on Thursday at about 6:15 pm.

Three seconds after the lights went out, the sounds of a five-year old girl shrieking while she was trapped in a dark room pierced my ears.

I grabbed my flashlight…

As the responsible adult…remember that my wife was gone for the week…I was left to restore order to this chaotic situation.

First on the list was going to be getting some light throughout the house.

Easy.

There are candles EVERYWHERE…kitchen, living room, dining room, home school room, all three bathrooms and every bedroom.   I think we even have candles on the porch.

We have more candles here that at any Michael Jackson vigil…

This was going to be simple…we had enough candles to both light the house and provide enough heat to keep us warm.

Problem solved.

After grabbing one of the long fireplace matches, I started lighting.

Although the five minutes I spent lighting the 30 candles in the house that would bring peace to the house for the three days we were powerless, it would turn out to be an act that I would soon regret.

Due to the remote area my wife was traveling, phone access was limited and we didn’t communicate for the three days the Burgess were living like cave-dwellers…with windows and carpet.

Maybe high-class cave-dwellers.

Jump to Sunday morning…

*ring*

*ring*

ME: Hello.

WIFE: Hey.  It’s me…how’s everything going there?

ME:  You wouldn’t believe it.  That storm that started on Wednesday when you were leaving is still here and we lost power for three days.

WIFE: I’ll bet Haylee was terrified.

ME:  It wasn’t too bad.  It’s a good thing  we had so many candles in the house.

WIFE:  You DIDN’T use all of my expensive Yankee Candles I have out for display only, did you?   I keep candles on the top shelf of the hall closet in case of an emergency.

ME:  Uh… was that on a list?

I am in trouble now for my actions during the storm, but, for those three days, I had the nicest smelling house in Virginia Beach.