I am a self-diagnosed Aspie.* One of the ways this has tended to manifest itself in my life is my big mouth. “Authority” was only meaningful to me if the person in charge demonstrated to my satisfaction that they knew better than I did; if they couldn’t do that, it didn’t matter who or what they claimed to be, obedience and agreement were no longer guaranteed. 1,046 more words
This morning, I was up as per usual, but something was off. I was bouncing everywhere, my speech was childish, and I would giggle randomly to myself. I knew I needed to get ready for school, but all I wanted to do was run and bounce off of walls. It was strange, like my Asperger Syndrome setting had been turned up. When I got to school, I sat in the corner of the common room, earphones in, music blaring, fascinated at just watching peoples’ hand gestures and faces. I didn’t understand them at all, but they looked so funny when they waved their hands around with no point being made, I couldn’t help but laugh. I had a free period this morning, and I was somehow drawn to the sink in the common room, where I turned on the warm tap, and watched the water, occasionally flicking my hands through it, and running it over my fingers. Usually I would never do this in school, but today it was fascinating, and I was alone, so I saw no harm in it. In Art, I drew several figures in a really sketchy and expressive way, compared with my usual meticulous style. I just couldn’t keep still! Later, a classmate needed a hand with painting a huge piece of board white, a task which I fell upon with relish! I poured a massive blob of paint onto it, and proceeded to cover the whole area of board with it. I repetitive, sweeping movements with the paintbrush was relaxing, but was inefficient, so eventually a roller was found, despite my discouragement of this plan. I sulked for a while, until I eventually decided I really liked the sound of the roller (it sounds crackly when you roll paint on really thickly), and soon I was back to the task with as much enthusiasm as before! Break-time was less enjoyable, I found all the people around me seemed to press to close, I wanted to be sick every time someone brushed past me, and all the conversations mixing together made my head spin. I eventually had to retreat back to the art department, where I spent the time with my earphones in, sketching more figures. I’m still unsure as to what causes days like this. They can be entertaining, but I can really struggle keeping myself under control in situations where I normally wouldn’t. It goes to show that the range of situations I can deal with like a ‘normal’ person, are affected by external forces I am often unaware of. I know that stress is one, but sometimes, it’s a mystery.