Over the summer, I got a new (used) car. It’s a good little car, and I like it a lot. Recently I’ve noticed that, sometimes when I drive it, an icon lights up on my dashboard. It looks sort of like this (!) I have no idea what it means, but I imagine that any warning light that looks like (!) is probably not warning of a good thing. But, seeing as how the signal is only illuminated every once in a while, and doesn’t come on every time I drive my car, I’ve been electing to ignore it. I refuse to take out my owner’s manual and figure out what (!) means, because, on some level, I’m convinced that if I don’t know it’ll somehow go away. Or, when my car falls apart in the middle of the highway one afternoon, I’ll be able to act all indignant and ticked off because I had no warning.

Stupid, huh?

I’ve started to think about how often I do that sort of thing, emotionally. Denial’s wonderful, but only to a point. Eventually, whatever it is that I happen to be trying to ignore comes up to bite me in the you-know-where. My car falls apart in the middle of the highway, if you will. I get angry at myself for letting things falling apart, but, to be truthful, I get even angrier at myself for ignoring the warning signs of impending car trouble.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who does this.

So why do we do it?

“The optimist is right. The pessimist is right. The one differs from the other as the light from the dark. Yet both are right. Each is right from his own particular point of view, and this point of view is the determining factor in the life of each”……Ralph Waldo Trine, In Tune with the Infinite

I hopped on my Facebook page this morning and one of my friends had posted this quote.  Interestingly enough most of my friends on my Facebook are not too into metaphysical thinking or spiritual evolution,  so it’s not like all of my friends are posting this kind of thing. It really struck me, and I know it is no coincidence.  Interestingly enough, I have never ever heard of Ralph Waldo Trine.  Of course I have heard of many of his contemporaries, Ernest Homes, Mary Baker Eddy, etc…but now I am being introduced to him.  Strangely, as I cock my head to the right, I feel a trip to Barnes and Nobles coming on…

And what about this quote huh? I love this because it expresses exactly what I have learned to be true.  No one is right or wrong in their attitude, but that attitude will determine the kind of life each will live.  And the beautiful thing about attitudes is that we can change them! Now that’s something to get excited about!  Don’t you think!

This is what I heard in the kitchen at work recently when I asked a fella near the utensils to toss me a plastic knife… which I subsequently bobbled. I chuckled and said “my wife is the athletic one, I’m the musical one.”

But seriously, that speaks to a couple things… one of them being that all lesbians play softball–which is a terribly old stereotype. Another odd thing happened, I probably would have been a little more annoyed by this young man… except that he then sat down and started telling me the story of his life as a young gay man. I had just popped into the kitchen for a quick beverage refill, but took a few moments to sit and listen.

I guess we never know how our life interacts with or affects another life. In a moment of not hiding who I am (I don’t wear a t-shirt that says “I’m a big ‘ol dyke”– I simply reply authentically and clarify when someone assumes my spouse is a man), a young man found a moment that he could speak freely within.

A recent post from Cashcow features two ad campaigns promising to make banking simpler.  It’s a worthy goal, but I tend to agree with Jeff Pilcher’s comment that—at least historically—such campaigns reflect bank-think rather than how customers think.

What stuck with me about the post, though, was the tagline for an Australian bank’s campaign:  “We live in your world.”

In the U.S. it’s become increasingly apparent that banks don’t live in our world.  They live in a world where any thought of truly serving their customers begins and ends in a 30-second spot.   A world where shareholders are kings and everyone else is a goldmine.  Where any deception is OK as long as it’s profitable.

Is this an unfair assessment?  It doesn’t matter because, if you’re a bank of any size, This is your brand in the world where your customers live.

It doesn’t matter what you think your brand is or what you want it to be.  You’re stuck with the brand your customers give you.  This is the crux of Outside-In Banking.:

• You don’t own your brand.  They do.
• You don’t create your brand.  They do.
• You don’t control your brand.  They do.

So, if you want your brand to change, you have to change.  And that doesn’t mean changing your tagline.  It means changing your world.

How’s that for making banking simple?

The first day in weeks with absolutely no medication at all; hallelujah, what a milestone! The day also marked my first trip outside the house in weeks, but for the few doctor appointments that I was chauffeured to; there and back.

Today I had to get out. Not because I felt the overwhelming need that had crept up and seized me so many times in the previous weeks, but for sheer necessity alone; proving that I was capable and come Monday, could face the alarm clock, pick myself up, drive myself to the office and get on with my life.

I had a little list; things that I’d been meaning to ask for, but kept putting off. And so I decided a short trip to the drugstore would be a good test; nothing too strenuous, just a few miles from home.

Mind you, I’ve only had to make my way around my house on crutches, so I was thankful for the wheelchair just inside the front doors at Walgreens, and my son had a blast pushing me around with the little blue basket in my lap, filling it as we traversed row after row.

Our errand was accomplished and we even managed a few laughs and giggles in the process. We left the wheelchair at the door and I crutched it back to the van, which was in the front row, just a few spaces from the door. However, I’m not able to drive with the cast, so I have to remove it, which is no small feat let me tell you, even though it’s made to be removable.

So, I’m trying to do all this on my own, even though my son wants to help, because come Monday, I’ll be on my own and need to get the process down. So the cast is off and I’m slipping on a shoe so I could drive, trying to position the cast and crutches between the two front seats for easy access and I hear someone honking their horn.

We turned to look and there’s this woman with who I assume is her daughter, stopped at the end of the car beside us; her blinker is on and clearly she’s wanting my spot, but apparently I’m not moving fast enough for her.

We ignore her and go about our business. He gets in as I’m still messing with the crutches and I start the van and she honks again; this time a little longer, a little more annoying. In much more of a hurry now for me to get the hell out of her way; and I feel my blood pressure begin to rise.

We were putting on our seatbelts just as the driver of the car parked beside us comes out of the store and gets in their car, but not before she honks again! And so I wait.

And while I wait I put the passenger window down, knowing she’s about to pull in beside us, just as Cole puts the hood of his sweatshirt up and slowly eases his seat back out of the line of fire.

She whips her car in, looks at me with a scowl on her face and throws her hands up as if to say, “What the Fuck.” I’m leaning over toward the window now waiting for her to emerge, and I saw the scowl disappear when looked over and saw my position at the ready, then turned back and fumbled with her bag. Her teenage daughter got out before her and gave me an apologetic look which I completely ignored.

The moment her head cleared the door I pounced….

“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said a little louder than probably necessary, but wanting to be certain not to miss this opportunity, lest I would be forced to cast back up and follow her into the store. She looked at me and cocked her head, as I was continuing to infringe on her precious time.

“ I’m sorry I wasn’t moving fast enough for you; I was busy adjusting my crutches and fixing my leg before I could pull out and drive off”, and picked up my crutches from between the seats for affect, which caused her face to pale and eyes to widen just enough to be noticeable. She stood there for a moment looking at me, but still said nothing. My point was made, but I wasn’t quite done.

“Perhaps if you weren’t in such a fucking hurry and obviously too lazy to walk a few extra steps, you might have noticed the row of empty parking spaces right behind us!” She slammed her door and mumbled something under her breath then yelled at her daughter who was lingering at the front of the car, craning her neck so as not to miss a thing.

I calmly pulled out of my spot as she walked toward the door. I then backed up so that I was even with where she was on the sidewalk and blared my horn long and loud, refrained from telling her she was a stupid bitch, and then calmly drove off.

I apologized to Cole for my ugly behavior and foul mouth. It’s alright,” he said as he pulled his hood down and put his seat back up.” I just wanted to get out of your way because I had a feeling what was coming.” I smiled at him, not knowing if that was a good thing or not.

“She just messed with the wrong person who doesn’t take any crap,” he said. “Besides, maybe it was a good lesson for her. Maybe that’ll make her stop and think twice, the next time she’s in a big hurry.”

Maybe it will…

Anyone who now wants to gleefully throw all the warnings over Global Warming out the window, rush out and buy six SUVs which use fuel like a watermill uses water, just wait a minute here.  Read this first.

I’ve read a few of the leaked emails, and while there is definitely a problem here, I’m also glad that I’ve been reading about science and scientists, specifically their battle against those who call solid, undeniable science into question.  Complete morons can pounce on even the tiniest, most mundane and irrelevant crumbs and magically turn them into huge misconceptions which then take unbelievable effort from scientists to dispel.

Take this example: it will take me two seconds to type: “It’s a well-documented fact that Darwinism led directly to Nazism.”  Easy-peasy.  If I have some impressive-sounding title like Doctor Nadia Williams PhZ, Ft, MdSC, there are an awful lot of people who would assume without a moment’s hesitation that the letters I simply put together off the top of my head mean I know what I’m talking about.

Now, if you want to undo the damage I might have done there in under one minute, it would take you writing an article perhaps twenty times the length of the paragraph up there.  You’d have to make sure the audience understands what Darwinism is, address the fallacy of the Darwinism-Nazism link, perhaps delve into the origin of this misconception.  You’d then have to explain the abbreviations for degrees, show that no university in the world (I bloody well hope) has qualifications such as the ones I claim to have, perhaps research the institution I might claim to have studied through to earn the right to call myself ‘doctor’.

In your refutation, you can’t just suck facts from your thumb, you will have to go and research and verify your claims.  That means my five minutes’ effort to do damage can cost as many hours to undo, and even then, three quarters of my audience will probably never get to read your thoughtful, well researched reply.  They all will continue to believe Darwinism caused Nazism, and not only that, they’ll believe this is a well documented fact. I mean, that Doctor with all the degrees said so, didn’t she?

And in the time you’ve written your excellent rebuff of my claims, I will have written six more articles spreading lies.

To my mind the leaked emails have exposed a worrying tragedy: scientists can be so easily frustrated, tied up in trying to prove to those who can’t smell that crap stinks, that to me it looks as if they have become paranoid with making sure there are no tiny, irrelevant details in their research papers which can become weapons in the hands of the kooks. I remember once reading a heartbreaking piece from a young scientist who wrote a well researched paper, got it published, and had it so cut and hacked by the publisher that it said something completely different from the original.

Could it be that scientists have closed ranks, gone into a mode of being under siege?  If they did go so far as to act unethically to protect their hypotheses, I would ask: was this caused by a gradual move away from sound scientific method by the frustration of having to guard against fringe dissenters who could bog them down so easily and so thoroughly that they’d spend their lives clearing mud instead of doing the research that is vital to humanity’s wellbeing?

I’m also quite puzzled by why these emails should now scupper Obama’s proposals re cap and trade, and other measures against the effects of climate change, as that seems to be what quite a few opinion pieces online think will be the effect.  Hopefully that’s just the extreme opinions, but perhaps that just proves exactly what I’ve tried to say.  From the article I linked to above:

But do these revelations justify the sceptics’ claims that this is “the final nail in the coffin” of global warming theory? Not at all. They damage the credibility of three or four scientists. They raise questions about the integrity of one or perhaps two out of several hundred lines of evidence.

Science has to work a hell of a lot harder to be believed than to be disbelieved.  If you had to constantly fight against that, perhaps you, too, would start cutting corners.

If there’s one thing that gets me a bit miffed in the scientific community, it’s a lot of people’s scathing and derogatory comments about natural medicines, those who are natural medicine practitioners, and those who turn to natural medicine.  While on one hand I understand and fully agree with the view that practices such as acupuncture and homeopathy sometimes don’t make scientific sense, I feel there’s a rigidness in the thinking of a lot of negative opinions about natural medicines I see online which doesn’t sit well with me.

I was raised with homeopathy, and took my first antibiotic ever in my life when I was eighteen.  As a mother of young children, I preferred natural medicines as that was what I knew, and knew to be safe.  Please don’t misunderstand me here, I mean if the child was overtired and couldn’t sleep, not if it was deathly ill.  My daughter went to hospital when she got pneumonia, I’m not at the level where I’ll watch my child die while I faithfully give it some drops.

I had the good fortune to meet a pair of brothers who practiced homeopathy in Pretoria, South Africa: Ryan and Sean Penny.  I have to add here that practice of homeopathy is more regulated there.  I was quite shocked to come to Ireland to get the impression any old quack can just hang out a sign and declare himself a homeopathic doctor.  In SA, you have to first get a university degree, as far as I know. It’s a five-year course.  Before any skeptic reading this says: “Hmph.  Five years studying fairy tales doesn’t make any difference,” let me just point out that I’m sure doctors don’t spend their time in training learning only about medicines.  It’s about identifying disease, isn’t it?  From a quick look, it seems the degree in homeopathy includes anatomy, physiology etc. The difference lies in what you prescribe once you’ve identified what’s wrong with the patient.

Anyway, Sean Penny became our family doctor, so to speak, and this man really, to me, represented the attitude a doctor should have who specialises in natural medicines.  He never hesitated to recommend antibiotics (the law in South Africa allowed a homeopath to recommend, but not prescribe, antibiotics).  This happened when I got tickbite fever, and when one of my children had an ear infection.

Sean used a variety of natural medicines, importing herbal preparations from China in some instances, if I remember correctly.  I therefore don’t know if it is strictly correct to call him a homeopath – he used a variety of homeopathic and herbal medicines, but also prescribed dietary changes.

The difference I’ve found between him and the medical doctors I’ve dealt with, is that Sean tended to be much more holistic in his approach.  He didn’t just look at you, trying to match a medicine to your ailment, he tried to match a cure to your ailment.  And there is a difference there.

So the first point I want to make is: not all practitioners of natural medicine are anti-mainstream.

The second thing that comes to my mind is this: yes, clinical trials have had mixed results, often showing that homeopathy specifically has worked no better than placebos.  That’s fine.  What do I do now, then, with my own experience of trying natural medicine at times when I really just didn’t think it would work, and finding it did? That its efficacy exceeded my expectations?

Do I dismiss the experience of a friend who was very anti-natural medicines, but in desperation went to a Chinese herbal doctor when repeated courses of antibiotics just wouldn’t stop her son getting ear infections again and again and again.  She didn’t hold out much hope, it was a last-ditch effort as she was out of options.  Next time I visited, she was a believer: the ear infection the child had suffered from had cleared up, and not returned.

Another friend, a gifted and highly trained, qualified physiotherapist (no, not a chiropractor, a physiotherapist) told me once that she used a set of magnets applied in accordance to acupuncture principles.  The term she used was ‘acu-pressure’.  She shrugged (very down-to-earth, I love her to bits) and said: “I know there’s a lot of debate over the whole acupuncture thing, but all I know is, it works.  How, I’m not sure, but it does.”  Bear in mind, it wasn’t as if she announced loudly to the patient that she would now apply acupuncture-based treatment.  She applied good physiotherapeutic practice, experimented with this added treatment and found through applying it quietly that when she did, she got better results.

I know this is not by a long shot scientific evidence on which we should now rely unquestioningly.  However, I feel personally affronted when those turning to natural medicines of whatever description are ridiculed as gullible idiots.  There are instances where mainstream medicine simply does not work for some people, or for some illnesses.  Individuals try natural alternatives and find, often to their enormous surprise, that it works FOR THEM.  Why now attack them as morons like a pack of dogs?

Focus on those places where these things go wrong, such as when people are allowed to practice natural medicine without being properly regulated or qualified.  Focus on fanatics who encourage people to go off life-saving drugs in favour of natural medicines.  I am with you in condemning this.  To my mind, natural medicines should be seen as a support of mainstream medicine, and an alternative treatment for smaller ailments.  My regular doctor has remarked before that my body responds well to antibiotics, and I believe this is partly because I use it only when natural medicine is not appropriate or effective.

If you don’t feel the same, that’s your prerogative.  But don’t make me out to be an idiot just because I disagree with your views.

Think of a scene when you hear this music. Close your eyes and make out a movie. What do you see think hear? Tell us in the comments!!

Historically, the Devil has played a big part in barter, trade, and retail folklore.

Mephistopheles, the old retail master, has come a long way since that Faust legend of trading a soul for a wife.

These days we seem to be making all manner of deals with the Devil.

But the Devil doesn’t just want your soul anymore.

His standards for fair trade have changed a bit.

Hell is presently experiencing an economic glut in souls—supply is exceeding demand.

Mephistopheles will now accept other fees.

So if you’re looking for a good deal, Carpe Diem!

And right before Christmas, too!

Now, I’m no investment specialist, but I have noticed some real bargaining going on out there in the fray of our dealings with the Devil.

Most of these bargains come with Ginsu knives and many offer bonus deals if you dial 1-800-Gimme right now.

But if you go straight to the Devil’s warehouse, you can look in the Vanity Aisle, on the Convenience Shelf, into the Ignorance Case, (the one with fool proof glass) and on the Sale Rack of Fate, to find these special items and strike a bargain with the old trade master, in person.

Descriptions of what you can buy…and…What it will cost you—later.

Personal Convenience:

Easy to install and operate.

Runs on complete lack of responsibility with rechargeable credit cards, loaded with immediate gratification.

Comes with automatic thought controls and a powerful, spontaneous consumption engine that may be steered rampantly over human value, extinct species, healthy food, and personal integrity, by corporate propaganda.

A very reliable generator of justifications has been built in by marketing experts.

On the receipt is a coupon for two round trip tickets to bathe in Moon water after making a mess on Earth.

Bonus feature: Sturdy petroleum base product with Banker seal of approval.

Price to be paid: Social and Ecological Bankruptcy

Security

Includes a colorful alert system and a monitor enhanced with a panoramic view of all your neighbors, a specially designed toggle switch that leans to the right for easy operation, and a temporary thrill seeking device that allows the user to experience intermittent shock waves through media manipulation, inducing a euphoric inspiration to get naked in airports and a self righteous exhilaration derived from profiling races other than one’s own.

Price to be paid : Ten Bills of Rights and some change

Emotional Comfort:

Comes with smooth to swallow pills and easy to digest health related labels, which are artistically created in think tanks and laboratories to accommodate any sensitive reaction to a culture that is completely irrational and short sighted.

Guaranteed to alleviate that nagging feeling that something is very wrong here.

Provides a quick fix to any questioning type thinking and maintains a palatable social climate with a built in pull string lullaby to abate any revolting side effects.

Price:  Your Mental Stability and Confidence in Reality

Complacency

Gently used, and gift wrapped by indigenous people who are being exploited in places you’ve never heard of, so you don’t have to think about them while global homogenization settles like dust on your imported furniture.

This item is user friendly with flexibly lined edges and non resistant conformity for superior feelings of entitlement and relaxation.

One size potentially fits all. Diversity not included.

Price: Your Humanity

Spirituality:

This is an exceptionally good deal since the Devil doesn’t really need your soul any more.

You can obtain this item outside the Devil’s warehouse without a contract.

There are a myriad of Con men, Cult leaders, Megalomaniacs, New Age Promulgators of invented truths, and Predators of your need to find answers in a world gone nuts, who are willing to give you this for mere cash.

But for those other things—and more, you’re evidently gonna have to cut a deal with Mephistopheles.

Unlike Dr Faustus, your exchange contract may stipulate a collection due date that extends beyond twenty four years, so your kids might have to pay for these purchases later, but Hey, you get to have ‘em now!

And…

You get to keep your *Soul!

Woo Hoo!

*May be limited to what’s in store.

The attitudes of nursing staff in secure environments to young people who self-harm , Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing, Volume 16 Issue 10, Pages 947 - 951

T. DICKINSON, K. M. WRIGHT, J. HARRISON

¹ Senior Lecturer
University of Central Lancashire
Preston, Lancashire, UK
  ² Principal Lecturer
University of Central Lancashire
Preston, Lancashire, UK
  ³ Lecturer, University of Bradford, Yorkshire, UK
Lancashire Care staff can request the full-text of this paper, email: susan.jennings@lancashirecare.nhs.uk

Today, I won the Hexa Tennis Under 15s tournament for the 4th time in a row! I made it to the final with a lot of lack in consistency for my first match with a guy from ISB named, Natt. To make it to the final, I faced SHB player, Ken. In the extrodinary-celebration final, I played Natt’s brother Poo. [Yeah I know, funny name]. I won 7-5 [1], 6-2[2], and 6-3 [final] to take the glass-made cup. I will bring this trophy after school to show Mr.Sam  my 4th time achievment. I have the confidence to play my own birthday tennis cup. Anyone who wants to see the trophy- my mom will come after break on either Monday or Tuesday [according to her own convinience]

The overall standings look like this:

1. Ranvir- Nist

2. Poo-ISB

3. Ken-SHB

4. Big-ICS

5. Natt-ISB

6. Art- ICS

7. Kanpot-SHB

8.Poon-RIS

Now, to relate this win to class work, I will express my feelings through music because I love music. The music I would use is embedded below:

It is only 35 degrees outside – I’m freezing.  It is supposed to get up a lot warmer today – originally said mid-50’s but now it is high 40’s predicted.  I’m sick of them never being able to forecast the weather better.  Why do they get paid so much money if it is an “educated guess” when they are often more wrong then right.  I think they should get a demerit for every day they are wrong – then at the end of the year, if they have more demerits than days that were right – they have to take a $10,000 paycut for that next year.   I wish I could be wrong most of the time and still get paid well.

I slept in my bed last night – as usual when I sleep in it, I didn’t want to get up this morning – I was so darn comfy could have stayed there all day!  Today I am grouchy – the apartment is freezing.  I turned the heater on and it doesn’t seem to be heating at all so will probably have to call the maintenance man.  Ugh.  Does mail go today?

Even though it isn’t that warm, I’m still going to take the dogs to the dog park – they deserve it and it won’t be that cold to them with their winter fur.  Might be a trifle cold on their feet but I doubt it.  Bennie is so desperate for someone to play with that he keeps trying to stuff the sock in Baxter’s mouth since Baxter won’t play.  Baxter is in a mood because I’m in a mood.   He wants in the Christmas tree area and I won’t let him – he keeps eyeing it though so I know he is thinking about it anyway…little shit.

Next week I have the entire week off.  I hear it is supposed to snow – hope not.  I hate driving in the snow and I have places to go.  Ugh.

Well, the sales frenzy has begun for Black Friday.  I was at Wal-Mart earlier and they were expecting crowds start as early as midnight though a lot of the sales don’t start till 5am.  There was already one person in line waiting for some fantastic deal that starts at 5am in the electronics department.  I looked at the sales paper but didn’t see anything I thought was worth standing in line for over nine hours…guess I’m just a stick-in-the-mud.

Actually, I don’t plan on going anywhere tomorrow except to the dog park and to a store to get some milk.  Other than that, I plan on staying home – cleaning and relaxing now that NaNo is over.  I have to admit, I put back in a section I had taken out just to make up the word count – otherwise I don’t think I would have made it.  I had taken out a whole section that I didn’t think fit – I figured it would be a new story idea rather than including it as a subplot to this one.  However, it got to where I was falling too far behind so decided to put it back in.  I’m excited it is done but disappointed in the story overall – it didn’t turn out the way I had hoped at all.  It is not finished – probably another 10,000 words or so before it is done – but I’m not happy with it so not sure when I’ll work on it again.

I wanted so much to write a good, scary sci-fi book but it lacks a lot in both the good and the scary fields.  I dunno – it is the first scary story I have written – supernatural scary not serial killer scary.  Oh well.

On a different note, I couldn’t find Baxter there for a few minutes – kept calling to him and he wouldn’t come out so I shook the dog treat bag.  He poked his head out then – I wasn’t very happy with him.  He had gotten under the tree and was laying down on the railroad tracks.  Maybe he was going to do suicide by train…

Baxter takes great offense when I won’t grant him access to every area of the house.  If I restrict him from somewhere then he just has to go in there anyway.  It is very aggravating.  He knew he wasn’t allowed in the tree area but it didn’t stop him from going in when I wasn’t looking.  Last thing I want is for him to knock over the tree or break something under it.

Well, as I said it is after 1am so I am going to go to bed.  I had to drink a cup of coffee and juice on the way home to keep from falling asleep – seriously, I was in danger of nodding off a time or two while driving.  So I need to go to bed now so I can get up at a decent hour tomorrow.  I need to do laundry and clean.  Got my Christmas cards started too.  They are oversized so I’m wondering if they will require extra postage.

I am putting the wolf return address sticker on the back rather than where it belongs because the company left off most of my zip code so they are worthless for anything else.   

We love Romania. It is an extremely beautiful country with a lot of contrasts. In all ways. And there is plenty to do for all kinds of tourists. Young and old. The lazy or the active tourist. Romania has mountains, beaches, rivers, big cities with urban wibe, whatever… There are a few drawbacks however.Things are not always working as they should do. It may be service, it may be the sanitation, the tidiness, the timing. And when faced with that many Romanians complain about lack of money and funds, which may be true – but several times it is something else: THE ATTITUDE. The will and the drive to do a little bit extra. To not follow the crowd of indifferent people but be the change. And this is free. The big monster in this country is the indifference. There are reasons and maybe even good reasons for this indifference, but if things are going to be better and good, we all have to do our little extra and change our attitude. All at no financial cost. | wm

How do you handle someone who simply cannot, will not, allow a day to pass without some sort of complaint, whining or negative commentary?

I try very hard to be upbeat, to keep a positive outlook, despite the fact that I live with chronic pain and debilitating disability. Some days I don’t win the battle against my own depression, but I certainly give it my best effort.

I have a lot of friends who live with chronic pain and disability. Yes, all of us vent, rant and rave from time to time. We rage against our pain and disability, but most of us are able to find something about every day to keep us ‘moving forward’ and to be positive about. Most of us also understand that our attitude can affect not only our own outlook, but those of the people around us.

I’m all for expressing one’s feelings, for letting the bad stuff out, but really, is every day so miserable that it requires complaints, whining and groaning about something?

Overreacting, dramatizing everything and exaggerating doesn’t do anyone any good. It’s so unproductive in the greater scheme of things.

After a while, the folks who can’t seem to ever find a moment of peace, find themselves alone, avoided, distance growing between them and their ‘friends’. Friends tire of always having to reassure, lift up and boost the egos of these folks. It becomes difficult to know what to say, especially if you yourself are going through rough times or suffering in some way.

I know that, like many of my friends, keeping myself ‘up’ is a full-time job. Some days I don’t succeed. Some days we all need to just let the darkness win, but we recharge, take stock of ourselves and fight our way back into the light.

I wish folks would think about others, think about how their negativity effects others.

Please? Every person is capable of finding something good in their lives, something to appreciate, something to celebrate, rather than nothing but misery. Is it really all that hard to be positive once in a while?

*Please don’t think this is about you. I just needed to get these thoughts off my chest.

This morning I listened to the Ray D’Arcy show on Today FM.  He read an email from a listener, who responded to a comment Ray had made yesterday that we should stop trying to lay blame for the current economic crisis and instead focus on working together, pulling together and getting through it.

I don’t think the text of the email is available online, so you’ll have to go by my memory here.  This lady’s father had run his own business for 45 years.  When the crisis struck, his was one of the operations that were hit badly and he had to let his eight staff go.  Weeks later, he was diagnosed with Lymphoma (I think it was that, it was a form of cancer, in any case) and he had no choice but to stop working altogether, and close his business down.  His insurance didn’t cover all his medical costs, and the whole family helped as much as they could to pay the bills.

A month after his diagnosis, he received a tax bill resulting from the closure of his business (WFT?  Someone’s business goes down and you then screw them for yet more tax?  But let me finish the story before I start ranting).  They sold their car, their son and daughter both sold their cars as well, and with that money settled part of the bill.  With the help of both an accountant and a solicitor, he made an arrangement to repay the balance monthly.

He’d paid a few months’ instalments, on time, the agreed monthly amount in full, when one night at 11pm, the sheriff arrived, waved a warrant under the wheelchair-bound man’s nose and started taking everything that was not cemented down from the house.

The writer’s father showed the sheriff the letters from revenue agreeing to the monthly payments, he asked for 24 hours grace so that he could contact Revenue and find out what the hell was going on, but he was, to use her word, “rebuffed”.

The mother phoned her daughter (the writer of the email) at work in tears, distraught.  She went immediately to try and help, but was flatly ignored.  Neighbours tried to intervene, and the Guards (police) were called.  They warned neighbours to back off or be arrested.

These arseholes took everything, except the fridge, though they wanted to and checked to see how much food was in it.  They took the wheelchair-bound man’s buggy which he used to get around outside.  They took the small gifts the grandparents had bought for their granddaughter’s eighth birthday, which was the next day.

As soon as their office opened, the shocked family phoned Revenue to ask what the hell was going on, and how it could be fixed.  They were informed that the matter was out of Revenue’s hands now, and in the hands of the Sheriff.

Her father just gave up after that.  He managed to raise two thousand Euro more from what he had left, paid it over, and fell into decline.  He is now dead, only a short while after this ordeal: not from his cancer, but from a stress-induced heart attack.

It doesn’t end there.  Revenue still sends letters demanding their money to this day.  The outstanding amount remaining?  One thousand Euro.

Way to go, Revenue.  That money was certainly worth someone’s life.

There are so many times when people can follow the rules, go by the book, and use that to inflict despicable, inhumane, cruel treatment on fellow human beings.  I’ve said in a previous post as well that there are times when someone can do things to another which can be made to sound as if it’s not such a big deal, but if you step back and just use your brain, embrace the fact that whether or not this world is a good place to live in is up to YOU, you will realise that such behaviour is unspeakably cruel.

There were many texts and emails sent in response to the story, most expressing shock and outrage.  What was more worrying was that there were numerous people confirming that this kind of treatment is not some freak accident, some exception to the rule, terstifying that they made arrangements to pay their bills in instalments and were still handed over to the collectors.  That the agreed amount was constantly and arbitrarily changed for no discernable reason.  That collectors used intimidating tactics more in line with some Mafia operation than a government institution.

The head of the Revenue Service, whose name I can’t remember now and can’t find quickly, gave a phone interview on the show to respond to this story.  It was just outrageous to hear him trying to avoid admitting that he is ultimately responsible for what these thugs did, and still do, to those who are in financial trouble.  Like a fucking eel.

But was it outrageous?

In the purest meaning of the word – causing outrage – I suppose it was.  But in the sense of this being something out of the ordinary?  No.  So a government man (would this guy be a politician?) is a slippery, slidey arsehole who is like a quadruple-covered teflon pan is to an oiled pancake when it comes to taking responsibility for something bad.

What else is new?

And this is the question that weighs me down right now: how will this ever change?  Democracy is somehow broken.  Governments are cumbersome, creaky, inefficient, unfriendly, bloated, sick institutions the world over.  We, the people, choose who governs us, but what choices are there for us?  In my frustration I think that only people attracted to power and privilege are attracted to politics, not those who want ot make the country run better and more efficiently.  Election time seems to give us the marvellous choice: do you want arsehole A or arsehole B to call the shots?

What I find even more exasperating is that people still admire those who have screwed them over with a giant cucumber.  Charles Haughey stole MILIONS from this little country when it could ill afford leaking money from every pore.  Bertie Ahern looks in many ways to have lined his pockets as best he could.  And they are loved and admired.

In Britain, politicians across the board made use of every possible opportunity to suck every penny they could from legitimate allowances, doing the wrong thing again because hey, it was sort of possible to read the rules that way.  What about common sense and decency, for heaven’s sake? What about not just grabbing everything you possibly can because in your heart, you know it’s not right?

Ireland and Britain, at the very least, seem infested with politicians who are parasites.  And Africa… oh, gods, let’s not even go there.

How do we change this?  For all our right to vote (well, except for us immigrants, hehe), we are powerless to fix the festering, distended monsters that are our governments.  Politicians promise whatever they have to, in order to gain the power they crave.  And then?  Then they set about enriching themselves as much as they can for as long as they can.

Okay, I’m cooling down a bit now.  I will be happy to concede that there probably are loads of people in politics who are in there not for the thrill of the power, for the adrenaline rush of getting away with murder.  I know there is at least one politician in Ireland who said no thank you to her luxury, top-of-the-range government car, reasoning that her Toyota Camry is perfectly capable of getting her from point A to point B.  I realise that possibly the view I expressed above is very much mistaken, that politicians in government might be doing a difficult job with the best of intentions.

That still doesn’t change the fact that things are not the way I’m sure most people would want them to be.  We still have several million Euro inquests into wrongdoing so sneaky and so tangled that it takes years to unravel.

And there is no prospect of alternatives that give me even the slightest hope that things might change.

A change promised, on knees and pleas
Asking and announcing a dreamy dawn
With words that soothed a troubled terror
And our unthinking hearts ruled the mind
Trusting a chance and a courage of will
Unable not to hope in a penitent politician

Speak not with smiles, but ask our fate
A sorrowful state unshelled in shackles
Staggering a self-pity, in change’s name
Our heads reeled, stunned by your clout
Unable to conceive meaning, forgive us
But do ask us, once only, our aspirations

Reality has eclipsed our obscured dreams
How can we tap a dance to a tune offbeat?
Our senses insensated by your insensitivity
If we knew, that a sun’s shine could fade
A river’s flow stilled and distilled as drink
Served as wine for dinner, or twas a party?

The gluttony of power, a blinding light
Did cast darkness over your grand vision
Our wounds and aches you did not bear
The woes we sanctified you to eradicate
Our ignorance, your sanctuary of strength
Your intent, worse than our feared fears

Again, you come, to seek and to receive
Our faithfulness, a pledge of our sanity
On a warm day, when a charcoal glows
And a vulture circles above your highness
Asserting your feats in feasts of fulfilment
With specious stories to alter our attitudes

Our hearts’ been punctured in two places
Thus our unflinching wits weave our views
Dispelling the twists and suspense of logic
Our thoughts think and we discern a dawn
We seek a frank reality, not your imaginings
Too long, a perfect lie lived in our name

We cannot visualize your vision, you didn’t
We witnessed your antics, our eyes and ears
Your pomp unmasked in fresh dainty daisies
Demanding the annals to spell you a tribute
The cock crowed at noon, have you heard?
As presaged by the fetish of mumbled words

How soon a sun sets, the twilight has come
We, mere spectators have become judges
Unlike you, we are incorrupt and fairly fair
You are flabby and ailing, what can you offer?
Your image depicts an apology and regret
Sadly sloshed beside stinking shades of frolics

Failed, is a slighted word for your reign
Your ego forth all the differing opinions
Our yearnings and your vision run parallel
Like Achilles, fighting for King Agamemnon
What are we without you, a mystified mob?
Take a rest; stand in the shade and observe

I was looking over my Thanksgiving post from last year, and am happy to report that nearly everything on last year’s list is still gratefully on this year’s thanksgiving list! The only changes are that I am no longer working from my own custom office, and that I am not attending a local Curves in my new state. The other 23 from last year are still definitely worth reading!

Here are more celebrations of gratitude from this year:

I am thankful for:

• Hope
• DVR
• Inspiration in the early morning hours
• The look on someone’s face when they are truly happy to see me
• My washer and dryer
• A simple house full of love
• The looks on my kids faces through the years on Christmas morning
• Unconditional positive regard
• A really good meal when I am truly good and hungry
• Flowers for no reason
• Warm sun in the middle of winter
• That there *is* such a thing as falling in love
• Unexpected reprieves from pain
• Laughter
• Open hearts and open arms of true friends
• A good book, comfy chair, and latte at Borders
• Competent and compassionate colleagues
• My little brothers who always had my back and treated me like a queen
• Generosity and genuineness
• Music: playing, singing, listening
• My magnificent incomparable brilliant fist born son. He has brought only joy to me since the first moment I heard “you have a son.” He is a man of kindness and conviction.
• My daughter that I did not need to give birth to. She is one of the best investments I have made! A decade of parenting and patience, and now she takes care of me as much (or more than) I take care of her.
• My youngest son that I did not bring into this world, but have guided from toddler-hood into teen land. This little fella, I am quite sure, would jump head first through fire for me!
• My spouse. Before whom I had had not known or experienced unconditional love and devotion.

Caution! Teens in the vicinity! Parents proceed with caution!!

This is the “cone” in the “construction zone” that every parent must navigate who has teenagers. {sigh}

As I am delighted with the quality of service and value for money which are now beginning to receive I was really cross when one of the service providers challenged me to find out whether I had called our landlord’s Customer Services to complain about poor service and alleged failure to attend.

I was singularly cross by this and in particular the inference that the tenant had made this complaint and was speaking on behalf of all of us.  I have not given anyone the right to speak for me or include me in their complaints about any aspect of service delivery because they are speaking for themselves alone.

at last i have another project and it so happens its my fave ic. and this time i can handle myself much better because i had a lot of time to asses what causes my “crying spells ”  so i know what to do this time

I went to Down Down on youtube today. I found Alvin and the chipmunks singing the down version of J Sean and Lil Wayne. The video is embeded below: More will be posted daily

I really liked what Amy wrote in her reflection for homework yesterday:

“The most memorable moment for me was when we created the camp sites because it’s something different and this activity has turned me into a different person. While we were creating the campsite I felt surprised of how people treat each other. That’s a different feeling. I have never felt this surprised before.”

What do you think? Were you just as surprised as Amy was by the way that you all treated each other in the Camp Site Challenge? What kind of behaviour surprised you?