Having an attitude of gratitude I believe is one of the most powerful things someone can do when they find themselves down and out for any reason.  It is easy for all of us to focus on the problems, on the negative.  I find myself disregarding the postive things in my life and dwelling on the negative.

Is this just human nature?  I don’t believe so.  I think that this tendency is a learned behavior that affects us more than we realize.  And I also believe that because it is a learned behavior, it is up to each of us to teach ourselves another way of thinking. 

When I dwell on the negative my mind begins to spiral downward.  Things that would normally be annoyances become enormous, life changing events in a matter of hours.  When I remember to think about what I have to be grateful for, no matter how big or small, these life changing events quickly become almost comical.  Why stress about that deadline when it will come and go, met or not, and I will still be me.  Gratitude helps me to live each day to the fullest, keeping what matters most in the forefront of my mind.

Having this kind of attitude not only shows in my actions and relationships, but it is infectuous.  Grateful, positive people are the ones that we all want to have around us.  Showing these postitive traits even when surrounded by challenges says more about a person’s character than a resume or portfolio ever will.

It is Black Friday, the official start to the holiday season of commercialism. There are still some of us that are not out there in the frenzied madness that can effectively kill the true spirit of Christmas. Instead of the frenzied rush for sales why not adopt a troop of soldiers or donate food or time to a shelter? You will most definately end up with a bigger gift… that feeling is worth a million words!

Sitting with our families this Thansgiving and watching the kids play, makes me think about all the memories that I had from growing up. I am so thankful that my children have the same opportunity to grow up around their Grandparents.

I have to wonder who had a better time,me, my kids or my parents?

My Brother and I had a blast riding motorcycles and 4-wheelers. And we even took the kids for rides too. My favorite memory now will be taking my son on his firsr 4-wheeler ride.

It’s all about family and adding to those memories.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Welcome to this week’s edition of Michael Oliver’s TWIST / TRUTH about selling.

_______

Here is something that I confess makes my hair stand on end! It’s part of an email I got and refers to something I hear frequently.

“When I call people it’s not for the purpose of selling but to get to know them, create a relationship and then call them back again the following week.”

Let’s be clear about this. It’s NOT about having a nice chat, creating a relationship and calling them back next week.

It IS about establishing in the first call whether they are serious about changing their present situation and whether they are prepared to do something about it. That’s all!

If they are, you introduce your solution and how it can help them get what they want.

If they are not… you don’t! You bow out graciously. You let them know that when they are ready, you’re ready. Then clear your mind and move on and talk with others who are NOT satisfied with where they are and ARE prepared to do something about it.

I don’t care what kind of products, business opportunity, compensation plan etc., you have. If they are not serious about taking some kind of action, then nothing is going to change and there is no point in wasting both your time pursuing something that is an illusion.

Let’s talk about the “Relationship”.

In Natural Selling it’s not about creating a relationship for the purpose of making a sale. The relationship is created as a natural consequence of how you think and how you talk with people. The relationship is cemented regardless of the outcome. It comes with the territory of understanding and applying Natural Selling.

The way you do this is to allow them to talk about the difference between what they have and what they want and why they want it. Help them get clear about their present situation. The Natural Selling dialogue itself is designed to do this. It will even go so far as actually taking their interest and desire up a notch or two.

The main point though is to get to their level of seriousness.

Here are some key points;

1. You’re looking for someone who is looking to move away from and/or move toward something and has enough desire to do it.
2. You’re looking for someone who is prepared to help themselves. Ask yourself, is it possible to help anyone who is not prepared to help themselves? No. It’s impossible.
3. You’re looking for someone who is prepared to take responsibility for their actions in the past, in the present and in the future.

Think abundantly. Think leadership. If you were the CEO of a company (which you are by the way) would you hire just anyone off the street and trust your business and life on random chances? Of course you wouldn’t.

So think like and act like the CEO of an enlightened company whose primary purpose is to look for and help those who are prepared to help themselves.

And if you’d like a blueprint for making calls that will find and help those kind of people, then take a look at my “Calling Leads” audio program. The 4 CDs in this program reveal exactly how to make every call you make a productive exercise in business building and relationship building with the right people.

Have a peaceful and prosperous week…

If you’d like to leave a comment about this article please click here

Best Selling Author of “How to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!“ – Selling from the Soul. Ancient Wisdoms. Modern Practice.

“One bad apple will spoil the barrel.” Same holds true for attitudes. One bad one can spoil the barrel. What’s a manager to do?

Bad attitudes are as difficult to get your hands on as bad apples are hard to find in the bottom of the barrel. You know there’s something wrong when things don’t smell right, but its hard to see exactly what to do about it.

Marshall was one of the partners in a small office. He was talented and successful, even likable on a good day. But when things didn’t go his way, he made life miserable for everyone around him. No one was quite sure what made him fly off the handle like he did, but his attitude made life uncomfortable for everyone in the office.

How do you change a “bad attitude”? The answer is you can’t, so don’t waste your time trying. You’ll probably only make matters worse.

It’s behavior that leads us to conclude that there’s a “bad attitude”. Focus on changing the behavior. Attitudes are subjective and intangible. Behavior is tangible. It’s behavior that impacts performance. If you observe acceptable behavior, you wouldn’t know there was an attitude problem.

It was Marshall’s unacceptable behavior that caused everyone to say he had an “attitude” problem. It was his behavior, his rantings and ravings that was causing the “spoil in the barrel.”

You might be able to get someone to “change” their attitude, but it’s not the sort of thing you can fix by tomorrow. Attitudes are developed over time and change over time. Unacceptable behavior, on the other hand, is something that you can rightfully expect to change right now. It can be accomplished with tangible results.

It really didn’t make any difference how Marshall felt. He probably didn’t feel any different than any one else when things didn’t go well. The problem was how he reacted to it, his behavior.

Before initiating corrective action, ask yourself if the behavior that you are concerned about is important. If the current situation is not detrimental to accomplishing your primary objectives, it might be wise to ignore it. If it is important, you must take corrective action.

Whatever was the cause of Marshall’s attitude, one thing was for certain, his behavior was unacceptable. His partners needed to realize that regardless of his attitude, his behavior had to change.

If you are aware of behavior that requires corrective action, other people are too. If you allow the situation to continue, you are sending a message that the behavior is acceptable. That doesn’t mean you should over-react, but it does mean you must act!

Whether you’re dealing with partners or employees, to rationally determine if you have an on-the-job problem you need to answer four questions. What results do you expect? What results are you getting? What is the difference? Why does the difference exist?

While it may not be true in extreme cases like Marshalls, “bad attitudes” at work are usually related problems people are having in doing their jobs. There are three reasons why people don’t do it, whatever it may be. Either they don’t know how to do it, they can’t do it, or they won’t do it. Before a manager can change a behavior, he must examine these alternatives and determine the real cause of the problem.

If a person doesn’t know how to do a job, providing information and instruction is the appropriate remedy.

If a person can’t do the job, work at building the skills necessary. Consider the confidence level, give an opportunity for practice, and provide the support they need to meet a personal challenge. If there is a fundamental skill or aptitude problem, consider reassignment.

When it’s your business, a “bad attitude” can be frustrating. While you can’t change an attitude, you can’t accept rotten behavior either. Focus on the behavior that leads you to conclude that there is an attitude problem. Determine the significance of the behavior, its cause, and then take appropriate actions. In any event, don’t let a bad attitude spoil the barrel.

Barbara had her hands full keeping up with the department’s work load while training new people. She didn’t need a problem employee. “One ‘bad attitude’ can spoil the barrel.”

It wasn’t long after she had taken over as manager that Barbara realized she had a problem with Angela. Although Angela was one of the more experienced employees, there were certain assignments that she just wouldn’t accept. She always had a different excuse, but the results was always the same. Angela’s “bad attitude” had to change.

How do you change a “bad attitude”? The answer is you can’t, so don’t waste your time trying. You’ll probably only make matters worse.

It’s Angela’s behavior that has lead Barbara to conclude that Angela has a “bad attitude”. Focus on changing the behavior. Attitudes are subjective and intangible. Behavior is tangible. It’s behavior that impacts performance. If you observe acceptable behavior, you wouldn’t know there was an attitude problem.

You can try to get someone to “change” their attitude, but its not the sort of thing you can fix by tomorrow. Attitudes are developed over time and change over time. Unacceptable behavior, on the other hand, is something that you can rightfully expect to change right now. It can be accomplished with tangible results.

Before initiating corrective action, ask yourself if the behavior that you are concerned about is important. If the current situation is not detrimental to accomplishing your primary objectives, it might be wise to ignore it. If it is important, you must take corrective action.

If you are aware of behavior that requires corrective action, other people are too. If you allow the situation to continue, you are sending a message that the behavior is acceptable. That doesn’t mean you should over-react, but it does mean you must act!

To rationally determine if you have an on-the-job problem you need to answer four questions. What results do you expect? What results are you getting? What is the difference? Why does the difference exist?

In Barbara’s case, it’s clear she has a problem with Angela’s behavior. Barbara has a right to expect that all department employees will share assignments equally. It’s clear from a long string of excuses that she is avoiding this responsibility. But the question remains, why?

There are three reasons why people don’t do it, whatever it may be. Either they don’t know how to do it, they can’t do it, or they won’t do it. Before Barbara can proceed with handling her problem with Angela, she must examine these alternatives and determine the real cause of the problem.

If a person doesn’t know how to do a job, providing information and instruction is the appropriate remedy.

If a person can’t do the job, work at building the skills necessary. Consider the confidence level, give an opportunity for practice, and provide the support they need to meet a personal challenge. If there is a fundamental skill or aptitude problem, consider reassignment.

Angela’s case was apparently a “won’t do”. Having followed an orderly problem solving process, Barbara continued by arranging for a private discussion with Angela, not to discuss her “bad attitude”, but rather to determine the reasons for avoiding job assignments. With Barbara focusing the discussion on the specific behavior problem in a non-judgmental manner, Angela reluctantly disclosed her problem.

Angela hadn’t been willing to admit it, but she was scared that she would fail at the jobs that were unfamiliar to her. She incorrectly assumed that the consequences of avoiding the work would be better than having her inabilities exposed.

Instead of being confronted with the frustration of dealing with an employee with a “bad attitude”, Barbara, by focusing on the specific unacceptable behavior, has pinpointed a tangible problem. She now has the opportunity to remedy the situation by implementing an appropriate corrective action.

Angela’s “won’t do” was a result of insecurity. Barbara was ready with the right support. She gave Angela the confidence to take the training by guaranteeing Angela that she could have all the time she needed to learn the new equipment. Barbara assured her that if she tried and was unable to master the new tasks, she would give her work assignments elsewhere.

When it’s your business, a “bad attitude” can be frustrating. Focus on the behavior that leads you to conclude that there is an attitude problem. Determine the significance of the behavior, its cause, and then take appropriate actions.

The final results aren’t in as yet, but my guess is that Angela will be one of the best operators in the department.

You are growing in your life learning more about yourself, your relationships, your opinions, the working of the world and how it relates to you. Holistic Growth I will call it! Most people arround you are not growing they will be the same people day in and day out. Sad but true,what is  or should be changing is how you react to these people.Since you are growing and developing you are becoming more and more aware of your  FAULTS , and some of these faults might be how you responded in the past. The mark of real change and growth in you life will be how you react to those negative events! Are you responding differently? But, at no time should we get a “nah nah I’m a better person then you are” attitude. In some cases it is down right sad to look at the way some people have lived and are living their lives. Pray for them!

I have now started to read ‘Calvin for Armchair Theologians,’ by Christopher Elwood. I have to admit that I come to this book with a very doubtful attitude. The front cover illustration of John Calvin and the many ‘comic-like’ illustrations throughout the book worry me. I just don’t get a sense that this book is a serious treatment of John Calvin. That is the impression that presents when just looking at the book – I hope to be proven wrong for having ‘judged a book by its cover.’ The illustrations in the book are by Ron Hill, who is apparently a freelance illustrator and cartoonist.

I have to admit that the ‘armchair theologian’ part of the title also gives me a poor impression of the book – it sort of gives me the picture of a guy who loves to watch sport on the TV while sitting in his armchair, while not really taking the sport seriously in his actual life – has nothing to do with it in reality, in that he doesn’t play sport. This is the idea that ‘armchair theologian’ paints for me, which is an approach to theology that is far removed from the Bible’s idea of involvement with the truth.

But, as I said, I hope to be proven wrong for having ‘judged a book by its cover.’

Many of the MBA career aspirants are ready for the battle, all of them trying to bell this CAT (Common Admission Test). Just one day to go for the examination and students’ heart beats already thumping high. Combined Admission Test (CAT) conducted by the IIMs is believed to be one of the toughest exam in the world, more gruelling than the GRE and the GMAT put together.

Where the number of applications has decreased this time due to online examination system, the stress level has also been doubled.

But don’t worry!!! Even daring to face it is itself a bold step towards your dream.
It doesn’t matter what you have done till now as you can’t change it. What matters is that what shall you do from now onwards to make that change..

It is not always necessary that everybody can and will be able to crack the test with ease in the first attempt. I have seen many people with far worse percentiles. No person is defeated until and unless he believes that. So never let the option of defeat for yourself. CAT is not the end of life… There are many more options available in life.

Cracking CAT is also not an impossible target .. many students achieve this target year on year …. It just needs the right preparation, passion and approach. Afterall the achievers are also the simple students like us and not the superheroes…Moreover the word impossible itself says,”I M POSSIBLE.”

Always remember..”Hard work never goes waste and always shows it’s colour in some or the other form.”

My Best Wishes to all the MBA aspirants…

Shilpa Sharma / www.aglakadam.com / 27.11.2009 /

Things remain unknown only if we are ignorant of details or ignorant of possibility of getting into details

tattoo-pearcing.blogspot.com

Tattoos have become a craze among young people today. But does the Bible have anything to say about the subject? Most would say no, but then, they would be wrong! God’s word plainly condemns such practices in Lev. 19:28, which reads, “Ye shall not…print [tatoo] any marks upon you: I am the Lord.”

A true Christian attitude is one of giving and service. It should demonstrate humility and modesty. A Christian should not appear strange or outlandish in attire. It fact, there are warnings against such attitudes and rebellion.

“Body art” and tattoos are generally motivated by vanity, sexual lust and rebellion; attitudes condemned throughout the Bible. Even if someone says he or she isn’t doing it for those reasons, we should avoid all “appearance of evil” (I Thess. 5:22).

Christians are told by God to be a light to this world (Matt. 5:13-16), and their body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. They must glorify God with it. God does not want graffiti on His temple (I Cor. 6:19-20). We must ensure that our appearance is clean, wholesome and modest. It must be based on God’s law.

Many people might not really think about the word attitude as a positive word, but by definition attitude means more than just being hostile or all “up in someone else’s face”

These are some of my realizations:

We do NOT have a choice over how others behave: speak, think or even react, but we do have a choice about how WE respond.  Sometimes you have to ask yourself what really matters here? The fact that someone is being something that we don’t like, does not make what they are being bad or wrong.  Perhaps to them that is what is right for them at that moment – ironic?

It’s an interesting subject to me, the whole debate on right and wrong.

We as a human race really should acknowledge the things which ultimately separate us.  We need to understand that our versions of right and wrong might not necessarily be the same versions others stand by.

As far as society is concerned, it is possible that somewhere in the sands of time, a culture or clan sat down and decided that in order to have order they would need to come to agreement on certain things which would then form a basis for “civilized” society.  For instance: how to eat, how to speak etc.  Today people still make agreements, because to agree means no conflict (perhaps these agreements need further revision)

Even with agreements in place there is in all likely hood a very real possibility that we wont always see eye to eye with one another. Why?

It all boils down to what we believe in.  While this is a “touchy” subject to some, the fact is that for the average person most of what they believe in they were taught to believe in: Parents, teachers, friends and so on.  While this is unavoidable, we need to ask a very important question, but this question involves, getting real.. it involves truth.

Who am I?

While most people will give themselves a title or two like: Mother or Father, Business man/woman is that really what defines you or is it merely a role you play here in life.

Perhaps we are the sum of all our experiences, perhaps we are basically all the same once you scratch beneath the label.

Perhaps we are all just beings having a human experience?

If this is the case, it could change our attitudes and thinking on a very large-scale! Why? because honestly speaking: who are we to interfere with another persons experience of the world?

E.g.  You decide that its been a really long week and need to get some serious down-time! You plan a picnic in the forest with your close friends or loved one’s.  You wake up, the sun is shining and it’s a perfect day. In fact you counted on it being a perfect day just about as much as you count on their being silence and peace while you picnic with nature. You get there and all is well. After an hour a bunch of rowdy teenagers find a patch next to you and “ruin” your “vibe”.  Would you like that? And what would you do?

You probably wouldn’t appreciate it, but there is a better way to deal with such a situation rather than shouting at them isn’t there?

The forest is a big place and there are plenty of places you can picnic. Yes it’s all about attitude. You always have a choice, and there are always other options other than option 1.

While we may not agree with everything others say and do, it does not make them wrong and us right,  It simply is just that, a disagreement or differing points of view.

This is life.

I put this note up on my PC so i see it everyday:

“The one thing i have complete control over is my ATTITUDE”.- Sir Lawrence Olivier

I find it most useful in trying moments.

Do whatever works for you, but perhaps the next time when you are itching to respond in a negative way, give yourself a second to think before you respond.

Love and Later

TIME

Sir Lawrence Olivier

Stand before me on the sign of infinity,
all you of the earth.
With the granting of the law of provination
comes the application of change.

I will give you the key.
And with this knowledge, please realise,
comes the responsibility of sharing it.
I will show you the way.

It’s very simple. Throughout the universe
there is order.

In the movement of the planets, in nature
and in the functioning of the human mind.
A mind that is in its natural state of order,
is in harmony with the universe
and such a mind is timeless.

Your life is an expression of your mind.
You are the creator of your own Universe -
For as a human being, you are free to will whatever
state of being you desire through the use of your
thoughts and words.

There is great power there.

It can be a blessing or a curse -
It’s entirely up to you.
For the quality of your life is brought about
by the quality of your thinking -
think about that.

Thoughts produce actions -
look at what you’re thinking.

See the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the
fear and all the other attitudes that cause
you pain and discomfort.

Realize that the one thing you have absolute
control over is your attitude.

See the effect that it has on those around you.
For each life is linked to all life
and your words carry with them chain reactions
like a stone that is thrown into a pond.

If your thinking is in order,
your words will flow directly from the heart
creating ripples of love.

If you truly want to change your world, my friends,
you must change your thinking.

Reason is your greatest tool,
it creates an atmosphere of understanding,
which leads to caring which is love.

Choose your words with care.
Go forth … with love.

]]> http://sonofmine.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/learning-to-say-thank-you/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 06:17:08 +0000 Phillip Gibb http://sonofmine.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/learning-to-say-thank-you/

My son still has a long way to go before he can read on his own or even have a two way conversation that goes past 3 or 4 broken sentences. yet there are some words and phrases that can be taught that go beyond the word or words themselves. But that makes it even harder.
Please and Thank You come to mine, not only because they are polite but also because they infer respect to another party. That is what makes it hard for a toddler to understand.
Kids grow up taught to be self-centered then we complain about their attitudes when they are teenagers. From bum gel to hair gel kids kids are indoctrinated that it is all about them. A bit hard to avoid as a doting parent where your child is the whole world.
In order for us to teach our children not to be self-centered we need to start early with Thank you and Please.
But the question is how? Apart from repeating the phrase all the time, how does one show the concept?
[Photo by: vernhart]

“Seek out that particular mental attitude which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, “This is the real me” and when you have found that attitude follow it”

William James – 1842 1910

Here are Ways #s 4 and 5 from the last post which promised you 5 Ways to Be More Great-full (Boost Your Gratitude Attitude)…

#4: FAMILY (or couple’s) GRATITUDE BOOK
We just spent a very pleasant hour doing this great art & writing interactive project. So simple and yet so meaningful and fun! Quality family time!

We do not watch television, nor do our children. We are dedicated to parenting consciously and strive to support a vibration of love in our household. Yet, given that my husband and I are both entrepreneurs, with seven businesses between the two of us, and given that our children are still quite young, we know how important and sometimes challenging it can be to come up ideas (not to mention time, energy and materials) for positive family experiences.

I myself am about the least craftsy person you will ever meet and can draw a stick figure on a good day! So believe me when I tell you: Yes, you CAN do this project, and probably with what’s already available in your home. It really ranks high on simple, high on fun, high on memorable, and low on expense. (I can NEVER do those Origami things, puuleeeeeazzze, can we talk?)

Thanksgiving weekend is the perfect time to do this Family Gratitude Book…but of course so is any day that ends in “y.” Monday, Tuesday…. Enjoy!

Materials:

All you need is:

Some blank paper (we used printer or copy paper, white)

Construction paper

Ribbon or brass brads to secure the book

Markers, pencils, hole punch and/or scissors

Optional: Stickers, stamps, other art supplies, scrapbook, photos

Definitely: A little bit of time and lots of love!

We started by making a brainstormed list of everything we are grateful for. You can do this any way you like; follow your own creative impulses & inspiration. We have four family members, so I decided to color code what we wrote on this collective page or you could just all write and draw without attributing who said/drew what, or make a chart, have sections of the page, etc. The things my 6-year-old called out first were written in yellow, my 10-year-old chose blue, I picked purple and my husband green. We made a color key on the page and wrote and drew various things we are thankful for: Our dog came first, followed by a lovely torrent such as family and friends, food, a good home, music, the Earth, music, health, God, life and so on.

Then I gave each family member a separate page on which to do whatever they like, the only requirement being that whatever is on the page relates to or represents what they are thankful for. We stuck in some more blank pages, so we can add more later as we are inspired.

The kids each got to pick a color for the front and back covers. The older did the words, the younger did the drawings. We punched holes, added brads, all signed the masterpiece and voila! A Family Gratitude Book.

Not only a wonderful way to spend part of our Thanksgiving Day, but a precious keepsake, and, I trust, a new family tradition as well. We will be sharing this book with family all weekend long and inviting them to add to it as well. And of course, it can be done any day! Every day bears its own gifts if we just open the package.

Today we focused mainly on what we are thankful for in our current lives (now), but we could also include wonderful memories (past) and gratitude for all the blessings on the way! (future)

Alternative for Couples: You can also do this as a Couple’s Gratitude Book or Journal, a beautiful way to show appreciation and deepen connection. So few marriages last or are happy, as we all know, and I am blessed to have a deliriously, deLIGHTfully ecstatic marriage, 12 years strong and better every day. One of the reasons is of course, the selection of the right mate; but in order to do so, we had to do the necessary self-healing and inner preparation to bring whole, healthy individuals to the relationship. Much of this work is presented in my book: The Radical Self-Love Workbook. But it is also essential to nurture even the best of relationships, and my husband and I do so daily in many creative ways such as this.

More tips on love and relationships are at

www.LoveandSpirit.org

and at my love blog: loveandspiritblog.wordpress.com.

Whether you do the Gratitude Book as a homemade book like we did today, like a scrapbook or journal, and whether you do it as a family activity or a couple’s relationship-enhancer, it will help you see your life through the eyes of love and gratitude, and bring you even closer with those you love. Enjoy! And I welcome you to send me a comment or email to share your experience.

#5: Honor the 4 Directions and 4 Sacred Elements:

Earth, Air, Fire, Water

You do not have to be Native American to appreciate one of their traditions, which is to honor the Medicine Wheel, facing each of the four directions, thanking each one for their gifts. This is also a tradition in all indigenous cultures including pre-Christian Europe (a.k.a. Wicca, Druidry, paganism, et al.), Africa, Australia, Hawaii and South America.

In fact, if you scratch the surface beneath contemporary religions on any part of the Earth, you will find an ancient shamanic tradition that honors all the directions and all of nature as sacred.

All things follow this cycle of birth, growth, fruition and quietude, whether we are looking at seasons, a lifespan, a day, or a garden. The beauty of Medicine Wheel ceremony and the paradigm itself is that it can be applied to our lives in so many ways.

So how do you honor the directions and elements, to give thanks for what they give to us so generously? Here are a few ideas:

* Altar: Create an altar to each direction or a Medicine Wheel altar encompassing all the directions/elements. This can be in your home or outside. My husband specializes in creating Medicine Wheels as a sacred practice on the land, and has helped others to do this as well.

* Cherokee Dance of Life – You would need to learn this in person from someone who has learned it, oral tradition. This is an incredible moving meditation to all 4 directions, peoples, and elements which also honors Mother Earth and Father Sky, balances their energies as sacred partners in our hearts, and helps us give away the gifts of Spirit that are our special medicine to share with the world through our right work and service. Occasionally my husband and I share this Dance with our community. If you live near Sacramento, and would like to experience this dance, let us know so we can invite you. Or perhaps Spirit will guide you to another teacher of this beautiful tradition.

* Drum, chant, play flute to each direction

* Give offerings such as cornmeal, tobacco or sage smoke to each direction

* Speak aloud from your heart to each direction and give thanks

* Sweat lodge

* Vision quest

If you do either sweat lodge or vision quest, please do so with the guidance of a Native elder to be sure you do it properly and safely.

* Journal or journey (shamanic meditation) to discover what power animals comprise your personal Medicine Wheel of your own energy field. I love to lead these meditations when I am called to do so. Honoring your own inner Medicine Wheel supports a strong aura and keeps you connected to your spirit guides, if this resonates for you.

Associations with Each Direction

Depending on which culture or even which tribe you consult, there are somewhat different associations with the directions, colors, elements and meanings, the medicine or power that direction helps us receive and embody. The one I am most familiar with follows but this is not dogma, merely a summary of what I have found to be the more universal associations. Follow your own heart and work with any spiritual practice in the way that resonates for your own heart and inner truth.

While I have a small amount of native blood, I was adopted and was not raised in that tradition. I discovered shamanism after my initiation and spiritual awakening 15 years ago. I do not claim to be a tribal elder or teacher of any one tradition. I am an interfaith minister, meditation teacher, hypnotherapist, energy healer and intuitive life coach. I have been on the path of Spirit, studying, practicing and sharing healing and wisdom teachings from many cultures for several decades, so I offer here a simplified summary as a starting point for your discovery journey. You would do well to study more in depth with a local teacher steeped in the particular tradition that calls to your spirit, and of course feel free to research further on the Web, in books, classes, and listen to your own inner guidance. I always say the best way to pray, do ceremony or ritual is the way that feels best to you, with harm to none, of course. But we do need to honor the specific traditions so they are not all diluted through multiculturalism.

From the East we have the yellow people (Asia) and the gift of Air, Brother Wind, clarity of vision, inspiration, the new day, new beginnings, establishment of purpose and intention, and springtime.

From South, we receive the wisdom of the black people (Africa), Fire. The tools, strength, perseverance and energy to follow through and manifest, midday/ noon, summer, also humor and passion, innocence and trust.

The West gives us the culture of the Red people (such as Native Americans), the setting sun, Water, emotions, the fall season, self-evaluation toward completion, looks-within time, peace, rest and healing.

And the North represents the White (European) people and all their cultural gift. The sacred mountain, winter, midnight, time to slow down, go within and be still to receive guidance for what comes next. Completion, what you keep from the past cycle and all that you have accomplished and learned. It is also associated with the Spirit and wisdom.

Note: You can also honor the other 3 directions: Earth (below), Sky (above) and Center (within).

I hope you enjoyed these five creative ways to give thanks and I wish you abundant blessings on your journey!

Finally, in the spirit of Sufi mystic poet Rumi, I invite you to kiss the ground. Blow kisses to the sky. Bow to everything. Everything is sacred.

With Love,

Sage

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Taylor@LoveandSpirit.org

“Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”

- Rumi

I love Thanksgiving.  This is the day to sit back and reflect on all that is right in life and make a vow to keep a positive attitude from now on.  Of course I can’t be positive every day of the year, but it’s still nice to get an attitude adjustment from time-to-time and today was the day.

Normally we celebrate this day with a big family dinner, but my oldest girl has been running a fever the past few days, so we stayed home.  Despite the change in plans, my husband, our girls and I had a fantastic day.  We ended up cooking a full, traditional Thanksgiving meal and I made the best dessert – Paula Deen’s pumpkin gooey butter cakes.  Delicious!  After dinner and a Barbie movie, we decided to put up the Christmas tree a little early.  The point is that we were all together and all healthy despite a slight fever and that’s all that mattered.  The girls even dressed in their chosen holiday outfits for our stay-at-home dinner.  Maybe it’s because we got them new boot and they felt the need to get out of the pajamas!  Check it a few photos of our day:

My girls ~ vintage style:

Posing for a quick outdoor photo:

Stella’s rockin’ suede crush boots:

She was fascinated with the side zipper:

Here’s hoping you enjoyed your day and paused for a moment to give thanks for all your blessings.  I wish you well this holiday season. 

I leave you with a quick glimpse of one of our favorite Christmas images:

Over these past few years I know what it has been like to be on the top of your faith and I know what it is like to almost lose it. I know the arguments for both accepting and rejecting faith in Christ. I know how true Christianity and false Christianity look like and have experienced both sides of the proverbial coin.

And one major problem has allowed me to examine why I truly believe in Christ: hypocrisy.  This one major problem that has spread throughout the body of Christ is why I have wondered why I believe in Christ in the first place. This one major problem has made me wonder is it worth fellowshipping with those who call themselves Christians. And this one major problem has almost destroyed my faith, my ministry, and my life.

Jerks—I can’t stand them. If anyone is honest with himself or herself they would probably say the same thing. I mean, who says that they love jerks? I mean anyone with half a brain would probably say, “I can’t stand jerks.” I mean that’s just me, but who knows these days. But it seems like the epidemic of “jerk-itis” is on the flippin’ rise. I see girls that are in love with macho jerks; I see people in government that are elitist jerks; I see corporate executives that are greedy and are ravenous jerks; I see jerks, jerks, and more jerks.

But the one place I have seen more jerks in my life than any other place unfortunately is not in the clubs, Washington, D.C. , or on Wall Street—nope, the place I have seen my fair share of jerks is in the church. Now it is one thing for some atheist to write this statement; but this is coming from someone who is a passionate believer in Christ, who loves Christ and His church, and was a former “jerk.”

You see, when I first became a Christian I was brought up more with the mentality of being a legalist jerk than being a compassionate servant. For me it was all about being right and wrong and it was about who could be the most holy and dress in the best suit. It was about politics and about CCM (hating it, then liking it, then having to hear it is the “devil’s music,” then finally liking it). It was about going to that “Christian college,” and abstinence and about dating is bad and courtship is good. In the end it was about me, myself, and I. I didn’t even grasp the picture of what authentic Christianity looked like until recently in life. All I was seeing previously was hypocrisy, fundamentalism, legalism, and everything that the Lord hates but the things that permeate the Church.

Jerks are everywhere man and they come in all shapes and sizes. They are nonbelievers but they are believers as well. I am not saying that the things above like CCM, abstinence, and courtship are bad things. But having the attitude that because I like or practice those things makes me better than you is “jerkish.” What we need to do to eradicate the “jerk-itis” syndrome that is going around the church today is replace everything “we hate” with the royal law as James puts it: to love God and to love others. If we would become a band of believers that were known more for who we love than for what we hate—the world wouldn’t have to see us as bold-face bigots or hatemongers; we could be seen as revolutionaries, as compassionate servants of the kingdom desiring life change in every individual life.

I have been there and done that when it comes to being a “jerk,” and now I abandon it for something authentic—a true servant of Christ. Laying aside any fundamentalism, or legalism, or judgmentalism, or homophobia, or hypocrisy, or anything that would hinder me from opening up the truth of the gospel with others—I serve God with all my heart and love God and love others.

Here’s a “short test” to see if you pass or fail the “jerk test”:

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10)

So if you praise God yet curse men, you pass the “jerk test” with flying colors, and if you don’t, well then you fail. If we were honest with ourselves, I would say we all have passed and have been there, done that. Let’s resolve never to commit the act that James has spoken of, but let us always do the following:

“If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right.” (James 2:8)

[this is from a series of articles entitled: “Why I Hate…”]

A smile is a curve that sets everything right.

Smile the moment you wake up in the morning ………………………

Develop the habit of setting a tone of happiness for the day by smiling as soon as you wake up each morning.

Smiling gets your face in the mood to be happy.

As you smile thank God for watching you all night. Then, smile at the thought that God will be present throughout the day and help you with every crisis, challenge  or obstacle.

Smile to remember of at least one good thing that happened the day before. Smile at the thought of all the opportunities and blessings that await you during the day. Smile at the very fact that you are alive and smiling. And as you smile, ask for God’s grace to give you away your five smiles to others before retiring for the night.

Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it. Have you ever seen a smiling face that was not beautiful? A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks – no one is never fully dressed without a smile. So wear a smile, one size fits all.!!!

“The more you are thankful for what you have, the more you have to be thankful for.”

Happy Thanksgiving!

“The eye, altering, alters all.” – William Blake

I recently saw the movie Up with my family and we were touched by the sweet message that it is the most simple moments that have the most meaning for us. I call those moments, like when Russell sits on the curb counting red and blue cars with his dad and then with his new (grand)father figure at the end of the movie, the “pearls on life’s necklace.” Individually, they are precious and delicate, yet strung one after another, they form a true treasure.

In an earlier post, I shared several reasons why it is so essential to enhance our gratitude attitude. So now, as promised, here are some fun, practical ideas for how to become even more grateful (great full), how to count more of those pearls and value them with your heart, while they are in your hands:

1. My Feet Touch the Earth.

A Native American custom is to give thanks to Mother Earth each morning upon rising, when your feet first touch the floor or ground. This helps us remember that the land we live upon is alive and sacred, worthy of our deepest respect and greatest appreciation. It also helps you receive her bounty, through food, health, abundance and every good thing you can touch or experience through your senses, and to feel more grounded and “in your body.” Another thing I love about this practice is it takes zero extra time; it’s just a shift in consciousness, and isn’t that what we are most striving for?

2. Write a (different kind of) Thank-You Letter.

Well, you already know about the traditional thank-you-for-the-gift kind of letter. I believe it’s on the Endangered Species List. (When’s the last time to sent or received one of those?) I highly recommend we resuscitate these as they bring and spread so much joy, especially the kind of letters, cards and notes you can actually…what’s that called?….Oh, yeah, TOUCH with your actual hands and reread over and over without having to go online. What a concept!

In addition to writing to give thanks for specific gifts or favors you have received, I propose you explore writing Thank-You Letters to:

* Your loved ones…just because

* Yourself

* God/The Universe

* Your Body

* Money

* Your Ancestors

* The Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Sun, Moon, Stars…

You see, the possibilities are as infinite as your abundantly grateful heart.

3. Take a Gratitude Walk.

Dedicate a walk to the awareness of thankfulness. This is a walking meditation and is best done in silence or punctuated only with your statements of appreciation or a simple mantra such as:

* Thank you, God, for all that is.

* Right here, right now, beauty all around me.

* I give thanks.

* I am thankful.

Your gratitude mantra can also just run in your mind without being spoken aloud. You can rhythmically coordinate the mantra to your steps, or not; follow your own guidance and what your body tells you to do.

Another option is to think or praise something with each step or everytime you notice something you are thankful for, such as: “Thank you for my feet that I may walk. Thank you for these trees I see…. Thank you for the air I breathe. Thank you for my children (husband, wife, etc..). Thank you for my home. Thank you for my dog. Thank you for my car. Thank you for my work. Thank you for music….”

While you are walking, you may give thanks for gifts from Spirit which you can see and hear and touch in the present moment, or other blessings in your life, counting your pearls, but the key is to keep every step, every breath, every moment focused on hearful, mindful appreciation.

This is an excellent exercise which combines nourishing your body through the movement itself with nourishing your mind, heart and soul by returning your awareness to what is precious and good, all around you and within you.

As a meditation teacher for the past 11 years, I have frequently met beginning students who lament, “I can’t meditate because I can’t sit still so long. My body hurts and gets fidgety.” Some meditation disciplines and teachers simply reply to this: “Just sit. Let the distraction of the mind chatter and body aches just fade away and just sit anyway. They are all illusions, and your mind will eventually clear as you ignore the ‘monkey mind.’”

This is true for some people, some of the time, as with so much wisdom. However, some people really do need to move more often. This can be due a medical condition, a tendency toward being highly kinesthetic, and/or a need to move energy and remember they have a body through touch and motion.

I am solidly in the latter category myself and find that I benefit optimally from a kaleidoscopic, multicultural meditation practice, drawn from Eastern and Western traditions – like the Meditation for Busy People course I designed for and taught at Kaiser Permanente. Sometimes still, some moving, sometimes silent, others with chanting or music or sacred sounds, sometimes focusing on the heart, third eye, or other chakra, other times aware of the whole body and energy field, sometimes open-eyed (gazing meditation is called “tratakam” in India), sometimes closed, focused on the inner space. Let me know if you would like to me to share more of my knowledge of meditation in this blog column. I teach many methods in my workshops, teleseminars and private practice and share them also on my meditation audios.

For whatever reason, if you do not enjoy an extended sitting meditation practice, you will likely give up on it, so I highly recommend exploring moving meditation such as Tai Chi, Chi Gun, Native American Dance of Life (Dance to the 4 Directions) and even some dynamic forms of yoga, or simply authentic body movement and dance as a meditation. Walking meditations like this gratitude walk is another wonderful way to integrate Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit, so give yourself permission to move while you meditate, and give yourself credit for “meditating” if you are moving consciously and feeling a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefit.

Anything you do that brings your awareness to the present moment, that cultivates mindfulness and what I call heartfulness, is a form of meditation, be it walking, stretching, drinking a cup of tea, even cooking or cleaning.

As Buddhist monk and teacher Thich Nat Hanh says, whatever you are doing, even if you are washing dishes, it is the most important thing in the world.And it can be done joyfully and gratefully. Absolutely anything and everything is a meditation when done with focus and appreciation. Right here. Right now. Love.

So I invite you to join me in striving to live Life as The Grand Meditation. The Prayer of Thankfulness that Never Ends. The moment of choice, the moment of change, the moment of power, healing and grace, is now.

∞

As for me, time to go practice gratitude with my family. Right here. Right now. We are about to create a Family Gratitude Book! I’ll let you know how it turns out, and I suspect that may become Gratitude Tip #4.

Your life can change in a moment’s notice.

And the moments you notice can change your entire life.

So, my friends, have a beautiful day…and another…and another…Keep adding to, and treasuring those precious gifts of moments of simple pleasure, in oneness, and in the company of loved ones, the pearls on your necklace of life.

With Love, Sage

P.S. Please share in comments:

What part of this article did you most resonate with?

What are your favorite ways to deepen your gratitude attitude?

And what are you most thankful for this season?

(what are some of your precious pearls)

Just click on the article title to add a comment if the box is not visible below. Thanks for visiting!

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“Gratitude is of the very essence of worship. … When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives”. Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love.”

Today at work, I was able to observe for a while, a man standing outside the doors of the mall (the temple of consumtion). In our town there is a magazine that’s made with the purpose of helping those who have a hard time getting their life together for different reasons. The articles are about social issues, and also about these people, in an effort to help people see the individuals behind the problem. 
 Half of the price goes to the seller, and the rest goes to make the magazine.

I think this is one of those genius win-win ideas that make our world a little better. The person selling is able to work and get paid, while also getting to talk to people and at least lower some of the walls we often seem to raise when people don’t fit into our frame of mind. The people reading the articles get a nuanced picture of what life is really like on the rougher side, and hopefully they gain some understanding and compassion for their neighbours.

This is already enough to make me very hopeful about the state of our community, but my spirit was lifted even further today as I stood there watching this salesman. In the brief period I observed him, several people bought the magazine, but more importantly, there were also people stopping just to chat and say hello for a second. That’s just wonderful!

The big risk for these people is to lead an isolated life in the shadows, being ignored by others and thus feeling like they don’t exist. Just a nod and a hello is actually enough to show this person that he exists and that I respect him. (See also the earlier post “By this roadside”)
 And most of all, it confirms his worth as a human regardless of his circumstances, and that’s worth more than money in my book.