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Võiks ju mõelda, et kui isand Johnny To võtab vaevaks produtsendiks hakata, siis pole vaja kahelda, et film tasub vaaatamist. PÖFFil näeb seda filmi üsna pea programmi raames “Päike tõuseb idast” ja eks igaüks saab ise vaadata, kui huvi on. HK kino mitmekesisus on mingis mõttes üsna kaheldav väide, sest valdav osa on tegevust täispakitud relva v käsitsivõitluse tander, kuid loomulikult ei kehti see kõige kohta. Leides filmi pigem nime alt Assassins kui Accident, siis olingi ootel trilleri mõiste unustuses ja action mõiste puudumisel ikka pigem hoogsast ja süsteemsest etteastest kui aeglase paranoia ekraanile kandmisest. Peale mõningast süvenemist sai siiski selgeks, et tempot siit ei tule ja potentsiaalsed põnevad peategelased Aju, Vanamees, Paksuke ja Naine meile mingit meeskonnatööd näidata ei suuda. Kes teab (st mina ei tea), aga paistis, et filmi eelarve kannatas välja ainult veidike algset tulevärki ja suri selle pingutuse peale kohe välja. Teoorias võib alati pakkuda, et nn tulevärk ja hoogsus polnudki filmi eesmärk ja põhiline oli minna Aju siserännaku teed.

Mis aga vastu räägib on see, et Aju oli üsna põdur, ega paistnud eriti aju moodi ning jooksis pidevalt kinni. Kui prillid eest ära võttis, siis polnud aju enam nähagi, lihtsalt kena näitleja. Kõik kahtlemata teavad sisukirjelduse järgi, et Vanamee aka Onu kaotab oma mälu ja siis hakkab kogu projekt logisema – või vähemalt nii leiame end nägemas kinomaagiat uskudes. Muidugi pole vaja siin sattuda paanikasse, sest iga meeskond on sama tugev, kui tema nõrgim lüli, seega polnud sel meeskonnal enam eriti kuhugi minna ka. Kuigi oleks võinud veidi pingutada, et see kaardimajake vähemalt näiliselt veidi kauem koos püsiks. Selge, et kui su töö on lavastada surma, siis varem v hiljem tekib segadus, mis on päriselt õnnetus ja mis lavastatud – kui asi sind ennast puudutama hakkab. Ja peategelane peabki seetõttu üksi välja mõtlema, kus läks valesti ja mis tegelikult toimub. Vaadatav, aga Johnny To nimega seda pigem ei seoks.

Yi ngoi

Enjoy

by ssjrem

As anyone who knows me even slightly well will know, my friends and I go to the movies way too often. The average American goes to the movies about five times a year. I’ve gone to movies 27 times this year and it will easily get over thirty by the time we hit 2010. Yeah, so I’ve spent over $230 at the movies this year. Holy shit….. this is exactly why my friends and I are all getting together and looking at all the movies coming out next year and discussing to them to see which ones are truly worth seeing. Spending $250 at the movies in a given year just seems fucking absurd to me. But we never really have anything else to do. I guess we’re kind of losers. Oh well.

My friends and I have seen several movies over the past few months that we thought were going to be terrible, but at least entertaining. Gamer and 2012 spring to mind immediately. Both of those were absolutely terrible. However, at least Gamer did have some cool parts to it and was slightly redeemable. So, in light of the recent garbage, Ninja Assassin was a gamble. And one that paid off tremendously. Plus, my one friend, who is kind of a dick a lot of the time *cough* Jason Tugend *cough*, absolutely hated it, so I get a sick satisfaction from the fact that he felt like he wasted his nine dollars whereas I felt as though my money was well spent. So, anyway, on to the review!

Ninja Assassin is a terrible movie. It was absolutely awful. Dreadful. I could go to a thesaurus and look up a shitload more words, but I’m pretty tired right now and I kind of just want to go to sleep. Anyway, yeah, it’s a terrible film, but I fucking loved it. Ninja Assassin doesn’t really have a plot to speak of, but it just doesn’t need one. A movie like this is sold on the action and the gore. So, it doesn’t really need a story and the fact that it utterly lacked one didn’t really bother me. Yes, it does try to tell some kind of story, but it just gets lost in the scramble of the frequent and prolonged action sequences.

That is where the movie shines. And that is the only good part. The plot, acting, script, all that stuff, fucking sucks. But the movie was still awesome. It doesn’t really even bother building any tension at all or build up any sort of mystique about ninjas. There’s a little intro and story from an old dude before ninjas come in and start fucking everything the fuck up. And then that’s the whole movie. Ninjas fucking things up. And getting fucked up. Ridiculous over the top action sequences that are choreographed extraordinarily well and really, really entertain. And then limbs and body parts and blood are just fucking flying everywhere. And then the main character is getting fucked up by the bad guy at the end, but then his woman gets killed, so he gets pissed and goes super saiyan and fucks shit up. It was epic. The movie has like three different final battles at the end, each more ridiculous than the last. And that’s just what this movie is. Absolutely ridiculous. We were just walking out of the theatre and none of us were saying anything, so I just broke the silence and said, “Well, I thought it was fucking awesome.” Dukemich agreed wholeheartedly. And my friend who will not be named *cough*Tugend*cough* hated it, which makes it even better.

So, would I recommend this movie? No, not really. Much like my one friend, I can really imagining a lot of people hating this movie. If you don’t like ludicrous and completely over the top action without any sort of plot or direction, then this is your movie. If you love gore, then this is your movie. If you love South Korean pop stars playing ninjas, then this is your movie. If you like quality entertainment, then stay the fuck away from this. I really, really, really enjoyed Ninja Assassin, but I understand that pretty much no one else will. And I’m okay with that. Hell, I enjoyed it enough that I might even fucking buy it when it comes out on DVD. It’s just a perfect example of a stupid, awful movie that I love despite all its numerous faults.

In the end, I give Ninja Assassin four chezes. It is in fact atrocious, but it accomplished exactly what it set it to do. Movies like this aren’t trying to win any Oscars or shit like that; they’re trying to be fucking ridiculous. And I loved it. But you, reader, would probably hate it. And I understand.

Sighhhhh….

Oh, Ninja Assassin. Could someone have made a movie more awesome than thou? (Thee?) You have ninja! And also assassins! You have Korean pop stars! (Who also spurned the hell out of Megan Fox, by the way, which makes them the most awesome pop stars ever. I really should have gone to the singular by this point. Whatever.)

Plus, his name is Rain and you have him standing in the rain! You know my love of a good pun/coincidence/whatever the hell that would be, Ninja Assassin!

You have glorious action sequences! I’m pretty sure something exploded! There’s more ninja! There’s more ninja.

I know the tagline says "Fear not the weapon but the hand that wields it," but a modified kusarigama is pretty scary.

What could possibly keep me from seeing this movie, other than wild horses and other catastrophes? (Like a tornado and there are wild horses in the tornado and also a house lands on me.)

What?

Oh, you brought in J. Michael Stracyzinski on the script and he finished revisions in 53 hours? Is that what he was doing instead of finishing some of the comic book series he keeps starting? Stop tempting me to boycott you, Ninja Assassin. You seem perfect in every respect otherwise!

What?

Oh, you’re produced by the Whatever their names are brothers? Who also produced Speed Racer? And, for some reason, cast Keanu Reeves as the lead in a trilogy of movies, leading millions of moviegoers to confuse his dead-eyed stare for the character’s dead-eyed stare and think he was actually acting or something? Those brothers?

For Christ's sake, people, that's NOT acting.

Damn you, Ninja Assassin. Stop telling me these things. I want to love you! I want to love you so much. I mean, you even have a character named “pretty ninja”! That’s my name! I mean, you know, when I cosplay or whatever. Or dream. Whatever.

Is there anything else you want to disappoint me with?

No?

Very well, then. Try to win my love back, why don’t you. Try to –

Oh, right. The action sequences.

Ahhh, the bare-handed sword catch. Always nice to see it in action.

I love you, Ninja Assassin. I want to be with you forever.

Love. It's always a surprise when it hits you like this. I forgive you your faults, Ninja Assassin. Please keep your shirt off.

Assassins Creed 2 contains some great ideas and is an excellent addition to the franchise. It feels more expansive and just overall larger than it’s predecessor. Most of all, the Storytelling is some of the most powerful I have seen in a game. Sure you see it coming from a mile away but the illusion of the likability of all the characters makes their story to powerful to end. Visually this game is superb, it captures all the aesthetic parts of italy from florence to Venice with such ar’e moire. The italian language that people keep speaking is frustrating if you do not put the subtitles on but for me it made the game all that much more believable. The Game has been expanded huge on the collectable part and everything feels like the Ocarina of Time…which isn’t a bad thing. It’s just epic. This is my game of the year, and I love it.

Bottom Line: Buy It!

This is my play through of the new game Assassin's Creed II for the Xbox 360 and PS3. … dsp darksydephil darksyde phil thekingofhatehd mission guide walkthrough play through this comedy PS3 PlayStation Xbox 360 Xbox 360 HD 720 High-Definition 720p AC2 Assassin's Creed assassin ii Ezio animus Italy Leonardo da Vinci Ubisoft Campaign

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg70J7cuLaw&hl=en

Assassin’s Creed is one of the year’s most anticipated games. It features Ezi Auditore de Firenze. He is the son of Giovanni Auditore, an assassin. This game takes place a few hundred years after the events of the first Assassin’s Creed.What starts the ball rolling in the story is when Ezio’s father, and two brothers are hung right in front of him. This drives him to thirst for vengeance and from then on you are a killing machine, gaining new weapons and armor as you go. You can even attain the legend, Altair’s sword and armor. It is up to you. Would you buy this game?

 Hooray! My second eShort, “Assassins,” went up at www.echelonpress.com. This time around, the short story is classified as an “Adventure” tale even though it is set in the future on a planet far, far away. And more than a science fiction adventure, this story could be classified as a Space Western!

Hmm. Does this mean I have a stagecoach rattling along a prairie trail? No, but I do have a bus driven by a reluctant hero rattling down that same prairie trail (only it’s on Konur Prime instead of in South Dakota or Kansas). Does that mean there’s a chase scene? Yes, and the get-away horse is a big-rig truck. Does that mean there’s a damsel in distress? Yes, she’s a failed genetically altered ”experiment” who is running for her life from an assassin with her pet singing opossum. There’s even a saloon and gambling establishment run by a red-headed woman. And I took the cover photo in Colorado at Garden of the Gods that stands in for The Canyons on Konur Prime.

A little more about Space Westerns. These stories take advantage of the character-types, challenges, and situations typically found in traditional westerns — only they take place in the future on frontier planets or “along the trail” between planets.  A recent example of a Space Western is the television series, “Firefly,” and its movie offspring, “Serenity.” But the spirit of the Space Western was really rejuvenated years ago by movies like ”Star Wars,” “Alien,” and the ”Star Treks.” For those interested in learning more about the genre, read the informative article on the subject by N.E. Lilly at www.spacewesterns.com While you’re there, you can check out a story of mine, “For the Good of the Settlement” (Archive story #25) or look at my comments about the genre in an article on writers published during the 1st year of the magazine’s existence.

Whether “Assassins” is called an adventure, science fiction tale, or space western — it’s a fun read. If you’re a writer — why not try and write one? And a note to you readers, ”Assassins” has a gun fight by the train tracks at the story’s end between the good guys and the bad guys! (But I’m not telling you who wins).

They arrived on Scott’s level, which she supposed was officially a sub-basement. Robert was breathing shallowly from the smell of mildew or perhaps anxiety. Glory put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. Officer Hart knows we came here, and I’m pretty sure that secretary would let him know we’d been here if something happened that we didn’t make it back to Sybar City.” He shivered, but she felt him relax a little under her hand.

A head popped out of an open doorway, scaring them both out of their wits. In the dimly flickering lights of the hall, they’d had no warning that anyone was nearby. Professor Scott shouted boisterously, “There you are! I was beginning to think you‘d gotten lost. The elevators may be old, but it doesn‘t take that long to get to the dungeon.”

“We, ah, took the stairs.” Glory replied, a little unsettled.

“Good lord, why? No one takes the stairs since they opened up the elevators to the student body,” he announced with some consternation, as if he’d been made to wait for an interminable amount of time.

“I’m sorry…” Glory replied more unnerved by his gregarious welcome than her surroundings. In the woods, he’d been cold to the point of arrogance with his students, despite the fact that they were risking life and limb by helping him in his mission. Suddenly he was the welcoming committee? Something didn’t sit right with her. Either he knew something or he wanted something, maybe both. “I’ve never been here before,” she announced as she approached, reminding herself that she hadn’t actually met the man and so should not let on that she knew anything about him. “Professor Scott, I presume?”

She held out her hand, which gave him pause. It was only the slightest of hesitations before he accepted it in a hearty handshake, but she marked it and his slight start when he noticed Robert trailing her. He gave the boy a quick look up and down before standing aside so they could enter his office. “My name is Glory Lewin, and this is my foster son, Robert.”

“Well… well, well… harrumph, well… What can I do for you folks today?” he asked finally, seemingly a little disappointed that she was not alone. He stepped around his over crowded desk to seat himself in a plush leather chair which had seen better days. The seam had split in many places along the top and the armrests to expose the ragged stuffing inside. The desk itself was a crazy topography of scholarship. Papers and books were piled in no discernable order and with barely any space where actual work might be done. The office itself was crammed with bookshelves on every wall and even one barely small enough to fit in the space beside the door. If it had been even a millimeter longer, her would not have been able to shut the door. Books, papers, and several artifacts were crammed into any available shelf without any attention to culture or creed. If not for the fact that she’d seen the man at his real work in the Jersey Pine Barrens, she might have been charmed by his obvious passion for research.

There were two additional chairs in the overcrowded room, but one of these was serving as another makeshift shelf. Glory was an old hand at moving stacks of books and papers without making an even bigger mess. Even as Professor Scott sputtered and began to stand in an attempt to move the mess himself, Glory swiftly lifted the entire mess in its entirety and set it on the floor without losing a paper or displacing a book. He gave her an appraising look as he sat back in his chair, seemingly uncertain as to whether he should be impressed or disgruntled that she had touched his precious books.

“Let’s be frank, Professor,” she announced as she sat, offering the other chair to Robert. “I have every reason to believe that one of your people tried to kill me yesterday.” The professor sputtered in surprise, and she couldn’t tell if it was honest or feigned. “This isn’t the first run in I’ve had with your colleague, but it’s certainly the first time he’s taken a shot at me.”

“Just- just who do you think we are here? Ms Lewin, this is an academic institution, not a… an assassin training facility or some such nonsense. And -and if you think that a crime has been committed, why not go to the police?”

Glory smiled grimly. “I do in fact have friends in the police department, and they were kind enough to take some of the bullets embedded in my building for ballistics. However, I also know something of what you people are up to here, and while I don’t entirely disapprove of your goals… I feel some of your recruits would be better off in an institution of an entirely different function.”

Professor Scott looked at her thoughtfully, giving Robert a sidelong glance as if trying to decide what could be said in front of the boy. “Jacoby could very easily have hit Robert when he was aiming at me. Anything you want to say to me, can be said in front of him. I do not believe that ignorance of danger is any kind of protection against it.”

“Indeed Ms Lewin, on that we are very much agreed.” He steepled his fingers, withdrawing into the grim man she’d first seen in the Pine Barrens, remote and calculating. She’d almost think he had a personality disorder, but she suspected the man before her now was the true Professor Scott. The other was merely the face he showed strangers. “Unfortunately, Jacoby is no longer with us, and we have no control over him. I’m surprised he went after you however. His wife and daughter have always been his priority. He must feel you are in some way connected to their disappearance.” It was a sly insult that Glory didn’t appreciate at all.

“I find that difficult to believe, but racists and madmen have seldom made much sense to me.” His insinuation was ignorant, but he winced at hers, his cheeks flushing with suppressed fury. A little too close to home, perhaps.

to Chapter 7, page 8

After a recent dialogue with a commenter on this ISSS, I have come up with a plan, which I shall tentatively call “The Plan of All Plans”. It may not be as good as “The Story of Stories”, but that’s another story. (Get it?)

Rather than telling you the point of this plan, however, I will simply start unfurling my plan, which I think is a shitload more exciting to read.

I want to play this RIGHT NOW

Step 1: Purchase an abandoned warehouse Steal an abandoned warehouse. Now I know I COULD just purchase an abandoned warehouse (in my imagination with imaginary dollars), but stealing it would be a lot more fun. I have two ways of doing this, either A) under the cover of darkness, fly in with a military helicopter that I paid off a pilot to ‘lose’ in the heat of combat and airlift it out to a discrete and private location, or B) just break in. Regardless, I KNOW I will have some help if I want to steal something as badass as stealing a warehouse.

Step 2: Get fashion designer Funky Matthew to design the interior of the abandoned warehouse to look like a shitty old basement that a serial killer/pedophile might have. This will not be hard, all he will probably have to do is put up a couple of Bill O’Reilly or Glen Beck posters.

Step 3: Infiltrate a bodyguarding company that caters to celebrities. Pretend to work there for a month until people mentally accept the fact that you work there.

Step 4: Befriend a large and jovial black bodyguard. Ask for information regarding Target R, and eventually pay him off to provide a 30 second slip in coverage of Target R in which the following steps can take place.

Step 5: Talk to your friendly assassin for hire. You will probably not even need to pay him, because he will want to do it for fun. Although he doesn’t get to kill Target R, he will get to hold him up (with a crossbow) in order to kidnap him, and this will be good enough.

Step 6: Have assassin break into a corporation and kidnap Target R, bringing him to the top of the building, at which point the military helicopter returns and airlifts both of them. This reminds me, I forgot Step 5A: Befriend Quentin Tarantino, and pay him to call in Target R for talks. They should meet at a pre-determined skyscraper/corporation building.

Step 7: Bring Target R (blindfolded of course) into the warehouse, and introduce him (if you’re paying attention, this is the first time you know it’s a he) to the shitty beatmaking equipment he will now be working on (under penalty of death).

Step 8: Allow Target R to work his magic, and bring beats to Target W.

Step 9: Become a Musical Executive

Step 10: Sign Target W. Influence their decisions by subliminal messaging (playing my advice repeatedly on a tape player in their rooms while they are sleeping). Pretend they came up with the idea themselves.

Step 11: Release the album.

Step 12: Release Target R.

COMPLETION.

I would have put the image from the end of the level, but I couldn't find it anywhere

Now my plan might still seem hazy, but now that I unfurled my whole plan, I will explain everything (like they do at the end of The Sting, a NASTY MOVIE).

Target R – The RZA

Target W – The rest of the Wu-Tang Clan

My plan is to kidnap The RZA, put him back in a shitty basement with shitty equipment like he was at the start of his career, force him to make NASTY gritty sounding beats instead of the glossy, hollywood-sounding piffle (I just wanted to use the word piffle) he has been making recently. By integrating the threat of a serial killer/pedophile/Fox News watcher, he will be scared shitless, undoubtedly working extra hard on these beats. I will then give these beats to the rest of the Wu, dividing them up into 2 teams, and getting them to finally make the hypothesized album Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang

Shaolin

Raekwon

Ghostface

Cappadonna

U-God

Wu-Tang

Method Man

GZA

Inspectah Deck

Masta Killa

Each group will make 5 songs, featuring only members of their group. They don’t have to use all of the members in the group, just some combination of them. After the 5 songs, they will make one posse cut, featuring everyone. Once the album is released, I will release RZA and act like nothing happened. This is my plan of plans.

I went out and picked up my copy of Assassin’s Creed 2 this morning. I enjoyed the story from Assassin’s Creed I simply cannot wait to continue the adventure. After only playing the first few minutes and watching the introduction of Assassin’s Creed 2 I can see the great work they have put into this. Also when escaping the Abstergo facility I was surprised to see Lucy has skillz, check it!

INTRO/ UPDATE FROM ASSASSIN’S CREED

LUCY

Första spelrelaterade inlägget på länge, tiden räcker knappt till att tillbringas framför datorn som jag faktiskt saknar. Forumet får inte heller den uppmärksamhet jag vill ge det, men det här är bättre än ingenting alls. Idag efter jobbet åkte jag ner till Game i Uppsala och hade bara ett spel i tanken, DJ Hero.

Suktat som tusen efter detta, men sitter nu istället med det spontana köpet av Assassins Creed 2 White Edition. Jag vet inte om det kan kallas sjukdom, men när det gäller spontana köp så är jag kungen av kungar, framförallt om köpet i sig är spelrelaterat. Här nedan är den fina editionen, med en riktigt fin plastfigur av Enzo.

Christ University, Bangalore

Paulo Coelho’s THE ALCHEMIST
Play | English

Date  -  22/November/2009      Sunday     Time  -  3:30 PM and 7:30 PM

Venue : Christ University
Hosur Road, Bangalore – 560029
Karnataka, India.

Tickets : Rs. 2000, 1000, 500 & 300

• Sponsors : Indian Stage
• Contact : TicketCounters
• Phone : 080-64536453
• Email : sowmya@ticketcounters.com
• Language : english

Synopsis:
100 million copies sold Worldwide; ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho is a modern day classic. Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy, has a dream about finding a treasure in the pyramids of Egypt. A gypsy woman and an old man claiming to be a mysterious king advise him to pursue it. “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation,” the old man tells him. “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

This story, timeless and entertaining, exotic yet simple, breaks down the journey we all take to find the most meaningful treasures in our lives into steps that are at once natural and magical. It is about the faith, power, and courage we all have within us to pursue the intricate path of a Personal Legend, a path charted by the mysterious magnet of destiny but obscured by distractions. Santiago shows how along the way we learn to trust our hearts, read the seemingly inconspicuous.

_________________________________________________________

Kyra

Confessions of an Assassin

Date  :  22/November/2009                Sunday                   Time: 11.30 am

• Event duration:  1:15 hrs
• Kyra Theatre & Restaurant

2nd & 3rd Floor, 2001 Katti-ma Center,
Indiranagar, Bangalore

• Phone : 43389292

• Concept & Direction: Bharath Kashyap.
• Cast : Trupthi Manjari, Pushpa Murthy, Navya Akkam, Krithika Narayana and Anoop Shenoy.
• Production & Lighting Design : Abhishek Iyengar.
• Stage Design : Trupthi Manjari & Bharath Kashyap.
• Communication & Co-ordination : Madhuvanthi G.
• Production Manager : Sriharsha Grama.
• Stage Manager : Hanu Ramasanjeev.
• In Support of Imagine India Foundation .

Confessions of an Assassin

Confessions of an Assassin’ is a play based on the life of one of the most famous assassins in world history and the death of the person who made him famous. It is a part-fact, part-fiction socio-political drama which explores why even the most loved and revered people in history are sometimes assassinated. The play is a non-scripted performance in which each of actors devised their own roles based on facts and interpretation of one of the most significant events of India’s history.

The play is a production of the WeMove Foundation for Performing Arts, founded in September 2006. It is a multi-disciplinary arts center dedicated to finding, developing and presenting new artistic creations from a diversity of cultures and points of view. WFPA provides emerging and mid-career artists an environment that encourages exploration, innovation and risk-taking.

____________________________________________________________

Rangashankara

Bikhre Bimb

Date  -  22/November/2009                 Sunday                    Time  -  7:30 PM

• Hindi, 70 min
• Play Writer : Girish Karnad
• Direction : Girish Karnad/ K M Chaitanya

Full HD

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Enjoy.

Lucian

Es wird eine lustige Woche. Begonnen hat sie mit einer wunderprächtigen “Lernstandskontrolle” und Politik und Wirtschaft. Weiter wird sie verfahren damit, dass ich in Musik einer Klassenkameradin ein bisschen helfe, da am Mittwoch eine “Lernstandskontrolle” in Musik folgt. Ich finde gut, dass Musik mein “Spezialgebiet” ist. Aber das Thema ist auch einfach. Intervall und die #-Dur-Tonleitern…
Uiuiui! Assassins Creed 2 kommt ja am Donnerstag raus. Und mein Vater hat auch diese Woche Geburtstag.
Ja, das wird eine lustige Woche.

Over the past few weeks, Ubisoft have been releasing episods of their live-action Assassin’s Creed flick, Lineage. Screw that. We don’t have the patience for episodes. Which is why we’re glad the whole thing is now available in one film.

Este juego es la continuacion del primer juego de assassin´s creed para nds en el que tienes que recorrer europa para encontrar a altair que a sido secuestrado por los templarios los cuales tienen malvados planes para america. Coge tus armas y preparate para matar esconderte, espiar y cumplir tu mision: salvar america