I can’t believe I actually watched not one, but two bad film today. The first (Deb & Sisi) was so bad it made the second one look almost decent. ALMOST. And that is saying a lot. Cos it was Vin Diesel’s Babylon A.D.!!!

Now I know what y’all are saying. What are you doing watching this shit film in the first place? Don’t you read reviews? Well guess what, I prefer seeing it for myself and not buying into what other people are saying. I like to make up my own mind. But just for once maybe I should have been swimming with the masses…

This has got to be one of the worst films ever. Acting-wise, directing-wise, script-wise. There is nothing good about this film. And it has Michelle Yeoh in it. But even she was crap in it. The best thing about it is, that it kept reminding me of Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men, which is a great film in my opinion.

Basically we have seen everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING!) in and about this film before. Just better. So instead of watching this (not even renting it for a drunken party with your friends to have something to laugh your asses off about!) get Children of Men and see what this film should have been like.

Deb & Sisi and now Babylon A.D.. I think I should chose my films better. Two duds in one day. That’s got to be a new record…

I knew I should have been studying. That’s what you get for procrastinating too much. Ah well, I only have myself to blame. To sum it up – STAY AWAY FROM BABYLON A. D.!

According to a variety of sources, Babylon A.D. is one of those films doomed from day one (see Entourage Season Five for in-depth examples). Writer-director Mathieu Kassovitz spent a reported five years developing French novel “Babylon Babies” into a functional screenplay; production, however, was delayed on numerous occasions, went over budget swiftly, and had constant intervention from the studio (20th Century Fox -no surprise there) which impeded Kassovitz to translate his vision accurately. I will admit a few plot devices fail from lack of proper explanation, yet the film expertly accomplishes what it intends to achieve: a transworld Vin Diesel action picture set in the near future. I’ll take a wild stab and assume the incredible volume of poor and flat-out offensive reviews online are the result of Fox’s interference and not on the merits of Babylon A.D.

…and I find that particularly frustrating and unfair because this summer action fest is a success. The first several minutes outline a rugged and dangerous East Bloc lifestyle where merchants pawning unusable equipment to on-again off-again mercenaries will suffer a public beating. Food is peddled by incomprehensible women, mixed with a variety of “borrowed” ingredients, and eventually combine to form some odd sautee of rabbit and onions. Russian mob bosses peruse their territory with an armored convoy and super high-tech personnel carriers in the company of -what I shall assume is- a duet of hookers straight from Hostel’s casting room. Babylon A.D. progresses once Toorop (Maurice Dantec wasn’t exactly proficient at naming characters: it’s Diesel) receives his “half-million” mission: escort a girl and her joined-at-the-hip bodyguard from a Kazakh convent to New York City.

The six-day journey is executed flawlessly and with much excitement. From a terrorist bombing in a crowded market to a cage fight with a looming Russian kick boxer, this action thriller contains more than enough “action” and “thrills.” Its visual style is what starkly stands out from the otherwise-mundane action sequences (they’ve all been done before in some fashion). We’ve all seen Vin Diesel tossing around bigger and badder bad dudes, but it’s the style of each film which provides a highly-entertaining tarmac for the action to play out. From the grisly East Bloc buildings to a post-modern and neon-strewn New York which shamelessly borrows from Blade Runner, every locale and set piece brings new colors and setting to the action. It really is a beauty to watch.

Unfortunately, Babylon A.D.’s final twenty minutes put a grinding hamper on the adrenaline rush by way of arbitrary and pointless philosophical diatribes by newly-introduced characters. Like the pacing, the action subsides and eventually diminishes altogether and we’re left with nothing to stand on besides absurdly overacted dialogue. In the end, I enjoyed myself and was entertained despite the sour ending. As in Crank 2, an abundance of shit hit the proverbial fan through sixty or seventy minutes, and it was a hell of a spectacle. Babylon A.D.’s unique style and settings are its strong points, but its attempts at deep and existential undertones were a mistake. I definitely understand Kassovitz’s vision, but with Fox’s time restraints (and cash flow issues) we’re given only part of the picture. I do recommend this film for its action and style (performances aren’t half bad either). I have been highly redundant, but I want to emphasize that Babylon A.D. is a good movie in its current state and assuredly worth a rent for action or Diesel fans (such as myself), just don’t wish for more. The end.

Conclusion: 65 minutes of ass kicking, 25 minutes of crap (out of ninety)

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You guys like your Babylon 5, do ya? Today only, you can get the whole series on DVD for just over a hundred …[More..]


So i love Babylon 5. One of my all time favorites. And the entire series is on sale at Amazon for only $105. So if you

“Like all political activists busy with their mission, environmentalists often work from poor and short-sighted ideas about human motivation; they overlook the unreason, the perversity, the sick desire that lie at the core of the psyche. Their strategy is to shock and shame.” Theodore Roszak

“Every political movement has its psychological dimension. Persuading people to alter their behavior always involves probing motivations and debating values; political activism begins with asking what makes people tick. What do they want and fear and care about? How do we get and hold their attention? How much can people take- and in what order of priority? Have we overloaded them with anxiety or guilt? How do we make credible the threats we perceive? Movements that fail to think carefully about this may fail to persuade.” Theodore Roszak

“A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Ancient Disney wisdom (th´nk ye  Meeery Popp’ns!)

You know how it goes, “We’re polluting and overpopulating the planet, killing species, killing each other, we’re destroying habitats, and we’re using up all of the resources. If we don’t stop this madness and change our ways we will all die and leave the planet in a poorer state than it is.”

And for some reason some people have difficulty accepting this… some sugar perhaps?

At the root of the problems, Ecopsychology tells us, is a global insanity, insidiously working through human society (ok, insidiously is my word for it). Except we can’t put it that way, because insane people, when you tell them they’re insane, ignore it, deny it or lose their last vestiges of reality, spiraling into more insanity.  What’s really a problem is that this is leveled at not just one person, or one group, but the whole of human civilization! I’d hate to be the person that’s trying to convince all of that to become more environmental and stop itself destroying itself. Oh wait, I’m… well, at least I’m not alone… I think.

How do you get an insane person to accept the fact they’re insane and need to do something about it? How do you get a whole species to do the same?! My head hurts.

The good news is that the environmental meme is getting everywhere, even through films. Once upon a time environmentalism was about stoned hippies and maverick scientists, but now we have a politician (Al Gore) on the silver screen presenting a funny cartoon frog to show how bad a situation we are in.

Unfortunately, because he’s a politician, his presenting the message hinders the message just as much as it helps the message. Does anyone really trust a politician? Do politicians trust other politicians? The criticisms I see about “climate change” on wordpress are usually always followed by “Al Gore,” making me think that people can’t make the difference between “climate change” and “Al Gore,” and why they’re criticizing.

But we are presented some credibility from Hollywood. One of their pantheon’s star deities, Leonardo DiCaprio, has also created a film to get the message across. This time creating a film that has more people presenting the problem, of different cultures, different nations, different ethnicities, different professions, different genders giving us a cozy “us” to make the message more sympathetic. And instead of saying “We’re un poco loco” (insane), he just said “We have to change the way we think,” which is a far easier pill to swallow. Suffice to say, I have seen less criticism of him than of Al Gore, simply because he’s not a politician but a handsome*, rich and famous cinematic hero to be adored and worshipped, along with anything he says.

So the “insane” populace of our planet is waking up, acknowledging the problems we have and even that we’re the root. You can see the environmental meme getting everywhere, adverts, films etc. It’s becoming quite an acceptable concept in general. A few days ago I even saw it in a very unlikely place; a film with Vin Diesel, Babylon A.D., where I wasn’t sure if it was about violence with a little bit of story, or a story with violence. Either way the meme “Save the planet” is there, at beginning and end. At the end Vin Diesels character says “Save the planet, one baby at a time. What a bitch.”

One baby at a time? One life at a time? One individual at a time? My head’s hurting again. Does anyone know any Ecopsychologist that could help me with global anxiety? Oh wait… that’d be me… Still, some of those babies will be the children of Leo Di admirers, so maybe it won’t be too hard to convince future generations.

So how do I break the news to you lovely gorgeous people that we could all be doomed because of our stupidity? Well I can start with complementing you, flattering your egos a bit, like a patronizing salesman. What a great big…. car you have. What a beautiful set of… kitchen implements you have. And whilst I polish your ego for you, species die, people kill each other, the fabric of civilization is tearing itself apart, and we have to do something NOW. We can’t waste time making sure egos are comfortable.

Okay, maybe I’m not painting a pretty picture. I may not be giving you enough “sugar” with your “medicine.” I’m not Mary Poppins. But there’s enough consciousness about global issues that I can be a bit risqué, I can ride the wave of environmental popularity and point out the shocking truth without ruffling too many egos. If your ego can’t take what I’m saying, you probably would have switched off at the beginning of this blog, so it’s not like I’m forcing it down anyone’s throat on my own blog! This is my thoughts and feelings, my opinions, and I’m just expressing myself here. The real convincing can only be done by you.

That’s why I don’t agree with extreme environmentalism; you know the idiots who go round evangelically pushing their ideas on people, jeopardizing any chance that other, more sensible, environmentalists have of making environmentalism credible to the wider world. Then there are environmental terrorists. Need I say more?

Environmentalists are stuck between a rock and a hard place (or the Devil and the deep blue sea).  On one hand there is a desperate urgency to the world’s problems that we don’t have the luxury to be gentile and politically correct, we need to act NOW. On the other hand, we have to carefully go through the sticky slimy web of human society’s various degrees of skepticism, cynicism, arrogance, ignorance, insanity, lethargy, idiocy, prejudice, misguided enthusiasm, half-hearted commitment and Machiavellian deception, which cannot be bypassed. They need to be faced and resolved one by one, step by step, individual by individual. By which time NOW may be too late…

Aspirin!

So, you, individual**, yes I’m talking to YOU. Let’s not beat around the bush any longer, this world’s in a rubbish state, caused by humans and only resolvable by each and every human on this planet. That’ll be us; me writing this, you reading this and even everyone else not present here. I’ll do my part, you do your part, we’ll collaborate where we can, spread the meme and hope the rest of the world gets it. If that doesn’t work, maybe there’s a good pro-environmentalist film showing at a cinema to go and see.

So, Mr Roszak, have I passed my test?

—

*Any criticism is spurred only by jealousy. I have no problem here, I’ve been told that I look like Leo. I can’t see it, but who am I to argue? lol.

**okay, there’ll be several individuals reading this, probably. Thank God for mass media.

Babylon A.D. di Mathieu Kassovitz (USA/Francia 2008)

L’obiettivo era ambizioso: prendere un promettente regista europeo, un cast internazionale di un certo livello, un budget non stellare ma adeguato, un romanzo che si presti a dare gli elementi per un kolossal fantascientifico e da tutto questo riuscire ad ottenere un film tamarro e soporifero. Obiettivo centrato pienamente, direi.

Kassovitz, attore e regista francese, famoso anche per aver interpretato l’oggetto dei desideri della protagonista de “Il mondo di Amelie”, oltre che per aver diretto l’apprezzatissima pellicola d’esordio “L’odio”, si cimenta in un apocalittico sparatutto che sembra più un file zippato che un film.
Tratto dal romanzo futuristico “Babylon babyes” di Maurice Dantec, il film narra le vicende di Toorop, un mercenario del ventunesimo secolo che deve scortare due misteriose monache attraverso un mondo postbellico fino a una New York ipertecnologica. Un film promettente letto così, ma il regista tenta di comprimere troppi elementi nella pellicola, e ne ricava un film confuso e frammentario. Dove tutto è giocato all’eccesso, nelle scene d’azione, nel ritmo, nei tempi, nella quantità di situazioni raccontate. Il risultato è una girandola continua di sparatorie, inseguimenti,  ambientazioni, personaggi abbozzati, il tutto raccontato con un registro che sembra perennemente indeciso, in bilico tra la verosimiglianza e il grottesco.
In questo modo sia le scene d’azione e che quelle più emotive mancano completamente di pathos, lasciando lo spettatore con le sopracciglia corrugate per tutto il film, nell’impegnativo compito di orientarsi in questa confusa matassa di elementi slegati, o anche solo di provare una qualsiasi simpatia o interesse per i protagonisti del film.
E tra queste macerie narrative si aggira armato solo della sua monoespressività, Vin Diesel, Uno degli attori più tamarri e indigesti che Hollywood ci abbia fatto subire. Palesemente mal diretto, sempre ammettendo che possa comunque funzionare in ruolo che non sia da comprimario o in un film non corale.
Va detto che il regista ha lamentato pesanti ingerenze da parte della produzione, che hanno portato ad un parziale stravolgimento del film (sempre secondo le dichiarazioni di Kassovitz). Rimane il dubbio se una maggiore autonomia del regista avrebbe potuto giovare o no a questa catastrofe di pellicola.

voto: 7 secchi di vomito

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Mélanie Thierry, Gérard Depardieu, Mark Strong
Release year: 2008
Language: English

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Vatanı Amerika’dan kovulmuş eski bir paralı asker olan Tooroop (Vin Diesel), kanun dışı bir suç örgütünün başı olan Gorsky (Gerard Depardieu) tarafından Aurora (Melanie Thierry) isminde bir kızı ve bakıcısı olan Rahibe Rebeka’yı (Michelle Yeoh) Amerika’ya götürmek zorunda bırakılır. Sırbistan’dan başlayıp Rusya’yı boydan boya geçerek Bering Boğazına ulaşan Tooroop ve kargoları (filmde öyle isimlendirilmiş), sınırı geçerek Kanada üzerinden Amerika’ya ulaşırlar. Görevini tamamladığında Aurora’nın çok kıymetli bir şey taşıdığını öğrenen Tooroop hayatını tehlikeye atmaktan çekinmeyecektir.

Yukarıda konusunu kısaca özetlediğimiz filmin yönetmeni, adını 1995 yapımı Protesto – Nefret (La Haine) isimli filmle duyuran ve daha sonra çektiği Nehirler Kızıl Akacak (Les Riviéres Pourpres) ve Gothika ile de ününü perçinleyen Mathieu Kassovitz. Filmin başrol oyuncusu Vin Diesel. Kendisine Kaplan ve Ejderha (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) filminin başrol oyuncusu Michelle Yeoh eşlik ediyor. Bir diğer önemli rolü Fransız aktris Mélanie Thierry üstlenmiş. Bir de küçük bir rolde Gerard Depardieu’yu görüyoruz.

Film, tarih olarak 2017 sonrası bir zaman dilimi içerisinde geçiyor. Bu yönüyle bir bilim-kurgu. Sadece tarih sebebiyle değil, 2017’de Avrupa ve Rusya büyük bir yıkım geçirmiş, merkezi idareler iktidarlarını kaybetmiş ve tamamen bir kaos ortamı hüküm sürmektedir. Ama öte yanda Amerika kıtası ise medeni havasından hiçbir şey yitirmemiş ve ayakta kalabilmeyi başarmıştır. Filmin ilk yarısı boyunca insan hayatının hiçbir değer ifade etmediği, türlü sıkıntıların yaşandığı, yanmış, yıkılmış Asya ve Avrupa’nın içler acısı hali bir yol hikâyesi şeklinde aktarılıyor. Filmin ikinci yarısı ile Amerika’daki düzen, nizam ve intizam senaryo açısından ciddi bir çelişki gibi görünüyor. Filmde biraz Aurora kimliği üzerinden yönetmenliğini Alfonso Cuaron’un yaptığı Son Umut (Children of Men) havası verilmek istenmiş. Kargo teslimatı da akıllara Taşıyıcı (Transporter) isimli filmi getiriyor. İki filmi karıştırın, karakterleri de hem görünümleri hem de davranışları açısından 6. Element (Fifth Element)’den klonlayıp aynı tencereye atın, kısık ateşte 5 dk. pişirin, tuzunu, salçasını ilave edin, böyle bir film ortaya çıksın.

Zaten filmin yönetmeni de, yaptığı işi beğenmemiş olacak ki, yapımcı Fox şirketi ile sorunlarını dile getirip “Film için hiç mutlu değilim. Bir sahne bile isteğime göre çekilmedi. Senaryoya uyan hiçbir sahne yok. Kötü yapımcılar, kötü bir deneyim. Fox pg-13 tarzı bir çocuk filmi yapmak istedi. Onlarla kavgaya hazırım ancak umurlarında değil.” demiş. Filmin Amerikan versiyonu 90 dk., Fransız versiyonu 101 dk. ve Director’s Cut ise 161 dk. Böyle olunca da film de konu olarak neden bir yere varamadığımızı biraz olsun anlıyoruz. 71 dakika kesilmiş filmden .

Oyunculuk açısından ise, Vin Diesel her zaman bildiğimiz standartlarında bir oyunculuk sergilemiş. Ya da şöyle diyeyim, Riddick’ten iyi değil. Kendisine eşlik eden Michelle Yeoh ise dövüş sahnelerindeki performansı ile durumu biraz olsun kurtarıyor, ama bu senaryo ile ancak bu kadar dedirtiyor. Melanie Thierry ise vasat bir oyunculuk sergiliyor.

Konu sonuca bağlanmadan bir anda bitiverince filmde pek çok şey yerli yerine oturmuyor, havada kalıyor. Sanki bir devam filmi gelecekmiş havası var, ancak ben bunun küçük bir ihtimal olduğunu düşünüyorum. İlk başlangıcıyla izleyiciyi sarıveren, normal düşünce kalıplarının dışına çıkaran (bilim kurgu filmlerini bu yüzden severim), ikinci bölümü ve finaliyle izleyicilerini fazla memnun edemiyor. Böyle olunca da izlesem de olur, izlemesem de tarzında bir film ortaya çıkıyor.

babylon a.d.

I watched “Babylon A.D.” last night, and though it was not a particularly fantastic movie, it definitely had it’s moments.  So here they are (in order of lamest to coolest):

10) an abundance of shitty accents ALL THE TIME

9) a corny snowmobile backflip/missile dodge/robot-fighterplane destroying pistol shot

Vin Diesel’s vicious, over-the-top head scars

7) implications of a nuclear weapon usage with absolutely no global side effects

6) crazy parkour guys (spices up any movie)

5) it makes reference to Uzbekistan, I have a soft spot for that place ever since I lived there as a child

4) awesome motorcyclists with sweet future bikes and skull facemasks

3) Toorop (Vin Diesel) won’t stop calling this dude a “baby-killer” in the beginning of the movie

2) Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) gets progressively hotter and hotter over the course of the film.  It’s actually kind of odd.

Mélanie Thierry

1) Vin Diesel has a hand tattoo, prominently displayed through the whole movie, that says “elephant” in Russian (слон).  What the hell is that all about?

vin diesel http://www.errordactyl.com

слон http://www.errordactyl.com

In un futuro non troppo lontano, Toorop è un mercenario americano silenzioso ed efficiente, sopravvissuto alle guerre che hanno devastato il mondo all’inizio del ventunesimo secolo. Bandito dal suo paese, stanco, impermeabile alle illusioni e deciso a ritirarsi, viene contattato da un pezzo grosso della mafia russa per una missione di estrema importanza: scortare da Mosca a New York una ragazzina di nome Aurora e consegnarla alla papessa di una nuova e potente religione. Poche spiegazioni, molti misteri, troppi soldi. Ma Toorop accetta.
Dalle seicento pagine del thriller futuristico “Babylon Babies” di Maurice Dantec, Mathieu Kassovitz estrae i novanta minuti di Babylon A.D., pellicola a base di ipercinetismo delle immagini e sintesi narrativa degli ultimi punti fermi del genere, dalla pioggia acida di Blade Runner allo spunto che già mosse I Figli degli Uomini di Cuaròn. La compressione, però, è massima e la qualità ne risente.
Ottenuto con Gothika e il suo parterre di stelle (e strisce) il permesso di soggiorno presso i grandi studios e il nulla osta per capitanare un film high budget come B.A.D., il regista francese si è parallelamente aggiudicato una discreta dose di diffidenza da parte dello spettatore esigente, che lo ha visto dimenticare in fretta gli esordi promettenti a favore di pellicole di sicuro richiamo ma di esito incerto.
Qui Kassovitz conferma l’attitudine spiccata per l’azione e il possesso di un cronometro personalizzato, che non solo rispetta ma crea tempi e scarti esatti. Dice la sua anche in termini di cast: Michelle Yeoh, Charlotte Rampling, Gérard Depardieu e Lambert Wilson sono le salde colonne al centro delle quali può azzardare l’inserimento di Vin Diesel, decisamente più efficace in lingua originale.
Attori speciali, effetti speciali, una storia che ruota attorno a un essere speciale, geneticamente modificato per salvare o annientare quel che resta della nostra specie: grandi pretese e non poca confusione, per un’opera che non riscrive la storia e non entra in quella del cinema. Dopo un inizio folgorante, che ci ricorda l’abilità dell’autore nel descrivere con occhio antropologico i mondi ai margini, il film inciampa in ogni trappola della retorica e ben presto vende il cuore per un surplus di stucchi e pittura.
Babylon A.D. è il Quinto Elemento di un cineasta che si è avviato sulla terza via inaugurata da Luc Besson, possibile ma più che mai rischiosa. Con una differenza: là Milla Jovovich piangeva sincera sul mondo, qui sgorgano lacrime artificiali.

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Syrym – Syrym (2008, Hatrix Records)

Track Listing:
1. “Foul Mouth Blues” … 5:03
2. “Warpath” … 4:37
3. “Torn In Two” … 5:39
4. “Ugly On The Inside” … 6:03
5. “Brokedown” … 5:03
6. “The Sky Is Falling” … 5:04
7. “30 & Dirty” … 4:17
8. “While America Sleeps” … 5:05
9. “Alive In The Real World” … 4:21
10. “Bring It On (Go Down Fighting)” … 5:10
11. “What I’m Trying To Say” … 5:14
12. “What I’m Trying To Say (Reprise)” … 1:47

Band:
Jeffrey Winslow – Vocals, Backing Vocals, Piano, Keyboard
Ron Freschi – Guitar, Backing Vocals, Keyboard
Rich Talley – Bass, Backing Vocals
Jamey Pacheco – Drums

Produced by: Ron Freschi

I became aware of Syrym thanks to this very blog  and one of my earliest album entries when Mr. Jeffrey Winslow popped up in the comments section. Very cool of him. I also have to say he does a great job on this album. I love his vocals.

For some unknown reason, I never got around to picking this album up when it was released. Darn shame too, because I could’ve been enjoying this music so much sooner! This is yet another release that would’ve been a strong contender for the Top 10 of ‘08 list… Had I actually heard it in 2008!

This is a great melodic hard rock release that continues in a similar style to Babylon A.D. And why shouldn’t it? Ron Freschi & Jamey Pacheco were both in Babylon A.D. Anyone who is a fan of that band or the 80s/90s melodic hard rock sound should love this release, because I certainly do.

I know this is an album I’ll be reaching for quite often.

Highlights: “Foul Mouth Blues”, “Warpath”, “Torn In Two”, “Ugly On The Inside”, “30 & Dirty”, “Alive In The Real World”, “Bring It On (Go Down Fighting)”

www.syrym.com
www.myspace.com/syrym
www.cdbaby.com/cd/syrym