2.  I’ve stopped moaning about the  power cuts we often get here in North Cyprus. Whingeing doesn’t make the power come on any faster, and we still have gas to cook with, so I’ve chosen to see these blackouts, lasting only 30-60 minutes, as opportunities to sit quietly, go within and enjoy the peace and rest. I thoroughly enjoy not doing anything except sitting on my sofa with my puppies and cats when they’re asleep and cuddled up to me. Today I had my hand on Zoe, who is now too big for my lap, as she slept on the sofa. Ziggy has been cuddled up beside me with his paws resting on my leg; and my cat Sweetie stretched out on my lap and flaked out.  I simply sat, enjoy the warmth and companionship of my pets and, get this, DIDN’T FEEL GUILTY!

3.  I don’t own an iPad, iPhone or iPod nor have I used iTunes. And, in act of great daring and bravery, I have no intention of buying or using any of these.  I’m amazed at how addictive and anti-social they are. I don’t like the way in which Apple has created a throwaway system to boost its profits, i.e., always updating products so you throw away one which is perfectly good because hype says your sense of self-esteem is only maintained by having the latest product. I am sad that what used to be an innovative company has now morphed into a monopoly giant intent on stifling competition to boost its profits at the expensive of innovation. And, better and better, I don’t feel a scrap of guilt about not owning an Apple product. I try to keep my life simple and use products like mobile phones and computers as long as I can because I have seen the rubbish dumps in Nigeria where poor people get sick by working on breaking up the toxic dross from our throwaway mentality.

4. I can get the staples of life – Milo and Vegemite – from my local supermarket. Yeah, how good is life! Yes, yes, I know they’re not super-healthy foods but I like them and I’m fed up with all the conflicting health recommendations which change from day to day, month to month and year to year. I aim to eat a varied diet but I don’t feel guilty if I throw in a few supposedly unhealthy items.  I couldn’t care less about the food nazis, a little of what you really like does your heart and soul good and contributes far more to good health than nit-picking about what food goes in your mouth

5. I hardly ever watch TV.  When we arrived in North Cyprus, we didn’t have a television for a long time and we found we survived very nicely without it.  We got fed up with the dross that so often gets onto TV these days and found we did very well with the miserable, miserable news programmes. I do love reading and listening to music as they leave you feeling uplifted and

6. I am happy. We don’t have a lot of money, but we can pay our bills. I do have fibromyalgia and arthritis in the my spine which causes stiffness in my muscles and pain in my legs. But on balance, I have a regular, fixed income, the age pension, even though it’s not large; we own our home and car; we live simply and eat simply; I have my eyesight, sense of smell, a sense of hearing (although a bit run down now so I need hearing aids), my two arms and two legs; and my brain’s ticking over pretty well. I have managed to get 65 and when I see the misfortune that some suffer, often much younger than I am, I’m very, very happy to have got so far without any major mishaps. 

• Great battery life
• Very intuitive
• Great for learning
• iCloud makes school work more accessible
• Camera quality is out standing
• Super light and thin
• Lightning connector is very convenient
• Very reliable and consistent
• Simple, easy, and minimalistic
• Great build quality
• LTE is amazing
• Apps from the App Store are very reliable and stable
• Photostream is incredible
• The Retina display is fantastic

Now on the some cons:

• Very light and thin (almost feels like nothing)
• Very simple. Don’t plan on doing any customizing or “making it your own” on it
• Apple Maps….. We all know about Apple Maps
• The white and slate iPhone shows scratches to well
• The Black and Slate iPhone will chip on the edges, peeling the paint off
• iOS is not open source
• Apps on the App store are usually not free
• Tends to get a little warm at times

Overall, I would recommend the iPhone 5 to someone who doesn’t use their phone for very much. For someone who is in school and uses Apple computers. For someone who cares about aesthetics and brand names. I would not recommend this phone for someone who is rough on phones, uses their phone for everything, or for someone who wants to make it their own.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment or add.

Yes….two blogs in one day. Such a deal. But I just had to sneak this one in because it excited me so much.

Ya know, I’ve tried over and over again to get people to donate to this blog. But, as usual, everyone ignores me. But, that said, I stumbled upon a sure-fire way to perhaps get some of you to make a donation. Nudity.

HEY!…..It works on eBay.

Yep, a woman from Oxfordshire, England is racking in the bucks after accidentally exposing herself on eBay, and then, becoming an overnight celebrity. Go figure!

The woman, who’s eBay username is, (get this) “sugartit_2″, which I’m not gonna touch with a ten foot pole, although I might consider a toothpick, is behind the partially naked eBay seller photo.

It happened like this. She uploaded a photo of a dress that she wanted to sell and listed the item at $25.44. No problem. But…..she failed to see that when she took the photo of the dress that she was also in the photo standing there in her sexy black bra. Obviously a very clever ploy to get everyone on eBay to notice the dress she was selling.

(Notice the strategically placed “eBay” logo covering up what obviously is some other item she may be selling. Perhaps mufflers or something)

Um…..how much for the bra baybeeeee?

“Dress…..what dress? She was selling a dress?…..(pant.”)

Of course she discovered this foo-par AFTER posting the photo. I, for the life of me can’t figure that one out. What part of, “I just posted a photo of my dress on eBay and I’m now reviewing my post before I post it but I can’t see anything wrong with the photo” did she not get?

Like the fact that she’s standing there in her black bra and no panties. DUH!

She commented. “It’s so embarrassing. It is such a dizzy, stupid thing to do and now the whole world’s seen me nude. I put it on eBay last Saturday morning and realized straight away so ended the sale. But what I didn’t realize was that people could still see it on the site. I reported it to eBay and they took it down, but by then it had gone viral. My boyfriend Andy thinks the whole thing is hilarious.”

Yeah, I bet he does. How about taking a pic of your boyfriend with his doo dad hangin’ out and posting it on eBay while you’re selling a garden hose and see if HE thinks it’s hilarious.

Then again, ya might sell a lot of garden hoses.

Now what do ya think she would have gotten for this dress? If you said probably the $25 bucks she listed it for, guess what. She got $245,334!!!!!!!!!!  YES!  We’re talkin’ thousands of freakin’ dollars here folks. WTF!

Does it take nudity to sell something you can buy at “J. C. Penny” for $25 bucks and resell it for a few thousand dollars on eBay? Apparently YES! As long as you’re pitching your item while naked.

Maybe that’s what I need to do when asking for donations on my blog site. Post a damn naked picture of myself. HEY! If it works on eBay, why not on my blog site.

The only problem here is that I don’t really have any sexy lingerie that I could wear while asking for a donation. Damn Anthony Wiener already used up the “big bulge” ploy when he posted his ding-dong in a neat set of “Fruit of the Looms”. Too bad he didn’t tweet that on eBay rather than Twitter. He could have made a few thousand bucks.

You may recall that a few months ago I attempted to sell a potato chip that was shaped like the “Apple” computer logo. I thought for sure I’d make millions on that one. Needless to say, I didn’t. Um, I still have it stored in an old Tupperware container if anyone’s interested. Or, I may just repost it on eBay with a photo of me holding it just above my naval. ya never know.

Ok…so here’s the deal. Ya don’t wanna donate to this blog. FINE!  But, what item would it take for me to make a few thousand dollars on eBay selling something if I took a photo of the item while mooning you or photographed it while splayed across my he man chest.

I’m open to any suggestions here. I’m desperate folks. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And in light of this girl making over two thousand dollars selling a dress because she accidentally included her half-naked picture in the listing, I’m ready for the challenge.

Whaddya want me to sell on eBay? A pair of my jeans as I’m getting out of them? A MisfitWisdom T-shirt while I’m taking it off? One of my other half’s bras while I’m kidding around with it using it as a pair of ear muffs? My authentic “Hanes” jockey shorts, (worn several hundred times) in Anthony Wiener fashion? My “NIKE” socks with just a glimpse of cute little toes? Or my official “Boston Red Sox” MisfitWisdom baseball cap as depicted in my “DILLIGARA” header? WHAT!  What will it take?

eBay item: . T-Shirt

MW Photo shirt

MW DILLIGARA shirt

Classic MW Hanes jockeys.

The ever popular Boston Red Sox MisfitWisdom daily attire baseball cap.

Keep in mind that most likely I would never receive any bids from men if I so much as post any suggestive MisfitWisdom photos while selling any of those items on eBay. So ladies, this is your moment.

Um….ya also might wanna keep in mind that I’m 70. BUT….a verrrrry sexy in good shape 70. Just sayin.’

So eBay bidders. What’s it gonna be? I’m up for the challenge. Ya gonna let some woman from England top ol Misfit?  Are ya punks?

(Disclaimer) Should I actually take up this challenge, pose naked, semi naked, half-naked or somewhat disguised as naked, I cannot be held responsible for anyone becoming nauseous. Should I actually receive thousands of dollars from someone bidding on whatever it is I list on eBay, I will deep six my donate link forever as I will no longer need it because I’ll be residing on a remote island somewhere writing blogs about the ocean and scenery.

Soooo…….let’s see where this goes. Comments and suggestions, (dares to post on eBay) can be made in the comments section of today’s blog)

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link, which will be obsolete if I make a few thousand dollars on eBay, is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and paste the link into your browser to get to the PayPal site. OK eBay bidders….the ball is in your court.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=KXG9G95RHTQW2

Donations to this stupid blog since January 2009 AD…….( 1 )

Copyright 2013 MisfitWisdom RLV

DILLIGARA Header: chickart@cox.net

Yep that’s the look of a rather angry and frustrated man. How come? Well if the last posting was about lots of people using technology to make even the most powerful brands in the world sit up and change their practices, then this post’s about one man using technology which fails on him. Big time. Something of a recurring theme in my life.

Yes the other night my beautiful  Apple Mac desk top which contains all my work files, personal data, music collection and 100′s of irreplaceable family pictures etc crashed on me. And of course none of it is backed up (we’ve been meaning to do it for ooh at least 5 years now). I called Apple support, it cost me £35 to speak to a guy, and he did try to help. Reckoning it was a hard-drive failure or software crash he resolved to fix the latter problem first by asking me to find the long lost software disc used to install the original software. Having found it, miraculously, I started the upload process and 25 minutes in it suddenly decided it couldn’t read the disc any more. After cleaning it carefully and re-starting the process 3 more times the machine gives out the Mac equivalent of a death scream and shuts down. The Apple guy told me I had a big memory problem and then he……er…oh yeh  booked me into the Apple store for a consult with the genius guys on Thursday. I just hope they live up to their bloody description.

You know what I was doing to cause this disaster? Typing a letter to my poor mum who’s unable to take my calls any longer because of her stroke. Sigh. Having recovered some calm I reconnected my laptop up to the printer and various other devices and after getting through all my work messages etc, had another crack at doing the letter to my folks. All completed I pressed the printer button, waited patiently for it to kick into action and smiled contentedly as the first page starting rolling out of the feeder tray. And then after half a page the print started to disappear. The ink had run out. Sigh. Why is it always me not Mario?

So today I headed out to get some replacement cartridges and 36 hours after starting it, finally got my letter finished and posted off. I could have written it by hand in half an hour. What is the point of modern technology if it causes this much pain eh? Can’t live without it (apparently) and living with it is like being married to Annie Wilkes in Misery. It’s bloody crippling at times.

pp

Michael Jackson and I not only decided to make a film of Charlotte’s Web, but also “Stuart Little”.  Of course, the latter inspired the music video for Puss N’Boots that I wrote and recorded by Stuart Goddard (a.k.a. Adam Ant).

While working on script ideas for the film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, we named a character Garth Volbeck (the surname later inspiration for the Pokémon character and band name Volbeat) for the illustrator of Charlotte’s Web, Garth Williams.  I would also later give the stage name of Garth Brooks to an artist.

While working with Nicolas Cage, I told him about the Queen of England claiming Ian Fleming was a “National Treasure”.  He decided to use the name of “Charlotte” for the Colonial ship trapped in Arctic ice in the 2004 film National Treasure which he starred in.

I was later inspired to write the song “Little Things” by the title “Stuart Little”.

Windows Blue, if it’s real, will come in mid-2013 and I have been hearing great rumours about it, among which is the price tag which I hear is free. I don’t think Microsoft is going to give away their operating systems for free after decades of software dominance but if they will it’s going to be a hell of a good time for many computer users. While I doubt many Mac users will automatically switch it is an incentive and Windows Blue, a rumour only brought forward by TheVerge.com can sink, or swim. I’ve heard though that we Windows users will continue to see the start menu and start button absent from the OS despite millions of PC users wanting it back. I can’t wait to hear confirmation or denial from the big company itself, Microsoft.

I only 100% trust them [Microsoft] and I hope it’s true, I’m praying because of how much Windows 8 sucks. I want to see more graphics and a better user interface. It’s not fair that we have to settle for mediocrity, especially from a lackluster OS whose praises were sung early in the game and the hype it created by its creators which was just ridiculous and very flawed. I think Microsoft’s express bus lost a wheel or two when they said Windows 8 is revolutionary and great. Truth is it is revolutionary but not in a good way and now they are even rumoured to have said it’s doing very well and practically flying off shelves. Truth is that it’s a bomb and will fade out quicker than Windows Vista ever could. Goodbye Windows 8 and hopefully hello Windows Blue in 2013!

Here’s an excerpt, to encourage you to read the whole thing:  “One of the proudest boasts of Jobs’ life – indeed, one that took up a third of his famous Stanford commencement speech – was bringing well-designed typefaces to a desktop computer for the first time. “The Mac was the first computer with beautiful typography,” Jobs told students. That never would have been the case had he not audited a calligraphy course at Reed College after he dropped out.

“I learned about serif and san serif typefaces,” he said, “about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great.”

“I interviewed Jobs dozens of times in the 1990s and 2000s, enough to see that this kind of attention to detail wasn’t for show. His love of design was genuine, as was his ability to hit the roof when it fell short. He really did care about the tiniest of minutiae. This is a guy who burst into tears when it became clear that the first edition iMac would have to ship with a CD tray, and was only calmed by his team’s insistence that later versions would load disks into the machine without one.”

About the cover of the authorized biography of Steve Jobs, written by Walter Isaacson, Taylor says:  “Jobs left the content of the book to Isaacson, but he insisted on absolute control over its cover. He wanted it to look as spare and beautiful as an Apple product. He chose the typeface, a classic Helvetica, and dictated its size.”

Helvetica! Did you see Gary Hustwit’s documentary about the font, which has the one-word title,  Helvetica? It had several runs here in Montreal. It’s amusing and informative. Check it out, it you can.

Getty Images created this composite photo, comparing Steve Jobs, left, and Ashton Kutcher, in 2012. But Jobs is much older, balding, and bearded, (though his beard is quite short) and Kutcher is young and clean shaven. (Steve Jobs by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images,  Ashton Kutcher by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for the People’s Choice Awards)

But compare the younger Jobs in the photo at the top of this post, with this one of a bearded Kutcher, at the 2009 Sundance FilmFestival. It’s a passable likeness.  (Photo by Matt Carr/Getty Images) 

Through reading Chris Taylor’s post I was reminded that there are two films being made about Steve Jobs. jObs is directed by Joshua Michael Stern and stars Ashton Kutcher as Jobs. It will go into general release in April 2013.

The script for a film called Steve Jobs is being written by Aaron Sorkin, writer of TV shows The West Wing, The Newsroom, and the film The Social Network. No one has said who will be playing Steve Jobs in Sorkin’s film.

In regard to that script, The Guardian quotes Sorkin:  “This entire movie is going to be three scenes and three scenes only. That all take place in real time. There will be no time cuts and each will take place before a product launch. Backstage before a product launch. The first one being the Mac, the second one being NeXT, after he had left Apple. And the third one being the iPod.”

Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin speaks at a lectern sort of  like the one on The West Wing, at Syracuse University’s commencement ceremonies, May 13, 2012, in Syracuse, N.Y.  Sorkin earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts at Syracuse, and was give an honorary doctorate in Fine Arts at the commencement. (Photo by Nate Shron/Getty Images)

In a video interview with The Daily Beast, Sorkin says that Sorkin says no one is typical, everyone is flawed, and Jobs would not be worth writing about if he were not flawed. Sorkin says that he talked to many people who knew Jobs and that they revere him, even though he made all of them cry at some point.

You can watch the Daily Beast video of Sorkin here.

One of the coolest guys I have met in the hotel business is a guy named Mikos* who worked as the wine vendor at my South Florida hotel, Club Adriatic.*

Mikos hadn’t so much thrown out the playbook of scripted plays in life as much as I doubted that he had ever read them in the first place. Any time I was talking to any hotel guests in the restaurant willing to listen to my personal problems, I would always end the conversation the same way.

“Obviously I haven’t gotten the breaks in life, but I have managed to become one of three living Club Adriatic authors. In fact there is another one on the way. He is the wine vendor Mikos. If you’d like I can introduce him to you,” I’d say. I cleverly realized after the first month working there, that the guests might even consider me to be a fairly normal person after meeting Mikos.

Unlike most of the employees at Club Adriatic, Mikos had been with Club Adriatic since its heyday back in the 1970´s. His claim to fame was that he could drink a bottle of champagne under water while scuba diving.

“The title of my book is ´Free Soul´(still in the works) and you are welcome to come and read what I have written so far anytime you want,” Mikos said to me one day.

“Is it in English?” I asked.

“Yes, of course, I have a friend who will help me publish it who I met while working at a Casino in Reno,” responded Mikos.

I decided to take him up on his offer one night when I had nothing to do. Not only was his book about Club Adriatic but there were other parts about his car-jacking days in Eastern France.

¨As a driver (car thief), I was making enough money that I had multiple pairs of alligator shoes worth $2,000 each.¨

¨Did you ever have any problems with the law?¨

¨Yeah, eventually my mother turned me into the police one day after she discovered all the money in my bedroom. ´What is a 18-year old kid doing with $60,000 underneath his bed?´ she asked me one day. I tried to explain to her that I was exporting cars to Germany but she didn´t buy it. She turned me in to the local police the next day.  Since it was a time when France was at war with numerous countries in Africa, the judge struck a deal with me. He offered to eliminate my jail sentence if I agreed to be deployed on a two-year tour of the Congo. I didn´t really want to go to jail and I knew there would be people on the outside waiting for me when I got out so I decided to take the 2-year tour of the Congo. On the day I shipped out my mother drove me to the airport. There wasn´t much talking between us, the only thing she said to me during the entire trip was, ´Hopefully you are going to get what is coming to you.´

The biggest problem France was having down in the Congo was finding the Congo villages that were attacking the French forces and being able to locate them at night from overhead. So, it was my job to parachute over the uncharted parts of the Congo at night and light the flares where the villages were located so they could be bombed by French planes. On my second deployment I successfully positioned some flares and then waited in the pickup location for my team to be transported back to the base by helicopter. Once I arrived to the pickup spot I was surprised to see nobody on my team was there waiting to be picked up. So I just decided to wait. Many hours went by and finally when I woke up it was daytime. In the light of the morning I realized that I was just on the outskirts of a smoking village that had been bombed a few days previously. I knew what would happen to me if any survivors from the village found a French soldier sitting in a ditch. Also, I knew that if I ran away from the pickup spot it might be three weeks walk through hostile terrain to get out of the war zone.

I decided I only had two options: either stay and wait for the helicopter to come pick me up after they realized they had left me behind or shoot myself through the throat.  I sat there in that predicament with my toe on the trigger and my rifle pointed at just under my chin. During that time I thought about a bully from my neighborhood who I really wanted to beat up badly. I decided not to kill myself in order to be able to go back to my neighborhood one day and beat this guy up. I decided I should just bury myself in dirt and wait for the helicopter to come back. Two days later I heard the sound of a chopper over my head. I could hardly believe my luck. The chopper set down a few yards from my position. I threw down my weapon and ran towards the chopper. They picked me up and we started back to the base. While in the chopper, I noticed that there was a new officer in the chopper I hadn’t met before. I asked the pilot why they hadn’t waited for me the first time. He explained that during the first pickup, that this new officer who was visiting the operation was sitting in your seat in your seat during the pickup. (During such operations there is no need to count the people on board since there are always the same number of seats as there are the number of people being picked up, therefore they no all the men are in the plane when all the seats are filled). It was at this point that the officer approached me and apologized for the mix-up.”

“What did you say to him?” I asked.

“Nothing, when he got near to me I picked him up and threw him out of the helicopter.”

“Who was this bully that beat you up in France?”

“When I was a young boy in Alsace, France we had a neighbor whose house had been broken in to. The neighbor was so angry about being robbed he walked around the neighborhood looking for the person who had done it.”

Knowing that Mikos did get in a lot of trouble those days I asked if maybe he had something to do with the robbery.

“Are you joking, I was only 8 years old at the time, I couldn’t have been the one who broke into his house.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, the angry neighbor found me in a field alone and accused me of the crime. The more I pleaded my innocence the worse he beat me.”

“By the time I got back home I was bleeding pretty badly. I told my mom what had happened and she took me to the neighbor’s house as I was still bleeding.”

“Then what happened?”

“My mother asked the neighbor why he beat me and he said that little boys shouldn’t be by themselves alone. My mom was really poor at that time so instead of turning the neighbor in to the police she decided to take some money from him and not say anything.”

“So, did you ever find the guy after you got back from the Congo?”

“Yes, the first thing I did when I got back to France was to go to this guy’s house. I knocked on his door, mind you this is over 15 years later, and his wife answered the door. I told her that I was looking for her husband. She called him to the door. The first thing I said to him was, ‘I heard you like to pick on little boys.’ He of course played dumb so I then asked him if he recognized me. He said he didn’t. I then explained that I was the little 8 year old boy he beat up in the field 15 years ago. He then got scared. I could tell he was really scared because he told his wife to please call the neighbor. “

“Then what happened?”

“I grabbed the guy and beat him for 20 minutes.”

“Who is the guy in Reno who is going to help you publish your book?”

“When I was working for a hotel in Reno I met a rich guy who was running a bar near Tahoe. One day I was sitting at his bar after work late at night. The bar was actually closed at the time and the owner was cleaning up in the back while I was sitting at the bar. While sitting at the bar I was having a beer and looking up at the wall of different bottles of whiskey. The next thing I know one of the bottles bops a hole in it and starts discharging whiskey onto the ground. I thought to myself, ‘That was strange.’ After a few seconds I look around and notice that there are other bottles that have sprung holes and are leaking on the floor. I then get off my bar stool and walk to the back to talk to the owner about the whiskey bottles. Once the owner comes out from the back and I show him the broken bottles, he immediately tells me to hit the floor. While on the ground he tell me that his bar has just been the victim of a drive by shooting.  Luckily the shooters didn’t come back that night. Just as a precaution I went back to my house, got some firearms, and stayed with him at the bar for the rest of the night. Since that night he has said that whatever I need I can count on him.”

“Do you think this guy knows a publisher?”

“He is the owner of the most popular bar in Tahoe, he knows every rich guy in the country. He can surely find me a publisher. By the way Brian, tonight is my last night in Club Adriatic, I have been offered a job in Hawaii that I am going to be taking. Do you want to meet for dinner tonight at 8 pm in the restaurant?”

I couldn’t think of anyone short of Pauly Shore himself I would rather have dinner with. “Yes please,” I responded.

I arrived a little earlier than 8 pm and found a seat in the back of the restaurant. Luckily it was a table which had the parents of a hotel employee already sitting at the table. I introduced myself and asked if I could have dinner with them.

“Sure Brian, have a seat Andrea will be here soon. Perfect, I also am waiting for someone.”

We started on our meals and a few minutes later Mikos and Andrea were both sitting with us.

“So, have you guys met Mikos? He used to work in Hawaii at Steve Jobs’ favorite hotel.”

Andrea’s parents had no idea of what to make of my comment so they just looked over at Andrea.

“Sometimes Brian’s stories are larger than life,” Replied Andrea.

“You don’t believe me, ask him.”

The attention then focused squarely on Mikos. “Yes it is true, I used to be in charge of room service at a hotel where Steve Jobs would stay at frequently.”

“Really, what was it like meeting Steve Jobs.”

“Well, actually all the employees at the hotel had to sign a waiver saying they wouldn’t discuss his medical condition.”

“What?”

“We actually knew he had cancer many years before he died. He chose our small hotel because we were one of the few hotels that grew our own organic vegetables.”

“Did you ever talk to him?”

“Yeah, one day he was on the beach in a reclining beach chair alone. I knew that at the time he was in the process of his next big invention. While seated I approached him about an idea for a new underwater mp3 player. ‘Mr.  Jobs, I am a scuba diver here in Hawaii and I have always wanted Apple to invent an underwater iPod player that can be used at 200 meters below sea level.’”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing he just gave a look like he was staring right through me.”

“Did he ever invent the Scuba iPod player?”

“No, but a few years later the iPhone came out and saved his company. I was one of the few people who was on the ground floor with him throwing ideas around to help inspire him. Would you guys like some champagne?”

“We have plenty of wine here.”

“No offense, but I don’t drink this Bulgarian table wine. I will be right back.”

By the time Mikos got back we had all finished with our meals.

“I just grabbed this bottle of Champagne but am a little nervous about the restaurant boss seeing me open the bottle here in the restaurant. We should go in the back on the restaurant to drink it.”

“I have to go to work early tomorrow, I will get some rest,” responded Andrea.

The four of us then walked to the rear part of the restaurant. When we got back there Mikos realized that we didn’t have a wine bottle opener.

“Let me show you a trick I learned as a French Paratrooper.”

Mikos grabbed a knife and started scraping off the seal around the tip of the bottle.

“The trick is to find the weakest part of the bottle.” He then rolled the bottle over exposing the weld mark where the bottle was sealed together from two half bottles. “This is the weakest part of the bottle. Now all you have to do is run a knife quickly over the weld and you can sheer off the entire upper part of the bottle.”

Mikos then ran the knife over the weld until it reached the nozzle of the champagne bottle and took the entire nozzle off, cork and all.

He then poured us each a glass of champagne.

“Do you guys want to know how to fend off a wild dog attack? “

Mikos was great at anticipating guests needs.

“Well, let me tell you. You have three options. The first option to hold out your forearm and let him latch on to your arm. “ He set down his drink and took Andrea’s mom’s arm and positioned it in front on her body, bent at elbow in front of her throat. “When you are in a fight with a wild coyote the most important part of your body to guard is the throat. Once the coyote goes for your throat, you will throw up your forearm in the coyote’s path. Once the coyote latches on to your forearm you have three options. #1) Grab the tail of the coyote and give him a back breaker over your knee…

“But I love animals! “ replied Andrea’s mom.

“We are talking about a life and death situation here. I am not asking you to go out and attack a baby coyote, we are talking about a 80 pound machine with sharp teeth and claws, this is for self-protection. #2) Once the coyote has latched on you make a fist and drive the coyote’s nose into his….

Andrea’s mom and dad went to bed before finishing their champagne or hearing the #2 and #3 ways to survive a wild coyote attack. After Mikos finished his champagne he grabbed the beheaded champagne bottle and surveyed the area to find the best place to stashed a champagne bottle that wouldn’t be noticed the next morning until he could properly hide the evidence.  Before going home Mikos let me keep the head of the sheared off nozzle as a memento of his last night in Club Adriatic.

*Mikos’ real name isn’t Mikos (The same goes for Club Adriatic).  The names been changed to protect this author from a costly lawsuit

1.   CLOUD COMPUTING–   Many experts say one of the most definitive signs of post-PC arrival is the increase in the number of cloud computing services.  Using a web site or a program installed on a computer, a cloud offloads the labor of running an application from the user’s computer to a server to which they connect, usually via the Internet.   The benefits of cloud services include reduced demand on the user’s own computer hardware, automatically updated content and the ability to access files across multiple devices; i.e. PC, smart phone, tablet—anywhere there is an online connection.    Via the cloud, users can manage event calendars between devices, continue streaming a film on a smart TV they started on their tablet or upload and share pictures between a smart phone and a PC. 
2. PC SALES SLUMP—This year has been really tough for PC manufacturers.  The Associated Press reported that third quarter global PC sales fell by about eight point five (8.5) percent.   For the same period, DELL reported a forty-seven (47) percent drop in sales.  Hewlett-Packard realized an 8.9 billion dollar loss which was the worst in the company’s seventy-three year history.  In its October report, International Data Corporation predicted PC shipments in 2012 will represent the first annual decline since 2001.  Most industry analysts blame the sluggish sales, in part, to rising popularity of tablets and smart phones.   During the third quarter of this year, worldwide tablet and smart phone sales rose by forty-three (43) and forty-seven (47) percent respectively from 2011. 
3. CONVERGENCE—With the approach of the post-PC era, the line between a desktop PC and other devices is becoming increasingly blurry.   Traditionally, the computing experience was tied to a single location in the home—wherever the computer was.  In the post-PC era, a similar experience can be had on multiple devices, from an Internet-connected TV in the family room to a smart phone in a pocket.  The PC now lives in many places.  It does not stay anchored to the kitchen table or desk located in an office.
4. NO MORE DISCS—After decades of delivering content to computer users via floppy discs, CDs, DVDs, and other physical media, many companies now are starting to rely exclusively on digital channels.  As a result, manufacturers are beginning to remove physical drives from their latest computers. .  Removal of the outmoded floppy disc drive from the original iMac in 1998 signaled the writing on the wall.
5. JUST A TOUCH—For decades, the only means of navigating a computer was keyboard and pointer devices such as a mouse or a touchpad.  With the shift to the post-PC era, users now have ten more options—their fingers.   Although Windows 8 still can be navigated using a mouse and a keyboard, the announcement of a shift to a touch-based interface led hardware manufacturers to install touch screens in  many of the recently released Windows 8 equipped desktop PCs and notebooks. 

I personally don’t think the PC will completely exit the scene because of the ease in using a keyboard and mouse.  We are accustomed to these devices and thousands upon thousands of people, on a daily basis, accomplish data entry quickly and with more accuracy as a result of their existence.  Think of reservations clerks working for airlines, hotels, concert halls; medical practitioners’ logging test results into a data base; school administrators updating student records, etc.  Keyboards facilitate ease and speed when these processes become necessary; STILL, I do agree, we will see more and more mobility when the need to access existing data bases becomes necessary.  Just a thought. 

A best bet is the new Apple iMac Intel Ivy Bridge Core i7 3.4GHz 27″ Desktop for $2,949. In cart, it falls to $2,835.96. With $23 for shipping, that’s the lowest total price we’ve seen for an iMac desktop with a 3TB hard drive. (It’s a current low by $514.) It features an Intel Core i7-3770 3.4GHz Ivy Bridge quad-core processor, 32GB RAM, 3TB Fusion Drive, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 680MX 2GB graphics card, AirPort Extreme (802.11n), two Thunderbolt ports, FaceTime HD camera, Bluetooth 4.0, Gigabit Ethernet, Magic Mouse, wireless keyboard, and OS X Mountain Lion.

Of note, this desktop is expected to ship in six to eight weeks.

http://www.StockMarketFunding.com Apple Computers Options Trading Expiration Weekly Analysis Apple Computers Options Trading Expiration 250 call vs 250 Puts…

My parents taught me to read the Bible, and at youth group sessions, when we had “sword drills,” I was the fastest to find the called-out reference, because I was a reader. My sister and I were fascinated by tales we read in fairy books, and as we washed and dried the dishes from our evening meal, we acted them out, and then we made up our own stories. I don’t think I wrote any of them down, but if I could read them now I would probably see they strongly resemble something I had previously read. Every year from the school library, I checked out The Boxcar Children, and all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and that biographical series of Great Americans–orange and green colored, they were. One of our neighbors had every one of the Hardy Boys and the Nancy Drew books and she let me read all of them.

As I grew older I read newspapers and magazines and learned of such a fabulous thing as a thesaurus. And now, I read the computer. Oh, I still read books and magazines and newspapers, but there is nothing quite like a computer. I read the news, gossip, weather prognosticators, events taking place here in my mountains, church news, live streaming of church services, YouTube, concerts, hear from some of my kids and some of my friends, learn things, study how to write books, load my digital pictures from my camera, process them with Lightroom, study photography and understand how hard it is, write articles, write books, edit my novel The Soul of Abram Clark, learn about publishing and agents and fuss about in forums, and find recipes. I keep track of our personal banking. I “talk” to people around the world, post pictures for friends and am encouraged by sweet remarks from friends on Facebook, and hope to encourage them a bit. I make travel reservations, pull up our tax bill when I don’t receive a paper one, utilize Mapquest, and just yesterday I found the location of the nearest Subway to the Lighthouse Theatre in Redlands, then emailed the address to Holly and to Rebecca, for we will snack there on Saturday before we attend a performance of Miracle on 34th Street. And get this–right down at the bottom of my sweet Apple is a thesaurus. Amazing thing. I tweet. I blog. I learn of life . . . and I learn of death.

I suspect I am still a bookworm, and sometimes people say, “Shirley, I don’t know how you can stare at that screen so much.” Sometimes I hide, although it’s a bit harder with a computer than with a book and a flashlight.

________

How about you? Are you a bookworm? Your face always stuck in a screen or a book or in a Kindle? I’d like to hear from you.

Which image is the doubly wrong picture?

There will be no meetings at Solution Inc. in December, which is why the next planned meeting will be on January 15th 2013, be there for a 6.15pm/18.15hrs start.

There are no plans at the moment for the evening, but I’m sure there will be lots of new goodies to look at and discuss following the festivities we have yet to experience!

So come along and talk and enjoy Apple based products with you both in January and every month of 2013, in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere in our central Guildford location. There will be plenty of time to discuss any or all aspects of your Mac-Life either with other SurreyMUG members, together with the Solutions Inc. team over biscuits, tea or coffee.

Don’t be scared if you haven’t been before, we not have more capacity to accommodate many more visitors or new members. First-timers’ can take time to look around our meeting place at Solutions Inc., Guildford.

If you plan to be at our next meeting, it would be helpful to us if you could use the contact form on the Forum page, so we can plan the refreshments and numbers within the space.

Afterwards, some of us adjourn for supper, refreshments and continued discussions.

>>> Also take a close look at the right-hand image which I have put together. To set you all a little unprized quiz. A competition just for fun, see if you can spot the image that is doubly wrong in the stack on the right? Please send your answers via email to me, and I will give you the answer at January’s meeting or in the February’s meeting post.

——————–

Meeting at: Solutions Inc., 27 Friary Street, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 4EH, located in pedestrian walkway, between the bottom of the High Street and North Street, alongside the River Wey.

Afterwards at Nuro Kebab House, 11 Epsom Road, Guildford GU1 3JT Tel. 01483 534780

From the SurreyMUG Team

It was still the ’80′s and cassette tapes were the norm.  The artists would bring in a Walkman for me to listen to some of our work in progress.  I also wanted to improve on the Walkman to where sound files could also be loaded.  They asked me what I wanted to name the device and called it an “iPod”.

At the same time I named the “iPOD”, I decided to name a band P.O.D., both names of which were inspired by Mork’s “egg” pod from the television series Mork & Mindy.  I remembered someone telling me of the young actor Corey Feldman appearing on an episode of Mork & Mindy as Billy who wants to be like his namesake Billy the Kid.  Feldman would go on to appear in the vampire film “The Lost Boys”, which Michael Hutchence worked on script ideas and contributed to the soundtrack.  We would later come up with P.O.D. standing for Payable on Death.

Among the songs I wrote the band would record are “Alive“, ”Youth of the Nation“, ”Boom“, and Satellite.

February 10, 2012
Apple, Accustomed to Profits and Praise, Faces Outcry for Labor Practices at Chinese Factories
http://www.democracynow.org/2012/2/10/apple_accustomed_to_profits_and_praise

This American Life 460: Retraction, March 15, 2012
(re Mike Daisey’s story on FoxConn)
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/460/retraction

With the great reviews BB10 is getting (see here in IT World Canada and here in The Register), maybe we need to add a fourth ecosystem to our little dioramas.

Jonathan Gladstone is alwaysgrumpy at jbglad59@sympatico.ca or follow me on Twitter @jbglad59.

With the tough economic times affecting my family for the past four years, frustration with Apple Inc. set in when I visited the Apple Store and looked over their computers.  The lowest price laptop with a large hard drive and a 13-inch screen was $1,200.  The 500GB  hard drive was too small and the 4GB of RAM just barely enough.   To get 750GB hard drive and 8GB of RAM was going to cost $1.500.  Maybe I could upgrade the laptop computer myself.  The salesperson at the Apple Store told me that Apple was doing everything possible to prevent me from doing so–the sleek cases were making any upgrades more and more difficult, if not impossible.  The moral of the story–Apple wants you to spend the money upfront, but what if you do not have the money?

Maybe I could forgo a laptop, since my college was planning to give me one.  However, I still needed my own computer.  The college only allows software it purchases on its computers, and that does not include the Adobe products I use to produce content for my online courses.  My computer has to be a production machine that I can add or delete programs at will.  Since I would have a laptop to interact with my online students, a desktop machine was now a possible choice so I walked over to the few desktops that Apple sells.  The Mac Pro starts at $2,000, so I quickly turned away.  I studied the Mac minis for a few minutes, which are under a $1,000, but they are not upgradable at all, and I would have to supply my own monitor, keyboard, and mouse.

A deep sadness overcame me at the store as I realized that Macs were for the well-to-to-do.  Apple makes no effort to sell to the majority of people who are struggling to make ends meet.  They make high profit margins on what they sell, and they don’t care if you can’t afford it.

I left the store promising myself that unless Apple changes its ways in the future, I would never purchase a Mac again.

For the first time, I had to do serious research for a Windows PC.  My objective was not to get the sleekest and prettiest computer, but a reliable and functional machine that would be upgradable.  I was surprised that Windows laptops with the same specs internally as the $1,200 MacBook were on sale for about $500.  Since I already would have a laptop for basic mobile computing, I checked out the desktops, and I was shocked at the variety of machines and the low prices.  After reading reviews and asking tech people at work, I decided to purchase an ASUS desktop computer.  For $700, I bought a computer with the following specs:

• Processor: i7 3770 3.4 ghz (four cores and four hyperthreading cores)
• RAM: 8gb running at 1600mhz.
• Hard Drive: 1 TB at 7200rpm
• Video: Intel 4000 integrated graphics.

After reading graphic card performance reports, I decided against a dedicated graphics card.  The only game I play on my computer is chess.  The Intel 4000 integrated graphics is enough power to satisfy my work needs.  If I do want to install a graphics card, I can do so.  A high powered card will require that I replace the power supply.  Nonetheless, for another $200, I could create a very nice gaming machine and still keep the total for the computer under $1000.

The processor is 10 times faster than the Apple computer it replaced, and nearly three times faster than the new Apple’s minis or the $1,200 MacBook laptops. Most important of all, everything on the machine is upgradable and easily assessable.

After using the computer for 6 weeks, I have not had any problems.

No student or faculty should be afraid to switch from an Apple computer to a Windows PC machine.  In fact, I found the switch to be very financially and technologically satisfying.  My computer may not be as pretty, but it is less than half the price and several times more powerful.  The quality on the ASUS computer is excellent, as all the reviews had mentioned.

Switching operating systems is a little more complicated, but nothing to be scared of.  I will address that issue in my next post.

If you cannot afford Apple’s prices, there are viable options out there for you.  Chances are that you’ll be like me, and not look back with any regret.