As we have discussed, it is important to be the only person of color in the room at any given time or event. Having more than one of us around can lead to all sorts of miscommunication, embarrassing run-ins and tempt either of you to discuss common race-related issues that might trigger a long latent desire to read some Nikki Giovanni.                                                                             

But sometimes a room is crowded, dark or split-level. So how do you both determine if there are any of colors in the vicinity and relax enough to proudly show off the pictures from Inverness on your iPhone?

Instead of prowling from corner to corner paper bag testing everyone you come into contact with, just look for a few key things to see if you are safe.  

• 1. People never seem to quite finish the sentences: “So…you’re here with…..” or “You must be here to see…….” or “You must know Carol from……..”

• 2. You are at the Viper Room.

• 3. The DJ suddenly changes the music from relatively ambient Slowdive and Neutral Milk Machine and includes a random cameo like Baby Got Back. Then a dance circle forms around you. Don’t panic, after they see your first perfectly precise box step, they’ll get the idea.

• 4. People ask you oddly practical questions out of the blue like “Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?” “What time does are you closing tonight?” and “Can I give you my coat?”

• 5. You cannot quite find the words to describe your complete and utter sense of relaxation. 

If these elements are in place, enjoy your party! And be sure to try the tapenade.

Love is a many splendored thing…but sometimes not even that is enough to keep you from stabbing your betrothed in the butt with a steak knife during an argument.

A Haughton woman was arrested this weekend after an argument led her to stab her boyfriend in the buttocks.
According to the Bossier Parish Sheriff’s Office,Lisa Scott Nalepa, 48, of the 5200 block of Blue Royale, was taken into custody for domestic abuse/aggravated battery Sunday.

Nalepa was arrested after Bossier Sheriff’s deputies were sent to her residence on a domestic disturbance call. 

When the deputies arrived, Nalepa and her 10-year, live-in boyfriend were still arguing.

The boyfriend told deputies he and Nalepa were arguing over a cell phone when Nalepa stabbed him in the buttocks with a two-inch steak knife.  Deputies say the boyfriend had a visible one-half inch gash on his buttocks.

straight up, this is terrible. it doesn’t even work on a humor level. it just never stops and only gets more embarrassing as it goes on. fuck this band.

Good LAWD! Dat Bitch Got Some Back!

Damn… dammit to hell, that would be one hard account to service.

I don’t know what it is about those corn-fed big ass liberal democrat wimmins but JEEZ!  Sheesh. 

Never mind, beast, you just don’t get it. Everything about you screams, BIG FAT FUCKING DEMOCRAT. 

Connie Morella was no more a Republican than you but at least she looked like a female and had an education.

What were you thinking, free donuts or something?  Next thing we know, we’ll have video clips of you and Governor Patterson in some compromising or indelicate display of… whatever you call that lapse of judgment.

People as you are why I am NOT a Republican.  Not to worry, you and Gingrich run along with your program.  Conservatives are not listening, not paying and not voting for this kind of shit, anymore.

This and other SF oddities found over at Bikes and the City.

*talking*

Oh. my. gosh.Becky, look at that butt.
That diaper’s big.
It looks like one of those diaper commercials.
Who understands those commercials?
They only talk to about poop because they can make a lot of money,ok?
I mean that butt!It’s just so big!
I can’t believe–it’s just so round!It’s just so out there!
I mean, *GROSS*
It’s full of crap!

*rap*

I like clean butts and I cannot lie.
You other mothers can’t deny
That when a kid walks in with diaper full of waste
And it hits you in your face
You go numb!
Ya’ gotta be all tough
Cuz you know that that diaper’s stuffed!
Deep in the jeans she’s wearin’
Is goo and I can’t stop swearin’.

Oh, baby, don’t wanna be near ya’
Or even hear  ya’.
My playgroup tried to warn me
’Cause that butt you got
Makes m-m-me so ornery!

Ooh, little Miss Smooth Skin
You say you wanna play with your friends?
Well ‘scuse me ‘scuse me
That diaper’s full of poopey!

I see her playin’
With that diaper swayin’
It’s wet, yet, that’s not the worst it can get.

I’m tired of magazines
Making diapers look all clean.
Take the average momma and tell her that
She’ll say you’re full of crap!

So mommas (yeah!) mommas (yeah!)
Your kiddo got a stinky butt? (Heck yeah!)
It’s time to change it, (change it), change it,(change it),
change that nasty butt!

Baby’s got crap!
(Gerber face with a barnyard booty!)
Baby’s got crap!

If that didn’t make any sense to you, you can look up Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot on YouTube. But don’t watch the real video, because when MTV bans your video when it first comes out…um, yeah.

Anyhow, now it is out of my head and I can move on with my life.

Alltså, är det inte dags att någon tar tag i saken? Det har ju gått flera år utan att vi egentligen kommit fram till en gemensam slutsats. Så kan vi inte riktigt ha det eller hur? Dags att lösa gåtan således:
vilka låtar mellan 1987 – 1994 blev de mest sönderspelade på MTV och senare VH1?
Kriteriet är som följer.
*Låten skall egentligen vara alldeles lysande och du gillade den skarpt de första femtio gångerna.
*Efter “Heavy Rotation” i Tungstensklass var du så jävla less på den att du ville sparka in ansiktet på Ray Cook. Plus att alla jävla töntar också började gilla den. Precis lagom tills du avskydde den.

Exempelvis: Sir-Mix-a-Lot får inte vara med för deras “Baby got back” var skitkass från start.
Det är dock helt ok att ha omvärderat låten och gilla den idag.
Ni är med på noterna?

Först ut Beck – Looser. Jag älskade den här låten, och för den delen hela albumet. Textraden “going crazy with the cheese wizz” är briljant. Dessvärre upptäckte snart kreti & pleti* låten och Beck blev en skojsig kille med knasiga texter som till och med mamma nynnade på. Frasen “I´m a looser baby” blev snart på var mans läppar i klass med “det är en evighetsmaskin“. Och det blev helt kört när Markoolio tog hand om den. Jag har fortfarande inte riktigt hämtat mig.

(Trivia: vid 0.22 vet gamla Popläsare att det är en stormtrooperhjälm han bär. Den är utsuddad p.g.a rättighetsproblemen med Lucas Arts)

Why isn’t anyone doing an intervention with this woman?  It is clear to me that she may have an eating disorder.  Just take a look at these pictures which were snapped of Posh this week in London. 

Uh, that bony back frightens me even more than her back tatoo.  Posh is 35-year-old woman and has the body of a sixth grade girl in my opinion. 

This former Spice Girl was in London celebrating the 25 Years of London Fashion Week.  Posh, there is nothing fashionable about having a possible eating disorder.  Showing off this thin of a body just scares people.  I’m thinking you’d be more comfortable walking along the Ghosts and Gas Lamps Tour that begins in Trafalgar Square most nights.  Thin, pale and sickly looking people never should wear white after 6pm.   

I’m frightened by this pics, and even more frightened by reports that she is working out up to five times per day, trying to lose excess skin.  Hello, can you see she is looking more and more like Skeletor (Well, at least in the face) every day?

 FYI – Back in the 1920’s, the definition of Posh was - Interjection  (used as an exclamation of contempt or disgust.)  I see this meaning making a comeback soon after getting a look at these pics.

People, even though I am making some jokes here, I truly believe that woman as skinny as Mrs. Beckham are not attractive.  To me, a woman should have curves and look healthy, and have a body.  Even though I was a size three/four back in the old days, it was only because I was starving due to poverty as I grew up on welfare.  I hid my body under baggy clothing because it embarrassed me to show it off.  I realize some people are naturally skinny, and some natrually not skinny, and I’m not criticizing those who do have trouble gaining or losing weight.  I’m just saying I’ve seen old pics of Posh and can see how much better she looked with more weight on her frame.  I just personally feel a size six is the skinnest a person should ever go.  What do you think?  What is your ideal of beauty? 

Here are some pics of the celebrities I feel that have great womanly bodies who look truly Posh.

Christina Hendricks from Mad Men

Monica Belluci from The Matrix

Jennifer Lopez as in JLo!!!

After leaving work yesterday, I headed over to the Brooklyn Book Festival held right outside the Brooklyn courthouse. Although I arrived just shy of the fest’s end, I was able to speak to a few authors, including the author of Florence Ballard’s autobiography, Peter Benjaminson and check out some titles. The event, which is in it’s forth year, brought out a range of people from young illustrated book lovers to literary fiends looking to get their author fix. The authors were also as diverse, from emerging, locally grown writers to celebrated authors.

One of the most random, but personally nostalgic moments was when a singer equipped with his acoustic guitar took the main stage and performed a country rendition of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” As he sang the versus, the crowd cooed the chorus, “L.A. face with an Oakland booty.”

The quality is a bit grainy but check out the footage because his performance is a must see.

UPDATE: I just found out that the performers name is Jonathan Coulton

…In case you forgot the orginal, here ya go (The performer sings the first verse)

Today is a Rest Day so I slept in a bit and did some strength training in my living room If I was consistent with this I know I would see results fast since I’m built to last.

My breakfast yesterday was so satisfying I decided to make the same thing again Today I added some of those Yogi Crisps. You can eat them dry or use them as cereal. Yogurt, cereal, banana, PB and soymilk…

Two more days until Belize! I am excited But I really wish there was one of those spray tan places nearby. I don’t tan outside or use a tanning booth, but I swear by Mystic Tan. I miss Orange County where there was Mystic everywhere…I have no idea why I was born so light – the only things I got out of my Mexican genes are a big booty and rhythm…

Hahahahah. I don’t think I can describe how hilarious this is to me. Sums up a couple people I know.

I’m sure everyone has seen this by now. It hurts to watch it.

Not as cute/funny at the popular wedding entrance video that has been circulating around, but I still love it.

I’m training for a Half Marathon, so I’m out and about on the paths near my house.  These paths have a ton of bikers.  Ahem, cyclists.  So during a 5k run, I may see like 30-50 cyclists.  They don’t say much to me, but I’ll get an occasional “on your left!” 

So I’m running yesterday.  (I walk/run combo…but at this time I happened to be running.)  I’m in the zone, as they say, just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other so I don’t die.  I look up.  Black dude on a bike coming towards me.  Not a normal site – and probably the second one I’ve seen this summer.

So the dude gets closer.  He looks at me and with much enthusiasm says, ‘GOOD JOB!!!!” and gives me a thumbs up. 

Really?  The one black dude I pass says something to me?!?!?  NEVER had a white guy say something.  Hmm.  Must be the booty.

Lee Norris first worked his way into the hearts of young viewers as Stewart Minkus on the ABC hit Boy Meets World.  Exactly 10 years after BMW’s debut, Norris took on the role of Marvin “Mouth” McFadden on One Tree Hill.  Nearly six years later, Norris is still going strong as OTH goes into its seventh season.

In an exclusive interview for TDW, Norris reflected on his favorite storylines,  traveling for the show and who he wants to be Mrs. McFadden…

TeenDramaWhore: I recently rewatched the early season 1 episodes of One Tree Hill and it was amazing to see Mouth’s origins compared to where he is now.  He had such a small role in the beginning.  Did you have any idea how the role and character would evolve?

Lee Norris: I really had no idea.  During the pilot and Season 1, I was still a full-time college student at Wake Forest University.  I would get these scripts Fed-Ex’d to my dorm room and each time I got one delivered, it was a surprise.  I wasn’t under any sort of contract at that point, so I never knew how many episodes I’d be involved in.

I had a few conversations with Mark Schwahn, our creator, and he told me that he really believed in the character and thought it added an interesting element to the show.  I think the big turning point was when Mouth did the cheerleading routine in the first season [ed. note: Episode 1.17, Spirit in the Night].  It was so quirky and different and it got a great response from the fans… and then Mark started building the character from there.  I was so grateful that there were fans out there who identified with Mouth — girls and guys — that were the kids in high school who floated between all the different social cliques.  To be made a series regular was really rewarding for me, but also felt very natural since my character had been there since the Pilot episode.  So no, I had no idea what was in store for me, but I’ve been extremely grateful.

TDW: Do you and Mouth share any similarities?  Do you have any interest in sports or journalism?

Norris: Sure, we have some similarities.  He’s kind of spontaneous in that “Baby Got Back”-at-karaoke-night kind of way, haha, [ed. note: Episode 2.5, I Will Dare] and I like to have fun like that.  Don’t be looking for me at karaoke joints, but I do like to have fun.  I think he is a fiercely loyal friend, and that’s something I try to mirror in my life.  But he’s also done some really dumb things relationship wise, haha, so I’d like to think we’re not similar in that respect.

I love sports… when I auditioned for the role, I wore my Wake Forest basketball t-shirt to the audition, and Mark gave me a little grief because he went to Maryland (an ACC rival).  And in terms of journalism, I was an English major in school and I wrote for the school newspaper in high-school, so that’s sort of a natural fit as well.

TDW: Do you have a favorite episode, storyline or scene?

Norris: My favorite episode is still the school shooting episode [ed. note: Episode 3.16, With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept] .  But I also love any of the scenes where it’s basically the whole cast together.  When you get all of us in the same scene, it’s crazy!  Usually it involves a late night of shooting and everyone gets kind of loopy, and those are the most fun.  I also liked the storyline dealing with Mouth’s grandpa [ed. note: Episode 3.7, Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends].  It was nice to see someone in his family, and I also got to interact with Hilarie [Burton, Peyton] in that storyline and we had never gotten to do much together before.

TDW: I recently interviewed Allison Scagliotti (Abby) about the school shooting storyline, which is a fan favorite.  What do you remember from the filming of those episodes?  How did you initially react when you found out about the storyline?

Norris: As I said, that is my favorite episode.  When I heard about it, I just thought it was really smart.  Mark took this old character in Jimmy Edwards [Colin Fickes], who hadn’t been around in seasons, and used his re-emergence to tell this amazingly powerful story about life in high-school as an outsider.  It was really controversial and he had to fight really hard to get the episode made, but it was definitely worth it.  All of the actors and crew put in the longest hours on that episode and everyone really stepped up their game.

Those of us who were locked in the tutor center would file into this little room day after day and film these emotionally draining scenes, and I remember doing this part where Mouth sort of breaks down.  And I was really drained afterwards and [Bethany Joy Galeotti, Haley] looked at me and gave me some really encouraging words.  Little things like that stick in my memory.  This is random, but I remember listening to “Fix You,” by Coldplay the whole time I filmed that episode.  I’m really proud of the work we did, and I think it really set us apart from some other teen shows in that it had a lot of heart.

TDW: Do you have a favorite memory from the set?

Norris: It’s tough to pick just one after 6 1/2 years.  Two of my favorite memories involve episodes where the entire company traveled.  Early on we went to Myrtle Beach to film, and more recently we went to Honey Grove, Texas.  On the Myrtle Beach trip, we were all staying in the same hotel and it was like summer camp.  We all snuck down to the pool after hours and went swimming, so that was pretty fun.

And then in Texas, we got to watch an episode of the show with the kids who won the contest to bring our show to their town.  We literally sat in one of their living rooms and watched an episode with them, and it was so surreal to see them look at the TV screen and then look at us sitting in the room with them.  During certain parts of the episode, they would cry, laugh, etc., and it was just awesome to see our little show affect people that we had never even met before.

TDW: Mouth has had several relationships on the show but also very strong friendships with Brooke (Sophia Bush) and Rachel (Danneel Harris).  Why do you think that is?

Norris: I honestly don’t know why he’s had so many relationships.  As an actor, it’s not really my place to question the storylines, though.  Our writers have gotten us to 7 seasons, so I trust them even if I don’t always understand something.  Mouth was never a jock or a pretty-boy, so-to-speak, so it’s not surprising that his romantic aspirations with Brooke and Rachel didn’t really pan out.  But I think he had good friendships with them because he truly liked them as people, and not just because of how ‘hot’ they were.

TDW: Mouth and Millicent have hit several bumps in their relationship, whether it be Gigi, Owen or job opportunities.  Do you think they’ll last?  Do you want them to?

Norris: I think they will last, and I’d be happy to see that.  Lisa Goldstein, who plays Millie, is so awesome and we have the best time working together.  We both went to school in North Carolina and we have a lot of similar interests, so it’s very easy chemistry with her.  Gigi and Owen are just two obstacles that they had to overcome.  I think any great relationship that is worthwhile will always be tested.

TDW: What was your reaction when you found out they were bringing Gigi back?

Norris: On a personal level, Kelsey Chow who plays Gigi is the sweetest girl, so I was happy to work with her again.  On the storyline side, again, it’s not really important what I think.  No matter what I’m given to do, I just try and commit to it and make the most out of it.  There are people out there who passionately love my character and those who can’t stand him.  You’re never going to make everyone happy, but for those out there who watch our show with an open mind, and for those who identify with my character, they are the reasons that I work so hard.  I’m so grateful for my job and my fans, and they deserve nothing but the absolute best from me, no matter how I might feel about a particular storyline.

TDW: In season 5, the show jumped ahead four years and now there will be another jump.  Where do you think Mouth will be in another 5 years?

Norris: At the end of last season, Mouth made it pretty clear that he was happy with his job and with his girl, so hopefully he’ll still be involved with both in 5 years, although it might be nice if Millie was Mrs. McFadden at that point!

TDW: What can you tell us about the upcoming season and your storylines?  Will you be a regular and on for the whole season?

Norris: Yes, I’m signed on for this season.  I mentioned in another interview that I had to do some naked scenes, and the interviewer incorrectly assumed that it meant love scenes between me and Millie [ed. note: I think he's referring to this]. My naked stuff is actually funny stuff, not romantic.  I read a comment from a girl who is apparently horrified about seeing me partially naked; that made me laugh!  I love how passionate our fans are.  Don’t worry girls, if I’m not your cup of tea there will be plenty of nakedness from the other guys on the show.  But on a more serious note, I really like where Mouth is headed this year.  Nothing is drastically different, but he’s going to face some tough dilemmas where he has to choose between his career and personal life.  And Millie has a really interesting arc this season, so we’ll see how Mouth deals with that.

TDW: Which role are you recognized for more: Mouth or Stewart Minkus on Boy Meets World?

Norris: It used to be Minkus all the time, but now that OTH is re-running everyday on SoapNet, it’s kind of a toss up.  Older fans tend to know me as Minkus, or even Chuckie Lee from ‘The Torkelsons,’ but OTH is popular with all age groups… I’ve had grandmas come up to me.  One lady kept calling me “Mouse,” I didn’t have the heart to correct her, haha.

TDW: Are you still in touch with any of the BMW cast?

Norris: Not really, unfortunately.  Most of them live on the West coast and it’s been so many years.  I hope they’re all well, it would be fun to reconnect sometime.

TDW: What is your upcoming movie, Blood Done Sign My Name, about? Does it have a release date yet?

Norris: It’s a true story about a racial murder in North Carolina that happened in the Vietnam War era.  I played one of the accused murderers, so it was completely different for me.  It’s an independent film and it deals with such a controversial subject, so I believe they’re still trying to figure out the best way and time to release it.  It was a great experience and I hope people get to see it.

TDW: Lastly, there are a lot of people on Twitter claiming to be One Tree Hill actors but are actually impostors.  Have you thought about getting your own account?

Norris: There are people that pretend to be me on Twitter, Facebook, etc.  It’s flattering in one respect, but at the same time it’s kind of a drag because they’ll write things I’d never write, or deny friend requests, etc.  I don’t think I’ll be doing any of that.  I occasionally post messages on OTHForums.com and I like that medium for interacting with the fans.  Also, I have some amazingly talented fans that started lee-norris.net and leemichaelnorris.com, so if anyone wants to know what’s going on in my career, they can always check those out.

Click here to see a picture of Norris and me from last year!

Come back next Sunday for another exclusive interview!

TDW Interview Index

For my mom’s birthday, we celebrated over a lobster dinner. 

Party in the sink.

Not a happy camper.

That was the first time I had lobster in a long time, so I enjoyed it a lot. But just as a note, lobsters are messy.

Tonight, I went to a neighborhood block party, heyyyy. It wasn’t bumpin’ with a whole bunch of people, but these kids bursting with energy made an appearance. 

Baby Got Back

They look small, but once they're on you they weigh 500 pounds.

A round of backyard volleyball was also played. And can I say that with a record of 40 “ups”, our team is looking good. 

When you can’t feel your thighs cause the kid on your lap is squishing you…

When you’ve forgotten what’s like to play real volleyball…

When Doublestuff oreos hurt your tummy after polishing a whole pack…

That’s what I call fun. 

Love,

Emmy

on the surface, much of what karaoke patrons (i call them Konquistadors) elect to perform seems to be done so under the veil of irony. after years of experience in the field (is there such a thing?) of karaoke i can assure you that this not quite the case. sure, irony has its important place in driving the karaoke engine, but let’s not kid ourselves: you really secretly love “baby got back”. just admit it. it might be part nostalgia, and it might be part irony, but we all know what you’re really doing: living the dream.

don’t be embarrassed! we all did it. we all competed with our friends to see who knew more of “ice ice baby” or choreographed a dance routine to “straight up”. we all really, really wanted to be axel rose. (except for me. i was a weird al fan.) just admit it! karaoke for us is really just a way for us to finally live out our childhood fantasies of performing that one song, that you say you hate now, so that you could win over that hot boy/girl who wouldn’t talk to you. what boy my age didn’t copy boyz II men lyrics in a note and pass them to that one girl who got breasts before everyone else?

so next time you laugh and poke fun at the wormy guy who’s singing “stay”, remember the lisa loeb cd you still have packed away at your parent’s house.

-skip

-I’m slick with observing.

I just love a female’s rump, one big, thick & juicy
But not when it jiggles & shakes about too loosely
I see myself settling for one way smaller in size
It’s more to a person than what meets the eyes

But I do like rumps especially when they standout
I sometimes can’t help but to dribble at the mouth
I’m slick with observing, I’ve got to be discreet
Or else many would know I’m some type of freak

Wear those short shorts, girl let me see you jump
I’m sorry if you’re offended by my love for the rump
I speak for myself & I probably do for many others
Now you know the truth…

I’m Just Your Avid Rump Lover

By: W. Lyric
Copyright ©2009. All Rights reserved

Shake it up a little.

Lately it seems like a wedding isn’t official unless the Bride and Groom choreograph a dance, videotape it and post it on the Internet. These videos are YouTube gold for sisters everywhere but are starting to be a little ubiquitous for my liking. Alright, the first time I saw the couple bust out “Baby Got Back,” I was slightly impressed. Then came the groomsman  “Thriller” video, woo hoo. Finally, Improv Everywhere stages a fake wedding reception, how romantic? These videos were followed by hordes of copycats that weren’t happy enough having a wedding attended by their friends and family but needed the approval of a million anonymous webfolk to validate their “love.” To the first few that posted their videos and had success, I tip my cap. You are truly pioneers in my eyes. You were original, creative and entertaining and we appreciate your efforts. To all the lame copycats that are trying to feed off of others success  and cheapening  the concept of open bar weddings, please stop. The assholes in this video are  a perfect example.