Synopsis:

As one of New York’s top sex therapists, Dr Morgan Snow sees everything from the abused to the depraved. From high-profile clients with twisted obsessions to courageous survivors, the Butterfield Institute is the sanctuary to heal battered souls.

Morgan Snow’s newest patient is a powerful, influential man – secretly addicted to watching Internet web cam pornography. He’s not alone in his desires. She’s also working with a group of high school teenagers equally and dangerously obsessed with these real-time fantasies.

Fantasies that are all too accessible.

Then the women start dying online, right in front of their eyes. Now it’s all about murder.

***** ***** *****

BackTracks is a collection of movie and book reviews previously published from my old multiply site. what you’re about to read is only a short review (since back then i don’t relish detailing my experience on a particular movie or book) but if you want to talk more about it, then shoot me an email!

a definite suspense.

first novel i read from the author and i liked it. easy to read and the instances cited in the book is relatable.

The plot is realistic, considering the magic of internet is fullblown as it is. the killer is a very unlikely one.

although the main character is not built up as it should have, the story is nerve-wrecking.

*

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.: maria :.

“giving up is the ultimate tragedy.”

Macavity Award for Best Mystery Novel (1994), Edgar Award for Best Novel (1994)

Synopsis:

‘It was a slaughterhouse, the most horrific scene I have ever witnessed…Olive Martin is a dangerous woman.’

Rosalind Leigh has no idea what awaits her inside the prison walls. As a journalist, she knows all about the case, of course. How Olive Martin had been found, five years earlier, cradling the bodies of her dead mother and younger sister; how she had pleaded guilty to both murder charges at the time of the trial; why she had been nicknamed ‘The Sculptress’…

Despite Olive’s protestations of guilt, however, Roz is convinced that she is hiding something – even perhaps her innocence. So who is Olive protecting, and why?

As Roz battles to come to terms with her own private tragedy, her determination to uncover the truth becomes an all-consuming obsession. Then she meets Hal Hawksley – Olive’s arresting officer – and her confusion deepens…

Only one thing is certain. Roz will never forget the day she first met Olive Martin. It is an encounter destined to change her life. For ever.

***** ***** *****

BackTracks is a collection of movie and book reviews previously published from my old multiply site. what you’re about to read is only a short review (since back then i don’t relish detailing my experience on a particular movie or book) but if you want to talk more about it, then shoot me an email!

This book is a Crime Choice of the Year awardee, and well deserved!

It has a very intricate plot but you won’t be confused with the story.

The character of the sculptress is very real. Sometimes i hate her. But there are times i took pity on her. Her character evolved so beautifully from the first page up to the last one.  

the author is a superb storyteller. this is the second book i read from her (first one is The Shape of Snakes) and i must say that only in this book did she make a fan out of me.

The killer will render you immobile when you found out the truth for the chances of pointing him/her as the culprit is very, very unlikely. but once the story behind the killing is revealed, you’ll see the light, that he/she is capable of such a horrific crime.

i recommend this book to those who want to be shocked.

*

*

.: maria :.

“giving up is the ultimate tragedy.”

Synopsis:

Holly couldn’t live without her husband Gerry, until the day she had to. They were the kind of young couple who could finish each other’s sentences. When Gerry succumbs to a terminal illness and dies, 30-year-old Holly is set adrift, unable to pick up the pieces. But with the help of a series of letters her husband left her before he died and a little nudging from an eccentric assortment of family and friends, she learns to laugh, overcome her fears, and discover a world she never knew existed.

***** ***** *****

BackTracks is a collection of movie and book reviews previously published from my old multiply site. what you’re about to read is only a short review (since back then i don’t relish detailing my experience on a particular movie or book) but if you want to talk more about it, then shoot me an email!

kinda disappointed with the book, i was expecting to read some of the scenes from the movie but it was another story! maybe that’s the perils of watching the movie adaptation first before reading the book… but the characters are not at all the same, i got confused to tell you the truth.

although there are chapters (or Gerry’s letters) that are really heart-wrenching it makes you wanna cry (or something!) like the letter about the dolphins.

i think i’m gonna watch the movie again and compare notes… i was really disappointed. sigh.

*

*

.: maria :.

“giving up is the ultimate tragedy.”

*Written by Rob Rimes

1. Introduction:

How can anyone that really listens to Donald Trump, especially a conservative or libertarian, want to vote for that pandering douche? A viable presidential candidate? C’mon, really?! He’s contradicted himself multiple times in multiple interviews without really saying anything of substance. In his recent Hannity interview (posted here), he starts to say what he’s thinking, gauges Hannity’s reaction, backtracks and then switches. He’s full of shit but yet so many of you “love what he’s saying.” I don’t get it, I really don’t. Then again the people loving Trump are the same people who thought that these Tea Party candidates weren’t going to be useless once voted in. Apart from Rand Paul, the majority of the Tea Party candidates are just lying neocons, at least so far. Well, Trump is worse than a neocon. In reality, he would be worse for this country than Obama.

“The Douche” or “The Donald” as he likes to be called, has had a lot of lame interviews recently discussing his political aspirations and his P.O.V.  on the issues. His P.O.V. has been incredibly inconsistent as has his political track record when looking at candidates he has endorsed. Trump is a panderer and someone who cannot be trusted with the most important job in this country, if not the world. Out of all the recent interviews to analyze and challenge, I have chosen to go with the recent Hannity interview as it has the most material to dissect. Hopefully, after reading this, you won’t be so naive in regards to this two-faced self-promoting glory hound who cares nothing for the people of this country.

2. Affiliation, Getting It, Polls, Conservatism & Contributions:

Getting right to it, the first thing brought up in the Hannity interview was whether Trump was actually going to run or not. He said that he would make an announcement soon and left it wide open. He then went on a tirade about Barack Obama being the worst president in the history of the country. He could be right, he could be wrong but it’s not like he is dropping any real knowledge on us. He tells us that he is the best candidate because he is Obama’s nightmare. He claims that he understands how Obama works, that he “gets it” and Obama does not. He never tells us how he gets it, he just wants to be clear that he does “get it”. If “getting it” means, playing the game by filibustering and and promising nothing, then I guess Trump is the master. However, isn’t that what Obama has been doing, so isn’t this just more of the same?

Trump goes on to boast about how he is the king of all the polls and how polls are a science. He tells us how great he is because they prove he is the right man for the job and he hasn’t even done anything yet to earn that distinction and recognition. He uses that to pretty much make the viewer believe that if he did start making moves towards a presidential campaign that he would be blowing Obama out of the water even more. Trump is selling himself as a product but still hasn’t given us anything to really latch onto. Yet, many of you have a huge crush on this celebrity cockturd turned maybe-politician. The polls just show the idiocy of the American people and their obsession with celebrity. Hell, if you asked the MTV crowd who they wanted running the country, they’d all pick the Situation over Mike Huckabee.

The Donald then boasts about how if he did run, they’d have to put his financial information out there publicly. He goes on to say that he is rich and he’s done a great job but doesn’t explain how or the path that led him to the top of the mountain. He doesn’t bring up all the failures and bankruptcies, not that that is even really a bad thing but he pimps himself out as an infallible finance mastermind that has the key to solve all of our economic woes.

Trump then describes himself to Hannity as a “conservative person”. He then backtracks a bit and says that he is “a conservative with a big heart.” Well, that looks like he is a guy trying to play both sides. He’s got to let those bleeding heart liberals know that he is sensitive to the plight of the proletariat.

Hannity then brings up the claim that Trump made, that if he were to lose the Republican primary, that he would run as an independent. Trump quickly responded by saying he “meant” to say that he would “consider running as an independent” if he didn’t get the Republican nomination, after trying to appeal to their voter base and garner their support. See, Trump has no allegiance and he knows that many in the GOP will back him if he plays the game right. If he doesn’t get the nomination, he’ll fuck the Republicans over and run against them and Obama, thus making Obama’s path back to the White House much easier by splitting the choices three ways instead of two. Trump obviously doesn’t care about the people and the country or even beating Obama. If he did, he would respect the people’s decision in the primary and then back any and all opposition against Obama. I mean, that is, if Obama is the “worst president ever” as Trump claims only two minutes earlier in the same interview.

As Hannity presses the fact that Trump running as an independent would devastate the GOP, Trump panders and says that he would only run if he really believed that he could win beyond a shadow of a doubt. Well if that were the case douchenuts, shouldn’t you have owned the primary? If you can’t even get through the primary process then how can you all of a sudden be the frontrunner? You’re pandering homeboy and you are just appeasing Hannity and his audience by backtracking on your statements and giving them the assurance that you think they need.

When Hannity asks Trump to explain what makes him a conservative, Trump says that he likes people who work and then goes on a tangent about how he is speaking to the Tea Party in Boca Raton, FL and how they had 200 people showing up but once he became involved they had to move the location as thousands were now going to be there. Ah, more shameless self-promotion and self-pimping that skirts around the question asked. He then says he loves the Tea Party because they are “workers” and that they “love America”. He talks about how they were the first group to make people think about the deficit. Um, where have you been dude, people have been bitching about the deficit as long as I can remember.

Hannity then brings up the fact that Trump has donated to anti-Tea Party candidates like Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer and various other Democrats. Trump responds with “Well, I get along with everybody.” Really dude? Really? That’s your answer? Trump continues to explain his stance on this by saying that he comes “from a place that is almost exclusively Democratic.” He says that Republicans don’t have a chance in New York, therefore Republicans don’t even think about New York? What kind of answer is that? What the hell does that mean? Oh.. wait.. he has more to say on it? Trump continues with “Everyone is Democratic, so what am I going to do, contribute to Republicans?” Um, yes dude! So essentially, you want to fight the evil that you supposedly see but your way of doing that is by giving campaign contributions to that very same evil?! How the fuck does that make any sense? To you conservatives supporting this guy, explain this to me! Did Princess Leia send campaign contributions to the Empire? Trump explains that he gives the Democrats money because it is time that we “all get along”. What a deluded fuck. So where is that money for GOP candidates?

I remember in 1995, when Trump teased a presidential run and he came out dissing Republicans saying that the rich needed to be taxed more. Funny, sounds a lot like a liberal and something Obama would say.

3. GOP Competition, Platform, Filibustering, Doubletalk & Islam:

In the next segment of the interview, Sean Hannity asks Trump which of the GOP candidates does he like. Trump, of course pandering to every group watching, says he likes them all. He talks about how he isn’t looking forward to the possibility of running against any of them because he likes them all so much. Dude, shut the fuck up and take a stance! All the candidates have differences, even if they are somewhat subtle. Tell us why you are better than them, break them down or do you not really know what their platforms are? Do you not know who or what you are running against? Do you even know what YOU are running on? I mean, you haven’t made it clear to any of us, that’s for damn sure. All Trump can do here is talk about how every Republican candidate has nice things to say about him and how they are all seemingly backing him. I bet the Donald sniffs his own farts.

Trump then goes on another off topic filibustering tirade about how the numbers aren’t as bad as we think in regards to our economy. Hannity then says that it is a large number, where Trump says “yes it is.” What?! Make up your fucking mind cockpuppet! Then he tells us that we lose money on every country we deal with. Okay homie, so how are the numbers not as bad as we think they are? How are you comforting us here and convincing us that we shouldn’t worry as much as we are? Then he switches again and goes on about how Japan treated us like fools for years and now want our help. What are you talking about again? I’m fucking lost.

Another Trump “but” is when he says that he loves Paul Ryan but he is a little too far out in front. Trump has nothing but double negatives and “buts” in this interview. See, Trump is claiming to relate to the Tea Party and fiscal conservativeness but he wants to keep Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and other entitlements. Wait.. I guess he is like most of the Tea Party then since they want to bitch about spending but they won’t cut their own special programs that youngsters like me have to pay for with no ROI when our time comes.

Hannity explains to Trump the strain that these entitlements have on the economy and Trump doesn’t really respond, he just says that Republicans and Democrats have to work together and he will basically make that happen. Yeah dude, good luck with that. This guy must get some good weed because he’s just walking around in one big fantastical hallucination.

Hannity asks Trump how he would balance the budget. Trump also doesn’t have an answer for this. He just lets us know, as if we are oblivious to the problem, that we are losing a ton of money and jobs. He then switches it to talk about how China is “stealing” our jobs. He then drops the most insightful comment I have ever heard, “The best thing for balancing the budget, is to have a strong economy.” What does that even mean dude, and I’m sure you can’t answer that either.

Trump is then confronted with the fact that he received criticism for his comment that he “gets a negative vibe from the Qur’an.” He then says that something must be going on because every time he turns on a television, a hundred people are killed in a grocery store in Iraq. I wonder if that happens every time I turn on a T.V.? He then talks about soldiers with missing arms and legs and pretty much implies that this is due to Islam.

He then makes a statement that he sells as great, before he even tells Hannity or his audience. That statement is, that “Iran will take over Iraq two minutes after we leave.” Wow, how profound. Trump says that this has already started. Well, I want to see his intel then. Why not share that with the media and the Pentagon. It’s all just bullshit specualtion and scare tactics to get you, the voter, behind this “prophetic” tool. Trump implies that Iran will take the oil. His solution? We take the oil for ourselves because his justification is “in the old days, when you won a country you won a country.” Wait, we won a country? Trump says that “at a minimum” the Iraqis should pay us back for their liberation with $1.5 trillion dollars in oil. Woohoo! Freedom!

4. Nukes, Israel, Christianity, Trials & the Environment:

Sean Hannity kicks off the third segment of the interview by asking Trump if he supports Israel. Without directly answering “yes” or “no” Donald toots his own shitty horn again by boasting about how he has a park named after him in Israel. Who the fuck cares shitpickle! I have an ex-girlfriend with my name tattooed on her ass. That’s cooler than a fucking park in Israel! And guess what dude, I didn’t have to donate money for it like you did. He then talks about how he has lots of Jewish friends. No shit, you live in New York.

Trump then switches the topic to Obama and teacher’s unions. M’kay, what’s that got to do with Israel? Apparently Trump is mad because Obama didn’t walk with the teachers in Wisconsin like he had promised. Okay, is Trump siding with the unions here? Is his inner libtard coming through?

Hannity asks Trump if he is a Christian. Trumps says “I am a protestant, I’m a presbyterian.” He says he is pro-life, against gay marriage but then admits that he has changed his views back and forth over the years. He gets into the issue of abortion and admits that he has been torn over it but is in favor of the death penalty. I guess he has his religious points down.

So with the death penalty issue he switches the topic from religion into talking about terrorists. He says that he wants them to be put to death with a speedy trial. He favors military tribunals over public trials because bringing a terrorist to New York would create “riots, this and that.”

He then switches the subject of military tribunals into talking about how great the military is. He says he would not cut military spending and in fact he would increase the military. Trump claims that he would create the strongest military we’ve ever had. Then before Hannity can delve into that tidbit, Trump flips the script and goes on to talk about how much money Columbia made off of us. Hold up man, expand on your statement. Why are you going from A to Z to M to Q to L to V to F? This guy needs some fucking Ritalin!

Sean Hannity then asks Trump who his favorite presidents are. Trump likes Reagan, of course he does, he is talking to the world’s most famous Reaganite. In 1987, Trump paid for full page anti-Reagan ads in various magazines and newspapers. I guess he forgot about that. Now as Trump flashes back to his memory of seeing Reagan, he says “There is our president. I thought he represented something very special for this country.”

On energy, Trump, in an effort to not ostracize any industry that could financially back him, pretty much says that he supports everything: oil, nuclear and alternative sources. Then he boasts about all his environmental awards received for great golf courses he built. Seriously dude, what the fuck? Let me try and figure out how I can work in to this article the fact that I was on the honor roll in third grade. Ooh, I just did. Did I also mention that I won a camera as the first prize in an art contest and that I had the best finishing time on the obstacle course when my ROTC squad was invited to a real boot camp? I am also a dog lover and loved by dogs as well. I’ve published a book, I’ve made a grilled cheese without my mum’s help and I used to run 13 miles a day. Did I mention that I built a bookshelf by myself and regularly win at backgammon on my iPhone?

Trump then talks about how good he is with the environment because he has lots of environmental consultants. Yeah bro, so does Al Gore.

5. Birther Bullshit, Ayers, Wright, Conspiracies & Obama Bashing:

The first segment of the second day of Hannity’s lengthy interview starts with Trump being confronted with his obsession over Obama’s birth certificate. Hannity talks about the fact that Trump has a team of investigators in Hawaii trying to find out the “truth”. In reality, this is Trump’s “trump card” and the focal point of all his political mumbo jumbo. He has no issues to run on or really discuss apart from trying to prove that Obama is not an American citizen. So while the idiot GOPers line up in support of this conspiracy theorist with no substance, the Obama Administration is laughing and further discrediting the sanity of their opponents. The birther issue is a waste of fucking time. Anyway, Trump is proudly moving forward with it.

In response to Hannity bringing up Trump’s favorite subject, the Donald responded with “I don’t love this issue, I’d rather be talking about how China is ripping us off, how OPEC is [pause, then switches back to the birther topic!].” Well, if you would rather talk about those things, talk about them! Why is this birther investigation seemingly the top priority? I mean, I know the media blows things out of proportion but truth is, Trump is pushing the issue, constantly! Every time you see him, he initiates the subject and pushes the bar. The reason being is that it is controversial and it keeps people talking about Trump. No one would care if he was bitching about China and OPEC and he knows this. So he has latched onto a controversial topic that the other candidates won’t touch because they want to play it safe. His birther tactics are a well calculated scheme but also a double-edged sword.

Then after saying he’d rather talk about China and OPEC, Trump spends the rest of the segment talking about the details of the birth certificate issue. See, he may say he doesn’t want to focus on it but the issue is obviously his passion here. He downplays it yet when it comes up, he makes it take over the conversation. He keeps the rhetoric going. What happened to Donald “Switcheroo” Trump who kept flipping the script and going off topic like an Alzheimer’s patient? Now he is focused and staying on topic. Now he’s comfortable. But yeah, he’d rather talk about Red China and Evil OPEC.

Trump then expands the birther topic into talking about how Obama is actually probably a muslim, how he changed his name from Barry Soetoro, how he had bad grades but ended up in Harvard and how Bill Ayers wrote his first book, which was “better than Hemingway.” M’kay dude, still waiting for you to stop talking about what you don’t like talking about. Rumor has it, if Jesse Ventura doesn’t do a third season of ‘Conspiracy Theory’ for TruTV they are going to ask Trump to do it.

Oh, he’s not done yet? Now he’s bashing Obama for his relationship with Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright. Yeah, we are all aware of this. Trump has to take the opportunity though to explain that Obama frequented a church that spewed hatred towards white people. This is the “demonize the enemy” part of the interview apparently. While Trump regurgitates Glenn Beck’s talking points for the last three years, Hannity just nods and lets him continue. So while talking about Ayers writing Obama’s first book, Trump boasts that he knows something about writing because he wrote a bunch of best-sellers. I’m glad Trump is an expert on everything.

The Obama bashing continues even longer. Glad to see Trump is so focused on Obama and not himself or his political platform. He’s definitely got his anti-Obama talking points down. So far the only pro-Trump talking points are about how he has won environmental awards, has written best-sellers, invented cheese and was the first to claim that Pluto wasn’t a planet. Surprisingly he hasn’t yet boasted about inventing the “dead cat” hairstyle.

Now Hannity jumps in on the Obama bashing by mentioning how Obama dropped Ayers, Wright and others who made him. This leads Trump to go on a tirade about how Obama has no loyalties. Yawn! Yeah dude, we know. Can we talk more about your plan to save America? Nope, didn’t think so.

Great now we’re back to the birther issue and Donald bitching about Obama’s “free ride”. There isn’t much left to analyze here because this rant has taken up fifteen minutes. Trump is a chump and obviously has nothing real to say. It sucks that I had to sit through a two day interview and walked away with no real insight as to what Donald Trump plans to do to fix this country. Instead I just got to hear about how great he is and how bad Obama is.

6. Conclusion:

Donald Trump is not a serious candidate. He has no idea what he is doing. The only reason people in the GOP are backing him is because he is bashing Obama, he tells them whatever they want to hear and he’s a celebrity. Yes, this country has become so shallow that a guy with a reality show and a dead cat on his head can actually be considered a viable candidate for President of the United States. The sad reality is that Trump has a real chance. To me, that is incredibly fucking scary!

This man would be worse for this country than Barack Obama. That is a crazy statement at this point but I truly believe it. At least Obama had an agenda and he stuck to it. Sure he lied about some things, they all do, but he presented himself as a socialist and he has implemented socialist change in our crumbling capitalistic country. Trump has no agenda apart from trying to prove that Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen. His wild goose chase takes precedence over unemployment, the fact that we are in three wars, the economy, foreign policy, the war on drugs, immigration or anything else that is currently dividing the country. Nope, Trump would prefer to pander to both sides, present himself as some sort of moderate-conservative that supports progressive candidates while pretending he is the host of ‘Conspiracy Theory’.

Trump does have Obama beat in one area though. He has worked a real job and he has built up a successful empire. I can’t leave this as just a blatant Trump bashing. I think that his success is great and he has created opportunity for thousands upon thousands of people and he knows how to create jobs. All I ask, is that if he is seriously going to run for president, he needs to switch his focus to that. Fuck the birth certificate, fuck boasting about your trivial accolades and fuck this pandering crap. State your stance, stick to your guns and give us a solution to the problem. Show us your plan, not your trophies. Until then, no one that is actually a critical thinker and a real libertarian or conservative can ever take you seriously. If you aren’t really planning on running, step the fuck off and stop playing with people’s emotions. Times are hard and you’re acting like the class clown. This is the most serious election we have had in decades. To you, it seems, it is just a publicity stunt.

.

Price: $40.98

Click here to buy from Amazon

Please visit the following:

• Optimistic Voodoo [my official site]
• …genre blogs The Yaoi Review, Boys-Luv.com, or Boys Next Door.
• Free comics from Yaoi911
• or Japanese digital yaoi comics at eManga.com

Thank you.

I’ve become a Dunkin Donuts coffee addict. I bought a bag on a whim last month, just to compare it to Starbucks—its damn good stuff. 0_0   The grocery store didn’t have my turbo flavor today, so I bought a bag of Entenmann’s Coffee, will try that tomorrow.   My thyroid is officially regulated– again.  If I had a dime for ever time a doctor told me this,  I could finally buy that Barbie I’ve had my eye on at the Walmart. Since going to a ZERO carb diet and working out five days a week on the elliptical, I’ve dropped ten pounds in this month.  I knew exercise wasn’t enough; I just didn’t want to admit it. >_<   Do I mind eating no carbs? Yes. I miss my potatoes, rice, noodles, and bread—but even portioning those was not working in tandem with my exercise.  Perhaps once I get to the weight I was a couple years ago, I ‘ll go back to ‘some carbs’ but at this time…no way.  Lucky for me, there’s a plethora of precooked roasts and meat entrée’s – I buy those, split them into two meals and toss some canned vegetable in there.  So far so good and it’s better than ANY pre packaged freeze-dried crap you have to pay for up front, and never eat.

So I tried the let me handle my own grades game plan with my son this semester, and its not working. He’s failing three classes again, mostly due to not turning in homework—honestly? How the hell do FAIL gym class? Seriously? It seems he’s not dressing for gym and he’s not handing in written work. Seriously? How the fuck do you have written work in gym class?? 0_o It seems that participation is no longer the main requirement in passing gym—which by the way, is now called ‘Personal Fitness’ and he’s got a 50.  My daughter’s lowest grade is an 88 – and that’s in math. She tanked a quiz on Rectanglar & Triangular Prisms and then bombed a test on Geometry & Measurement. I do not chastise my daughter for her grades because she’s still ranked in the top 10% of her school district—however, How the hell do you  ‘not-get’ geometry when you draw comics?

Always curious about my name on the net—so I googled. I had no idea that Comics Should Be Good reviewed a book of mine. I remember sending in material [Loud Snow was returned to me because the sender wasn’t there anymore] but other materials were sent. Lucky for me the review was good [they're gonna hate Only Words!], but I think I acted like a jerk when asking for better ‘link-to’ sales options. :/  I hope I didn’t offend anyone.  ALSO—I noticed that the wiki page on me was added to, I was wondering when someone was going to note that I’m no longer writing GloBL.  I guess they were waiting for a better citation other than my own blog or Twitter. ((^_^))  Ok, my daughter says that putting my face on my web site is the most egotistical thing she’s ever seen.   0_0  It’s no different than an authors face on the dust jacket of a book–so I am what I am.

Speaking of writing, I start revisions for ‘Boy 90’ this weekend—I don’t have to work a Saturday AND I have Monday off. Don’t ask me how I managed that one; my manager must have been out to lunch when she did the schedules.   I’ve been juggling various short projects, but Boy 90 is getting my focus, it’s going to be part of a short story anthology I’m writing.

As for work, the branch interviewed two lead tellers this week, both are guys. We have no men in our branch, so May will be interesting.  Times have changed you know, it’s time to start giving the menfolk access to the cash, and positions behind the teller line. ^_^

Spouse and I are still catching up on BSG via Netflix download.  Other highlights this week were Justified [as always] and last nights ep of Archer.  The Rampage was excellent.  Can’t wait till next week though… the promo clip for that was priceless.

Loud Snow [my globl doujinshi with artist Amelie Belcher] is on the list of nominations for Best New Yaoi Manga 2010 over at About.Manga.com Naturally, I’m aware that there’s NO WAY a globl doujinshi is ever going to beat such fresh NEW yaoi titles like Kizuna. Maiden Rose, or Cute Devil– mainly because no matter how old those titles are, they’re still REEL YOWEE and Loud Snow is just some unacceptable-clone as evidenced here in this display of dickery.

Yet I’m jazzed to be nominated [and thankful the friends that I begged to nominate it took pity on me enough to do so].   I know we won’t win up against the real deals and the uberfans of the Japanese product, but it’s nice to see an original English language book up there…it’s even nicer when it’s one of mine.  (^_-)

Boss Micro-Br Recorder

Today I found and picked up a used Boss Micro BR portable music recorder here in Japan. It’s incredibly small and very light weight. I currently don’t have any recording devices other than samplers, loopers, or the computer. I thought about getting a larger recording device, but I always felt that the computer was probably the best choice for me so I tend to use that when I need to record.

There were several factors that prompted me to buy the Boss Micro BR. Originally I was considering the Korg Sound on Sound Portable Multitrack recorder which I still like, however I can only find it new and I’m not ready to pay full price for one yet. I basically bought the Boss Micro BR (unit only) for $50. The 128mb demo SD card was found inside but that was it. At home here I already have an extra AC Adapter plus a 2GB sandisk memory card that worked great although I’ve heard the Boss Micro-br only works up to 1GB. That’s fine for now though. I also had plenty of cables and the manuals are all available online which I prefer. Being in Japan, most manuals are in Japanese anyway so I obviously migrate to the internet to get the necessary literature.

Although I play the keyboard most of the time nowadays, I grew up playing and still play the electric guitar. I find that the Boss Micro-br is FANTASTIC for sitting anywhere in the studio, house, or even outside for playing. The Boss Micro BR runs on batteries and I can just sit anywhere and jam on the guitar to either the built-in drum machine or to backing tracks that I record. I even think it’s possible to create your own drum patterns using a Drum Pattern Arranger which is available via shareware. I can also use the available conversion software and either import or export WAVs and/or MP3s which is nice.

Basically though, the Boss Micro BR is a fun little unit. I grew up in the 80′s and the only thing close to this that I once had was the Tom Scholz Rockman which had that “Boston” Rock sound I recall. I never really used it much because I remember it being quite one dimensional with the “Boston” sound and there were other little quirks too like no drum machine and you couldn’t record on it. It was great at the time because I could jam on my guitar while walking around the house. It was certainly a novelty at best. With the Boss Micro BR I can get a very good amp simulator, great quality sound, and loads of effects. Plus I get a dedicated drum machine and 4 tracks to record ideas and/or back tracks. Through headphones the Boss Micro BR really sounds fantastic. Some people are critical of the distortion, but again coming from the old classic Rockman of the 80′s I find the distortion to be better than anything I’ve ever heard unless of course you are a big Boston fanatic…laugh.

I also will likely use the Boss Micro BR as a voice recorder and MP3 player. I tried both and it performs very well with these two functions. I also own another Voice-Trek recorder which I use quite a bit. Being in Japan, I often send MP3 voice messages to family and friends, so it’s nice to have a backup with the Boss Micro BR. I’m also constantly listening to music and knowing I have something I can use as a backup MP3 player is great. I’ll probably throw all kinds of music and podcasts on this. Plus you can use the Boss Micro BR as a means to slow down music for learning songs, chords and riffs for either the guitar or the keyboard. This works very well also. It will also be great to throw the Boss Micro BR into my Roland SH-01 GAIA case and have something to record or jam with on the go.

I bought the Boss Micro BR over competing brands simply because it had a rock bottom “used” price and it had some pretty good functions to start my recording with. Whether I move on to something else or not will likely happen if I encounter some major problems or find a used Korg SoS recorder for a good price. There may be something else out there as well and if anyone can recommend a good portable music recorder alternative, please leave a comment. I’d sure appreciate it.

Although Music recorders have been around for a few years now, it’s still a slight volatile market with updates happening every year or less it seems. I think the Boss Micro BR was released in 2006 if correct. All in all though it’s a fun little device and can be used and enjoyed in many different ways. Support from Boss seems to be good and so far I haven’t had any issues with learning how to operate the device. Some say it’s overly complicated, but as a synth player, computer programmer, and overall sound nut, I find it’s not that hard really. Like everything else, it just requires a bit of work to learn initially and then you’re off and running. Again, my expectations are low and requirements are simple, so perhaps that’s why it’s been a good match so far.

Should be fun doing some keyboard jams with it too!! Enjoy!

AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson has confirmed that the band will likely release a live album soon. Johnson confirmed the news during an interview on the U.K.’s Chris Evans Breakfast Show.

The new album will reportedly contain performances recorded during the band’s Black Ice tour. The trek has been ongoing for past two years, selling more than five million tickets worldwide.

Rumors are swirling that the band will also release a DVD with footage from the band’s December 2009 show in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

The new disc will be AC/DC’s first full-length live album since 1997′s Bonfire. There is no word on an official release date.

In November 2009, the band released Backtracks, a triple-CD, double-DVD box set. The collection includes rare tracks and live versions of several of the band’s songs

Their Branch Manager insists that I’ll be there the last week of August, while my current ABM has scheduled me at the Northwest Austin branch until September, and says I won’t be moving until sometime in September.  Hmmm.   To be honest, if they ask me to stay, I might say no—mainly because to commute to the Northwest branch at ElSalido is a complete pain in the ass these days.  There’s only two ways to get there that don’t involve a toll road, and both were traffic headaches before – now they’re over-the-top unbearable, since construction began on both routes.  Lakeline to Cypress has some sort of side walk drainage work going on—which limits the once 45MPH 2 lane road to, one lane and 25MPH.  The other road I can use is Bagdad to 1431– which is a speed trap in that it’s two lanes – limited residential/zero business, and only 35MPH allowed.  Cops are on it every day.  So what could be a ten minute drive, turns into a 25 minute drive – and of course there are traffic lights to add insult to injury.  I have to leave 1 hour early, in order to make it into the branch at El Salido – but when you look on a map or even mapquest it…it has the nerve to suggest its only 24 minutes.  :/    The other branch is roughly the same distance give or take—but here’s the beauty of it…already an established area.  No construction and limited traffic as I would just drive to the 183 alternate [65 MPH] make a left on 29 [70MPH] – drive 8 minutes to Old Church Road [45MPH] – right to the branch.  Total drive time is about 26 minutes.  No stress, no hassle…damn I can’t wait!

Movie talk – finally saw Wolfman.  Loved the production values.  Brought back memories of the Hammer-horrors I loved as a kid; even the writing felt ‘Hammer’.  I count this one as a ‘collectible’ UniHorror remake.  The Mummy being the other [the first one, not the ham handed sequel or that ridiculous 'Asian-Trend Whoring' third installment].    Sorry Dracula, but didn’t like Rider and hated Reeves – not even Gary Oldman could cancel out that mess.  And no– still waiting on a proper Frankenstein remake; and something tells me the Creature from the Black Lagoon will be a digital nightmare that will make me hate it.  A Black Cat remake would be nice…slash fandom would certainly welcome it– and the media would piss me off by calling it ‘Brokeback Horror’.  :/

Also on tap is the Airbender fiasco.  I’ve seen multiple articles of late talking about how Airbender failed because of bad writing, bad acting etc.  Not one mention of the white-washing of the cast?  There were at least three groups critical of the films casting before it was released–these groups contained thousands of members; comprised a large portion of the adult fandom of the animated series.  These people didn’t buy tickets– these people didn’t take their kids to said film.  Don’t ignore the obvious Hollywood-media.  The race issues surrounding the cast were major issues before filming began.  The film was transitioned to 3D because the distributors knew they were going to take a beating after opening weekend.  This is a shinning example of what Joe Dante recently said about the perils of   ’3D’ films trending in Hollywood.  The film wasn’t shot for 3D depiction – it had no business being developed into 3D in post production.  :/  Now Airbender fans know what we Dragonball fans endured with Dragonball Evolution. There are times when Hollywood doesn’t know best.  Really.  They just don’t know best.  [and in light of the 'Old Shit' subject I plan to address, I'm going to refrain from also citing notable television examples-- let's not talk about SeaQuest...]

Writer Stuff:

I’ve been staying off the internet in order to get back to more productive world-building.   So far it’s working.

Spoke to Amelie about German publisher.  At this point, we both give up.  We’ve done our best and that’s the best we can do.  If they say it’s not good enough to refrain from paying us, so be it.  We’re done with them, they’re done with us.  KINDLE sales for Loud Snow have been fantastic, and print sales are picking up.  Amelie has a convention in Florida coming up, and she plans to move her share of the books there – I’m selling to my normal channels via Amazon and BN.com  I’m also taking the reigns over shipping when readers order direct from us.  I made the mistake of trusting a company that doesn’t make shipping my books a priority—so, I’m taking over.  I don’t like waiting for books I order, so I won’t be making anyone else wait either.    On a complete hypocritical note – Amazon is funny; they’ve had Loud Snow in stock for days now, yet still list it as ‘Temporarily Out of Stock’.  Perhaps they sold what I sent and just haven’t reordered.  I got an advantage order today for 1 copy of Only Words, which I plan to ignore until they order more copies.  They know better then to pull this shit with me.  >_<  They’re taking 55% per sale—and I pay to ship.  I don’t ship just one book at a time to any wholesaler that won’t cover shipping.   BN.com still continues to fail on an epic scale – as they’ve contacted me twice to ‘update my title and stock information’ and have yet to fix their online catalog in regard to my titles and what’s available.  It’s almost as if BN.com doesn’t want to sell books.  Or sell books from small publishers.  ^_-

Old Shit:

I noticed the stats on a GGY Meta post coming from Lee Goldberg’s blog; I recall commenting there, mainly because he was shaking his fist once again at evil fanficcers being the reason real authors can’t have nice things.  He was doing his usual salsa about how much they hurt real writers and the craft – but he was using one particular author’s interview [more like cry for attention] as his example—but it was poor example to use.  In terms of poor, I would say– bottom of the barrel + wow is this all you can get today, poor.   Most know that fan-writers of Brokeback Mountain write what they do based on the film, and not that author’s short story.  They also write based on the actors, and not the characters written in that author’s short story [seriously, I've seen Joker/Prince of Persia fic - it's scary].   I made my comment in a rather net-nasty and rude way, and Mr Goldberg commented back accordingly – which I didn’t reply to because hey,  you reap what you sow.   Yet there was something that did annoy me:  his comment seemed to suggest that I had no idea who she was [duh] or what she’s done [bigger duh] and he insulted me for using netspeak.  Ouch, that hurt more anything ((^_^)).    Ok, I’m being assy again, let me stop.   Honestly?  I said what I meant and I meant what I said; I certainly don’t hold grudges or remain asshurt by his response – and was glad to see that some readers agreed with the core of my criticism about the author [in the comments and via email] but I hadn’t gone back to actually see what transpired after I commented.  [narf]  Someone took it upon themselves to cut and past my entire blog entry on why I thought the author cited as an example in Lee’s tirade, needed to have a coke and a smile and shut up.   Her credentials did not warrant the ‘woe-is-me’ nonsense she projected in that interview; and it sent me into a tizzy, because I’d had enough of her crap.  Now I made this blog post because it was the last straw for me with this author because she’s done this shit before– and it’s adversely affected the genre I write for; she’s neither an innovator or a true victim – not in this case.  But commenter at Goldberg’s blog posted my entire blog entry [which in net etiquette is relatively skeezy] and then insulted me a bit.  0_o  The insults suggest again a total lack of context. I’m not one to bring up old shit—matter of fact, I hate it.  Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow, this weird ass commenter was under the impression that ‘I BE FANFICCER, HEER ME RAWR’.

I’m not a veteran television writer; my four year stint in California was limited to admin foot-soldier at Warner, while mentoring with a brilliant hack-master back in the 90’s.  I lost that writer-friend I worked with, to cancer.  Due to this, I never went back to that aspect of the business.  It just wasn’t for me; I saw what it did to her and tagged out.   So when I get spoken too like I’ve never been inside the walls of Babylon, I tend to get a bit bothered.  Spare me the condescension; I’ve seen the working side of things over there and I’m no fool.   I love writing comics, and I turned to writing erotic comics because that seemed more fun at the time.  Writing for me wasn’t a vocation; it was something I did during the day while family was off doing their thing.  I got published; and what I liked about the genre I wrote for, was that I could produce myself; because I was in a genre that celebrated self-production.

Since the economic downturn, being my own business isn’t just a hobby anymore, it’s pricey after you pay your editor and artist – but I stuck with it over submitting to established pubs, because more digital avenues opened up for me to recoup production costs.   Loud Snow taught me a lesson though; publishers haven’t changed, but the fandom has.  They’d rather buy digital first, then purchase a print copy if they like it.  Discovering this was stressful when trying to sell print pre-orders in order to pay for the print run; honestly, my print run was paid for after one convention trip to San Antonio.  =_=;   A kind agent friend told me I needed to refocus my skills and put them toward showcasing my work, and not the genre.   I think that was his way of saying, being the most appealing turd in the toilet doesn’t mean anything when you’re already perceived as shit. I’m not a mainstream writer; writing the everyday bores me – I’ll always be a writer who loves writing for artists or the graphic-minded.  I took his advice though, and have ceased writing comics.  I took on the editorial position at RUSH magazine, only because that’s a project I feel passionate about, but as for writing comics – I’ve definitely thrown in the towel.  Have I stopped writing?  No—I can’t.  It’s compulsive.

Am I an insignificant author who has no right to call another author out for grandstanding on a hallow soapbox?  NO.

Some authors out there may think so, but I don’t.  I’ve had experience in the business they’re in and found it difficult; not because I failed—but because I bailed.  At most it makes me a career-coward, but certainly doesn’t disqualify me from being critical of peer-criticism.    I don’t nag Mr. Goldberg about his gripes with self-publishing and fan fiction, because for the most part, he’s correct.  Yet in this case, with that author as his example and that interview? No way.      /self-important monologue

Social Stuff:

I have a racially diverse friend circle  – and today’s big row is… The Old Spice Guy.   The guy makes me laugh.   They see him as the butt of a joke that never gets old– for white people.  The comical black man making everyone laugh– well not everyone…just white people.   There was a reason Chapelle’s ‘Blind and Black’ Klan member was funny; lots irony there – if you can SEE it.   And while Old Spice Guy doesn’t make my friends as angry as ‘Popeye’s Chicken’ sales lady – he still rubs them the wrong way and  I must admit that I empathize with why.

Remember Beni Gabor from The Mummy film?  Such great comic relief [not to the Jewish lead Brenden Frasier - but to the Irish-American character of O'Connel].  Beni espoused everything funny about…  those lousy JEWS.

• When it’s time to fight – Beni flees, only after saying he’d be there for you.
• When faced with certain death, Beni displays all other forms of worship – except his own, hidden at the bottom of the charm chains.
• Beni is the smart one, and knows it.
• Beni loves riches – and dies for it– unlike that nice goy brother of the heroine who was just as greedy.
• Beni is shifty, not be trusted – he turns coat for the more powerful bad guy, because there’s gold involved…right?

Yeah, Beni Gabor is a hilarious example of what’s wrong with the Jewish people; and when it makes other Jews laugh it’s ok for you to laugh to?    I can see my friends issue with The Old Spice Guy.  I really can.

I’ve been spending my days off preparing for San Japan.  [Updates of that nature will always be at my circle-blog GynoInk].  It feels strange getting ready so early for a con that’s a couple of weeks away – but my work hours don’t allow me adequate free time to do what I need. I wake around 8, do whatever errands I must in order to keep the house going.  I tend to roll into work around eleven, the bank closes at 6 – and then I hit the gym.  I’m home by 7:30 – time enough to eat my dinner, check up on emails – then watch Dragonball Z Kai and fall asleep while watching Colbert.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Colbert—but by the time his guest is on, I’m out.

As you can see, NO TIME for con prep—which involves shopping and preparing stuff.  Lucky for me I had some paid time off recently, and was able to get a bulk of the prep done during that week – most of that week was ate up on pre-press for Loud Snow.  The book is at the printers now, and I should have a proof by the end of this week.  I know—I’m cutting it real close to the bone —but the printer had some FTP issues and I was forced to mail a disk off, eating into my time.  The production person assured me I would have my books by the 8^th, but it would likely require me to have the shipment over-nighted, after my proof approval. A costly expense, but I’m willing to eat it at this point.  =_=;  I have a short work week next week.  The bank is closed on the 5^th, and I work on the 6^th and 7^th and then I have paid time off for San Japan – which is the 9^th-11^th in San Antonio.  I go back to work on Tuesday, the 13^th.

My circle budget is strapped – with nearly every dollar accounted for and going somewhere.  It was strange, I spent all of last year in the black – [I paid off my debt producing Gadarene] and had no real expenses because I hadn’t released anything.  Printing Loud Snow has eaten through my budget like a tribble in a grain barrel – but I’m determined NOT to use credit or go into debt this time.  It certainly makes things more stressful; and all told, if I don’t sell a lionshare of my portion of the books at the convention – I will lost about $50 on overall.  Not a bad deal really – but not cool either.  What has helped is the constant income of digital sales.  KINDLE sales have been top-notch for Loud Snow, which in turn has led to sales of my other digital titles.  I feel like a jerk at times, because I know readers that love Loud Snow will go on to purchase Only Words or Games with Me only to see that Loud Snow was a bit of a departure for me.  It’s not my usual dose of tragedy and melancholy – Loud Snow is a romantic comedy; so hopefully they’ll read the reviews on those titles first, before purchasing!

Real life has been relatively smooth, other then private health issues.  I’ve been hanging in there.  Medical problems can be such an emotional chore; I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have excellent health coverage and a good job.   Summer has hit our budget hard – despite the fact that my spouse and I work all day, and the kids sleep in till 2 in the afternoon…the grocery and electric bill has gone up enough to put a dent in our recreational funds.  Combined with my spouses renovation project and my convention, we have little money to have fun with.  The kids still have plenty of snacks and drinks, a plethora of DirectTV programming, and they’re a down the block from the corner store should they need to re-supply with something unhealthy.  Oh, they also have multiple game consoles and an endless amount of art supplies – both children want for nothing.  :/  Brats.  I refuse to feel guilty about not taking them out more! XP

I need to get off of here and get ready for work.  Lucky me.

THANKS WORDPRESS.

U SUCK.

WHATEVER ISSUE YOU’RE HAVING RIGHT NOW, PLEASE GET OVER IT BY MONDAY.

Today’s been monster hectic.  I’m going in to the bank at 11:30 today, staying till 6 – but it’s a Friday night, so traffic will suck on the way home.  I’m going in tomorrow, and while I don’t mind working Saturdays, I hate getting up early.  >_<

Took care of 2009 quarterly payments today [monies I owe to co-creators].  KINDLE still has not fixed the discrepancy and it’s been two weeks, two phone calls, and four emails.  Bastards. Createspace is down, not allowing me access to my ‘sales count’ page, so I had to backtrack through their monthly emails in order to determine how many print copies were sold of Gadarene – not pleasant, it was so small.    I sent out a reminder email to my German publisher over questions from C about payouts on one book, and L about the release date of another book.  I say reminder because I was hoping to have this email by yesterday, so I could send out the info today with royalties.  No such luck.  They’ll have to wait till I have a free day next week in order to touch base with them.

I wanted to post this here, because when it was posted I completely didn’t see it.

Salanth is the pivotal villain in the Polish graphic novel I wrote called ‘Sacrifice‘.  She is the sister of Sanleth, the young man seen here with her in these scraps I posted at Flickr.   I think the artist is a true master at this style, and I love the design of this character.  Beautiful.

I had an insta-email pitch yesterday that didn’t go well.  In hindsight, I should’ve just said, it’s not done yet- can I email it to you when it is…but I didn’t.  Like an eager n00b, I whipped it out before it was ready.  He didn’t even want to finish reading it until I worked out better details on two of the main characters.  Then he’d read to determine if it’s worth passing off to his bosses.

Must try to work on that project this Sunday, no promises.

I’ve not been reading much, but there’s a ton of reviews coming out on great stuff.  I want to take the time to read, but I don’t have it.  I’ve also felt this complete disconnect to GloBL, which is scary.  Between Rainbow Shoppers no longer selling G-Bless [thanks Bakudan!], the pseudo-heterophobic outcry about m/m fiction  in certain circles, and the typical ‘rape me = love you’ fiction being sold as yaoi prose -  I’ve been utterly BUMMED about all things gay and erotic.  *sigh*  I reminded of something Magda [Gokunobaka] said to me recently – ‘I haven’t had much time to write buttsecks…’ but she didn’t seem upset about it.  It was ok.  Maybe I’ll be ok.  0__0  The curator of the Yaoi Review did ask me for some GloBL creator links, and I shared with her the web comics I’ve been reading – I’m hooked on anything by AgentAgnes, stuff by Dango Sunshine, and Starfighter.   At the same time I want to promote my own ‘Whore of Turfan‘, but I don’t want to come off as self-serving.

Exhibit A <–something happened in comments here that really ticked me off.

For the record, I think telling a writer what they should write and how they should write it, so it doesn’t depict your community in an unrealistic light and makes you feel objectified? You won’t make them stop writing what you don’t like.  :/  Sorry, no one has the ultimate-pull card on anyone’s creative juice.  You have the right NOT to support it, read it, or recommend it.  Shit, you can even write how much it pisses you off and why – but my colors won’t change.  All I can say is that I hope you find the works that make you happy as a reader, but I don’t think you’re going to find it in M/M, so why keep kicking the horse?

BUT…my scandal is with the writers choosing to respond to the above sort of criticism with the ‘exclusionary defense’.
Seriously ladies, come on.

While I understand the poster in Exhibit A is saying - it’s just made up shit, lighten up, wtf? It was her dismissal of a commenter relaying just ‘wtf’ the big deal is to the gay community, that made me realize how much I hate that rebuttal.  Seeing fellow authors tell gay men to mellow out because it’s fiction, ranks up there with a gay man who knows nothing about me or my family tossing me a ‘privilege card.’   I’d personally like to see both of these school-yard pluckers [it's just fiction vs. privilege alert] go the way of the dinosaur please.  For the love of G*d please…

I digress -

Kennsea said in Exhibit A:

“I know a lot of people are feeling defensive at the moment, but it’s on both sides as well. Especially when queer people feel like they are being told to shut up in their own community.”

Wow.  There it is right there.  Sadly, it was dismissed

Let me ask two questions to all m/m writers and comikers out there:

• Are you making books for women, by women?
• Are gay men part of your target audience?

If you answer yes to either question [the second one in particular], then you have to take the opinions of gay men - both pro and con – into consideration, and deal with it as an author…not a fan!

Let me ask you…do you respond to bad reviews?
Many of you say no.

So why are you responding to gay fan criticism as if you’re defending the good-ship M/M?    Don’t act like you don’t know what the FUSS is about, you know exactly what the fuss is about, you just don’t feel like hearing it.  ^_^  You either want their readership or you don’t – you can’t court their community for awards, call your work gay romance and sell it to them, and then tell even one of its members they’re blowing it out of proportion because it’s just fic.

As authors, we have to respect the fact that our work relies on a multi-gender market – if we call it m/m and gay romance, gay men are going to read it.   These readers have opinions and until the majority of your readers share this opinion, only then should you react.  There’s nothing you can do other than to keep on writing.   Yet telling even one reader they should lighten up for taking it too seriously, is wrong if you’re a creator.  Telling any reader anything that resembles ‘you just don’t get it’, is the ultimate evil in my book.  :/  We just don’t have that right, anymore then they have right to MAKE US change what we write.

How did I come to this epiphany as a creator of male/male erotica?

It wasn’t overnight, let me tell you.

For years I was a fan of BL from Japan.  BL from Japan is unrealistic, idealized, bullshit romance porn manga made for women by women; because women are the primary audience, there was no need to consider what gay men thought of it or felt about the genre or the stories or the men depicted in the stories, because it was never for or ‘technically about’, them.

Fast forward a few years later – Yaoi hits the states via legit publishers, AND IMMEDIATELY there was trouble.  You had prominent gay male critics of manga give yaoi a try and state their issues with it–”the mangaka’s lack of empathy with gay men and the community.“.  Yaoi fans cried foul, mainly because ‘yaoi’ in Japan was never meant for men – ergo – “we don’t need to consider their feelings“.   I recall saying: All this fuss over the sex lives of ink.  Yet there was a fuss, because I had male readers to answer to – not in forums and blogs and tweets calling me names – but to the men in my life that self-identified as gay, and the men buying my books that did the same.   :/

I CHOSE not play that exclusionary card as a creator, so I stopped playing it as a fan.  I write for male and female readers, and because I was published, I could no longer comment or ‘be’ a fan.  I tried it, and when I did, I failed big time.

Ladies in m/m, you’ve got a choice to make.  Write for you and your fans, or write what your biggest critics want you to write.  BUT whatever you do, you can’t behave like exclusionary fan-brats.

As a creator, I realized I can’t write my ‘gay erotica’ and then tell gay male fans they can’t read or criticize my genre because - it’s not real life, get over it.  Porn is never balanced.  Whoever is on the lower portion of porn see-saw isn’t going to feel comfortable and should be allowed to have a say – all I can do is listen and then…MOVE ON.  If that’s not good enough for my critics, then they can read another writer’s work.

Gay critics of m/m:  If you’re sure a certain kind of work degrades you, just cut it out of your reading-diet. There’s a reason I tolerate Playboy and refuse to have Hustler anywhere near my eyeballs.  The woman on the cover isn’t me anymore then the men in those m/m fics are “you”.

Creators of m/m:  Don’t shove your centerfolds in my face and say…”it’s hot, lighten up because it’s meant to turn me on. not you.” Ladies, you’ve seen excuse played out in the past on your own gender and it still reeks.  Just put your mag in your pocket and get the hell away from me.

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Sean Meriwether 12.31.09:  Velvet Mafia is squirting its jiz on the wall after 8 years online. We’ve got sexually confused students, runaway convicts, hit men, escaped Jehovah Witnesses, tea room action, and creatures of the night prepared to take you ST8 to Bed! Join our literary deviants as they entertain, enlighten, and stimulate yo…ur own personal economy. Get online and get off with our first balls-to-the-wall issue in 2 years! Read Issue 24.

Guess who wrote the hit men story...take a guess, I dare ya!

“Whore of Turfan” has a lovely new layout for 2010.  Wow.  Lissa and MT never cease to amaze me with their dedication and work on this web comic.  The site looks lovely, and I ADORE the new archive page.  I look at it and I can’t believe they’ve posted that many pages so far. Where has the time gone?  And this icon of me is the greatest thing eva

The gay historical blog Speak It’s Name had it’s year end listing of 5-star reads and Games with Me Volume 1 made the list.  Wow.  It’s the only graphic novel to make the list, so I was ecstatic.

Now on to some less lovely things:

As most bara fans are aware, Bakudan decided to sell all their ML comics exclusively through their own G-Project web store.  Many fans [myself one of them] bought from Rainbow Shoppers in Japan because they were one of the most Western-Friendly stores on the net.  Their comics area offers a host of original and fan doujinshi, a ton of ML, Gachi muchi, and BL for men – but in December, new Bakudan titles didn’t make the front page and ‘Bakudan’ disappeared from the side-bar.   Prices of Bakudan titles went up at RS and places like Big Gym, even Amazon.jp ran out of some titles and no longer restocked.  I emailed RS and because of the holidays they have yet to get back to me – but Bakudan did.  According to them, they’re selling their own mailorder exclusively – their site reflects this with more and more product pages being made available in English.

I don’t quite know how to feel about it.  On the one hand, it is nice to eliminate the middle-man and collect more funds for yourself – but is G-Project an independent circle of artists?  Surely Bakudan isn’t some indy imprint of Furukawa Shobu and so they must eliminate the middle man in order to pay their mangaka.  So what is the reason?  Whatever it is, I can’t imagine it’s going to sit well with all fans in the West.  Once you get used to a store and the way it does things, you get nervous about any change or new set up.    How does G-Project ship their books, is there privacy?  What shipping methods do they use, are they as affordable as RS’s were?  So we pay whatever the publisher says because they’re the only one’s selling their comics? :/  It just feels…weird.  It’s like my parents got a divorce and now I must choose which one to live with – either way it’s going to cost me.  0_o

Was checking out some stuff on the net and noticed that Rainbow Shoppers in Japan stop listing Bakudan titles in their main catalog.  I thought it was due to the fact that they just sold out and wouldn’t be back until after the holiday – but it seems that ‘Bakudan’ as a publisher was also removed from their sidebar.  I checked out G-Project and some of the retailers that used to be on their links page, were gone.

I emailed the G-Project site [Bakudan’s official ‘gay’ publishing arm] and the response was interesting – all comics and mailorder will now be exclusive with G-Project only.  I guess profits are slim and they’re looking to cut out the middle-man distributor?  I still think they should focus on the American market; there are plenty of fans here that love what Bakudan releases.

I got another interesting email this weekend – one from Velvet Mafia.  It seems that their 8^th Anniversary issue is coming up…wow, 8 years.  I’ve submitted to them only once in the past, and it was published – My Victim.  It was a long time ago, very embarrassing because I sent the unedited version and knew they ‘didn’t edit’.  >.>   But this time I made sure that Brohkin’s Blues was edited and ready [thanks Katrina and others] before sending it out over the summer.  Well, thanks to a last minute drop out, my story is going into Velvet Mafia’s 8^th Anniversary Issue.

Off I go…and now it’s sleeting outside.  >_<