TrueMoneyGames is an established online backgammon and poker platform integrated into the Melita Gaming Network. As the first dedicated real money backgammon server, TMG’s software has already managed to gain a reputation among the backgammon community. Star players like Robert Wachtel and Mike Svobodny might not always share the same opinion, but they agree on one thing, TMG’s backgammon software beats the competition. Download and play online backgammon right here!

Take a look at the recent advances on the market, most of them have focussed on the visual appearance of the client and tables. TMG is no exception, but their developers’ main goal is to create something completely new, this time it’s Backgammon 3.0.

Multi tabling is not exactly a new term in the gambling scene, but it’s someting the backgammon world hasn’t seen before. While the average BG player is more or less forced to play a single session at a time, TMG offers its players the possibility to play up to 4 games simultaneously. The advantages are pretty obvious, more boards equal a lot more sessions in the same period of time, which certainly is of importance for the ambitioned learner as much as for the professional real money player.

Several factors influence the process of becoming a better player in backgammon, the amount of sessions you play is surely one of them, but the analysis of previous games is by far the most important method. TrueMoneyGames has negotiated full compatibility to backgammon software like GNU and Snowie for statistical purposes. Mistakes in gameplay can easily be spotted and eliminated with the help of these programs, greatly reducing the element of human error at the boards.

Backgammon has always been a game of sportsmanship, but unfotunately not everyone shares this view. Since it is no secret that players who purposely escape defeat by losing their connection to the server can be very annoying, TrueMoneyGames has come up with a few measures to encourage sessions to be finished properly. The most effective change is certainly a higher penalty of 20% on the winning chances, which has proven to be very effective so far. The 24 hour live support is also capable of intervening by personally talking to the offender and if necessary by distributing winnings manually.

Another visual improvement which certainly has its practical use are the new ghost checkers. These virtual green rings highlight every possible move according to the dice roll as soon as the player hovers his cursor over the checkers. This feature will certainly spare newbies from counting points, but also help experts to focus on the board and to develope strategies quicker and more effectively.

One of the major changes after the last software update is the removed rating system. Since the ELO has often lead to unforeseen player strengths due to rating manipulation or freshly registered players, something had to be done . TMG encourages its customers to rather watch a potential opponent’s session to evaluate his skills or as an alternative to run a test session with an appropriate stake.

As a little extra TrueMoneyGames has also reduced the table rake per session to as low as 1.4%. Table stakes on the other hand have been elevated to a maximum of 500€ for both single and match games.

Check out TrueMoneyGames’ free online backgammon software here!

*This was originally a guest post on www.israeli-wine.org blog*

Dalton wines, waiting for the perfect time to be uncorked…

Every time my wife and I make our bi-annual trip back home to Israel, we especially look forward to visiting our relatives in the north for the usual great conversations, delicious dinners and amazing wine in the cool Golan breeze.

Our last such dinner included several Hatzilim (eggplant) dishes, various spicy spreads, a Greek salad and fried red mullet fillets accompanied by Dalton 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon Rose and 2007 Sauvignon Blanc… and of course enlightening conversation about the very wine we were drinking.

“Wine making takes a lot of patience, there is a huge amount of waiting,” started Binyamin “Beni” Sorkin, the famous viticulturalist (partly of Yarden, Galil Mountain brands fame) and Israeli wine industry consultant, our host and my uncle in-law. “It takes at least a case of beer to make a bottle of good wine,” he continued swirling the newly minted Dalton Rose… A wine coincidentally made by Naama Mualem, Beni’s oldest daughter.

Beni Sorkin in his wine cellar with the Dalton 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon Rose and 2007 Sauvignon Blanc

I’m not sure people outside the industry have ever measured good wine in the amount of beer it takes to create it… Sure, some folks are aware of the role of water in the manufacturing of wine (if taking glass and other industrial manufacturing processes into account), but the beer insight is new and more delicious.

Figuring this would be a perfect theme to explore for this gracious guest blog post from Avi, my wife and I jumped in our rented car and headed to Dalton Winery to discuss it further with those entrenched in the process. Without question, the phrase seems to resonate with industry professionals but needs to be put in perspective. I asked Naama and Beni what exactly they are waiting for… in a world of automated harvest machinery and bottling process, hasn’t the process been sped up and not slowed down?

“As the winemaker, I wait for everybody and for everything, including myself. From the perfect time to harvest, to the actual time that harvest gets in the gates to the winery from the vineyard, mashing and filtering, the bottling process, and of course the barrel aging” Naama notes. And because the harvest times are different for each varietal, each one of them goes through the process alone and you usually can’t combine bottling of a Sauvignon Blanc while mashing of Merlot is going on. “So the beer comes into play between stages of winemaking and every time the process has started.” She summed up, confirming her father’s assertion.

Just like wine is often paired with a good cheese, a cold beer is always matched well with a game of Shesh besh (or backgammon). Naama made a point to mention that there is a lot of Shesh besh playing in between work. “In fact this year we launched a Shesh besh tournament. We are the first ever wine business in Israel to open such a league,” she boasts. While the league is currently open to Dalton employees only, Naama dreams of a country wide competition between wineries.

Naama Mualem, Chief Wine Maker at Dalton and backgammon enthusiast

Gaining this insight, we proceeded to the tasting, which as usual I can only describe as hedonistic given our familial leverage, tasting all thirteen 2008 bottles and with regional artesian cheeses, breads and spreads. This brings me back to the Dalton 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon Rose we had on our first night in the Golan… it was very refreshing, served somewhat cool but not cold. It embraced the spices in the spreads and home made olive oil, and yet the delicacy of the red mullet; it was the right wine at the right place and definitely at the right time. I recommend it immensely.

Waiting can also be savoring, taking the time to enjoy something; it can also be looked at as anticipation… and here is where US consumers can relate. Because of Shmita rules (biblical agriculture laws mandating a break from harvest on the 7^th year), Dalton will not be exporting the 2008 wines, so you may be sipping beer between now and when the 2009 vintages make it stateside. Good things come to those who wait, and the waiting time can be easily passed by drinking Goldstar or Guinness while playing a fierce game of Shesh besh.

Backgammon has been a popular game for many years. It is a game similar to checkers, however your strategy is the complete opposite. Backgammon instructions are easy to follow and anyone can play Backgammon. When you purchase a backgammon game, there are usually always backgammon instructions that come along to walk you through.

The main goal of the game backgammon is for each of the players to get all of his or her game pieces onto the home board and then to find a way to get all the pieces off the Backgammon board. The first player to achieve this is the winner of the game.

To start the backgammon game, figure out who will go first. You can roll the die for this and whoever gets the bigger number goes first. This is just the easiest way to determine who goes first, without any conflict.

Each player will get a turn to move his or her pieces. The players will first roll the dice before every move. You will move with whatever consists with the roll of the dice. If you roll a 4 and 3, then you will move seven slots. You can break the moves up between two game pieces. In other words, move one four spaces and the other piece three. You just have to make sure you move one game piece in accordance with the number on one of the die rolled. And the other piece in accordance with the other number rolled. The game of backgammon really easy to learn.

If the same number would appear on both dice rolled, then the roller would be allowed double what the number is. For example, if you roll a 2-2, then the roller is allowed four moves instead of two. There are instructions in the game to remind of the hard plays and so you can refer back to when you need to.

You get a point by getting two or more of your game pieces on it. Once this occurs, the opponent cannot come to rest on that point when taking the combination of his dice.

There are different terms and circumstances that must be followed during the course of the game. When you are stuck on what to do, you can go back and look in the instructions to the game to figure it out, has tips and instructions. If you are playing for the first time and your opponent is a pro, then they can help you along and give you pointers throughout the game.

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As you know, dear readers, many of the most exciting children’s games began as a warnings against hanging out with ugly people, and foreigners. We need only look back to the nuclear age to discover one of your personal childhood favorites: “Ring Around the Rosey.”

“Wait,” you say, “doesn’t that have its origins in plague-stricken England.” Well, first of all, this is my blog and I wait for no one. If you can’t keep up, well, you’re an illiterate boob. Secondly, you are clearly Irish or something.

There'll be no "Ring Around the Rosey" for you mister...until you clean up your mess.

 With all the newly evacuated, so-called, “Brownfields” in Japan and places in the U.S. of A., like the New Mexican desert and Pittsburg, and the surplus of bland 1950’s children, entrepreneurs saw a way to make money by combining the two. They turned these toxic waste sites areas of low vegetation and non-potable water into Magical Learning-grounds!™

Teacher: “Look children, a three eyed fish!”

Ignorant Child: “Why does it have its intestines outside its body?”

Teacher: “How the hell do you know what ‘intestines’ means?!…I mean, here child, drink some water…”

"Ashes, ashes, we all play in a nuclear blast site!"

 Over the years, the lyrics to “Ring Around the Rosie” have changed, but children have always held hands while running around a glowing mudclod. Especially the dim ones.

This brings me to “Backgammon” (there’s no good segue to this), a game young children hate. Just as much as they hate dental visits, broccoli, and cleaning up after their alcoholic parents. There’s good news though; we can solve this problem with “information” (the Backgammon problem, not the alcoholic parents problem – sorry kids!).

Before the advent of nuclear war, people had trouble coming up with stuff to do. But after several thousand years of trial and error, they decided to stick with error.

The curious countenance, the bloodshot eyes, and the yellow mustard-stache. Notice the signs of genius? No, me neither.

Enter Hans Gammon, the inventor of “Triangles, Circles, Numbers, and Racoons.” It was wisely retitled after his death, against his wishes. Here’s how you play:

1.) Find an empty table. No empty table? Try the floor. No floor? Where are you? Outside? You heathen.

2.) Just add water! Just kidding – add 30 checkers, four die, a doubling die (you know…for kids), and a board covered with triangles and a bar in the middle.

3.) Oh! I almost forgot, you also need a caged rabies infected raccoon. If you don’t have a raccoon, a beaver with bad breath will work.

D.) Now, place all your checkers on the table, or “flatwood” as the Brits call it. Roll to see who goes first…then that person rolls the dice to determine the number of moves.

0.) I know what you’re thinking now, seems pretty intuitive. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Oh, dear Lord, you don’t know how wrong you are! Roll two sixes? Move 24 times. Roll a five and a six? Time to get the doubling die!

10.)Doubling die: using an unnecessarily obscure mathematical process (multiplication) a player “ups the odds” or, as I say, “increase the risk.” Player one rolls a five and six, and the first of the two players to grab the doubling die gets to roll it. The other player will use the rolled number to determine how many times he has to stick his hands in the raccoon cage.

Zucchini.) The first player to get all of his checkers off the board, and doesn’t have rabies, wins.

Final Analysis: I realize, however belatedly, that this was probably not very convincing. Also, using a beaver with bad breath is not actually an option in tournament play.

After a much needed and quite luxuriously uneventful weekend, I woke up to a Monday Writer’s Block. I don’t recall setting our Tivo to record that program.

In an effort to fulfill my promise to keep this blog fresh and sprouting with new ideas, I rewound the last 48 hours in my head looking for inspiration, and recited everything we DID NOT do:

- socialize

- play Bingo, Backgammon, Cranium, or Monopoly; not even Truth Or Dare

- go shark back riding

- stop global warming (instead we added to it with the multiple trips to local coffee shops)

- fly a monkey

- teach Cosmo to roll over, though he was so, so close

- get kidnapped by an Alien

- learn to speak Urdu, or Spanish (a tad more practical in Baja)

- buy a turkey, eat a turkey, nor visited Turkey

- make out with a dolphin

- solve a single math problem

- patch the four holes in our ceiling before the mice that I’m convinced live in the cracks of our building find out about the openings and decide to come visit

- climb Mount Everest, nor any other hill, not even a road hump.

None of that happened this past weekend.

Looking further for topics I could write about, I browsed through the thousands of photos we took over the last year and a half, to finally stop at the images of Jason’s nephews, Conor and Dylon, which I found highly inspiring… to procreate rather than to bluntly tap at a keyboard with two fingers.

It sounds like a whole lot of NOTHING. Let’s get one thing straight: an uneventful weekend does not mean a weekend free of events. (Wait, huh?) I did some squats around the coffee table during meal times in an attempt to tighten that rump. There was some folding and scrubbing going on as well as a whole lot of licking. Cosmo cleaned both of his front paws after a thorough and urgently needed bath (because what do the humans know about a good bath), while Jason licked his wounds after brutal couple of weeks at work.

One task I managed to complete was a Thanksgiving menu, and that was not a trivial accomplishment. I’m Polish, hence for me this holiday represents a day off, empty streets, and limited access to candy shops and movie theaters since everything closes early. Nonetheless, I wanted Jason to experience the same traditions he grew up with despite living away from his family – the turkey with stuffing and mashed potatoes with gravy, with a spoonful of cranberry sauce on a side and a wedge of pumpkin pie.

Therefore, I’ll be cooking up a storm and making him a Thanksgiving meal that will take him back the memory lane: pork loin with honey-mustard sauce and wrapped in bacon, mashed rutabaga with cauliflower and caramelized onions, blanched green beans with roasted garlic, and chocolate and orange brownie pie. I’ll be sure to snap a photo of each and every dish, and report back to you with recipes and about five extra pounds hung around my hips. I wish they would settle in my boobs instead. Sigh.

In the meantime, let’s keep it light and healthy. I’ll be BAHK with a fresh salad idea before the Turkey Bell rings.

]]> http://elikafm.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/51/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:16:57 +0000 elikafm http://elikafm.wordpress.com/2009/11/23/51/

According to Wikipedia, Backgammon is:

‘… a board game for two players in which the playing pieces are moved according to the roll of dice. Players win by removing all of their pieces from the board. There are many variants of backgammon, most of which share common traits. Backgammon is a member of the tables family, one of the oldest classes of board games in the world.

Although luck plays an important role, there is a large scope for strategy. With each roll of the dice players must choose from numerous options for moving their checkers and anticipate possible counter-moves by the opponent. Players may raise the stakes during the game. There is an established repertoire of common tactics and occurrences.’

Whatever. Backgammon is a passive aggressive game upon which the entire happiness of your relationship lightly and precariously, rests. And tonight we decided to play it.

Before we began we were quite excited. Quite pleased not to be the sorts of people who watch telly all night. Quite happy to be listening to Bob Dylan’s Theme Time Radio in the background (do you listen to that? You should. Here’s one), smug as we set up the pieces with their satisfying click-click on the board. And then something changed. A cold wind passed between us. We played only three games, during which the Suit’s competitive leg jiggled furiously. All suits have a competitive leg; it’s a ubiquitous condition among them, rarely discussed. He didn’t breath for at least the last half an hour, in fact he barely spoke. And, I’m happy to report, he didn’t win either.

I won. I fucking won. In your FACE, Suit.

You’ll be delighted to know that we’ve started talking again – smiling emoticon – on the proviso that I don’t bring up the current score (which has been recorded, stored and will form a context for everything for the rest of all time). I was also forbidden from running about the flat with my t shirt over my face. I did, in fact, do that quietly when he was brushing his teeth, but ran directly into the clothes horse by accident and then whimpered into bed suitably chastened.

This week the tournament continues. Chances are blood will be spilled before the month is out. Suit blood. Suit blood will gush freely from his weird competitive leg.

Reading Jeff Bakalar’s CNET column about the filthy mouths and dark minds he met amongst console gamers, filthier and darker than he ever met playing PC games online, where you also better off being a white heterosexual male, made me wonder about racist, misogynist or homophobic encounters in online backgammon.

In online backgammon, your gender and sexual orientation are concealed (unless your username is susan, or dorothy), but your nation is displayed publicly. Thus, racist expressions are probably more common than misogynic or homophobic ones.

But how common? And how harsh? How do you react to them? Did you ever complaint to the online backgammon room’s support, and if so, what did you think about their response? What do you think would be the best response to these kinds of behavior? Do you have anything else to say about this subject?

If you were paying attention, and I’ll assume that you were, as hanging on my every word is quite unavoidable, you’ll notice where I called this page a sports site. This is only partially true (you’ll find, as we go forward, that partial truths are one of my many fortes, along with sneaky lies, eloquent hyperbole, and expertly placed scorn). In addition to sports, I will also be covering games. To deal with issues of server space and short attention spans, the two have been amalgamated under the catch-all phrase “sports” in such a way that they’ve lost all distinction. Well, I’m here to set the record straight… which should have been listed amongst my fortes… setting the record straight. I’m very good at it.

And actually, the distinction is quite simple to understand… and here’s the litmus test; if a fat 60 year old can do it moderately well, it’s not a sport, it’s a game. Simple as that.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

But first, let’s start by saying I’m not going to mention anything that’s so obviously a game that its’ combatants won’t even complain at having it called so. These include poker, backgammon, Madden challenge, Scrabble, spelling bees, etc… These have at most a very little physical aspect to them, and thus don’t qualify as a sport under any definition of the world. Plus, a fat 60 year old, after some practice, could be the best in the world at any of them.

American Football – Sport. Clearly, our fat 60 year old could strap on a helmet and shoulder pads and proceed to play the game, but this is where the “moderately well” portion of our litmus test comes into play. I would also recommend a stretcher, ambulance, priest and his loved ones be nearby.

Archery - Game. Games can be broken down into two categories… strictly mental games, like the ones mentioned above (Poker, Backgammon, etc…), or games that combine both mental and physical aspects. Alas, when it comes to archery’s physicality, we’re talking hand-eye coordination (true of many games) and average levels of strength. A fat 60 year old can handle those aspects.

Australian Rules Football – Sport. I would, though, like to see our fat 60 year old in one of these. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Forget I said that.

Auto Racing – Game. Let’s be honest here… the cars are the athletes. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The drivers, not so much. Yes, it’s physically and mentally demanding… but can you really sit there and tell me, perched on your high chair like you most certainly are, that a fat 60 year old couldn’t win one race, let alone do moderately well? Already, Mark Martin of Nascar fares quite well at age 50, and the oldest winner was 52. Formula one’s oldest winner was 53. And we’ve got a fat guy that regularly wins in Tony Stewart. Would he win? Probably not. Could he do moderately well? Definitely.

Badminton – Sport. Yes, our fat 60 year old, depending on what strata of society he finds himself within, might play regularly… probably with regular breaks for tea and judging people. But put that same fat 60 year old in a competitive environment, and he loses every time. There’s nothing “moderately well” about that.

Baseball – Sport. Baseball’s one of the trickier ones to call, actually. Most players are involved in a sport, but pitchers, particularly those pansies from the American League (what with the designated hitter rule), might be playing a game. We’ve seen plenty of successful fat guys… C.C. Sabathia, David Wells, Bartolo Colon, Jumbo Brown… most of them pitchers (though certainly the aforementioned designated hitter and first base are prone to successful fat guys, like Cecil Fielder, and John Kruk)… but could our 60 year old do it, at least moderately well? Maybe, but he’d have to be pretty special. And since most baseball players qualify as athletes playing a sport (unless you could see our fat 60 year old chase down a fly ball, or steal second… I don’t), we’ll call baseball a sport.

Basketball – Sport. Through and through. Even if our fat 60 year old was 7′4″, he still wouldn’t hold up, and that’s saying something.

Bobsleigh – Game. Any activity where gravity does the most work is a game. That fact should maybe be at the top, but at least it’s here. A fat person actually benefits from these kinds of games. As a matter of fact, until the governing body instituted a weight-limit rule in 1952, bobsleigh crews were very heavy. It should also be noted that bobsleigh inverse to baseball, as the pusher might actually be playing a sport, at least at the start of the race. This is of course before the gravity takes over, and it’s the pusher’s job to get the sled moving. But for most of the race, all members of the team are playing a game, hence, its’ designation here.

Bossaball – Sport. And a wild one at that. And just look at that photo (you’ll have to hover over “bossaball” to see it)… if any of you know a fat 60 year old that could even do that without gravely injuring him/herself, I want their name and number. I have an idea for a viral video. Oh, and if you want to know just what the hell bossaball is, check this out.

Boules – Game. Uh, yeah. This one’s obvious, right? From a class of games that includes Bocce, Lawn Bowling, Petanque, Boule Lyonaisse, Klootschieten and Varpa… games seemingly specifically created for the elderly (but fun nonetheless).

Bowling – Game. Again, no questions here, right? If so, just head to your local bowling alley. You’ll see plenty of fat, drunk 60 year olds bowling in the 200’s regularly. Not a sport.

Boxing – Sport. This one’s a bit thorny. George Foreman, at this very moment, is a fat 60 year old (ironic for a man synonymous with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine, but I digress). Could he really not fare at least moderately well in the ring today? Probably so… but this one comes with a caveat. The only way this could work is in the heavyweight division, where lumbering, plodding heavy punchers will always have a place. You can be all of those things as a fat 60 year old. In no other weight class would this be plausible. So on the whole, boxing’s a sport, whether the heavyweight division is a game or not.

Competitive Dance – Sport. So us macho types, like, for instance, myself, don’t like to admit that dance is a sport. But step back and take a look at it… extreme athleticism? Check. Very competitive? Check. Exclusion of fat 60 year olds? That’s a big fat check. And those of you who have been to a competitive dance… uh… competition?… and seen the merciless backstabbing and cutthroat sabotage that regularly unfolds know damn well that this is no game.

Cricket – Sport. The art of bowling sets cricket apart from baseball. As opposed to the standstill throw a pitcher delivers, the bowler’s is a violent, full-body action with an extended run-up that would certainly throw out the backs of most fat 60 year olds. Even the act of batting is more involved, as batsmen have been known to switch sides of the wicket while the bowler is in his run-up (this would be akin to a right-handed batter jumping over home plate to bat left-handed during a pitcher’s windup). No easy feat, and no place for a fat 60 year old to tread.

Curling – Game. There’s nothing about this game that a fat 60 year old couldn’t handle. They might be the best in the world at it, for all I know.

Cycling – Sport. A fat 60 year old in spandex? We don’t think so.

Darts – Game. One of the few games where being a fat 60 year old is an advantage.

Decathlon/Heptathlon/Pentathlon – Sport. This would, of course, be the end of our fat 60 year old. We had some good times, fat 60 year old. We’ll always remember you.

Disc Golf – Game. Another addendum; if stoners, hippies and other movement-reluctant bums fancy it, it’s a game.

Discus Throw – Game. The actual throwing of the discus any fat 60 year old could handle, and while some of them might be hilariously awful, some could reach the “moderately well” threshold… that’s the rub. It’s the leadup to the toss that gets a bit dicey. Most athletic 25 years olds will end up on their ass following it… and a fat 60 year old? He’ll get vertigo… unless… he/she was already an experienced discus thrower. A former champion, let’s say. Could he/she still fare moderately well? Of course.

Diving – Game. Here’s the thing… at the elite level, yes, diving is heavily populated by 15 year old, 58 pound Asians. But tack on 45 years and 200 pounds to those same Asians… and splashy, cannonball-esque entry aside, could they not at least fare reasonably well in a diving competition? I think so, yes.

Downhill Skiing – Sport. OK, let me explain. Yes, gravity plays a major role here, in fact, it’s the agent propelling the skier down the hill. But what sets downhill skiing apart from say the bobsleigh or the luge is that the skiier must use his/her athleticism against gravity, to turn, sometimes sharply. Without the ability to do so, the ability to fare, oh, I don’t know, let’s say moderately well, goes down the tubes. Our fat 60 year old would be carried faster than most down the hill, thanks to the “fat” part, would his/her 60 year old muscles be able to turn him/her appropriately? We have our doubts.

Equestrian – Game. Again, who’s the athlete here? Is it the person riding the horse, or the horse doing all the work? The horses are certainly competing in a sport… the person sitting on the horse? Not so much. Though we will admit that we certainly feel for the horse that has a fat 60 year old on its’ back.

Fencing – Game. We’ll admit, fencing takes incredible instincts and quickness, and the reflexes of a… uh…. well, something that has really fast reflexes. So we’re under no illusion that a fat 60 year old could be a champion. But let’s say renowned champion Sergei Golubitsky hits 60 and has let himself go a little (or a lot, whatever picture you throw into that head of yours). Were he to enter a competition, could he not fare at least moderately well? It says here he could.

Figure Skating – Sport. Unless points were awarded for sliding along the ice on your ass or stomach, our fat 60 year old would stand no chance here. None at all. Though, this does give me an idea. Who wouldn’t pay money to watch fat 60 year olds attempt some of these advanced moves. It’d be a train wreck, and train wrecks make good televsion… hmmmmm…. We’d have to come up with some appropriate clothing, but yeah, I think I could make it work.

Fishing/Angling – Game. Go watch your local fishing tournament this weekend. Take note of the number of people that aren’t fat 60 year olds. Now, nod in agreement with me.

Gaelic Football – Sport. A fat 60 year old would spend the entire game getting embarrassed, thus causing him, if he’s Irish (as we would expect, if he’s playing Gaelic Football), to pick a fight with every player on the pitch, followed by that particularly intoxicating brand of Irish violence… utter chaos, generally speaking… which would subsequently lead to everyone getting drunk together and singing songs. Stereotypical? You betcha… but I’ve lived it. And stereotypes exist for a reason, right?

Golf – Game. First, it’s a favorite of fat 60 year olds. Second, you could easily see one heating up and shooting a 70 on the same day Tiger Woods shoots a 72. An activity where you could play better than the world’s best? That’s a game, my friends. Let’s put that same fat guy up against Lebron James in a game of one-on-one. Does he ever win? Of course not. If we tied one of James’ arms behind his back, does the fat 60 year old ever win? Of course not. I believe I’ve eagled this one.

Gymnastics – Sport. OK, picture the fat 60 year old, and let’s go with a male. Now… and this won’t be easy… picture him in a unitard. Get past it, you can do it. OK, good. Now, picture him going through a routine on the pommel horse. How many times did he crush his nuts? 30? 40? No, this is no place for a fat 60 year old.

Hammer Throw – Game. Like the discus throw, the problem lies in the lead up to the throw. And like the discus throw, most people would end up on all fours attempting such a thing, with probably a vertigo supplementation for our fat 60 year old. But, like the discus, an experienced discus thrower who just happens to be fat and 60 could fare moderately well… thus… it’s a game.

Handball – Sport. Like many sports, a fat 60 year old could play handball, and like all of them, against decent competition, he’d get embarrassed to the point of taking up shuffleboard.

Hockey – Sport. Whether it be the ice or the field variety, the end results are the same. Our fat 60 year old hospitalized, probably with a feeding tube and catheter. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Horse Racing – Game. A great sport for horses, a decent game for humans. Again, how is this a sport for jockeys? Actually, let’s put it this way, if the real athlete in the sport (the horse) would be better off without human involvement (you know, faster without something on its’ back), then it’s no sport for humans. There. And yes, we’d need a very special, strong horse for our fat 60 year old, but there’s one out there that could lead it to a moderately decent finish.

Hurling – Sport. And one I’m not sure should be legal. Picture, Americans, a combination of baseball, soccer and handball. That’s right, they run around with what amounts to baseball bats in their hands, freely swinging them on the field of battle, with others all around them. Hence the helmets. I don’t think we should allow our fat 60 year old to even try this one. Let’s move on.

Hydroplane Racing – Game. Another sport where the humans are just controlling the athletes… in this case, crazy-fast boats. And another one a fat 60 year old would fancy his chances in. He might even prevent things like this from happening, what with the extra weight and all.

Jai Alai – Sport. I don’t think “the fastest sport in the world” is any place for a fat 60 year old. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but I’m gonna go ahead and give this one the sport nod, and move on, thus saving the life of our fat 60 year old, in all probability. Ed Honcho, hero.

Javelin Throw – Game. As with most throwing sports, where your average fat 60 year old wouldn’t be able to compete, one with experience should be able to at least fare moderately well. Hence the designation as a game. They are the Olympic Games, after all, right?

Jumping – Sport. This includes the High Jump, Long/Broad Jump and Triple Jump, not to mention certain obstacles for fat 60 year olds… namely, the whole jumping part.

Luge – Game. This falls under our aforementioned gravity rule (see: bobsleigh). Our 60 year old’s girth would do nothing but help him/her. Sure, he/she might end up in the hospital, but that’s true of thin 26 year olds as well.

Martial Arts – Sport. Unlike boxing’s heavyweight division, there are very few plodding, heavy hitters when it comes to any discipline of the martial arts. My recommendation to our fat 60 year old? Start tapping out as soon as the competition begins. I’m tired of these hospital bills. It’s starting to add up.

Motorcycle Racing – Game. Again, and maybe I should just put this on repeat. The humans here aren’t the real athletes. The motorcycles are. They’re the ones competing in a sport. The humans… simply enjoying their game. And sure, your average 60 year old would struggle… but a former motorcyle jockey who spent 10 years gorging on Tastykakes? He could fare, you guessed it, moderately well.

Netball/Korfball – Sport. Very similar to basketball, though not quite as arduous physically as one’s movement is restricted. Thus, at amateurish levels, a fat 60 year old could hold his/her own. But once we start to creep into the levels of “moderately decent”, the fat 60 year old falls short.

Orienteering/Rogaining – Game. Navigation-based competitions will always fall into the category of games, for obvious reasons, the most clear being that many fat 60 year olds already participate, and can certainly fare at least moderately well. The “fat” part undoubtedly doesn’t help, as these competitions are all on foot, but this deficiency can be made up for in other areas.

Pole Vault – Sport. The mere idea of a fat 60 year old attempting the pole vault has me sitting in my chair laughing my ass off (or SIMCLMAO, from here forward). This is no game.

Polo – Game. This is a combo event between the horse and the human, with the horse playing a sport and the human playing a hand-eye-coordination-based game. Our fat 60 year old could play this game, with a big enough horse, and play it quite well.

Racewalking – Game. This one just feels like a game, doesn’t it? It’s got that game funk all over it. And I’m not coming at this from a “what’s shoved up those guys asses?” point of view either. Nope. I know they’re great at what they do, and it takes talent. It’s just, what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re walking? And what’s the ceiling on speed if you’re a former racewalking champ who’s put on a few and 60 years old? Are they that far apart? That’s the thing. The slower racewalking speeds allow for the discrepancies in time to remain close, as opposed to running, where the difference increases exponentially. Thus, our fat 60 year old can log his/her moderately well and move on with his/her life.

Rock Climbing/Bouldering – Sport. Yeah, our guy would be dead. Fat and rock climbing/bouldering go together like…. uh, fat and… modeling. I don’t know. Two things that don’t go together very well. Cut me some slack, I’ve run out of coffee.

Rowing – Game. This one’s not so easy. Could a fat 60 year old row well. Yes, and with great power. Would his/her girth keep him/her from our “moderately well” standard? We say no, not if he/she were an experienced rower. This one definitely toes the border between sport and game, though. But hey, the rules are the rules… hard and fast. Just like me. Except for fast. Sometimes… depends what we’re talking about. Let’s just move on.

Rugby – Sport. Sure, Rugby (both League and Union) has its’ fat guys, but they’re not really fat guys, they’re just sports fat guys. You know, the kind of guy that drinks all night and doesn’t pay any attention to what he puts in his body… fish & chips, meat pies, etc… But they’re not really fat, not by society’s standards, at least. They’re just sports fat. Our 60 year old is society fat, plus, you know, he’s 60. He might hold his own in a scrum, but otherwise, it’s back to the hospital with him.

Running – Sport. Including sprints, marathons, hurdles, etc… And we’re moving on.

Sailing – Game. Now, we certainly don’t want to downplay what they do, but could a fat 60 year old be part of a winning team? You betcha. Could he win an individual competition? Unlikely, but could we expect him to do reasonably well? Were he a former champion, yes, we could. And I’m sticking with it, no matter how many hateful emails I get.

Shooting – Game. Encompassing sporting clays, skeet and trap shooting, our fat 60 year old is already moving into the semifinals.

Shot Put – Game. Our fat 60 year old is excited to try this one out. No running, no jumping, just sheer strength. And it says here they’ll fare at least moderately well.

Shuffleboard – Game. Funny story, our fat 60 year old is actually the reigning world shuffleboard champion. True story.

Skateboarding – Sport. We’re eagerly anticipating our fat 60 year old’s turn on the half-pipe. We’re guessing the judges don’t throw the term “moderately well” around. Maybe something more along the lines of “OH MY GOD! CALL 9-1-1!!!”

Ski Jump – Game. The ski jump, as opposed to downhill skiing, requires very little active resistance to gravity. Gravity hurls it’s participants down the ramp, a small, quick, powerful burst of the legs when the ramp turns up, then it’s all about holding your form. Our fat 60 year old, a former ski jumper, could handle this sort of thing, and his performance would be deemed “moderately well,” grammar be damned.

Snowboarding – Sport. And this includes virtually every form of snowboarding sport there is, whether it be boardercross, halfpipe, big air, slopestyle or simply racing. Now, some of them do start to creep into game territory… for instance, our fat 60 year old could get good air, and maybe perform enough tricks to fare moderately well… but we doubt it. And the rest of the events would leave him/her at the ski lodge in a full body cast… so yeah, we’re going sport.

Speed Skating – Sport. It’s a matter of sheer physics, really. As our fat 60 year old made a turn, provided he/she had any sort of speed built up, the centrifugal force would carry him/her into the boards, everytime… partly because their mass would be difficult to stop/turn, and also because their older legs wouldn’t be able to do it. I like to call it the “law of hilarious crashes where hopefully nobody gets hurt”. I am having some trouble getting it to stick. Maybe you guys can help me out? Spread the word. Spread the love.

Soccer/Football/Calcio/Futbol – Sport. Sure, lots of fat 60 year olds play soccer, but have you watched them? Let’s just say that their version is a sedentary one, rife with mis-kicks, hand-balls, shin-shots, beer and singing. OK, so it’s not that much different than the EPL… but just enough that our fat 60 year old narrowly fails the test.

Softball – Game. Though really, the way women play it, it’s a sport. But the way the vast majority of people play it, it’s barely a game. More like a mixer, or a party, or something between grilling and horseshoes. Our fat 60 year old is right at home.

Surfing – Sport. First of all, fat, in the surfing world, means shark food. Second, well, let’s go back to physics. The best surfers don’t sit too far down in the water. They skim the surface. Fat means skimming becomes more difficult… means jumps don’t look as good… means tubes aren’t properly navigated… means “moderately well” is out of the picture.

Swimming – Sport. Unless you consider drowning a success, in which case, you need to go talk to someone. Seriously.

Table Tennis – Game. To play at the highest level, with the best of the best, you cannot be fat, or 60. It takes hummingbird-like reflexes that, let’s face it, have left our fat 60 year old over time. But to play the game moderately well? Our fat 60 year old can handle that, especially if he/she has history in the game.

Tennis – Sport. It’s like table tennis, if the table were expanded to 10 times it’s normal size and you got on top of it. This means 10 times more ground to cover for our fat 60 year old. That’s about 9 times too much.

Triathlon – Sport. Maybe if the swim were 25 yards, the bike 1/4 of a mile, and the run 30 steps… maybe, our fat 60 year old could fight his/her way into the “moderately well” category. Anything more and he/she suffers a stroke.

Ultimate Frisbee – Sport. That’s right. Ultimate has moved out of the realm of hippies and stoners and been taken over by real athletes. The amount of athleticism required to catch the many errant throws that occur alone dooms our fat 60 year old (and if you don’t believe me, check out the photo if you hover over “ultimate frisbee”, or this one).

Volleyball – Sport. If we’re talking water volleyball, our 60 year old might stand a chance. But beach, or indoor? Uh, no. Even if he/she were 7′0″ tall, his/her lack of quicks would doom him/her. Plus, that’s not even an insurmountable heighth these days when it comes to volleyball. No, we’re quite sure our fat 60 year old would be humiliated.

Water Polo – Sport. Treading water is an underestimated exercise. It’s exhausting. Trust me. Ed Honcho spent his formative years as a lifeguard (what did you expect?), where part of the certification process was to hold a brick over your head and tread water for 1 minute. Go ahead and try it, we’ll wait… no? Pansies. What you’d find is that it’s not the sort of thing a fat 60 year old should be attempting under any circumstances, brick or no. Though, I will admit, it might come in handy during a lifeguard certification class, as you would most certainly be dragging them off the bottom of the pool, maybe putting them on a backboard, and potentially administering a little mouth-to-mouth. Three birds with one stone. I’m surprised they haven’t thought of this one yet. What I’m not surprised about, is that I have.

Waterskiing – Sport. Have you seen some of the things these people do? Yes? Can you imagine a fat 60 year old doing any of them? Yes, but only poorly, and quickly followed by a horrible wipeout? Me too!

Weightlifting – Game. Plenty of fat people excel at weightlifting… remember, fat people can be very strong, whether they be 20, 40, 60 or 80 years old.

Wrestling – Sport/Game. Truly, in wrestling moreso than any other sport, it depends on the discipline. Freestyle or Collegiate wrestling is a sport. Fat 60 year olds would get twisted into pretzels. Greco-Roman wrestling is a game, since it relies almost solely on upper body strength, which a fat 60 year old might have in spades… or, at least enough to fare moderately well. Submission wrestling is a sport, as a fat 60 year old wouldn’t have the speed to contain someone at the top of their game… not to mention someone at an average level of their game. Arm wrestling is a game, which should be patently obvious to anyone but the dullest of minds. Sumo wrestling is a sport, as, though our 60 year old is fat… that gives him no advantages. Instead, it’s about quickness at that size, something that puts our 60 year old at a decided disadvantage. And, of course, professional wrestling is neither a game or a sport, it’s what we like to call “acting” in the business.

So there you have it… I would normally spend the next few hours waxing poetic about my prophetic… ness. But it does appear as if our fat 60 year old is in need of immediate attention. What do eyes rolled back in the head usually mean? Is that bad? Yeah. OK, I gotta go. Spread the word people. Let’s make this stuff fact. Oh, and if you want to send any particularly hateful emails my way, sure, I can take it. Just send it to icanbesurprisinglysensitive@edhoncho.com. Yo.

I read somewhere that successful backgammon sites (like Play65 for example) prosper from the same reason eBay does: both can supply the peculiar needs of every player/buyer, as peculiar as they may be. In other words, it means that whether your skill level is higher than the average or you are a complete beginner, a high roller or your daily betting budget stands on $1, you have better chances of finding a play partner to agree with your terms in a bigger backgammon room (again, like Play65, for example, which has thousands of players at any hour).

The same goes with eBay, where you are most likely to find any backgammon board/accessory or related item you have ever fantasized about (or never dared to) from double six shower curtain (59.97$) to blue inlaid backgammon checkers (120.00$) and other treasures: handmade board from Bali with engraved lion one side of the cover and bull on the other; a 67 x 57 cm wooden backgammon board designed as a coffin with a death angel engraving on the cover, and many others.

But what today seems so basic was not so usual in the early days of internet backgammon. Back then, players could not post their games’ preferences out in the open. To find a game partner, they had to negotiate with other players via chat or instant messaging, and face a lot of rejections and non acceptances. Later it developed to the invitational model used by today’s backgammon servers, where players can display the type of game (single or series) and the amount of stake they are willing to play, along with their rating points, so every player will have a general idea on what to expect.

Liebe Backgammonfreunde!

Vielen Dank, dass Ihr alle dazu beigetragen habt, es beim Berliner Jahresendturnier richtig krachen zu lassen. 22 Teilnehmer plus jede Menge Kibitzer, ein dicker Pott und viele Stunden Backgammon Action.

Klaus Klein hatte die sehr schöne Idee, vor Turnierbeginn eine Calcutta Auktion zu veranstalten. Christian Plenz erklärte sich sofort bereit, diesen Programmpunkt zu übernehmen. So startete unser Jahresendturnier am Samstag mit der Versteigerung aller teilnehmenden Spieler. Nach kurzer Eingewöhnung ging es hoch her im Turniersaal. Christian Plenz (70€), Matthias Strumpf (60€) und Stefan Blancke (50€) wurden am höchten gehandelt. Nicht ganz unberechtigt, wie sich später zeigen sollte. Ein Dankeschön an den Auktionator!

Stefan Blancke, Matthias Strumpf und Dankwart Plattner qualifizieren sich souverän mit 4 Siegen in 5 Vorrunden für das Viertelfinale am Sonntag. Christian Plenz bleibt in der Vorrunde ungeschlagen und ist damit auf Platz 1 gesetzt. Leo Waters, Charlie Franck und Gerhard Zerbin qualifizieren sich mit 3 Siegen in der Vorrunde und einer guten Buchholzwertung. Für Ralf Sudbrak und Thomas Zimmer heißt es noch zittern. Beide haben die gleiche Buchholzwertung und müssen nun in einem Onepointer den letzten begehrten Platz für die KO Runde ausspielen. Ralf erreicht schnell eine aussichtsreiche Position, muss dann aber einen Schuss geben, den Thomas Zimmer trifft. Damit ist das Spiel gedreht. Thomas gewinnt das Match und ist für Sonntag qualifiziert.

Die Wartezeiten überbrücken die Spieler mit Backgammon-Nerd-Talk und dem Jahresquiz: 10 Positionen, in denen es gilt einen Pasch-2 korrekt zu ziehen. Die meisten Spieler finden den richtigen Zug in 4 Positionen. Helmut Krausser und Matthias Strumpf bringen es auf 7, Leo Waters wird mit 8 richtigen Zügen zum Quizmaster 2009. (Lösungen)

Einige Spiele ziehen sich etwas in die Länge, so dass der Turnierveranstalter erstmalig zwei Spielern mitten im Match eine Uhr aufzwingen muss. Eine unschöne Situation, die im nächsten Jahr hoffentlich dadurch vermieden werden wird, dass grundsätzlich alle Matches von vornherein mit Uhr gespielt werden.

Igor Kaplanski und Klaus Klein, die das ganze Jahr sehr erfolgreich waren, ereilt in der Vorrunde das Pech. Beide können nur zwei Matches für sich entscheiden und sind so trotz guter Buchholzzahl nicht für die letzten 8 qualifiziert.

Gegen 2Uhr enden am Samstag die letzten Matches und die Spieler machen sich erschöpft auf den Heimweg. Zwölf Stunden später sind alle aber bereits wieder vor Ort und das Viertelfinale beginnt mit folgenden Paarungen:

Christian Plenz vs. Thomas Zimmer

Matthias Strumpf vs. Leo Waters

Dankwart Plattner vs. Charlie Franck

Stefan Blancke vs. Gerhard Zerbin

Als „Featured Match“ wird das Duell des Deutschen Meisters Christian Plenz und Backgammongröße Thomas Zimmer live ins Internet gestreamt. Die beiden schenken sich nichts: Die Analyse der Software eXtremeGammon ergibt World Class (Plenz) vs. Expert (Zimmer). Christian Plenz kann sich aber auch in diesem Match behaupten und trifft im Halbfinale auf Leo Waters.

Matthias Strumpf verliert zwar sein Viertelfinale, hat sich aber durch seine erfolgreiche Vorrunde bereits knapp den Sieg in der Jahreswertung gesichert. Damit verteidigt er erneut seinen Titel als Berliner Meister im Backgammon. Gratulation!

Das zweite Halbfinale spielen Stefan Blancke und Charlie Franck aus. Nachdem das Match lange Zeit sehr ausgeglichen verläuft, geht Charlie plötzlich 9:7 im Match auf 11 Punkte in Führung. Stefan doppelt in der folgenden Partie mutig und … gewinnt Gammon.

Christians Siegesserie bleibt ungebrochen und so nehmen er und Stefan um 19:30Uhr am Finaltisch Platz. Der Tisch wird von Kibitzern umringt. Inklusive Checkraiser Added erhält der Sieger 1050€. Der Zweitplazierte 525€. Ustream zählt 40 Zuschauer im Online Stream. Darunter auch Backgammon Übervater Paul Magriel, der die Spieler im Chat anfeuert. Hardy Hübener und Stephan Gumpert kommentieren online das exzellente Spiel der beiden nahezu ebenbürtigen Spieler.

Christian und Stefan bieten eine hervorragende Show. Die Swings sind mörderisch, das Spielniveau hoch und die Spannung extrem. Beim Stande von 9:9 dreht Stefan den Doppler auf 4, trifft einen Schuss und scheint sicherer Sieger zu sein. Doch Christian lässt den einzigen Joker aufs Board kullern, der es ihm ermöglicht von der Bar einzuspielen und gleichzeitig einen indirekten Schuss zu treffen. Stefan verfehlt den Rückschuss und sieht sich nun einem geschlossenen Board gegenüber. Zwar muss Christian noch einen krummen Pasch-5 ziehen, aber zu einem Schuss kommt es nicht mehr. Shake Hands.

Christian Plenz gewinnt das Jahresendturnier und Dank seines Start-Ziel-Turniersieges genug Punkte um noch den dritten Rang der Jahreswertung zu ergattern. Gratulation! Ergebnis der eXtremeGammon Analyse: World Class (Plenz) vs. Expert (Blancke).

Die Top-Five der Jahreswertung sind damit:

Matthias Strumpf: 204 Punkte

Igor Kaplanski: 197 Punkte

Christian Plenz: 177 Punkte

Klaus Klein: 164 Punkte

Daniel Kotrc: 147 Punkte

Ein großes Bravo für die tolle und konstante Leistung! Die ersten drei dürfen sich auch über einen vom Cafè Belmont gesponserten Pokal freuen.

Klaus Klein und Daniel Kotrc schrammen zwar knapp am Treppchen vorbei, können dafür aber gemeinsam im Turnier um die Berliner Meisterschaft im Consulting Double ihren Titel verteidigen. Im Finale besiegen sie das Team Peter Grotrian/Peter Naguib. Ergebnis der eXtremeGammon Analyse: Expert vs. Expert. Herzlichen Glückwunsch!

Ein Dankeschön auch an Klaus und Daniel für die Begleitung der letzten Turniere mit der Fotokamera.

Die Bad Luck Trophy, zwei Kinokarten für „Die Welt ist groß und Rettung lauert überall“, geht in diesem Jahr an Ralf Sudbrak, der die Qualifikation für das Viertelfinale knapp verpasste.

Igor Kaplanski und Vitali Olchanski streichen noch eine Prämie von 300€ ein: Sie hatten bei der Auktion das Pferd ersteigert, das am höchsten gesprungen ist: Christian Plenz. Die übrigen Auktionspreise gingen an Peter Grotrian (für Stefan Blancke), Leo Waters (für Leo Waters) und Thomas Zimmer (für Charlie Franck). Den Sidepool teilten sich Gerhard Zerbin, Matthias Strumpf und Dankwart Plattner.

Vielen Dank für das tolle Turnier. Hauptstadtbackgammon! Es geht doch!

In der Hoffnung, dass wir im nächsten Jahr an diese Erfolge anknüpfen können, wünsche ich allen ein frohes Weihnachtsfest und einen guten Rutsch. Wir sehen uns im Februar!

Gruß,

Thomas

Three weeks. It’s been three weeks since I was last home. A lot happens to a man in three weeks. His whole life can change in three weeks. Mine did.

Three weeks ago, discreetly invited by Matchstick for a private scotch-tasting event, I strode into One Hazelton, a trendy restaurant in Toronto’s Yorkville district. The staff greeted me by name and took my coat, not an uncommon occurrence. After a quick glass of brandy with the manager – and a lively, though abbreviated, discussion on the merits of a program proactively providing guests with a choice of “dates” for the evening – I was ushered into a private room toward the back. Lined with tables, the room was buzzing with activity, and I found myself sitting among the most influential members of the city’s online community. A little out of place, I felt like Number 6 in the Village. But with a scotch in hand, and several more on the table before me, I was prepared for a hard night’s work.

Within an hour, I had devoured no less than six glasses of fine Macallan scotch… 10-year old Macallan, 12-year old, 15-year old, 21-year old. I couldn’t stop myself. A presentation on the Macallan brand and its history described in great detail its methods of barreling and aging. Our affable host then held up a small vial of clear liquid, explaining it was Macallan scotch aged only one day. I never imagined such imbibitions existed.

Fuelled by scotch, alcohol raging through my veins, I leapt to my feet and bolted toward the front of the room. Racing toward our host, I zeroed in on the panic in his ever-widening eyes. Swooping in, I grabbed the small vial of day-old scotch, opened it and drank it down, all in one quick motion.

Indescribable. It’s the only way to describe the feeling. It was the fix I’d been searching for my entire life. Standing there, all eyes affixed on me with looks of fear and contempt sweeping across the sea of faces like a tidal wave, I felt invincible. Unleashing an other-worldly roar, my voice sounded like nothing I’d ever heard in the natural universe. Men and women around me began to sob, quivering with fear as I felt the scotch coursing through my body.

I quickly grabbed the bottle of 21-year old Macallan scotch from our host’s paralyzed arms, as he stood transfixed by what I’d become. Within 20 seconds, I had gulped down two-thirds of the bottle, and shattered it on the table before me. Holding half the broken bottle, dripping with sweet, sweet scotch, I saw myself start swinging wildly. People climbed over one another to get out of my way, crying and screaming madly as they dove for cover. Men were even throwing women in my way in order to save themselves. Cowards. Before long, I found myself outside. Snarling and frothing at the mouth, I had managed to get away with several bottles of each Macallan scotch before I escaped the claustrophobia of that crowd, the negative energy affecting my scotch-fuelled spree of sin.

The next few weeks, I traveled across the globe in a scotch-induced stupor. Using my considerable resources and delusional judgment, I destroyed anything in my path. While in Morocco, half a bottle of 12-year old scotch preceded the severe beating I administered to a camel and its owner after it spit in the vicinity of my Nike dunks. After a stern warning to the camel’s owner, he mumbled some anti-Semitic remarks under his breath. I used the remaining half-bottle of booze to light the fire to heat the branding iron I needed to brand his forehead with a Star of David. Then I kicked his ass. And that of his camel.

Climbing the mountains of Nepal, I was enlightened after sharing two bottles of 18-year old Macallan scotch with a clan of Buddhist monks. Having spent the previous six years in complete silence, we communicated through an intricate series of hand-gestures, eye-movements and breathing patterns. They considered me a deity, and I shared with them the warmth and comfort of Macallan scotch. In return, they taught me karmic self-control, and the deadly ancient martial arts. I hadn’t the heart to tell them I was already well-versed in both.

Sailing the Black Sea, I boarded a stolen ship crawling with Somali pirates. After a few bottles of Macallan 15-year old scotch, and a violent but rousing game of Backgammon, I surprised my hosts by physically overpowering the entire crew, one by one. After returning the ship to its rightful owners, I stole a helicopter from a Greek military base and, before long, touched down in Haiti.

Having saved the best for last, I quickly consumed half my remaining stash upon landing – three bottles of 21-year old Macallan. My killing power increased exponentially, I staged a one-man bloody coup and seized control of the island within a day. Once my buzz faded, I grew weary of the responsibilities associated with running a brutal dictatorship and decided to return home.

I built a crude rocket of only monkey bones, coconut shells and palm fronds. Using just one ounce of 21-year old Macallan scotch, I was able to fuel my vessel across the horizon and back to Toronto. With only two bottles remaining, I decided to sacrifice them for the good of this blog posting, and finished them both before sitting down to recount my adventures.

Three weeks. That’s all it took for Macallan scotch to change my life. Thank you Macallan. (and thank you Mark Twain)

Please be sure to check out this quick survey about The Macallan scotch. A $2 donation goes to Redwood Women’s Shelter for each survey filled out. What are you waiting for? An angry woman to beat the hell out of you?

Das Finale des Berliner Jahresendturniers wird am Sonntag ( 15.11.09) von Hardy Hübener und Stephan Gumpert live kommentiert. Verfolgen kann man das Match bei Online Video Stream

Vom 13.11.09 – 15.11.09 finden die diesjährigen Backgammonmeisterschaften in London statt. Es wird eine umfassende Berichterstattung bei youtube und ustream geben.

Mehr dazu:

Backgammon Live in London 09

Die Teilnahme am ersten Forumsturnier verlief leider wenig erfolgreich, da ich bereits in der Vorrunde ausschied. Am Ende belegte ich Platz 5 in meiner Gruppe und verpaßte die Teilnahme an der Consolationrunde.

Hardy’s Backgammon Forum-Championsleague

Die GnuBg-Analysen meiner Partien:

cis vs. grillInstructor

beofr vs. grillInstructor

spirit vs. grillInstructor

gumpi vs. grillInstructor

If you did not log on to your Play65 account, you might have missed some of the recent updates in Play65 backgammon software:

No Bots, No Droppers

Bots that pose as human players and human players that pretend the internet connection fell off just as they are about to lose, are two of the most common cheats in online backgammon. But their presence is not a good enough reason to avoid playing backgammon online, especially not to stay away from Play65.

To extinguish backgammon bots of its platform, Play65 has established an anti bot committee with three of the top backgammon players in the world (including Masayuki Mochizuki, the world champion for 2009). What they do is check every complaint about suspicious behavior and judge on whether a bot was involved or just an exceptionally lucky/skilled player.

When a player is found guilty of using a computer program during an online game, his account is closed and the money he won as a bot, is returned to the opponent. By now, Play65 has closed dozens of accounts and about $40,000 was returned to their righteous owners. Of course, a player who thinks he was wrongly accused of using a bot, can file an appeal and demand reexamination of his case.

An online game that ends prematurely is not necessarily one of the opponents’ fault; however, when real money is involved, the allocation of the funds has to be decided. In such cases, Play65 has been using BGBlitz, professional backgammon software that can anticipate the expected end of the game and the assumed outcome. To improve BGBlitz functioning and provide more accurate results, Play65 has updated the software to its latest version and adjusted it independently.

New Features and Shortcuts

- three backgammon boards: wood, leather and felt
- 20 different languages, recently added Georgian and Rumanian
- Community shortcuts – view your last game partners with a right click on your username, and view each player’s details (rating, country, etc) by right clicking their username.
- Tournament shortcut – simply right click on a tournament name opens the tournament lobby.
- Automated moves – why bother moving the checkers yourself when there is only one possible function when the computer can do it for you? Note that automated move option comes instead of the automatic bear off checkbox, but if you choose to activate automated moves, automatic bear off is included.
- 1,000 is the limit – Play65 has recently raised the highest possible stakes to $1,000, and lowered the commission rates for those high rollers to 2.45%!

There’s some easy money to make at TrueMoneyGames in November. The tournament schedule is almost overloaded and boasts with tournaments that might actually squeeze a tear out the eyes of the passionate poker player.

Poker races till the end of the month, a €1,000 Freeroll, Tournaments beyond €10,000 all together we’re talking about a sum exceeding €30,000 easily. Now that’s something to stay inside for during a cold autumn night to heat up at these rather tense events. The good news is that all tournaments are limited to 800 participants, which certainly means the pieces of the cake will be a lot larger and the competition smaller than at the average poker tournament.  Check out TMG’s online poker and backgammon tournaments!

There are two ways to enter the larger ones, you either have to be good enough to win at one of the daily poker and backgammon freerolls or you’ll have to deposit. TrueMoneyGames currently offers a 100% deposit bonus and a 250% reload bonus, both are actually pretty generous if you compare them to other sites and consider they are none of the affiliate offers out there. Both of them work well for poker as much as backgammon.

The traffic is constantly increasing and there’s some action going on at the poker tables so there’s quite some money to make, get your seatbelts on and try out one of all those races and tournaments!

Sign up and get ready to play online poker and backgammon!

Alright. So I can see how these websites/blogs/fansites can end up three years out of date now. My lack of motivation, inspiration and free time have kept me away from jackercrap. I suppose it hasn’t been that long and I had already stated that my updates would no longer be daily. I’ll stop crying now.
I wanted to give a quick summary of my trip to New Hampshire. I also wanted a helmet but I’m still waiting…
Day 1 – Gerry and I left New York around 7pm and arrived at his girlfriend’s parent’s house in Connecticut around 9pm. We did the obligatory shooting of the breeze and I watched Gerry and the father talk about the new truck. It was life altering to say the least.

Day 2 – After staying the night and picking up some supplies we needed for the cabin we left for NH around 7am. The drive alone was about 6 hours but we stopped at a grocery store and Whallmart to stock up on phoods. By the time we got to the cabin it was snowing lightly and our butts were numb. We quickly unloaded my packed to the roof van and got settled in.

Days 3-7 It’s hard for me to distinguish specific days in my mind once we were actually at the cabin. Most days included some backgammon and Scrabble. Gerry had never played backgammon before and he really blossomed into a wonderful backgammoner. That’s a word right? Could I use that in Scrabble? So yeah…wake up around 9 or 10 in the am and begin breaking the fast. Then would come the morning crap in the outhouse. For reals yo. We were “roughing it” as they say. We were also “throughing it” too. Then the afternoon was generally spent doing music related stuff and luning the ch. We sampled all sorts of sounds out there like chipmunks farting. At night we’d watch a movie or two and we were always dining the ner. We watched Drag Me To Hell, Trick ‘r Treat, Adaptation, 12 Monkeys, UHF, Brothers Solomon, Primal Fear and the appropriate Cabin Fever. I hadn’t seen Drag Me To Hell and Trick ‘r Treat previously and I really enjoyed them both. I haven’t lost hope for the future of horror just yet.

In terms of leaving the cabin we only made a couple trips. We went to a nearby lake and shot some footage for possible inclusion on one of our upcoming youtube smash hits.

We also got some local pizza one lonely evening. We got to play some Terminator 3 (would’ve preferred 1, 2 or Salvation) pinball and I watched Gerry shoot stuff on one those Buck Champion 6000 deals.
Day 8 – We woke up early for the long ride back to NYCitti. We made a quick stop in CT to drop off the stuff we borrowed. The shower I took when I got home felt so delicious. We took two “showers” while we stayed at the cabin. We would boil some water which we would dump into a bag (a shower bag!) with a little lever to slowly let out water. We had to do this outside in freezing weather in a little shower cubicle while the turkeys and pheasants watched.

I could go on and on about all the little details of our trip but…what happens in cabins is shown on TLC late at night. It was a great trip. The ends.

The Ten Greatest Board Games

10. Trivial Pursuit (1981)

In 1981, two Canadian magazine editors decided to design their own game and ended up creating a champion medium for all sorts of useless facts and knowledge. The gameplay is decent enough, simple in concept, but the trivia challenge is what made this game a huge success. Trivial Pursuit’s popularity continues today, spawning all sorts of updates and specialized versions.

9. Diplomacy (1959)

In 1957, a little game called Risk was published, setting off the popularity of wargames. However two years later, a new war game called Diplomacy was released, with a concept unique to Risk. The players must write down their moves and reveal them at the same time, cutting down on down-time spent between other players’ turns and giving a fresh unpredictability to the gameplay. Diplomacy is most famous for have negotiations, alliances, and double-crossing as an integral part of the game providing lots of room for player interaction.
Diplomacy became very popular and even JFK and Kissinger have declared it to be their favorite game. Diplomacy even grew to include postal games, where players would play from across the country through the mail. A unique and special game, one of the most interactive and involving war games there is.

8. Carcassonne (2000)

Board games seem to currently be in a Renaissance period over the last decade, mostly with the advent of German-style ‘Eurogames’. One of the most popular and unique games to come out of this era is Carcassonne, where rather than beginning with a board, the players create the board as the game goes on, each taking turns placing a new landscape tile and matching features. They then play their board pieces or ‘meeples’ on different areas of the board to perform differing roles which score points in different ways.
Carcassonne is a definitely a different expierence than regular board games, introducing the concept of tile and worker plaecment to many. There are a number of explanations, each of which addd a little something extra to the game without taking away its essence.

7. Tigris and Euphrates (1997)

Reiner Knizia is one of the biggest names in modern board games, and Tigris and Euphrates is often considered his masterpiece. Chances are you haven’t heard of it. It is not a game for the casual board gamer, but is instead a ‘gamer’s game’, full of complexity and skill, a mix of theme and abstract. One of the more complex games out there, wonderfully crafted and beautifully made.

6. Scrabble (1948)

The ultimate word game which has spawned tournaments of all kinds, had full dictionaries written on words that can be used, and created an enjoyable and intellectual leisure activity for people of all ages. Scrabble has garnered a level of respect in society like few other boards games can.

5. Backgammon (200)

Backgammon is one of the oldest games in the world. combining the race game with the dice game. It has a long history and is studied widely. Backgammon even has a World Championship. Backgammon is a pillar of the world of board games which has been around for many, many years and will be for many more to come.

4. Puerto Rico (2002)

Puerto Rico may be one of the most brilliantly constructed board games ever made, with almost no flaws in its design at all. In the game, the players are plantation owners who take turns in various roles (mayor, builder, trader, etc.) which dictate the different phases of the gameplay. The only aspects of luck in the game are the way the plant tiles are drawn (which has little impact on the game) and the strategy of the other players.
Puerto Rico is the Citizen Kane of board games. Not only is it technically brilliant, its also highly enjoyable.

3. The Settlers of Catan (1995)

Settlers of Catan is everything you want in a board game: an interesting theme, lots of player interaction, enjoyable gameplay, a good mix of strategy and chance. Settlers also has the quality of being able to pull almost anyone into its orbit.
The board is made up of 19 hexagonal pieces which are rearranged differently every game so that you never have the same board each time you play. You collect resources from the ‘hexes’ which you use to build settlements and road. Yet the description of the game does not do it justice; this is a fun, involving game that everyone can enjoy. I truly believe that eventually Settlers of Catan will be taking the place of Monopoly as the quintessential board game of modern culture.

2. Go (c. 2200 BC)

From the annals of ancient China comes one of the oldest and greatest board games in the world. Go focuses on balance, tactics and strategy. Perhaps no board game has had quite the cultural impact that Go has had, especially in the Far East. In China, Go was actually known as one of the Four Arts of the Chinese Scholar.
Go ended up spreading to Korea and Japan and eventually to the rest of the world. Go was considered an important skill in some Eastern cultures and is a game with many philosophical implications. It is certainly one of the most important and meaningful board games ever made.

1. Chess (c. 600)

Chess: the grand master of all board games. Originating in India, chess has a long and intricate history of evolution into the game of strategy we know today. The game can be considered a war simulation as well as an abstract exercise of the mind where each individual piece has its own role with one common goal: protect the king.
Chess is often used as a metaphor for such philosophical views and life lessons such as sacrifice and thinking numerous steps ahead. The game is widely studied by scientists and mathematicians and is played at the highest international level, including the famous cold war match of Fischer vs. Kasparov.
No board game in the world holds quite the level of popularity and reverence as chess does. It is the ultimate board game and the standard for all recreational challenges of the mind.

I have a partnership with another website. It is in the Blogroll at the right. It is called Backgammon Trail and it teaches you how to play backgammon and has games to practice. Please go to the website.

Play65 is refreshing its backgammon tournaments schedule every month, so you should definitely keep track. Here are some highlights from what is expected in play65 tournaments for the upcoming month:

On the 1st of November, Sunday 21:00 (GMT), the Knockout Weekend will be finished with its biggest tournament so far – offering €5000 in money prizes.

On November 3rd, the first Ladies First event will take place, where women can enter with zero entry fees! Total prize €500.

On November 4th, the first in the series of Lucky Wednesday tournaments will take place; starting on 19:00 GMT and again on 20:00 and 21:00, with prizes ranging from $100 to $200 and entry fees stand on a single dollar!

Cyprus Backgammon Open qualifiers will take place on November 11th, 12th and 13th, and will offer three free entries (plus flight and hotel) to the WBA tournament in Nikosia, Cyprus, which is scheduled to November 26-29 and expected to be attended by the top backgammon players in the world (or at least in Europe).

Backgammon tournaments online have many advantages that real-life events lack:

Time:  online backgammon tournaments take place on a daily basis, through out the whole day. Major events, those that offer big money prizes, are usually held in the evening (universal time) or during weekends, making them available for everyone, without having to make a special exception of your regular schedule.

Money:  entry fees to major backgammon tournaments are very expensive, though the first prizes can pay off, the chances of being integrated among the top finalists are not big. In online backgammon, the prizes are relatively smaller, but so are the entry fees. Plus the allocation of the pool is different, and sometimes all of the participant can get some of their share.

Diversity: if you live in a small town with one backgammon club, you would probably run out of competitors after a short time, while in online backgammon you get range of contestants of all skill levels, ages and locations all the time. There is hardly a chance you’ll be paired against the same opponents in two successive tournaments online. On the downside, you can never know who you are playing against.

Bei TrueMoneyGames ist offenbar der Wohlstand ausgebrochen, allerdings bei den Spielern. Nicht nur wurde der Traffic in den Bereichen Poker und Backgammon deutlich gesteigert, im November finden außerdem Races, Freerolls und Turniere im Wert von über 30,000€ statt.

Plötzlich tummeln sich eine ganze Reihe neuer Spieler an den Tischen, sicherlich auch wegen der kaum zu überbietenden Boni, die zyklisch ausgeschüttet werden. Momentan macht der BG30 250% Bonus seine Runde, ein Reload Bonus, der bei der Konkurrenz immernoch seinesgleichen sucht, besonders in der Backgammon Community sind solche Bonusangebote eher eine Seltenheit. Dabei spielt es sich viel angenehmern, wenn man im Hintergrund einen Bonus laufen hat, der permanent Geld abwirft. Auch der Ersteinzahlerbonus in Höhe von 100% ist sicherlich für den neuen Spieler nicht zu unterschätzen und nicht unbeding eine Selbstversändlichkeit.

Wer für lau eine Menge Geld machen will, der sollte sich am 1000€ Poker Freeroll versuchen, dieses Turnier ist bereits für 200 FPPs zu bestreiten. Klar es erfordert offensichtlich eine Einzahlung, aber die Punkte sind recht schnell zusammengespielt und eröffnen die Chance auf wesentlich höhere Geldgewinne in diesem Hold’em Spektakel. Das ist allerdings nicht alles, warum nicht einfach an einen Satellite zum Poker Sunday Special 10,000€ Turnier für schlappe 1€ + 0.10€ mitspielen, natürlich kann man sich auch direkt für ein Buy in von 10€ + 2€ eintragen lassen. Dieses Turnier wird natürlich ebenfalls im allseits beliebten Texas Hold’em gespielt.

Die Backgammon und Poker Races sind im November natürlich ebenfalls ein Highlight für die Spieler. Ganz besonders sticht natürlich das 13.000€ Poker FPP Race hervor, dieses Turnier findet in 3 Abschnitten statt mit einem Echtgeldpreis von jeweils 2250€, dazu kommen noch ein 500€ Warm Up Race und 2000€ an der Siegerehrung für die besten 2 Pokerspieler, insgesammt ist das natürlich eine ganze Stange Geld die man gewinnen kann. Dabei ist es ganz gleich wie die Punkte zusammengetragen werden, ob nun im Hold’em, Omaha, 7 Stud oder durch Turniere, das Endergebnis zählt.

Simultan finden noch 3 weitere Races statt, die man natürlich ohne weiteres gleichzeitig bestreiten kann. Darunter ein SnG Race, ein Omaha Race und natürlich ein Most Played Hands Race. Die Bedingungen sind bei allen Wettbewerben ähnlich. In 3 Abschnitten werden jeweils Echtgeldpreise in Höhe von 750€ Ausgespielt, dadurch bietet sich die Gelegenheit gleich mehrmals Geld zu kassieren. Online Backgammon und Poker Turniere

Als Backgammonspieler hat man aber auch richtig gute Karten im November, denn auch hier findet ein Backgammon FPP Race statt, mit einem Echtgeldgewinn von 500€. Es lohnt sich also die Steine am Brett anzuordnen und richtig loszulegen, um die Bankroll mit etwas Geld aufzustocken.

Hier könnt ihr direkt loslegen und Online Poker und Backgammon spielen!