Well, I suppose jihadis would never disturb your final resting place…. And if you buy it now, you can take a page from the Kiss Coffin and use it as a beer cooler.

Blogs and Articles in No Particular Order

For quite some time, the publishing industry has been going the way of Kodak and the music industry. Hear that bell tolling? The Big Six don’t. Good thing best selling author Kristen Lamb is on top of this as Microsoft now weds with Barnes & Noble in a move that makes traditional publishing obsolete. A must read for authors. Big Six Publishing is Dead–Welcome the Massive Three

Brace yourselves. If you’re not moved by this, don’t bother checking your pulse. You don’t have one. . . . On Good Friday, 5-month old Avery was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (“SMA”), the number one genetic killer of babies under the age of two in the US. Avery’s parents spent several days in shock, and then got busy working to give their daughter the fullest life she could have. They made Avery’s Bucket List and posted it online to raise awareness of SMA. Then they set to work checking it off. Taste a cupcake, play with Playdoh, go to a ballgame, and so much more. But mostly, Avery and her parents are making millions of people aware of SMA.

Avery’s last smile.

Avery’s motto? Whatever I bring to life, because I don’t have time to wait for life to bring anything to me. Avery passed away in her parents’ arms on April 30. Click here to find out how much this little girl accomplished in twenty-two weeks, and how you can help in the fight against SMA. Avery’s Bucket List

To lighten up a bit, we can always count on the seemingly endless wit of Paige Kellerman. Whether or not you share her horror of health food, this post is funny. Farmer’s Market

Ellie Soderstrom brightens our day, as well, with Hilarious Old Ads. Yes, I actually remember a couple of them.

Every bit as interesting as the horses, but in a very different way, the Kentucky Derby brings all manner of hats out of the woodwork. Don’t Get Poked! — Kentucky Derby Hats Gallery

Tiffany A. White brings out the Oooo! Factor with this week’s Why It’s Worth a Watch Wednesday. Can Sex Mend a Broken Relationship?

Fantastic Twitter advice from Author Kait Nolan. 10 Things Writers Shouldn’t Say in a DM

Teen Girl Petitions Seventeen Magazine to Stop Airbrushing Models. You go, girl!

I love having teens in the house. My son turned me on to the Ultimate Rap Battles of History, and I ended up watching these things for half an hour.

Would you want a bacon coffin? Would you use it as a beer cooler? How about one of those hats?

All the best to all of you for bringing a slice to life.

Piper Bayard–The Pale Writer of the Apocalypse

While the bacon hissed in the frying pan one morning this week, I poured my husband coffee and casually mentioned that I’d decided not to be cremated and sprinkled over the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas when I die. He raised his eyebrows. “Why?” he asked suspiciously, already knowing I had always been adamant that my lifeless body not take up a piece of land that could be used to help create an award-winning golf course one day. I opened the newspaper and pointed to the photo of the coffin painted with red and pink stripes to look like bacon.

“It comes with a bacon air freshener,” I added enthusiastically as I gazed longingly at the photo. “I wonder if I can order my coffin with two eggs, sunny-side up,” I mused as I walked to the stove and flipped the bacon.

My husband shook his head and lifted the Sports section over his eyes. “You know how much I love bacon,” I said as I slowly placed one salty strip of pork after another on a plate. I drummed my fingers on the counter while I waited for the bacon to cool. “I’d really like to leave this life in style,” I added as I picked up a piece of bacon, held it between my fingers like a cigarette, and took a tiny bite. “Did you know you can make roses out of bacon? Wouldn’t those be lovely on top of my coffin?” I took another bite of bacon and looked off in the distance. Maybe it was the smell of the bacon cooking or the thought of basking in the aroma of bacon for all eternity, but my imagination had officially gone wild.

My husband slowly lowered his newspaper and stared at me like he does every time he thinks I’m ready for the loony-bin. “I am not putting you in a bacon coffin and that is that!” he announced.

And so that was that. I sighed as I turned to stand once again in front of the plate of bacon on the counter. As tempting as the idea was, I knew I was not going to spend my life in eternity smelling like I had taken a bath in bacon grease. “Hey, is that bacon done over there?” my husband asked. Wordlessly, I crammed six pieces of bacon in my bra before I placed the plate in front of him.

Hey, don’t judge. I needed to save something good for the after-life.

By Vicky DeCoster – All Rights Reserved

ANOTHER NAIL GUN ACCIDENT

This time a guy in New Jersey was trying to clear a jam in his nail gun when he shot a 3 1/2 inch long nail into his heart. He was airlifted to a hospital where doctors saved his life and he’s expected to make a full recovery.

BACON COFFIN

One Iowa resident will be bringing home the bacon, even in the afterlife.  According to the “Des Moines Register,” a man in the Des Moines area is said to be the first person to buy one of J&D’s Foods’ new bacon coffins.  J&D’s co-founder Dave Lefkow says the man has asked to “remain private,” adding that they “didn’t pry too much.”  The bacon coffin features a bacon-style paint job, and retails for just under three-thousand dollars.  Lefkow adds that his goal is to make sure that people “die wrapped in bacon, in an eternal pork embrace.”

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J & D's Bacon Coffin. Click the pic to view the site.

I love it when a tasty story comes my way and this is one of those cases.

If you’ve got a love of pork products and want to be wrapped in them like a pig in a blanket for eternity, then we’ve got the coffin for you.

US company J & D’s are now offering a bacon coffin, for those who ”love bacon to death”

The genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles.

It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.

I like my bacon as much as the next man but this is something I won’t be forking out $2,999.99 for.

SEATTLE – Do you love bacon to death? Is your dying wish is to be buried in bacon?

The local company behind Bacon Salt and Baconnaise are making it happen.

J&D’s Foods has created the Bacon Coffin, what they call the world’s first bacon-wrapped casket.

“Yes, this is really real,” wrote J&D owners Justin and Dave in a press release. “Bacon Coffins are finished with a painted Bacon and Pork shading and accented with gold stationary handles. The interior has an adjustable bed and mattress, a bacon memorial tube and is completed in ivory crepe coffin linens.”

The Bacon Coffins are available for $2,999.95 plus shipping.

In the email announcing the Bacon Coffin, Justin and Dave added, “Don’t you judge us, after baconlube (bacon flavored personal lubricant), we all knew it was just going to keep getting weirder.  And yeah, your (sic) right we’re probably going to hell for this one.”

King 5 News

Seattle-based bacon product purveyors J&D’s Foods have recently come out with a bacon coffin that allows its owner to rest in peace surrounded by the sight and smell of bacon.

“This genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles,” the website reads. “It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.”

And for only $2,999.99, you can secure for yourself an eternal resting spot cloaked in “the eternal glory that is bacon.”

Beware of bacon buyer’s remorse, though, as returning the coffin is not allowed after purchase.

J&D’s Foods is a tongue-in-cheek operation that focuses on turning every product imaginable into homage to the traditional breakfast side. Funded initially by winning $5,000 on “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” the online store sells everything from bacon lip balm to bacon popcorn.

Let me first begin this post with some clarification: Bacon is delicious and essentially, “meat candy.”

With pork-laden delights such as bacon it’s no wonder people skip keeping kosher. But just because bacon rules doesn’t mean every nitwit on the corner needs to go on about it. We get it, bacon is yummy, big freaking deal.

The ”I lurve bacon express” has been chugging at a fever-pitch since 2005 and frankly, it’s time to pull the train into the station. Bacon, while delicious, is played out.

How do I know this? Because they now make a Bacon Coffin.

For a cool 3k you can purchase a Coffin that has been painstakingly painted to recreate a piece of bacon. The coffin, while not possessing any real bacon, does come outfitted with a complimentary bacon air freshener for the corpse to never smell.

Instant dumb*ss, just add body.

Alright world, with this stupid, stupid coffin, the Bacon worship craze should be officially considered dead. The End.

And for those of you nitwits who are actually considering forking over 3 grand to be buried looking like a big idiot? I’m throwing you ALL shade.

I hope you choke on it.

via

Quite possibly the most thoughtful feature of the “bacon coffin” is the bacon air-refresher built into the coffin’s interior, specifically designed to counter that “buried-underground-not-so-fresh” feeling often cited by the undead as a complaint about … well, death.

According to the Huffington Post, the “bacon coffin” sells for $2,999.99 and is built with 18-gauge gasketed steel, and includes “a premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles.” It’s not listed on the J&D Foods website yet, but you can bet it will be there soon IF this isn’t, in fact, an April Fool’s Day joke.

What do you think? Serious product or hoax? Leave a comment!

See what else is new at 1059SUNNYFM.com:

• Are You Ready For Some Football?!
• Clueless Movie Reviews: Dark Shadows
• The Beach Boys Bring California Dreamin’ To NYC
• Paco Poll: What Should The Magic Do Now That Their Season Is Over?
• Paco’s Beastie Boys Interview: Worst Interview Ever!

In case you've never seen it, this is what bacon looks like while cooking.

Thursday’s lunch was simple. Since I pretty much always have a pack of bacon and some boneless, skinless chicken thighs in the fridge, I figured I can make this an easy lunch.  Really, the bacon was just for the grease and flavor. Who needs herbs when you can have bacon flavored chicken?!

So, the bacon we most often use is hardly paleo. It’s Hormel’s Black Label Maple Bacon (it’s got sugar and preservatives). I’d like to find a more paleo-friendly bacon. If you have a favorite, please let me know in the comments. (As a brief aside, I challenge you to find a pure paleo bacon… I don’t think they exist).

Back to lunch. I cooked the pack of bacon.  Then I threw the chicken into the bacon grease.  Umm… you can’t go wrong. Everything is better with bacon. While it may not be cost effective, I’d probably eat a pair of Christian Louboutins if they were prepared with bacon.

And this is chicken cooking in some bacon grease.

After I threw my chicken into the the grease, I started thinking that I should have a side… other than the bacon. Naturally, I turned my attention to the bunch of radishes that I failed to roast yesterday.  After washing them and quartering them, I threw them in with the chicken.  I had planned to cook them after the chicken, but really, I got tired of waiting for the chicken to finish cooking.

Everything went from the pan to a paper towel to cool and de-grease a little bit. The radishes got a dusting of salt. (We should talk salt later, I probably use too much). Of course, everything had a wonderful maple-bacon flavor.  The radishes were the biggest surprise, they were almost like french fries or hash browns.  Considering I had never cooked a radish in my life, I was quite please with the way lunch turned out.

Finished product.

As a bonus, I’m including a link to an article about a bacon coffin for the rest of you bacon enthusiasts.   I love bacon, but I think a pine or oak box is probably better suited for my final resting place.

Read the Huffington Post article about the Bacon Coffin here.

Photo courtesy of J&D's Foods

It isn’t a bad price at $2999.95 plus shipping and it sounds like there are all sorts of goodies to go with it including a bacon memorial tube (Hmm…dunno what that is for).  On their website they sell baconlube which is bacon-flavored personal lubricant …must be for the handles on your coffin (in case they get squeaky or you are still alive and get hungry). The baconlube was on their website under a tab called “Naughty Bacon”. I guess if you click on that tab you are pretty much considered a pig going to hell.  Of course I clicked on it….

Well you just HAVE to.  When you are on a website discussing a bacon coffin and you see a tab marked “naughty bacon” you just HAVE to click right?!  Hey, I thought maybe it was Babe the pig being beaten or something like that so I had to make certain I didn’t have to call somebody…

Photo courtesy of tannerpemelton.blogspot.com

I like their website. There is really nothing left to say after that.

Take It Or Leave It…

There really can’t be a “take it or leave it” on a post about bacon coffins and bacon-flavored personal lubricant…all has been said. 

Cheers!

~Beth